Author's note!: Finally! FF has been glitching something fierce! Anyways, here you go my little zombies! :D A new nickname, a guilt trip and car talk. Oh boy!

Disclaimer!: I don't own, but you know, they should totally look on this site for ideas. It's a treasure trove of good ideas!

Oh, and if you can tell me the song that Cali's quoting, then, you get to decide what happens at the CDC ;)

Enjoy!

Chapter 11!: Guilt Is That Annoying Cousin You Invite Over Because You Have Too

*Cali*

"Hold still!" I ordered Glenn as I examined his black eye. It was kind of funny, we were almost twins. Except for the fact that Glenn had probably taken his black eye like a man, and mine wasn't black anymore…more like a nice healthy shade of yellow green.

Yay for jaundice looking eyes. I kept poking at Glenn's eye as he tried to move away from me, but our tent only allowed him so much space to move.

Looks like he's not the only sneaky bastard, I had my well thought out plans too.

"Don't poke it and I won't move!" I smirked as I remembered saying something eerily similar to Lori when she had begun poking and prodding me.

"I'll stop poking if you tell me what happened with you and Daryl in the woods."

"It was a bear."

"Seriously?"

"Yup."

"Okay, say this bear does happen to show up in the woods, why in the hell would you attack it?"

"It attacked us first, and I didn't have anything on me, and Daryl didn't have his bow. So, logically-"

"Yes…logically…"

"-Logically we had to defend camp. So we fought it."

"And it worked?" I could almost taste the skepticism on my tongue. Glenn nodded.

"I'm kind of a bad ass."

"Yeah?"

"Yeah. Like, you know, John Wayne, or Wyatt Errp!"

"You would like westerns…" I rolled my eyes. "Must be why you and Rick get along so well."

"Might be. He fancies himself a cowboy."

"Alrghty Glenn, I just have one more teeny tiny question for you."

"Shoot." he leaned back against our bags, which were packed to their fullest in preparation for the great CDC migration that Camp Clueless would be attempting tomorrow morning. He shot me a cocky little grin.

"What were you and Daryl doing in the woods in the first place?"

His sharp eyes narrowed even more as he thought about my question. "You're too smart for your own good."

"'I bought property on the thin line between 'Genius' and 'Insanity'." I quoted one of my favorite songs. Glenn only rolled his eyes.

"Yeah, I'll believe the insanity part. Look, what happens between dudes, stays between dudes. And you know what, we reached an understanding. Smooth sailing from here."

"So…Daryl did that to you?" I tugged on one of my many string bracelets. Glenn half nodded, half shrugged. "Wait…so that means…his nose…and jaw."

Glenn only smirked.

"Okay, there is no way you're just a pizza boy." I lifted my hands above my head. "You gotta be like, sent from the Korean government to overthrow America or something!" Glenn only rolled his eyes.

"I don't even speak Korean."

"Doesn't matter. I know the truth my friend. Special Agent Ninja Porno Pizza Boy." I smirked. Glenn turned four shades of red as his jaw dropped.

"Special Agent what!"

"Sorry Glenn, what happens between chicks, stays between chicks." I gave him my own shit eating grin and flopped down on my sleeping bag. Reaching under my pillow (read: sweatshirt curled into a semicircle) and poured a half pill onto my palm.

"Crazy."

"Porn star." I jeered as I dropped the half pill in to my mouth, and chased it with a shot of whiskey that I may or may not have stolen from Daryl "Love you Glenn."

"Love you too Cali."

.:.

"Come on people! Up and at 'em! We ain't got all day now! We wanna get to the CDC pronto!" Shane's cheerful voice pulled me from my blissfully drugged slumber, and back into the real world. Which involved a road trip.

Awh screw it all.

I was not a human being that was built for cars…I liked movement too much. I had this weird little…'quirk'. I liked knowing where everything was. Maybe it was OCD, maybe it was some instinct I'd had since I was a kid and that whole 'insomnia starting issue' happened. I wasn't really sure, but I had a thing for knowing where things were.

At the camp, it wasn't really that bad. It was a wide area, so I had been able to scout it out without looking too insane. But a car…well, you can imagine how bad that was going to end up.

