Before we continue, I'm aware that I missed some big events. Here's something that is to look forward to when I eventually catch up.
Meanwhile… At The Legion of Doom…
Master Hand floated in front of his podium addressing his associates in EVIL!
"Alright, which one of you bunch-a-jokas released update 1.0.8 early?" Master Hand asked in his 'Somebody's gonna get fired' voice. Doomsday nervously spoke up.
"I, Doomsday, kinda dropped the ball on that one."
Can't we just throw Doomsday into the Sun again?" Crazy Hand whined.
"Crazy, throwing Doomsday into the sun is not the answer to every problem!"
"But we can pretend it is!"
Author's notes are at the bottom of the chapter as usual. Enjoy.
The Lord Grima Show is back!
The lights come back on onstage as we find the host and his guests enjoying various assorted snacks from the snack tray.
"I wasn't expecting much, but this E-Tank is amazing!" Rock said as he drank the E-Tank.
"These cookies are almost as good as the princess'" Bowsy added, which was probably the closest thing to a compliment he would give in this scenario.
"I wasn't expecting that platter of FOOLS WHO DARE TO OPPOSE GRIMA to be so lovingly crafted. Then again, this is the sort of thing that comes with having a god on your payroll."
If looks could kill, then the Zanza's gaze towards the Fell Dragon would've destroyed the building, and a few others nearby. As it was, the god in Shulk's body huffed and spat loogies in Grima's vassals' eyes.
"…Are you ready for round two?" Grima said, his vassals getting up and the male vassal pushing up the arm of his cloak.
"Definitely." Zanza stood up as well. Just as Tom Nook was about to signal another commercial break, Rock stood up and began speaking with anguish in his eyes.
"Gentlemen! Stop! Why must we fight? Why can't we work together, towards a better tomorrow?!"
Bowser Junior, Grima and Zanza all stared at Mega Man before uproariously laughing in a rather rude fashion. All the villains in the audience began laughing too.
"'Work towards a better tomorrow' he says!" Ridley laughed with Little Birdie/Ridley Jr. barking to convey laughter (and 90% of his emotions so it was actually kinda hard to tell.)
"That blue guy's a comedian!" Metal Face chuckled.
"Bumo Bumo Bumo." Yellow Devil…said.
Rock silently sat down. His face would have been a nice, scarlet shade had there been blood to travel upward to his face. His mood was not helped at all by Bowser Jr.
"Wow Mega Dweeb. I always knew you were a weenie, but now you've proved it!"
"I guess it's only fair, considering how quickly I found you to be a spoiled, cocky brat."
This insult surprisingly did not deter Junior.
"You're still mad about our fight aren't you?"
Rock turned to Bowsy. It was clear from how quickly Rock's face changed from annoyed to livid that the wound was still fresh.
"It's not the fight so much as what happened afterward."
"Oh, that." Bowser Jr. screwed up his face with disgust. "Well, you better get over that. But feel free to remember how mad I made you."
"I was trying to help you."
"And I didn't need your stinkin' help! I'm fine!"
"From the way you sit alone at your lunch table, you don't look like you're fine."
"That's because I don't need any of those popular lamewads cramping my style! As long as I have Papa and my Amiibo and my minions, I don't need anyone else!"
"Then why did you do all that to impress me?!"
Both boys glared at each other, forgetting that they were in front of a live studio audience.
"Mortals," Grima began. "As much fun as it would be to allow you to tear each other apart on national television, I am afraid you two must kiss and make up so we can continue with the story. Although you are free to skip to the part of the story where you do tear each other apart."
They both sat down, embarrassed and covering part of their faces. Rock sighed yet again, mostly for dramatic effect and to make it clear that his patience was running thin.
"Right… Where were we?"
"The kouhai was on his way to confront his senpai at the big guy's show or whatever." Zanza summarized, not looking up from his issue of Deities Monthly.
"Of course. The Electrodrome…
Wavy Flashback Transition Future: Son of Wavy Flashback Transition…
Rock, like 99% of the smashers, was taken aback by the Electrodrome.
It was a giant citywide rave party, home to a large array of Koopa Troop minions. Shy Guys, Piranha Plants and Koopas danced to the beat echoing throughout the city. At a stage in front of the party floor right before the racetrack's finish line, Larry Koopa played his turntable in front of plenty of party goers as Bowser and the rest of his prodigies prepared for the ceremony.
"How do I look?" Bowser asked as he wore his white tux. Morton Koopa Jr. gave a thumbs up to his boss.
"Most impeccable Lord Bowser! I feel that your wardrobe really constructs a palette which satisfies your-"
"You look a'ight." Roy summarized.
Bowser glanced proudly at his minions only to falter when he saw a seat next to his own that had a sign saying 'reserved' on it.
"Any sign of Junior?"
"Have not seen him all night Lord Bowser." Ludwig answered. "The only way we know he's coming is because of the Fly Guy we sent and even then, he was pretty reluctant."
Bowser growled as he looked back out there. What's keeping Junior? His question was answered when the Bowser Phone rang.
"Son! We were wondering where you were! …Huh? You're-You're gonna watch the ceremony from your little clown car? Some ways away? And then you're going back to your room? …It's fine! Really! I didn't plan for the highest ranking Koop Troop members to sit together at the banquet later tonight at all! We'll talk about this later." Bowser put down the phone and sat glumly for a few minutes. He then dialed another number.
"Frank. Yeah, you're gonna wanna put Junior's chair back where you found it before I decide to play 'Stomp The Goomba.' Am I clear?"
Bowser hung up and walked towards the front stage fixing his grin back into position. Literally. He emerged in front of an audience that was already beginning to dance to the music. The koopa king cleared his throat yet again to recapture his audience's attention.
"Welcome everyone! I trust you're all taking in the sights of one of my many awesome cities?" The audience made some noises which neither confirmed nor denied that comment. "Well, now that everyone's here, I would just like to take a moment to proudly state that this year's Mario Kart tourney is sponsored by Bowser Oil (As Hot As Your Mom!) And the eight companies under its umbrella!"
