I have a hard time writing Roxanne being introspective. She is a person who goes and does things without really thinking about why. Megamind, now, he overthinks everything…but Roxanne just does what she has to in order to get the job done. Which was a lot of why this chapter was so fucking long coming. The first draft was just the return of the angst two-by-four beating both of them about the head. The second draft was me trying to cull the angst but keep the good lines in, but that just was unrealistic and I scrapped it after a couple of days because it read like they were both drugged, going back and forth between rational conversation and ONLY ANGST. Some of those bits might make it into the Deleted Scenes when the series ends; we'll see. Either way, this chapter has undergone heavy heavy heavy revisions since its conception, and if I've accidentally repeated a line or something, or words are missing, or the flow is so bad that you think I deleted something I didn't mean to delete, let me know and I'll fix it ASAP.

And so now we have this. I don't own anything in here, really. I guess Mike is mine, but he'll never show up ever. Billy is nowhere near mine, but I couldn't resist. I'm learning that this is a ridiculously small world we live in, and the plausibility of weird coincidences actually happening is increasing in my head. Besides. I'm a fangirl.

Chapter 11! In which Roxanne is bitchy, Megamind stands up for himself, Roxanne is less bitchy, and they both work out a lot of things that might otherwise have been a problem later on. This fic? Is a bullet-dodging fic.

Thank you all for being so incredibly patient. Schoolwork, and tendonitis, and the calculus homework gets collected every day and I have about 7 or 8 tutees for the class I'm TA-ing and I have to have at least 3 hours in the glass lab every week...Life is crazy. My roommate can attest that I spend nearly all of my free time working on Hallows' Eve, but it still takes a lot of time, especially when I'm writing super-emotional scenes.

So…thank you. Thank you all so, so much for being so patient. I already have some of chapter 12 written, because I tore it off the bottom of this one for being so long, so with any luck the next chapter will be up less than a month from now.

*Hugs you*

Chapter 11

Roxanne grimaces. The other reason she had wanted him to go first was so that if she tried to chicken out, he wouldn't let her. "I promised, didn't I?"

"We had a deal."

"We didn't shake on it?" she tries, but it's half-hearted at best; she knows it's a weak argument. And when Megamind's expression goes flat, she shakes her head. "Okay, okay, I know. I didn't really expect you to cave."

"You don't want me to cave." He scowls and folds his arms over his chest. "If you really wanted me to cave, you would have made me let you off the hook when I was still a mushy blob of guilt. Please stop trying to play with my emotions. I don't appreciate it."

Roxanne nods tiredly. "Okay. You're right, I'm not being fair." She pulls away, scoots back, and Megamind reluctantly lets her go, twisting and taking his boots off so that he can bring his legs up onto the couch without having to worry about the leather – which is tough, admittedly, but he doesn't want to have to worry about it.

He gets the second boot off, it thumps on the floor, and then suddenly there's a weight in his lap and Megamind looks down in surprise at Roxanne's ear.

"Uhh?" he says, and mentally slaps himself. Are you serious? he thinks. 'Uhh.' That's the best you can do? Get it together, Megamind!

Roxanne puts a hand on Megamind's leg, and he sits very still. She's quiet for a long minute, just thinking and brushing her thumb absently back and forth over the leather.

"I'm sorry," she says at last, and okay, that was the last thing he had expected to hear. He had been expecting some sort of tirade like the one she had given him back in August, but it doesn't look like that's going to happen. He isn't sure if he feels like daring to hope, but he can't help it. Maybe it's going to be okay. Maybe the drama is over now? "You were right, you know. I should have told you. I wanted to."

"Yes," he stammers, "yes, you said that."

There aren't very many days that Megamind wishes he hadn't taken his caffeine, but this is one of them. Roxanne had been more articulate earlier, when she had been freaking out, but now that she's calm she's also closed off, and Megamind really wishes he could tell what she's feeling. Carefully, he lays his hand down on her hair. She goes rigid, and Megamind pauses before steeling himself and pressing his fingers flat against her scalp. If he can't read her emotions, maybe he can read her body language.

Okay. What needs to happen, here? He wants to make her understand, but he thinks she might already. Roxanne is very good at understanding him. But he's still learning to understand her.

It's still so fragile, this thing they have going between them. It's been growing stronger over the past few months, but right now it is very fragile indeed, and Megamind is all too aware of how close he might be to never having Roxanne's head in his lap again. He leans back and tries to relax, combing his fingers through her hair.

Then he frowns, and does it again. Roxanne doesn't really respond, but…

She gets head-shy when she's vulnerable or scared, but here she's lying with her head in his lap. And Roxanne is not an overtly physically demonstrative person, not that Megamind has seen, anyway. Hand-holding aside, she doesn't cuddle very much outside the bedroom when there isn't a reason to.

He's pretty sure she doesn't want to have her head in his lap right now. He's pretty sure she'd rather be somewhere – anywhere – else. He's pretty sure she's making a statement.

But he isn't certain.

"You don't have to do this, you know," he says softly, relenting a little. "If you want to run, run. I won't stop you."

Roxanne rolls her eyes. "I'm not going to run. Don't be ridiculous."

"But being ridiculous is what I do," Megamind replies, and Roxanne half-smiles.

"And you do it so well."

"My whole career has been based around my being ridiculous; I'm certainly not going to stop now," he reminds her, and then adds, "Besides. I know you want to. You don't want to do this; I can tell."

Roxanne sniffs. He's right, of course, but that doesn't mean she's going to move. She's actually very comfortable where she is. "Well, of course I don't want to," she mutters. "That's the point. But I have to. Sometimes, you have to do things you don't want to."

