A/N: Hey there! Once again, I'm sorry for the delay. I've been sick (still am) since Sunday and, to be honest, my desire of writing was = 0. Also this chapter (too short, sorry about that too) is about Beckett dropping the bomb to Castle, and after Monday's episode, I didn't know how to write this. I just hope I've made it justice.

My thanks to Purplewaters, my loyal partner. :) Thanks for all your help, girl.

Thanks also to all of my wonderful readers. Thanks for adding this to alerts, favs and for leaving those nice and sweet reviews. You really make my days :)

And now, I leave you with the story. Any grammar mistakes are all mine. Sorry :( Enjoy!

Chapter 11

Beckett pulled over in front of Castle's building and waited for him to invite her in. He always did. She didn't want to be clingy or pushy, and it'd be less suspicious if he asked her to come up, instead of her inviting herself to his apartment. He didn't disappoint her.

"Hey. You want to come up? It's been a long day. We could order in and have some wine. What do you say?" He asked hopefully.

Kate smiled and nodded, opening her door and getting out of the car to follow him. She didn't miss the surprised look he gave her when she agreed to stay. That he always asked didn't mean she always accepted. In fact, she hardly ever did.

They walked to the door, greeted his doorman and made the short ride up to his floor in comfortable silence. When he opened the door to his loft the voices of the two women of the house could be heard from the living room, muffled by the sound of the TV. Kate dammed her bad luck. She needed him alone tonight.

Castle walked towards the big couch where Martha and Alexis were watching a movie and gave each woman a squeeze in the shoulder.

"Night, ladies. What are you watching?" He asked, directing his attention to the screen.

Alexis smiled and took her dad's hand in hers. "Grams and I were feeling lonely today so we picked 'Love Actually'. True love still exists and is everywhere and all that… You know." The young woman explained to her smirking father.

"Oh! Best romantic movie ever. I love it!" Kate said, showing herself from behind Castle's back.

Martha leaned to her left, so she was able to look at her with a broad smile on her face. "Kate, darling! I didn't know you were there. Sit and watch it with us?" The woman asked.

Kate could see Alexis' face falling a bit, but before she could decline and as soon as the words left his mother's lips, Rick moved his partner towards the couch and made her sit.

"Of course! I'll order dinner while you girls drool over Colin Firth and Hugh Grant." Rick said, as he walked away with his phone in his hand.

When they had finished with the Chinese take out and after watching the movie, Alexis excused herself and left to bed. Martha, on the other hand, joined them for a glass of wine, but was called by a friend and left before they could even start a conversation.

So there they were, sitting on his couch, a glass of wine in hand and no one to interrupt them, at last. Kate couldn't believe the time had come. She had to tell him. Now.

All the courage she had been gathering all day left her the moment Martha closed the door behind her. How was she going to do it? She couldn't just say 'Hey, Castle. Remember when you asked me if I remembered anything about the shooting and I said I didn't? Well, I was joking! I do remember.' And expect him to laugh and shrug it off. This was not going to be that easy. She knew she was going to hurt him, but she also hoped he'd understand so they'd be able to start their for-so-long-postponed life together.

He was looking at her curiously while she argued with herself, his soft laugh making her realize she had zoned out for a while.

"You were in another galaxy just now!" He joked, making her blush at her inability to control her thoughts. "I've called you like three times."

"Sorry."

Her face changed from embarrassed to anxious in a second and he noticed. "You ok?" He asked.

Kate let out a long breath and nodded. "Yeah. I'm just… I need to tell you something…" She paused to try to collect her thoughts and some of that courage she had lost along the way. "You're going to be mad at me, but I need you to let me explain. I need you to understand. So, that means no interruptions, Castle."

He made an attempt to speak and she put a finger to his lips. "No interruptions."

Castle nodded his agreement and looked at her with wide eyes urging her to go on. His face reflected the curiosity, concern and apprehension she expected, and there was also a pinch of fear in his eyes that made her swallow hard before she started talking again.

"Castle, I lied to you. I've been doing it for a long time now." She could see how his brows joined in the middle of his forehead in question. He had no idea what she was talking about. "I lied about the shooting. I lied about not remembering anything." With just those two sentences she had broken him. His face told her, but she had to go on.

