Summary: Will Grissom forgive Sara so she can more on or will she be forced to stay trapped on earth forever?
Disclaimer: See chapter 1.
A/N: Sorry times infinity plus one. I'm sorry to say that I have been so busy that I actually forgot about this story, but now I am finishing it. Thanks to everyone who has patiently waited and stuck with me. This is the last chapter. I hope that y'all enjoyed reading it as much as I enjoyed writing it. This was my first chapter story and I hope I did well on it. Please leave one last review.
Chapter 11: Light or Limbo?
I sit at my grave, contemplating what I am going to do. I can't go back to the lab, back to Grissom. If he can't forgive me, there is no way I am going to spend eternity around him and that place.
Now, as I stare at my headstone, instead of being slightly angered, I am furious that he did not cremate me. That is what I told him I wanted. After Jim was shot, we sat down and made out our wills and talked about what we wanted when it came to dying. I specifically told him I wanted to be cremated; to be dust in the wind. But, what's done is done.
I can't believe he didn't forgive me and let me move on. I was sure he would. But, tearing the lab up was quite fun. It was a great way to release my anger. I've always…
"Hey." A guy interrupts my thoughts. He is a little tall, with jet black messy hair and a slight 5 o'clock shadow. He sits down beside me and that's when I realize he's not dead.
"You can see me?" I ask him.
"Yep. It's a gift and a curse. Name's Gabriel by the way. I take it you're Sara Sidle?" He tells me gesturing towards my headstone.
"Yeah." I respond. So, what's this guy going to want?
"So, what are you still doing here? Looks like you died over a year ago."
"I needed to get my boyfriend's forgiveness before I left. It just took me a while to find someone to help me. And now he refuses to. He just can't understand that it wasn't my choice." I tell him, tears threatening to fall.
"You know, you don't have to crossover. You can stay here with the rest of us and have a better afterlife." He informs me.
"What!? There is no way I can do that. She said I needed to. That it is what we are supposed to do when we die. I can't stay here. It doesn't even feel right." I explain to him. There is no way I can stay here. This limbo just doesn't feel right. I have never felt more at peace than when I saw the light right after I died. Now I just feel confused and…I don't know what exactly.
"Who? Melinda Gordon?" He asks and all I do is nod and wrap my arms around my legs. "That's what she does best. Tricks you into believing that it's all good and peaceful and happy, happy, joy, joy on the other side of the light, but it's not."
"How do you know? You're not dead."
"Neither is Melinda. She's never been there. She is a master of deceiving and getting people to do what she wants. She gets people to say things to souls that they don't really mean, just to get them to crossover so she can sleep well at night."
"No! She isn't like that. Melinda wouldn't do that." I yell at him. Jim may be an ass, but Melinda would never lie like that. I don't believe him.
"Yes she would and she does. Besides, your boyfriend will never forgive you." Did he just say that? I've had enough of him.
"He will too. I know him. He's just…angry. He just needs more time. Hopefully she will talk to him more and convince him, but he will forgive me. I know he will."
"She will tell him to say what you want to hear, so she can go home and feel good about herself."
"NO!!" I scream. I stand up. I can feel my anger coming back. At least there is no glass around here to shatter, but there is concrete and trees. "She wouldn't do that. Gil will forgive me. I don't believe you. I--"
I'm cut off by someone yelling my name. It sounds so distant. Melinda! She is yelling for me.
"I have to go. Don't ever come near me again. That's if there ever is an again." I tell him and follow the voice of Melinda.
Next thing I know, I am standing in the middle of the crime lab, right on the mess I made previously, whenever that was.
"She's here." Melinda says, and I turn around to see the relieved faces of the team: Gil, Catherine, Greg, Nick, and Brass, with the lab rats standing by, but out of the way.
"What's going on?" I ask, looking back at Melinda, confused as to why this is happening, since Gil made it so clear that he cannot forgive me.
"I talked to Gil some more after you left a few hours ago. He has realized that it was not your fault and that he can forgive you."
"Really?" I ask and Melinda nods. "Thank you." I say as tears come to my eyes.
"Yes, he and the others have some things they need to say though. And I'm sure you do too." She tells me.
"Sara?" Gil asks and I move to stand in front of him.
"She's right in front of you." Melinda tells him. "Say what you need to say."
"Sara, I love you. I always have and I always will." Gil begins.
"I love you too, always and forever." I tell him.
"She says she does too." Melinda tells him for me.
He smiles and continues, "I have been so angry this past year that I haven't been able to think straight. I shouldn't have been so angry at you and blamed you for dying. I knew deep down that you didn't want to; that you would never leave me purposefully without saying goodbye."
"I didn't. That's why I'm still here." I tell him and in turn Melinda tells him.
"I couldn't leave and rest peacefully without saying goodbye and knowing that you would be okay." I say and again Melinda tells him for me.
"I'm glad you stayed. This is what I needed. I've been walking around sulking and just going through the motions of the job. I haven't been able to move past it, but now I think I may be ready to start." Gil says.
"And we'll all be here to help him. We always have." Catherine speaks up and the others nod their agreement.
"Thank you guys." I tell them and Melinda does her thing.
I first move to Catherine. "Cath…" I start.
"Catherine, she has something to say to you." Melinda tells her.
"We sometimes didn't get along, but I really looked up to you." I pause to let Melinda tell her that and Catherine starts to cry more.
"I know you have been looking after Gil this past year and I thank you for that. Please promise me that you will continue to do so. He really needs you now."
