It sits in the family

by Flagarach

Though luck, will and sheer determination Kusanagi Shizuka managed to slay a deity, becoming the eighth godslayer in the process. Now this is the story about how her life got turned upside down, forcing her to deal with mages, heretic gods and fellow Campione. But most importantly, can she keep her new-found powers a secret from her totally not also a Campione brother?

11. and into the Fire

Bacchus... who would've thought that he would turn on Shizuka like this? Damn it, just when she hoped that her holiday could be calm and peaceful, and this guy had to ruin it!

"Oh fire, descend form the heavens!" But if it's a fight he wants, then it's a fight he gets. Shizuka won't let herself be rolled over!

Bacchus too summons his authority, his domain of power: "Fair Bacchantes, bear cymbals, flutes and thyrses! Wild from Naxian groves and Zante's vineyards, sing delirious verses!"

As Bacchus sings these verses the air around him corrupts, twisted malignantly until it became harsh and abnormal. The humans who were applauding Bacchus just a minute ago are now unconscious, poisoned from the very air they breathe. Even Shizuka finds her breathing slightly inconvenienced, though she can manage.

However, it's not exactly poisoning the air. The only ones fainting here are humans. A domestic parakeet, just a few meters away from Shizuka, seems fine. It isn't affected at al-

Skraaa!

The parakeet lets out a loud roar, louder then should be naturally possible. Its body expands, hulks out. Shizuka isn't sure how, but the parakeet is… transforming? The feathers look more like razor-sharp blades, and why does that beak have teeth in it?

The steel cage that used to hold this beast stretches a bit before shattering under the new-found size of this monster bird. It quickly grows several meters, settling down when it's the size of a large car. It's also quite angry, rushing at Shizuka in a violent frenzy. Shizuka can only barely avoid getting hit by one of the beast's pecks, which seems to have developed a lust for Shizuka's blood.

An authority that turns normal animals into wild beasts? What kind of absurd authority is this?

Well, time to negate the effects of this authority. "Fire of sanctity, hereby I command: purify evil, nullify the wicked!" Different from nullifying magic like [Disaster purification] or [Fairy's blessing], this makeshift spell of Shizuka means to burns away evil while keeping the just intact. To do so Shizuka used about half of her stone of fire, a sacrifice well worth it if it prevents the creation of these monstrous divine beasts.

Blue fire surrounds the giant bird, which stopped to hunt Shizuka to deal with this strange situation. It tries to flap with its wings, or swipe with its tail, but nothing seems to extinguish these weird flames.

Suddenly the parakeet cries out in pain, proof that this technique of Shizuka is working. The bird shrinks down, and the fire increases in size the more the bird turns back to normal.

Hang on… the fire grows? That was not what Shizuka planned to do. Why would this authority suddenly do that? Shizuka's eyes go wide, suddenly realizing that she made a big mistake! Quickly she changes [Fire] for the more defensive earth, as now she must defend herself from her own authority:

"As the sovereign of earth, grant upon me a shield to resist all flames!" Quickly a multi-layered wall of earth surrounds Shizuka, and not too soon as the blue fire turns into a loud explosion.

Stupid, stupid, stupid! How could Shizuka forget the most important part of her authority! The elemental chain! This authority of Bacchus that poisons and maddens the air, it's equal to Shizuka's wood. This wood feeds Shizuka's fire, increasing its power but also destabilizing it! That caused the explosion, her fire went berserk by Bacchus' power! It's a small wonder Shizuka didn't have any mayor problems with this before.

Dismissing the earth wall Shizuka sees what exactly her flames caused: The humans who fell unconscious on the ground are now either dead, on fire or dead and on fire. The parakeet is long gone too.

Her father… Shizuka cannot find him. Is he simply not here? Did he get burned beyond recognition? What happened to dad?! What happened to him! "Dad? Dad!"

Shizuka screams it out, trying to hope if there is any contact. She has basically forgotten about her fight, only keeping half an eye on that god. Now she just wants her family to be okay. To have caused her father's own death, along with these other people… Shizuka doesn't even want to think about it.

Frantically she searches around for an answer, hoping to hear any plea of live. Dad… someone… anyone would do! Just don't die here!

Shizuka isn't even hearing Bacchus speak his next chants, words of arrogance and dominance:

"Hades! Is this one not Bacchus, the twice-born, he who came back from the dead? Fear the liberator, for he took his mother back from the underworld! Fear the ever prevailing, for he restored the honor of his wife by descending to you, Hades! Fear this lord, for once more he will prove his dominance over death's domain. Those souls are my proof of glory!"

As the last words flows out of Bacchus' mouth the dead bodies start to regain form, the burned tissue restoring. The dead people are standing up, quickly being restored to its former glory. The humans are looking around, wondering what just happened. Some are a bit panicking, others still dazed, but they're certainly alive.

Shizuka too looks around in wonder, amazed at this miracle. The thing that snaps her out of it is one word of a very dear person:

"Shizuka-chan!" Her father, who she had presumed dead, is standing there, running towards Shizuka. "Is everything okay with my dearest daughter?!"

Her father is alive. Kusanagi Genzou, along with the rest of the humans, is fully okay. The parakeet though seems to be still dead, as one of the woman is currently crying about the loss of her pet.

Shizuka doesn't care about the live of just one animal when her father returned from the underworld She runs towards her father, ready to fall into his arms… until all humans suddenly stand perfectly still and turn away from Shizuka, causing her to stop in her tracks.

"Hey king, you surely didn't forget about little ol' me, did you? We still have a battle going on right here!"

"N-No, of course I did not forget." She did. She completely forgot about Bacchus' existence. Looking around her Shizuka does have another question for the god: "That aside, were you the one who resurrected all these people?"

"Of course it was none other than me!" the god of wine talks with wild vigor, speaking in bright colors about his deeds. "Who else is capable of such a feat? Who else can create such miracles? Humans, what is the name of the great god who did all this?"

"Bacchus! Bacchus! Bacchus!" As one the populace cheers, once more being controlled by the Roman god. He revels in it, clearly enjoying all the attention he is getting.

"Indeed! It is I, Bacchus! Sing praises for the glorious me!"

As much of an attention whore Bacchus is, Shizuka must admit that for once he did a good job. Shizuka politely bows in front of Bacchus, thanking him for his actions: "I'm very grateful to you for resurrecting everyone here. Please, accept my heartfelt gratitude."

"Uhm… well, it's nothing." For the first time since Shizuka met him Bacchus looks visibly shaken, as if he did not expect such a compliment from his opponent. "I just wanted to get myself an audience. What is a god without those who follow him? Humans, show your allegiance once more!"

As Bacchus speaks these words he raises a fist in the air, making the humans erupt in a mass of clapping and cheering. Everyone, including Genzou and the woman who lost her bird, forgets about their past and praise this god into the high heavens.

"Even so, you did resurrect all these people, including my own father. It's a magnificent act of kindness you performed here." If the only thing that makes Bacchus lose his cool is being nice and kind, then Shizuka sees no reason to stop. She is Japanese after all, and this is just the thing her people are good at. "Truly, I owe you for this feat."

"N-Now, don't confuse this with anything else!" Bacchus starts to visibly sweat, not liking the direction of this conversation. It starts to remind him a bit too much of speaking with any of the Olympians… well, except for Ares, that brute couldn't even make full sentences. "This was a purely selfish motivation. I didn't try to help you or anything."

"Now, don't sell yourself short, Bacchus." Putting on her best fabricated smile Shizuka does her best to unsettle this god. "You did an amazing job, and should actually be rewarded for it. I'm afraid that I've nothing at hand, but surely something can be arranged for you."

Bacchus' face starts to contort a bit, and the cheering of the humans has died down. He isn't angry at all; all he feels is a combination of annoyance and reluctance. This cannot continue at all.

"Urgh… enough!" Bacchus shouts out loudly, showing clear dislike on his face. "This is boring. I thought that a grandiose battle would lift my spirit a bit, but this is no fun at all…" He jumps off his gaudy chariot, walking towards Shizuka. "Perhaps if it was that idiot from home it would be fun, but you're way too polite and stuff to have a full-out fight with. It's… look, can we end this battle here?"

Bacchus summons a small olive branch, and hands it out to Shizuka. In ancient times this was a sign of peace, of acceptance. Shizuka accepts this offer eagerly, almost too eagerly for her own liking. With that action the duel is to an end, with a total victim count of one parakeet. His death will not be mourned.

And so, for the first time in history, politeness triumphs over war! It's a surprisingly nice change of pace for Shizuka.

"So, do we part now as friends?" A bit anticlimactically, yes, but a good enough ending if you ask Shizuka.

"Eh?" Bacchus looks puzzled. He doesn't seem to understand the words that come out of Shizuka's mouth. "Part? Why should we part? We may have stopped fighting, but we're not done dueling!"