"Why?"

The seconds tick by. The brainbots thaum quietly in the background, and under everything, the steady rise-and-fall hum of the reactors carries on its endless repetitive harmony. Roxanne focuses on it. She doesn't know much about music, she can't identify the intervals. She wishes she could. It goes like this: the fourth, the fifth, the minor fall and the major lift—

"Roxanne?"

—The baffled king composing hallelujah. "Because that's what love is," she tells him, closing her eyes. "It's—it's doing things you don't want to do sometimes because there are more important things than what you want. That's what love is. And I love you."

Megamind sifts his fingers through her hair again, and the sensation sends little tingles down Roxanne's spine. She's relaxing a little bit, but as soon as she realizes that's what she's doing, she tenses up again. Damn.

It strikes her, suddenly, how strange a picture they must be: her, lying on the couch with her head in his lap, his hand on her head. It's a pity Megamind refuses to look into time machines; she almost wishes she could take a photograph of the two of them like this and send it back somehow to five years ago and see how she reacts. Reacted? Will have reacted? How do you talk about the past in the future tense, anyway? Will would have reacted?

And can we please stay on track, here?

"Listen, I…it's very simple, it really is," Roxanne murmurs. "I have problems accepting help from people. I don't like doing it. I've been getting rescued all my life and I'm sick of feeling like I have no control over what happens to me."

"Accepting help, or asking for it?" Megamind wants to know. Roxanne can hear him frowning. "Because I've seen you accept help. I don't think I've ever seen you ask for help, though. Apart from, you know. Titan."

Roxanne sighs. Her hand tightens on his leg. "I didn't like doing that. But it wasn't just for me, you know, it was the city and everything else, too."

"And you knew that telling me you needed me was the best way to get me moving."

"Oh, god, don't say that," she groans. "It makes me sound so manipulative."

"Roxanne, be honest," Megamind says, and something in his voice catches her attention. Some pensive, doubtful undertone. "Please. For once, please don't worry about hurting me, and tell me – do you have a problem with talking to me?" He pauses, then clarifies, "You know, about…sensitive things. Like this, like we are now."

Oh, fuck. Roxanne grits her teeth and shuts her eyes. No, she wants to say, I don't have a problem at all, but then she would be lying—but she can't very well say Yes, either, because then she'll be admitting something she really doesn't want to admit. Something she's been refusing to admit for a very, very long time.

"That's a yes, then." Megamind lets out a quiet puff of a sigh, and Roxanne remembers where she is and that he probably can feel when she clenches her jaw.

"It's nothing personal, I swear," Roxanne says, because really, what else can she say? How do I even explain this? Megamind starts to say something, she can tell from the way he takes a breath and she cuts him off. "No, just, give me a minute. Hang on. Let me think."

Frustrated, Megamind drops what he had been going to say. He knows she's trying, but it doesn't feel like she is. Talk, will you just talk to me? he wants to say, but of course she's just told him there's a problem with that. And how, how is he not supposed to take that personally?

Finally Roxanne swallows. "I'm a proud woman." Megamind starts to scoff, but Roxanne cuts him off sharply. "No, I mean it. I am. Very proud."

Megamind frowns. If she's serious… "Okay, well, that's…understandable? You should be, I mean, you've done a lot of great things, and—"

"No," she snaps. She sits up and faces him, scowling as she pushes her hair out of her face. "No, I haven't, and that's not what I mean. I mean I worry a lot about what people think of me."

Well, now he's more baffled than ever. "What?" he says, drawing back a little. "No you don't. You keep saying you don't. I can think of fif…no, sixteen separate occasions where you have said, specifically, that you don't care what people think." He stares at her. Inconsistencies he can understand; few humans have his capacity for memory and Megamind has learned to tolerate that, but direct contradictions? It doesn't make sense. Especially because Roxanne is one of the few humans who actually can keep pace with him some of the time. That kind of slip isn't like her. "I can give you quotes, if you want. Dates. And, and context?"

Roxanne massages her eyes with her thumb and forefinger, then pinches the bridge of her nose. "Relationship 101, Megs. People don't like it when you use your super-brain to win arguments."

"But I'm right," he insists, "I know I am. And even if I didn't remember everything, it still wouldn't make sense! If you cared what your mother thought, you wouldn't be with me."

Roxanne mutters something under her breath, then holds up a hand. "Okay, okay, look, just…shut up."

"No," Megamind exclaims. He elbows the high back of the sofa in frustration; he knows it's childish but he can't help it. "I won't shut up! I'm confused! You've told me time and again that you don't care what people think about you, but now here you are saying you worry, what, I just don't—"

"I meant people who aren't YOU!" Roxanne snarls, and Megamind shuts up and shrinks back into the couch, wide-eyed. Roxanne's blue eyes have taken on the grey cast they tend to get when she's angry, and she's glaring and red-faced and yelling, actually yelling. "I don't care what they think! Why would I care what they think? They're. not. you!" She slams her hands down flat on her thighs, and Megamind jumps. Roxanne doesn't appear to notice; she's off again, gesturing wildly. "If I want to be with you, and you want to be with me, well fuck, Megamind, let them think whatever the hell they wanna think because you're smart and funny and nice and just generally amazing, and I'm not stupid, I know how fucking rare guys like you are, and I'm not going to give that up just because the public thinks you're a freak!"

Megamind rallies. He's never backed down when he's known he's right, and he's not going to start now, even if he is a little bit scared. "But you just said you worried about what people think of you!"

