RE-EDITED to be more visually appealing!
Wow.
You guys are like seriously amazing. No lie.
If you haven't noticed already, I'm a feedback-whore, so usually any kind of response is greatly appreciated (like really really appreciated, so by all means, review away!...please), but still - wow.
I'm pretty sure I almost teared up (read: cried like a baby...'slight' exaggeration) reading some of the things you guys said...
So, really, thank you to everyone. (especially Sakagami Rose)
And as a thank you, I'm going to stop embarrassing myself and get on with it!
Disclaimer: I own NOOOTTTHHHIINNNGGGG...FUCKINGSADFACE!
Because no pain in all the world could compare to this. His heart had taken all the breaks it could bear, and now? It crumpled, leaving him with nothing but an empty hole in his chest. Death would be a luxury.
Chapter 10: Day 21
The floor is shifting beneath him, swinging violently from side to side like the rocking of a boat in the midst of an angry hurricane. The walls aren't much better, only they're moving more quickly. Ants on a picnic basket - tiny bodies trembling, shaking, and overlapping to form all kinds of odd, jerking patterns. It makes his skin crawl, and his head spin, and soon the walls and ceiling and floors are following and tilting back and forth as if he's watching a poorly-shot video.
It's like he's not himself - someone else is, and he's just a useless spectator watching his dizzy figure stumble its way down the hallways, bouncing off walls and falling to its knees a few times. And he's seeing it happen, and he knows this time is worse than the others - that Kaname hadn't just taken too much. He'd taken it all, or at least close to it. And all he can do is see and know and fuck, this powerless feeling is far worse than any of the rest of it.
He trips for the last time, too weak to summon the strength to stand - his legs unsupported by wobbling knees, and just lets his face hit the linoleum floor with a clamorous smack, ignoring the pain that ebbs its way into the front of his mind and shoving it as far back as he can.
In this state, he finds it's actually kind of nice. The world is no longer spiraling into a blurred picture and the cool floor is actually quite soothing to his overheated skin.
In this state, he thinks he could fall asleep - close his eyes to the cruel reality and never have to open them to it again.
In this state, he could just give up, and surprisingly, he's not the least bit bothered by this notion.
"Senri-kun?"
But then again, when had Shiki ever gotten his way?
He's in a room, only, it's nothing like the one he had fallen asleep to. This one is disconsolate - dingy tiles covering the walls, each smeared with a grimy mixture of brown and red. The scent of staleness is heavy in the air, along with the puncturing fragrance of iron rust, and Zero finds that regardless of the depth of the breaths he takes, his lungs still clench and groan in discomfort from the lack of fresh oxygen.
Below his feet, illuminated by the dim, flickering lights overhead, is a trail of dark crimson, leading all the way to the very right corner of the dreary room, seemingly neverending because it does not fade, but simply merges into the pitch black painted there.
Then, there's a noise, soft like the tingling of a bell or the fluttering of a butterfly's wings and somewhere deep down inside himself, Zero just knows it's coming from the colorless corner.
His foot moves, a twitch nearly, and he's moving towards it. Towards the sinisterly light sound, and he has absolutely no idea why. He's shifting forwards, off-balanced and precariously planted on the tip of his toe, and swings his other foot out in front to catch himself. He repeats the action with the opposite foot this time, and then another with the other, and then the other. And he's getting closer and closer, his shoes making tiny splashes in the red puddles, dripping the bright color in places where the floor is bare.
The sound stops, and the room is filled with the screaming silence.
And so does he - hesitating on the last step, peering down into the darkness, looking for it - looking for something, but the attempt achieves little.
With a gulping kind of swallow, he reaches his hand out gingerly, watching in absolute fright as it too disappears in the velvety blackness that climbs up to his slightly bent elbow. He feels nothing but cool, damp air nipping at the tiny hairs stretching across his forearm. He feels -
A hand, cold and clammy, small like a child's, grasps tightly around his wrist, and a face arises from the oblivion, with familiar maroon eyes and chocolate curls. Tiny pink lips open, exposing sharp, pointed fangs, and the sound begins again, only this time, it's no longer a soft whisper.
It's an anguished wail.
With a start, Zero grabs the wrist of the chilled hand encircling his, and pulls, but it's to no avail - he's caught in an iron grip. He removes his palm and glances down and -
Blood. All of it. Everywhere. It's covering the hand, drenching the face, matting in its hair. It's fucking everywhere.
