"I wish I had a time machine." Gabriella said.

Lola shook her head, "If we had those, life would be too easy."

"That's why they would be so amazing." Gabriella replied.

Lola sighed and sat next to her little sister, "How are you feeling?"

"Like a despicable human being."

"It can't be that horrible." Lola said.

Gabriella gagged at the optimism in her sister's voice. "You weren't there so you wouldn't know. I've never seen him so mad before. And that look he had in his eyes. He was disgusted by me."

"How much did you tell him?"

Gabriella put her hand over her eyes, "He asked me why Ian and I were engaged if we didn't go through with it and I told him I was pregnant, but I broke the engagement off. And he left."

"So, he doesn't know that you..."

"Had a miscarriage?" Gabriella finished. She shook her head, "No. He doesn't know."

"So he thinks you have a kid?"

"I don't know what he thinks."

"Don't you want to talk to him at all?" Lola asked. "Don't you want to explain things?"

"He won't let me!" Gabriella yelled. "He left. He isn't answering my calls, I stopped by his condo, no one opened the door. He doesn't want to talk to me and I do not blame him. I deserve it. I deserve to be single for the rest of my life."

"Stop blaming yourself." Lola ordered, gently. "You didn't do anything wrong."

"I did everything wrong, Lola." Gabriella argued. "I should have told him earlier. It shouldn't have come out like that. I was going to tell him, but instead he found the ring in my room."

"Is there anything I can do for you?"

Gabriella groaned, "Get me an Xanax and a glass of wine."

"For someone who has a college degree, you'd be stupid to mix those two together."

"Well how about leaving me alone." Gabriella suggested.

"No way." Lola scoffed, grabbing Gabriella's remote out of her hands. "You're over here throwing yourself a pity party."

"Am not!" Gabriella argued, crossing her arms over her chest.

"You've been watching TiVo'd episodes of General Hospital and crying all day long in this dark ass bedroom."

"Its been a really good week, despite the fact that they're fucking up people's birthdays. Olivia might be having a baby with Steve, and do not even get me started on Jason and Sam's drama. I mean God forbid they let anyone be happy on a soap opera. Now they're getting a really crappy storyline..."

"I saw the episode." Lola cut in. "Now get up. I'm not going to let you wallow any longer."

Gabriella frowned, "Why not? Why do you have to be a supportive sister?"

"Because I love you."

Gabriella groaned, "Ugh. Love sucks."

Lola grabbed Gabriella's arm and shook her like a preschooler, "Come on. Call your friends and we can have a girls night in."

Gabriella closed her eyes. It was obvious she wasn't going to give up any time soon. "Fine. Call them."

Lola smiled, "Yay! We're going to have fun."

"Gabi!" Sharpay shrieked, pulling her best friend into a bone crushing hug. "I haven't seen you in like a week.

"Hi Shar." Gabriella greeted, peeling Sharpay off of her body.

"How have you been?" Taylor asked. "You've been MIA."

"Yeah. What's up?"

"Are you dying?"

"Nowhere. Nothing, and no, I'm not dying, Sharpay."

Sharpay shrugged, "Well, we've been besties for a long time. We talk every day and one day, you drop off the face of the planet. What the hell is going on?"

Taylor walked around Gabriella, "Dirty hair, bloodshot eyes, unshaven legs, fattening foods. Something is going on. I've never seen a model look so sloppy in my life."

"Have you completely given up on life?" Kelsi questioned.

Gabriella rolled her eyes, "No, I haven't given up on life."

"Are you sure? Because from where I'm standing, it looks like it."

Gabriella sat down, "Troy knows about me and Ian."

"So, when did you tell him?"

"Last week. He came here and found my engagement ring, so I had to tell him."

"Everything?" Sharpay asked, shocked. She knew how much of a touchy subject this was for Gabriella.

"I tried, but he wouldn't let me. He stormed out of here before I could explain. We haven't spoken in a few days."

Sharpay gave Gabriella a sympathetic look, "Aw, sweetie. I'm sorry."

"What can we do to help? How many bad names do we have to call Troy for you to feel better?" Taylor asked, raising her eyebrows mischievously.

"You can't say anything bad because it isn't his fault."

Kelsi gave Gabriella a pat on the shoulder, "Ok, why don't you take a shower and tell us all about it. No offense, but you look horrible."

