Finally I can post a new chapter! I don't want to spoil too much, but this has some bits I've been all excited about getting to for a long time, so I hope you will enjoy it too! I have been working on bits and pieces of the next several chapters, so while I know I'll just jinx myself if I promise I'll post them by whatever date, I can at least promise I'm still working on this fic and I'm not letting it die any time soon.
As ever, so many thanks are needed for my wonderful beta, slr2moons, who not only took time to help me with editing this chapter, but once again had to tell me to stop fussing over it and post already! Thanks to her, these are coming out even quicker than they would be otherwise.
I also want to say thank you to everyone who has kept reading, and especially the kind people who even take the time to review! You all inspire me to keep writing this to the very end and to turn out the best chapters I possibly can. Internet hugs all around!
Their enforced isolation at the training center left Max longing for more diverse challenges, but at least they weren't lacking in ways to communicate with the outside world. They had the phones, and could route letters through Mr. Dickenson. Then there was the one working computer in what had been the staff break room, which was enough to keep up with a few friends through email.
All of them had email accounts through the BBA, though Kai had ignored his for half a year while the team was separated until Max resorted to sending him a physical letter. (He didn't even know how many forwarding addresses it had needed to be routed through, but the response had taken over a month.) As of yet computer privileges were almost the only thing they hadn't argued over, since the only computer person had brought his own.
The best thing for Max was the ability to get emails from his mother, since they only managed to snatch a few minutes a week to talk on the phone. Max would print them out and take them back to his room so he could read them in private, especially when she sent him independent study work. He also appreciated being able to keep up with friends and getting some idea how other teams were shaping up in preparation for this year's championships while they were on their own training break.
Kit was quickly becoming one of those long-distance friends. His team had left Russia the day after Max saw him at the training center, and he was keeping Max updated on their progress while teasing Max about being hidden away for training. His information wasn't just statistics and new team announcements that Kenny could download and share with the others if they were sufficiently interesting, but things like budding rivalries, off-the-record grudge matches, and unspoken alliances. It wasn't as good as being out there himself, but Max enjoyed hearing about it.
So far Kit hadn't tried to bring up any uncomfortable subjects, at least not on purpose. Max got the impression that he was waiting for their rematch, or at least to meet in person, before returning to the subject of his own confession. Or maybe he had taken what Max said before to heart and was getting to know him first.
He had kindly refrained from pestering Max to respond to his crush, but this new email held something just as awkward. Among his news and friendly chatter was an innocent request. 'Can you tell that surly team captain of yours that I want a rematch? I'm training hard so I can be ready for both of you.'
Max didn't know what to say. He had gotten the feeling that Kai didn't like Kit very much, and didn't want to antagonize him. Besides that, there was no way he could explain to Kit why the thought of them fighting made him uncomfortable.
Of course Kai had the impeccable timing to come looking for him at just that moment. Max had made an idiot of himself trying to cover the computer screen with his hands to hide the text of the email from Kai.
"What are you doing?"
"Nothing!" Max tried to laugh it off. "Nothing at all."
Kai just looked at him through half-lidded eyes and let out a low breath as if his antics weren't worth decoding. "Lunch break is over," he reminded Max, before leaving him alone.
Max sighed in relief as he let his hands drop. When Tyson bounded in a minute later to see what was taking him so long, at least he didn't have to hide anything.
"What's up? Aren't you coming? Kai said you were looking at something weird on the computer."
"Kit just emailed to ask for a rematch with Kai." Max tapped thoughtfully at the edge of the keyboard without actually typing anything. "I don't know what to say. It seemed like they really didn't get along. Do you think it'd make Kai mad?"
"Nah. Just tell Kai the guy wants a rematch. Worst he can do is pull out his whole, 'I defeated him once, so now he's not good enough for me,' routine."
"I don't know." Max wavered. Maybe he was just reading too much into things. Kai had gotten really into their battle before. Maybe he would even like a rematch. Yet Max had never quite shaken the feeling of wrongness from that match, and didn't want to repeat whatever it was. He closed his email and rose to join Tyson, still unsure how he wanted to reply. "I'll think about it."
It was Tyson who finally set him off.
Kai wasn't even angry with Tyson. Sure, they had argued the day before about some stupid thing or another, and the day before that, and earlier in the morning, but each time Kai thought he had kept himself under control. That control lasted right up until Tyson somehow found exactly the right pressure point.