Everybody stared anxiously. Rock was excited. He was about to get a concrete location as to the location of the adaptor parts. Bowser moved to the side, revealing a curtain.
The first sponsor to show up was Larry Koopa, driving a standard kart with customized headlights to resemble his new insignia.
"Hey ladies and gents! Tired of the same old boring headlights that suck when it comes to actually being useful? Want more stylish headlights? Then order now from 'Larry Lights', the same company responsible for lighting the impressive city you're now standing in!"
The second sponsor arrived shortly afterward and made his way to the stage, ignoring Larry's smug 'top that' smile. The sponsor set up a projector and played a shot for shot remake of Citizen Kane, with the sponsor himself playing the titular character. The only change to the script was changing every occurrence of the name "Rosebud" to "Morton Construction". Some in the audience were confused. Many more were moved to tears. At the end, Morton Koopa Jr. received a round of applause for his performance, much to the anger of that other koopa. What's-his-face.
Sponsor number three arrived along with the fifth sponsor in a pink muscle kart. She dropped off the fifth before driving into the center.
"Plastic seat covers? Outdated upholstery?" Wendy O. Koopa shook her head sadly. "Why would you torture your vehicle so horribly? Do the right thing and hire 'Wendy's Interior Design" to give your car the pampering and royal treatment it deserves!" Many vehicle owners in the audience felt ashamed and made a note o the name of her business. They failed to notice Wendy's snickering as the suckers fell for it.
It was around this time that Dr. Robotnik was becoming bored with the presentations as he began realizing who the other five sponsors were. He got up and turned to his associate.
"I'm heading down to the gift shop. Come get me when we start getting to the new sponsors."
The associate, with a new, blue chassis made to resemble the commander outfit of the Eggman Empire (TM) saluted as its creator left to go buy overpriced souvenirs. Eggman missed the fourth Koopaling to take the stage: Iggy Koopa.
"Greetings people of lesser brains!" he said to start his presentation. "I am a doctor, a physician, a scientist, psychiatrist, a professional liar, a profession liar and a mechanic. I'm also a glass blower! Thus, by the authority of my mechanic skills and my made up professions, I implore you to buy glass from Iggy Glass! For your health!"
Everyone applauded the mechanic/professional liar. They would most certainly buy his products in the future.
Roy Koopa was a much more simpler man. He drove the Badwagon up to the audience and turned it so that the speakers were facing them. Then, he simply played a metal remix of the final boss theme from "Yoshi's Island" at full volume. By the end, a significant portion of the Electrodrome was destroyed. Some members of the audience may have legitimately died. Despite this, he received critical and universal acclaim for his company, "Roy Smooth Sounds".
Despite being an extremely tough act to follow, Lemmy Koopa came up with a simple act: Running around the stage on top of a tire chanting "Tires Don Exits! Tires Don Exits!" The sheer amount of cute in this act guaranteed Lemmy's Tire Service several new customers.
The last Koopaling to take the stage was Ludwig Von Koopa. He spent a couple minutes performing tricks on his kart and then spent several more giving the audience a cultural lesson on the history of painting. After mentioning how, if one were to join as a Koopaling (somehow) they would get custom paintjobs on their landships, the audience burst out into applause as he finally stopped talking. Bowser himself retook the stage afterwards.
"And now, it's time for the last offshoot of Bowser Oil ('As soon as I saw flames emerge from my exhaust pipes, setting my car on fire, I knew I found heaven. In Oil form.' ~Crazy Hand)! Now this is a company that's closest to me (in a way). A company that has ties to me that go well beyond the level of the Koopalings. So allow me to introduce! The one! The only!
"…"
"Undead Motors! Kart motors so good, they never die! Because they're already dead!"
Dry Bowser drove onto the stage in his Bowser Trike- er, Bone Rattler and gave a pants ruining roar. The crowd went peanuts over it.
Mega Man sat stunned, unable to believe what just happened. Elec Man was rather amused.
"You were saying Rock?" he sarcastically asked.
"All right everybody, that's all the sponsors! Let's party like it's the announcement of Melee HD!"
"Hooray!" Everybody cheered.
"Stop!"
"Boo…" Everybody booed, even the Boos. Rock did not care as he jumped onto the track and began walking to the stage the Koopa Troop was presenting on.
"Alright Bowser! Where is Bowser Jr.? Where are my adaptor parts?!" The robot boy yelled at Bowz. The Koopa King gave a snort.
"What are you talking about tin can? What business do you have with my kid?"
"Seriously Mega Man, what's gotten into you?!" Elec Man asked. Mega Man paid him no mind.
"Bowser Jr. stole my super adaptor parts and you're hiding him! Why else would he not be present here?"
"I can think of seven good reasons…" Dry Bowser dryly (insert canned audience sitcom laughter here) commented, much to the Koopalings annoyance.
"I don't know where Junior is! And you better not talk to me like that again, unless you really want me to turn you into spare kart parts!" Bowser's eye shone dangerously as he made that threat. It looked like seconds remained before a smash would break out, but it was staved off by:
"Looking for me?"
Everyone looked to the skies to witness the bratty prince fly in in his now iconic vehicle with his malevolent minion hanging on one of the sides. Mega Man's eyes focused like a camera on the clown car as it descended to the ground. "In case there are some lamewads in the audience who don't know who I am, let me introduce myself. I'm Bowser Jr.: Future final boss, soon to be ruler of the world and eventual winner of this tourney! And I've taken time out of my duties to come here to beat you down Mega Dweeb!"
"Nice of you to show up kiddo…" Bowser sighed. "Now do you mind telling me what's going on?"
"I will dad! Just as soon as I show this loser what a true boss can do!"
The crowd immediately began laughing.
"Yeah right, pipsqueak!" Ridley shouted from snack bar where he and the bosses were severing snacks. "Why don't you go back to hiding in your dad's shadow?"
