Chapter Summary -
Alexander is still haunted by his past, a family visit to their home leaves Eliza in disbelief and the birth of their child finally bring joy back into their home.
Alexander awoke from his rather distressing night's sleep.
For the last week, he had been experiencing twisted nightmares, about John, poor Thomas and especially about Eliza.
In his dreams, he was helpless, unable to save any of them. He just had to watch as John was shot, Thomas impaled and Eliza slowly fade away after a traumatic birth.
He would often wake up in a cold sweat, with a worried Eliza shaking him from his dream. She would ask him to tell her the dream, as that is supposed to help. But he never found the courage, in all honesty, he was frightened that if he spoke the dreams, they would come true.
One night, however, Alexander didn't wake up of his own accord. Eliza awoke to the sound her name and another's being almost shouted. She immediately sat up and saw Alexander twisting and turning against the sheets. A cold sweat covered his body and she could she tears on his face.
"Alexander" she called loudly, shaking his arm. "Alexander wake up!"
She hated to see him so distressed, and despite all her efforts, he wouldn't let her help him.
"Eliza!" he mumbled, "please don't go, Eliza!"
"Alexander I'm here" she called, continually shaking his arm.
Her confusion was deepened when she heard him call, "Thomas, I'm sorry!"
Eliza frowned her brow, he had never mentioned a Thomas before.
"Alexander wake up!" she called one last time, shaking his torso.
He shot up like a rocket, narrowly missing Eliza's face who had quickly moved out of the way.
She leant forward and gently touched his back causing him to nearly jump out of his skin. He moved so quickly, Eliza almost felt like her skin had burnt him.
He spun around, his breathing heavy, unable to speak.
"Sh, sh, sh" she hushed, gently pulling his shaking frame towards her.
She rested his head against her chest and let him cry into her nightgown.
"I'm sorry" he breathed, clinging to her.
"It's alright my darling" she hushed, her hand gently brushing over his hair, "don't apologise"
Alexander said nothing, his emotions about the dream were still haunting him.
"Alexander, this is not healthy to have the same nightmare, night after night" began Eliza, keeping her tone soft, "please tell me what's wrong"
"I can't" replied Alexander tearfully.
"You must" ordered Eliza gently, cupping his face in her hands, "please"
Alexander, with tears still falling replied, "I fear I am going to lose you"
"What do you mean?" asked Eliza.
"With the baby, I fear I will lose you both," he said.
"Alexander, women do not die like they used to when giving birth" hushed Eliza.
"But women still die" he objected.
"Well I am not going to be one of them" she assured.
Alexander shook his head, "Everyone I have ever loved has been taken away from me, I think I would cease to exist should you leave me"
"I am never going to leave you, I promise" hushed Eliza.
"My mother said the same thing…" he whispered.
Eliza didn't know how to respond to that.
"Who is Thomas?" she asked.
"Why?"
"You were calling for him in your dream, you kept apologising," she said softly.
"He's not important" murmured Alexander.
"He's important enough for you to dream of him, who is he?" asked Eliza.
Alexander was silent.
Eliza sighed, "my love, I cannot help you if you won't let me"
"He was a boy at Yorktown," he said finally.
"What happened?" she asked.
"He died" whispered Alexander, "he died saving me"
Eliza's heart dropped, "What"
"I don't wish to recall what happened in full detail Eliza, it would be too much for you to bare, but a young man died and his blood is on my hands," said Alexander tearfully.
"Why have you never told me this?" asked Eliza, trying to keep calm.
"I have caused you enough pain already, how could I bear to subject you to more" he whispered.
"We share our pain Alexander, remember at the altar we promised to love and cherish one another unconditionally, you will cause me more pain if you keep things from me," said Eliza.
Alexander nodded but he was still shaken. He pressed a shaky kiss against Eliza's stomach and whispered, "What will our baby's name be?"
"I don't know my darling" she replied gently stroking his hair.
"Please," he said quietly, "tell me some names"
"Well," said Eliza, "An obvious choice for a boy would be Alexander or Elizabeth for a girl "
"What others?" he asked, gently resting his hand on her stomach.
"On my side of the family, there is Philip or John for a boy, for a girl, there is Catherine or Angelica" replied Eliza softly, glad that this odd conversation was keeping him calm.
Alexander nodded.
"If it's a boy we could call him James after your father-"
"No" replied Alexander harshly.
He looked up at Eliza whose eyes were concerned. "We are not naming our son after that poor excuse for a man"
"You never speak of him," said Eliza quietly, "may I ask why?"
"I don't hate many people on this earth Eliza, but I hate that man with my every breath" replied Alexander, his obvious anger surrounding his father spread across his face, "Why do I hate him you ask?, He abandoned my mother and denied to call me his son, I was nothing but his shame"
Eliza knew that his relationship with his father was on thin ice, but she had no idea of the hatred behind the facade.
"You see, that man is nothing to me" spat Alexander angrily, "He has never helped me, even after my mother's death he never sent for me. I owe him thanks for the flesh on my bones and nothing more, he is dead to me"
Eliza gently took his hand in hers, "I'm sorry" she whispered, "I didn't understand"
"That is why I am going to be the father that I never had to this child, it will know and see the love that I never received from him, from the moment it is born our child will be loved and cherished, it will have a father," said Alexander passionately.
