Shallow Pleasure || Chapter Eleven

"If it means something, take it to heart…"

…

"You've been up all morning." She said worriedly. "Aren't you still tired?" Maya asked, although, Josh didn't respond. Instead, sitting on the couch with his feet planted to the floor, and a broad expression on his face as he absently gazed at the carpet of Maya's living room. His elbows were stationed on the top of his knees as he leaned forward, and his eyes never daring to glance anywhere else. The randomly suspicious message he received last night most troubling for him, and Josh couldn't think of anything other than his once beloved girlfriend. Not until the fire did he truly begin to understand her capabilities, and Josh didn't want Maya or himself anywhere near it.

He could hear the blonde's footsteps as she strolled closer to him, a plate in one hand and a cup in the other. Maya carefully placed it down in front of him upon the coffee table, and seeing as Josh briefly averted his stare to examine the presentation. Waffles drenched in blueberry syrup with a display of strawberries, fluffy scrambled eggs, and three strips of bacon with a glass of orange juice.

The tasteful aroma wafting from the explicit breakfast casually filled his nostrils with pleasantry.

Josh finally looked up, and his eyes immediately locking with Maya's. A modest grin danced along her lips, while her eyes seemed to shimmer with hopefulness. Despite her efforts, she didn't have the willpower to stay up and comfort Josh the rest of the wee hours, and him encouraging her to fall aback asleep hadn't been helpful either. Albeit, Maya more than a little concerned once reawakening to notice Josh still in the same stiff position he'd been in last night. She wanted to make him feel better any way she could even if that meant taking a day off from work to be with him.

She sat down beside him on the couch, and closely watching the profile of his face, Maya's patience ultimately growing wary as she waited for Josh to try her cooking.

Afterwards, he glanced at her, and he couldn't help but chuckle. Her eagerness was admirable. "All this time I thought you were cooking something for yourself."

"I know you have to be starving, Josh. And it's not good to go without sleep and without eating. Please?" Maya pleaded, and the smile on Josh's face quickly faded. It wasn't as though he didn't want to eat, but how could he when Holland could literally strike at any moment?

Evidently, being paranoid was an understatement.

Maya scooted closer to the edge of the couch, sliding the plate in between them, and using the fork and knife to cut Josh a piece from the waffles. She then held the fork upright, her countenance full of determination. "I'm not kidding. I'll feed you myself if I have to."

"Might not be such a bad idea," Josh replied slyly with a wink, and Maya hastily beginning to blush—her cheeks crimson, despite attempting to be serious.

Josh parted his lips, allowing Maya to do the rest. He smiled with his mouth opened as she rolled her eyes, and keeping still as the fork slowly moved closer to his tongue, tasting all waffle and a hint of blueberry.

He chewed slowly, capturing the sweetness upon his taste buds. Soon he smiled. "Might be time for me to get down on one knee," Josh teased. "I'm gonna need a wife with cooking like yours."

"Josh."

"I'm serious." He laughed, and plucking off a strawberry from the top of the waffle stack. Josh stuck it in between his teeth, grinning. "Can I get that morning kiss now?" He murmured, not even giving Maya a chance to retort.

Josh softly captured her chin amid his thumb and finger, pulling her close. Maya bashfully bit the corner of her lip, trying not to smile, but failing miserably. She bit the other half of the small red fruit, and feeling Josh's lips interlace with hers.

The kiss itself initially starting off calm and passionate, but immediately escalating in a matter of seconds the moment he pushed her backwards. Josh's body hovered over Maya as he continued to kiss her, and breathing increasing to a precarious pace.

His heart had been feeling so many emotions—too many to control individually, and Maya had merely been his escape.

Desperate to have his mind think of anything other than Holland, the girl he feared more than anyone, Josh would kiss and throw himself at Maya if it's all it would take to alter their situation. My was quickly turning into our, and Josh refused to let it continue as such. He'd be willing to sacrifice everything that him and Maya have built since encountering one another again if that meant keeping the blonde out of harm's way.

Only recently has Josh finally come to the realization of just how much Maya means to him, and that his love for her is like no other kind he's experienced for anybody else before.

Laurel then suddenly came to mind.

Her words to him had his guilt rising quicker than a near erupting volcano, and there'd been no one else around that could possibly understand. Not even Hayes, especially with him disappearing without the slightest hint of his whereabouts. Josh worried about him everyday, but believed Hayes wouldn't purposely get himself into something he couldn't handle.

He'd come back eventually, and all Josh could proceed to do, is wait.

