Today was the day.
Today was the day that five new people would enter into the world. Today was the day that Finn and Achor would have something to be proud of. Today was the day…of Finn and Achor's children's birth.
It was a regular day until Lady Rainicorn was hurrying to the Candy Kingdom. Jake, Charlie, T.V., Viola, Kim Kil Whan, Jake Jr., and BMO were riding her. They had been hurrying because if they didn't, they would miss the children's birth. "Faster! Faster! Hurry up! We wouldn't want to miss the children's birth!" Jake said to Lady. "I'm hurrying! I'm hurrying!" she said back in Korean.
"Uh, dad, why are we going really fast towards the Candy Kingdom?" T.V. asked. Jake replied with, "Look, it's a long story, but…" "Please don't tell it, then." T.V. said. Jake said back, "The point is, Finn and Achor are having babies." "I understand completely!" T.V. said. Then, they continued hurrying toward the Candy Kingdom.
Until they were stopped by the Banana Guards, that is. "Halt!" one said, "No one is allowed to enter the Candy Kingdom until further notice!" "Look," Jake replied, "I know Finn's wife is giving birth, but the point is, I am his brother, this is my family, and we should have permission to see the birth." "Yes," BMO said, "I should see it too, because technically Finn and Jake take care of me." The Banana Guards thought about it for a moment.
After a moment, the Banana Guards got out of their way. "You may pass." The second one said. After that, all the people who were riding Lady Rainicorn were running towards the hospital. Lady was following them. "To the hospital!" Jake said.
When they got inside the hospital, everybody was in the way. One of those people was Peppermint Butler. He was with Princess Bubblegum. "You guys wouldn't want to get too close," Peppermint Butler said to our protagonists, "Otherwise you would ruin everything! The delivery is still going on." They ignored them and walked past the crowd and to the side of Achor's bed, where Finn was.
"Jake?" Finn said. "Finn!" Jake said, "I came just in time for the birth, didn't I?" "Yeah, you did," Finn said, "The delivery is about to take place!" "All systems go," Dr. Ice Cream said, "Blood levels are normal. We're ready!"
Then, the delivery took place.
"Baby Number 1 is exiting the womb." Nurse Pound Cake said. Finn stood in front of Achor. "Baby Number 2 is exiting the womb." Finn's eyes grew wide. "Baby Number 3 is exiting the womb!" Finn stuck his arms out. "Baby Number 4 is exiting the womb." "Come to daddy, come to daddy, come to daddy," Finn said. "Baby Number 5 is exiting the womb." Dr. Princess pushed Finn out of the way. "Finn," she said, "I am a professional and you aren't. I should take care of this." "Babies 1 through 5 are stuck!" Nurse Pound Cake yelled, "We need the crank! Dr. Ice Cream, give her some sugar!"
Then, Dr. Donut ran into the room with a machine that looked like two hooks stuck to a metal crank. Then, Dr. Donut went up to Achor. Dr. Ice Cream prepared for the sugar. "Ready?" Dr. Ice Cream said. "Ready!" Dr. Donut replied. "Okay, commence the expansion!"
Then, Dr. Donut stuck the machine to Achor and started cranking while Dr. Ice Cream smeared sugar on her face. Then, Dr. Donut stopped cranking and Dr. Ice Cream stopped smearing the sugar. Then, Dr. Princess stood there; her arms stuck out, crouched down a bit, and prepared herself.
Suddenly, five babies popped out very fast and landed in Dr. Princess's arms and it tipped her over. Then, she got back up with the five babies in her hand.
Then, Dr. Donut cranked on Achor backwards and put the crank away. "Whoa, dude," Jake said to Finn, "That was one math birth! It had a crank and everything! I didn't get that type of birth from Lady Rainicorn. I'm a bit jealous!" Finn shrugged.
After a couple of hours or so, everyone left but Finn, Achor, Lady Rainicorn, the people who rode on her back, and of course, the five babies.
"Yay!" BMO said, "You now have kids! I want to see them!" "All right," said Finn, "We'll put them on the table!" Then, Finn put the five babies on the table. "We took two hours coming up with names, but it was totally worth it! Everybody, meet William, Evan, Owen, Achor Jr., and Scarlet."