"You know, you should start taking challenges more often. It might help take the edge off. Like that guy you scorched last week. He told Max he wanted a rematch."
"You mean Kit. When was he talking to Max?"
"Oh yeah, they're email friends or something now," Tyson said, like it was the most natural thing in the world.
It should have been nothing but a flash of protective anger, maybe a little irritation that the cocky blader was still after Max even after the lesson Kai had given out specifically to warn him off. But then there was the thought that Max hadn't mentioned being in contact with Kit. That smug bastard was going behind his back to draw Max away from the team, and now he dared to challenge Kai again. If he wanted to turn this into a fight over Max, Kai would not lose.
That spark of anger set off something inside of him that Kai hadn't known was there. For an instant it was like before, his eyes going unfocused as the unplanned rage pounded in his ears, cutting off the world.
The fury wasn't enough of a shock for Kai to lose himself completely this time. He wrenched his mind away from the void of unthinking rage, fingernails digging into his palms.
"What the hell, Kai!?" Tyson shouted.
The yell snapped Kai back into focus to realize that Dranzer was close to blazing out of control. The heat from those flames was beating against Kai's face as Dranzer reared up and stretched ragged wings to fill his field of vision. It felt as if instead of moving to his unreasonable whims, she was trying to shield him from his own temper.
Kai tried to rein himself back in, and for an instant there were black spots dancing in front of his eyes from the effort. There was an acrid taste burning at the back of his throat. Kai fought not to double over in a coughing fit, feeling for an instant as if he was about to be violently ill. Something was prickling along his skin, so white-hot it might have been freezing him. Backlash wasn't supposed to feel like this.
While Kai was distracted, Tyson had dodged around Dranzer's flames to thump him hard on the back, reminding him to breathe. There was a warm breeze on his face. Dragoon was blowing Dranzer's warmth over him like the last gentle gasp of a dying storm. Then both of their beyblades were spinning out together as the flames finally died down.
"You okay?"
Kai managed a stiff nod, which set his head throbbing. When he didn't keel over or anything drastic, Tyson started questioning him in earnest.
"What was that all about? Is he like your mortal enemy or something?"
"No, I barely met him."
"Well, you had that same look as when you tried to torch him before."
"I don't like him," Kai allowed, grudgingly.
"You 'don't like' a lot of people, but you usually don't. . . y'know, fwomph," Tyson pointed out, throwing his hands apart in an imitation of the fireball Dranzer had become.
Kai couldn't concentrate. There was something buzzing in the back of his brain, nagging at him. He shouldn't be this angry. He wasn't happy that his warning hadn't made Kit back off, but the violence of his reaction took even him by surprise. One little spark and, 'fwompf,' as Tyson had put it. It was still there, smoldering away and making it impossible to think rationally.
There was no reason for him to react that way. Yes, Kit hadn't had the sense to back off, but it wasn't like Max was so vulnerable that Kit would be able to harm him before they could intervene. He had never explicitly told Max to stay away from Kit, either.
Maybe he could be angry because he suspected that Max had tried to hide Kit's persistence from him, but not like this. This was a sick heat pushing at him so hard that it almost seemed to be an outside force.
Max chose that moment to come bounding in, all spirited energy.
"Hey, Tyson! Hey, Kai, did you-"
"No," Kai snapped.
He didn't realize he'd said it out loud until Tyson snorted, "Chill out already," at him. He had both hands clenched into fists, refusing to let his barely controlled rage swing around at Max.
Before Kai could get away Max was there–right in his escape path–laying a concerned hand on his arm. He still held Draciel in his other hand, as if he was anticipating a battle, but his attention was suddenly focused on Kai.
Kai darted his eyes away from Max's face, trying to look at anything else. Draciel's talisman was surprisingly bright, catching the light at just the right angle so that it glowed in Max's hand.
"Are you all right?"
And just like that, he was. He had a headache for a souvenir, and he felt unsteady and lightheaded, but the roiling anger had tamped down under Max's touch. All that was left was his original twinge of irritation, and that was utterly trivial now.
Max had done something. What he had done, Kai had no idea, but he had no doubt that it was Max's work. It almost seemed that Max had calmed his unthinking anger with nothing more than a simple touch to his arm and a few words of soft-hearted concern.
Whatever had just happened, he needed Max. The thought bubbled up without warning, completely unfamiliar and yet so sure that he couldn't begin to doubt it.