Eliza cupped his face in her hand, "You will be a magnificent father, I couldn't ask for a better husband to raise my children with"
Alexander leant forward and kissed her, then he leant down and kissed her stomach, "I am sorry for waking you both"
"We still have a few hours left my dear" smiled Eliza, readjusting the covers after Alexander's nightmare.
"I should hope to sleep better now" sighed Alexander, for the first time in over a week he was looking forward to closing his eyes.
"Sleep well" whispered Eliza, snuggling down beside him.
"Alexander hurry!" exclaimed Eliza.
"What on earth is the matter?" asked Alexander leaning out of his study.
"Angelica and John are here" she exclaimed calling from the bottom of the stairs.
"Coming dearest" he replied, closing the door behind him.
He knew without even looking that Angelica and Eliza had been reunited, the sound of the door swinging open and the prompt screaming and joyful laughter was all the assurance he needed.
"Oh Eliza, how I have missed you" sighed Angelica happily, "and look at how grown you are!"
"I don't feel like I can get any bigger" chuckled Eliza.
"Motherhood is very becoming on you Eliza" smiled Angelica.
Alexander reached the bottom of the stairs and was warmly greeted.
"Our brave soldier" exclaimed Angelica, rushing to give her brother in law a warm embrace.
"I'm a lawyer now I'm afraid, my fighting days are over" smiled Alexander, pressing polite kisses against his sister in laws cheeks.
"You have done our family and our country a great service Alexander, we are all extremely proud of you" smiled Angelica.
"You flatter me" replied Alexander.
"Come along John" teased Angelica, "they won't bite"
Eliza smiled and chuckled at her sister's remark, watching as her brother slowly made his way up the steps.
"Hello, brother" smiled Eliza, gently embracing him.
"My sweet Eliza, how are you?" asked John.
"A little tired but nothing more" she replied.
"I heard about the attack, what has been done to prevent another?" he asked, his tone almost angry.
Eliza was slightly taken aback by John's questioning but fortunately, Alexander stepped in.
"I have returned, that is all the prevention your sister needs," he said, wrapping his arm around Eliza's back.
John was not satisfied, "And who is to say there won't be another regardless?"
"Rest assured, if anyone steps through that door with the intention of harming Eliza or our child, I will handle it" replied Alexander, growing slightly tired of John's constant interference.
"If I was here I would have made sure Eliza wasn't even in the city, what possessed you to keep her here?" questioned John.
"I wanted to move but it became impossible" exclaimed Eliza, "John you know that!"
"Even so, a husband's job is to protect his wife, your husband has failed to do so" spat John.
Eliza's eyes flew to Alexander who let out a low chuckle.
"Really John, you are lecturing me on what a real husband should act like" mused Alexander.
"You did not defend her" exclaimed John angrily.
"Because I did not need defending" retorted Eliza.
"Oh please Eliza, you don't have the strength to defend yourself" spat John.
"You'd be surprised" retorted Alexander. "On the night of the attack, she defended herself better than any man"
John let out a sarcastic laugh, "You have a very distorted view of what a man must be" he said, looking Alexander up and down, "Clearly"
Alexander took a step forward but Eliza was faster, "Alexander stop" she whispered.
"It's time for you to go John" ordered Eliza, turning over her shoulder to face him.
"Come with me and your sister Eliza, have the baby with us not here" pleaded John.
Eliza was disgusted, "You want me to leave my husband and bring his child into the world away from him, simply because you are insecure".
"John this is not the time nor is it appropriate" ordered Angelica sensing the conversion was slowly going to spiral out of control. "We are leaving"
John refused the listen, "Eliza come with us" he ordered, practically grabbing her arm in an attempt to physically remove her.
Alexander slammed his hand down on top of John's, "I wouldn't" he warned.
John ignored Alexander's threat and pulled Eliza closer, "Do not forget where your loyalties lie" he hissed.
Eliza ripped her arm from his grasp, "I know where my loyalties lie" she took Alexander's hand in hers, "they lie right here"
John scoffed, he pointed at Eliza and replied, "No one can say I did not try and warn you, this man will be the ruin of you Eliza"
"Tell me John" mused Alexander, "is it your intention to insult me and my wife every time you set foot in this house?"
John said nothing, he looked at Eliza again before storming out of the house. "Come Angelica" he barked halfway down the path.
"Forgive him the pair of you, he's not himself" pleaded Angelica, before she pressed kisses against Eliza's cheeks and hurried after her irate brother.
Eliza sat at her vanity table, busy writing a letter to Angelica, still fuming over her brother's behaviour.
Her writing was interrupted by a small knock on the door.
"Come in" she called, placing her pen to the side.
Ruth appeared in the door, holding two envelopes together.
"Ma'am these have just come"
"From who?" asked Eliza.
"South Carolina" replied Ruth.
Eliza looked up and held out her hand.
Ruth quickly gave the letters to Eliza who read the print.
Her heart fell.
One letter was addressed in a usual hand and the other had a large X in the top corner.
"Is it Mr Laurens Ma'am?" asked Ruth quietly.
Eliza took a shaky breath, "I'm inclined to believe so"
"Are you going to tell Mr Alexander?" asked Ruth.
"Tell me what?"
Eliza's eyes flew to the door, Alexander had been expecting letters and heard Ruth make her way up the stairs.
"Ruth would you leave us," asked Eliza.
Ruth nodded and Alexander let her past before he closed the door.
"What's wrong?" he asked.