"That day at the hospital, when you came in to see me… I was such a mess, Castle. I just couldn't deal with any of it. Certainly not with your words." Her partner's face contracted into a painful wince, but still he didn't talk, respecting her previous request. She hated having to do this to him. Hated being the one to hurt him like that.

"When I came back you were so mad at me that I was scared that if I told you I had lied to you at the hospital, you wouldn't want to go back to the precinct. You wouldn't want to see me again. And I needed you, Castle." The hurt she could see in his eyes made her own wet. This was killing him.

"I know it was stupid and so very selfish after pushing you away for so long, but I didn't know what else to do." Another pause. He stood up and started pacing the space in front of the couch, his eyes focused on the hardwood floor.

Kate took a deep breath before she continued. "Later it was just too late. The lie kept growing and I didn't know how to stop, I didn't know how to change what I had been doing for so long. But I knew I had to. I had to stop lying and I had to come clean. I needed to tell you the truth." She took his hand and stopped his pacing, making him look at her. "I need to tell you the truth because… Because you don't lie to the person you love."

Their eyes kept locked for a long while and she could see the amalgam of feelings swimming in his blue orbs. He finally blinked and stepped away from her, running his hands through his hair.

"Are you finished?" He asked, his voice shaking.

Kate could only nod, hoping for a not too harsh rant.

He was mad. He was so mad. It was all good at first, his anger was growing and the speech he was going to give her after was building slowly in his head. Until that last sentence. 'You don't lie to the person you love.' That had totally disarmed him.

He was still mad, yes, and he was still hurt. But he couldn't give her a speech about honesty, throw in her face how bad her behavior had been, when he was hiding something as big and painful as what she had just revealed to him.

He needed to tell her the truth too, but the emotional condition of both of them was not exactly the best for him to let out another bombshell. So he had to wait.

Kate was expecting his rant, his anger to come out. Maybe a big fight, but nothing farthest from the truth.

"Kate," He looked at her with a strange grimace on his face. "I don't think I can talk about this right now. I think you should go home. We'll talk tomorrow." He said, turning towards his study's door.

Kate's eyes went wide in disbelieve. "What?"

"You heard me. We'll talk tomorrow." He said as nonchalantly as he could.

Kate didn't like the casual tone. This was not something casual. This was not some banal conversation they could just postpone. Again. "You're kidding me, right? I just told you I've been lying to you for months. I just confessed that I'm in love with you, and you want to leave it for later? What the hell, Castle?" She wanted to be done with it. She needed to know what was going to happen between them.

He walked the few steps separating them and invaded her personal space, his nose almost touching hers. "You've waited 10 months to tell me the truth. You can wait a day to hear what I think of it. Good night, Kate." He said, turning around again and disappearing behind his study's door.

Kate was left in the middle of his living room, a stunned expression on her face and a fast beating heart on her chest. She couldn't believe what had just happened.

After a minute to recover she put on her coat and shoes and left Castle's loft not knowing how to feel. They would talk. Tomorrow.

Back in his study Castle was now nursing a glass of scotch. His smart board was on, the face of his partner haunting him from it.

He still couldn't believe what he had just done. The talk. Their talk. The one that he had been waiting to happen for so long, he had postponed it. He had delayed it until after he confessed his own dirty little secret, not being sure if there would be any chance of having that conversation then.

Kate's lie hurt like hell. He didn't know something could hurt like that, but she had also said she loved him. Kate Beckett loved him and that was worth all the pain in the world. He could work on his pain. He could forgive and forget because she loved him.

It was his part of the lie that worried him. His secret was far more dangerous and personal. She had been living with that particular hell for almost half of her life and she wouldn't appreciate he overstepping once again. As much as he loved her, as much as he wanted to protect her, he knew she was not going to understand it easily. He knew feelings were not as primal for her. That his reasons for lying and risking his life were not something she was going to be willing to assimilate. But he'd have to try to explain. Tomorrow.

A/N: I'm sorry to cut it here, but this chapter has been super hard to write. After Monday's episode I was absolutely clueless about how to manage this. We had it sketched like this in the script (I mean her confessing and him putting it off), but it's been very difficult writing all the situation and all the feelings knowing what happened in the 'real' world. Anyway, I hope this doesn't suck too much. Thanks for reading!

I'd really - from the bottom of heart – appreciate some feedback about this chapter. I need to know what you guys think. Please?