We're not? Now it is Shizuka who doesn't understand what this god of wine is saying, so all she can let out is a flat "What?".

"You're right that we're done with fighting. It was short and without doubt bothersome, so we quit with that. However, that doesn't mean that I don't want to defeat you!"

Out of the frying pan, and into the fire. Shizuka's problems don't seem to be over yet. "And how do you want to defeat me if you don't want to fight?"

Bacchus gives a smug smirk of superiority, as if he is looking down on the silly little godslayer. "Then how do humans settle duels? If the only thing they did was fighting, a god like me wouldn't even exist!" That, and those Greeks would like Ares a lot more other than his role as a total joke. Hah, even though he became the Roman's favorite god, it's still fun to make laugh at Mars' past!

"Ugh, do we really have to do that?"As happy and jovial Bacchus is, Shizuka is the exact opposite. Can't the gods just leave her alone for a while? When she expected a trip to the Caribbean she expected calm and peace. Gods usually only spawn in their (former) domain of influence, and the Caribbean isn't exactly known for its myth and folklore. This should be a god-free zone, not a place to meet the Roman god of wine and madness!

"Truly, I owe you for this feat." Bacchus says, imitating Shizuka's tone and mannerisms. "Your words, not mine."

Tsk. Shizuka must admit that Bacchus has a point. Her flattery, however effective it may be, did leave her with a bit of a debt, and that god is willing to exploit that fact.

The young godslayer cuts her losses and concede defeat on this matter. "Fine then. How do you want to fight it out?"

Bacchus starts to smile, a cue for Shizuka that someone is going to speak in his over-the-top persona: "Of course, the only way we can duel is with the most honorable, most manly, most awesome, most spectacular way possible!"

Shizuka makes a small quip that's she's a female, but it seems to be ignored by Bacchus, and drowned out by the cheers of the humans and satyrs when Bacchus makes the proposal:

"The only way we can decide who is the better of us two… is a drinking competition!"

…

Really? Is he serious?

"I think that a drinking match against the god of wine sounds hardly fair. Besides, I'm thirteen. I don't think it's good for me to drink more than three glasses of alcohol per day." In general, it isn't allowed for any Japanese below the age of twenty to drink alcohol. However, Shizuka considers herself to be somewhat of an exception to this rule. If she did follow the rules that much she wouldn't be a godslayer to begin with.

"Hey missy, you're a godslayer. You've probably already got murder, deicide and mass destruction behind you. Being drunk in public won't influence your record by that much." Damn, for a god of madness he's surprisingly eloquent! Can't he stop making up good points for a drinking match? "Besides, our bodies don't exactly get damaged from overexposure to alcohol. At worst, we'll feel a bit sick tomorrow, but there's no permanent damage done."

No, it seems that Bacchus can't stop bringing up good points. Even so, even so… "Isn't there anything else we can do? No matter how you persuade me, I think that a drinking contest against the god of wine is a bit slanted towards you."

"Well, you do have a point there. In that case, since both battles and drinking contests are out, how about we settle it with my third and final idea:" Bacchus raises his hand in the air, and one of the satyrs manages to throws some stick-shaped item at its lord. Without moving Bacchus catches the stick, causing him to… transform, for lack of a better word:

His blond mane is covered by a blue baseball cap and a black bandana, a bunch of golden chains hang around his neck over his still naked torso, golden rings, oversized sunglasses and a single large earring on his right ear. What's more, the stick changed into a microphone.

Okay, the hell?

"Let us settle our differences with an awesome rap battle! This god be pimping! keeping it 100 with you, no Vaseline: I'll sent dimes like you back to the dukes like I've cut them! Now, ready to dance with the devil, shawty? {1}"

"On second thought, that drinking contest doesn't sound so bad after all." Because it is better than this absurd stupidity. Shizuka doesn't even understand half of the slang Bacchus is using, seemingly untranslatable even for her omnilingual powers.

Bacchus doesn't even seem sad as Shizuka rejects his third idea in favor of the second. This was probably his goal all along, and that's why he exaggerated his second idea so much. Yeah, Shizuka's been duped here. Bacchus clearly got the favorable deal out of this conversation.

The god of wine is now preparing the chant for his most famous and well-known authority: "Bring me wine, but wine that never grew in the belly of the grape / Or wine, whose tap-roots suffer no savor of the earth to scape!"

With singing voice Bacchus speaks this incantation, causing large wooden barrels to surround the area. Shizuka doesn't even need to guess what's inside of it.

"Let its grapes the morn salute from a nocturnal root/ which feeds the acrid juice from Styx and Erebus / And turn the woe of night, by its own craft, to a more rich delight!"

In total around ten barrels stand here, each one containing the standard amount of wine: 225 liters. More than enough for this competition.

Looking to the side Shizuka sees that the satyrs have made a table and chairs out of sand, with pillows and a blanket to keep everything clean. Bacchus invites Shizuka to the table, which would be somewhat romantic were it not for the fact that it's done by a god who seeks a drinking challenge. The humans and satyrs follow, but keep a bit of distance of this duo. They're not to intervene here.

Both contestants take their seats, and Bacchus explains the rules to Shizuka: "Now, as you can see, these barrels here contain the crème de la crème, a work of art that stands at the pinnacle of winemaking. It's also one of the few wines that can make even me drunk. It has the same effect on gods and godslayers, so there's no need to worry about this battle being unfair. Such a victory wouldn't feel right to me."

Shizuka has no reason to put doubt on that claim. Bacchus is a glory hound. He's not the type who would obtain victory by cheating, such a thing would make him the "evil" guy people are not supposed to root for. If he did that then he would find neither fame nor joy in such a shallow victory.

No, this battle will be completely fair. Shizuka or Bacchus? Who can best hold their liquor?

"Now, the satyrs will stay sober for this, so they can function as the judges: you pass out, you lose; you puke, you lose; You stop drinking, you lose; Spill your drink, you lose; You hinder the other's ability to drink, you lose. Clear?"

Crystal. Shizuka is ready for this contest. While there's nothing but pride at stake her nature does not allow her to lose here.

Both parties are handed a wine-drinking cup with a broad body and two horizontal handles. It's the traditional cup of the ancient Mediterranean people, a kylix. One of the Satyrs bottles wine from the larger barrels, and these bottles are used to pour the drinks. They're on the small side for bottles, and the content of one of these is just enough to fill a drinking cup. It's an ingenious system that ensures both sides of an equal amount of wine.

"I suppose we should say cheers, then." Shizuka lifts her glass, waiting to toast glasses with Bacchus.

"Yes, we should. It's only appropriate, right?" Bacchus accepts this gesture, lifting his glass in response to Shizuka.

A loud clink signifies the toast, and with a loud "Cheers!" both drink their first glass of wine.

It's chugged quickly by both sides, which is a real shame if you ask Shizuka. This is some prime quality wine, it's almost a shame it's used for a contest like this!

Before Shizuka can have more of these thoughts, her glass is filled again, forcing her to drink again.

They both drink cup after cup, fighting to see which one of the two will stand at the top.

-x-

21st of December, late afternoon.

John Pluto Smith. Fifth of the devil kings in the world, he's the superhero of Los Angeles. However, this does not mean that he does not help with divine problems outside of his city. So long as the god descended somewhere in North- or Middle-America he would make some time free to help with the slaying or repelling of that god. So too this time, when he heard of reports that a god had descended in the Caribbean.

Of course, to simply stroll in and fight the enemy is not Smith's style. No, he would wait for the opportune moment, the climax, and then drop in like a superhero. He would always be late but never too late.

When he heard news of another king being in that spot for the holidays he was quite happy that the situation would likely not need his help. If there is no need for a godslayer to arrive, then perhaps some investigations should be done by a "follower", so to say:

Annie Charlton. A woman of twenty-seven years old, of Caucasian origin with vibrant red hair in a short cut. An icy beauty, whose only flaw is a lack of gentle femininity. When she was a teen she slayed the Aztec god Tezcatlipoca, becoming the fifth godslayer in the process. She is the true identity of superhero John Pluto Smith.

Acting as a mere subject of the fifth king she would scout the situation, and apply help if needed. If the situation took a turn for the worse, then Smith could always suddenly appear and fight against evil.

However, when she arrived she did not expect the fight between god and Campione to go this way: A lot of humanoid beasts called Satyrs are currently setting up makeshift benches, places in a large circle around a single podium. In fact, it looks a lot like a Greco-Roman amphitheater is being built here.

The humans at the scene, who from the looks of it are clearly hypnotized, are all taking seats on the benches, and those who don't have seats yet simply wait until some are constructed for them.