Eliza held out the letters, "I think it's John"
Alexander took a step towards her and stopped, "Read them to me"
"Alexander please" urged Eliza, "you read them"
He shook his head, "Read them to me" he repeated. "Please"
With shaking hands Eliza opened the first letter, she quickly scanned over it and saw it was from John's father addressed to Alexander.
"Well?" asked Alexander.
"It's from his father" she replied.
"Read it" he ordered, his emotions beginning to get the better of him.
Eliza took a deep breath and read out the contents of the letter.
"To our dear Alexander,
I am writing this letter to you with a heavy heart, as it is my duty to inform you that your friend and our son John was killed in a skirmish, between rebel and British forces in the farmlands of South Carolina, three weeks ago.
Please do not be angered at the length of time it has taken for us to inform you, for we as a family only discovered the news four days ago.
From the information we gathered from the reports, we know that he died after sustaining shrapnel wounds to his chest after he was thrown off his horse by enemy cannon fire. His death, though it was not swift, we have been told that he died peacefully and was treated well by the doctors at hand.
As you know our son was involved heavily in the establishment of the first all-black regiment within Washington's forces, it is again my painful duty to inform you, that the surviving members of this battalion have been returned to slavery, and those previously owned, have been returned to their masters.
All his correspondence has been sent back to his home here in Charlotte, therefore I hope you find the letter he addressed to you. It has not been tampered with and we know from the records that the letter was retained and kept by the army the day before he died. I hope what my son wrote in that letter will bring you comfort as well as peace.
We are sending for his remains and are planning a small funeral here in Charlotte. But as yourself and your wife are expecting a child do not feel obliged to attend. We know you will be here in spirit.
Please do not allow this terrible event to separate our families. We shall all need each other's support in these upcoming months, do not hesitate to write to us.
Yours in regret,
Henry Laurens"
Eliza, upon finishing the letter, simply let her arms fall onto her lap. She could not believe what she had just read.
She looked up at Alexander and her heart broke. He was almost childlike when he was scared or upset, a trait she had come to learn well in their short months of marriage. She could see the tears covering his soft brown eyes, his lips quivering and his hand tapping against his leg.
"Alexander," she asked quietly, "are you alright?"
His jaw clenched as he spoke, "Yes, I -I, I have things I must do"
She tried to stop him but the words wouldn't t leave her lips, she just watched him with a heavy heart as he left the room, closing his study door with a heavy thud.
Eliza left him alone for a while, he needed time, time to grieve and most importantly time to understand. She knew how close John and Alexander were, she would often joke with them both, saying John was like Alexander's second wife, as they spent so much time together. As far as she knew their relationship never branched into a physical or intimate one, but she did know that John held a very special place in Alexander's heart.
She read over John's father's letter countless times, hoping and praying that somehow the words would change. She held the other letter addressed to Alexander in her hands, unopened, for what felt like hours.
Eliza knew she would be alone tonight. She ate dinner alone, she wrote in her diary alone, she got undressed and redressed for bed alone. For the first night, since he returned from the war, she would be going to sleep alone.
Before extinguishing the Gaslamp, Eliza slowly padded out onto the landing and approached his study. She went to knock and stopped herself. Holding the letter in her hands, she dropped it on the floor and with her foot, as she was unable to bend, slid it under the door.
She hoped he would hear it or see it, but most importantly she hoped it would bring him comfort.
Alexander jolted awake.
His body was stiff as he had been lying across his desk for an extended period of time. He sat up with a groan and stretched out his arms.
The Gaslamp was flickering, which he quickly brought back to life.
Once the room became illuminated he saw the stars in the darkness. He had no idea it was so late.
Alexander shuffled to the door and opened it, he stopped as he felt and heard the sound of paper under his feet. He looked down and recognised the letter. It was the unopened letter from John.
He picked it up and carried it back to his desk, slumping back down into his chair as another wave of grief consumed him. Before he even opened the envelope, his shaking hands poured himself another glass of brandy, his slight drunkenness was the only thing keeping him from flying into a rage.
He could stand this waiting no longer. He pulled open the letter and with his hazy vision, he began to read the letter.
"Dear Alexander,
It is my sincerest hope that you will never receive this letter, as I would hope to able to say these things to you in person. However, if you are reading this letter, then I will be gone, but I hope you will hear my voice through these words.
I should start by thanking you for your companionship and your constant support in all my endeavours. Without you my dear friend, I would never have been raised to this position, a position for which, I truly feel unworthy.
I could see it in your face when you talked about the baby and Eliza, that you are worried.
I shared your concerns before my daughter was born. But I can say as a friend and as a fellow man, that you will be a fine father. You never asked me for any advice about parenthood, in reality, it is not something that can be taught, but something you must experience for yourself.
I assure you, you have not felt true love until your own child is placed in your arms. At that moment if someone asked you to move a mountain to keep them safe, you would do it. Rest assured Alexander, with Eliza by your side, your child will have the best parents this side of the river.
Before I end this letter, please send my love and my thanks to your dear Eliza. She is a fine woman, and in life and in death I will always speak of my admiration for such a great lady.
Speaking truthfully Alexander, I do not know if there is a heaven or whether I will enter into such a place. But I hope wherever my soul ends up will be a place of peace and rest.
I hope that we shall meet again my friend, I also hope that it is in a better place than this.
May God grant you and Eliza a long and happy life, I know you are more than deserving of it.
Farewell, my brother.
Yours, John".
As Alexander reached the end of the letter, in a moment of extreme anguish, he slammed down the hand holding the glass onto his desk. He did not realise the force he used, as the glass smashed, resulting in most of the glass embedding itself into the wood and his hand.