"Thanks."

"You want to tell us what happened?" Sharpay questioned, passing a bowl of popcorn to Gabriella.

Gabriella shook her head and grabbed a handful of popcorn. "There isn't much to say." She stuffed the popcorn into her mouth. "He hates me."

"He doesn't hate you."

"Yes he does." Gabriella cried. She tucked her knees into her chest. "I'm a mess."

"How much alcohol did we give her?" Lola whispered.

"I'm just a horrible girlfriend. I've fucked up every relationship I've ever been. Michael, Dante, Ian, Troy. They have all gone down the drain."

"Well at least you still talk to Ian."

"Of course. I love Ian. He's my friend and the only ex who still likes me."

"Did you and Troy even really break up? Or are you being a drama queen?"

Gabriella scoffed at the questioned. "He sure didn't say we were still together." She grabbed her wine glass and took a sip.

Lola took the wine glass out of Gabriella's hand, "No more for you. You're on water for the rest of the night."

Gabriella glared at her sister, "You force me to have "fun", but you decide to take away my one source of happiness at the moment."

"I'm doing this because I care about you."

"Be glad its not vodka because I would have slapped you by now."

"You're threats mean nothing to me."

Taylor reached over Gabriella's nightstand and grabbed her old engagement ring. "What are you going to do with this?"

"What do you mean?"

"Are you keeping this ring?"

Gabriella nodded, "Yes."

Taylor shook her head, "Wrong answer."

Gabriella grabbed the ring, "I can't just give it away, or sell it. Its mine."

"You have no use for it." Taylor argued.

"Its not a cheap ring I got from Claire's." Gabriella said, defensively. "It holds too many memories."

"Gabriella, almost everything you had from Stanford, you've either burned it or given it to contradict yourself."

"Ian and I had a lot of good memories. Our engagement was actually happy at one point."

"But the relationship ended two and half years ago. You're holding on to something you don't need."

"No I'm not."

"Then, why are you still holding on to the ring?" Kelsi asked. "You don't still have feelings for him do you?"

"Oh no! He has a fiance and I have feelings for Troy."

Lola let out a sigh of relief, "Ok good. So why are you still holding on?"

Gabriella twirled the ring around in her hand, "I guess I'm still trying to hold on to something good. My engagement to Ian wasn't completely horrible. We had goals and plans and everything was going to work out fine."

"Gabs, you can't map out your entire life."

"I know that! But things were fine. I was fine. Ian and I were going to finish school a year early. I was moving in with him. We both had jobs. And in the blink of an eye, everything was gone. So maybe this ring is the only good thing I have with me. Its sort of like a security blanket, for a 24 year old woman."

Taylor frowned. Now she felt bad. "I'm sorry, G."

"Why? You're right about the ring. I'll have to give it up, eventually."

Sharpay took the ring from Gabriella, "We aren't even going to think about this right now. You need to focus on the bigger task at hand."

"What would that be?"

"Winning Troy back." Sharpay answered."Use that noggin, Gabriella."

"I don't want to think about that, either."

"Well what do you want to think about?"

"Nothing. Which can happen if I drink enough." Gabriella started to get back up when Lola pulled her back down.

"No more wine."

Gabriella let out an amused snort, "I was going to get something much stronger."

"No."

"Its getting late. Why don't we just pop in a movie?"

Gabriella laid against her pillow in defeat. She didn't realize how tired she was until then. She closed her eyes. "Ok."

Kelsi smiled, "Great. I'll find us something."

Gabriella wasn't even paying attention. The alcohol was taking over. She just wanted to go to sleep.

"Hi." Ian greeted, noticing Gabriella is now awake.

Gabriella groaned in pain as she tried to move. Her head was spinning and her whole body had a numb feeling. "Hey."

"How are you feeling?" Ian asked.

Gabriella turned to Ian, "I'm a little nauseous." She smiled. "But I've felt like that everyday for the past 13 weeks."

Ian's chest tightened. This would probably be the last time he saw her smile for a while. "Anything else?"

"I'm a little sore, but I have this numb aching feeling." Gabriella told him. She looked around the room. "Am I in the hospital?"

Ian nodded, "Yeah. You're in the hospital."

"Why?"

"You were at your apartment and you tripped on the stairs and you fell." Ian explained. "You have a minor concussion."