Annie approaches one of the satyrs, one that looks like all the others but is clearly giving orders to some his kin. "Excuse me, could you tell me what exactly is going on here?"

To simply approach a supernatural beast is quite foolish for a human mage, something that might make Annie's guise of normalcy less plausible, but these seem rather friendly compared to those she usually deals with.

"Ah, miss, to not be affected, I assume you are a mage then?" Annie nods without expressing any form of emotion, so the satyr simply continues. "Our god Bacchus had the sudden whim to perform in a theater, so we are now constructing one for him. We would like it if you too could watch his grandiose performance. This time, we even have one of those godslayers showing as a guest star!"

One of those godslayers? Discounting herself, who could possibly show up like this? Marquis Voban isn't interested in theatrics, and would just fight him; Her eminence would not leave her home for something as ridiculous as this; Madame Aisha might be possible, though only because Annie doesn't know her that well; Black prince Alexandre wouldn't be caught dead in such a ridiculous situation; Sir Salvatore… might in fact do this; Kusanagi Godou? Hmm, unlikely he would focus on that. He's a bit too obsessed with women to partake in activities like this.

So Doni is the most likely, perhaps Aisha in other cases. Well, if it just ends in theatre, then perhaps there is no need for the legendary superhero to appear.

"I would be willing to see this divine play here." Spoken without charm, once more Annie's flaws come up again. "Could you assign me a place to sit?"

"Of course, m'lady." The satyr brings Annie to an edge seat on the fifth row, somewhat elevated so that a good view of the podium is possible.

The podium itself is quite large, only slightly smaller than half a football field. Why would a god need so much space? What kind of theatrical play is he planning?

The satyr has not left Annie's place, but stands on the steps leading to the fifth row, right next to Annie. He had no intention of leaving yet, as he simply takes the seat next to Annie.

"Well, the play is about to begin. Let's enjoy this spectacle together, okay?"

Is… is this satyr hitting on her? Well, talk about chanceless! "Yes, let's see what will happen."

Just as Annie speaks these cold words the curtains of the stage open, revealing a single satyr sitting on one of those chairs lifeguards use. Clearly having the role of the narrator, he starts to speak with compelling voice:

"Greetings, oh public. Welcome to this place of magic and mystery. Many see this world as ordinary, a place where dreams and hopes have died down, but nothing could be further from the truth. This world is filled with mages, gods, and most importantly Campione. These legendary humans managed to do the impossible. They managed to slay one of these legendary divine beings, obtaining the god's power and claiming the title of devil king. A rare feat, of which there are currently only eight alive."

Eight? That word is what shocks Annie the most. Why did the announcer say that there are eight? There is one obvious solution, but that one is considered near impossible. The chance of a new king this close to another, it's something that can be considered a miracle. Can it truly be that such a thing happened?

"For my master Bacchus a king can be many things: an ally, a worthy opponent, or an eternal enemy. The true worth of the king will be determined by the Campione's first encounter with the liberating god of wine, and that moment is today."

The narrator falls silent, and a red carpet temporarily closes off the podium. Soft noises can be heard from on stage, where the satyrs are setting up the first act. Within as little as half a minute the stage has been set, and somehow the stage looks more like a beach than the beach this theatre is built on.

There is no one on stage, except for an Asian girl in a purple bikini. Looking with a sharp glance Annie studies this girl in her early teens, and it is easy to tell that they are of the same kind. They both belong in the league of supermorons who managed to kill a god.

The girl stands up, albeit a bit clumsily. Annie doesn't know why, but for some reason it seems that her footing is a bit unsteady, though she still seems to hold herself somewhat rightly.

"Now, what a beautiful day on these islands. It is perfect for a holiday. I hope that nothing interrupts this holiday of mine."

The thundering noise of hooves is heard from the right side of the podium, as from the sky descends what gives off the power of a god. He is riding a horse… which is standing on a chariot pulled by two cheetahs, which is standing on a chariot driven by three tigers. What an utterly ridiculous contraption.

"Behold, for I, Bacchus has arrived!" He jumps off the chariot, and lands with bit of a stumble, like he's not in balance of his body. "Now, audience, cheer! Cheer for the great god!"

Bacchus raises his hands in the air, causing everyone to cheer. The humans because they were still mind-controlled, the satyrs because it's their job as subordinate familiars of a god, and Annie because she doesn't think it is wise to single herself out like this.

"Hey, you!" While Bacchus is still enjoying the grandiose applause the other person on stage is not letting it go this easily. "Yeah, I'm talking to you!" She points her finger at Bacchus, who gives a look of fake surprise at seeing the eighth king on stage. "What's… what's a god doing here?" Now the godslayer is stumbling over her own words, and both kings seem a bit… slow, for lack of a better word.

These symptoms these two have been showing. It's quite a bit like herself, when she grabs the bottle after some rough times (Information presented by professor J. West, one of the few who know Smith's true identity). So, does that mean… Are these two…

"Damn it, these two are completely ruining the script!" The satyr next to Annie is almost raging, making her lose focus on the play. "We satyrs worked for at least two hours on this, painstakingly obeying every absurd order, and then those two drunkards ruin it!"

"They're drunk?"

"Isn't that obvious? Just look at them!" Yes, the satyr has a point, but that's not the answer Annie is looking for.

"What I mean is, how did these two become so plastered?" The must be some reason for why a drunk god and a drunk godslayer are trying to perform an act together, and it's impossible for anyone not present to grasp why this exactly happened.

The satyr is more than willing to explain it all: "Well, when lord Bacchus arrived here on this island he met this king you see there, which led to hesitant opposition of both sides. The two fought for a bit before getting bored from it all. Their final solution was to solve it with a drinking contest. Whoever would stop drinking first would lose."

A drinking contest?! Yeah, Annie's newest peer certainly falls in line with the rest of them. At best, she's just an alcoholic at her age. At worst… Annie doesn't even want to think about it.

"So how did this drinking contest go?"

The satyr lets out a chuckle, as if remembering something funny, and decides to tell Annie the whole story:

The first few drinks went without any trouble. It was after half a dozen or so glasses that the two started to talk to one another for the first time.

"Hey, missy, shouldn't you quit right now? Though, if you ask me, I think those blushing cheeks are quite cute."

"Well, then that makes two of us. You're not quite as good as you think, Bacchus!"

The two shared a laugh, both having gotten a boost of self-confidence from the alcohol. They laugh and have a good time together.

A couple of glasses later other effects start to become visible: The young king started to get a bit drowsy, and our lord behaved even more erratically than usual. They began to suffer from some… emotional breakdown:

"And then I was told: 'No, Dionysus, we don't need your epics and your moments of intelligence. We Romans just want an excuse to party.' I used to be a nomadic father of the skies! I used to be Sabazios, ruling god of the Phrygians and the Thracians! But now? Now I'm a divine comedy, a joke of the lowest level!"

Then our lord burst out in tears, drowning his sorrows with another glass of alcohol. The king gave a wry and sympathetic smile, commiserating with Bacchus.

"There, there. It's not like it's so great being a king like me."

"Oh what are you talking about!" Bacchus suddenly became angry, throwing off the sympathetic words of the Campione. "You're a king! You're basically a ruler of humanity! You can basically do whatever you want!"

"And you think I want that?!" The godslayer shouted back just as hard as our lord. "before becoming a king I just wanted to live normally, becoming something important through standard means. I would learn, study, work, become successful, and eventually settle with a family. It would've been a perfectly normal great life. I used to be the most ordinary member of my family, but look at me now! I had to kill a god, and now I have these freaky powers and a duty to protect my country."

Bacchus answered slowly, his speech somewhat slurred from the wine: "Oh… sorry. I didn't know you felt that way." However, for Bacchus this was unintelligible, something he truly doesn't understand. Someone who does not want to be well-known? "But what's so bad about becoming famous through unordinary ways?"

"Because no matter what I do, I will always be recognized as a Campione. A fool who got lucky enough to slay a god. That's all. I could become the richest person on the world, and I would probably achieve it through slaying some god of money. Even if I didn't people would think I pressured companies out of their cash by using my power. What kind of ordinary accomplishments can someone like me do?"

Bacchus did not comfort her. He did not scold her. He did not argue with her. He simply heard it, threw his head back and laughed like there is no tomorrow.

The king, angered by this display of her opponent, was ready to give a scolding, but lord Bacchus explained his actions: "Then what about me? I am a god. If I want to do something you humans find ordinary, is that then wrong? Are my creations less great because they were made by a god? No, of course not! The only thing that matters is that I do whatever the hell I want to do!"

"Bacchus…" That young king looked in awe at her opponent. Instead of answered she still had to finish her cup, allowing lord Bacchus to elongate his argument:

"So what if I want to make art? No matter what happens, or what I will become, I'll make sure that my art is so damn good that no one can surpass it!" At that moment Bacchus raised his glass, and ends the rest of his drink. "Then how about this: Right here, right now, I'll create the ultimate play! Not because I'm a god, but because I'm simply the best!"

