Kyra opened the door to her barrack. She began shedding of various pieces of uniform quickly; first her Resistance-issued boots, then her flightsuit, then her regulation shirt and pants, leaving a trail of clothing in her wake as she made her way into her refresher. Briefly, she took a look in the small, dirty mirror she hadn't cleaned in ages due to her hectic schedule. The woman who stared back at her looked as exhausted as she felt, but in her eyes she saw a shimmer that hadn't been there before, a spark.
Taking a deep breath, she switched on her shower and stepped beneath the spray. Due to water conservation rules, she only had eight minutes before it'd shut off, so even though all she wanted to do was let the water soothe her aching muscles, she knew there was no such luck.
The mission had ended in success, despite it beginning in disaster. They were able to get some solid leads on the location of Lor San Tekka, and they managed to get the supplies needed to fix Poe's ship. Now it was being thoroughly inspected by technicians to keep a crash of that nature from ever happening again. In the process they'd lost connection back to the Resistance Base and General Organa had laid into her and Poe when they'd gotten back, since she knew nothing of the incident.
Luckily, the former princess seemed at least somewhat pleased with the results of the mission, and was taking some time to think about what to do before giving them any further commands. This gave Kyra some much-needed time to rest.
The shock of the impact had made her entire body ache. All she wanted was a hot tea and copious amounts of sleep. As much as she didn't want to, she forced herself to clean up her room, throwing the dirtied clothes in a hamper before crawling under the covers, so close to relief.
But relief was lost on her when she heard a knock on her door. It was faint at first, so faint she thought she might be half asleep and dreaming. When the knock came again she tried to ignore it, hoping whoever it was would just go away, if they desperately needed her they'd call.
But whoever it was persisted, until she angry stalked out of bed, throwing a robe over her night clothes, a scowl on her face. "What in Gods name-" she growled under her breath, throwing open the door so hard it hit the inside wall of her quarters with a muted thud.
"Oh," She felt her countenance relax when she saw Poe standing in front of her, looking more tired and disheveled than she felt. "Hi, Poe."
"Good evening," he responded.
"Is something the matter?" she asked, wondering why he could possibly be at her door this late.
Poe shook his head, a small smile playing on his lips, chuckling at her obvious grumpiness. She wondered how he could still have any energy after everything they'd been through. "No," he answered. "I was helping the technicians work on my ship. Felt it was wrong I got to go to bed and they didn't."
"That hadn't occurred to me," She answered, biting her lip. "Guess that's the reason why I'm not a commander."
"Nonsense. You've worked harder than I have," he said. "Between your shifts in the med bay and working with our squadron I doubt you ever get much sleep."
Kyra felt herself smile slightly, the energy he was giving off seemed to help her find whatever she had left. "If that's the case, then why are you here interrupting it?" she teased.
"I'm sorry," Poe began. "But I wanted to tell you I'm proud of you. I wanted to thank you for all your help. You've only been with us a few months but I can't imagine what it'd be like if for whatever reason you were transferred to another squadron."
Despite the emotion she felt bubbling inside, she tried to remain calm. "I'm just doing my job, Poe."
"I know...but I can't stop thinking about what you told me the other day, about how you said you felt like you didn't have a place here. You do. Maybe you don't feel like it, but you do," he said.
"I….I don't know what to say," Kyra said quietly, looking away from him. He was so kind to her, to everyone. She had always thought he'd be confident and cocky, and he was, sometimes. But right now she truly understood why he was considered one of The General's favorites, why he was in the position he was. Because he was an outstanding leader. "Thank you."
He nodded, then Kyra realized how rude she was being. "Would you like to come in?"
Poe shook his head. "No, I'll let you rest."
"Are you sure?" she asked.
He nodded. "I'll see you tomorrow."
"I'll see you then," she nodded. "And you get some sleep too."
"I will, I will," he waved his hand at her as he backed away, walking down the hallway.
Kyra shut the door, unable to explain the unfamiliar affection that she felt coursing through her veins. She pushed the feeling aside, ignoring it in favor of curling back up in her bed.