"Because it was easier than saying I worry about what YOU think of me!" And then Roxanne freezes. The red in her face drains out and leaves her pale, and then she groans and wilts, sort of; just flops bonelessly backward and throws an arm over her eyes. "Oh, great," she mutters. "Open mouth, insert foot."

Megamind sits where he is, stunned. "You…" he says, then shakes his head. "You care what I think?"

Roxanne makes a sweeping there-you-go motion with one hand, rubbing her eyes with the other.

"But why?"

Roxanne lifts her head and sends him what has to be one of the most insultingly scornful stares he's ever received. It's one he used to get a lot back in school: the what-the-hell-are-you-smoking face. He hates that face.

"Seriously?"

Megamind stares at her and gives a little shrug.

"You care about what I think of you, don't you?" she asks him, and if he hadn't known better, he'd have said she was sneering.

"Of course I do!" he exclaims, indignant. "I love you! And don't—don't you take that tone with me," he warns, because he's really fighting the urge to just get up and leave. He strongly suspects that both of them on the defensive will not be pretty. "You're mocking me."

"I am not," she starts, then abruptly cuts off when Megamind clenches his whole upper body in violent rejection of her denial.

"You are," he tells her flatly. Standing up to Roxanne makes him feel lightheaded and sick, especially because she's already angry, but he really does not deserve the snide tone and derisive posture and he remembers what she had said about wanting someone to fight with her. "You are, whether you realize it or not. You're being cruel. Stop it. I am not attacking you, I am not the bad guy here. Stop acting like I am."

Roxanne's nostrils flare, and for one terrible moment Megamind is sure she's going to fight him, but then she blinks and backs down, looks away. "Sorry," she mutters. She doesn't sound sorry, but it's a step.

Megamind blinks too and nods jerkily. "It's—fine. I just. I don't understand. You, you've always said…I mean…" He stammers his way into silence.

"Like I said," Roxanne says, without looking at him. "I'm very proud. Of course I worry about what you think. But you really think I wanted you to know that?"

Everything she's said during the past two minutes comes crashing back through Megamind's head, but two statements really stand out. I've been getting rescued all my life. I worry about what you think of me. And she's so defensive, like she's trying to pull his attention away from something. He doubts she's doing it consciously, but…

"Roxanne, do you think—do you think I think you're weak?" His voice is higher than it usually is, but he's passed so far beyond comprehension that pretty much everything is a question now. "Is that what you think? That, that I'll think you can't take care of yourself if you ask me for help or admit that bad things have happened to you or tell me you're worried? Is that why—" His eyes go wide. Roxanne is staring at him, pale. "It is! That's why you cry on Wayne and not me! It's not because you don't care about what he thinks, it's because you care more about what I think!"

And then, of course, he realizes what he's just said, and slumps. "Picsába," he groans. "Már megint elbasztam."

Roxanne opens her mouth to respond, then pauses. "That was…"

"Hungarian." He scrubs his hands over his face. "Roxanne, I'm such an idiot. I messed it up again."

She sits up quickly enough to startle him. "No. Stop right there. Uh, h…hülye?" Then, when Megamind's mouth falls open, she jumps a little and shakes her head. "No no, that's not right. Um." She thinks for a moment and then looks up, her face lighting with short-lived excitement. "Oh! Kuss!"

Megamind blinks again. "Are you…trying to tell me to shut up? Because s is pronounced sh, remember. Pronouncing that with a sibilant means 'kiss,' in German, and I really don't think…"

"Koosh," Roxanne says. "Kuss, hülye." Megamind's lips twitch, but Roxanne plows ahead. "You shut up. No. You didn't mess anything up, okay? None of this was your fault. This is all on me."

"But I kept misinterpreting—"

"I wanted you to misinterpret. I still sort of do. Keep…keep bringing me down, okay?" She slouches forward, scrubbing both hands through her hair. "If I get up on my high horse again? I'm not very good at staying grounded when I'm like this." Megamind just watches her, desperately tries to read the flickers of thoughts chasing each other across her face. "I just…I'm going to take things the wrong way," she tells him, and he hears the warning note in her voice and makes a note of it. "I'm going to twist your words around and try to hurt you with them. So you know. I'm sorry. That's how I get when I'm angry and—and scared, I—"

She looks around, anywhere and everywhere but at him, blinking rapidly, and licks her lips. She opens her mouth to continue, but nothing comes out. Megamind reaches forward and takes her hand, threading their fingers together, and after a moment, Roxanne's fingers tighten around his. "Keep doing that." She swallows. "Keep reminding me who I'm talking to, okay? You're not—you're not anything like what I'm used to.

"I'm not an especially nice person, you know, when I'm upset. I say things – I don't like feeling this exposed. It's like you're going through and systematically tearing down all of my walls." She gulps again, fighting to keep her voice even. "They exist for a reason, you know; I'm not…" She presses her lips together and tips her head back, stares helplessly up at the ceiling. "You're not the only one with insecurities. And you're certainly not the only one who worries about screwing up. Why do you think I get all weird and nervous whenever the PHED comes up in conversation?"

Megamind tries not to gape at her. Roxanne gets nervous? Roxanne doesn't know what she's doing? The mind boggles. "I—I keep telling you, you don't have to worry about that—"

"Yes, just like you don't need to worry about Chadwick-fucking-Whitehill." Roxanne drops her head again and tugs her hand away so she can cross her arms over her chest, then turns to stare pensively out into the Lair. "But we're shaped by our experiences. For better or for worse, really. The PHED taught you…what, to be wary, to cover all your bases? And I imagine they're responsible for a lot of the whole 'I'm an alien, nobody will ever love me' thing you've got eating at you."