"Hello? What is up with you two?" Tyson interrupted.
Only then did Kai realize he and Max had been staring at each other in silence. He must have been glaring without meaning to, because Max's cheeks were getting red. Kai tried to force his face into a kinder expression so that Max would know he wasn't angry. Even with his head pounding with building agony, the fact that Max had taken the anger away for him was pure bliss.
Unfortunately he must not have managed a believable smile. Max's face went even redder, and he ducked his head to break their silent gaze. Kai was suddenly aware that he wanted Max to understand how important he was.
He couldn't explain this in front of Tyson and Ray. He doubted his ability to even explain it to Max, but he needed to try.
"I need to talk to you later, alone."
Max agreed easily. His smile wasn't quite so blinding that Kai didn't notice the confused frowns he was getting from their other teammates, but he didn't mind. As long as he had Max with him, Kai dared to think he had a chance to triumph over himself.
"Do you have any idea what Kai wants to talk to you about?" Ray asked.
Kai had gone off somewhere yet again, and the minute they were sure he wasn't coming straight back, Ray had defaulted to the subject of their temperamental friend.
Max paused to think, though he'd been turning the words over in his head since Kai had said them. He still didn't know what it was all about. He knew what he might like Kai to be talking about, but that was only wishful thinking. He shook his head.
"He went all ballistic about Max being friends with Kit now," Tyson butted in helpfully, stepping in behind Ray. "I told him he's got no right to tell Max who he can't be friends with." Tyson crossed his arms to punctuate the statement, his stubborn mouth set in a way that promised he would help Max kick some sense into Kai if that was what their team captain had in mind.
"I thought you were doing the obstacle course," Ray commented on Tyson's interruption before asking, "Why would he have a problem with Max's friends?"
"They didn't get off to the best start, " Max admitted. "Kit kind of said some things to me, and Kai heard, and I think he misunderstood and got mad. He said it wasn't because of that, but. . ." Max shook his head at himself. There he was, jumping to conclusions again. "Maybe he was already in a bad mood when they faced off before? Did anything happen when you guys had that first match at the center to show off?"
"No, it was great!" Tyson enthused. "Kai kept looking up at the balcony or something, though. That was weird. He's usually right in the zone."
"What did Kit say that put him in a bad mood?" Ray asked, getting them back on track.
"Um. . ." Max hedged. "Just things like what he thought of me."
"What, like he said he hates your style or something?" Tyson burst out. "That jerk!"
Max blinked in surprise at the assumption. "What?"
"Obviously there was some trash-talk going on! No wonder Kai was pissed!"
"No, it was the opposite," Max tried to explain. "He said-"
"Where does Kai get off not telling the rest of us about that!?" Tyson ranted. "Especially me. I have first dibs on defending Max, right?"
Max was struggling not to laugh, knowing it would only get Tyson even more riled up. "It's not like that! He was really nice. He's like a rival, now. I promised him a rematch, too." Tyson would understand the concept of a friendly rival, of course. Their team practically collected them.
"And you're okay with that?" Ray wanted to know.
"Yeah, of course."
Tyson looked back and forth between them. "Did I miss something?"
"Don't sweat it," Ray reassured him, "Why don't you go hit the obstacle course again? We're not going to let anyone keep Max from making friends."
"Aren't we brainstorming what to do about Kai? Because I'm not going anywhere."
"No, we're going to talk about boring stuff now."
"Uh-huh." Tyson leaned back on his heels, silently daring Ray to tell him to butt out.
At least Tyson had allowed himself to be convinced that no one was picking on Max. Ray was not so easily shaken off of the scent, not even by Tyson.
"So if I'm understanding this right, Kit said he likes you, and wants to be your rival or something," this with a sideways glance at Tyson that made Max think he knew what Kit had said far more accurately than he was letting on, "and Kai overheard and went a little crazy."
"He said it wasn't because of that. . ." Max quelled under the look Ray was giving him and confessed what little he knew. "I think he just thought Kit said it to throw me off during our battle, so that's why he was mad. That's all. It wasn't trash-talk or anything. It's all settled now, and I really don't know why he doesn't like me being friends with Kit."
"Why would that throw you off?" Tyson wanted to know.
"Just as a surprise, I guess." Max wasn't sure how to explain that Kit had something more than friends or rivals in mind, and Tyson obviously wasn't picking up on it. He wasn't sure he wanted to add that to the conversation. "So I'm fine with it, and there's no reason Kai should have a problem, either."
