No sign of movement yet. Greysight shouldered her way past a thick bush, wincing slightly as she felt the sharp prick of a thorn, but it was easy to pull herself free. At least she could scent Goldenpaw, that was her main way of tracking her now.
The forest was cool today. Normally she would feel the occasional sunspot warm her pelt, but it had probably been moons since that last happened. It made her wonder just how long it had been since anyone had actually seen the sun, most of the time they said it was just gray when she asked. Dark and gray. The lack of sunlight wasn't good for the forest, especially now when it was so... weak, for lack of a better word. Their home just wasn't what it used to be, and even back then, it had never been anything exceptional. Overhead, she heard the faint caw of a crow, hiding in the tick canopy of the trees above.
Thinking about the poor state of their territory caused her to think of the plants, and in thinking of the plants, she was suddenly reminded of what had happened the other day- She had been so busy with Warpaw, and so focused on Goldenpaw, that she had completely forgotten about congratulating Mintpaw on becoming a medicine cat. Instant guilt washed over the black she-cat. She would just have to go visit her later, and maybe while she was there she could talk to Wetpaw as well...
Greysight continued to follow the scent. She was tired, that much she knew, she was really starting to losing her focus. She knew that she had stayed out pretty late with Warpaw, but it was still really unusual. Why was it that everything was starting to feel heavy? Greysight felt as if she was bobbing back and forth, and the ground was moving beneath her. Her eyes slowly began to close, and her expression went blank. The she-cat's body stumbled on her paws for a moment before collapsing completely.
"Where...where am I?"
Drip.
Greysight's initial instinct was to go rigid from the sound, having an instant feeling of anxiety strike her heart, flushing her body with a mixture of warmth and chill from the quick reaction. However, her fur began to lie flat once more, and her heartbeat fell to a steady calm as she realized that she was in the medicine cat den. She almost scolded herself for thinking she was in a dream, one that she hadn't had in many moons no less. The sound had come from the small pool in the back where someone was gathering water with a ball of moss.
Getting used to the sharp scent of herbs always took a second, and while it wasn't necessarily the most flowery of smells, the familiarity of it helped her to relax. Her head pounded softly, and her legs felt shaky and asleep laid out beside her.
"Don't try to get up."
Greysight let her head drop back against the nest, groaning mildly in preparation for what was to come. Roseclaw had been sitting nearby waiting for her to wake up, and now that she was, the white she-cat would never let her leave.
"Greysight's up?"
Greysight listened as two cats hurried over, one much more quickly than the other. Mintpaw and Roseclaw stood by her side whilst in the back, Wetpaw finished gathering water in a ball of moss and hesitantly carried it over and dropped it beside Roseclaw who offered a quick thanks. The apprentice slinked away afterwards toward another part of the medicine cat den.
"You look good; how are you feeling?"
"Like I just ran headfirst into a tree." Greysight replied snarkily. Didn't Thistleprick do that once? She couldn't remember. "-Tired. That's it."
"You seem pretty lively to me. Thistleprick and I found you passed out in the forest on our way back, you nearly gave me a heart attack you know, I thought you might have gotten attacked." Roseclaw sighed and shook her head. "Here, let me get you something."
Greysight listened as Roseclaw moved further away to find the herbs she was looking for. "Are you sure you're feeling okay? Cats don't just pass out without good reason..." The soft, concerned voice came from Mintpaw who was still standing by her nest.
Greysight tried to grin the best she could, despite being tired. "I'm fine." she meowed, flicking Mintpaw's paws slightly with her tail. "I'm more interested in how you're doing, medicine cat."
Mintpaw's face broke out into a smile, happy that her sister had remembered after all; she had been feeling a bit hurt, thinking Greysight had forgotten- But she knew that Greysight was busy with other things, so she had tried to understand. "I'm doing great! The other medicine cats were really kind and supportive, the ceremony went well. I got my full name too, now I'm just like you. Its Mintleaf." A soft purr rumbled from within her chest and Roseclaw returned, dropping a few leaves beside Greysight.
"Here, eat these, they'll start to make you feel better."
"Yep, you need to stop growing. I bet you're already taller than me too, aren't you?" Greysight returned, paying no attention to the herbs placed beside her.
"Most everybody is taller than you." Roseclaw cut in. "Come on, eat up."
"Hey, don't go making fun of us short cats. Everyone knows we're the most useful." Much to her distaste, Greysight leaned over and licked up the herbs, chewing in her mouth with a sour expression. Of course they tasted awful, why couldn't they ever taste somewhat nice for once? She swallowed the last of it and stuck her tongue out for a moment. "Got any honey?" she asked hopefully.
"You're out of luck." Roseclaw returned. She placed the ball of wet moss from earlier beside Greysight, in case the black she-cat got thirsty and wasn't able to carry herself over to the pool.