A look of horror spread across Gabriella's face, "Oh my God. Am I ok?"

"Yeah. The doctors want to keep you overnight, though."

"Ok." Gabriella put her hand over her stomach. "How's the baby?"

Ian momentarily froze. How was he going to do this? "Gabi..."

"What's wrong?" Gabriella asked, picking up on Ian's hesitation. "Is the baby alright?"

Ian shook his head, "No. The baby isn't ok."

"What's wrong?"

"The baby's gone." Ian whispered, trying to reach for Gabriella's hand.

Gabriella pulled her hand back, "What?"

"The baby is gone." Ian repeated.

Gabriella stared at Ian, trying to find some sign of him lying. He had to be lying. "What are you talking about? My baby is fine."

"You fell on your stomach." Ian said. "The doctor said you had abdominal trauma or something like that and you were losing blood."

"You're lying." Gabriella said, sitting herself up. "You're lying to me."

"I'm not lying." Ian argued. He tried to touch Gabriella again, but she hit him.

"Don't touch me!" Gabriella yelled. "Where's my baby? Is the baby somewhere in the NICU?"

"Gabriella, you weren't far along enough for them to perform a c-section."

Gabriella ran her trembling hands through her hair. She felt like her chest was going to explode. "Where's the doctor?"

Ian shrugged, "She just left."

"I want her to give me an ultrasound."

Ian sighed. This was much harder than he thought it would be. He grabbed Gabriella's hand, "Sweetie, they aren't going to give you an ultrasound."

"This has to be a mistake." Gabriella announced, shaking her head. "They made a mistake. Maybe because I was unconscious, they couldn't find a heartbeat."

"It's not a mistake."

"It has to be. Doctors aren't perfect." Gabriella said, ignoring Ian's words. "They could be overlooking something. I might still be pregnant."

"Gabriella, you aren't. I saw the doctors take you in here to perform the operation. I forget what its called."

Gabriella's eyes widened, "What?"

"They had to. The doctors couldn't wait any longer. It was too dangerous."

"So you let them take my baby? Our baby?"

Ian cringed at the heartbreak in her voice. "Gabriella, you were in critical condition. The doctors did the best they could to..."

"Don't say it!" Gabriella barked. "Their best wasn't good enough because if it was, I'd still be pregnant."

"I'm sorry."

Gabriella tried to get up, but Ian grabbed her. "Let me go!"

"Where are you going?"

"I can't stay in this room." Gabriella said, trying to get out of the bed. "I need to get out of here. Let me go."

"You can't go anywhere. You are in no position to leave this room."

"Ian, I feel like I'm about to have a panic attack. Get me out of here." Gabriella pleaded.

"Why, so you can pass out in the hallway?" Ian shook his head. "Lay back down."

Gabriella's fist curled into a tight ball. She turned around and started punching Ian in the chest. Her hand hurt, but she didn't care. Pain felt better than the empty void in the pit of her stomach.

After the exhaustion of hitting Ian came over her, Gabriella stopped. She would have kept going, but she had no more energy. She put her face in his chest in defeat.

"Relax." Ian ordered gently.

Gabriella closed her eyes. "I didn't get to say goodbye. My baby will never know how much I wanted him or her."

"We can have another baby." Ian suggested.

"So you want to just replace our baby with another one?" Gabriella asked, disgusted by Ian's suggestion. "It was a baby not a lightbulb, Ian!"

"I'm not saying that. But we can always try again."

Gabriella dug her nails into one of her arms. The physical pain still wasn't enough to distract her from the emotional pain that just came on full force. "I don't give a damn about any other babies. I wanted this one."

Ian's heart broke at the sight of his fiancé's face. "I know you did. Me too."

"I wish our baby knew how much I wanted him or her." Gabriella spoke, quietly. She pulled at her hair in frustration. She hated feeling weak and powerless.

"Maybe crying will help." Ian suggested, rubbing Gabriella's back.

Gabriella pushed herself off of Ian, "I don't want to cry. I won't be able to stop crying if I start."

"You need to grieve."

"You don't think I'm grieving? Come any closer and you might hear my heart breaking."

Gabriella gasped and shot up out of her bed in a cold sweat. She started hyperventilating and choking.

Lola, who was right next to her, got up too. "Gabriella are you ok?"