Ray sighed.
"What?" Max could swear that sounded like relief. Ray's usual poise actually relaxed for a moment, as if he had lost a weight off of his shoulders.
"I was just worried about something stupid." Ray smiled to himself, and Max frowned and exchanged a glance with Tyson, who was even more lost than he was. "You're all right. Looks like Kai's just jealous of this guy. That's all it is."
"Why would Kai be jealous? He won their match, remember?"
"I think Tyson's right. There isn't any reason for him to be jealous."
Ray didn't answer right away, and Max knew he had to be thinking of exactly how much he was going to let himself say. It was supremely unfair of him to have secrets after he had just been interrogating Max!
"You know how Kai has been lately?" Ray started to explain. "He's not sleeping and he's irritable, and just suggesting it makes him defensive. I don't know what's wrong, but it seems like you make it better, whatever it is that you do. So don't you think that the idea of you having a rival, or anyone who takes your time away from him, might make him jealous?"
"Wait, is that why Kai keeps hanging on Max?" Tyson interrupted.
"Yes," Max and Ray answered together. "Didn't you notice?" Ray added, momentarily turning away from scrutinizing Max.
"Yeah, well whenever he does that to me he's trying to catch me messing up so he can make a point! I thought that's what he was doing to Max."
"He only does that to you because you get so cocky whenever you invent a new move."
At that, Tyson quit the conversation and slouched back to the obstacle course, grumbling something to himself that sounded suspiciously like 'captain jerkbutt,' but Max wasn't paying attention. He was still thinking about what Ray had said.
"You really think I'm helping him that much?" It hadn't occurred to Max that he might be important enough that Kai wanted his help, especially to the point where he wouldn't want to share. Max thought he had more energy than Kai could stand most days. At best he had hoped he grated on Kai's nerves less than most company.
"That's what I think." Ray straightened his back, regaining his usual poise, and Max knew he wasn't going to get any more information. "You'll be friends with Kai no matter what, right?"
"Of course. I like Kai." Max's face chose that moment to betray him. He could feel his cheeks burning in nervous embarrassment, a glowing testament to exactly what he meant by 'like.' "I mean, we're good friends and all! At least, I think we get along well. I really like all of you guys," Max fumbled around, trying to cover.
Max looked around, staring very intently at anything other than Ray. If he didn't look directly at anyone, they somehow wouldn't notice how flaming red his face was getting.
Yet Ray didn't call him on his awkwardness.
"Hey, Max," Ray said, tricking Max into looking back around at him. Max was surprised to find him offering an enigmatic smile. "Go get 'em."
Kai was running.
He couldn't seem to remember how long he had been running, but every breath burned in his lungs. He had never thought he would run from a fight, but this was a fight he could never win. He had tried and failed so many times, and now even running was no longer an option as he stumbled, unable to feel his legs under him anymore.
"Kai!"
There was a hand reaching out to him. Kai looked up, dazed by the blood pounding in his ears, and saw Ray offering him a hand up. Somehow Kai managed to grasp at the solidity of Ray's hand. Ray hauled him back to his feet, and Kai felt as if strength was flowing back into his weakened body through the point of contact.
The next thing he knew, he was running again. Ray was pulling him by the hand and forcing him to find unknown strength. With Ray as his guiding lifeline, he thought for a moment they would make it. He didn't even know where he was trying to go, as long as it was far away. Somewhere Black Dranzer couldn't smother him.
It wasn't exhaustion that made Kai stumble again. Tendrils of black flame whipped around his ankles, so hot that they seemed to freeze him even as his skin charred black. His hand jerked out of Ray's grip as he fell.
He could hear Ray shouting when that black veil of fire and smoke fell over him.
Kai jolted awake as if Ray's shout had really landed in his ears. His own breathing sounded harsh, and his throat felt raw. He strained his ears in the silence, trying to calm a body still tensed to flee as in his dream, but there was no sound of another person in the room with him.
It took a moment for Kai to regain control of his limbs, to sit up and turn on the light. He was alone in his room. It was almost three in the morning, so of course there wouldn't be anyone else there. Of course there would be no one to hear his panicked gasping.
His throat and lungs felt more raw than during any training run. For a minute Kai doubled over coughing as if he really had been breathing smoke, further abusing his throat.