Bowser Jr. growled at that comment, but fortunately there was a way he could deal with it! The child pulled out his paintbrush and rushed Mega Man. Remembering all too well the canyon incident, Mega Man attempted a spotdodge and proceeded to shoot at the kid. Bowser Jr. ducked into the car which took the brunt of the shots. Dissatisfied with that, the robot followed up with a Mega Upper, totaling the car. As Mega Man looked at the damaged clown car he heard a horrified shriek.
"You wrecked my clown car you stupid piece of junk!" The Blue Bomber turned to see the Koopa prince odiously staring at him. Junior then turned to Iggy and threw something that the lanky koopaling was just narrowly able to catch. Mega Man's optical receptors were easily able to make out the adaptor parts in his hands. All seven koopalings noticed the shift in attention and wisely began retreating via their karts.
As this was going on, Dark Toon emerged from his hiding spot and began fixing the clown car to the extent of his abilities. Junior quickly hurried over to help him. The end result was a shoddily fixed clown car which wouldn't last for too long. Bowser Jr. and Blink gave Mega Man a dismissive stare and drove off via kart mode. Particularly persistent tonight, the human-like robot simply called up a pink and red colored dog robot, which turned into a motorcycle. Mega Man proceeded to pet the head of his dog Rush, before hopping on and giving chase.
The Rush Cycle kept on the tail of the Clown Kart as they drove around the grounded floors of the Electrodrome. Junior and Blink exchanged heated glances. It would seem that a more "aquaman-esque" evasive maneuver was necessary. As the Junior Clown Car drove towards the ramps, its engine roared and it sped up. The audience was stunned. They watched as the "Versatile Chariot" rammed into the wall the ramps were on and plunge into the water.
What the audience didn't see, however, was the Clown Car changing into its submersible mode. A glass dome covered the cockpit while the propeller relocated itself to the back of the machine. With the coast clear, the vessel began moving towards the outer ocean of the Electrodrome, where the Prince of Koopas' submarine "house" was parked.
"Yeesh! What's Mega Dweeb's problem?" Bowsy ranted. "Doesn't he know the term 'finder's keepers loser's weepers?"
"Seems like he really wants to get those parts back Prince Junior." Dark Toon Link said, shifting in the rather cramped pod. "Think he'll come after us?"
"He better." Junior muttered to Blink's confusion.
"What do you mean?"
"I mean that I want Mega Dweeb to find us. If he thought that I was tricky before, he hasn't seen what happens when you trash my clown car!"
The clown car eventually arrived and docked in an underwater block fortress. The boys hopped out of the craft not a moment too soon as it fell apart shortly after. The Bowsy Battalion stared at the destroyed mecha and its infuriated owner. Bowser Jr. stared right back at his forces.
What are you losers waiting around for?!" He yelled "Stop standing around and waiting for Christmas and start fixing my clown car!"
The battalion jumped with shock and a few Monty Moles began dragging the clown car over to the east wing of the fortress. Still angry, Bowser Jr. began walking to his room with Blink following on his heels.
"If that's true then why not send me out there? I could probably make blue boy scream 'uncle' in the time it takes for you to take a nap!"
Bowser Jr. gave his loyal amiibo a sly smile.
"That's just it! Mega Dweeb will be so focused on finding those parts, that he'll be pooped out when he reaches me. Then, I can force him to surrender and make him my minion!
"Or you could simply send me! I'm an amiibo remember? I could easily take him! I'm practically an expert by now!"
"Airdodging and rolling repeatedly is cheating! Not 'expertise'!"
"But it works doesn't it?!"
Larry Koopa!
Larry sat in his airship, chatting with his siblings over personalized Bowser Phones. Apparently, that 'Parts We Stole From Mega Dweeb' report thing was much more important than Bowser Jr. initially let on.
"…And that's why that crazy robot showed up at the gala!" Larry looked rather annoyed as he recalled the events. "And do you know what he said to me earlier when I asked him about those parts? 'If dad nor I said anything, then butt out!' I can't believe Bowsy of all people is keeping secrets from us."
Ludwig calmly waited until Larry was out of steam before commenting. Larry's anger was one of the things that caused Bowser to see a lot of himself in the young koopaling.
"Junior seems to have gotten awfully standoffish as of late." Ludwig mused. "Do you believe that it has something to do with the tournament?"
"I'm more curious about that boy that follows him everywhere." Wendy admitted while doing her nails. "He's like a guard chomp, except somehow even more protective."
"I don't know why, but I just know that thing ain't right somehow." Roy said "Have you seen the way that the kid talks to it? Meanwhile, he's throwin' us under the bus!"
"Indeed." Ludwig thought of the Toon Link amiibo that followed Bowser Jr. around all the time. For somebody on his royal guard, Bowsy was keeping that thing rather tight to him. It seemed like the amiibo was the only who knew what was currently going on. And that boded interestingly for the future. It was rather interesting to wonder what Bowsy did or did not tell it.
Meanwhile, the Koopalings were slowly falling out of favor with the prince. Those seven who he once thought of as the closest thing to friends he had (alongside Metal Sonic admittedly, but still) were slowly becoming dangerous in his eyes. And not the favorable kind of dangerous either. Whilst it was hard to say what exactly started the line, it was clear what eventually crossed it: The Koopalings mass produced weapons functioned exactly the same as Bowsy's paintbrush, clown car and shadow bandana. To compensate, the weapons functioned on a time/context based system where they would only work during smashes. There were only two people who could override the timer: Bowsy was one and Ludwig suspected that the amiibo was the other. To everyone else this seemed like a rather odd and selfish choice to make. To the Koopalings, it was a rather clear sign of something else.
"What do you think Iggy?" Lemmy asked over the call.
"Can't talk, busy looking at this thing."
"Well what about Morton?"