Megamind manages to close his mouth with an effort. He clears his throat, hoping she'll let this go and not do that thing where she tries to convince him. "Maybe. A bit. Yes."

To his relief, Roxanne just nods. "Well…Peter taught me not to trust myself. Michael taught me not to trust him. Chad taught me not to trust him or myself. And it's not fair to think you'll be like them, that's not fair at all considering all you've done for me, but things have been going so wrong lately and I keep remembering what they were like and forgetting that you're you and…

"Fuck it," she says abruptly, and Megamind blinks. Roxanne doesn't swear very often, and very rarely in that particular tone of voice. She sits up straight, presses two fingers to her forehead and scrunches up her face in frustration. "Fuck. Fuck it. Argh. No. I've had enough. We're hashing this out now and I'm going to be articulate and I'm going to be…not a total moron. I'm going to be calm. This is you I'm talking to," she snaps, opening her eyes and pointing at him. "You aren't Peter, you aren't Chad, you aren't Mike or Billy or Paul. You're Megamind. You are sweet and funny and cute and I love you and I really, really don't deserve you, but here we are, and we're hashing this out now. Okay."

She takes a deep breath and looks at him for a long moment. Megamind stares back.

Then Roxanne's lips twitch with reluctant amusement. "Now if I could just figure out how to start, we could actually get this show on the road."

Megamind snorts. "Things you think but don't say?" he suggests. "Um…may I make a conjecture?"

Roxanne half-smiles and digs her toes into the couch cushions, which is a good sign. "Go ahead. Conject away."

"You don't trust your own judgment. True or false?"

That takes the smile right off her face. She doesn't answer, and she stops moving her feet.

"I mean, come on." Megamind's statement had come out of the blue, as he had expected it to. He had been trying to catch her off her guard, and it had worked. "Hal. Titan. Chad. Bernard. Probably your father, too, to some extent. You haven't really had a good run of trusting people, have you? But you keep trying to see the good in people. Titan hit that nail on the head, I know that. I think you want to trust people, which is surprising, given your track record. I think you're a lot stronger than you give yourself credit for."

Roxanne bites her lip. "You're wrong," she says. "I'm not strong at all. But I'm supposed to be. And that's a really good place to start, thank you." She can hear her voice getting unsteady, and as soon as she realizes that, the words won't come anymore. Crap, she thinks again, and looks around, searching desperately for something to focus on.

Suddenly there are hands covering her own, and she jumps and looks up.

"Look," Megamind says. "Look at me." It isn't a command, it's an offer – If you need something to look at, look at this.

From anyone else, such an offer would have been merely nice, but this is Megamind. Coming from him, 'look at me' is monumental. He doesn't like it when people look at him. He tolerates Roxanne looking at him, of course, but if she does it for too long he gets self-conscious and stammery—that he's offering to let her look at him speaks volumes.

So Roxanne looks at Megamind, at his crazy-green eyes, worried even though his voice is calm. The random flashes of gold that only show in certain lights are muted now but still visible if she really looks for them. Black goatee, black eyebrows, impeccably neat. High cheekbones, pointed chin, long nose. Blue skin, different shades depending on the light and what he's wearing.

Four months, but he's already so familiar. Roxanne focuses on him. "I," she gets out, and the words follow.

"I've trusted a lot of people, and I've been let down a lot of times. I've made a lot of bad decisions. But I trust you completely, and that worries me sometimes, because you're right, I don't trust my own judgment. We've only been together for four months! I should not feel this way about you so soon. And usually, it's a total non-issue. Usually I am totally fine with trusting you, I just don't think about it and everything is fine. But these past couple of days have been…hard."

She wants to curl up again but forces herself to sit still. God, why is she telling him this? He doesn't need to hear this, and she doesn't want any sympathy. He's going to think she's pathetic.

"I haven't spent much time around Wayne recently, and seeing him like that…it hit me, kind of, that everything is changing. And Lord Scott is dead. I still almost can't believe it. I knew him. And you, saving that kid, that was amazing. I would have just walked away and let the police deal with it, but you…I had to go home, and then Minion was worrying, and it kept getting later and later and the two of you weren't back, and…I realized how much I really, really do not want to lose you. And I hate…I hate feeling like my happiness is dependent on another person, but I was so scared."

She bites her lip and looks down at her hands. "And. And so there's this little part of my mind that keeps telling me to just get out now while I still can, it keeps saying, Roxie, what are you thinking? Have you lost your mind? He'll let you down, he'll hurt you, you're better off alone." She stops. But this time she pushes the words out – it's getting easier. "But I know that little voice is stupid and wrong. I know it is, because I trust you. But I don't…I don't trust that I trust you, I guess? Does that make sense? Which is, of course, another level of silly, but I can't help it, and it's just this, this endless cycle of recursive stupid!"

She lets out a harsh breath and squints. "And I kept thinking. If something happened to you. Heck, even if we broke up. It'd just be me again, on my own, and—I liked being single! I really did! But I like being with you more. And if, if I ever lost you, for whatever reason, if you left me or got hurt or whatever, I don't care – would I lose Minion, too? I love you, but—I love him too." Megamind's mouth falls open and his eyebrows fly to their maximum height in shock. "Not the same way I love you," Roxanne says, shaking her head, "but I love both of you so much that I can't wrap my head around it sometimes. I don't want to lose either of you. And I don't know if that's okay. I don't know if any of it is okay. Maybe that's what has me so confused."

She sniffs miserably and rubs her eyes, wipes the moisture on her pants. Megamind's eyes are still very wide, but he swallows and squeezes her hands. "Why couldn't you just tell me that?"

