Unicorns, fairies, and her dad and her in the same room. Those were three things that Marissa had given up ever seeing in her lifetime a lot time ago. She had read stories with wild fantasies and fairytales, having the fairies help people through desolate times and unicorns came and gave magic to all those who needed it. Over the years, she gave up on seeing those things, and she also gave up on the idea of her in the same room as her father after she had left from Texas. It's safe to say that Marissa felt that for a moment that maybe all the things she never thought she'd see could magically appear as she sat in the same room with her father, Jimmy Cooper.

Marissa and Jimmy continued to merely stare at each other, both of them seeing some father-daughter resemblance. She had his soft features, the kind eyes that seemed to light up their entire faces. And while she still had the kind eyes on her delicate face, his eyes seemed to have gone bitter, lost to the sinister side of his personality, the same side that had shut her out of his life many years ago and the same side that had taken over him completely.

It didn't seem as if he was going to have the will to talk, for he was still shocked that she was in front of him. But she was different. She had thought of a vast majority of things she would say if she ever saw her dad again, cruel and petty remarks that would hopefully make him feel bad, but at the moment, she just wanted to destroy him. She wanted to rip apart the man that had made her just as reckless as he was. But as she stared into his eyes, the man known as her father, she saw that the job was already done, he was already broken and had been for a very long time.

"You ruined everything" Marissa whispered as she felt her eyes gloss over. Her father continued to stare at her, his expression somewhat softening as she spoke, just to hear her speak seemed to relieve him. "And I'm not saying this to make you feel bad because by doing that…I'm being more like you and I don't want to be. And I need you to know what you've done" Marissa said quietly. Jimmy merely stared at his daughter, the little girl he had once seen was now a woman and he felt a part of his heart ache for missing so many years of her life. "I was ten years old dad…I was a little kid…I was barely old enough to cross a street without someone holding my hand" Marissa looked off into the window that looked out across the city of Houston, she saw the sky turn dark, rain obviously on the way.

"I still remember that night perfectly…I remember what you said to me and what mom said to me before she left…but I can't remember what you said to me after she died" Marissa said as she turned back to face her dad, fury filling her blue eyes. "But that's right…you didn't say anything because I didn't exist anymore…right dad?" Marissa said as she stood up, wiping the tears from her cheeks. "She died and you abandoned me! I needed someone and you forgot about me like I didn't matter. I still haven't moved on from her dieing because you weren't there to help me move on" Marissa yelled, feeling the tears that came pouring from her eyes completely overpowering.

"You're the reason I'm like this…you're the reason I can't be with this amazing man who's perfect for me, a man who loves me and would anything for me…that's your fault" Marissa said as she started to sob. Her father had his face looking down at the ground; hiding what she thought looked like tears. Marissa grabbed her bag, placed it on her shoulder and started to move towards the door. Once she reached the door, she turned back to the slouching figure that sat on the couch. "Mom dieing, that didn't break me…you broke me. You ruined everything and I just want you to live with that, I want it to make you even more miserable with yourself than I am with myself" Marissa said as a sob escaped her dry lips, she turned the door knob and opened the door. "Bye dad" Marissa said quietly as she left his office and moved quickly down the hallway to the front doors. Once she made it to her car in the parking lot, she sat inside and felt the sobs wrack her thin and weak body.

She heard the harsh words that she had just spoken replay in her mind, wondering why the horrible feeling in her stomach hadn't disappeared when she told her dad off, once and for all. She reached down to grab her cell phone and turned it on, revealing seven new messages. She listened to each message, three from Seanna and four from Ryan from the past couple days, asking where she was and whether or not she was okay. She listened to Ryan's last message and felt her eyes gloss over with tears once again as she listened to his heartbroken voice.

"Marissa, it's me Ryan…again. I don't where you are or what you're doing…but I just hope you're okay and that you're going to come back here…" she heard him sigh loudly, "I don't know if I did something to make you leave… but I can't help but be angry at you. I'm Ryan, I'm a good person and I listen to you, I take care of you, I do everything I can to make you happy because I want to and because…I love you" Marissa felt a small smile appear on her face. "And I want to express that love for you and make everyone know that I'm in love with the most amazing girl I've ever met…and I don't know what's wrong with you that you just won't let me" he finished and she heard the click of the ended phone call.

