CHAPTER 11 - CHRISTMAS

Buffy's cheeks glowed with happiness as we stepped out into the chilly December air, my arms laden with shopping bags from just about every shop on this street.

"Can you take this one too?" Buffy asked, handing me yet another one.

"If I had a third arm maybe," I joked, but managed to grab the bag anyway.

"Thank you, honey."

"That's what boyfriends are for, right?"

"I've taught you so well," Buffy said with a smile.

"So is there going to be anything left in the stores after we finish?"

Buffy stopped when we came to the end of the sidewalk and smiled at me. "I know it's a lot, but I'm just so happy this Christmas. I want everyone to be as happy as we are."

"I don't know if that's possible."

"No?"

I shook my head. "No, not a chance. There's no one in the world that could be as happy as us."

Buffy laughed, and I leaned forward to kiss her.

People began crossing the sidewalk, and Buffy and I pulled away and hustled across the street before traffic began moving again.

"Okay, I know I went a little overboard with the gifts, and yeah, it's going to put a major dent in my banking account, but it's Christmas. It's the season of giving."

"Well don't spend too much on me. In fact, you don't have to get anything for me at all. Having you alone is present enough."

Buffy stopped in her tracks and stared at me, jaw dropped. "Oh no, that's not going to work! There's no way I'm buying all this for my family and friends and leaving out my boyfriend!"

"Okay, then just get me one present then. That'll be enough."

Buffy was about to protest, but something over my shoulder seemed to distract her. "That woman over there. Something's wrong with her."

As I turned around, I saw the woman standing over a stroller. She looked weak and disoriented, and as she began to fall to the ground, I dropped the shopping bags and caught her just before she hit the sidewalk.

Buffy rushed over to us. "Oh my god! Is she okay?"

"She unconscious. Call 911."

While Buffy reached for the phone in her purse, I gently eased the woman down to the ground beside the stroller. The woman, probably just a little older than Buffy herself, began to awake. She stared at me for a moment, looking confused. "What happened?"

"You fainted. Are you alright?"

"I…I don't know. My baby." Her eyes roamed until they settled upon the stroller next to her.

I glanced into the stroller, seeing the sleeping bundle wrapped up in pink, fast asleep. "She's fine. I'm more concerned about you."

"The ambulance is coming," Buffy announced, kneeling down next to us. "Are you okay?"

The woman slowly nodded. "I…I think so. But this has been happening a lot."

We waited with the panicked woman, who seemed more concerned about her baby than anything, until the ambulance arrived a few minutes later. The noise from the sirens woke the baby up though, and she screamed and hollered.

"A healthy set of lungs on that kid," Buffy said, holding her hands over her ears.

"My baby…"

I gave the woman a reassuring squeeze on her hand. "Don't worry. I've got your baby."

As the paramedics went to work checking the woman's vitals, I scooped the screaming baby into my arms. I swayed her gently, and without even realizing it, I began to sing to her.

Too-ra-loo-ra-loo-ral, Too-ra-loo-ra-li,
Too-ra-loo-ra-loo-ral, hush now, don't you cry!
Too-ra-loo-ra-loo-ral, Too-ra-loo-ra-li,
Too-ra-loo-ra-loo-ral, that's an Irish lullaby.

And just like that, the baby fell back asleep.

Buffy sidled up next to me, a smile on her face. "Wow, I didn't know you knew how to do that," she whispered.

"Yeah, me neither."

Buffy looked down at the baby, and another smile spread across her face. "You must be a natural with children."

Seeing the look on Buffy's face, a thought suddenly came to mind. I realized that one day, I could be holding a baby that was ours. There was nothing in the world stopping us from having a family of our own someday.

I couldn't wait for it.

It had started off as normal day. Normal for Astoria anyway. I hadn't really paid attention to how long I'd been in this world, though longer than I wanted to, that was for sure. Of course, Althea and Roman as well as their children had welcomed me into their home, but it made me long for the family I wanted to share with Buffy. I even missed Cordy and Doyle too.

Curious, I glance at the calendar, and I couldn't believe what day it was. "I can't believe it."

"Can't believe what?" Myles asks, looking up at me. Andromeda too had stopped reading to Serena and was staring at me.

"I just…didn't realize what day it was."

"Sunday?" Myles asks.

"No. I mean, yeah, it's Sunday. But it will be Christmas tomorrow."

"What's Christmas?" Andromeda asks.

"It's a holiday in my world. People bring trees into their houses and put all kinds of silly decorations and lights on them. They decorate the house too. And then everyone exchanges gifts. But mostly, it's about being with the ones you love."

"I'm sorry you can't be home. I know you miss it," Andromeda says.

Serena moves to sit next to me on the couch and rests her head on my arm.

"What else do you do on Christmas?" Myles asks.

"Well, different families do different things. Some like to gather around and sing Christmas songs. Some like to make cookies."

"I like cookies," Serena says softly.