Josh could then sense himself becoming disoriented, lost at the sound of Maya's moans, and although he wanted to, refraining from using the moment to take advantage of his despair. He gently pulled his lips back away from hers, and clenching his jaw, while turning his gaze to the floor. Josh could blatantly feel his girlfriend's curious, lingering stare, but deliberately opting to ignore it.

He held himself up by his arms, distracted by Maya's voice. She softly tugged at the hem of his shirt. "I know what you're thinking, but she's not going to hurt you." Maya whispered, but Josh didn't speak, doubting her assurance. "I know she won't."

"How can you be so sure…" Josh mumbled, nearly incoherent. He didn't have as much confidence, considering Holland's already tried to kill him once before, and she didn't mind harming innocent people in the process.

Josh would never forgive himself if something were to happen to Maya, too.

She then grabbed ahold of his jaw, and forcibly turning his head, so he would look at her. "I just do, Josh." Maya said, although, by the look in his eyes, she could easily decipher that Josh didn't trust her judgement. She nervously pursed her lips together, skeptical. "And to tell you the truth, I honestly don't think she was ever going to hurt you," Maya admitted, and Josh's eyes widened.

He furrowed his brows questionably. "What?"

"I'm serious, Josh. Holland. She loves you, so I don't think she was ever going to really kill you." Maya elaborated, but still Josh didn't understand. It almost felt as though Maya had been encouraging him to give Holland another chance.

He sat himself back up properly again, and shook his head reluctantly. "Maya." Josh snorted with a scoff. "You don't get it. You couldn't possibly get it."

"Get what exactly?" Maya said rhetorically. "That there's a girl out there who's feelings for you are just as strong as mine are if not more?" She argued, and Josh rolled his eyes.

He carelessly huffed. "You made her retaliate, Josh. She might've been clingy, but it's only because she loved you just that much. She couldn't stand another girl having most of your attention or making you laugh or who you maybe thought of more when you should've been thinking of her. I'm not saying I agree with how she executed things because I don't, but I do understand her motives." Maya said, her piercing stare penetrating as Josh glared at her from the corner of his eye.

Maya had been defending someone she hadn't even met before, and Josh wasn't going to listen to the nonsense any longer. He knew Holland more than Maya, so her opinion and views didn't mean anything to him.

Josh then stood up from the couch, walking away. "Josh!"

"I don't want to hear it, Maya." Josh replied nonchalantly, and sauntering down the hallway to the bathroom. He could hear Maya's voice in the distance as she continued to argue, but merely disregarding any more she had to say on the matter.

In all honesty, she'd only been making him feel worse regarding the predicament.

It was evident Maya had been referencing to herself the entire time, and Josh didn't appreciate the subtle attack.

He walked into the bathroom, and closed the door behind him. Josh stared at himself in the brutally broken mirror as he leaned against the counter, and the bags under his eyes appeared darkened and heavy. His body felt weak considering his empty stomach and lack of rest, and his head dizzy as he could barely stand up straight. Josh didn't mean to come off harsh, but anytime Holland was apart of a conversation, Josh couldn't help but to get upset. He travelled all the way to another country just to leave his unfortunate life behind, and now had proof that his rash decision to become a runaway was quickly starting to backfire. Albeit, Josh could slowly sense himself with the urge to break the already broken mirror even more.

Nevertheless, time casually going by as he's been locked inside of the bathroom for over twenty minutes now, and sitting along the toilet with the seat down, and his head in his hands—a raging headache starting to formulate.

A gentle knock then quietly resonating from the other side of the door. Josh lifted his head, staring blankly across from him, but still he didn't budge. Josh didn't need to ask to know, whom it had been standing outside, but still he didn't feel like being bothered. He subsequently leaned himself back, and plainly listening as the knocking continued. However, the gesture eventually starting to get harder, and a familiar voice soon emanating through his ears. Josh widened his eyes, and watching as the door began to open, despite being locked.

He stiffly swallowed, speechless as she materialized in the doorway. She stood with a tense expression on her face, and arms crossed over her chest. Josh stared at his niece, while in a complete loss for words, and momentarily examining the rest of her appearance: sweatpants, sneakers, and brunette hair tied up into a messy bun. She wore a T-shirt with a cat on it, and her skin appeared pale as if she hadn't properly freshened herself up yet.

Josh reluctantly rose to his feet, eyebrows furrowed as he didn't understand Riley's sudden appearance. When did she arrive to London, and why was she here at all? "Long time no see, Uncle Josh." Riley greeted, though her tone remaining monotone.