Gabriella, unable to speak, shook her head. She put her head in between her legs to calm herself down, but it wasn't working. Her head was throbbing and her throat felt like it was on fire, as if she had been screaming.

Taylor grabbed a bottle of water that was sitting on Gabriella's nightstand. She handed it to her. "Can you breathe?" Gabriella nodded. "Ok, do you need your inhaler?" Gabriella shook her head.

Gabriella untwisted the bottle cap and took a sip of the water. Once her breathing pattern was normal again, she spoke. "I'm fine."

"Are you alright?" Lola asked, concern written all over her face.

"Yeah." Gabriella replied. "I just had a bad dream."

"It looked like you were about to have a panic attack a second ago."

Gabriella rolled her eyes, "Guys, it's ok. I'm ok."

"You can't lie to us. Your voice gives you away."

Stupid fast talking. Gabriella sighed. "Look guys, I'm fine. There is just a lot on my mind."

"You want to talk?"

Gabriella stood up and looked down at herself. A pair of sweat pants and t-shirt with Rihanna's face on it. Good enough. "I'll be back."

Sharpay looked at the digital clock sitting on the nightstand, "It's three in the morning, hon. Where the hell are you going?"

Gabriella grabbed her car keys. "Don't worry. I'll be back."

"Are you in any position to drive? You were drinking a couple hours ago."

Gabriella pushes past her sister, "I didn't go on a tequila binge, Dr. Phil. I'm fine. I will be back soon."

Once Gabriella makes it downstairs to the parking garage, she spots her Range Rover. She let out a sigh.

"Where's my mom?" Gabriella asked.

"She's in the waiting room with your dad." Ian replied.

"Can you get her, please? I want to see her."

Ian nodded and stood up, "Yeah. I'll be right back." He walked out of the room.

Gabriella rested her head against her pillow and closed her eyes. She was exhausted. She wanted to just wake up and forget this nightmare. The sad thing was, it was her reality.

She put her hand on her stomach. Nothing. She hadn't been far along enough to feel a kick, but she could always feel some type of movement. Now, in a matter of hours, there was nothing.

Gabriella looked up when she heard heels clicking against the floor. Her mother was standing in the doorway.

"Hi." Gabriella greeted.

Cristina walked into the room and sat down in the chair next to Gabriella's bed. She didn't know what she was supposed to say. What could she say?

Luckily, Gabriella spoke up, "Can you and daddy finish moving my stuff into Ian's apartment?"

Cristina was taken back by the question. "Uh s...sure."

"I can't be in there right now." Gabriella explained. "Too much bad karma."

"Are you alright?" Cristina asked. She groaned as soon as the question came out. "I'm sorryfor that really dumb question."

Gabriella tugged at her hair. She had been doing that for the past hour now. Sooner or later, she was going to have a chunk of hair missing from her scalp. "I'm just...I don't know. I'm a bit of everything."

Cristina nodded in understandment, even though she couldn't relate. She'd never know what her daughter was feeling.

"What kind of life is worth living if I can't have my baby? A baby that I wanted so badly. 15 year old potheads who don't give a damn can have kids, but mine gets taken away from me?" Gabriella had so much anger and spite in her tone, Crisina flinched.

Cristina grabbed Gabriella's hand. "I don't have any answers for you. And I wish I did, because it's killing me seeing you so upset."

Gabriella pulled her hand out of her mother's. She didn't want anyone touching her. "I dont know why I'm so upset. I'm the one who fell. It's my fault."

"Don't say that." Cristina ordered. "You did nothing wrong so don't start beating yourself up."

"But it's true. What was I thinking? I shouldn't have been carrying boxes up and down a flight of stairs, in the first place."

"I know it would be easier to blame it on someone or something. It would take the pain away, even for just a second, but you can't."

Gabriella blinked back her tears. She was not about to cry. "I guess you're right."

Cristina noticed her daughter's evident frustration at herself. "You can cry."

Gabriella shook her head, "Nope. I'm not going to allow myself to cry over a baby I knew about for just a couple months."

"Wether you were 6 months or 2, it was still your baby. You're allowed to cry and scream and kick as much as you want to."

Gabriella ignored her mother. She wasn't going to be any more vulnerable than she already was. And crying never solved anyone's problems.