"Kiryuu-kun?"
Zero's out of the paper mattress in a flash, and his elbows and forehead hit the wall in front of his bed. He's shaking violently and looking down. Kyo, eyes wide and trembling, stares up, pressed harshly into the wall by his heaving chest. Her eyes go even wider when he opens his mouth and bares his fangs.
"Kiryuu-kun," she pleads. "Don't."
And he wants to listen, he really does, but everytime he tries to move away, the frigid, bloody hand returns, and the agonizing sobs echo in his ears.
He leans in, tongue flicking out an licking a trail down pale flesh. If he closes his eyes tight enough, he can almost pretend -
"Don't," but it's hidden behind something else. A savage, deep and rumbling command that rings loudly in his ears, almost like it's coming from them, and fills the open space that his fleeing sanity had previously occupied.
Bite her, his burning throat snarls.
He snaps back in surprise and stumbles backwards on his heels until they're grazing the opposite wall.
Do it.
Shaking his head vehemently in disobedience, lilac irises flickering around wildly, he inspects every corner of the room for the source of the gritty order.
There is none.
Now.
"No," he argues, continuing to shake his head, only now it's with ten times more force, "No, no, no, no - I won't. I can't."
The horrified expression on Kyo's face tells him that she has absolutely no idea what's happening.
He's not really sure he does either.
And then she's gone, racing through the cracked door, nicking it with the side of her elbow, and he's left alone with the memory of the red, icy touch and the haunting sound of sobs.
But the worse part is that now he has proof of just how bad things have gotten - just how strong his aching hunger had become.
It was fucking talking to him.
He's pretty certain that wasn't a good sign.
Oh and not only that, but that he tried to kill his nurse, and he faintly recalls that being 'taboo'...
But he could just be remembering wrong.
Now, Shiki wasn't entirely sure where and when he'd faded. So it came as no surprise to him that when he'd finally escaped the heavy sleep that had chained him to unconsciousness, he'd be somewhere else - and would have absolutely no idea where that somewhere else is. Far from the spinning hallway and ant-covered floor. He was, however, surprised by the clean, fresh and girly smell of the place, something he was most certainly not used to. It reminded of some kind of frilly flower.
Another thing that bewildered him was the obnoxious beeping sound that was constantly ringing in his ear. It was the fly that he couldn't quite see, but knew it was there because every couple of seconds, it would buzz around in his ear like it was asking to get squished. He tries briefly to ignore the discomfort, but then a irritating itch in his right arm becomes too much to bear, and he can no longer take it.
With a sudden urge of the need to move and kick and scream - to do anything besides just lie there uncomfortably - he unlocks his eyelids and grabs for his right wrist, gripping the strange tube that's been causing him distress, and rips it off his arm like it's a disgusting leech. The action hurts, he realizes, and there's a sharp sting in the spot where the tube use to be, but now he's too far gone. But gone into what? A panic attack, maybe - he's not sure. All he knows is that he has to make the damn beeping stop, as well as the newcoming itches he feels on his forehead, under his nose, on his chest - they're everywhere.
He wiggles around like what he supposes a crazy person would, tugging at all the tubes ferociously until he's sure that everything is gone. It works for a second, and for that second, he can relax, but then the beeping picks up again, this time not beep after beep but just one constant one that, though he would think it's impossible, is even more annoying and loud.
It's then he notices that the place is actually a room, a tiny one at that, and is nothing but complex-looking equipment and white walls. It's something he's seen before, but he can't exactly place the image...
It's the infirmary.
His eyes widen in shock, and had he still been hooked up to the still beeping machine, it would have picked up the quickened pounding in his chest. As ridiculously cliche as it sounds, he had no recollection of why he was in a hospital, though he assumes the aching in his head and neck may be able to give him a few hints. Or the nurse - that races into the room in a frenzy, frazzled by the long beep the machine has been spouting out for at least thirty seconds now - could give a few pointers as well.
She visibly relaxes when they see that he's living and breathing, and one of them - the shorter one - goes over to the machine to hush it, allowing the room to be filled with the detailed sounds of what was going on outside the door.
"Why can't we go in already?" an irritated voice protests. "We're his friends."
"Listen," and he looks towards the slightly opened door and realizes that there's another nurse standing there, talking in a hushed tone. "He just woke up. He's in no condition for visitors."