Josh gradually took a step closer, still not entirely convinced of his eyes not deceiving him. Riley then smiled, and opening her arms wide for a hug. Josh met her halfway, engulfing her in his embrace as the two held each other close. He rested his chin on top of her hair, and softly stroking a hand along her back until the minute of mutually backing away from one another. Josh proceeded to stare, suspicious, and noticing as Riley's temporary grin quickly faltered. He anxiously scratched the back of his neck.

"I had still been asleep, you know." She said. "But there isn't anything I wouldn't do for her." Riley implied, and Josh gazed at her quizzically.

His eyes later catching glimpse of Maya as she stood in the hallway in front of the open bathroom door. He soon arched an eyebrow. "How'd you even get in here? I had the door locked."

"All doors come with a key to unlock them, Josh." Riley said with a smirk, although, Maya remained emotionless. Evidently, she had called Riley for support against Josh and his stubbornness, and his unwillingness to cooperate merely had her on edge.

If anyone could talk some sense into him, however, it was his niece as Riley would gladly help the blonde out when she needed it most no matter how short of notice. "We're worried about you, Josh." Riley said delicately.

Josh rolled his eyes. He didn't even know Riley was around, therefore the last thing he wanted to waste time talking to her about was his issue with Holland, which she had no clue about considering he didn't tell anyone other than Maya. He groaned. "It's fine, Riley."

"You're not convincing anybody, Josh." Riley argued, and seeing as Josh perversely averted his eyes away.

He's family, so of course she cared about him, especially now with him and Maya being together. She didn't know specifically what had been troubling him since Maya didn't confess anything. Regardless, still just as determined to help.

Josh wasn't prone to ever voluntarily talking about his feelings. It ultimately being one his weaknesses. Regardless, Riley eventually discovering a work around within the course of her and Josh knowing one another. She then thought to mention Holland, and hoping to get the reaction she was looking for. "Maya mentioned you were upset about something."

Josh briefly looked at Maya, and then back at Riley. He shrugged. "I told you it's nothing."

"If that's true, then you shouldn't mind talking about it, right?" Riley asked, and clearly seeing the disdain in Josh's eyes.

It was obvious he had been feeling uncomfortable, and the conversation not helping to resolve his pent up anger and frustration. Riley then slowly reached for his hand. "Josh, please—"

Josh hurriedly snatched his arm back. "I said, no Riley! Why are you even here? What do you want?" He exclaimed, and Maya flinched. Elsewhere, Riley never winced or cowered, despite the sudden rise in volume of Josh's voice.

She gazed at Josh tensely, studying his stature. Taut shoulders, escalated breathing, and an unrelenting stare. Riley had recognized the behavior all too well, and there was no talking any sense into Josh, while he'd been this enraged.

He didn't want to talk about Holland nor did he want to think about her, and he refused to fathom the thought of ever forgiving her, or hearing her side of the story. His life was once again on the line, and now Maya's and Riley's were too the longer they were near him.

Afterwards, Josh immediately froze, his eyes wide and mouth ajar as he then thought about Hayes.

What if Holland had already gotten to him? Josh didn't want to consider it, but the possibility hadn't been excusable, at least not yet.

Disgruntled, Josh angrily raked a hand through his hair, his long fingers tangling within the strands. He calmly shoved Riley out of his way, and maneuvering pass Maya without so much as a glance in her direction. She hastily trailed behind him down the hallway, and into her bedroom.

Maya repeatedly stated his name, but still had he acted as though she weren't even there.

Josh shoved himself into a pair a jeans—not necessarily clean, placed on a shirt, and threw on a pair of sneakers prior to swiftly exiting the bedroom, en route for the front door. He grabbed his phone off of the coffee table, and reaching for the doorknob just as a tug came to his arm. Ignoring both Riley's and Maya's desperate pleas for him stop, Josh avoided the chance to listen.

Maya tightly held onto his arm, tears threatening to fall, but blinking several times to restrain them from doing so. She yelled, but despite Josh standing still, he didn't glance back at her at all. "What's the matter with you?" She bellowed with Riley standing close behind her, wondering the same. "I already told you nobody is going to hurt you!"

"Josh, whatever you're thinking of doing—don't." Riley intervened, but still Josh remained silent.

At this point, their warnings didn't mean anything. His best friend is missing, and Holland had more than likely been the culprit. He wouldn't dare waste another day without finding the truth, and two oblivious girls were not going to tell him otherwise.

"I swear, Josh if you do something stupid—" Maya said, her threat subsiding as Josh forcibly released himself out of her grip. She tried to grab hold of him again, but he had already been out the door.