"I daresay that the Crown Prince of Koopas is acting in quite a stealthy manner. On the other side of the spectrum, perhaps he is quite swamped with numerous orders of business and he is acting odiously in response. We would do best as to avoid stroking his wrath and allowing him his distance." Morton said as he adjusted his monacle and fiddled with his mustache. The Koopalings all nodded happily before Ludwig spoke up.
"Larry. Who's in the room with you?"
"I dunno. Probably just one of the minions."
"Subject: Larry Koopa. Engaging…"
"…The crazy robot is in the room with me. If I don't answer in the next hour, assume I'm a trophy."
Larry turned around to look at his guest. The robot stared at him with LED eyes. Larry retracted one of his arms into his shell, looking for his wand.
"So… Mega Man was it? Yeah, Bowsy told me quite a lot about you."
"Has he?" Mega Man asked. Larry nodded.
"Yup! And I think he's been seriously overhyping you!" Larry pulled out his wand and shot a fireball. Mega Man rolled out of the way and countered with a Mega Buster shot. Larry yelped out and retreated into his shell, spinning around the room. When he jumped out, Mega Man shot him with another power shot.
"Stop stun-locking me!" Larry complained but Mega Man simply aimed his buster. Larry probably would have ended up out cold and Mega Man simply moved on had Bass not burst into the room at that moment.
"I should have known you would chase down these brats Mega Man! I hope none of them gave you too much trouble. After all, my victory would mean nothing if you weren't fighting at full power!" Bass activated his Bass Buster, spreading rounds across the area. Mega Man hid behind a random trunk while Larry hid behind his desk.
"Come on Bass!" Mega Man yelled exasperated that this quick fight was lengthened. "I'm doing something important!"
Taking advantage of this distraction, Larry reached into his desk and pulled out an e-reader. He swiped the "2x Boss health" card and found himself reinvigorated. He jumped over his desk and shot another spell at Mega Man.
"Okay you stupid robot! It's time for Larry to get dangerous!" The (supposed) leader of Bowser's minions yelled as he jumped towards Mega Man. The Blue Bomber gritted his teeth and prepared another round with the young Koopaling only for Larry to get picked up by the hair by Bass.
"Mega Man's mine to destroy you little blue haired wimp!
"Hey! Let go of me trashbucket! I gotta stop that guy!"
"Trashbucket? Why don't you say that to my-"
Bass' threat never materialized as Rockman's Flame Burst blasted both parties. Mega Man quickly shot a Crash Bomb onto Larry's spinning form to distract him and turned to Bass.
"Sorry." The robot squeaked before uppercutting Forte into the atmosphere. With his rival out of commission for now, the Blue Bomber turned his attention back to the youngest Koopaling who just lost the distraction that could have given him an edge.
"Hey, Mega Man. Buddy. How are you doing?" Larry shrieked as Mega Man lifted him with the Super Arm.
"Where are the Super Adaptor parts?" Mega Man asked.
"Super Adaptor? What Super Adaptor?" Mega Man squeezed Larry's shell. "If you mean those parts Bowsy threw to Iggy then I don't know! Morton might know where they are though! You should go interrogate him!"
Mega Man carefully set the koopa down and beamed out of the airship. Larry slowly got up and made his way over to the phone.
"Message for Prince Junior!" Charlie ran towards prince of koopas' bedroom where he and his amiibo were shouting excitedly about something they were drawing.
"It's gonna be so cool! It'll be like a double dash kart!"
"It'll hold as much as a clown car!"
"Mega Dweeb won't know what hit him!" Bowser Jr. turned around only to find Charlie standing right next to him. "What do you want?"
"Bad news Prince Junior. Mega Man is slowly making his way through the ranks of the Koopalings! Right now he is engaging Morton Koopa Jr. in a battle of wits."
"It's elementary." Morton explained as he fixed his monocle "I shall educate that persistent invader in a game of chess. In the extremely unlikely situation that he defeats me, I shall have my companion Boom Boom attack his cranium unit."
"Smashin' heads!"
"My apologies to Prince Junior for harming his senpai."
He's not my senpai!" Bowser Junior said a little too quickly. Still he looked uneasy. Like this pattern was familiar somehow…
Oh wait. It is.
"No, no no! Mega Dweeb's gonna reach Iggy in no time at this rate! What's keeping him anyway?!"
"Oh yeah! I just remembered!" Charlie leaned in close to the boys. "Iggy says he's on to something with those parts. Something incredible."
"Strange," Bowser Jr. folded his arms. "You'd think that whatever he was onto, he'd be ready to show before Mega Dweeb reached him."
"That's the thing. He needs additional help to finish the parts. He claims that somebody, er, 'dropped in' to take him to someone who's worked with parts like those."
Junior looked at Dark Toon with an irritated glance. They'll hunt Iggy down later. First, they need to make sure that they stop Mega Man from taking the glasses-wearing Koopaling on too soon. But how?
"Where did Mega Dweeb come from anyway?" Blink asked. Junior looked proud for a moment that his minion was picking up his nickname usage and then thought about that question. Where did that blue boy with the buster come from? Bowsy thought long and hard, remembering all the times he watched enviously as Rock dared to sit with that loser Ness and his gang while the prince sat all by his lonesome. The sheer resentment was rather scary considering that the current cycle isn't even a year old yet. He thought about that stupid laughing face with unnatural skin, those not-at-all-human LED lights that everyone sees as eyes, the extremely eerie way that Rock's body looked human but had minor imperfections: the way he never breaths, the way he can stand dead still, the obviously robotic joints with a Dr. L logo on them…
Bowsy quickly ran over to his bed where the doodles of Mega Man were. Sure enough, he had drawn a rather crude version of the logo in one of the corners of the page. Junior smirked as he turned to the bob-omb and the amiibo.
"You! Charlie or whatever your name is! Call my Dad!"
"Ah, so a third player is involved in this mess is he?" Grima muttered. "We must learn more of the actions of King Bowser to create a clearer picture of this tale."
"That's easy! Dad told me everything he did and exactly how he did it." Bowser Jr. said. Mega Man glared at him.