"Oh come on," another voice snips, and this one's feminine and huffy.
"Absolutely not," the nurse finalizes.
"Please, just for a few seconds. Just so we can see if he's okay. I promise we won't bother you anymore after that - " Shiki recognizes that voice.
"Takuma," he croaks, throat hoarse and stinging with each vibration.
And there's not a thing the poor nurse can do to stop said vampire who all but shoves open the door and comes barreling into the room, scanning it quickly until his wide green eyes fall upon Shiki's bed. Somewhere in the back of his mind, Shiki notes how the nurse at the door relents with a frustrated sigh, and allows the other vampires to follow in soon after, but he's too focused on the one that, with long-legged strides, is marching over to him, nodding politely at the other, pleasantly amused nurse at his bed side, stopping when he's staring down at him.
"Takuma," he repeats dumbly, having no clue what to say in such a situation. He hardly was given any preparation.
But, judging from the noble's responding bright, toothy smile, Shiki thinks that maybe it was just right.
"Just what were you thinking?"
The smiling, cheerful reception hadn't lasted as long as Shiki had hoped it would.
A soon as each one of his friends - excluding Kaname, of course (Shiki assumed the others were now well aware that the pureblood's miraculous 'recovery' was neither miraculous, nor a recovery and that he was not well-suited for being in such an environment - blood bags, IVs, people) - had given him his fair share of awkward and slightly forced smiles, they had crowded around him with crossed arms and berating frowns - besides Yuuki, who stood behind the angered aristocrats and sympathetically grimaced.
"I - " Shiki begins, attempting to respond to Takuma's incredulously inquiring and wrinkled brow.
It comes as no surprise that his friend does not let him finish.
"That's right," Takuma interrupts, voice raised in a manner that Shiki's aching head deems very inappropriate for indoors - and in the infirmary no less. "You weren't."
Thankfully, Rima notices his pained flinch and calmly whispers, "Ichijou-kun," and places her hand on Takuma's shoulder, squeezing gently as a reminder that she knows how he feels, and agrees immensely. But she also knows that, while very deserving, Shiki was in no condition for this at the very moment.
And Takuma knows it too - of course he does.
Sighing, he nods and shakes off her hand, and says, with a much lighter tone, "Yuuki-hime was the one that found you in the hallway. You were almost - " Takuma cuts off and sucks in his cheeks, restraining something - and Shiki severely hopes it's not tears. "Dead."
Trying to save the aristocrat from any further embarrassment, he ignores the tiny falter and focuses on the girl that's nearly standing in the corner of the room, isolating herself from the others - and he's not sure if it's intentional or not. She apologetically smiles and shrugs her shoulders awkwardly before lowering her head back to the ground.
"Thank you," Shiki states, staring at her with unwavering, deep gray-blue eyes. "Yuuki-hime."
Her head snaps up and she blinks. "N - no problem."
"While this is incredibly heart-warming," Ruka drawls, although it's less aggressive than her typical sarcasm. Shiki suspects it has little to do with him, and more to do with her unstable relationship with the pureblood princess. It was quite obvious she was going to tread lightly when the girl was around. Ruka was smart enough to realize how lucky she was that Kaname wasn't exactly in the right mindset at the very moment, and either hadn't heard about the fueding girls' legendary spat, or simply didn't feel like meddling with it. "I suggest we get back to the matter at hand." She looks pointedly at Kain.
His eyes roll and exhales loudly. Somehow, in these situations, he always managed to draw the short straw. "Kaname-sama told us what happened... although it was fairly obvious considering the state we found you in..." he says this uncharacteristically timidly and looks back at the quiet and shying Yuuki, shaking his head, which makes Shiki wonder if perhaps finding him like that had affected her more than the others were letting on. If he thought about it, it made sense - seeing someone almost die, and by her brother's hand...
He wouldn't be feeling that well either.
"Anyway," Kain continues, turning back to face Shiki, "I have to admit, your plan was smart - "
"No, it wasn't!" Takuma cries in outrage, eyes wide and blazing a vivid electric-green.
"Ichijou, please," Kain sighs, rubbing his temples. The blonde noble's teeth grit together but he says nothing more, earning an approving nod from the fire-haired vampire. "As I was saying, your plan was smart, but it was so rash - so senseless. It was... poorly executed. You were foolish - you didn't think. You just acted. And while we all appreciate the effort you put forth to guarantee our safety, I think it goes without saying - or at least, until this happened, I thought it did - that we would all be even more appreciativeif you worked a little bit harder at protecting your own." A pause. "Nevertheless," the redhead purses his lips, "What you did - well, like I said, it was a good idea. The best we have for the time being at least. And we, together, and as a group, have decided to expand on your plan - to modify it."