Both smirked at this line, letting out a laugh or two about each other. To the rest, it seemed like they were the best of friends… and my lord had one final offer to this "friend":

"However, I still need a female lead for that play. How about it? Want to take that role for me?"

"No, I don't want to take that role for you…" It was a shock for Bacchus to hear this, but it was quickly resolved by the rest of the answer: "I want to take that role, for me."

"And with that the two decided to 'create' the ultimate musical. And with 'create', I mean 'force the satyrs to do all the work for them'."

"I… see." It's still absurd, but Annie believes his. It's not like she has any reason to doubt it. A sudden crashing sound tells her that she should refocus on the musical:

On the stage the tremendous power of authorities is unleashed. Both Bacchus and the young king have activated the powers of their authorities. If there was any doubt left in Annie's mind about the existence of an eighth king this should be the final, conclusive proof.

On Bacchus' side long and thick vines grow, along with branches of poisonous ivy. Acting like a swarm of destructive whips these plants try to harm and restrict the young king, who in turn uses a blackish stone to summon a longsword to her side. It's a standard two-handed European sword with a three-feet-long blade, but instead of metal it looks more like it is made of glass.

The young king makes a simple horizontal swing, clearly showing that she's not a master swordswoman, but it still manages to cut two vines in half and nick a third.

The cut vines still approach the king, trying to take her life, but no matter how they struggle they cannot reach her. Ice would grow where the blade of glass had cut, quickly spreading over the rest of the plant before completely freezing over. The magic vines, which even a great knight would not destroy easily, were incapacitated without trouble.

A few more time the young king slashes at these plants, and before long the stage looks like a garden for ice sculptures.

After a minute or two the battle, short-lived as it was, ends. Bacchus calls out to his enemy.

"Yes, I shall accept your strength." Bacchus stands firmly, untouched by the ice. Clearly he didn't go all out, focusing more on keeping the audience satisfied. "This battle is over. We shall be known as equals. I already told my name, so may I know yours?"

"I'm Kusanagi Shizuka. So, what are you doing here?" Annie looks perplexed after hearing that name. Kusanagi Shizuka… She read some reports about the seventh king after meeting that sexual deviant, and if Annie remembers correctly this is the name of Godou's sister. Can it be? There's a pair of literal Campione siblings?

Annie checks this knowledge with the satyr next to her, but he doesn't confirm. Not because it isn't true, but because the satyrs didn't even know about Kusanagi Godou. In fact, this gave the satyr some ideas to improve the story even more, using this uncovered fact as a major plot twist.

Annie missed a few sentences of the script by talking to the satyr, but not much has happened. Bacchus just explained that he is busy to save the world from a great evil. In a cave to the west a god set up an authority, with the intent to destroy the entire planet! Bacchus must stop that authority from activating, or else there won't be any planet left to enjoy!

"Then can I join you? I also have no intent of letting this planet be destroyed." A proposal from the eighth king to form an alliance, to join against the bigger threat.

Bacchus laughs at the idea, but does not deny it. "Very well! Follow, but, follow only if ye be a woman of valor! For the entrance to this cave is guarded by a god so foul, so cruel, that no Campione yet has fought with it, and lived! Bones of full seven kings lie strewn in its wake! So! Brave devil king! If you do doubt your courage or your strength, go no further, for death awaits you with nasty, big, pointy tentacles!"

"So what do I need to expect, Cthulhu?" Almost jokingly Shizuka references the works of H.P. Lovecraft, the only truly known tentacle god. It's like she's scoffing at the idea of a fictional deity.

"No… it's even worse." Bacchus' answer is cut short, as the curtain fall on this act. Some shuffling can be heard behind the scenes, as satyrs are moving props and other important pieces around. The narrator announces a small break, which Annie uses to investigate a bit more.

"So, about those two, what did you say about being wasted?" Continuing an old subject, there's something that she wants to get clear. How did they get drunk that easily? Knowing herself, ever after she became a Campione her resistance increased tenfold. She literally needs to drink away an entire bar to get somewhat drunk, and she wasn't that much of a heavyweight before ascending.

"Oh, a few hundred meters to the west of this beach is where lord Bacchus had his drinking contest against this king. They both drank quite a lot before ending up in the state you saw right there." The satyr points to an abandoned part of the beach, a tourist spot now looking rather desolate. All the humans who were there are now in this location, so there's no one there. "Either way, I need to go now. With the sibling relationship uncovered I need to revise the script for some of the future acts, so please wait here alone."

Annie says a curt goodbye, and quickly she is left alone. Her mind wanders a bit, wondering whether there is a need for John Pluto Smith to arrive. The situation isn't dire, and these two aren't specifically doing something heinous against the populace. At least, if you don't count this cringeworthy theatrical play. Unless Bacchus decides to lash out in anger there is no need for a heroic approach.

On the other hand, she kind of wants to join. She is, after all, a superhero. Theatrics are her specialty, so of all kings in existence this would suit her best.

Hmm… what to do? Annie is left with little time to ponder, as the next act starts.

Bacchus and the younger Kusanagi stand on the left of the stage, while the right side is dressed up like a cave.

"Behold! This is the cave I spoke about. In here the god guards the earth-shattering treasure." Bacchus takes a few steps forwards, examining the ground. "But it seems we are in luck. There are still remnants of an earlier battle, not too long ago. The evil god must be resting somewhere, recovering his wounds! If we go now, we might get a quick kill."

Shizuka agrees with this opportunistic approach, quickly stepping forward towards the cave.

"ye won't be doing that!" Smoke generators cover the stage in a veil of mist, as one man drops down from the sky. It's a satyr with the archetypal pirate outfit: captain's hat with feather, scruffy black beard, red coat, bandolier with multiple pistols, and long white pants. "Yarr, 'tis I, Blackbeard, scourge of the seven seas! Ye think we lads let landlubbers like you interlope? Come, me buckos!"

One by one the new people drop in. The first to come down has long and wavy hair with a short goatee, embroidered yellow nobleman's clothing and a rapier stashed at his side. Once more this person is played by a satyr, who seems a bit sad he had to mutilate his beard. "So, wee lass, leave now or ye be shanked like me strumpet! 'tis I, Henry Morgan!"

The next is actually a human female, most likely played by one of Bacchus' maenads {2} due to a lack of female satyrs. This woman wears a blue jacket and pants, with a white blouse and several leather belts to hold her sabre and double flintlocks. "Aye, nor shall Anne Bonny parley with a carouser!"

The fourth, another satyr, is a lot older than the others. White hair, both on his head and on his face, along with many wrinkles show the age and wisdom accumulated over the years. He wears a green captains' jacket with black pants, a green sash tied around his waist and a tricorne on his head. A single gun rests on his shoulders, as he warily looks over these enemies. "Be ye strong, be ye weak… all shall fall when our lord recovers, William Kidd swears so!"

"And we, me hearties, shall keep ye at bay! The final privateer, Francis Drake!" The last one is a satyr with curly hair, a thin mustache and long goatee. It complements his entirely black clothing, which consists of a mantle, cape, vest, pants and belt. Wielding sword and gun at the same time, he is the last of the pirate team of five.

Five legends of pirate history, now acted out here on stage as guardians of the ultimate deity. Now there will be a long theatrical play between the two heroes and the five evil members who will do their best to stop these two.

"Me mateys, 'tis time for our special attack!" On Blackbeard's cue the five all start glowing, each in the color of their clothing: Red, yellow, blue, green, black; Five powerful aura's form around them, all with the intend to kill and destroy.

"Behold! Ultimate…" Blackbeard turns the red energy into a ball, and shoots it into the sky.

"…divine slaying…" William Kidd jump in the air, absorbing the red ball of energy.

"…triple destruction…" Anne Bonny shoots her ball of energy into the air, and now Henry Morgan jumps up to absorb this energy.

"…grand crusher…" Francis Drake jumps higher even then the other two, forming a triangle with the other two jumpers. The energies combine, and a ring of triangles scopes in on the two enemies.

"Dragon symbol of the earth, come forth and rip my enemies asunder." But the young king wants to have nothing of that." A dragon jumps out of the stage, breaking apart part of the floor and catching all those who jumped up in his jaws. Before the pirates could even retaliate they were swallowed up by this beast.

It's unsummoned as fast as it appeared, but the pirate clique, who probably had an entire battle scripted here, are suddenly taken out by this surprise attack that killed three of their own. Hopefully for Bacchus he can resummons them some time after they died, Annie wouldn't want this god to start rampaging at the loss of his subordinates.