He began to sob against the letter. Not just from the pain in his hand, but the pain in his heart. He had not just lost a friend, he had lost a brother.
Eliza, who had been awake most of the night, partly from grief but also worry, was quick to respond at the sound of broken glass.
Wrapped in her shawl, she padded out onto the landing and quietly approached Alexander's study. She leant around the half-open door and her heart broke.
Her husband was hunched over his desk, his frame racked with sobs whilst clutching the letter.
"Oh, my darling" she whispered, gently walking over to his desk.
Without a second thought, she wrapped her arms around his shaking form and tried her best to comfort him.
Alexander realised she was there when he felt her kiss his head.
"He's - he's gone" he sobbed, shaking the letter in his hands.
"I'm so sorry Alexander," said Eliza, her own emotions beginning to get the best of her, "I know how much he meant to you"
"We - he had so many plans for after the war- he was only beginning," said Alexander through his tears.
"Then they must not die with him" urged Eliza softly. "His vision must live on"
"Yes" breathed Alexander.
"Will you let me fix your hand?" she asked, gently twisting his arm to see the damage.
He nodded and allowed her to guide him to their bedroom. He watched as Eliza rummaged around in her wardrobe and found the necessary bindings and ointments.
"You must think me a fool," he said, hissing as she tried to pull out the shards of glass, trying to cause him as little pain as possible.
"I don't think you are anything like a fool Alexander, you have lost someone who you cared about greatly, it is only natural to become angry with despair" hushed Eliza, pulling out the glass with a pair of tweezers.
"I'm am sorry to have woken you" he apologised, "I've have been making a habit of it lately"
"You do not need to apologise" she smiled, "when the baby comes, we will both be awake at all hours of the day and night"
Alexander smiled at the mention of their child. He gently laid his unharmed hand on the top of her swollen stomach, "when the baby comes" he repeated.
"Our little one should be making its appearance any day now," said Eliza, pulling out the last few pieces of glass.
"Are you not frightened?" asked Alexander.
"Frightened?" inquired Eliza.
"Well I've heard the pain is indescribable, and it can last for days, I would be afraid," said Alexander quietly.
"Pain is part of life, it is the price I have to pay in order to bring a child into the world, my years of joy will soon outnumber my hours of pain" replied Eliza.
"You are wise beyond your years Elizabeth Hamilton" mused Alexander, gently rubbing her cheek with his thumb.
She chuckled and twisted her head to kiss his hand.
"Now," she said, "speaking of pain, this is going to hurt"
"What is it?" asked Alexander.
"Witch hazel" replied Eliza, soaking a piece of cotton with the contents of a large clear bottle.
"Take a deep breath" she ordered before she gently began to dab the cotton onto the several cuts of Alexander's hand.
"Shit!" yelped Alexander, as the liquid leaked into his open wounds, "Pardon me, Eliza"
"Don't apologise" she hushed, "this hurts, swear all you like"
Alexander bit down on his lip as Eliza gently cleaned and bound his hand up.
"Fortunately, you write with your other hand, so this injury should not hinder you from your work" mused Eliza, packing up her things.
"I can write with both" replied Alexander.
"Somehow that doesn't come as a surprise" she chuckled.
As she reached the wardrobe she felt a twinge in her stomach, indicating something was happening.
She grunted slightly and pressed her hand against her stomach.
"Eliza?" called Alexander.
"I'm alright" she replied, trying to straighten up, "Just a little twinge that's all, Doctor Ford said to expect it"
"Come and lie down" ordered Alexander, now worried.
"No" she protested, "I'd rather sit"
Alexander wasn't going to argue, he helped her sit down, his hand never leaving hers.
"Might I stay here tonight?" she said, "I don't want to lie down again"
"Of course" smiled Alexander.
"Could you get me a blanket of some sort?" she asked.
Alexander nodded and pulled the large duvet off their bed and draped it around Eliza.
"But what will you sleep under" she protested.
"I will just lie on the sheets, I want to be able to get up quickly should you need me" assured Alexander, pressing a kiss against her forehead.
Eliza smiled, "you are good to me"
"I have every right to be" replied Alexander.
That morning Eliza's pains had disappeared, but Alexander was still reluctant to leave her.
"Eliza I am not leaving you" protested Alexander.
"Alexander you must go, at least for some of the day, I will send Samuel if I need you" urged Eliza.
"I can complete my work here, it's not a problem" exclaimed Alexander.
"Go to work, I am fine" ordered Eliza, almost pushing him out of the door.
"Are you sure?"
"Yes, darling, now go" smiled Eliza.
He took three steps before he turned back and said, "You'll send for me the second anything happens?"
"Yes," she replied with a grin.
He took four more steps and was going to speak again, but Eliza stopped him.
"Alexander go!" she laughed.
She waved him off, watching his horse travel down the road.
Eliza closed the door and was quickly escorted back to her room by Ruth.
"Do you need anything Ma'am?" she asked.
"No Ruth, some peace and quiet is all I require" replied Eliza.
"Very good Ma'am, I'll make sure people stay quiet for you" smiled Ruth.
Eliza smiled her thanks and took a seat beside the window.
After a while, she kept getting a small sharp twinge in her stomach, but it was so faint, at times she thought she was imagining things.
She sat in her room for what felt like hours. She had pretended she was asleep that morning, whilst she heard Alexander issuing strict instructions to Ruth about making sure that she was not to travel around by herself.