Shiki's brow furrows. First, he's admonished for his actions, and now...?
"Instead of a single vampire, because that clearly would be a moronic mistake," - a jab no doubt directed at him - "we're all going to donate our blood to Kaname. Each and every one of us."
"What?" Shiki whispers, baffled. "Did everyone - "
"Everyone agreed," Ruka clucked condescendingly, studying her perfectly manicured nails with a bored, small grin.
Kain nods in confirmation. "However," and Shiki's attention is back on him, "We've come to the conclusion that such a decision is dangerous, so as a precaution, it is mandatory that during all feedings, at least one other person is present in case things get... out of hand. We don't want this" - he motions to the bedridden spikey-haired vampire - "happening again. That being said, no one," he throws a quick, warning glance at Aidou, who until this point, had remained expressionless (of course, now his mouth was aghast, and his clear blue eyes were spitting fire), "No one is allowed to give a second feeding until at least three days have passed since the last one they provided."
Shiki has to begrudgingly admit - that's a much better plan than his.
When she leaves the infirmary, she doesn't know why she goes to her of all people, but then, Yuuki understands the second Ruka sees that she's standing there - in the middle of the doorway - and the noble's face morphs into a poorly concealed (probably because its owner isn't trying to conceal it) grimace of distaste.
It's because she's honest.
Which is why Yuuki finds herself asking, "Can we talk?" before she ever really even considered saying it.
Ruka eyebrows narrow, and she flicks her light brown locks over her shoulder. "About what?"
Yuuki assumes that's the closest thing to 'yes' she's going to get. "I..." she trails off, suddenly a whole lot less confident than before.
"If you've come to apologize, I won't accept," Ruka states boredly.
Yuuki blinks. "I wasn't..."
"Oh," Ruka chips, back straightening and mouth pinching - which leads Yuuki to suspect that her previous words were far from the truth. "Well, then what's... up?"
"I - I had some questions about Onii-sama - well, specifically about blood bonds. I pulled a bunch of books from the library, including some ancestor journals, but they all really only mention complete bonds... and well, they're not very helpful. I was wondering if maybe you knew something about them - like how long Onii-sama can last on our blood, or what happens when he can't..." the pureblood trails off.
"I have no idea," Ruka says a matter-of-fact-like, and Yuuki suddenly feels incredibly foolish, because of course she didn't know, and if the noble did, Yuuki doubts she'd be the first one on Ruka's list of who-to-tell. She probably wasn't the first on anybody's list, and rightfully so. She wasn't exactly the most useful person in the world at the time being.
(Or ever.)
"Right," Yuuki murmurs, turning to leave -
"Wait," Ruka exclaims, hopping up from her seat at her vanity mirror. "Where'd you put the books?"
Yuuki falters, bemused. "The, uhh library..."
"And how many do you have left?"
The pureblood wine-eyes flicker up to the ceiling as she tries to remember... "I've found six so far, but I'm not even halfway through the second one, and I only was able to check four shelves."
Ruka nods. "And I bet there's more."
"Probably," Yuuki awkwardly concurs.
The light-brunette is now moving, approaching the doorway and walking straight into it, forcing Yuuki to move out into the hallway to allow the other girl through. She watches and listens, shocked, as Ruka calls out from behind her retreating figure, "Well, c'mon now. Let's go."
"O - okay," she stutters, eyes coloring a shade lighter with disbelief and excitement.
Ruka's body halts as she catches herself, and she's snipping, "But just to be clear - we're not friends. I'm only doing this because of... what did you call it...? Oh, right - my 'pathetic crush' on your brother."
Yuuki can practically hear the smirk in Ruka's voice.
And surprisingly, it doesn't bother her in the slightest.
Afterwards, the others leave, and it's just Takuma and Shiki, who have just been told by the nurse that sadly, Shiki would still be glued to the hospital bed for at least the next few days. They don't speak very often - not after the conversation with Kain and the nurse (they'll have to erase her memories later - can't have the kind lady blabbering to the other staff members that there are, heaven help, vampires at the school!) They can't; Takuma's still debating whether to be furious or relieved, and Shiki's feeling just plain exhausted.