The two survivors look at the mess that is made, and while Anne looks like she wants to scream in frustration it is Blackbeard who plays along:

"Henry! William! Francis! Screaming at the heavens he laments the death of his friends, as he builds his narrative. "This cannot be happening! Three of me mateys have been eaten! We can't perform our special attack with just two people, 'tis impossible!"

Blackbeard points an angry finger at the devil king, with anger that blurs the line of real and acted: "Accursed scoundrels! Attacking before the activation is over… ye inconsiderate hound! What are ye, a devil king?!"

Annie understands the humor, as that is a common nickname given to Campione. Bacchus points out the nature of his companion, though she seems to dislike that title.

"By our lord! This pirate forgot all that!" Looking genuinely shocked, Blackbeard almost falters. Shizuka facepalms, ridiculing the situation. She only has insults ready for such idiocy:

"You are without doubt the worst pirate I've ever heard of."

"But you have heard from me." The only retort available for Blackbeard to save face, he is looking over the options he has left. There's not much really, because the entire script in obliterated with Shizuka's attack. Even Anne Bonny is questioning their options.

"Blackbeard, how do we drown these scurvy dogs with just the two of us? What can we do?" Anne is ready to give up, but suddenly a voice appears from nowhere:

"Do not be afraid, my servants." A thundering, dominating voice booms echoes through the air. It's powerful and conceited, but there is no familiar signature of a god. In other words, this must be another satyr, acting the role of evil god. "I am almost fully recovered, so stay awake."

"My lord!" Both Blackbeard and Anne Bonny shout out, happy that the other satyrs seem to have skipped the second act. However, that happiness changes quickly when two long tentacles grab the remaining pirates. The duo looks in shock, questioning their god for his plan.

"I will be at my full power again after I've absorbed some energy. You two will do!"

Both scream in fear as they're dragged off the stage. The curtains close, and the narrator apologizes for the second break.

Annie is pleasantly surprised. The first part just seemed like the broken ramblings of a drunkard, but there's tension and suspense right now, and this leaves the audience craving for more. The play might become fun to watch with all these improvements!

Perhaps something to drink would help. Perhaps the taste of a glass of wine can improve the mood even more, make theatre joyful again! And since there is divine-grade wine wasting away on the beach, it would be a shame if she didn't take a few sips from that source.

Annie leaves the theater for a bit, preparing herself for the third act, and whatever that may bring.

-x-

Somewhat later, same location.

When people talk about Jack Milburn, they usually speak more about his inner qualities then his external ones. Mundane people call him intelligent, patient, down to earth, protective of others, yet showing great passion and drive in emergency situations; mages on the other hand will speak up about his magical talent and willingness to hang around the fifth godslayer, John Pluto Smith. Hang around being the word here, as even Jack can get annoyed by the actions of his "friend".

Even so Jack follows his king around whenever there is trouble in Los Angeles, earning him the nickname of "Jack Watson" from those who like JPS and the nickname "Smith's dog" from the king's enemies. Smith himself seems to prefer comic books, as he call his friend more of a Dick Grayson {3}. Perhaps because Watson shares the king's name, and Smith doesn't want any disrespect to people named John?

O well, it's not that Jack cares about such titles. It's the actions that bother him more. "Hey Jack, there's a god who descended in the Caribbean. Could you take Annie with you and investigate what is going on?"

Why of course Smith, there's nothing I would like to do more! It's not like this interrupts my lovey-dovey time with my girlfriend Allison!

It's a pity, but Jack can't refuse this order. Being the king's aid forces Jack to make more sacrifices than anyone would like, but hey, someone must take that role upon themselves.

Jack's plan was simple: Get to St. Lucia, the island nation where the god seems to be headed; find and intercept him together with Annie; get John Pluto Smith to make an appearance and defeat this god; then go back home to Allison, perhaps having a small party with Annie and Smith to celebrate the king's victory.

Of course, it isn't that easy. Annie, while beautiful, is not that talkative a woman, and the flight to this island was rather boring. No, a relationship with Annie would be much worse compared to Jack's current girlfriend.

The second problem happened right after the duo landed. Jack learned a valuable lesson: If being with Annie Charlton was bad, then being without her is worse. For some reason Jack managed to lose her on the airport, leading to a long search for her. Eventually he got a message from miss Charlton telling him that he doesn't need to worry about her, and they need to investigate separately.

Ugh, can't Annie say something like "I miss you, let's gather somewhere?" It would increase her feminine charm tenfold!

The third and final problem is the insanity before his eyes. Sure, the enemy is a god. Whatever they do is always borderline absurd, and Jack didn't expect it to be any different this time around.

However, this is ridiculous even for divine standards. What kind of god would actively go and make a gargantuan stage for his own amusement?

A bunch of half-men, half-goat come running at Jack, all panicking for some reason. If correctly recalled, these beasts are satyrs.

The satyrs are running away, perhaps searching for help, and they completely ignore Jack. Not wanting to unwittingly do something stupid Smith's sidekick apprehends the oldest-looking of the beasts, with no more hair on top of his body and fat belly from overindulging alcohol. Jack asks what exactly is going on here, and the satyr is willing to answer.

"My name is Silenus, mage. I'm one of the satyrs who serve our god Bacchus. As for why we are all panicking, it's… well, it's a long story, but let's keep it at the creation of a very powerful divine beast."

A powerful divine beast? "Excuse me for asking, but isn't Bacchus a god?" Even the most powerful beast, no matter how strong, should still be able to easily handle something of that level. There's no reason to panic here.

"If this was a normal situation, then yes, you're correct. However, this is a divine beast created by a drunk god and a drunk godslayer that ripped itself apart from the shackles of servitude." The hell? Silenus sees what Jack is thinking, so he quickly excuses himself by saying that "I told you it was a long story."

Jack has not heard enough, so he extracts all other relevant information: The birth of a new king, her alliance with Bacchus, how they both got smashed and decided to perform a theatric play, how they made a fake satyr-controlled beast based on the flying spaghetti monster, and how though corruption of mana managed to gain self-consciousness and believe it's the actual one. It sounds stupid and dumb, but this seems to be a reality.

"Even so, why are you all so afraid? Even when drunk a god and a Campione should be more than enough to deal with this threat."

"It's not the monster we fear. If Bacchus were sober he would end this fight cleanly. Now, though… our worst-case prediction is complete annihilation of this island."

Okay, Jack can see why this would be very bad. The world doesn't need to lose an entire country due to wine. Silenus complains that the satyrs cannot do anything, lacking the power to stop the monster nor the persuasive power to order their god. Even the humans cannot be evacuated, since they've been forced by Bacchus' power to watch his magnificent art.

"I did hear of some red-headed cool beauty among the audience, a mage who was unaffected. However, for some reason we can't find her anymore." That's Annie, alright. Perhaps there is some hope?!

"No need to worry, she belongs to my organization. Soon our American king will arrive here; she's probably calling him right now and giving the locations."

Silenus seems to be at least a bit calmer, and is now willing to return to the scene together with Jack. There can be seen, the monster that is now ruining Saint Lucia:

Meatballs forming the main body, held together with a mesh of spaghetti, and covered in a veil of tomato sauce. Two large eyes stand on the top, giving it a total height of at least forty feet.

"It's… what, exactly?" This is the monster created by a drunken god? What, did Bacchus fuse a bowl of pasta with his divine energy?

"That there was supposed to be a puppet based on the flying spaghetti monster, the supposed enemy of Bacchus' play." Silenus calmly explain the origin of this monster, something that was only invented a few years ago. It's a joke, created by a graduate student to promote logical conjecture in science classrooms. "If we used the image of a real deity than that god might become angered at us, descend from the realm of immortality and cause a ruckus. We resorted to use the only deity that is not worshipped. Because of its lack of prayer, it does not exist in the realm of immortality, and could not harm this event in any way. We did not expect it to become a pseudo-deity of its own."

Ugh, fantastic. Jack is already done with all of this. Taking a seat quite far from the stage he watches what is going on:

"Behold, my true self! I am his holy noodliness, the noodly appendage, but most commonly known as the flying spaghetti monster! Now, I shall eradicate you two from this world!" The flying spaghetti monster gathers energy, even Jack can feel the power vacuum created by this. The monster starts to chant, in what sounds to be the worst possible possibility: "Accept his noodly magnificence into your heart, into your soul, and ye shall forever be free. The soul of spaghettien, the proceeder of meatera, I shall grasp all in existence and bind it to my will!"

No! This can't be true! Just what happened for such a creation to own authorities?!

Jack asks for an explanation, and Silenus is willing to answer: "To make the play better, several pseudo-authorities were installed in the puppet, based on its body parts, which are four: [The Flying] grants it flight and teleportation; [The Meatera] gives in supernatural strength and endurance; [The Saucon] grants it invisibility; the last one is used now, which is [The Spaghettien]. It allows him to bind the dead to this world.