"Please Junior. We need truth, not your dad's lies."
"My dad wouldn't lie on TV!"
"…He isn't…"
"Oh yeah I am!"
Everybody turned to the audience entrance as "Objection!" began playing in the background. Standing in the door was King Bowser, wearing a black tuxedo for his television debut and a smirk literally twelve parsecs wide, pushing audience members out of their seats. King Koopa sauntered his way over to the set, winking and blowing kisses to many audience members as he did. The ladies, and some of the men swooned. Rock made an annoyed growling noises as Bowsy began wiggling in the chair, attempting to jump with joy.
"First of all Grima, let me say that I'm a big fan of your show. Watched every episode I could and even a few I couldn't. So when I heard that you wanted my son on your show, I just had to accept that deal."
"Thank you for your support mortal, but I'm afraid that will not keep me from devouring your kingdom even if I remember your pitiful existence."
Bowser laughed along with the audience.
"Oh, classic Grima."
"What are you doing here Bowser?" Mega Man asked with his left arm transforming into the Mega Buster. Bowser raised his arms defensively at the sight.
"Calm down Tights Lad! I'm only here to fill in the gaps in your story! Besides, why wouldn't I be here for my boy?"
Mega Man returned his arm to normal, but still looked weary. Bowser Jr. was extremely confident as he listened to his father.
"When I heard Junior finally found his own hero to mess with, there was no way to describe my pride. Although he didn't tell me who he was fighting with, he was finally putting himself forward and on his way to becoming a proper villain just like his pop! Of course, he's still aware of who the current baddest of the bad was, so when he called I answered…"
Wavy Flashback Transition: Ghost of Wavy Flashback Transition past…
Meanwhile… At the Arena…
"Guys! Bowser Jr.'s missing!"
Everyone stared at Mario before continuing what they were doing before, which was celebrating Lucas' visit and eventual return.
"Oh Lucas!" Ness said with tears in his eyes. "We thought you were dead!"
"Ness, I'm glad to see yo-You all thought I was dead?!"
"Sure!"
From a short ways away, Diddy, Alph, Red, Squirtle and Ivysaur (the latter three also visiting the arena today) watched.
"(Lucas isn't dead?)" Diddy asked.
"Nope. Nobody's dead really, just working odd jobs like the assist trophies until we can get back in. The only exception is Snake, who keeps hiding because he thinks he'll die otherwise."
Snake looked out from inside his box.
"You don't know kid. You don't know."
"In fact," Red continued, "The fact that everyone thinks they're dead is the whole reason why the Ice Climbers can go around playing jokes on everyone."
At the center tables, Falco sat on a whoopee cushion, growling as everyone laughed. Diddy and Alph suddenly saw two parka wearing children high five each other, unnoticed by everyone else.
"(Oo! Imagine the pranks we can pull with that! Maybe we can convince them to hang out with us from time to time!)"
"Why don't you guys hang out with Ness and his gang?" Red asked as Squirtle began poking at Ivysaur's flower.
"(Well first, because we're constantly ignored. Second…)" Diddy shivered as he looked at the group hug. "(Because, for once, Junior is right: those four are kinda creepy. Like 'too close' creepy. I get the same vibe when the Bowser Junior glares at Mega Man or hangs out with that Toon Link look-alike now that I think about it…)"
Suddenly, a bloodcurdling scream filled the air. It was Luigi who was looking panicked as all get out. And that panic was justified because-
"Bowser just lost the Egg Cup to the Yoshi Runners!"
Everyone also panicked and began hiding in boxes mysteriously set up around the arena. Hell hath no fury like an ox-turtle demon king who lost a kart race to a dinosaur and a bunch of babies. Lo and behold, King Koopa burned down the door with his flame breath, seething at the satisfied green Yoshisaur and his saddleful of toddlers that entered along with him. Baby Daisy hung happily off one of the handles of the cup.
Bowser stomped over to the evil table, his mood as black as Mr. Game and Watch, while he tried to get all thoughts of infanticide out of his head. He sat down with a tray of mystery meat next to Ganondorf.
"Just when I thought this day couldn't get any better!" Bowser grumbled upon seeing the king of thieves. Dorf himself was still somewhat uneasy about their previous tango, but still saw fit to cheer up his 'friend'.
"Do not worry Bowser. There is a ray of sunshine in the clouds of bitter defeat." Ganondorf said, slightly puking in his mouth. He definitely should have phrased that more in-character.
"Huh."
"Master Hand has announced that new fighters shall be joining us. This includes our previous partner."
Bowser spat fire out of jubilant excitement. He looked at Ganondorf intensely.
"No foolin'?!"
"Indeed. After he recovers from an incident (something to do with illnesses and pills?) he will rejoin our team. And also, if a hunch I have is correct, we may be have a chance to get more… people like us into this tournament!"
"FINALLY! About time things started going our way for once! Now, what was that hunch of yours and how can it help us kidnap Peach?"
Suddenly, the Bowser Phone gave its now all-too-common ring. Bowser held a finger and took the call.
"This is the king of all things cool and evil speaking! What do you want?!" Bowser's face softened slightly before turning stern. "Junior! I haven't seen you all chapter! At least, not since you disrupted my gala! I had to reschedule because of that fight and while I'm proud of you for making an effort, you can't just run away like that! All you needed to do was call ol' dad and I would've taken care of it for you. Unless," Bowser's eye narrowed. "You don't want me to." Bowser listened to the voice on the other side. "I dunno kiddo. I've been hearing things… We'll talk about this later! Where are you? More importantly, where are the Koopalings!? I was barely able to scrounge up a full team and even then, we still stunk out there!"
Curious as to the escapades of this new smasher, G-man hovered closely to Bowser. Now within earshot, he could hear Bowsy's voice on the other end.
"They're helping me with something big papa!" Junior's voice came through. "And it's something super important! And I kinda need your help for this next bit."
"Well sure son. What do you need?"