Usually, when being aware of an impending car ride, I splurged on some Nyquil. That way, I'd be dead pretty much the entire car trip, and not bug the hell out of anyone.

Today, however appeared to not be the case.

Well, shit. Maybe someone knew if any of the local plants or whatever could knock me out without actually killing me. That'd be nice, it would prevent any real problem. And I was tired enough to drift right through a car ride.

I would use my pills, but how was I supposed to know when I'd get to stock up again? In order to make them last, I had split them all in half, and was taking them with whiskey to make them last as long as I possibly could. It was working now, but the whole 'immunity' thing could kick in at any time, and I just wanted to be able to sleep.

"Cali," Glenn groaned. "Get up."

"Shhh!" I hissed. "I'm figuring some shit out here."

"Figure it out faster. I need to pack up the tent."

"Alright." I sighed and got out of my tent, and shed the oversized green shirt that had become my property. Hunter be damned. I reached into my bag and pulled out a blue tank top, and a black shirt to wear over it. My shorts followed close behind, and I tied my shoes up. I grabbed one of the water bottles me and Glenn kept in the tents, and brushed my teeth.

"Cover up?" Glenn mentioned, pointing at my neck. I pulled the pretty much useless make up bag out of my duffle and rummaged through the contents. I hadn't really touched any of it (save for the eyeliner, because I am a vain, vain human being) since being saved from the first tree, but now I was grateful for it.

The small mirror that was connected to the powder allowed my to search my neck.

Oh hell, that was…dark….

The purple mark could've passed for black, and it was only one of a few marks I had to show for the infamous 'Tree Incident'. the mark, and the scrapes on the back of my legs from the bark, and the little pinpricks on my shoulders from the splinters. Which explains the black shirt I was wearing over my tank top.

Lucky redneck. All his marks would be hidden under his shirt…I hadn't exactly been cuddly with his back.

I began to smear as much powder as I could on that mark, but it still seemed to scream 'LOOK AT ME! CALI IS AN EASY LITTLE WHORE!'

Which, in all honestly, wasn't the truth in the slightest thank you very much! I might take any and all opportunities presented to me, but damn it all, I was choosey when it came to who I uncrossed my legs for. Only two guys had every made the cut. One of them was my boyfriend.

Oh shit. My body grew cold as those thoughts made their way to the front of my head. My boyfriend. My sweet boyfriend. How terrible could I get?

"You okay?" Glenn asked from where he was pulling on his own shirt.

"Is it cheating, if you don't technically break up with someone, they just…they die?" I asked, looking at him hard. He chewed the inside of his mouth.

"Got anymore specifics for me?"

"Not that I feel like jumping into."

"Well, shoot. I suppose, that it's a personal decision at that point. I mean, it's not like he's alive for you to be cheating on right?" I nodded. There was no way he was. "Then it's your own choice. You act accordingly to what you actually feel."

"You're a wise little bastard, aren't ya?" I asked with a smile. He smirked.

"I do happen to have some rather nice redeeming qualities. Now get the eff out of my tent. I wanna pack it up."

"Yes sir Special Agent." I grabbed my repacked bag and crawled out of the tent. I wandered over towards the center of camp, not really sure what I should be doing. Looked like everyone with a car was doing something.

My head was still racing with the guilt and thoughts. I really liked, possibly loved Wade, and he was dead. Just like everyone else from my hometown. Dead and gone. Maybe even a Walker. Although I hoped God loved Wade enough to prevent him that fate.

My boyfriend would've run for the fields. I know he would've. He loved those fields. That's where he'd first told me he liked me, asked me out, first kiss, first time we hooked up. The fields. That was our place, that's where he felt safe.

If you can lay under the grass just right, no one can see you. You disappear. You free yourself. he had explained once after I had asked him why the fields. Just like your thing with trees.

While that boy had been running for his life, I had been hiding in a tree.

When he had been stumbling around as a Walker, I had been moments from allowing a man I barely knew take me. Against a tree no less.

"Hey sweet pea, you alright?" I looked up and was a bit more then surprised to see Lori of all people staring down at me.

I weighted my options, then decided on the truth. "Moral issues. Feel like being a surrogate advice giver?" I gave her a small smile. She nodded at sat down next to me.

"What's up?"

