Characters belongs to Stephenie Meyer. This is just a fanmade story by me.
(This is Chapter 10, but from Bella's POV instead)
BELLA POV
When I woke up monday morning and got ready for school I was thinking about the latest events in my life. Edward was back and I wasn't sure how I felt about that. Sure, I'd missed him a whole lot, but now that he was back, and things were different, I was so confused. I'd chosen Jacob because I was sure of him. I couldn't bear being left like that again and I knew Jacob would never leave me. Edward on the other hand... I shook my head, trying to push those thoughts away. I didn't want to think about the time I'd been so depressed, about the time without Edward. Focus, Bella, I thought. You're with Jake now.. Jacob. I smiled as I thought about him. I really did love him, but it couldn't even begin to measure up to the way I'd loved Edward. Stop. I was with Jake now, and I owed him. He'd taken care of me when I'd needed to be taken cared of and so I would never dream of hurting him now.
As I walked out of the house I looked up at the sky, something I hadn't done in so long. It was completely gray, full of dark clouds that would surely burst later and drown the people in Forks. It was a sure sign that Edward, and Alice, would be at school today. My thoughts immediately went to Biology, the one class I had with Edward. What would I do? I didn't think he'd want to talk to me now, so to make it easier for him I decided I would ignore him. It would probably be for the best. I slipped into my old Chevy truck and as I turned the key in the ignition it roared to life. I drove carefully, the same thing as slowly, to school, knowing what dangers I could put myself in if I drove any faster. I wouldn't want to alarm Chief Swan even more now, would I? He was a bit unnerved by the fact that the Cullens were back. I knew he was worried that I'd go into that depression again, but still he was happy by the fact that Jake and I was still together and Edward was nowhere to be seen. I didn't always get Charlie. What was the difference between Edward and Jacob really? Except the fact that one was a vampire and the other a werewolf. They were still "humans" to me.
I pulled into the school's parking lot, scanning for one car in particular. It wasn't hard to find it as it stood out in the crowd. His silver Volvo was parked in its usual place and when I saw it my heart beat once irregularly. It'd been gone for so long, but now I could feel his presence here again. It was strange. It was comforting somehow, but yet it was like I wished for it to be gone. Like I wished he would leave. What if I told him to leave? Would he? And would I be able to handle that? I didn't have the answers to any of those questions.
I pondered over what he'd said that night he'd come back as I got out from my truck, locking it, and began walking up to the school. He'd said he loved me and that he was sorry for everything. To be honest I'd been thinking about it every now and then over the weekend, when I'd been with Jake down in La Push. He got a bit mad as I told him the latest news, that Edward was back, but when I told him that I loved him and that I chose him he was thrilled. He'd pulled me into another non-breathing hug and he'd kissed me again. It was actually quite nice, I'll admit. It was different from all the kissing I'd been doing the year before as Jake's lips were just as soft as my own and not rock solid like Edward's. I could pull him closer without having to fear of breaking any boundaries.
Edward's words were still haunting me as I hurried into the classroom, arriving just in time, and under the whole lesson. They were in my mind all the way up to lunchtime.
I walked behind Mike, Ben and Angela as we were on our way to the cafeteria. I briefly wondered if I'd see Edward and Alice at their table as I took a tray, grabbing something random to eat and then went to pay for whatever it was. I didn't really pay attention to their conversation as I was getting a bit nervous to see the familymembers of my former future. I felt horrible as I sat down next to Angela. I didn't dare to look over to their table. What if they looked back? I knew Alice would probably see it before it happened and Edward would know rightaway. So, I forced myself to not look at them. I could feel their presence though and I was pretty sure they could feel mine, too. After awhile of sitting there, all tensed up, and ignoring the urge to look over at them, I caught a movement in the corner of my eye. Edward. He was on his way to throw out his food, and then leaving the cafeteria. I dared a glance back at the Cullen's usual table and saw Alice there. All alone. I wanted to go over to my friend and talk to her, but I was unsure of how she felt about me now. Her head was bowed down and she looked both sad and worried. As I thought about going over to her, Mike called my name. "Bella..?" I turned to look at him, slightly unfocused. "Maybe we should get to class? Ben and Angela didn't want to be late so they've left already.." I looked around and noticed that practically the whole cafeteria was empty now. "Oh," Was my brilliant answer. He just smiled one of those annoyingly understanding smiles, shaking his head a little bit. "I guess I don't blame you for your distraction.." He was looking towards the doors, which Edward had walked through just awhile ago. "I heard about.. that.." He said after a few seconds had passed. I felt a bit irritated at that. Stupid small town people, gossiping about things that they don't have anything to do with. He looked oddly thoughtful though as he turned to look at me. "Well, how are things?" I knew what he meant rightaway. "I don't know actually. I haven't talked to him or anyone from his family since then." I glanced back at the Cullen's table again and I was slightly surprised when I saw it was empty. Alice was gone, and somehow, the sight of that was hurtful. "Hm.." He muttered, and as I didn't feel like talking about this with Mike, who I already had a pretty complicated relationship with, I changed the subject. "So, what were you up to this weekend?" I asked as we threw our food out and headed back to our lockers, to get our Biology books. "I was in Seattle actually. Me and Ben went to this newly opened carnival thing. It was awesome!" He began rambling on and on about different rides and as I felt bad for my behaviour earlier; being completely off, I tried to be interested.