Eliza watched the outside world until she could bear it no longer. She got up and walked across the room. As she opened the door, a very surprised Immanuel sprang to life and stood up.
"And just how long have you been sitting there Immanuel?" asked Eliza.
"Since Mama closed the door" he replied.
"Are you telling me you have sat on the carpet, looking through the keyhole for over four hours?" asked Eliza.
"Yes Ma'am"
Eliza chuckled, "Since you are my bodyguard would I be permitted to walk along the hall to the nursery?"
"My Mama said I wasn't to let you leave the room" protested Immanuel.
"I wish to walk five steps, Immanuel, five steps are not going to do me any harm" smiled Eliza.
"But Mr Alexander said-" butted Immanuel.
"Immanuel that had better not be you making all that noise whilst Miss Eliza is resting" called Ruth, who was climbing up the stairs.
"Oh, Miss Eliza" she exclaimed once she reached the top, "Are you alright?"
"Quite marvellous actually" replied Eliza, "I was wanting to visit the nursery and little Immanuel here was issuing Alexander's warnings"
"Yes Ma'am, he said he didn't want you walking around" nodded Ruth.
"I am going to the nursery, I have run out of things to do in my room, I want to fold clothes or shake off the blankets, anything to keep me occupied," said Eliza, stepping past them both.
"But Ma'am!" protested Ruth.
"Ruth, I am bored beyond belief, Immanuel can sit behind another door, or even better I will leave it open, I won't be doing any strenuous activities," said Eliza, opening the nursery door.
"As long as you are sure Ma'am," said Ruth nervously.
"Quite sure" smiled Eliza, walking in and opening the curtains.
The room looked perfect. Herself and Alexander had spent many months before and during the war getting this room prepared. Now it had everything, except one vital thing, the baby.
Eliza wandered around the room, readjusting things and making mental notes of the arrangements in the wardrobe and trunks.
Over the last few days, she had been receiving countless gifts from her family and friends. Her little baby was going to be spoiled rotten at this rate.
Out of the corner of her eye, she saw Immanuel watching her.
She smiled at him and nodded at him, "Want to help?"
He nodded and ran across the room to her.
"I need your advice," she said.
"Really!" exclaimed Immanuel
"Yes, I need to choose what gown I have the baby christened in," said Eliza, pulling two long white gowns out of the biggest trunks. "And I can't decide which one to choose?"
Immanuel stared closely at both before he said, "but Miss Eliza, what if it's a boy?"
"Boys wear christening gowns too" replied Eliza.
Immanuel laughed and then looked at both of them again.
"I like that one best" he proclaimed pointing to the first of the two.
Eliza smiled, "I agree with you," she said.
She lay the first gown out on the back of the rocking chair, gently smoothing the fabric with her fingers. It was the longer of the two gowns but by far the prettiest. It had delicate lace sewn into the collar and cuffs, with little buttons sewn onto the back. It was just perfect.
It was as she bent down the put the gowns back in the trunk, did she suddenly feel a fast, hard pain in her stomach.
She moaned in pain and Immanuel immediately ran yelling for his mother.
Ruth appeared in seconds and said playfully, "See Ma'am, I told you that leaving your bed was a bad idea"
Eliza laughed before she felt another sharp pain.
"Come along, we'll get you back to your bed and get you undressed" urged Ruth, slowly leading Eliza back through the hallway.
Eliza breathed slowly as Ruth helped her out of her gown and stays until she was in her slip.
With the next sharp pain, Eliza suddenly felt water drip down her legs.
She went scarlet and exclaimed, "Ruth, I did not need to use the privy!"
"Oh Lordy Ma'am, that's your water breaking, this baby is coming today" smiled Ruth, "we had best get you on the bed, lying down normally slows the process"
Eliza tried to keep calm, luckily Ruth kept her talking.
"So have you thought of any names yet Miss Eliza?"
"It's been discussed" replied Eliza, bracing herself for the next pain.
"What's the favourite?" called Ruth, gathering towels from the privy.
"Phillip for a boy" groaned Eliza, "and Angelica for a girl"
"Fine names Miss Eliza, fine names indeed" replied Ruth.
"Can you send for Alexander Ruth" called Eliza, "I want him here"
"We've sent for him already, George has gone for the Doctor and Samuel has gone for Mr Alexander" assured Ruth.
Eliza smiled in between her pains, praying for the strength to bring their child into the world.
Samuel flew up the steps of the City Hall building and banged on the door.
"What you want?" barked the guard.
"I need to see Mr Alexander Hamilton immediately," he said.
"He's not taking visitors" chuckled the guard, before beginning to close the doors.
Samuel pushed in the gap, "tell him that Samuel has a message for him"
"And why would I do that?" asked the guard.
"Mr Barker" called a voice, "let the young man inside"
Samuel did not recognise the voice but thanked him all the same.
The guard let him pass and the young man asked Samuel, "I am Matthew, Mr Hamilton's assistant, what can I do for you?"
"I need to see him, it's about Miss Eliza" exclaimed Samuel.
"His wife?" inquired Matthew.
"Yes Sir, she's having the baby, that's all he needs to hear" urged Samuel, "you tell him that and you send him out to me"
"Mr Hamilton is not to be disturbed" warned Matthew.
"He won't care, please tell him!" exclaimed Samuel.
Matthew sighed and reluctantly agreed to pass on the message.
"Be quick about Sir" urged Samuel, "she could have her baby any minute!"
Alexander sat at his desk.