All the triumph she had felt a few minutes before from finally saying the words to her dad seemed to disappear and be replaced with guilt and fear…the guilt of ever leaving her home and the fear of what would happen when she went back.

Marissa pulled into the familiar driveway, feeling all the nervousness fill her bloodstream. She looked around, feeling all the remorse of not coming more often. She got out of her car with the roses in her arms, the light rain coated her and she felt the shiver in her bones. She walked down the road, looking at the scenery. She reached the grave and placed the roses on the tomb, feeling heavy tears leak from her red and delicate eyes. She leaned down and did her best to remove all the access dirt and weeds from around her tomb.

Marissa pulled her jacket tighter to her body as she stood up straight, feeling her lip start to quiver. "I'm sorry that I haven't been here in a while…it was too hard to come visit" Marissa admitted quietly, feeling the words just flow from her lips. She read the words on the tomb, wishing silently that they would change, that they would be someone else but they never changed, remaining Julie Cooper forever.

"I finally talked to dad…well more like I yelled at dad and he sat silently. I hope that you're not mad at me for what I said…I was just so upset" she said as she wiped some of the tears from her cheeks. She stood tall, not caring if anyone heard her talking out loud to a tombstone, to her, it was the most normal thing she'd done in years. "I don't know what to do…Ryan loves me mom and I don't want to lose him…but I think I already have" Marissa whispered as she started to sob, the rain mixing with her tears. "You would have really liked him…he's amazing mom, he's perfect for me and I think that I love him…I just wish you were here" Marissa said as sobs escaped her lips, the rain getting harder by the second. "I need you here…just tell me what I need to do…give me a sign" Marissa said loudly.

Marissa looked around, wondering if there would any great moment or sign that would tell her exactly what to do…but nothing came. She dejectedly turned around and started walking to her car. She turned around to face the grave once more, "bye mom…I love you." With that, Marissa got back into her car and exited the cemetery, knowing that it was time to go home.

2 Days Later

Marissa opened her front, dropping her bags next to the door and hanging up her coat. She sat down on her stairs and pulled off her sneakers, lazily placing them near her bags and went to her kitchen and was shocked to see someone sitting at the table.

"What are you still doing here?" Marissa asked as she watched Seanna pick up a Starbucks drink and bring it to her lips. "I figured I'd wait for you to come home…so I could kick your ass personally" she said with a glare. Marissa sighed and sat down across from her at the table, reached over to grab Seanna's drink, much to Seanna's dismay and took a sip. "I know you're mad…but I needed to go…I just had to do this…for me" Marissa said quietly.

Seanna looked up at Marissa, connecting eyes; she looked into Marissa's eyes. It was a look that only came when her parents were involved, but this look, was far worse. It was like all your emotions bunched into one and Seanna could see it, she could see it clearly in Marissa's eyes.

"You saw your dad, didn't you?" Seanna asked. Marissa leaned back against the seat, nodding her head slowly with a sad smile on her face. "How was it?" Seanna asked, completely shocked and yet excited to hear all the information about Marissa's encounter with her father. "As well as can be expected…with our history… or lack of history" Marissa muttered as she kept her eyes on the table in front of her. Seanna reached over and placed her hand on Marissa's, catching Marissa's attention and causing her eyes to meet Seanna's.

"I'm sure you told him what he needed to hear…I'm proud of you" Seanna said and Marissa nodded. They sat in silence and Seanna continued to stare at Marissa, the once bubbly and happy Marissa was replaced, even if it only for this moment and it scared her. Almost as if she was holding every single emotion inside of her so she wouldn't have to deal with it anymore.

"Do you know that feeling when you feel like someone is sitting on your lungs…and it hurts to breathe? It's like you're numb but there's a gargantuan amount of pressure on your body and everything feels wrong" Marissa said quietly and Seanna listened intently to every word, letting it all sink in. "After my brother died…that's how I always felt" Seanna said. "It's like it hurts to do anything…and you can't think…it's like you're in a different world" Seanna added. Marissa nodded and continued to stare at her kitchen table.