4 authorities, and they all sound like actual authorities. "Are you sure you didn't create an artificial god?" This sound ridiculously powerful for a mere divine beast!

"Well, the authorities have severe limits, and their actual power combined is at best just one authority." Only one authority can be used at a time; [The Flying] leaves it weakened and unable to attack; [The Meatera] is not on the level of the Herculean strength of the [Boar] or [Divine might of Vajrapani]; [The Saucon] merely affects vision; and [The Spaghettien] can only summon the souls of legendary pirates.

And it summoned exactly that. The five legendary pirates have been summoned, along with their crew. Blackbeard, Henry Morgan, Anne Bonny, William Kidd and Francis Drake. Armed to the teeth these spectral ghosts will defend their lord to their death… re-death… something.

Both king and god look less than impressed with this display. They know that this is not a great danger to them, so they do not give it their all. "Is that it?" The young king haughtily makes fun of the opponent, looking down on this power. "Then this will be cleaned up easily."

As the young king speaks she misstep, causing her to fall on one knee. It seems to be a side effect of getting smashed, making this battle a lot harder than needed.

"Easily?" The monster asks, acting just as arrogantly as the godslayer. "What can you do to me if you cannot even stand up?"

"The king laughs evilly, before declaring her goal: "When you get kicked back to your pasta heaven, remember that the one who sent you there was me, Kusanagi Shizuka!"

Kusanagi? No way, it can't be! That's the same name as the seventh king! Could those two be related?

The monster is wondering this too, but instead uses the knowledge to gloat as he forces his pirates to stay on stand-by. "A Kusanagi? Interesting… then this will be the second Kusanagi I kill."

"What are you talking about?" Not intimidated by this claim, Shizuka is merely confused. She wonders what this god could mean with that sentence.

"Perhaps you know about a certain Kusanagi Godou, the seventh king?" The young king looks shocked at that name, unprepared for that knowledge.

"My brother… is the seventh king?" She stumbles backwards, falling on her behind and almost crawling away. But she knows that she must continue listening.

"No, he was the seventh king. Until I killed him, of course." Loudly the young Kusanagi gets up, almost roaring at this news. Pointing an accusing finger at this monster she asks him to explain, which it gleefully does: "I fought him, and just before I slaughtered him he was crying… like a little bitch."

That is most likely not what happened, nor what would happen if the seventh king would ever duel this monster, but it is very effective at getting Shizuka riled up. She starts to bawl in tears, her voice shrilled that it can barely make a sound. Her mouth moves, but no sounds come out of it that Jack can hear.

Out of nowhere a black prismatic stone appears next to Shizuka, around the size of the young king. She stands up firmly, with newfound power she stands up, and a cold flow streams from the black stone. "Hello. My name Kusanagi Shizuka. You killed my brother. Prepare to die." Softly she speaks these words

The pirates are finally ordered to charge, but they're repelled by Shizuka's authority: An immense number of icicles float around her, and they are all aimed at the enemy.

"Hello. My name is Kusanagi Shizuka. You killed my brother. Prepare to die." Her voice strengthened, she is now raining down an onslaught of ice on these pirates. Those armed with cutlasses and sabers are cut down before the can even come close. Those with guns and pistols can still fire, but their bullets are lost in the waves of ice that decimate their bodies. Even the five leaders of this armada find themselves powerless to stop this authority.

"Hello! My name is Kusanagi Shizuka! You killed my brother! Prepare to die!" Shouting these words like a maniac, she is wrecking these pirates. The stage is showered in ice, and only the gargantuan flying spaghetti monster is left.

"Interesting… Kusanagi Shizuka, why don't you join me? Together we can bring spaghetti to this planet."

"We'll never join you!" Bacchus enters the conversation, and shuts down that offer.

"If only you knew the power of the pasta." Bacchus gets ignored by the noodly being, as it continues to try and get Shizuka to join. "Besides, I never truly told you what happened to your brother…"

"You told me enough." Shizuka starts to rage again, the subject of her brother's fake death refreshed. "You told me you killed him!"

"No…" The flying spaghetti monster starts to shine, shrinking down as the remnants of the pirates return to the world of the dead. "…I am your brother."

Standing there is no more monster. There is now an exact copy of the seventh king. He looks precisely the same as in the reports Jack read about him. That being there is Kusanagi Godou. Not even Silenus, the old and wise satyr next to Jack, knows how this happened.

"No… it's not true… that's impossible…" Staggered the young king walks to her brother. She wants to accept it. She wants this. Even if she knows that it is likely a fake, somewhere in her heart she wants this to be reality.

"Search your feelings, you know this to be true…" Shizuka tries to go there, hug his lost brother, but Bacchus holds her back.

Shizuka is screaming for him to let go, but Bacchus is not trusting this monster. Drunk as he is, there's still a sense of instinct instilled in that body.

It was for good reason. Wickedly Godou grins, before a few tentacles shoot from his back and slam into the duo. The monster returns to normal, but this blow was made using [The Meatera], making it powerful enough to knock the duo to the ends of the stage.

Both Shizuka and Bacchus lie down in pain, harmed by this monster. They're wounded from that attack, and only a white stone provides a small bit of healing to them. The monster has enough time to finish them off.

But instead of a quick kill the flying spaghetti monster laughs evilly, assured of his victory. "It is over. My power is near infinite, unbeatable by the likes of mere gods and Campiones. I shall wipe you two out, and make my rule over this planet forever and ever!"

The duo tries to stand up, but somehow doesn't manage to succeed. It's on one half from the attack and the other part from the alcohol, as far as Jack can see.

"Hoho, I think that you've reached a premature conclusion, your pastiness." There, standing on top of one of the stage posts, is none other than Jack's king, John Pluto Smith. Finally! He arrived! Will this charade finally end? "After all, as invincible as you are, you do have one glaring weakness."

Silenus is glad that there's finally another king on the site, and he's even willing to play along! Jack too is glad, hoping that Smith will end this quickly. So, what will the weakness be? Dragon bullets? One of his transformations? At least let it be something that does not harm the people watching this charade.

"I had to delve deep in the spirit world, but I found my answer. The only power that can defeat you… is the power of rock!"

What the hell is he talking about? Smith jumps down, and his unsteady landing tells Jack more than enough: There are now three drunk people at this theatre.

O damn it all!

"You… Smith…" The monster seems to have problems with this newcomer. As powerful as he has become, he's still a slave to Bacchus' energy, and thus also wants to keep the play a play instead of a brawl. This forces the monster to play along with this new knowledge: "it's true, I can be defeated that way. However, you just increased your chances from impossible to still impossible!"

The earth rumbles, and a gigantic synthesizer bursts forth, large enough that even the spaghetti monster could play it. Twenty tentacles of the monster shoot up, hanging above this giant instrument. Four slam down, creating a sound that produced literal shockwaves.

The stage was blown away. All lights, all posts, all props, the only things left are Bacchus and the two kings.

"Hahaha, do you think that your measly rock can outperform my Synthwave {4}? Impossible, impossible I say!"

"I think that you should reconsider that thought." Smith pulls out his magic gun, the only piece of metal that can contain the power of an authority. He throws it up, chanting spell words for a special technique: "The dark march to death, let fitting music accompany you!"

The dark metal transforms, expands, and splits apart. What falls back down is not a weapon anymore, but a functional… drum set?

Shizuka, in her drunken rush, looks at this spectacle, and is not planning to be outdone. Having recovered enough she too joins in with her weapon of choice: "Instrument made from the thunder beast, unsheathe and prepare for battle!" In her hands an azure guitar of at least two meters long appears, and with playing a few strings her body transforms too. Green samurai-like armor that bares the stomach, medium-length blond hair in a ponytail, but the same fierce look in her eyes. She too is ready for this music battle, even if she is not all there in her mind.

Bacchus is the last, and not willing to be outdone he summoned a green-purple bass, completing the trio. A single satyr runs upstage, handing out headset microphones to the them. The satyr disappears as quickly as he came, so the newest band can start their music {5}:

"We are the Last Lords, and we're here to make you think 'bout your dead and kick ass 'n' stuff!" The 'Last Lords', as Bacchus whimsically named themselves, are ready: Bacchus will sing the lyrics and bass of this song, Smith makes the rhythm and Shizuka performs the melody. "This is the beginning of our song:"

"This is the final, here's your last trial~, We'll rescue this world; saving it all from you~ and we're breaching your threshold, overcoming it 'til we win~!" The music becomes so powerful that is sends powerful waves back, turning into wind that tries to blow the flying spaghetti monster away.

