I do not own these characters, they belong to the amazing Stephenie Meyer. Thanks to everyone for all the encouragement and wonderful reviews. Keep them coming!!

BPOV

I was still so tired, but I knew putting it off wouldn't help anybody. They were all staring at me waiting, and while I knew this chapter of my life was going to be hard for them to hear, it would be even harder for me to tell.

"I went to Italy on tour" I began hesitantly "I wanted to shoot some videos there. I remembered what Edward had said about the Italian coven, so I went looking for them. I was hoping they could tell me where you were. I did not intend on staying with them, but things became complicated…." I trailed off, not knowing how to continue. I looked around at the occupants in the room; everybody was looking back at me their expressions carefully blank, except for Edward. He was tense, and oh so still in his chair. His mouth was pressed into a grim line and his eyes were a smoldering black.

Alice came and sat on the arm of my chair and she smiled at me, silently conveying to me that everything would be okay.

I took a deep breath and continued "I guess word gets around quick, because I was approached one night in the city by two male vampires from the coven's guard, Demetri and Felix. I was brought to the castle and was presented to Aro, Marcus and Caius. Upon touching my hand Aro was stunned that he could not read my thoughts. He told me that this was a rare and powerful gift and asked me if I knew to what extent I could use it. I told him I was new to this life and alone and had not tried to develop my gift as I was unsure where to start, but for some reason I withheld the fact that I required sleep. I must have instinctively understood to not to show my one weakness to them. Aro quickly invited me to stay in the Volterra for however long I wanted and offered to work with me daily to further develop and learn how to control my gift."

I sighed then, not wanting to continue but knowing all the same I would. "I could not refuse, I wanted to know what I was capable of, and quite frankly I wanted to be with my own kind. I became Aro's little pet project. I was given an extravagant suite in the Volterra and was allowed to come and go as I pleased. Felix was assigned to watch over me during my sojourn as I did not speak Italian or know the city and surrounding forests well. He accompanied me everywhere, to my band practices outside of the city, to and from my lessons with Aro, when I went to hunt, and when I practiced in the Volterra's large music room. He never said much to me, but he was always there."

I stole a quick glance at Edward. He looked as though he wanted to break something. I stared at him pleading with my eyes for him to understand. He would not meet my gaze, so I turned to the others "One day coming back from a particularly taxing day of Aro's lessons, I collapsed. When I woke up, I was on my bed in my suite and Felix was standing with his back to me staring out of the window. He turned quickly when I woke, and I realized just how concerned he was. I was ashamed and embarrassed to have let myself weaken like that. Felix did not judge me, and I felt I owed him for not running straight to Aro, Marcus and Caius so I told him the truth, that I required sleep. Then I asked him why he had stayed with me. Felix surprised me then, he told me that when I collapsed, he immediately caught my scent…" I heard Edward hiss menacingly and I cringed but continued " and since I had never had a scent before, he told me he figured out that I normally could shield it but that I could not shield myself now and he did not want to leave me unguarded when I was like this. After that Felix came and guarded me every night while I slept. I tried to make him leave, but he would have none of it."

I stood up from my chair and began to pace knowing that telling this part would be the hardest "One night I was woken suddenly by Felix who was calling my name softly and holding my hands. He was sitting on the side of my bed looking down at me, his eyes unreadable. I had been dreaming, and crying out in my sleep. He told me what I had been saying and asked me to explain. He was so angry when I was done; he paced the room and told me he had to leave."

Edward grabbed my hand as I walked by him and his face was furious "What were you dreaming about?" he asked quietly, his eyes intense. I was getting angry now. What did he think I was dreaming about? Who did he think he was? I shifted my shield and I let him see my memory of him leaving me. He gasped, let go of my hand and paled.

I spun towards him "Be careful what you ask for dear Edward, you might just get it" I spit out.

Carlisle put a hand on my shoulder and shot Edward a warning look "Please continue your story Bella, no one is judging you" he smiled gently.

I looked up at him, my anger dying quickly and walked to the window. Looking out into the night so that I did not have to face them I took up my tale again "Marcus was beginning to notice the bond that Felix had formed with me and he told the others. Aro couldn't have been more pleased, but Caius was worried that if I left Felix would follow. They devised a plan that they thought would keep me with them. The Volturi were well aware of my feeding habits and had never brought it up. I, of course, knew they did not follow the same regime, but I never saw any evidence of it so kept my mouth closed on the subject. They thought that if I could be tempted to partake of human blood once, I would find it irresistible. They knew this was the biggest deterrent to me staying with them permanently. " I shuddered and tried to continue, but my voice broke and I had to collect myself.

"The day after Felix left my room, they called me to meet them in the tower. I thought it was just for another lesson and went willingly. When I arrived, I noticed the whole guard was there, including the wives. Before I could ask what was happening, a group of tourists was led into the room and the door was shut behind them. The place erupted in chaos when the bloodlust started. I backed into the stone wall and threw my hands over my ears and shut my eyes. I think I might have been screaming. Before I knew what was happening I felt his arms around me and my face was pressed against his chest. He had ignored his needs to get to me. He whispered in my ear that I could hold on, just a few more minutes, that I was strong. When it was over, he walked me out the door, ignoring the stares of everyone in the room." I heard Edward snarl behind me and I faltered now, knowing it was only going to get much worse.

"He took me from the city into the forest. He sat me down and confessed that he was in love with me. He told me that he would do anything to be with me, he would leave the Volturi and change his diet. He told me he did not care about my past, that my heart belonged to someone else. He begged me to give him a chance to make me happy and asked me to be his wife and he kissed me" I heard a smash from behind me at this confession, but I did not falter "I told him then that I loved him, but not the way he wanted me to. I could not be with him when my heart was absent; I was broken and would never be whole. He told me he did not care; he wanted me, it would be enough. I ran from him, unable to bear hurting him and returned to Volterra. He came to me again in the night begging me to reconsider. When he saw I would not be budged he gave me his pendant and asked me to wear it to remind me that he would always be there if I changed my mind. I left the next day. I have not seen him since" I finished softly and turned to meet their eyes.

Nobody said a word. I swayed on my feet, the fatigue hitting me again hard. I had not allowed myself enough rest. The shield slipped, and I did not care anymore. I let the memories fill my mind and I turned and walked out of the room, up the stairs and into my bed.