"There's this… guy. He wants to get something back that I 'borrowed' from him. He's probably gonna go after Iggy next, but I can't let him do that because…reasons!"
Bowser grinned as he heard the news. His son is getting a jumpstart on his career in evil already. And, since Mario's here in the lunch room, it's gotta be someone new!
"That's my boy! Already you're scheming against your own rival just like your father! But where do I fit into this scheme of yours?"
Bowser Jr. and Dark Toon Link exchanged nervous glances. This was the tricky part. Dark Toon held up the printed "Nookipedia" page.
"I need you to kidnap someone to close to him to distract him. The guy you need to nab is old, has a big beard, kinda looks like Santa Claus, supposedly lives in some lame city with a stupid name. 'Monsteropolis' or something as stupid as that. He also has a sign thingy that has "Dr. L" on it or something like that."
Bowser Sr. frowned and pursed his eyebrows with thought. That insignia sounded vaguely familiar. Now that he thought about it, wasn't there someone shouting at him for something or another. Then Junior came along and in the end, Bowser decided to take a nap and worry about it later? Bowser shrugged his shoulders and ignored Ganondorf's curious looks.
"Alright son. If it'll really help your plot then I'll play along. Give me five to ten minutes and come to the castle we race at (which is totally awesome by the way, I should maybe take you someday). Santa will be behind bars."
"Thanks dad! You're still the best dad ever."
That comment got a smile out of Bowser. He hung the phone up and snapped his fingers. Immediately, the Koopa Clown Car busted through the ceiling and allowed Bowz to hop in. Bowser then flew away, eager to blow off some steam. Ganondorf sat awkwardly with the abandoned mystery meat until Bowser flew back and picked up the tray.
"I'm still eating this." Bowser said and he flew away laughing, bits of unidentified meat flying from his mouth.
Light Labs…
Ice Man created another ice block around three of Bomb Man's bombs, allowing Gutsman to hurl them at the hovercraft outside the lab.
"What is that thing?" Ice Man asked.
"I dunno." Gutsman said. "I don't think that could be Dr. Wily. I mean, unless he gave up flying saucers and skulls for… clowns."
The bowl shaped hovercraft with a clown for a face was undeterred in its approach to the residence of the good doctor as it swiftly dodged the bomb packets and hovered over the roof. The smiling, white and green colored vessel then tilted over in order to drop its payload consisting of a large green spiked ball into the lab. Dr. Light, Roll and Auto looked anxiously at it only to scream in fear as it uncurled to reveal King Bowser.
"What's up doc? I can't really explain right now, but you're coming with me!" Bowser grew even larger and grabbed Light in his hand. The doctor struggled in his grasp.
"Unhand me you creature!" He yelled to no avail.
"Give back the doctor!" Roll yelled, changing one of her hands into an arm cannon. Bowser scoffed at the sight.
"Oh no, the little girl is gonna shoot me with her tiny gun." He then laughed for a good while, up until Roll unleashed her Roll Buster and knocked out most of Bowser's HP bar in one shot. "HOW?!"
"Mobile game remake overpowerness." She explained in a sweet tone. Bowser gave a fierce glare before tossing Dr. Light into the Koopa Clown Car. Before Light could even grasp the sides, Bowser himself shrunk back to normal and hopped in. Then he turned to the robots who were now glaring at him.
"All right you little tinker toys! I've got your creator and I'll be keeping him until I fulfill whatever it is I need him for. Until then, fear my inevitable return!" Bowser then laughed manically as he flew his craft back to the Bowser Badlands. The Right-bot Masters fumed at the loss.
"Dang." Auto briefly said. "This wouldn't have happened if Mega Man was here."
"Well he's not." Roll replied. "So it's up to us to chase after that guy and get Dr. Light back!"
"Yeah!"
"…Right after we clean up the lab! Can't have Dr. Light return to a home in shambles now, can we?"
"Roll…"
"You managed to kidnap Dr. Light that easily?!" Mega Man asked, horrified.
"Yup! But don't feel too bad about it blue boy. I've been in the kidnapping business for years! It's only natural that Santa and his toys failed to stop me." Bowser laughed in Rock's face.
"Wow. And I thought Grima had no life." Zanza muttered under his breath.
"What did you say you blond brat?!"
"I said that the only thing you think about ever is eating people. Seriously, you either brainwash people to do your bidding or you brag about making everything into a meal! Get some original material for crying out loud!"
"Guys," Bowser stood up and waved his hands to break up the fight, much to the audience's disappointment. "I know it's hard to control yourselves (especially in my presence) but the audience is watching."
Grima sighed and looked toward Zanza.
"Had it not been for my binding to status quo, I would have backed my words Zanza. Your rear end would have been the first of my grand feast."
"Sounds kinky." Somebody in the audience whispered.
"Glad to know we're on the same page." Zanza said.
Bowser noticed Mega Man looking bitter at the mention of "status quo".
"What's with you?" He asked.
"Well-…"
"Never mind! Don't care!"
"Pardon…"
"Well, by this point I got back to my castle with beardy in tow."
"So… Any particular reason you kidnapped me?" Dr. Light nervously asked Bowser from within a jail cell located in the catacombs of Bowser's Castle. Light had heard very… interesting theories as to why Bowser kidnapped people. Bowser crossed his arms at the question.
"Just between you and me, it's more Junior who wanted you. Can't imagine why though."
Junior?
"Y-You have a son?" Dr. Light asked.
"Yup. I also have seven protégées. Pretty sweet for a king right?"
"And is there a queen?"
"Not yet! But when I marry Princess Peach, I can finally move on to phase two: Complete global conquest/terraformation!"
"I see." Dr. Light shifted uncomfortably as he talked with the megalomaniac. Bowser looked slightly curious. In fact…
"Hey! That girl that was trying to scare me off! Is she yours?"
"Yes, my daughter. No biological mother. She's a robot. A rather sophisticated one at that."
"Huh. That would explain the arm cannon. I feel like I saw it somewhere before though… Do you have any sons?"