"Because," Roxanne says again. She's quiet for a moment. "Because I don't want you to worry about me. Because I can work through this on my own. Because it really doesn't matter!" she exclaims. "It's how I feel. I can't change that, at this point. All I need to do is convince myself that what I feel is okay! And that shouldn't be your problem."

Megamind ducks his head and looks at her. "Is that what you really think, or what you tell yourself?"

Roxanne winces. "A little of both," she admits reluctantly. "I also really, really don't want to lose your respect. I'm supposed to be the strong one, remember? I worry about what'll happen if you ever realize how uncertain I am about things." Megamind opens his mouth, but Roxanne hurriedly continues, "Also. The little voice in the back of my head?" She glances up at Megamind. "It sounds a lot like my mom. And that is the worst, because every time I get off the phone, I'm sitting there going, what if she's right? What if this really is too good to be true? And then." She squeezes her eyes closed, feels something cold and wet trickle down the sides of her nose. "Then I look at you. At that silly, happy smile. And I feel like the worst person in the world for ever doubting you."

She opens her eyes again. "I've fallen in love with you, Megamind. As strange and cheesy as it sounds, somewhere along the line, I have fallen hopelessly in love with you. And I hope you understand what that means. I hate – I hate – telling people all these things because it means I trust them, and it means I've given them a lot of power over me."

Megamind blinks furiously and shakes his head. "You don't have to worry," he says hoarsely, "I wouldn't hurt you. I couldn't. And if you – if you ever have doubts, or questions, or worries about…you know, us? Please, please tell me. I want to know. We have to talk to each other. I might not have a lot of experience, but I know that if we can't do that, we can't do anything. If we can't do that, it's all just a sham."

"I know," Roxanne replies. "I know it is. I'm sorry. I just, I've gotten so used to keeping to myself…"

Megamind just looks at her, and she can't bring herself to maintain eye contact any longer. "When I'm…mad?" She glances up at him long enough to see him nod. "When I'm mad, I say exactly what I know will hurt people the most. I don't mean what I say. It used to be how I'd get my boyfriends to leave me alone when we were having a fight. I got really good at it, because they were just so passive and they never said what they meant, so I'd twist their words around and just…ugh." She shakes her head. "It was bad. I got a lot of bad habits from them, and…I dunno, eventually I just figured I was just better off alone. Being with someone isn't worth all the heartache and trouble. It just wears you out and leaves you feeling like shit when it ends."

"If," Megamind says automatically, and Roxanne looks back at him in surprise. He jumps; evidently he hadn't meant to say anything. "I-I-I. Mean. I'm not—implying anything," he assures her hastily. "But…I think if works better than when."

Roxanne nods tiredly. "Actually, that's a lot of my problem, right there. I keep thinking about this like we're going to finish it, someday—like it's a done deal so I should just enjoy it while I can."

"And that's not really the mindset you want to have?" He sounds hopeful, and Roxanne can't help but smile a little as she shakes her head.

"No, it really isn't. Megamind—" She breaks off, suddenly frustrated. There's no way to say what she feels, what she wants. She's not even sure if she knows. "I don't want to mess this up, you know? My life is finally going right. It's finally making a little bit of sense, even if I still don't know when I'm finally going to feel like I know what I'm doing."

Megamind shakes his head and holds up his hands. "Okay, whoa, wait. Back up. Since when has your life not made sense?"

She heaves a sigh and slouches, rolling her eyes and shaking her head. "Oh, god. I don't know. Always, I guess? I mean, yeah, I have a great job. I love reporting and I don't want to give it up." She frowns a little. "And I'm not going to give it up any sooner than I have to, but being a reporter takes up a lot of my time, and I know that. Part of the reason I liked being single was that I never had to worry about whether or not I was paying enough attention to somebody.

"But, on the flip side, it also meant that I ended up coming home every night to an empty apartment, heating up some instant noodles, and reading until I fell asleep. It's been a while since I've had someone around to tell me, it's late, come to bed. I've sort of missed that. It's…nice," she admits, embarrassed. "And work isn't everything. There's always been something missing."

Megamind blinks. Roxanne is right: she doesn't talk about things very much. Certainly not about things she likes that he does.

"Oh, and I'm thirty-one," Roxanne continues. "I don't know how much longer I'll be able to be a live reporter. For one thing, the public is starting to get bored with me now that I'm not constantly reporting on Metro Man's doings. I'm old news. And more importantly, stations like to put young, pretty women with perfect figures and no wrinkles on the screen. I probably only have a couple of years left. Five, tops."

Megamind scowls. "Ageism is illegal," he mutters, and Roxanne shrugs.

"It also happens. A lot," she points out. "Especially in television and news media, and I won't be able to cover your stories if we stay together. Or even wh—if we break up. Journalistic integrity, and everything, but it means I'm going to be stuck with smaller stories. And I've become accustomed to a certain…well, a standard of excitement that's totally unrealistic for anybody but you and Wayne."

That gets a chuckle, but still, Megamind's heart sinks a little. Journalistic integrity hadn't mattered as much with Metro Man because the public was, quite frankly, totally blind where Metro Man was concerned, but Roxanne-and-Megamind will be a different story. Megamind knows how much Roxanne had enjoyed getting the big stories about Metro City's hero and villain. He opens his mouth to speak, but what Roxanne says next sends his words flying right out of his mind.

"I'm thinking about maybe checking out early and going into teaching or something."

Megamind's head snaps up and he stares at her. "What? Teaching? You?"