"She thanks you for looking after Gil and wants you to promise that you still will." Melinda says.
"I promise I will Sara. You were a wonderful person." Catherine responds and I smile and move to Greg.
"Greg." Melinda says and he looks around.
"You were one of the first people I connected with when I came to Vegas. I loved you like a brother, even though you had the biggest crush on me." I stop for Melinda to tell him and everyone laughs at my mention of his crush. "Sorry to tell you, but you never had a chance. We were great friends, but a relationship never would've worked. I still love you though."
"She said you never had a chance at more than a friendship, but she still loves you." Melinda says.
"I know that. But, hey…a guy can fantasize can't he. I valued our friendship so much. I am truly grateful to say that I was your friend." Greg says, barely able to hold it together.
"Thank you." I say as I move to Nick. "Nick you were like an older brother to me. You helped me through some hard times and were always there to listen to my problems and offer me a shoulder to cry on. You are a true friend and I love you for that."
Melinda tells him and he says, "You were a great friend too Sara. I was glad to be the one whom you trusted to come to with your troubles. You were a great friend too, Sara."
I turn to Brass. "You were like a father to me. You helped me through my alcohol problems. I don't know how my life would have turned out if you hadn't been there to make me realize my problems couldn't be solved in the bottom of a bottle. It made me a better person and I will always have you to thank for that."
My interpreter to the living tells him and he tears up. "Your welcome, Sweetie. I couldn't just sit back and watch you go down that path. I went that way and I wasn't going to let you. I am happy I got to be the one to help you through that hurdle."
"And you lab rats. You were some great friends to have over the years."
"You lab rats were some great friends to have." Melinda says looking at them.
"Anyone else have something to say?" I ask and the Melinda asks them.
"We all love you Sara. We are all honored to be able to call you a friend. And we will be here to look after Grissom." Nick says.
"We all miss you and we hope we will see you again." Greg says.
"You will." I say and then Melinda does.
"What about Warrick?" Asks Catherine. "Is he still here? Or did he, go?"
I shake my head. "He crossed over right after. He tried to get me to go, but I wasn't ready."
"He crossed over right after he died." Melinda tells them and they all heave a sigh of relief that another CSI isn't haunting the lab.
"I have something to say to everyone." I say and Melinda quiets everyone.
"I fought as long and hard as I could. I didn't want to die. I didn't deserve to die, but I did. And I'm sorry. I know you all blame yourselves, but stop. It's not your fault. You all tried as hard as you could. I don't blame you, so don't blame yourselves."
"She didn't want to die. She fought as long and hard as she could. She knows you all did your best to find her. She doesn't blame you, so you shouldn't blame yourselves." Melinda tells them for me.
"And Gil," I say and walk back to him. "You especially stop blaming yourself. You shouldn't be living like this. You need to move on, to be happy."
Melinda translates for me, "Gil, you especially need to stop blaming yourself. It's not your fault. You need to move on and be happy."
"I don't know if I can be happy without you Sara. You were, are, my life. I fell so lost and lonely without you." Gil says between sobs.
"You can. You have the team around you, supporting you. Let them. Don't make me an off limits topic. Talk about me, remember me, it will make the grieving process so much easier." I say stroking his cheek and he touches it. He knows it's me.
"Talk about her. It will make the grieving easier. Let the team support you." Melinda says and the team moves closer to him and Catherine puts her hand on his shoulder and he smiles at her.
"Promise me you will be happy. Promise not to dwell on it too much." I beg him.
"I promise." He replies to Melinda's telling him of my demand.
"I will always love you Gilbert Grissom." I say and give him a kiss on those gorgeous lips that I love. He cried even harder, if that is even possible, and puts his hand on his lips.
"I love you too Sara Sidle." He says, knowing what I said, without our conduit.
"I see it." I say, seeing the bright light and feeling so peaceful again. "It's just as beautiful as I remember it."
"She's ready." Melinda tells them.
Goodbyes, We love yous, and We miss yous ring through the halls.
"Warrick is waiting. And Pat, too. He's the one who told me about you. He said he would be waiting." I turn back for one last look at my family. "Take care of him."
I turn and walk into the white light; ready to find out what is one the other side…finally.
9 Years Later
I have been watching over Gil these past nine years. He has kept his promise. While, he has never found another person to spend the rest of his life with, which I didn't expect him to (you only get one soul mate), he did spend his last years happy.
He and the team became very close. They began to talk about me regularly. It made it easier for all of them, rather than having to bottle it all up inside. He still had his bad days, but they all stuck together and helped each other through it.
On May 17, 2017, my Gilbert had a heart attack in his sleep, not the way he wanted to go, but hey, I didn't want to drown in the desert.
I watch him leave his body and look around, finally looking into the light. Our eyes met and we smiled at each other. He walked into the light, and we were finally together again, forever.
"Hello, Gilbert. I've been waiting for you." I tell him, wrapping my arms around his neck.
"I'm glad to hear it. I love you." He tells me, putting his arms around my waist.
"I love you, too" I tell him back.
Our eyes lock and we stare into each other's eyes, saying all that needs to be said through our eyes. He leans forward and our lips meet in a gentle yet passionate kiss, uniting us for all eternity.
A/N: Yes, Warrick is dead, too. I slipped a comment in about that in an early chapter. He was going to be used for the extended part of the story, but since I didn't do it, I thought I would at least mention him again. I just want to thank all of you who read this story. I really enjoyed writing it and I absolutely loved reading your reviews, so please drop me one last one. Once again, thank all of you for reading and sticking with me on this!!