I wrap my arm around the child, hugging her close. "Most people do. My girlfriend back at home, she loves Christmas."

"What other kinds of decorations do they have?" Andromeda asks.

"Lights. Lot of lights strung everywhere. And wreathes. The ornaments are all different. Some are colored glass balls. Some are in the shapes of objects. Some people even put candy canes on the leaves of the tree."

"You put candy on a tree?" Myles asks, wide-eyed with the prospect of a candy tree.

"Yeah. Well, some people do."

"We can't have peppermint sticks anymore," Andromeda says. "We can't have any candy really."

"The bad guys took it away," Myles says.

"We had a little stash of it, and Mother would let us have a piece on special occasions. But that ran out."

"You know, I didn't have much in the way of candy either when I was your age."

Myles tilts his head in confusion. "Why not?"

"Well, for one, there really wasn't much candy around when I was a kid. And even if there was, we couldn't really afford it. Once in a while, we would get to have some honey though."

Andromeda smiles. "I like honey."

I feel a tug on my sleeve and look down to see Serena gazing up at me.

"Yes, Serena?"

She doesn't answer, but instead, walks across the room and takes the lid off of an antique tea cup. Apparently something had been hidden there, and she takes it and walks back over to me.

"What do you have there?"

Serena places a piece of red candy into the palm of my hand. "I hid it," she says proudly.

"Is this for me?"

Serena nods. "Now you can have some candy too."

"Thank you, Serena, but I want you to keep it. Save it for a day when you really need a piece of candy. And whenever I make the bad guys go away, there will be lots of candy again. I promise."

Serena throws her little arms around me, and before I know it, Andromeda and Myles are hugging me too.

In our living room, Mom has put up our Christmas tree. It's small and void of decorations, which makes it look sad. Next to getting presents, getting a tree was usually my favorite part of Christmas. And now, it's just another thing that makes me miss Angel even more.

"There," I said, putting the final touches on Angel's Christmas tree. I insisted he had to have at least a little decoration at his apartment in L.A., even if it was just a small Charlie Brown tree. "Do you like it?"

Angel gave me a smile and walked over to me. "It looks very…festive," he said, then kissed me.

"You know, in another hour or so, it'll be Christmas Day. It's practically already Christmas."

"You want to open your present now, don't you?"

"Uh-huh."

Angel laughed. "Alright, let's sit down."

I placed a pillow from the couch on the floor and sat down by the tree. Angel joined me and placed a wrapped present into my lap.

"Merry Christmas."

"Ooo, I wonder what it could be!" I gave the box a shake. "Hmm, lightweight, no sound. I bet it's something soft. Clothing?"

"Open it up and see."

I tore into the delicately wrapped present and opened the box. Inside underneath several layers of tissue paper was a white cashmere sweater, the very one I had been ogling over at the mall last week and hinting not so subtly that it would be a great Christmas present for me.

"Oh my god! You got the sweater!"

"You said that was what you wanted."

I held the sweater against me and ran my hands against the soft material. "Oh, thank you! You're the best boyfriend ever. You know that?"

Angel laughed again. "Here, I got you something else." Angel pulled out a smaller box from under the tree and handed it to me.

"You got me a second present? But, Angel, we agreed on a one present limit!"

"I know, but I saw this while I was shopping and I had to get it for you too. And really, it's more of a present for me than it is for you."

I raised an eyebrow at him, wondering what that statement could mean. "Okay." I tore off the wrapping paper and uncovered a box. Inside was more tissue paper, and underneath it all, a negligee. A very tiny negligee. I lifted it out of the box by the teeny tiny straps. "Oh my. This thing is practically see-though."

Angel grinned. "That's the point."

I laughed. "Okay, now I know why you didn't want to spend Christmas at my mother's."

"Yeah, can you imagine the look on Joyce's face if she saw me giving you that?"

I held the negligee up to me and looked down at it. "Hey, do you think if I wear this tonight, Santa will put me on his naughty list?"

"Does that mean you like it?"

"I love it. But…I can't guarantee I'll wear it for very long."

"Well that's the fun part. Taking it off and seeing what's underneath."

"But this one's see-though! There's no surprises!"

Angel laughed. "I know, but it'll still look sexy on you."

I rolled my eyes. "Okay, open yours!" I put the negligee aside and handed Angel his present.

Angel delicately peeled the wrapping paper away, unlike me who usually tore into it. Finally, he uncovered what was underneath.

"A cooking book."

"I thought you could use one."

He smiled as he flipped through the book. "How did you know this is exactly what I wanted?"

"Well, it wasn't hard to figure out. You're always poking around in the kitchen, and you seem to know your way around it. Which is amazing really since you spent over two hundred years as a vampire and didn't eat human food at all. I thought you could, you know, try out some new recipes. You do like to eat."

"I love it. This is perfect."

"This is also more of a present for me than it is for you."

"Oh yeah?"

"Yeah. You cook the food, and I get to eat it."