"Okay, say you were with someone. And they were dead. You knew this for a fact. You never broke up or anything, but they died. There obviously can't be a relationship. Now, what if there was someone else, someone you think you can trust. And you might've gone too far with that person already. Is it cheating? Am I hurting the one I was with?"

Lori's eyes were wide, and somewhat guilty, but I couldn't tell you why. She stared at the ground for a long time before speaking. "Death is hard. And you just need to make sure that they are dead. You need to know, because you don't want to make that assumption on blind faith now. You need to make sure. No one wants to make that mistake. So as for the other man, doesn't matter how much you trust him. As long as there's even a slim little chance that your boy is still alive, then you still belong to that boy."

She spoke with conviction, and understanding of a concept I didn't quite grasp. However, I think that she just might be right. I'd have to find out for sure if Wade was dead or not. There was a one in a million shot he was, and I really did have shit luck, so he couldn't be alive.

Of course, the bigger shit luck would me to completely give myself to Daryl, only to find out Wade was alive and well.

"I think you're right ma'am." I smiled, using the Georgian etiquette that I been working to pick up. She nodded her approval.

"So, you feel like riding with the camp?" she asked. "Lord knows that Carl and Sophia will be bored on that ride with all the adults." she gave me a grin.

So basically, I was needed to baby sit. But I didn't mind. That would save me the trouble of even considering riding with Daryl.

Maybe I could avoid this problem, and it would all just disappear.

Right underneath blades of grass, I could free myself of this guilt.

.:.

Knock.

"Are you kidding me?" I groaned as a huge grin split Carl's face. We were playing 31, and that boy had to be the luckiest person I had ever met. He still had four quarters, and my last one was hanging on this hand.

"Twenty even." I sighed, dropping my card.

"Twenty nine."

"What?" I threw my hands in the air. Glenn only rolled his eyes.

"You suck at this stuff Cali."

"I know, I know." I dropped my head in my hands as the RV hit another bump in the road, and my knees smacked into the table we were sitting at. "Oh shi-"

The two children and their mother's glanced at me instantly. "-P. Oh ship." I managed to spit out last minute. They only nodded and went back to their game.

I excused myself from the table, and made the slight trek down the 'hallway' of the RV. No one was really going towards the back, that's where Jim was. Each time we hit a bump, I could hear the man cry out in pain.

I debated between my two forms of calming myself down. Tugging on the bracelet, and chomping on the nail. The nail won this round as I leaned against a wall, trying to stay out of everyone's way. I tried looking out the windshield, but all that gave me a view of was Shane's jeep, and the city we would soon be approaching.

Which meant Daryl was behind us. I had thought about talking to him, but in the end, I couldn't bring myself to do it. I was…I don't even know right now.

God, just go ahead and smite me. I silently begged the sky.

The RV suddenly skidded to a stop, throwing everyone foreword.

Oh man! Oh man! I kid! I kid! Please don't kill me!

"Sorry about that folks!" Dale sighed, and headed out the door. Glenn got up too, and gestured for me to follow. We walked along side Dale as he opened up the old thing's engine. He sighed as he examined the damage. "The belt is done."

"Weren't you going to replace that?" Glenn asked. Dale nodded.

"Well, that was before Merle took off with our cube van." he sighed. "We should probably look for another one. California?"

"Yeah?"

"Would you mind going to see if Daryl has one? When he and Merle first showed up, they had various car parts in that truck, for some reason."

"Uh…sure…" I winced. "I'll get right on that."

I shuffled back towards the end of the caravan, where Daryl sat in his car. I walked to the window, and he rolled it down. "Th' fuck's goin' on?"

"Dale's RV broke it's uh…belt…thingy."

"Th' serpentine belt?"

"Uh…" I tried my hardest to pull what I knew about cars to the front of my brain.

1. Cars drive you places.

2. They are loud.

3. Mine sucked.

That was all I got.

"Maybe? It broke."

"Alrigh'…anything else?" he was looking at me like I was retarded.

"Do you have a belt…thingy?" I asked. The truck was a mess, I wouldn't be surprised if he pulled Jimmy Hoffa out of there anytime soon.

"Doubt it. Might have tuh jus' go lookin' round fer one."

"Help me?" I smiled. He rolled his eyes, but reached for the door.