I bet you are excited already. Let me tell you: I was, too. Anyway, I will give somewhat-brief descriptions of the five babies that Finn and Achor gave birth to. Here we go:
William Mertens was a cutie. He had blond hair just like his dad, except that the hair on the left side of his head pointed left and the hair on the right side of his head pointed right. His favorite hobbies would be photography and making sculptures. Also, like every single one of Finn and Achor's kids, he was ½ human, ¼ candy person, and ¼ alien.
Evan Mertens was also a cutie. He had blond hair, but unlike William, Evan's hair was exactly like his dad's. He even wore a bunny hat very similar to Fionna's, but the ears were longer and they flopped. His favorite hobbies would be playing video games and adventuring; just like his dad!
Owen Mertens was somewhat of a cutie. His hair was like William's except that the color was a mixture of blond and pink. I have no idea what a mixture of blond and pink is, so tell me, okay? His favorite hobbies would be exploring and finding very rare and arcane artifacts.
Achor Mertens, Jr. was as cute as her mom. Her hair was pink like her mom's and the style made it look like she just stepped right out of the shower. Her favorite hobbies would be exploring with Owen, finding very rare and arcane artifacts with Owen, and occasionally, playing video games with Evan.
Scarlet Mertens had heterochromia. In case if you don't know what that means, according to , it means "a difference in coloration in two structures or two parts of the same structure that are normally alike in color." In fact, her dad has heterochromia, too! However, rather than having heterochromia in her eyes, (Finn's left eye turns green when he's hypnotized) she has heterochromia in her hair. It's both blond and pink! Her favorite hobbies are being a rock star, writing songs, and doing awesome covers of already-existing songs.
These five children were very playful on their first day in Ooo. Finn, Achor, Jake, Lady, Charlie, T.V., Viola, Kim Kil Whan, Jake Jr., and BMO all played with the children. Charlie liked William. T.V. played with Evan the most. Viola grew fond of Owen. Kim Kil Whan was often seen playing with Achor Jr. Finally; Jake Jr's favorite child was Scarlet. Then, it grew night.
It was time for everybody to go to bed. "Jake," Finn said, "Me and Achor are going to live here from now on. We need to stay close to the children!" "Oh," Jake replied, "That's fine. But hey, at least I have all these wonderful people! See you soon, Finn!" "Bye!" Finn and Achor said. Then, everybody but Finn, Achor, and their children left the Candy Kingdom.
Let's flash-forward to 6:26 A.M. It was still dark outside. Finn, however, got up super early because he needed to check on the children to make sure they were okay. However, when he checked the crib, they were gone.
"Oh my Glob!" Finn whispered loudly, "Achor, Achor! The babies are gone!" "Oh my Glob!" Achor exclaimed.
"Finn, Finn…" a voice said. "What is that?" Finn said. "Whatever it is," Achor said, "This is a red alert!" Then, she pushed the red alert button next to her bed.
The sirens all over the castle set off. Everybody in the kingdom woke up. Then, everybody got up from their beds, got dressed, and had a meeting in Achor's bedroom. Even her mom was there!
"Attention, candy people!" Achor exclaimed, "Our children are gone!" Everybody gasped. Achor continued, "We will search all throughout the castle to see where my babies went! Anyone slacking off will receive a ticket. Any questions?" Nobody raised their hands. "Good! Now, let's search!" Everybody did.
However, the voice saying, "Finn, Finn…" spoke throughout the castle everywhere. This led to Finn and Achor following the voice from the main hall to the kitchen to the dining room. Then, they heard the voice again. "It sounded like it was coming from your room!" Finn said. "I agree. Let's go!" Achor replied. Then, they followed that voice to Achor's room.
"Finn…" the voice said. "Huh?" Finn replied. Then, two ghosts appeared and stood in front of Finn and Achor, staring prominently at them. And these were the ghosts of…
…Joshua and Margaret.