"Mintleaf... such a pretty name. Mom would be proud of you, you know. I bet she's been watching you this entire time."
Roseclaw pushed in something beside her, fixing up the nest. Once finished she backed up and seemed to survey her handiwork. Mintleaf stepped back to give her some space. "Okay," Roseclaw meowed, "Looks like we're done here. Mintleaf, would you finish putting away the rest of the feverfew for me?"
Mintleaf blinked upon being spoken to, but after a second she was able to process Roseclaw's words and nodded. "Okay." The young medicine cat quickly went to follow her mentor's wishes; Roseclaw hadn't gotten to put them away because she had been so focused on Greysight. Thistleprick had offered to help, but after he put Greysight down she promptly shoved him out of the medicine cat den.
"So, what's the diagnosis?" Greysight asked bluntly, though it was pretty much left unsaid of what she really meant, can I leave? Fortunately Roseclaw knew her well enough to understand.
"You're going to have to stay in here for a day or two until your body recuperates-"
Greysight groaned.
"How many times have I told you? You can't push yourself like this, Greysight." Her words were spoken harshly, but a soft concern lay concealed in her voice. "Please, just take it easy. I know there's not a lot of fresh kill and it's tough for everyone, but sometimes you have to think about yourself, okay?"
Greysight rolled over and let out a small huff.
"I'll wake you up later for something to eat and your second set of herbs; for now just try to relax." She felt Roseclaw pad away, most likely to help Mintleaf sort herbs. The blind she-cat let out a breath as she tried to fall asleep, but she was just too awake. She listened for any sign of Wetpaw, but the apprentice had already left the medicine cat den, much to her disappointment. She still wanted to talk to him, and she still needed to talk to his sister as well. Really the timing of this couldn't be any worse she figured, unfortunately, it looked like the two apprentices would just have to wait.
Out in the forest another cat was experiencing problems of their own. Alone and isolated, in a place surrounded by thick brush, a tom paced back and forth through a small clearing, turning several times in his path, stopping only to look in a nearby pool of water for a long moment before moving again.
"Stop it... Stop it!"
Raggedear hissed and shook his head furiously, blinking a few times before turning around and re-tracing his steps once more, focusing wide eyes onto the ground. Had there been any spectators they surely would've thought the tom mad, talking to himself.
No one could ever know. They wouldn't understand! They'd only see him as a shadow, they wouldn't see the good he meant, they wouldn't see him for who he truly was!
Raggedear gritted his teeth and padded up to a large puddle, taking a moment to stare impassively at the clumps of dead leaves floating in the surprisingly clear, dirty- looking water. Slowly he relaxed his jaw and glanced at his reflection, hating the image of the weary looking cat staring back at him. Only his yellow eyes stood out vibrantly against his body; somber eyes, messy fur, a tattered ear. He looked like a corpse.
The dark rings circling his eyes were a sign of many sleepless nights; it hadn't been this bad in so long.
"Am I good cat?..." Raggedear meowed lowly, albeit a bit solemnly as he stared into his reflection, as if asking it for some sort of answer, expecting some sort of sign to be given to him.
Do you really think that they would ever understand?
The image narrowed it's eyes. "Go away. I'm sick of you."
You can never get away from me, Raggedear.
"You're nothing but a voice in my head! You can't do anything to me or anyone else, I won't let you."
A fierce growl met his words. I. Am. Better! Look at you, sniveling here in the woods like a kit- Its pathetic. Why don't you grow up? You don't deserve to be in a clan, you don't deserve to have them. You're nothing! I am your strength, I do everything, watching over us, making sure what needs to be done is done-
"I don't need you. I'm sick of you- I'm sick of you and your twisted thoughts! You're nothing more than a bad dream... a monster hiding in the dark."
Me? I'm the monster? A jeering scoff. Have you forgotten already?...
"No! You are and always will be! You've done nothing but make me hurt innocent cats- cats I care about. The only thing you do is bring harm to others and get in the way, you'd hurt them!"
His ears were pounding, and if not for the sharp sound of a lost drop of water falling into the puddle from above, he might have heard a response. Raggedear opened his eyes, not at all realizing before that he had clenched them shut during the argument.
He honestly had no idea how many times he had come out here, but the clearing showed clear evidence that he had. Claw marks scarred the trees, a clear indication of the tom's inner turmoil and frequenting of the, but at least it was only the trees and not his clanmates, his friends, Amberpaw, his brother, Moonfur...
He had to get away from them when things got bad and he fought for control, raging and lashing out at all the walls Raggedear had built up; and it was happening more often that he did take over, and it was all Raggedear could do to prevent that from happening around the other cats.
You don't deserve-