"That depends. Some would say only two. Others would say more."
Dr. Light shivered as he saw Bowser's eyes go wide. It was as if a light bulb had gone off in the Koopa's head.
"What's your name beardy?"
"Dr. Thomas Light."
Bowser was struck dead silent.
As Bowser gladly took in submissions for the gala, he felt a tap on his knee. Mega Man held up a section of his arm revealing the "Dr.L" insignia on it.
"Light Labs."
"Alright Bowser! Where is Bowser Jr.? Where are my adaptor parts?!" The robot boy yelled at Bowz. The Koopa King gave a snort.
"What are you talking about tin can? What business do you have with my kid?"
"Seriously Mega Man, what's gotten into you?!" Elec Man asked. Mega Man paid him no mind.
"Bowser Jr. stole my super adaptor parts and you're hiding him! Why else would he not be present here?"
"There's this… guy. He wants to get something back that I 'borrowed' from him. He's probably gonna go after Iggy next, but I can't let him do that because…reasons!"
Bowser's face froze into a wild grin.
"This is fine." He said confidently. "I am okay of the events that are currently unfolding." He then walked outside the room. Dr. Light heard horrible anguish fueled noises on the other end.
Mega Man beamed down from the third airship he encountered, Wendy O. Koopa's. He began walking off in a direction vaguely relating to location of the fourth Koopaling's airship.
Wendy snarled as she shot more rings from her hands. Mega Man looked unworried and simply popped an E-Tank when his vitality started getting low.
"What is this thing?!" Pom Pom asked in a badly dubbed voice as she teleported around the room looking for somewhere Mega Man couldn't shoot her immediately. Wendy growled again.
"I don't know! It's like he's some kind of Super Fighting-Eek!"
Mega Man had fought Wendy and Pom Pom and won, with some broken panels on his helmet to show for it. Mega Man took a look at the recent transmissions and soon found himself on a road leading to the castle of his arch nemesis: Dr. Wily. He started down the long winding path to the fortress but paused when he noticed a wormhole behind him. The robot began to leg it.
From the bow of his newly renovated airship, Bowser Jr. smirked as he watched his prey flee. The brat pointed a clawed finger forward.
"Blast him!"
The next several minutes were horrible for Mega Man as the airship fired a massive amount of explosives at him. Bob-Ombs, Bullet Bills, Banzai Bills and balls of electric energy all came from the airship which not only sported a new green and orange paintjob for the cabin, but also had familiar growling teeth on the new cannon lid in front of the ship. The ship even lowered toward the ground and opened the lid to fire something much larger than a Banzai Bill.
Mega Man dropped to the ground to avoid the giant missile and yet, still felt something collide with the back of his head. He waited for the barrage to continue. It never did. Instead, he turned around to find a simple, bent arrow on the ground with a canister attached to it. Inside was a letter.
"Dear Mega Dweeb
What do you think you're doing?! Where do you get off finishing off the Koopalings so fast?! You're supposed to be going through a level each before fighting them! Well it doesn't matter! Even with your massive cheating, I still have a trick up my sleeve. I had my dad kidnap your dad (who is much lamer than my dad by the way) and gave the keys to dad's castle to Roy, Lemmy and Ludwig. There's no way you're gonna beat them! You're welcome to try and fight them though. And then fight me too, but don't be surprised when you end up running home crying! Especially when you fight me!
- Bowser Jr."
Mega Man stared flabbergasted at the letter. A quick turn revealed a photo that showed that the doctor has been kidnapped once again, this time by the tyrannical King Bowser. Rock glared at the airship which was retreating into another wormhole before walking off towards the mountains where the shades wearing koopaling resided.
Bowser Jr. hopped giddily as he watched Mega Man's reaction. That blue pest had to be taking him seriously now. He turned to his battalion.
"Okay guys! First, I wanna say that the Mondo Secret Uber Awesome Radical Project was a success! Everyone else can only wish they had an airship this awesome!"
The entire Bowsy Battalion cheered.
"But, I created plans for a brand new mech that'll require Dad's old Road Galleon. Also you still gotta repair my clown car. And I want both of those done ASAP!"
The battalion aww'd as they began piloting the airship back towards the boulevard to begin working on the projects. Bowser Jr. did not notice as he entered his office, now decorated with banners and a new carpet, both prominently displaying his insignia.
"I still think you should have let me take him." Blink huffed. "I don't see why you just want to sit wait. Especially since you wanna fight him so badly too." Bowser Jr. shook his head profusely.
"Don't worry! I've seen dad go through this a whole bunch of times. He sends me and the Koopalings to nab the princess while he waits for us and Mario to show up. Then, he attacks Mario, but Mario usually cheats! Grr!"
Dark Toon Link was quiet for a moment. Then he asked:
"Does it work?"
"Of course! Dad's been using this plan for years! It's a tradition!"
"…But does it work?"
"…Shut up! When it's our turn to fight, he won't know what hit him." Bowsy sat in the captain's chair, Blink sitting on one of the handles shortly after.
"I have a good feeling about you Mega Dweeb," Bowsy thought to himself. "And I want you to know that I'm ready for you." Bowsy glanced over at his poster wall, still up even after the renovations. "And this time'll be different! I'll take you on without Dad or…them. And I'll show you why I'm prince of the koopas! Now, to doodle all over my office! Hehehe!"
The crowd began murmuring as the three guest sat remembering the past.
"So that's why Junior didn't want me butting in too much." Bowser thought to himself.
He watched his son who was poking Rock's head incessantly. Unlike most Meatbags though, Rock ignored the child, which was quickly getting on said child's nerves.
"That's how it happened is it?" Grima asked, twirling a pencil nonchalantly.
"Yup! I saved my plan to defeat Mega Dweeb and humiliate him!"
"…By hiding behind your dad."
The villainous audience members once again broke into laughter. Rock glanced at Bowsy and was rather put off by the anger radiating from him.