Seanna leaned over and grabbed her hands, mumbling sweet nothings to her as they sat at the kitchen table together, waiting for the numbness to pass.

A little while later, they sat outside on the front porch, allowing the afternoon sun to shine on their faces. They sat silently, not speaking whatsoever. They did not need words, just the company of each other. Marissa turned to Seanna, "I think I'll go see Ryan…try to work things out with him" she said quietly and Seanna nodded. Marissa stood up, grabbing her purse in the process. "I'm sure things will be okay" Seanna said reassuringly and Marissa nodded, she walked down the front stairs to her car and left the house.

Marissa pulled into his driveway, feeling her stomach start to twist and turn, almost as if into a pretzel. She turned off the car and hesitantly got out, straightening out her clothes. She ran a hand through her long hair, wishing she had at least taken a shower before she came because the shower she had taken last night at the hotel seemed to do nothing. She went up his front steps and knocked on the door, feeling her heart beat almost just as loud. The door opened and there he stood, certainly surprised that she was at the door but he didn't look excited, quite the opposite actually, more weary and tired.

It's not right, not okay.
Say the words that you say.

Marissa smiled weakly, almost trying to reassure herself. "Hi" she said and Ryan nodded, he opened the screen door and stepped onto the patio right next to her. They stood in front of one another, looking around and catching glimpses of one another every few seconds. "I don't know why you left…or where you went…or what you did…" he said trailing off. "That's what I wanted to talk to you about" she started and was surprised when he held his hand up to her, stopping her.

Maybe we're better off this way?
I'm not fine, I'm in pain.
It's harder everyday.

"Just let me finish" he said and she watched as he stuffed his hands deep in his jean pockets. "I just think that maybe…this is more of a one sided relationship. You know how I feel about you and I don't think you feel the same…so I think that maybe we should stop seeing each other" he said quietly, almost painfully. Marissa felt her heart drop and she felt her eyes start to water. "My job on your house is done…so you can give the check to my partner Brian" he said as he looked away from her.

Maybe we're better off this way?
It's better that we break…

Marissa wiped the tears from her cheeks and did her best to hold in all the tears that she could. "You've been pulling away from me and as much as I want to stop you, this is something that only you can stop" he said and turned to her, feeling lower than low as he looked at her crying eyes. "I'm sorry Marissa…" she heard him say and felt all power leave her body, not knowing what to do or say, only being able to cry. Ryan turned and opened his screen door and she felt her body react immediately, reaching out and grabbing his arm and turning him around to face her.

So you sitting all alone,
You're fragile and you're cold, but that's all right.
Life these days is getting rough.

She moved into his arms and kissed him softly, "please don't do this…" she said through tears after she pulled away from his lips. She kept a grasp on the front of his shirt and he merely pulled away, "I don't want to lose you…" she said quietly with pleading eyes that he seemed to lose himself in, like usual. But this time was different, they weren't the same and they both knew that. "But you don't want to keep me either, now do you?" he rebutted.

To that, she had no reply.

Seanna heard her car pull up in the driveway and pulled down the box of pizza on the table and moved to the door where a dazed Marissa came to the door. She came inside and came face to face with a concerned Seanna. "What happened?" Seanna asked quietly, to scared to think about what could have possibly happened. Marissa felt the heavy sobs escape her lips, the sobs and emotions that she had been trying to hold in all day come out all in one.

They've knocked you down and beat you up.
But it's just a rollercoaster anyway, yeah..

Seanna pulled Marissa into her arms, "he broke up with me" she said through sobs and Seanna sat down with Marissa on the couch, allowing her to lay down and place her head in Seanna's lap as Seanna laced her fingers through Marissa's curly and long blonde tresses.

I'm not fine, I'm in pain.
It's harder everyday…

"I wish my mom was here" she said through sobs and Seanna felt herself start to cry lightly. Seanna held her tighter and kissed the top of her head, "I know sweetie…I'm so sorry" Seanna whispered into her hair, knowing that no words could ever make her feel better. It seemed as if nothing could be controlled anymore, it was all up in air…and it was crashing down on them.

Maybe we're better off this way?
It's better that we break, baby.