Maya chased him down the hallway, shouting his name, but instantly halting as he turned around to face her, his jaw clenched and chest broad. "Go back." Josh demanded, his voice low and daunting.

Maya looked at him breathlessly. "What are you going to do?"

"Don't worry about it."

"Josh!"

"Can you just trust me, Maya?" Josh exclaimed. "Just this once! You think you can do that?"

"How can I trust you when you damn near got smoke coming out of your ears!" Maya said rhetorically. "It's not like you've ever given me a reason to trust you before…" She whispered, averting her gaze.

Josh's hostility then gradually beginning to boil down. He was tired of feeling paranoid, and hiding in the dark. If Holland wanted to play games, then he would gladly participate. Whatever to have things back to the way they once were.

He gently cupped his hands around Maya's cheeks, and lifting her head, so their eyes would meet. He then leaned his forehead onto hers. "I'm sorry," Josh murmured. "I just have to do this, and I have to do it alone. Okay?"

"Do what, Josh?" Maya retorted, frustrated.

Josh quietly looked at her, while pursing his lips. He sighed. "I'm not as convinced as you that Holland still isn't seeking revenge against me, and the last thing I want is for her to ruin what we have. If she hurts you in any way, it'll be my fault, and I'm not going to let that happen. I love you, Maya, where we are, and what we have going for us. If I just standby, and let her play all of her tricks and mind games, then I'll never stop living in fear of what might happen next. I need to do this, and I need you to trust me. I promise things will be normal again soon." Josh said, his eyes intensely staring into Maya's for any hint of security or hopefulness. Soon rapidly kissing her lips just as she attempted to speak.

Josh didn't want to hear her protests, or even listen to her give permission, considering he didn't need it. Instead, simply ready to give Holland exactly what she wanted—vengeance. Josh was more than prepared to move on with his life, especially with Maya in the picture, but he couldn't as long as there was somebody toxic around to interfere.

He deepened his kiss with Maya, wishing it didn't have to end, but he didn't want to keep Holland waiting any longer. And by Holland, he meant Hayes.

Josh continued the kiss for a few more seconds before finally parting his lips away, and nearly caving under the scrutiny of Maya's precious blue orbs staring as if she'd never see him again. Josh pulled her into his chest, hugging her just as he hugged Riley moments before, except tighter.

It felt as though he were leaving his queen to go slay a dragon, and praying he'd make it back victorious.

His eyes then soon caught sight of Riley as she stood just a few feet behind the couple with a grin on her face, and Fawn curiously standing right beside her foot.

Josh backed away slowly, and kissing Maya one final time on her forehead. "I'll be back." He assured, although, she didn't reply.

Josh stepped back away from her, and proceeding on with his trek out of the building. Once reaching the lobby, walking outside to spot one face he dreaded to be seeing this early in the morning, or at all for that matter.

Josh casually stuffed his hands into his pockets. "So, is this a thing now?" He said. "You wait until you know Maya's alone, and then try your luck with her again while I'm gone?"

Roland chuckled modestly, while leaning against his shiny, expensive blue sedan. "Not everything is about you."

"Then what's up? Why are you here because I know Maya didn't call you."

"And what if she had?" Roland said with a taunting smirk.

Josh didn't respond. Instead, bitterly grinding his teeth. "Whatever. I don't have time for you right now." He said after several seconds of silence.

"Likewise. Do you really think I would be out here waiting for you this early in the morning just to continue our pointless banter?" Roland grunted, and Josh cocked an eyebrow. "I have a message to deliver to you."

"You do?"

"Apparently." Roland replied, irritated. "I was basically blackmailed into this, so hopefully you understand what all of this is about because I sure as hell don't."

"What are you even talking about?"

"I'm a very successful person, Josh." Not that successful. "and I've worked real hard to get where I am now with my art. The thousands of dollars I have saved are well earned, and I be damn if I have to go back to square one because you apparently don't know how to clean up your scraps." Roland said, referencing to a certain ex of Josh's.

"What do you—"

"Some chick somehow managed to hack into my bank account, and has wiped it completely clean! There's not a single coin left, and the only thing I have to go on is a letter claiming you know what to do to help me get it all back!" Roland shouted, and Josh looked at him perplexed.

"Wait, what? What letter?" He asked, and watching as Roland removed a folded piece of paper out of his pocket. He handed it over, allowing Josh to examine it.

He quickly skimmed the words written along the page, and momentarily raising his head to glare back at Roland. "Where did you get this?"