"Yeah." Roxanne grins, and her voice takes on a dreamy undertone. Dreamy? Roxanne daydreams? Megamind is floored. "Think about it. First day of class, the students come in and I'm nowhere to be seen, and then there's a bang and a huge cloud of smoke and when it clears, there I am tied to a chair or something with your alligators or that silly Bootwheel of Death, maybe the Pineapple of Doom in some kind of containment field, and you do your evil laugh and I'm all 'yeah, yeah,' just like old times, right? And the first class is how and why you should build up immunity to different kinds of smoke bombs or something." She snuggles into his leg. "I could do a really neat course on reporting on supers and high-profile offworlders. Heck, even just a seminar could be really fun. And you could help me. It would be fantastic."

Megamind has to blink a few times, still waiting for the shock to wear off. "That does sound…fantastic." And it does. Megamind had never really liked his teachers, but he has a lot of respect for the profession—the dissemination of knowledge is something he can really get behind—so the mental image of Roxanne as any kind of teacher is at the same time intensely bizarre and sexy as hell. The two impressions make for a very odd combination.

Roxanne leans against the side of the couch. She's starting to relax a little more. "So that's…a possibility. Or I could write a book – you of all people know I have seen more than enough to fill a book. So I'm not really worried about my career. As much as I love reporting…I'm open to new possibilities." She pauses. "I just don't want to be bored. That's the main thing. I hate being bored. That's why I've always spent so much time at work! Reporting doesn't have to take up as much of my time as it currently does. I just haven't had anything exciting to come home to in a really long time.

"Which is another point in your favor, by the way," she adds, peering up at him again. "I haven't been bored much since I met you. You've always managed to pop up with some ridiculous scheme or other and give me a boost. And I was kind of worried, at first, that you wouldn't be as interesting in private as you used to be in public, but it turns out you're more interesting. I never know what you're going to be doing when I come home. Not to mention you're a total sweetheart."

There it is again. Roxanne never says things like that. She tells him she loves him, calls him normal pet names like 'hon' and 'sweetie' sometimes, but that's as far as she goes. She never uses descriptors. A total sweetheart? Him? Since when?

The silence between them is less tense and more companionable, this time, despite the fact that Megamind is now completely boggled.

Roxanne worries about what he thinks of her. She's thinking about going into teaching if reporting doesn't work out. She worries about losing him. She worries about losing Minion. She loves Minion? That's something he'd never expected. She gets mean when she's upset. She feels like she doesn't know what she's doing with her life. She loves him. She doesn't want to lose him. She has a fatalistic view of relationships.

Well, that could explain the way she had reacted during that fiasco back in August. She'd been so angry at him jeopardizing their relationship because he had thought she would fall out of love with him someday, but she had come back to prove him wrong. And also, maybe, to prove herself wrong?

But that's not what keeps pounding through his head, and he clears his throat. "Uhm. When you. When you say you love Minion…what, exactly, do you mean?"

Roxanne groans and slumps forward into his lap again. "I don't know. I just…I was thinking about it, and I realized that's what it was. It's not romantic, or anything. Think of it like…really, really good friend love?"

Megamind frowns. "Like with Jo?"

"N…not exactly." Roxanne sighs and scowls. "I can't really explain it. But. I want him to be happy, and I think if I ever saw somebody being mean to him I'd want to hurt them. A lot." She thinks for a minute. "Think about it this way: Minion is family. And you don't hurt my family."

Megamind nods. That, he can absolutely understand. It's how he feels about his uncles, to some extent. "Ah. That makes sense. Sorry, you just…you caught me off-guard."

"No, it's okay. It caught me kind of off-guard, too." She pauses again, then looks up at him. "You know, I don't think I've ever talked this much to anyone else?"

Megamind blinks. "Not even Peter?"

Roxanne laughs. "Are you kidding? I couldn't say this to Peter. I couldn't say anything to Peter; I was so paranoid about trying to figure out what he wanted. No, the only other one I might have been able to talk to was Billy. That was actually a healthy relationship." She sighs. "We ended it after just a couple of weeks, unfortunately. Mutual agreement. We were just incompatible."

"Really?" The idea that Roxanne might be incompatible with anyone is still completely unbelievable to Megamind. "How?"

Roxanne presses her lips together for a moment, then starts laughing. "Because he wanted to rule the world," she admits, between breaths of laughter. "He couldn't see any good in people, and I…tried to see the good in everybody."

Megamind sits up straight. "Wait, wait, wait. Was this a sort of blonde-ish guy? Thin smile, square jaw? Studied a lot of astrophysics?"

Roxanne squints up at him. "I don't know about astro, his major had 'quantum' in it twice, but…yeah, that sounds about right. Why? Do you know him?"

Megamind bursts out laughing. "Roxanne, you—oh, man, you really know how to pick them. I met him at a convention a couple years ago. He's a supervillain now."

She sits up and twists around, incredulity painted all over her face. "Really?"

Megamind nods. "Pretty successful one, too. Last I heard, he'd made it into some kind of local syndicate."

"Huh," Roxanne says, for lack of anything better to say. "Wow. So are all villains secretly nice guys, then, or am I just lucky?"

Megamind half-smiles. "I'm not all that nice," he says. "Seriously, though. How does a smart woman like you pick so many weird guys?"

Roxanne bristles a little. "Peter wasn't weird," she protests.

"Seems to me like he was. I've never heard of anyone behaving like that in a relationship before." He pauses. "Besides, I'm not really talking about Peter.

Roxanne groans. "You're talking about Chad. Do I really have to talk about Chad?"

"I sincerely wish you would."