"Go ahead… laugh at the future king of koopas." He muttered. "I'll show you losers."
Rock gave a worried look to Bowser who gave a chuckle.
"Yeah, sometimes this happens…"
Shortly into the Melee tournament…
"Roar!" Bowsy, Prince of the Koopas (with his bandana up) tried to look menacing to his audience at the arena. "I, Bowser the second, shall be competing in the next Super Smash Brothers tournament! Hah, Hah, HAH!"
The fighters all stopped what they were doing and stared at him.
"Oh my goodness." Nana started, trying to find words. "He's so… Adorable!"
Pretty soon, everyone in the arena was commenting on how cute and harmless Bowsy was, even compared to Pichu.
"Who's a cute little guy?! You are! You are!"
"Oh man, that thing is almost as cute as Pichu! Thank Master Hand I won't be punching both of them in the face!"
"Why do we have so many adorable things in these tourneys?! It's a conspiracy I tell you, A CONSPIRACY!"
Amongst all the cooing and bemoaning that was going on, Bowser Sr. simply looked into his son's eyes and flinched from the sheer bloodlust that had appeared in those beady windows to the soul.
Shortly into the Brawl tournament…
"Okay," Bowsy started, no longer wearing his bandana up. "So, I didn't get into the tournament. But I'll get in the next one! And then I'll pay you losers back for not taking me seriously!"
All the Brawlers stopped what they were doing and stared at him.
"Oh, Junior…" Nana started, trying to find words. "You're… even cuter!"
Pretty soon, everyone was talking about how adorable and shy Bowsy was, even compared to Lucas.
"Junior, that's so kawaii!"
"I'm already feeling guilty for beating up one motherless kid, now I have to beat up two?!"
"See! I told you it was a conspiracy! A Conspiracy I tell you!"
Amongst all the cooing and bemoaning that was going on, Bowser Sr. simply looked into his son's eyes and flinched from the sheer HATRED that had erupted in those beady dots one calls eyes.
"Still, let me tell you! He could still be worse." Bowser laughed again.
"What do you mean?"
Bowser looked around, sneaky-like, and leaned forward.
"People are saying that it's dormant or something like that now, but he may have inherited my Giga gene." Bowz whispered.
"Your Giga gene? What is-"
"Wouldn't you like to know."
"..."
"Gentlemen! Do you have something to share with the class?!" Grima thundered. The guests were silent. "Now you've made me cranky! Are we at the part where the kouhai and the senpai fight?"
"No."
"GRR…"
"But we're close." Rock said. "And he's not my kouhai."
"Whatever! It's been almost 20 pages! We're going to go out for donuts and SOULS and you three are gonna wrap up this story when we get back so we can move on to more exciting things!" Everyone agreed heartily and Tom Nook signaled another commercial.
Yeah, 18+ pages in Word. And keep in mind that, aside from Larry, I've only showed the plans and snippits of Mega Man's battles with the Koopalings. So I've got two options (since I'll probably show a snippet of Roy's fight and I've already got an idea on how to excuse Lemmy): Skip Ludwig, or have Ludwig back up Iggy and Dr. "Definitely-Not-Wily-Why-Do-You-Ask" to condense it to one fight. And since after that, Rock has to fight Bowser, Jr. and possibly the amiibo…
Also, now that Lucas, Roy and Ryu are out, I now have more material to write about (then again, I have much more material in general post E3). The next story arc in particular has Roy as a focus as I started writing it when we only had the audio files to go off of.
Note: As of now, Chapters 1-4 constitute the 'pilot' of Bowser's Modern Life due to the early elements (Red and Villager lived with Bowser, Bowser was portrayed as more comically abusive,...) Dorf Days of Bummer onward is the "current" Bowser's Modern Life.
Fun Facts:
This chapter went through a lot of different ideas. I've included a few below.
As you can guess, the Koopaling fights were originally much longer, with Junior using a roulette (similar to the one on the Bowser amiibo board to send monsters or minions to help them (Lemmy and Motley Bossblob, Ludwig and Kamek etc.) Morton and Wendy's scenes are remnants of this idea.
The scene where Mega Man was thrown off by the word "Status Quo" was originally going to lead to rock going into a rant and would tie in to an idea that will be discussed next chapter. If you've played the later Mega Man games (like 7 and up) and paid attention to his attitude in those games, you can probably guess why. Here's the original exchange:
"And then it hit me: This is my life. I fight robot masters, I fight Wily, I let him go, he escapes, Copperfield Man makes him disappear, the skull castle blows up.
And shortly after? It happens again! And it'll happen again after the next time! And after that. And after that. And after that. And after that. And…"
"Oh boo hoo!" Bowser interrupted. "Take a ticket and wait your turn buddy. Nobody cares for the stupid broken record you call your life. You just described my entire villainous career better than I ever could."
"Pardon…"
"Well, by this point I got back to my castle with beardy in tow…"
Finally, the original plan for this arc was for Mega Man to expose Bowser Jr.'s threats on the Lord Grima show (as shown in part 1) after "Dorf Days of Bummer". Among other things that went up with that similar concept, Rock was going to speak with Ness who would be worried that Junior was turning out more like someone he once knew (read: Porky Minch). That will be important in the future.
Back during the days when Dark Toon Link wasn't an amiibo (or at least initially), I played with the idea of Bowser stealing the sky castle from Paper Bowser. The exchange went pretty much the same way "Mario and Luigi: Paper Jam's" went, except far more brutal to Paper Bowser (mocking the villain decay and later simplification he underwent as time went on in contrast to canon Bowser).
The changes Junior's airship went through as a result of the plan not only includes minor things from the Mario Kart arcade games, but also something from an unused concept for the airship in NSMBW.
Roll's buster is based on her appearance in the japan exclusive Mega Man 1 mobile game.
Next Time: This arc ends with more climatic over-the-top battles, more plot progression and a(n attempt at writing a) bittersweet ending that was hinted at at the beginning of this chapter.