"Is this a fucking joke because I'm not laughing! Did you get someone to take all of my money as a warning or something to leave you and Maya alone?"

"I have to admit, that would've been a good idea," Josh teased, grinning. "but I wouldn't ever go this far. Sadly."

"Stop playing with me, Josh! Just get me my damn money back, and tell whoever this chick is to keep me out of whatever you two got going on!"

"Can you calm down,"

"All of my hard earned money is missing, Josh! What person in their right mind would be calm right now!" Roland hollered. Meanwhile, Josh carelessly shredded the note to pieces. Holland had apparently struck again being three moves ahead of him, and imaging her maniacal laughter regarding the situation.

Josh huffed. "Alright, so let me get this straight— you're supposed to drive me to some barren location to meet the person responsible for the letter, right? Guess we better get this over with then." Josh groaned, ready to come face to face with Holland once and for all.

Roland scoffed. "I'm assuming you do know how to handle this then." He said. "And believe me, I'm not looking forward to this road trip, either." Roland spat, and getting into the driver's seat, while Josh got into the seat beside him.

The car boisterously roared to life as Roland revved the engine, and soon glancing at Josh questioningly. "Does Maya know what we're about to get ourselves into?" He said hesitantly. "I don't really know what to expect, but we might not make it back alive for all I know. Whoever this person is, they seem crazy."

"Nope." Josh said nonchalantly, answering Roland's question, and disregarding his mellow-dramatics. He kept his eyes straight ahead as he stared out of the front windshield. "Let's keep it that way."

PLEASE REVIEW » It only takes a minute to give a little feedback. I apologize for the unintentional hiatus as I've been very busy with work and truthfully unmotivated to write. I've also been trying to think of a new story idea that wouldn't be a fanfiction for Girl Meets World, but a normal fiction instead.

There's been at least one person for almost every GMW story that I've written and posted stating that the characters are OOC (out of character), which I'm sure is maybe a slight pet peeve for some if not most of you. However, that's only because I obviously take these fanfictions to an entirely different level considering I'm aspiring to become an editor and maybe even an author someday. Therefore, I try to create story plots that most of you have maybe never read before within the fandom. I want the ideas to at least be interesting if not original, and when I'm thinking of an AU for my stories, I usually tend to alter the characters' personalities to fit more to the plot.

Nevertheless, I might just stop GMW fanfictions altogether after completing the ones I'm currently writing, and focus on regular fiction instead since I really can't imagine myself trying to write the characters as close to their personalities within in the show with the plots that I like to come up with. Regardless, onto the chapter now.

Recap of Chapter:

1. Josh is paranoid for him and Maya's safety

2. Riley comes in attempts to calm Josh's nerves

3. Josh finally decides to confront Holland, and hopefully save Hayes

4. Roland is being blackmailed, who Josh believed is by Holland, and travels with him to resolve the issue of his empty bank account

Overall, what did most of you think? I haven't written in a while, so I hope the chapter wasn't confusing or lackluster than normally. I also got recent feedback a while ago on my blog from someone stating that they think Josh was being abusive when he sneaked into Maya's apartment back in chapter three I believe, and the comment really bothered me, considering my intentions were never to make Josh appear abusive in any way. I felt as though the word had been thrown around incorrectly as it's a strong word that honestly makes me cringe. I know some of you thought the scene was funny and comedic, but I guess some of you maybe thought otherwise, and I apologize to anyone, who might've gotten that impression. I don't understand how Josh could've been considered "abusive" in that moment, but it truly wasn't my plan to have it that way.

Also, I have a feeling I'm going to be ending this story soon in the next few chapters since Holland's part is finally going to be coming up, so get ready guys. Josh has been the main focal character within this story, his problem being with an old relationship that ended on horrible terms as well as his situation with Maya, and eventually fearing for his life and anyone else around him. He's been believing that Holland won't stop until she gets any sort of satisfaction, and doesn't care who's in her way. After this chapter, though Josh is starting to grow and back away from the paranoia that started at the beginning of the story. He's also working alongside his "enemy" Roland, so with the two of them being stuck in a car and confronting the blackmailer together, anything can happen.

Thanks to any readers, and a special thanks to the people, who have been reading and reviewing on nearly if not every chapter. You guys are awesome! I've been enjoying writing this story, but I think a break is necessary for any writer now and again. Hopefully there will be no more hiatuses, but if so, just know it's because I'm exhausted from work.

And for anyone maybe not already reading, I have another Joshaya story called Written in the Scars, and I might be updating that next.

Until next chapter, :)