He took my to at least four different cars, and each one he said that the belt wouldn't work. Hell, I couldn't even tell where the belt was, so I was up for taking his word for it. Finally, he found a belt that would match, so long as it could fit. He unhooked it from the car and handed it to me, and started back towards his truck. I reached out and grabbed his wrist.

Damn it all.

"You found it," I smiled. "Come take the credit."

"Naw, 'M fine. Really." he started back towards the truck, when arguing drew both of our attentions back towards the RV. Looks like Daryl likes drama as much as the rest of us, because he followed me back towards the RV.

Rick was helping Jim out of the RV, and lead him over near a tree.

"What's Rick doing?"

"Jimbo's doin' the right thing. Takin' himself outa th' equation." Daryl answered, leaning against the back of the RV. My jaw dropped.

He couldn't do that! We were going to the CDC for him weren't we! Yet, he was just willing to sit under a tree, until the fever and the disease took him.

Jim looked so sad, so broken under that tree. The weight of the world was on his shoulders, and he couldn't seem to shake it off. He just wanted relief, but was too afraid to ask someone to end it for him. No matter how much he wanted to.

"H-hey…Daryl?" I looked up at the hunter. He gave me another sideways glance.

He would do it for me, if I asked. I'd be willing to bet he felt the same way. I couldn't survive like that, and I wouldn't want to. Besides, if I was being completely honest with myself, this would be the only man for the job. He'd saved my ass twice now, and he seemed to look after me like I was almost 'implied' if you will, property. Property he was hell-bent on not damaging. No matter the cost.

"Nia? Ya got sumtin' ya wanna say?"

"If I ever get bit, can you promise me you'll put a bullet through my brain, first thing?"

"Whut th' fuck ya talkin' 'bout?" he had turned to look at me full on now, confusion finally staining his eyes.

"If I get bit, I want you to kill me okay?"

"Nia-"

"I'm serious." I looked down. "I'm not as strong as Jim. I need to be put out right then and there. Or I'll go insane. Okay?"

He sighed, but gave the slightest nod. I turned back towards him, and held out my pinky. He rolled his eyes. "No' again."

"Please." I whispered. He growled, but he complied, and his pinky slid into mine. "Promise."

"Nia-"

"Please do it."

"Fine. If ya git bit, I promise tuh take care of ya."

"By?"

"Shit." he groaned. "I promise tuh but th' bullet in yer head." he mumbled. But he said it.

"Thank you." I smiled, and dropped my hand. However, my hand made no move to release his finger, and apparently, his didn't either.

They remained twisted together, until the rest of his fingers followed.

Clutching onto his hand only made me feel guiltier, but right now, I needed something to hold onto. Something constant.

He gave me a less sharp smirk, that could've maybe passed as a smile.

As much I felt like I was lying to him, I smiled back. And hoped that I would be able to corner him at the CDC, because there were some things we needed to work out, that couldn't really wait any longer.

Something I would address after I made a phone call.

Okay, I had to move my thanks yous down here, because well, you guys are that awesome :) I would also like to express how many times I read the phrase 'rough and tough' when reading your reviews…I love it!

Lucy Freebird- Consider it done :) however, the moon might be a wee bit difficult, ;)

Willoeshine- oh you know as well as the rest of us that Glenn is definitely a secret bad ass! It just fits him so well!

Rickii101- Gotta love a good ol' fashioned BS story :D

GingerGidget- Ah yes, the strangeness that is Cali's inner thoughts. I'm glad you like it!

CaptianMc- I just honestly could not resist xD

Shivering Tree- Thank you! And speaking for Cali, she loves your name ;)

Kdk2013- How could I not add that! Too perfect :)

Constantlylost-Your request has been accepted, just be ready for a shock ;)

Viktorskrumpet- My dear, I'm very glad you enjoy this so much :D you can breathe now ;)

LillianaKay2011- Glenn has to have a rough and tough side in there somewhere!

UrWorstNightmare97- Thank you! Epic is a fantastic word :)

Jac Danvers-Tension is a good word to describe their relationship, and I can assure you, there will be more of it on the way!

PeytonLane- Oh dear, I hope this satisfied you :) no need to do that 'something' ;)