He had done a large amount of copying work as it required his full attention, meaning his worries for Eliza and grief for John were completely shut out.
He read over the final paragraph, making some last adjustments when a knock at his door, pulled him from his work.
"Yes," he called out.
His saw his assistant Matthew hover at the door.
"Yes Matthew, what is it?" he asked, continuing to scribble away at his work.
"You have a message, Sir," said Matthew.
"Well what is it?" asked Alexander.
"It's about your wife Sir"
Alexander's head flew up, "What about her?"
"A servant of yours came just a moment ago, to inform you that she has gone into labour" replied Matthew.
In an instant, Alexander's grabbed his coat and called orders to Matthew, "you will have to cancel my meetings this afternoon"
"Yes, Sir" replied Matthew, watching as Alexander flew out of his office and ran down the corridor.
Alexander quickly reached the front entrance and burst out onto the steps.
"Mr Alexander!" shouted Samuel waiting by his and his master's horse.
"How is she?" asked Alexander, as he reached the bottom of the steps.
"She's only just started feeling bad pains Sir, it could be a while yet" replied Samuel.
"Well, he had best get back" ordered Alexander swinging onto the saddle with ease.
Eliza was getting some relief as her pains were still very spread out.
"How long Ruth?" she asked.
"Well Ma'am" began Ruth, "your water has broken, now it is only a matter of time"
"How long were you with Immanuel?" asked Eliza.
Ruth smiled, "that boy did not take his time, my water broke and an hour later he was in my arms, but I think as this is your first baby, you might take a few hours at least"
Eliza nodded and groaned as another pain wracked her body.
"Try not to push yet Miss Eliza, your body will tell you when" hushed Ruth.
"You know a lot about babies Ruth" mused Eliza, breathing through her pain.
"Ruth laughed, "I've been delivering babies since I was thirteen Ma'am, I probably know more than those fancy doctors do"
Eliza smiled, "I can imagine that"
"Eliza!" exclaimed Alexander, his loud voice carrying through the house.
"We are up here Mr Alexander" replied Ruth, hurrying over to the door.
Alexander ran up the stairs, taking two steps at a time in places, with Samuel close behind. He burst into the bedroom and ran over to Eliza, giving her the once-over with his eyes and hands.
"Well hello to you too" mused Eliza.
Alexander smiled, "I'm sorry, but I just needed to make sure you were well"
"Yes, despite my pains I am fine" smiled Eliza, before another wave of agony pumped through her body.
She groaned in pain and Alexander did not know what to do.
She just took his hand and squeezed it, until her pain had passed.
Alexander sat down beside her, pulling a chair over, "What can I do?"
"Just stay here, for now, keep talking to me," asked Eliza.
"Ruth?" asked Alexander.
"Yes Sir, just keep talking to her, that's all we can do until the Doctor gets here" assured Ruth.
"How soon will that be?" he asked.
"George left to get him when Samuel left to come for you Sir, but Doctor Ford may be with another patient," said Ruth.
"Well he had better get here soon" mumbled Alexander, before pressing a kiss against Eliza's sweaty forehead.
An hour past and Eliza's pains were still spread out but they were getting more intense, which had Alexander worried.
"This is normal Ruth?" inquired Alexander.
"Yes Sir, Miss Eliza is doing just fine" assured Ruth.
"Don't fuss darling" hushed Eliza, "I am fine"
"I can't help it" replied Alexander, "You are in pain and I want it to stop it"
"It will stop when our baby is born" smiled Eliza.
"Mama!" called Immanuel from downstairs.
"Yes, baby" she replied.
"Doctor is here," said Immanuel.
"I'll go and get him" called Ruth, not wanting to leave Miss Eliza alone for too long.
Alexander was relieved to hear of the Doctor's arrival, "At last" he sighed.
Eliza smiled before another intense pain shook through her body.
Alexander winced at every painful groan she made, he wished she didn't have to experience this kind of pain.
After all, it was his fault she was pregnant in the first place. Eliza was always quick to reassure him on that subject, however. She assured him that it was a joint effort, she wanted children just as much as he did. She said it was just a shame that childbirth fell to her lot in life rather than his.
"Good afternoon Mrs Hamilton" called Doctor Ford as he entered the room, "and Mr Hamilton as well, it is unusual I must say to find that father still around at birth"
"I've not started quite yet Doctor" objected Eliza, "he knows he must leave once my real labour begins"
"I would hope so too unless you are a Doctor, no men are permitted in the room during labour, is that understood?" ordered Doctor Ford.
Alexander nodded, "Yes Sir"
"Now your servant was informing me that your waters have broken," said the Doctor, taking notes in his notepad.
"Yes around two hours ago" replied Eliza.
"Has she examined you yet?" asked the Doctor.
"No I haven't been examined" replied Eliza, rather unsure as to what the Doctor meant by examination.
"Well, that is where I must start" proclaimed the Doctor.
"What does examination involve exactly?" asked Eliza.
"I'm afraid it is rather intimate Mrs Hamilton, I must feel the inside and the opening of your vagina in order to make an estimation of the width, which will indicate how fast your labour is progressing" replied Doctor Ford, emptying the contents of his bag on the nearby table.
Eliza blushed scarlet, she had never heard the medical term for her private area before, nor was she so used to that part of her body being talked about so openly.
Alexander did not like the idea of another man touching Eliza, especially in a place where only he and Eliza herself should have access to.
"Is that completely necessary?" asked Alexander.