"Well.. we got to do that sometime. It'll be fun!" I said, sitting down at my table - ignoring the person next to me - awhile after he'd mentioned going there soon, again, with a group. He smiled and I smiled back at him. "Definitely!" After that, Mr Banner, our Biology teacher, came into the room and Mike went over to his own table.
I felt rather nervous as he was so close, so I tried to find a more comfortable way to sit. His chair wasn't turned the other way like it'd been last year when he was trying to ignore me. I wondered why it was closer to my own for awhile. The thing that got my attention then was Mr Banner, calling my name unexpectedly. "Bella, do you know the answer or not?" I had no idea what he'd just asked me. I turned a bit pink as I noticed several of my classmates turning around in their seats to look at me. "Sorry, I have no idea." I couldn't concentrate on Biology now because I could tell Edward was watching my every movement. It made me kind of nervous because I didn't like people watching me. And exactly why was he watching me anyway? I had no idea. All I knew was that it was very annoying. I wanted him to look away.
As the lesson ended and people were getting out of their seats, I glanced once at him, thinking maybe he'd feel self-conscious or something if I did so. He, of course, looked back at me and he didn't look self-conscious at all. He looked tortured. It hurt to see that, but at the same time I was sort of happy to see him again. Anger didn't colour his pale face. Just agony. I didn't like that because he shouldn't be in agony. And really, what was the cause of his agony? Could it be me? No, it couldn't be me. That's what I told myself anyway. Maybe something had happened in his family? Maybe something was up with Jasper? That would of course explain why Alice had looked so glum before, too. Yeah, it had to be Jasper or at least someone in his family. Now I knew why he was sad, but it still didn't explain why he kept watching me. Then, as I began collecting my things, something happened that I hadn't been counting on. "Bella?" His velvet voice said, sounding sad but also like it was a caress. I didn't know what to thikn of that. "Yes?" I asked warily, not wanting to look up at him. What if he dazzled me again? No. No, he couldn't. And he wouldn't. If he did then I was 100 sure of what could happen if I didn't think, and I knew I had some problems with focusing around him before, and I wouldn't want to hurt Jacob again. I loved him. He was my boyfriend now. I sort of liked that. It sounded normal and sometimes I seriously just wanted to be normal. Just a normal teenager with normal teenage problems. I could be normal, more or less, with Jacob. I really liked that.
"I have to ask you something.." He told me and that got me even more nervous. What in the world did he want to know? I just hoped I could answer him without causing him any distress, as whatever the problem he already had was clearly making him depressed. He didn't need more pain. I raised an eyebrow as I asked him, "What?" "Are you happy?" The question caught me off guard. Another thing I hadn't been expecting. He waited for me to answer, but I wasn't sure what the answer to that was. Was I happy? I felt confused, and torn. That wasn't exactly happy feelings. As I seriously didn't want to cause him any trouble or anything, I just said, "Yes." I turned away immediately as I knew I was a bad liar. He'd see right through me if I didn't flee right this minute. Now he thought I was happy, and so maybe it would ease his pain just a little bit. I sure hoped so.
EDWARD POV
As I walked out of the classroom I was in a complete daze. Even with enhanced eyesight I could barely see where I was walking. She was happy. She didn't love me anymore. I knew that now. Our time apart had only made me realize that I loved her even more. It had been the opposite for her. She had gotten over me. My frozen heart began to ache again. I wanted to rip my chest open and crush my heart into small pieces because I couldn't stand this. Without her by my side, I had nothing to live for. My life was useless without her. It had no longer any point.
I ended up walking around the school aimlessly. I had nowhere to go. Well, I had class, but I could care less about going now. After awhile, an whole hour apparently, I began hearing many voices approaching at the same time. School was over. I was now walking towards the parking lot, not really paying attention. There were already a lot of students there, smiling and laughing together like they didn't have any problems at all. It sort of angered me, but that feeling disappeared rather quickly as I heard a low rumbling engine closing in. A motorcycle.
I looked up at the rider and recognized him. Jacob Black. Anger started pulsing through me and I had a sudden urge to go over there and kill him. I was even about to, but that was when she came. I stopped dead in my tracks as I saw Bella coming out of the building, looking up, spotting him and then a huge smile appearing on her face. That smile would've been my death for certain if I would've still been human. My life ended as I saw what came next. Her pace picked up and she was at his side in an instant. He got off his bike, hugging her, and then he kissed her. As I saw that I got flashbacks of one sunny day about a year ago. My meadow.. Bella almost fainting after I'd taken her for a run.. me kissing her for the first time..
Half of all the students in the parking lot's eyes moved in an instant from the 'happy couple' to me. I closed my eyes as my life was officially over. I'd died, again.
Please, please, please!! READ & REVIEW!! And I'm sorry because this might be the last of this story for a few days. This story's really demanding and I think I need a break. I'm not sure yet though! I'll let you know what I decide on my profile, so check back there for updates!!
Hope you liked this by the way!!