Once he had managed to catch his breath, swallowing painfully in an attempt to force down any further coughing fits, Kai dragged himself out of bed. A drink of cold water would help ease the raw feeling when he breathed, and a bit of cold air would clear the imaginary smoke from his head.
The training center would be dark and silent at this hour, but that had never bothered him before. Kai certainly didn't expect company.
Max had always been a pretty heavy sleeper, but now he found it was taking less and less to rouse him. Like now, just the lightest touch and he blinked his eyes open to find Kai paused in the action of putting a blanket over him.
"Mm. . ." Max rubbed his eyes as he sat up. "What time is it?"
"After three. I saw you go to bed, so what are you doing on the couch?"
"I was waiting for you to get up," Max blurted out. Sleep had apparently fogged up what little control his brain had over his mouth.
Kai turned his back on Max and started towards the door. "Just go to bed."
"Wait, where are you going?" Max scrambled off of the couch and followed after Kai, trying not to stumble over anything. His eyes still felt gummed with sleep, and he rubbed at them in an attempt to wake up.
"I'm going for a walk."
"Now? But it's the middle of the night!"
Great. Max knew he had pretty well lost his chance to talk to Kai tactfully. The least he could do was try to make himself clear.
"It seems like you're up almost every night lately, so I stayed up to check on you. If you want to be alone I'll leave you alone. You don't have to go running out in the cold in the middle of the night." Max had to stop and take a deep breath before finishing on a hopeful question, "Kai, can't I keep you company?"
Kai zipped up his coat, face turned stubbornly away so that Max thought he was being ignored. He was about to repeat his plea when Kai finally answered, "I'm just taking a walk to clear my head. You don't have to do anything."
Now that he felt less fogged with sleep, Max was sure Kai wasn't emanating the powerful 'back off' vibes he usually had when he wanted to be left alone. If anything he seemed weary.
"I'll come with you."
Max didn't think Kai would wait for him to change, so he pulled on his own coat and boots over his pajamas. He had grabbed Draciel from his spot on the couch and slipped the beyblade in one pocket out of habit. He found and donned the new gloves Kai had bought for him before he noticed the look Kai was giving him.
"I know I don't have to. I want to."
"Suit yourself."
With that they left, Max hurrying to stay at Kai's side. It was dead silent outside, without even a breeze to whisper over the snow. The sky was perfectly clear, and Max found himself distracted by the sharp sickle of moon among a riot of stars.
He could only see the faint shape of Kai's profile at first in the starlight, but Max kept looking. He wanted to know what sort of expression would be on Kai's face now. He wanted to know what to say, or if he should speak up at all in the darkness.
They kept to the road this time, and Max was grateful to have a clear path. He was paying far more attention to his companion than to where he was walking.
"Why were you waiting up for me?" Kai finally asked.
Max hadn't expected Kai to break the silence. He took a deep breath, trying to remember the little speech he had been planning out in his head before he fell asleep. "I'm worried about you. I mean, we all thought you were just an early riser before, but are you even sleeping at all these days? I know something's bothering you, but you don't want to talk about it. I'm not saying you have to tell me or anything. I know it's not okay, and that's enough. I just want to be there for you if I can help at all."
"You don't have to do anything for me."
"I want to," Max repeated. He had thought that much was obvious. "Even if all I can do is talk to you and take your mind off of the things bothering you, I want to do that."
The silence between them felt hollow, and Max wondered if he should have said something else to make Kai understand. Now that Max's eyes were adjusting to the light he noticed a faraway look in Kai's eyes, as if he wasn't seeing the road in front of him at all.
The dark bruises under Kai's eyes looked even more dramatic than usual as the faint moonlight washed the color from his face. Kai might appear as perfect and immovable as a statue, but he wasn't. Max knew he wasn't cold and solid stone inside. He wasn't above suffering from something as simple as sleep depravation.
"Then talk to me," Kai whispered. Max didn't even see his lips move.
"Okay." Max wasn't sure what to talk about. "Do you want to hear about some of the research that was going on while I was helping my mom?" That afforded more stories than he knew what to do with. He'd been sharing them one by one, mostly with the Chief when he was frustrated and needed to hear about someone else's work going wrong.
"There was this lady who works in the labs across from my mom," Max started when Kai didn't voice a preference. "She was experimenting with making these beyblade cores out of superconductors. I was in there helping her test the prototypes a lot and she showed me how they worked." Max paused, and Kai gave him a faint nod that Max interpreted as a hint to continue.
