Bloody Rotten Burgeler (Bloody Rotten Audience)
Well here's a song I've written specifically for you
Who sit out in me golden hoard and hide through all I do
I cannot understand it because everything I see
So there must be something wrong with you; there's nothing wrong with me
You're a bloody rotten burgeler(1) whilst I am very good
If brains were made of oak and ash then you'd have balsa wood
I'm dragonly and mighty and I'm really full of class
While you're ignorant, you're cultureless, you're philistines en mass
I'm a dragon and authority on treasure and what's more
I'm incredibly informative on dwarf taste and dwarflore
I'm a wonderful gold hoarder, and so you all must be
So bloody thick and stupid not to like the likes of me
You're a bloody rotten burgeler whilst I am very good
If brains were made of oak and ash then you'd have balsa wood
I'm dragonly and mighty and I'm really full of class
While you're ignorant, you're cultureless, you're philistines en mass
I'm a dragon and that's obvious; you can tell it by me clothes
And when I burn traditional, I burn it through me nose
And if you persist in talking every time I sing a song(2)
I'll fix you with "Bold Robin Hood"; that's eighty verses long
You're a bloody rotten burgeler whilst I am very good
If brains were made of oak and ash then you'd have balsa wood
I'm dragonly and mighty and I'm really full of class
While you're ignorant, you're cultureless, you're philistines en mass
And when I burn contempor'y, me heart and soul is pure
I must be bloody brilliant 'cause me writing's so obscure
My hero's Ancalagon(3), I dig him perfectly
But I must be so much better because no one here digs me
You're a bloody rotten burgeler whilst I am very good
If brains were made of oak and ash then you'd have balsa wood
I'm dragonly and mighty and I'm really full of class
While you're ignorant, you're cultureless, you're philistines en mass
But now I'm going to burn you, 'cause I feel I'm wasting time
Could possibly we wasting yours, so you must be wasting mine
And let me tell you now that I'm not up here for me health
So if you don't show yourself to me, I'll burn this whole big house
You're a bloody rotten burgeler whilst I am very good
If brains were made of oak and ash then you'd have balsa wood
I'm dragonly and mighty and I'm really full of class
But underneath it all I'm just a pain in the flipping ass
Please review and feel free to suggest songs!
(1): this is pronounced burg-e-ler (the three syllable pronunciation of 'burlar')
(2): For the purposes of this song, Smaug considers singing to mean spraying fire with pitch and rhytem
(3): I'm not sure how this is supposed to be pronounced. I'm guessing it's pronounced like this (caps indicates stressed syllable): Ang-ka-LA-gon