"Muhhh," she sighs. "Okay. What do you want to know?"

He doesn't want to ask for a list of things Chad had done to her, unless it's to give to his uncle Guduza. He'd know the right people, he'd be able to find a way to make Chad pay.

But Megamind suspects that probably isn't what Roxanne wants, and anyway he had heard what she had screamed at her mother on the phone. So he shrugs. "Whatever you want to tell me, I guess."

"Okay, look, I told you – I don't talk about things. You're going to have to give me something to go on or I won't know where to start." She doesn't sound angry or upset at his lack of specifications, which is heartening. Mostly she just sounds tired.

"Why did you stay with him?" Megamind doesn't have to really think about what he wants to know; he's always thinking about things he wants to know. "If he was hurting you for so long. Why stay?"

"He wasn't always like that, you know. Hang on a minute. Can we sit a different way?"

Megamind shrugs. Roxanne sits up, then indicates he should sit at an angle, braced in the corner made where the back of the couch met the arm-rest.

Megamind has a better idea. That end of the sofa is actually a recliner. He pulls it out and raises his eyebrows.

"Actually, yeah, that'd work better," Roxanne admits, so Megamind sits in the corner with his legs up and she crawls in against him, sits up against his side with his arm around her waist, her legs curled under her. They aren't lying down – just sitting, but they're both vertical now and Megamind has to admit that this is more comfortable. His leg had been falling asleep with her lying on it.

"So he wasn't always like that," he prompts after she settles down, and she nods.

"Yeah. He actually used to be pretty nice. He had a great sense of romance – he was dramatic, brought me roses on our third date and said they were just pink because he didn't want to push me into anything, but if I cared to stay with him for a while he might bring red ones home someday. Stuff like that. He was really low-key about things in the beginning. And after a run of guys who never communicated, he was a breath of fresh air. I fell for him pretty hard."

Megamind frowns. "I guess I can understand that," he admits reluctantly, and at the same time makes a mental note to avoid roses. Shouldn't be too much of a problem; they give him a headache. "But later—"

"Later I kept remembering how he used to be. He only really got bad after I moved in with him. And he was still really sweet, sometimes. If we fought or something, and I was seriously considering leaving him, he'd come home and…I don't know, say something or do something and it would just be so nice, and I couldn't…" Roxanne makes a frustrated gesture with one hand. "It started because I was spending more and more time at the office, away from home. The longer I stayed away, the worse he got, but I needed my space and he swore he understood that, really he did; he just had a temper and he lost focus sometimes, he was sorry he was selfish, he just loved me so much…" She shakes her head. "Stuff like that."

"And you never told anybody? Not even Wayne?"

Roxanne shakes her head. "No. Afterwards, a couple of people, but…no, I don't think I ever did tell Wayne. He and I weren't really friends, at the time. This was years before we started telling people we were together. I barely knew him!"

"But he was a hero. Surely he could have helped."

Roxanne snorts. "I didn't want a hero. I wanted to save myself. I had my pride – at that point, it was all I had, and it was pretty bruised when we finally separated."

Megamind's mouth quirks into half a smile. "Pun intended?"

"Oh god, absolutely," she laughs, then pauses and cranes her neck to look up at him. "Thanks, by the way. For not treating me like some sort of china doll over this."

Megamind shrugs again. "You've made your point, I think," he reminds her. "You don't want to be handled with kid gloves. You aren't some fragile toy on a shelf. I figured that out years ago." Then he frowns. "So you never told anybody?"

Roxanne sighs and shakes her head. "Don't," she says, "don't ever think I didn't want to tell you. I did want to. Even when you were Bernard, I knew I should say something. But I didn't know how, and there are some guys who, even if I said, 'hey, this happened but it was like eight years ago and I'm really okay now,' would still only hear 'abuse victim!' and run away screaming."

"And you thought I would be like that?"

"No," Roxanne exclaims, then reconsiders. "Well. I hoped you wouldn't be. But I was scared. One of my girlfriends, Trish, she just sort of stopped talking to me after it happened. I cornered her, asked what was going on, and she said that she'd already had to deal with one friend who had been abused and wasn't looking to go through that with another. All the trust issues and drama. We never spoke again, and after that, I didn't tell anybody. I couldn't. Every time I tried, I kept…I kept thinking they would pack up and leave."

"You told Jo."

Roxanne laughs at that, and Megamind peers at her. "I didn't. She suspected something was up; she had for a while, and then you started kidnapping me but I really wasn't acting like a normal victim – she asked me a couple of times what was wrong but I wouldn't tell her. I mean, how do you tell someone that the kidnappings mean you'll be safe for little while?" Megamind's arm tightens almost imperceptibly around her waist, and she tucks her arm over his in response. "They were the only valid excuse I had to stay away from Chad, by that point. I would come home and he was always angry at you. Not me. And always for putting me in danger, he claimed, because he 'still cared.'

"Jo always let the matter drop. She doesn't do that anymore, and I think it might be my fault. But when Chad threw me out, after that eleventh time, Jo was on her way upstairs to make sure I was all right. That was the third time it had been televised live, and the first time you had used fire, and Wayne had made kind of a show in front of the cameras, checking to see if I was all right."

Megamind's free hand twitches but stays where it is. Roxanne picks it up – she isn't sure, but she thinks he might be trying not to cling. She doesn't mind, though. Really, she doesn't.