"I'm fine." Gabriella reassured. She didnt know who she was trying to convince. Her mother or herself.

Gabriella slammed on her brakes so hard, she thought she'd fly forward. She looked up. She was finally at her destination.

As she got out of her car and started walking up the steps to the house, Gabriella almost turned around. Maybe this wasn't a good idea.

Bullshit.Gabriella thought. She rang the doorbell a few times. She had to talk to someone or her head will explode.

"Go awa...Gabriella? What are you doing here?" Ian asked, opening his door. "It's almost 4 A.M.."

"Can I come in?" Gabriella asked.

Ian stepped aside, "Ok." Gabriella stepped inside the house.

"This place is nice." Gabriella said, looking around.

"Thanks. It was a gift for completing my master's program at Stan...why are you here?"

Gabriella was about to reply when she saw someone walk into the living room. She was tall, had light brown hair and really big hazel eyes. It must have been Ian's fiancé.

"Ian, what's going on?"

"Hi. I'm Gabriella. I'm really sorry for showing up at your home at 3 in the morning."

"Jacqueline, this is Gabriella, my ex. Gabriella, this is my fiancé, Jacqueline." Ian introduced.

"Hi." Jacqueline greeted. "It's nice to meet you."

Gabriella smiled, "Likewise."

"Gabriella, what did you want?" Ian asked, remind Gabriella of her purpose for showing up.

"I've been having a really, really bad week and I needed to talk to someone, so here I am."

"Jacque, can you make some coffee?" Ian asked, turning around.

Jacqueline nodded, "Ok." She walked into the kitchen.

Gabriella frowned, "You don't have anything stronger? Like tequila? Or vodka?"

Ian rolled his eyes. She was still the same Gabriella. "Sit down, Gabs."

Gabriella sat down on the couch. "I'm sorry for showing up like this."

Ian shrugged, "It's fine."

"No it isn't. I just really needed to talk to someone. And you were the only person I could think of."

"What's wrong?"

"I told my boyfriend-or ex-boyfriend-about us." Gabriella answered. "And now he hates me."

"What? Thats crazy?"

"He hates me."

"No one could hate you." Ian argued. "You're too nice."

"And I don't blame him." Gabriella rambled. "How would you feel if Jacqueline told you she was engaged and had been pregnant?"

"I'd be shocked, but I wouldn't hate her." Ian replied. "When you love someone, you look past their flaws and issues."

"I don't even know if he loves me. We never talked about it."

"He must have cared for you. He had to."

Gabriella sighed, "Was it this hard for you?"

"What?"

"My miscarriage. Or dealing with it. Was it hard?"

Ian nodded, "Yeah."

"I know I didn't pay attention to your feelings and I'm sorry. I was so caught up in my own grief, I shut you out."

"I know it was harder for you, even though you'd never admit it. And it killed me inside."

"Really?"

"Seeing you so...broken. I couldn't help you. I couldn't make you laugh, or smile anymore."

Gabriella stayed silent. She never realized how much Ian was hurt, too,

Ian sighed, "I remember the day you came home from the hospital. You sat in the spare room we were going to turn into the nursery." Ian started. Talking was going to be harder than je thought. "We had all of your sonogram pictures tacted up on the wall and you ripped them all down. You punched a hole in the wall. And I couldn't comfort you. I couldn't make the pain go away for you. I just had to watch you."

Gabriella felt tears forming in her eyes. She remembered that day way too vividly. Like it was yesterday.

She groaned, "I don't know why I'm so upset right now. I'm fine. I accepted the fact that I wasnt a mother nor was I going to be."

"You didn't give yourself time to be upset. You pushed your feelings away. I think I saw you tear up once."

"You're right, Lola's right, everyone is right. I ran away. As soon as I got my diploma, I was back in San Diego then I came out here and I haven't looked back. It was a lot easier."

Ian held up his hands and shrugged, "I don't blame you. I went back to New York. The thought of staying in that apartment in Palo Alto made me sick."

Gabriella looked at the coffee Jacqueline sat down on the table. "I'm sorry for dumping this all on you. I'm a mess right now."

Ian nodded in agreement. "Yeah. But you're my friend and you'll always be my friend. We went through a lot, so don't be afriad to talk to me. Just not at 3 A.M."

"I'll send you a BBM." Gabriella joked.