"I'm afraid so Mr Hamilton, I must be allowed to do my job, if you feel uncomfortable perhaps it would be best if you left us" suggested Doctor Ford.
"No" objected Alexander, "I will stay"
"Now Mrs Hamilton, I assume that under your nightgown you are bare?" asked Doctor Ford.
"Yes" replied Eliza.
"Very good, now do we have a large sheet available?" inquired the Doctor, looking towards Ruth.
"Yes Sir" she replied, "just here"
"Would you mind draping it over Mrs Hamilton's hips and legs" ordered the Doctor.
"What is this for?" asked Eliza
"So you are able to retain some of your modesty Madam" replied the Doctor.
Ruth gently laid the large sheet over Eliza and gave her a reassuring smile.
"Now Mrs Hamilton, would you raise your legs for me, spreading them out as you go" ordered Doctor Ford.
Eliza reluctantly did as he asked, but was quick to object as he went to glance under the sheet.
"I would rather you didn't look Doctor!" she objected.
"I'm afraid I must insist Mrs Hamilton, I cannot deliver your baby blind," said the Doctor.
"My servant Ruth, she had delivered countless babies, I would not be completely opposed to her being your eyes," said Eliza, looking at Ruth with pleading eyes.
Doctor Ford leant round and addressed Ruth, " What says you, my dear, do you know what you are doing?"
"Yes Sir, I may not know all the fancy terms, but I sure as hell knows what it should look like when a woman is having a baby" replied Ruth.
"Very well, I will use my hands only and your servant can guide my hands if necessary," said Doctor Ford.
"Now would you hold still for me, this will feel foreign I know, but please keep as little movement as you can" he ordered.
Eliza let out a strained breath as she felt the Doctor's fingers enter her body.
"Please try and relax Mrs Hamilton" he ordered.
She nodded and tried the relax, however it was a strange situation.
Eliza didn't know where to look, she didn't want to make eye contact with the Doctor. Looking at Alexander was impossible, as he was just as uncomfortable about this as she was. Ruth was also not an option so Eliza simply stared towards the door until she, at last, felt the Doctor's fingers slip back out.
"Very good Mrs Hamilton, well done" praised Doctor Ford, cleaning his fingers and jotting down the information in his notebook.
Eliza didn't know what made her feel more mortified, the Doctor cleaning off his fingers or the immortalisation of her personal measurements in his book.
"What was the purpose of that exactly Doctor?" inquired Alexander.
"It is the only way for us to establish how far along a woman is in her labour" began the Doctor, "as the baby moves out of the womb, to put it more discreetly, the internal walls of the woman widen and stretch, once a woman reaches the ideal width, the labour will intensify and the baby should swiftly follow"
"And so how far along am I Doctor?" asked Eliza.
"You still have quite a way to go yet Mrs Hamilton" replied Doctor Ford.
Alexander smiled and squeezed her hand, "I will stay for as long as you want me too"
"You may stay for now" she replied, "but once I start having the baby properly you must go downstairs and stay there"
"I will" promised Alexander.
"I mean it Alexander" urged Eliza.
"Eliza, I promise you I will go when you want me to" assured Alexander.
As the hours passed, the strengths of Eliza's pains grew.
Every so often the Doctor would place his fingers back inside her, and assure her that all was well.
As her pains came closer and closer together, Eliza became aware that her pain skyrocketed. She felt like her baby was tearing their way out rather than stretching and pushing.
"I wonder would you look now?" asked Doctor Ford, ushering Ruth over to the bed.
"I beg your pardon Miss Eliza" blushed Ruth, before she knelt down and placed her head under the sheet.
She emerged with a smile, "Mr Alexander it's time for you to go, I can see and feel the very top of the baby's head, Miss Eliza, you are gonna need to start pushing soon"
"Pardon me Mrs Hamilton" said the Doctor, again using his fingers and years of knowledge to assess the situation. "Yes my dear girl you are right, Mr Hamilton you must leave us now" he ordered.
Alexander was suddenly very reluctant to leave Eliza. If this was only the beginning of her pain, he wanted to be by her side.
"Eliza are you sure you don't want me to stay?" he asked.
"No, Alexander, please go," she asked, panting heavily.
"Eliza-"
"Mr Alexander, you must go now, she isn't pushing because you are here, it could harm the baby if she doesn't push soon, please go" urged Ruth.
Alexander hated himself for leaving, but despite his mind and heart screaming at him to stay, he pressed a kiss against Eliza's lips, "I love you" he said.
"I love you" she replied, just able to still smile at him as he left the room.
"There now Mrs Hamilton, it's just us now," said Doctor Ford, using his fingers once again to estimate the width. "Now with the next pain, I need you to push"
"How do I push?" asked Eliza, her breathing heavy.
"You will do it without realising it Miss Eliza, just do as Doctor says" hushed Ruth.
Eliza felt the next pain build and cried out in agony as she tried to push.
Alexander heard this cry and almost ran back up the stairs. He now understood why men liked to leave the house when their wives were having babies, they couldn't stand to hear them scream.
"Come on down Mr Alexander" called Samuel, "you can't do her any good standing there"
Alexander sighed and understood, he followed Samuel into the drawing room and quickly threw back a large glass of brandy.
"I hope she won't scream like that for long" he groaned, letting his head fall into his hands, "I won't be able to stand it"
"It's hard isn't it Sir," said Samuel, sympathetic for him.