In case if you don't know, (Which is unlikely that you don't know, so if you do know, skip this part) Joshua and Margaret are Jake's dead parents and Finn's dead adoptive parents. That would mean Finn and Jake are brothers from another mother! One day, Joshua and Margaret found Finn as a baby on a leaf that he pooped on. They thought he was a mudfish, (Hence the name Finn!) so they took him home thinking to boil and eat him. However, they soon realized that Finn had funny arms, so they laughed at him. Because he was worth a few laughs, they decided to adopt and love him. The rest is history. Their death remains a mystery…
…Until now.
Yep, I am going to tell you the death of Joshua and Margaret. Apparently, they traveled forward in time for some reason and met the Adgup. Then, the Adgup exiled them from Ooo into this strange dimension called Limbo, where everybody is a spirit. Then, they died from a lack of oxygen. Why is this?
It turns out that the Shape-shifter and the Adgup were first cousins.
"Who are those?" Achor asked Finn. "Alright, I'll tell you…" said Finn. Then, she told her everything: the finding, the adopting, a few revelations, the exile, and the death. When he was finished, Achor got it.
"Finn," the ghost of Joshua said, "We took your babies away because five is enough." "WHAT?" Finn and Achor said. The ghost of Joshua continued, "Finn and Achor, when Jake had kids, we were glad to be grandparents. However, we think that five is enough. So, we are going to eat your kids."
When, they heard this, they went psycho. Then, Finn tried to attack the ghosts, but they already disappeared. "You cannot stop us, Finn," the ghost of Joshua said, "There's no stopping this now." Then, Finn said to Achor, "I have an idea, Achor!" Then, he went into the closet.
When he came out, he was wearing a green hat with an L on it, overalls, a green undershirt, a mustache, and a vacuum. "We are going to suck them in!" Finn said. Achor looked totally confused. "Okay," she said, "Lose the costume and you're all set!"
Then, Finn and Achor traversed the castle looking for the ghosts of Joshua and Margaret. Suddenly, in the kitchen, the ghosts pooped out. "You can't stop us, Finn!" the ghost of Joshua yelled. Then, Finn hit the suck button and just before the ghosts were going into the bowels of the vacuum, Joshua yelled, "No! This is not the end of my story! This is not the end of my world! It shouldn't be! Aaaaaaaaaaaahhhhh!" "We did it!" Finn yelled, then high-fived Achor. Then, they heard…rustling in the vacuum. Finn opened it.
It turned out that the kids were right there. Finn took them out, put them back in the crib, and Finn said, "We saved you kids! You all should be glad!"
"Dad, we were just fine!" William said. Finn's eyes grew wide. Whaaaaaaaaat? he thought. "Yeah, we were having fun until you had to ruin the party!" Evan said. "They really weren't going to eat us. They lied to you. We were having fun!" Owen said. "However, we still love you, dad." Achor Jr. said. "You're the best dad ever!" Scarlet said. Then, all five of the children jumped up and hugged Finn. Then, the sun rose. "Alright," Finn said to the children, "Who wants breakfast?" "I do! I do! I do!" the children said.
Back at Lady Rainicorn's house, Jake, Lady, their children, and BMO were playing Go Fish. "T.V., got any kings?" Jake asked. "It's my last card." T.V. said. Then, he handed Jake the card. "I win!" Jake exclaimed, "I won 58 games in a row!" Then, Finn entered.
"Finn! How did it go?" Jake said. "Good," Finn said, "It turns out that my children grew as fast as yours. They're basically teenagers now. Scarlet is only 2 years younger than me. That's okay, however, because I got a family right here!" Then, all of the people in the house hugged.
Speaking of aging up fast, did you know that as long as the mother or father has that stinger there, the aging is passed down to the offspring? William is 13, Evan is 14, Owen and Achor Jr. are each 15, and Scarlet is 16. Like Jake's children, they're living somewhere else, but unlike Jake's children, they all live in one place. It's a place full of tents that are grouped together and it's very near where Finn and Flame Princess first kissed. They call it "Camp Mertens."
Next chapter in The Legend of Achor: A monster roams the Camp Mertens area! Which monster is it? Is it really real or just a hoax? A new couple gets together! Who are those people? You get to find out next time in The Legend of Achor!