"Well how about this? I'll cook us a meal from this book one night, and you can wear that sexy negligee."

"Ooo, dinner and dessert, huh?"

"Exactly," Angel whispered as he leaned forward to kiss me.

I'll Be Home For Christmas, arguably the most depressing song on this CD, plays in the background as I sit on the couch looking through a photo album.

"I found the Christmas decorations!" Mom announces, walking into the living room with a box full of ornaments and lights. "They were in the basement under a box of clothing for goodwill I forgot to take."

When I don't say anything, Mom puts the box down and sits down next to me, putting her arm around me like she always does when she knows I'm feeling sad. "Oh, honey, I know you miss Angel."

"I don't even want anything for Christmas this year. Except for him to come home of course."

"Well, you never know. Maybe there'll be a Christmas miracle."

I have my doubts, only because I don't want to get my hopes up.

"When was this picture taken?" Mom asks, pointing to one of the photos in the album.

"Last year. We went out for sushi. Angel had never had sushi before. He liked it."

Mom flipped the page in the album.

"That's us at the park. We had a picnic. It was a little chilly that day but the sun was shining bright. Angel loved to sit out in the sun, since you know, he couldn't before."

Mom flipped the page again.

"Angel didn't know I was taking that picture. I just liked to watch him read."

That was the last picture, and Mom closed the album. "Just hold on to these memories," she tells me. "I'm sure one day, you'll be able to fill this album with more. Do you want some hot cocoa?"

I nod. "With lots of marshmallows?"

"It wouldn't be hot cocoa without them."

Mom kisses me on the forehead, then heads to the kitchen. I open the photo album back up and flip to the sushi picture again.

"Come home for Christmas, Angel."

A tugging on my arm brings me out of a restless sleep. Cracking my eyes open, I find Serena's little blue head eye to eye with me. Andromeda and Myles stand behind her.

"Wake up, Angel!" Andromeda says.

"We have a surprise for you!" Myles adds.

Serena tugs on my arm again.

I can't help but smile at their excitement. "Alright, give me a few minutes."

Five minutes later, I make my way down the hall. The children are gathered in the living room, and when they see me, they all rush over and tug on my arm, pulling me into the room to show me their surprise.

"It's Christmas, Angel!" Andromeda says.

Over the window is a small bush, one I recognize from their backyard. Pink and blue lights decorate the bush-tree along with paper doll cutouts and a string of what looks like confetti of all different colors and sizes.

"We made a tree!" Myles says.

"Wow, it looks great! Where did you get the lights from?"

"Mom let us use them. We hang those lights outside during our festivals," Andromeda says. "And the decorations Myles and I made."

Serena makes a sound in frustration at her sister.

"Oh, and Serena helped too!"

"That's not all," Myles says, walking over to the tree and pointing underneath. "We have presents!"

Underneath the tree, three wrapped presents, one from each of them I presume. "You kids didn't have to go through all this trouble."

"But we wanted to, Angel!" Andromeda says, beaming at me.

"Open mine first!" Myles says as he picks up a small box wrapped in newspaper.

I sit down on the couch and take the box from him. "Wow, I wonder what this could be."

"You'll like it," Myles promises as I began to tear the paper.

Inside the box nestled among some more newspaper is a small object, and upon further inspection, I realize it's a pocket knife. "A pocket knife? Myles, where did you get this? Does this belong to your father?"

"No. Well, I asked Papa what to get you and he gave that to me. He said I could give it to you. Papa says that every man should have a good pocket knife. You never know when you're going to need it."

"Well that is very wise. Thank you very much, Myles."

"Okay, open mine next," Andromeda says, handing me the rectangular box.

It feels lightweight and fragile, and when I move away the layers of tissue paper, I find a frame nestled inside. A sketch of Buffy lies just beneath the glass.

"I thought a picture that beautiful deserved a frame. It's an old frame. I found it in the basement. I hope you don't mind that I tore that picture out of your sketch pad.

"I didn't even notice. Thank you, Andromeda. It's perfect. I'll put it right beside my bed."

"Yeah! And then you can see Buffy every day!"

Serena hands me her present next, and I can tell she wrapped it herself. The wrapping paper is loosely taped around what appears to be a stuffed animal. When I unwrap the gift, I realize I'm right.

"It's Fuzzy Bunny," Serena says.

I've seen Serena holding this stuffed bunny like a security blanket. The fact that she wants me to have it is surprising. "Serena, are you sure you want to give me Fuzzy Bunny?"

Serena nods. "Yeah, you can have him. When people are lonely, Fuzzy Bunny makes you feel not lonely anymore. He's a good friend."

The heart of this very young girl amazes me. "Tell you what. I'll borrow Fuzzy Bunny for a while. But if you ever miss him, you can have him back, okay?"

Serena nods. "Okay."

"You three are amazing."

"We wanted you to have a good Christmas," Andromeda explains.

And despite the constant ache in my heart, a smile spreads across my face.