The only words they trade are when Takuma stands up abruptedly and says he's getting them some dinner, and, surprisingly (to Shiki), he's not lying. He returns half an hour later, with two glasses filled to the brim with water - Shiki suspects that Takuma has managed to drip out at least some of it, given his typically clumsy nature - and two tiny, white capsules. He then sets them on the tray at the end of Shiki's bed and drops the tablets into the drinks - one in each - watching, fascinated as the pill fizzes and the clear liquid is tinted to a thin red.
Shiki finds it quite ridiculous that he's drinking blood when hooked up to an IV and blood bag, but he doesn't complain.
He knows better than that.
After a few minutes, Takuma, still sipping his half-empty glass, looks up and asks, "Hungry?"
Shiki's eyebrows raise in bewildered confusion until he notices how light the cup feels in his hands and glances down - it's gone. All of it.
Perhaps he was in worse condition than he had thought.
It takes him a second, but he realizes the aristocrat's still staring at him intensely, and is now slightly worried at his lack of response, so he shakes his head, and sets his glass down on the bedside table.
The green-eyed blonde doesn't appear the least bit convinced.
"I'm fine," Shiki reassures him.
Takuma nods, biting his lip and focusing back on the meal in his hand - not because he's hungry (although he really is), but really because it's somewhere else to look besides his friend's weak and pale face.
But Shiki's not having that. Especially, when he's slightly tipsy and rejuvenated by the sudden burst of energy brought on by consuming (probably too much) blood, and with a new, interesting something else poking its way into his mind -
The tickling sensation invokes a frame shaking shiver in the blonde, though this one is far more pleasant than any of the others he'd experienced that day.
"Taku... ma," he tags on the last syllable, not really sure if the other vampire would appreciate his nickname at the current moment. "The blood - in the bags - it's yours, right?"
"How did you - " Takuma stops, eyes wide and nervous - mainly because he realizes just how Shiki knows. He remembers how a person's blood - in large servings - has been known to show some of its owner's memories to the vampire that consumes it, but surely it wasn't -
Actually, come to think of it, he finds that it's very pleasant.
"You. I can feel it's you."
And his fears are confirmed, and his past anger is forgotten in his nervous anxiety.
"What did you - " he stutters, "What did you see?"
Shiki smirks, eyes twinkling. "Nothing much."
And Takuma just knows that bastard's lying, and he can't stop the pink that paints his cheeks, especially with the other vampire's cocky grin so unabashedly stretched across his face.
(While Shiki's just glad that he managed to pick the absolute perfect thing to distract Takuma from his displeasure...
Well, he's happy because of that, and the other obvious reason...)
"That's... that's impossible," Yuuki chokes, dropping the opened book onto the table with a loud thud.
Ruka peers up through a few collected pieces of cascading hair, away from the book she'd been trying to study intensely - but was failing at miserably - flitting her dreary gaze towards the stunned pureblood, and takes in the girl's bulging eyes and gaping mouth. "What is?"
Yuuki shakes her head in amazement. "Surely, there must be something wrong... I - I must've misread." She buries her head back into the book, and Ruka watches in confusion as she reads it once - twice - again - and again, until -
"That's impossible," Yuuki repeats.
"What is?" Ruka questions anxiously, standing from her comfortable spot in the cushioned loveseat and practically racing over to Yuuki's seat at the table.
"There's not much at all," Yuuki breathes, "Except for right here." She points to a small paragraph in the dusted book that is entirely too far away for Ruka to even begin to see, so she urges the girl to continue with a nod. "It doesn't really go into incomplete blood bonds, but it does mention that in any type of blood bond - which I'm assuming includes incomplete ones - if a vampire were to die, the vampire bonded to that vampire would die immediately after as well. It then says that this is because they were bitten - that biting someone can bind their life to yours..."
"So, wait," Ruka eyes her dubiously, "What part of that did we not already know...? I mean, I thought it was kind of obvious that Kaname-sama was dying and that it was because of Kiryuu-kun's - "
"Sounen-senpai," Yuuki interrupts, shaking her head. "The book said 'immediately after'. Onii-sama should have died immediately after Zero's death, but he didn't..."
It dawns on the noble, and she gasps, bringing her hand to her mouth in realization.
Yuuki trudges on anyway. "Which means - "
"Kiryuu-kun isn't dead."