"It was a good idea, except they only work at really low temperatures so she would have to pour liquid nitrogen inside the blade to get them cold enough, and then it would boil off if you kept them out too long, so she was trying to insulate them without messing up the balance and everything. It was actually really cool looking! The blade would get so cold it would frost over because just the water in the air would freeze on it!"
Max had a reasonable stock of entertaining stories to share based on messing with the left-over liquid nitrogen. He went into those first. Like when Dr. Huck's boyfriend brought her roses for Valentines and the first thing she did was dip one in the liquid nitrogen dewar and smash it on the counter. Max still didn't understand why her boyfriend hadn't thought that was funny.
He did try to tell Kai about the stuff that they were actually trying to do, like using magnets to get the blade to hover. Finally he got to the most exciting bit of the story.
"What we didn't realize is we were freezing and thawing the practice blade so much, we were stressing out the frame. I think something finally cracked inside. So one day I went to launch it, and it exploded! I mean, it just completely flew apart! There was beyblade shrapnel flying everywhere and drops of liquid nitrogen spinning across the floor and everything. I always thought she was crazy about insisting on us wearing goggles in her lab all the time, but I was really glad to have them right then."
Max paused to take a breath, watching Kai for any sort of reaction. He could swear Kai tensed up, hands curling into fists and eyes darting over to him before settling back on the road, but he didn't say anything.
"And do you know what she did after that?"
"Hm," Kai murmured. At least he was listening well enough to know Max had prompted him for an answer.
"She did it a bunch more times. I mean, stressing out a whole bunch of blades with the freezing and thawing until they broke. And then she wrote everything up in a research paper."
Max personally thought the whole thing was hilarious. The progression from surprise freezing shrapnel hitting him in the face to systematically destroying things and writing it up neatly as a research project appealed to him.
"She got this shield set up after the first one exploded, but my mom was still kind of mad when she found out I was helping with that."
Kai didn't respond, and Max sighed in frustration. That was one of his best stories, too. It had humor and explosions and breaking things disguised as research. What more could Kai want?
"Are you really listening, or do you just like the sound of my voice?"
"I'm listening."
Max was silent for a few minutes. At first he was actually sulking, just a little bit, at Kai's non-reaction. After a while he got to watching Kai, and his annoyance melted away.
The faint light and shadows of the night made the curves of Kai's face and jaw even more stark than usual. There were shadows under his chin, behind his ear, and where his bangs fell across his forehead, and Max wanted to slip his fingers into those places to touch the hidden skin.
The silvery parts of Kai's hair almost shone in the eerie light, making his mind serve up the idea of Kai as a gaunt, sleepless ghost. Max tried to pretend he only wanted to touch to reassure himself that Kai was there and real, but he couldn't fool even himself. No matter the lighting, Kai was too sturdy to mistake for a ghost. He just wanted to touch Kai because it was Kai.
Kai was watching him sideways in return. His gaze flicked away when Max caught him, but then back again only a moment later. Max felt a shiver go down his spine, and he didn't think it was the cold.
"Hey, Kai, you said there was something you needed to talk to me about," Max prompted. "This is private enough, right?"
There was a silence so full of delicious secrets surely just waiting to be revealed that Max could hardly stand it. He had to know what Kai wanted to tell him, just him alone, that he wouldn't share with anyone else.
"It's nothing," was all Kai said.
"What? But you were going to tell me!"
"It's not important."
"Of course it's important! You said you needed to talk to me, and now I'm right here for you. You know I'm listening. How can you say it's not important?"
Max was dancing on his toes in agitation, darting back and forth in front of Kai as if he would need to catch Kai's words when they came out. He wasn't paying attention to his own footing as he jumped around in front of Kai.
Faster than Max could think, his foot had shot out from under him as he skidded on a patch of ice. He flailed for an instant, and Kai didn't so much catch him as happen to be in the exact right spot for Max to fall into.
Headbutting Kai in the chest, Max grabbed at Kai's coat to catch himself. Kai stood firm, his hands holding Max's arms to keep him from going down, though the grip could just as easily translate into pushing Max out of his personal space at any second.
For a moment Max stayed with his face pressed into Kai's chest, wondering if he could pretend his burning cheeks were just flushed from the cold. He felt like he always ended up making an idiot of himself in front of Kai. Why couldn't he ever pull off an instant of being dashing and cool and maybe have the slimmest chance of impressing Kai? No, he had to trip over his own feet and get hit in the face with beyblades.