"No man wants to see their wife in pain" exclaimed Alexander, "she isn't just in pain, she is in agony and I can't do a thing to stop it"
"Fortunately Miss Eliza is a strong woman, her bravery seems to know no bounds" smiled Samuel.
"Strong, the word strong is worthy of her, she needs a word of her own" mused Alexander, almost daring to laugh until Eliza's scream nearly tore him in two.
In her bedroom, Eliza was experiencing a new kind of pain.
With each and every wave of pain, she felt like she was being torn in half.
"Ruth!" she cried, taking a break in between her agony, "I can't do this!"
"Yes you can Miss Eliza" assured Ruth, "your baby is almost here"
"You are doing wonderfully Mrs Hamilton" added the Doctor, once again feeling for the position of the baby.
"The baby's head is in the right position Mrs Hamilton, with the next pain I need you to push with all the strength you have" ordered Doctor Ford.
"I can't" cried, Eliza.
"I'm afraid this is not a matter of can or can't Mrs Hamilton, it is a must" urged the Doctor.
Eliza breathed deeply and Ruth rushed to her side. "You can do this Miss Eliza," she said, "think of all the things you can do once the baby is here"
"The christening gown" sighed Eliza, before feeling her pain build.
"Yes, and all those beautiful clothes you made, think of its little face and how sweet it will be" continued Ruth.
"Yes" groaned Eliza, panting like the Doctor told her.
"My dear we shall need towels" called the Doctor.
Ruth reluctantly left Eliza's side and rushed across the room to gather everything the Doctor could need.
"Now with this pain Mrs Hamilton, you must push will all your might, and your baby's head will be born" called the Doctor.
Eliza took a deep breath and screamed in agony, as she pushed with all her remaining strength.
"Yes, keep going Mrs Hamilton" praised Doctor Ford, "now stop pushing"
Eliza kept panting and trying to obey the Doctor.
"Now with this last pain, use all your strength and push out your baby's body" ordered Doctor Ford.
Eliza nodded and with a final scream of pain, she felt the baby leave her body.
Instantly, once the baby was the right way up, it started to cry, loud and clear.
"Ruth" called Eliza, "what is it? is my baby healthy!"
Ruth was trying to hold back her own tears, "it's a boy Miss Eliza, a beautiful baby boy!"
"A boy!" cried Eliza, "we have a son, Alexander has a son!"
Doctor Ford, quickly cut the umbilical cord and Ruth wrapped up the tiny baby, she gently passed him over to Eliza, whose heart melted the second she saw him.
Eliza was too much in awe and did not even realise that the Doctor managed to deliver the healthy afterbirth and that any dangerous signs of bleeding were nowhere to be found.
"Congratulations Mrs Hamilton, he is a fine young lad" praised the Doctor.
"Thank you Doctor Ford" smiled Eliza, still unable to take her eyes off her newborn son.
"Shall I go and tell Mr Alexander?" asked Ruth.
"Yes, go and tell him- no wait" called Eliza, "can we clean him up first"
"Of course" smiled Ruth.
"How do we clean him?" asked Eliza with a smile.
"Just gently rub at his skin with the towel, that will clean him up," said Ruth.
"Like this?" asked Eliza, taking the corner of the towel and wiping gently across her son's tiny face.
"You're a natural Miss Eliza" smiled Ruth.
"I think you are ready to meet your Papa now my darling" whispered Eliza, folding the towel back into place.
Ruth smiled, "I'm sure I won't be long"
Eliza thanked her again and watched as she quickly left the room.
Alexander was glad that Eliza's screaming had ceased, it was becoming unbearable.
Hearing her sound in that much pain was killing him, but the silence was worse.
Neither Alexander or Samuel spoke a word, it was only when they heard footsteps running down the stairs did they jump to their feet.
Ruth burst into the room and ran to Alexander.
She could barely speak for smiling.
"Well!" urged Alexander.
Ruth took his hands in hers, "A boy Mr Alexander, you have a son"
Alexander nearly choked on his words he was so overwhelmed, "I have a son" he repeated.
"Yes Sir, and a mighty fine boy he is too" smiled Ruth.
"I have a son" whispered Alexander, completely overcome.
"Yes, go and see for yourself" urged Ruth, "Miss Eliza wants you!"
Alexander looked towards the door before he almost ran from the room. He charged up the stairs and flew through the open door. His eyes fell on Eliza and the tiny bundle in her arms. He couldn't take one step further.
Eliza looked up and smiled.
"Alexander, come" she called quietly.
He took slow, small steps, eventually casting his eyes upon his son.
Alexander climbed onto the bed beside Eliza, and could hardly believe his eyes.
"Here, you must hold him" urged Eliza softly.
Alexander did not know where to put his arms or hands.
"Just let him rest against your chest, hold his head" tutored Eliza, gently passing over their son.
Alexander held his son in his arms and could hardly speak.
He gently ran his thumb across his son's cheek and gently said, "I have never seen anything so beautiful in all my life"
"He looks just like his father" smiled Eliza, gently brushing the few hairs on her son's head.
"Forgive me for interrupting, but does the young man have a name?" asked Doctor Ford who had been busy cleaning his equipment and writing the events of the birth in his notebook. "I need a name for the records"
"You choose Eliza" urged Alexander.
"Philip Alexander," she said quickly, looking up at Alexander who chuckled quietly.
"Is that confirmed with you Sir?" asked Doctor Ford.
"It is indeed" smiled Alexander, "Our son, Philip Alexander Hamilton"