Kyra stared at the front of the pub, frowning a moment, the man's words echoing in her mind.
"There's a place for you...with us."
She shook her head, trekking home with a sadness weighing heavy on her heart. And something else, lingering beyond. The energy she could never explain, it felt like it was pulling her back to the place where the man still sat. It was strange how they had kept running into each other all week long.
It had been seven years since she was last home. Seven years. Her grandmother had fallen ill and she was forced to travel to the opposite hemisphere of Dantooine back to her hometown to be with her family. It was smaller than she'd remembered, and still filled with the same people. Her reunion with her father had been friendly, but still terse. As much as she wanted to let it go, she was still unhappy as a result of his decision.
She entered her childhood home and headed up to the bedroom her and her sister had shared. Her sister, Nara, was in town with her husband, but they were staying at an inn down the street with their son.
"Where have you been?" she was met with the voice of the man she'd been married to since she left home. Darin. His voice lacked any hostility, but she knew what the question was asked for. He was always keeping tabs.
"I was running errands for my father," she said. Darin was reading under the lamplight, some glasses perched on his nose.
"Your grandmother was asking for you," he said, not looking up at her.
Their arrangement wasn't the worst situation that could have happened. Her father had forced her into it, and she remembered how awful their wedding night was. But as time went on, it became less and less awkward and uncomfortable. It was a companionship, she wasn't happy, they weren't in love, but she recognized that things could be worse. He had paid for her medical school, had primarily given her freedom, but she still felt trapped.
Shortly after her younger sister had gotten married, her father had arranged the marriage, apparently feeling Kyra was too much of a burden living with them, even though she'd gotten a job and was saving up for school and was helping him put food on the table. But she'd never been her father's favorite, he wanted her out of the house as soon as possible. Kyra had been a troublemaker as a child, curious and outgoing, as she grew she tried her best to tame it, but it wasn't enough for him.
Kyra raced to her grandmother's bedroom upon hearing Darin's words, where she lay, all pale and weak. The life in her face, the sparkle that had always been in her eyes was all but gone. She brushed past her father and Nara, who stood in the doorway, kneeling by her grandmother's side.
"Grandma?" she asked, kneeling by Zatre, staring at her. Her eyes were closed, her breathing was shallow, but she stirred, cracking an eye to look at her granddaughter.
"My love," she said softly, looking over her shoulder. Her father and sister got the hint and exited the room, closing the door behind them. Kyra had to strain to hear her words. "Do you remember what I used to tell you when you were little?"
Kyra shook her head, unable to recall her grandmother's words.
"That someday you'd understand," her grandma answered. "Why your father was the way he was."
Kyra nodded, feeling tears prick behind her eyes. She was close to losing the only mother figure in her life. The only woman who'd showed her compassion and understanding. "I remember," she said.
"You're meant for more than this life," she whispered. "You're father thinks it's what's right for you….but you need to go."
Kyra shook her head, her brows furrowing. "Where?"
"That man you met in town….you think he's here for just anyone?" she whispered. "This is your calling. The Resistance needs you."
Kyra shook her head. "No, grandma. I can't leave now, not like this. Not while you're still here."
Her grandmother gave a soft smile, her eyes closing. Despite her illness, she seemed comfortable, so at peace. "I don't want you here. You're not meant to be here. It's time for you to stop giving yourself to others. Live for yourself."
Kyra shook her head, her grip tightening on Zatre's hand. "I love you."
"I love you, too, Kiki," she murmured softly, opening her eyes to stare at Kyra. "Now, go." The intensity in her gaze shocked Kyra, and she felt herself being pulled once again to the man sitting in the bar.
Her grandmother closed her eyes, letting her eyes close again, falling asleep. Kyra stood, backing away from the bed until she bumped into her father. Her breathing was unsteady as he looked down on her. How much had he heard? But instead, he nodded at his daughter, walking forward to sit again at Zatre's bedside.