"Fighting for mankind, our powers combined~, The ultimate force, bringing it all down~; Breaching your threshold, overcoming it 'til we win~!" The flying spaghetti monster is a bit impressed, but then starts to play with the same rhythm as the trio's song. Quickly he overpowers them, bringing music so powerful that it summons ghosts from the past.

"Your threshold~… your threshold~…" Blackbeard, Henry Morgan, Anne Bonny, William Kidd, Francis Drake; The fleets of these legends have come together as ghosts to form a legendary armada whose size was never seen before or after this event. They all load the cannons with seemingly real brass balls, and are ready to fire.

"Breaching~… your threshold~…" The synthesizer performs a final powerful note, which is a signal for the ghost armada to start firing. A great gross of cannon fire rain down on the Last Lords, ending their music and stopping the song.

Injured by this attack the Last Lords are groaning in pain. They've been beaten down, destroyed in this magic battle.

"I don't suppose that anyone has a plan B?" Bacchus knows that their song just now cannot defeat this monster. If they continue like this… they will certainly be lost.

"Argh, I can't believe this, but my services are needed!" Back on the tribune Silenus next to Jack stands up, seeing his master in trouble. "My loyal instrument, weapon of the lone musician… come forth!" Summoning an acoustic guitar in his hands the satyr starts with his own tune {6}:

"There's just no way that we can win, his plays they sound too great~." Shizuka is doubting whether victory is still possible, but without realizing she already started to sing the song towards victory. "The music from his synth we can't possibly beat~."

"Listen, you two!" Bacchus starts to shout, but quickly falls into the same rhythm as the eighth king: "He will be the pirate king~, and if we don't kill this thing~, then macaroni is the only thing we'll eat~!"

"Guys…" Smith also gets into it, starting to sing along. "This is the final fight~."

"After this we are finished, am I right~?" After Shizuka's line the three renew their spirits with one final line:

"Now it's time to take this monster down~!"

Bacchus and Shizuka get back in, playing their respective instrument to the fullest. Bacchus also starts to sing again, continuing the song: "All right, guys, now it's time to blow doors down~!"

"I hear you Bacchus now it's time to blow doors down~!"

"So let us rock, cause our music takes the crown~!"

"We'll blow his mind and give his body a meltdown~!

Smith; Bacchus; Shizuka. After saying their respective lines, they now band their voice together as one. "Now it's time to take this monster down~!" Smith hits the drums, helping to overpower the sound from his noodliness' synthesizer.

"This is your end, now we will force you to shut down~."

"C'mon, monster, time for the final showdown~!" Bacchus taunts the enemy, daring the flying spaghetti monster to out-sound them. The flying spaghetti monster already knows that if this continues, he will lose. This music… it's exceptionally good.

"No, this is impossible! Why can't I cut them down?!~" The fake god tries and tries, but his music is not enough. The flying spaghetti monster will give the final order: Shoot down the Last Lords, so that he can reign supreme over the world!

The bouldering sound of the cannons is deafening, but they cannot overwhelm the trio. Th continue singing to get to their climax:

"Hey saucy master, this fight is done~! You must disappear~, because we won~!" Two long and slender dragons appear from Smith's drum set, manifestations of the authority he nicked of Artemis. The dragons bite right through the onslaught of metal, not threatened by the power of a mere divine beast, however powerful it is.

"O stone of water~, come and descend~! Now taste the lightning~, this is the end~!" Shizuka summons [Water], adding the power of lightning and electricity to the twin dragons as they soar towards the ghost fleet.

"We will destroy you~, down to the soul~! You are no match for~ our rock and roll~!" Ivy grows on the two oversized reptiles, forming a grassy rug which shoot long vines at the ship, binding them together. The dragons roar, crashing into the immobile ships.

"Our rock and roll, our rock and roll, our rock and roll, our rock and roll~," The chained ships are highly responsive to the lightning, which can spread easily thanks to the flammable vines. Within seconds all ships have burned down.

"Our rock and roll, our rock and roll, our rock and roll, our rock and roll~," The ships may be destroyed, but the dragons are far from satisfied. Turning back towards the flying spaghetti monster the twins have found their true target.

"Our rock and roll, our rock and roll, our rock and roll, our rock and roll~," The monster tries to flee, but it cannot run for long. The oversized synthesizer is destroyed first, and it's clear what will follow soon!

"Our rock and roll, our rock and roll, our rock and roll, our rock and roll~," The monster is caught, now trying a futile attempt at blocking. As the monster blocks this attack the dragons push the flying spaghetti monster into the sky, just like fireworks.

"Our rock and roll!" Eventually the guard breaks, but not before the monster is several hundred meters in the air. The monster body is invaded by the dragons, who try to destroy this enemy from the inside. The flying spaghetti monster swells larger and larger, trying ever harder not to rupture and die from this attack.

"Illogical! Impossible! What is this? No, this cannot beeeeeeee!" The monster couldn't hold it together anymore and quickly explodes, turning into a shower of delicious pasta. It rains down over the entire town, though the stage seems to be largely unharmed.

A small faint whisper can be heard, coming from the youngest king: "We did it…"

Then she falls on the ground, along with Bacchus and Smith, having used their remaining energy for this feat. The alcohol finally takes its last toll as the trio falls in a deep slumber.

The humans who were controlled by Bacchus' natural power also fall unconscious, the link that kept them awake now gone. They will wake up again in a few hours, with no memory of what happened or why they're on a spaghetti-covered beach.

"So, I guess we satyrs are forced to take care of our master." With a resigned shrug Silenus accepts his lot, making one final request:

"Can you take care of the two godslayers? We're not responsible for what happened to them, so if you would?"

"Of course, it seems to be only fitting." Just as resigned as Bacchus' satyrs, Jack has accepted his role as Smith's sidekick. It's back to doing menial tasks for his lord.

In the end, it's just another job for the masked superhero's sidekick…

-x-

22nd of December, morning, unknown location.

Pain… pain, pain, pain. Shizuka feels horrendous. Her head seems to be splitting apart, sweat is running over her back, mouth feels cracked and dry, a bit of dizziness, and feeling as fit as someone who just ran the marathon. Ugh, there's also a chance that she must puke.

"Hey…kay? King, are…you?" Someone seems to speak to her, if they mean a Campione with the word king. Shizuka tries to speak back, but all that comes out of her mouth is an indescribable groan.

The senses other than hearing also regain their function, telling her that she is lying down on something soft while staring up at a wooden ceiling. Rolling on her side she sees she's lying on a bed in what appears to be a hotel room. There's a desk, a door with a number on it, a painting that is quite gaudy, and a chair filled with the only other person in the room.

It's a man in his late twenties, and if Shizuka had to say he looks rather…normal. Just your average run-of-the-male Caucasian male, just a dime in a dozen you can find anywhere on the streets of America and Europe. Concentrating a bit harder on this man tells Shizuka that she's in fact dealing with quite the talented mage.

"Ah, good. You're awake. After that debacle of yesterday I was worried that some disaster would follow, but a crisis seems to have been averted." He speaks with stoic tone, though there are clear hints of irritation. Is Shizuka the cause of this?

…

No good. As much as Shizuka tries to remember about yesterday she cannot recall anything important. She was sunbathing, then Bacchus arrived, and then… blank. What the hell did she do?

"Who are you? And what happened here?" Often asked questions by amnesiacs, this man is willing to answer them:

"As for your first question, my name is Jack Milburn. I work for the Los Angeles branch of the Sorcerous Sacrilege Investigation. We're a government agency in charge of investigating and concealing all incidents pertaining magic and supernatural phenomena in the united states. Now as for what happened… it's a long story, but to put it in simple terms: two godslayers and a god got very, very, drunk."

"Ungh…" Shizuka throws her head in her hands, being rather embarrassed by this situation. Clearly one of those godslayers is herself, considering that she has all the symptoms of a hangover. Please, please don't let there be anything stupid Shizuka did in her drunken stupor. "What… exactly did I do?"

Jack doesn't say anything, but simply points to the window. Shizuka, half-afraid that she managed to destroy the city in a drunken frenzy, stumbles towards the light shining through the glass. From that she can make a small guess at what just went on here.

"The hell is that?!"

The window has a view of the beach, being about two hundred meters away from Shizuka's current location. However, it can't be called a beach anymore. Several things litter the beach. Some seem to be long wooden pillars, scattered around over the length of the beach. There's also quite some abnormal sand-colored strings, along with a gargantuan amount of what appears to be… blood?

"What kind of massacre occurred here?!" Did she just murder an entire country in her sleep? What kind of atrocity did she perform together with Bacchus?!

"Yes, that's the first thing I would think of too if I saw that." Jack sees Shizuka's surprised face, and knows that he should inform the eighth king about the truth: "However, you don't need to worry. It's just tomato sauce." Oh, how far his noodly appendage has fallen. For [The Saucon], the veil that makes him invisible, to have been reduced to mere tomato sauce.

