Ianto was ironing his shirts when his doorbell buzzed. He turned the iron off and contemplated pretending he wasn't home. Since he didn't know who was at the door he had no way of knowing if it was someone he wanted to see or not, so he gave in and opened the door anyway. He found he was actually disappointed it wasn't Jack. 'Hello 'Rhi.'

'Ianto, you didn't return my call.'

He shrugged. 'I didn't want to.' He knew it was a measure of how out of sorts he was that he had been so bluntly honest with his sister. 'I'm sorry, I shouldn't have said that.'

Rhiannon rolled her eyes. 'Am I to take it you don't always want to talk to me?'

'Well, no.'

'Wow, I'm not sure what to say about that.'

'Come in and think about it, I have ironing I would like to finish.' He let his sister shut the door behind her.

'It's been six years, since dad died Ianto. That is what I wanted to talk to you about.'

Ianto felt a huge sigh of relief, he wasn't sure what was going on with him and Jack, which meant he couldn't exactly explain it to his sister. And thankfully, it seemed that wasn't why she was here now. 'What did you want to discuss?'

'I know you and he didn't have a great relationship Ianto, but it would be nice for our mam if you came to the grave.'

'I'm probably going to be busy when you do that Rhi.'

'You aren't too busy to get out and about with someone.'

'Here we go.' Ianto muttered softly.

'One of Johnny's mates was at the Corner Bar the other night, he said you were looking quite cosy with someone in the corner.'

Ianto turned his iron off again and decided the ironing would have to wait, sitting next to his sister he looked at her. 'I don't know what to say to that, I was having a few drinks with a friend, he's new to Cardiff.' He looked at his sister. 'At what point do I get to live my own life without your network of spies following my every move.'

'It's not like that Ianto.'

'It isn't, my mistake then, what is it?'

'I'm your sister, I'm worried about you. You never bring any girlfriend's around, not since Veronica at school.'

Ianto sighed. 'You've been talking to mam again haven't you, about more than just a visit to an empty grave.'

'It's not empty Ianto.'

'Well it's not like he's actually there is he. It's just a place with a body in it. Mam moved on, we should too.'

'Ianto, I'm not sure what's gotten into you, but I don't think I like it.'

'See why I didn't return your call.'

'I'm starting to.'

Ianto sighed. 'Look, it's been a busy day and I just want to get my ironing done, I don't want to visit dad's grave. I don't want to go on whatever date you and our mam have dredged up for me. And I am not apologising for any of that.'

'Well you've changed.'

'I have, haven't I.'

'I don't know if I like it.'

'Look, how about I put the kettle on and we have a cup of tea, you can tell me all about how David and Mica are doing.'

'I'd like that Ianto.'

He called back to her from the kitchen. 'Have you got any photos?'

Jack let himself back into his flat and decided it was whiskey o'clock as he poured himself a glass. He tried to find logic and order in his world and laughed, like that was going to happen. He felt something under his thigh and pulled out a diary, he'd forgotten it was even in the pocket of his coat, it must have fallen out on the sofa. It was worn and tattered since he'd been carrying it for the last ten years. He pulled the letter out that was tucked in the cover, he opened it carefully, even though he he'd read it maybe a thousand times.

Jack, when you're reading this, I'll be dead.

I can only hope it's like my gran and I was 86 not like Lisa at 26. But let's be realistic, I work for TW and we don't often get to retire in this line of work. I wanted to say so many things that I didn't have the words for, or the courage to say. I can only hope I found the courage over the years. It wasn't always easy for me to admit to loving you. (I never thought I would.)

And your not dying thing, not ageing while I will have or did. Which ever it is or was. Time hasn't been so straight forward since joining TW. Obviously I'm writing this while I'm alive, but reading this I will be dead. My voice from beyond the grave as it were.

I do wish I could have had more than the measure of one life to love you.

He put the pages down and sipped his whiskey, barely registering Undine's presence as she picked out one of the pages of Ianto's neatly written missive.

Her voice soft in the darkness as she began reading. 'You made me realise so much of the goodness in this world. Reminded me of what we are saving. I know there were times I didn't see why we did what we did. Why we gave up so much and lost so many friends. Sometimes I think I'll always struggle with that. Except for when I was in your arms. Then it all made sense. The future was always going to be there. I just hope we saw it together. I wonder if you would stand over my grave and weep for me. I wont know if you did or not. Sometimes I imagine meeting you again in some other life. I can only hope if we do I recognise you. I think I would always recognise you Jack.'She put the page back in with the others and tucked them into the envelope, faded and worn with use as she put it back in Ianto's diary. 'It's very beautiful Jack.'

Jack swallowed the lump in his throat. He'd imagined a Welsh accent reading those words so many times, it didn't seem real now. None of this was, it couldn't be. Tears he thought he'd finished crying falling silently down his cheek as he turned to Undine. 'How do I get him back?'

She sighed softly as she climbed up on the sofa beside him and wrapped her arms around him, her head resting on his shoulder. 'Just be yourself Jack.'