Kyra retreated to her room. The shower water was running, Darin was in the refresher. And it dawned on her she had no other choice. The pull to the man she had met earlier was too strong for her to ignore now, like there was some type of magnet connecting the two of them and suddenly, she didn't feel bad for wanting to trust her instinct after ignoring it for so long.
She had to leave.
Grabbing a small bag, she threw a few personal items in it, a few changes of clothing. She sensed someone in the doorway, looking up to find her sister staring at her in disbelief, tears in her eyes. Having never been a good liar, Kyra's intentions were written all over her face.
But Nara surprised her, crossing the room and embracing her. "I'm going to miss you, Kyra. You're always going to be my big sister," she pulled away and smiled. "Please be safe."
Kyra nodded, her hand cupping her sister's face before kissing her on the forehead. "I'll come home someday," she promised.
She took the back staircase, hoping to leave before Darin exited the shower and her father noticed she was gone. He would never forgive her for this, she was sure. But she had the rest of her family's support.
Slinging the bag over her shoulder, she exited the back door and snuck alongside the house. All she had to do was cross the front yard and get out of view from the front windows and she'd be gone.
"Kyra!" her name was called, aggressively and angrily, and she whirled around to face her father.
"Where could you possibly be going right now?" he asked, crossing the yard to stand in front of her.
"I'm leaving," she said, standing tall, facing him head on for the first time in her life. "This isn't where I belong."
"And just exactly where do you think you belong?"
"This is the life you've created for me," she answered. "This is what you wanted for me, and I tried, for you. For so long. But I've never been more unhappy," her voice shook. "I'm not the favorite child, I've always been a burden to you. Isn't this what you wanted?"
"Is this really what you think I want?" he asked. "Since your mother passed I've only been doing what she wanted for you. I promised her I'd protect you. And that's exactly what I've done."
"You've forced me into a marriage I've never wanted on the opposite side of the planet," Kyra said. Her voice was growing shaky, cracking with emotion as adrenaline coursed through her veins, her voice growing into a shout. "I never see grandmother, my sister, who was my best friend! Is that protecting me?"
He didn't answer, just shook his head, so she continued. "If that's protecting me, I've had enough. I'd rather die trying to find my purpose than spend another day living this….this….whatever you think this is," she gestured toward the house. "Grandmother is right. I've waited years for you to tell me more about my mother, about me. But I'm done waiting. I'm going to have to find out by myself."
She expected him to lash out, to drag her back into the house and force her to stay. But instead, he took in deep, ragged breaths. "Be careful," she couldn't tell by his tone whether he was warning her, or really earnestly wanted her to look out for herself. But she knew her time was running out, so she turned around to trek in the direction of the bar.
Just as she was approaching it, the man she'd spoken to earlier exited, and paused when he saw Kyra in front of her with her bag slung over her shoulder. "I'm coming with you," she said sternly.
He smiled slightly, nodding. "I knew you would."
She didn't have much else to say, her altercation with her father now weighing heavily on her mind. So she followed him a few miles out of town, nervously looking back over her shoulder, hoping no one followed them. But the man in front of her didn't seem to be phased, strolling confidently. Kyra tried her best to imitate his posture. The ship he led her to was smaller than she expected, but had the Resistance symbol on it's wings.
It was then that she suddenly felt a wave of energy hit her, so hard it nearly knocked her off her feet. Grandma, she thought. Her grandma was gone. She could feel it. And she stared back, down at the little town she'd lived in, an overwhelming urge told her to run back, to apologize and live her life without complaining, without asking questions. She closed her eyes, trying to decide what to do.
"Go. There is nothing for you here anymore."
Her eyes snapped open, her grandmother's voice in her ear clear as day. But there was no one around. Just the pilot she'd walked here with, who was busy readying the ship. She knew she could trust him, and she needed to start trusting herself.
I apologize. It's been so long since the last time I've updated. I still love this story, and have had tons of ideas for it. I will continue to update it, maybe just not as regularly as I was. Please forgive me. Let me know what you think.