Ian scoffed, "Step you're game up, Montez. It's time for an iPhone."

"No way. My BlackBerry takes better pictures."

They fell into a comfortable silence. They hadn't been this calm around each other in a long time. It felt good.

"So, are you going to talk to Troy?" Ian questioned, breaking the silence.

"He doesn't want to talk to me." Gabriella replied, sadly. "I'm giving him space."

"Guys are simple minded. You have to tell us what we want because we won't figure it out on our own."

"I can't force him to talk to me."

Ian scoffed, "You've gone soft. You used to boss me around all the time."

"Because you did everything I told you to do. It was too easy."

"You were just so manipulative."

Gabriella took a sip of her coffee. "If Troy told me he had a love child or something, I would be pissed, too. And confused."

"He still should talk to you. What does shutting someone out ever do?"

"It gives a person time to think."

"Are you justifying his actions?" Ian asked, shocked. "You're letting him walk away. You're giving up."

Gabriella frowned at Ian's choice of words. She wasn't giving up on anything. Gabriella Montez did not give up. "If I had given up, I wouldn't be here right now, talking to you."

"Well put your big girl panties on, and talk to him, not me. You should be at Troy's place right now. Save the tears and get him back, if your relationship is worth fighting for."

Gabriella closed her eyes. She had to give Ian credit. He wasn't babying her like her sister and friends were. She needed someone to tell her to get her shit together.

She turned to Ian, "You're right." She hadn't noticed that she started crying again, until she felt tears falling onto her hands. "God, I'm like a leaking faucet."

Ian's face softened and he frowned, "I'm sorry. I didn't mean to make you cry."

"It's ok. It isnt your fault or anything. Ive just been really emotional lately."

"You're making up for years of not crying."

Gabriella laughed, "That makes sense. You know how much I despise crying."

"I remember."

"Thank you for talking to me. I honestly felt like I was going to lose my mind."

"No prolem. I should have majored in psychology instead of pre-law. I'm good."

Gabriella laughed, "Stick to law."

"Don't you dare make fun of my people skills."

"Well I'm the one with the degree in psychology, not you, so shut up."

Ian yawned, "I have a lot more people skills than you do."

"I should go." Gabriella stood up. "You're tired."

"Yeah. I have to be at work in 4 hours."

"Thanks again for talking to me."

"Your welcome." Ian stood up and pulled Gabriella in for a hug. "You smell like mangoes and tequila."

"Margaritas."

"No vodka?" Ian joked.

Gabriella shook her head, "Not tonight. You know I like to switch things up a bit."

"I'm going to hire you to be the bartender at my wedding."

"Perfect."

"What are you doing?" Lola asked, walking into Gabriella's room.

"Debating on wether or not I should call Troy." Gabriella answered, staring at her phone.

"Call him."

Gabriella dropped her phone back onto her bed, "I'm scared."

Lola sat on Gabriella's bed, "Where did you go this morning?"

"I went to Ian's house. I met his fiancé. She's like a Miranda Kerr with hazel eyes. Ian has good taste in women."

"She didn't curse you out for showing up to her home at 3 A.M?" Lola asked, incredulous.

"No. She made me coffee. Ian found himself a keeper."

"What did you guys talk about?"

"Me and Troy." Gabriella said. "He said I should talk to him."

"When are you going to?"

Gabriella shrugged, "I don't know." She picked a big stuffed teddy bear and showed it to Lola. "Remember this?"

Lola nodded, "Yeah. Didn't I buy it for you?"

"When I told you I was pregnant, you gave it to me."

"I told Angelo I was going to be the cool one."

"Can you imagine me with a kid?

Lola nodded, "Yeah. You'd be a good mom."

"Really?"

"Totally. You're great with kids."

"I don't know. The thought of being a mom freaks me the fuck out."

"You'd be great. And I'd be an even better aunt."

Gabriella smiled, "Ok."

Lola looked at her watch, "I have to go. I have class soon. Bye."

"Bye." Gabriella watched Lola leave. Once she was gone, she picked her phone back up and pressed number 2.

"Hello?"

"Troy, it me."

"Hey Gabriella." Troy greeted. "What's up?"

"I need to see you. We need to talk."

Gosh, I finally finished. It feels like it took me a year to write this. Anyway read and review! xoxo :)