"Anyway, I guess when your friend comes rolling down a flight of stairs and her massive boyfriend is standing at the top, yelling at her, you sort of put two and two together. I might have run back upstairs if Jo hadn't grabbed me and dragged me after her. I was so angry at her then, but now I think I might owe her my life. I've never seen Chad so angry. And even if he had calmed down eventually, there would always have been next time. He had asked me about Wayne a couple of times before that, so I knew it would only escalate.

"So Jo hauled me back to her place and got Peter on the phone as soon as we got there. He and I had mostly fallen out of touch, but he'd graduated from law school by then and was practicing, and Jo knew it. She originally wanted to get someone more experienced, but I put my foot down, said I didn't want this going any further than it had to."

She sighs and shakes her head. "God. Peter. I owe him so much. He did all the paperwork, got everything we needed. Helped me take out a restraining order. I've always heard that can be a real pain, but Peter took care of everything, all I had to do was sign some forms and it was done. And when Chad was arrested, three years later, Peter was there again. Back in town on some kind of business function, he told me, but I never did find out what it was. He was the one who made sure I wouldn't have to take the stand or make a statement or whatever you call it – I wouldn't have to go up in front of a bunch of people and say 'this is what happened, this is what he did.'" Then she frowns and looks down at Megamind's hand, which has tightened rather a lot since she picked it up. "You okay?"

Megamind's eyes are distant. "I'll – explain in a minute. I just…is there anything more that you particularly want to tell me?"

"Not really. No. I'll tell you everything, though, if you really want me to; I…I guess I don't mind so much." She's a little surprised to find that this is true. "Why? What's up?"

"Roxanne, I—" His expression turns halfway pained. "Do you understand why I got so upset earlier?"

Roxanne frowns harder. "You already explained. There's too much going on, and—" She winces. "Can we not squeeze the bones in my hand until they turn into chicken salad?"

Megamind jerks his hand back as if he's been burned. "Sorry!"

"Oh for—it's fine, just don't hold on so hard, okay?" Shaking her head, Roxanne snatches his hand back and brushes her thumb over the cool skin under his wrist, a little gesture she had picked up from him. "All right, what, then? Next you're going to tell me that was only half of it, right? Because I should tell you the things I think about, and communicate, right?"

Megamind's lips thin and he shakes his head. "Well…yes. Some. But that's not why I…I mean, I lost control earlier because there was too much for me to handle, but that's not why I was upset. But I don't want you to dee-vulge all of your personal information; that's not what I'm asking for."

Roxanne blinks. "It isn't?"

"No!" Megamind gapes at her for a moment, then shuts his eyes for a second and shakes his head. "Okay, all right. Here's an example. Say, hypothetically, that you found out that I tried to commit suicide when I was fifteen. I didn't tell you this. Maybe my notes were lying open and you glanced down and saw them, maybe somebody else who knew about it mentioned it to you. Would you be angry with me for not telling you?"

Roxanne recoils. "Of course not!"

Megamind lifts an eyebrow. "Really?"

"Really!" Roxanne stares at him, uncomprehending. "That's personal. I mean really personal. That's not something you just come out and say to people. I mean, unless you have…triggers that I might…oh." Comprehension dawns. Megamind seizes it and drags it further into the light.

"Right! And this, this thing is very personal to you. On a deep level. Any idiot with a brain can see that. But it's the same thing as me convincing myself that you're not going to randomly up and leave me. I can deal with that on my own! I am dealing with that on my own. But, Roxanne…" He struggles for a minute. "You were upset because that's something that affects you that I didn't tell you about, and I ended up nearly driving you away because of it. And the whole abuse thing is something that affects me."

"But it doesn't," Roxanne starts to say, but Megamind gives her hand another squeeze, gentler this time.

"Yes. It does. You've obviously got really good control of this, you've obviously moved on with your life, but when you're emotionally strung-out and tired and not really feeling your best, it can come to the fore. I get that. It's like me and the whole PHED thing, remember that? You said something totally innocent, and I had to leave the room for a few minutes." He shrugs expansively, eyes wide. "It's a non-issue, it really is, I am really fine but it is something that does still affect me from time to time and therefore it affects you by extension. I mean…like I said before, what if I lost my temper someday and hit you? It would be blindingly stupid of me and I would never, ever—but what if? You'd spook, and run for the hills. You know you would; you know I'm right."

Roxanne pulls back a little and turns, her eyes searching his face. "I'd…I'd forgive you, I mean, people do…stupid things."

"But you'd never trust me again." It isn't a question, and Roxanne looks away. "You wouldn't be able to push the possibility that it might happen again out of your mind, and you wouldn't be able to trust me anymore. The decision to trust isn't really a decision, Roxanne, and you know it. You don't have to tell me why, you don't have to give me every tiny detail, but I do want you to tell me if there's something I'm doing that's not okay. It's what you want me to do. All I want is the same consideration! I need to know what stakes I'm playing." He tilts his head, scanning her face. "Does that make sense?"

Roxanne nods. "I think so. Thank you."

Megamind smiles a little. "Everybody has things they don't want to talk about. Someday, I'm sure we'll be comfortable enough with each other that we won't have to worry about it, but…there are things about me that I haven't told you. And I will, someday, but those are all things that you really and truly do not need to know, that I don't want you to know at this point in time." He breaks off abruptly, looking suddenly very nervous. "That's okay, right? Is that okay?"

Roxanne smiles. "Of course that's okay. I have some things, too. Probably not as…exciting as yours," and Megamind manages a laugh, "but yeah, me too."

He smiles for real, this time. "Oh, good," he says. "That's a relief to hear."

Then his smile fades. "The other reason I was upset had nothing to do with anything you'd done." He glances away. "Still, I—I think you should know. Chad escaped from prison a couple days ago."