Shizuka looks at the mage, wondering whether she is being fooled here. Stoically Jack assures her that no really, that red stuff is just leaked tomato sauce.

"How did I manage to do that?" Shizuka is now seriously wondering how she did this. Hangovers shouldn't be this bad normally. The worst-case scenario is when you find out your wallet has been stolen, or something like that. Is this level of destruction normal for an unrestrained king? "Just what did I do yesterday?"

"As far as I get it, you had a drinking contest with heretic Bacchus. You two both got drunk, and for some reason this ended with both of you becoming actors in a play." Is Jack serious? Okay, the situation already is absurd, considering that there is a massive outburst of tomato sauce; However, even that seems normal compared to this explanation. "Then a divine beast based on the flying spaghetti monster appeared. The origins of it are… better left unspoken of."

…Okay, now Shizuka begins to doubt the story. The flying spaghetti monster. Does such a joke count in the real world? Is there actually a sect that reveres a god made of pasta? Can such a beast exist outside of the mockery it was made for?

Jack Milburn continues to give the same emotionless face, proof that he is not lying. Shizuka has to trust him for now, so he allows Jack to continue speaking: "At the same time my lord, the masked superhero known as John Pluto Smith, got drunk too and joined in on your play. When he combined with your and Bacchus' power you blew up the monster, covering the city in splats of pasta."

Ugh… Shizuka has heard enough. She has been acting the fool, and this is the consequence. She asks for some food, and Milburn complies.

After a late lunch that did improve Shizuka's condition she stands up, ready to face the world. After all, there is a certain father who needs to be relocated. Knowing him he's probably sulking in a corner that he lost his daughter in the crowd, so he needs to be reunited.

Shizuka walks out of the hotel, only to find that person again.

"Hey, Shizuka! Over here!" Waving there is none other than the god who caused this debacle. He invites Shizuka over to join him and the other man standing there, a tall guy in mask and costume. Going by Jack's description, this is most likely the man known as John Pluto Smith, America's own king.

"Good morning, Bacchus." Staying polite Shizuka greets the god warmly, but also extends a warm welcome to her peer: "And the same goes to you, mister Smith. I see you've become quite familiar with one another."

"With this guy here? Isn't it obvious, we get along swimmingly! I mean, just look at him:" Bacchus points at the fifth king, whose smile stays hidden behind the mask. "That outfit, that mask, those manners, that air of mystery… He's perfect!"

Bacchus has nothing but compliments for the fifth king, and the feeling is mutual. John Pluto Smith also likes the company of the god of wine, so they are a pretty good match.

"Yes… I can see it. The start of my ultimate art, the movie to outdo all other movies!" Bacchus already sees what the future holds for the two of them. Bacchus starts to speak like a narrator, showing the introduction he made up for his own idea: "One is the superhero of Los Angeles, an ordinary human who became the fifth devil king after slaying a god; He is joined by the Roman god of wine, descended from the world of immortality for the sake of his goals. Together, they fight supernatural crime! They… are Pluto and Bacchus!"

Shizuka doesn't care about this stupid idea. It doesn't affect her and it doesn't affect Tokyo, so she can ignore this all. On the other hand, she is interested for why Smith agreed to this stupid plan.

"One such as myself must be a hero both in reality and in fiction. Whether it's an actual enemy or a delusional play, both are equally important to me." Smith does care about his image as a hero. He's just as much of a show-off as Bacchus, but simply never thought about receiving popularity through fiction. For the sake of that new goal he's even willing to take care of Bacchus in Los Angeles, albeit with a few limitations: "Of course, between movies our friend will have to take refuge in the netherworld. Heretic gods cannot roam freely without causing destruction to the populace."

"Yes yes, I will, I will, I promise." Hurriedly Bacchus confirms this statement, as if he wants to get out of here as quickly as possible. Shizuka can make an elaborate guess why:

"Then what about the mess we made? Who should clean that up?"

"It is regrettable, but staying wouldn't fit the style of John Pluto Smith if he would stay here." Shizuka's fellow king is the first to make excuses, running away from cleaning duty. When the curtain falls upon the stage, the actor must exit. When the battle concludes, the hero and devil king must also vanish."

Damn it, don't make up lousy excuses full of hot air just to slip out of menial labor! Shizuka's anger about this isn't just aimed at Smith, as Bacchus makes the same kind of excuses: "And I need to join him. We do need to get started on our project, after all, and he cannot start without me." Just as Shizuka starts to nag about this, Bacchus gives the most compelling argument against Shizuka's case: "Besides, the only one who wants and can stop us from returning to his country is you, little king. You could try to stop us, but are you willing to fight another battle against the both of us together?"

Shizuka hates to say this, but she is forced to let them go. A battle would be catastrophically worse compared to Saint Lucia's current problems, and she hasn't recovered enough to start another battle. Therefore, she gives up. She concludes this discussion with her loss. Smith too sees that his peer gave up, and stretches out a hand of friendship.

"Milady, please take care, though who knows when we shall meet again. If possible, I, John Pluto Smith, wish to never meet as enemies. How about a suggestion that we part here not as peers, but as allies? What do you say?"

Shizuka has no reason to deny that suggestion, and reaches for the outstretched hand to accept it. Bacchus however must interrupt this, having a few final words to say of his own: "No, there's still one thing left, my friend." Bacchus starts to smile wickedly, for the first time since Shizuka met him he gives off an evil aura, telling Smith about his latest plan: "I'm going to make her an offer she can't refuse."

-x-

{1} Because otherwise no one would get this: "This god is attracting all the ladies! I'll be honest with you, no sugar coating: I'll sent pretty girls like you crying back to your parents after having sex with you. Now, ready to take this risk, my girl?" Basically, Bacchus is saying that his raps will entrance Shizuka and make her willing to have a one-night stand with him.

{2} Maenad: The female retainers of Bacchus, often associated with the nymphs who nursed Bacchus as a child. Meaning "raving ones", it is said that women who join his cult become summonable by Bacchus after his death.

{3} Dick Grayson: One of the characters in the Batman comics. He was the original Robin starting in 1940, but eventually became the superhero Nightwing, even sometimes taking on the mantle of Batman.

{4} Synthwave: A music style that originated in the mid-2000s, based on 1980s synthpop and new wave.

{5} To the music of "Sex Bob-omb – Threshold"

{6} To the music of the latter part of "Tenacious D – Beezleboss (The Final Showdown)"

-x-

Are you all now angry at me because I lied to you, somewhere along the lines of "How dare you deceive us with that drunken musical? We wanted an actual meeting between the two sibling kings!"

To them I say, this is my job! I'm not supposed to spoil you guys in giving away the story. However, this does not mean that I will ever lie to you. Whatever I say here is and will always be the truth, but you will never understand it.

Now, for those of you worrying that I'm trying to prevent the two kings from ever meeting, or at least until I've reached a certain follower amount: Trust me, I'm not. I'm planning for that to happen in the same arc where Shizuka obtains her second authority. Now, let's all look a bit back at Godou's first five books:

First there's the road to kingship (Volume 3), then there's a major battle involving Athena (Volume 1), then there is a battle with another godslayer (Volume 2), followed by battle with a showy Greco-Roman god far away from Japan (Volume 4) and Godou obtains his second authority from a Japanese deity in Volume 5. Now let's look at Shizuka:

Road to kingship (Chapter 1-3), Battle involving Athena (Chapter 4-6), Battle with the godslayer (Chapter 7-9) and a battle with a showy Greco-Roman god far away from Japan (Chapter 10-12). Now, if I reveal that in the next arc (Chapter 13-15) a Japanese god will be fought, and we will see Shizuka wielding multiple authorities… I reckon that you can make an elaborate guess.

Now, on to the other part I want to talk about. People have called this arc a bit wacky, zany even. Well, that's what drives this arc. I try to make every arc seem different from one another, kind of like a story within a story. The first arc was an introduction arc; The second was entirely focused on big battles between many opponents; The third was a more of a slice of life, with Doni there to have some action. Now it's time for a lighter arc, which adds a bit of humor to the dealings with the divine. For those who finds the large two chapters a bit light, don't worry: from chapter 13 onwards it will go in a different, less-humorous direction.

But what do we get then? Perhaps we get a supernatural murder mystery, or maybe a god who reverses the meaning of gods and godslayers, or something else entirely! Who knows? Every arc has a different focus, yet keeps the world of Campione alive. Let's wait until that future arrives.

Finally, the author does not approve of any form of binge drinking as shown in this chapter. It is a very serious problem that can cause devastating destruction to the brain, and is in no form of shape a cool thing to do. Please do not binge drink yourself, and only partake beverages modestly.