'I can touch him but I don't have him, this is madness and I must be mad.'

She just closed her eyes and offered him what comfort she could. 'I never said it would be easy.'

'What, the course of true love never did run smooth or some such crap.'

'William Shakespeare was a very influential man.'

'You sound like him when you say that. Are you sure you aren't a girl version of Ianto from a different reality?' He listened to her laughter and sighed. 'Perhaps not.'

'I am not Ianto.'

He just pulled her under his arm and took comfort in her warmth. 'Just, tell me it all works out.'

She sighed. 'There are any infinite number of possibilities Jack. But it worked once so it can work again.'

'That will have to do I guess.'

Jack microwaved his dinner and tried to find something to do, when he'd been with Torchwood there had been the rift to monitor or paperwork to do. With Ianto they would have watched a movie or made love. Often both. He poured another whiskey and prayed for the pain to be dulled, the fire on the edge of his reality waiting to be extinguished. He needed to climb a building and watch the stars.

Undine found Jack standing on top of a building just watching the city.

'Jack?'

He turned towards her. 'I'd forgotten what it felt like to stand up here.'

She smiled. 'You always liked high places to watch the world.'

'I'm not going to jump you know.'

She laughed. 'It would hardly matter if you did, although it might hurt.'

'It always hurts when I die.'

'More than it hurts now?'

'Hardly, it passes.'

She smiled softly. 'Everything passes in time Jack.'

'That's one thing I have the most of and want the least.' He watched her sit down, dangling her feet of the edge of the roof. 'You aren't worried about falling off?'

She laughed softly as she looked up at him. 'Jack, I don't technically exist, the only thing that will damage me is to not be. And there's time enough for that.'

Jack sat beside her. 'Who are you?' He sighed as she shook her head. 'Okay I get it, you wont tell me. Fine, so what else is different around here?'

'Meaning?'

'Gwen and Rhys?'

'Married, they will still have Anwen.'

Jack frowned as her expression changed. 'What aren't you saying?

Undine looked away before looking back to Jack. 'Gwen is as faithful to Rhys in this reality as she was in yours.'

'Meaning she cheats on him.'

'Only this time she doesn't have retcon.'

'She what?' Jack shook his head. 'No. Not Gwen.'

Undine rolled her eyes. 'Oh give it up Jack, in your reality she confessed she slept with Owen and drugged Rhys so she could have a clear conscience and he wouldn't know. God only knows who else she fucked or will fuck.'

'Language young lady.'

'Jack, you're not exactly my father so you can't tell me off for that.'

'Doesn't matter, it's not ladylike.'

'Oh, Since when did you give a shit about ladylike? It doesn't change who she is. She's in the police of course, probably shagged Andy too before he joined Torchwood here.'

'I wondered about that.' He shook his head. 'Not the shagging. So it's Andy here and not Gwen.' Jack thought about something she had mentioned earlier. 'Wait a minute, earlier today, when Tosh and Owen got engaged, you said it wasn't me that stopped them getting together in my reality.'

She smiled indulgently. 'You catch up eventually don't you. If Gwen hadn't joined your Torchwood, Owen wouldn't have,' she paused. 'Shagged, her. The Mary alien would never have had an opening and Tosh and Owen would have gotten together.'

'Your laying all that at Gwen's feet?'

'Her vagina to be technical.'

'Really?'

Undine rolled her eyes. 'Really Jack, it's not like you to be such a prude. Your Captain Jack Harkness for gods sake. Not some catholic Welsh grandmother.'

Jack considered what she was saying. 'I'm not sure who I am any more.'

'Well I hope you figure it out.'

Ianto looked at his kitchen table and frowned, something was missing. He sighed softly, the last two evenings he'd had dinner with Jack. He was even more convinced in hindsight that the man had definitely been flirting with him. Almost as if he knew he was going to succeed. And it was so tempting to give in. But he barely knew the man, and he said the strangest things.

That he'd moved here but he suggested he'd lived here before, and it was a little creepy that his last lover was a Welshman named Ifan who looked good in red and suits and had blue eyes. That could almost be a description of himself. Maybe the man just had a type. Suit wearing, blue eyed Welshmen. It was quite a coincidence. And then there was the fact that he was straight and Jack clearly wasn't.

He sighed as he ate his dinner in silence. The silence didn't have the same quality as when he'd been with Jack. But he wasn't into men. Although there had been that one time in school when he'd kissed Billy Evens on a dare and hadn't totally hated it. Denied it of course. And he did think the new James Bond was rather sexy...

Ianto groaned as he shoved his dinner aside and dropped his head on the table. He couldn't be gay, he was attracted to women, only having had sex with women. So why did he find himself wondering when Jack would touch him again? What his lips might feel like on his skin? What it would feel like to be fucked by the man, or to fuck him. He wasn't gay, unless he was bi. Would that be so bad? He decided to wash his dishes and worry about it later.