This train of thought was abruptly cut off when Kai pushed him back, just enough so that he couldn't hide his face. What really made Max's brain grind to a halt was that Kai was still holding his arm, keeping contact even though Max was in no danger of falling now.
Max felt as if his heart was trying to pound its way out of his chest. Surely Kai was going to hear it and ask him what was wrong. Or worse, he would know. Or maybe he already knew. Maybe that was what he had wanted to talk about. It wasn't impossible, was it? Max couldn't help hoping that Kai would accept him, giddily pounding heart and all.
"I have something I want to tell you, too," Max whispered. It didn't come out as strained or nervous as he had feared. There was one thing. "You go first, okay?"
Kai let out a quiet sigh of exasperation. Max could practically hear the sentiment of, 'What am I going to do with you?' in that sigh, but there was something more than the tone that whipped the last of Max's good sense right out of his head. Kai's warm breath burned across his face.
Max shivered as he breathed in Kai's breath, feeling it warm on his lips. For an instant he was reminded of Kit's words. 'If you can't even imagine yourself kissing him. . .' but he could imagine it. Maybe he was delirious, but he could imagine Kai pressing more than an errant breath over his lips.
And then he wasn't imagining it. Max leaned up, still clutching at Kai's coat as if it was the only thing keeping him upright, and he pressed his mouth to Kai's in a clumsy kiss. It wasn't until he actually did it that Max was aware how much he'd wanted to. He clung to Kai, trying to push closer.
Kai had a different reaction. His eyes snapped wide open in shock, and before Max had more than an instant to think that this was definitely better than he had imagined, Kai had bodily forced him away.
Losing his grip on Kai, Max stumbled back, windmilling his arms, and barely caught himself before he could fall in the snow.
Kai was staring at him, and there was an odd, sick, cold deep inside his heart that hurt worse than if he had fallen. Before Max could find his voice to apologize, to make an excuse, Kai had turned on his heel and started to storm away.
"Wait, Kai!" Max scrambled after him, trying to catch up without slipping again. "I'm sorry! It was a really stupid idea! I shouldn't have-"
Jerkily, Kai wiped the kiss away on the back of his hand. Max could tell even from behind.
"Come on, Kai, was it that bad?" Max wailed. This was not the reaction he'd wanted, not the one he'd foolishly hoped for, but it was what he should have expected. "I wasn't trying to make you mad! I just. . . like you."
Kai stopped abruptly at the breathless confession, so that Max ran into his back. He stayed there for a moment, wanting to hug Kai so that he wouldn't be left behind and knowing better. After a breathless, hopeless moment, he took a step back.
"What was that?" Kai demanded, his voice so low it was nearly a growl.
Max swallowed hard. His heart was trying to climb up into his throat. What did Kai expect him to say? Should he try to backtrack? To play it all off as a stupid joke?
"I kissed you because I like you," Max offered. It was that simple. So why did he feel as if he had messed up everything?
Kai's silence was nerve-wracking.
"I should have known better," Max went on, trying to push back the silence. "I mean, you told me you don't like anyone, so of course that includes me. Even if you did like someone it wouldn't be me. And I'm sorry, really sorry, for doing something like that. And I won't do anything like that ever again, so please don't-"
"Max, you're babbling. Stop."
Max paused to take a deep breath, then frowned at Kai's interruption. "I'm not babbling," he protested weakly.
Kai didn't look angry, even when Max crept closer and peeked up at his profile. He didn't have his usual unconcerned look, either. Max didn't know how to read his expression. His eyes were wide, staring off at something in the distance, before flicking over to focus on Max.
"Can you forgive me?" Max whispered. He needed Kai to forgive him for the momentary insanity of that kiss. What would he do if Kai didn't?
"I need to think about this."
"Kai, please just tell me you're not interested. I already know."
"Give me some time."
What did he need to think about? Max was afraid Kai needing time to think meant he would reconsider something else, like being friends at all.
"Kai. . ." Max pleaded.
"You're shivering. We should go back."
"I'm not cold."
"We're going back," Kai repeated. His eyes were hidden now, sinking into the shadows of his bangs as he turned to avoid Max's gaze.
Kai started to walk again, but this time Max didn't follow. He stayed rooted to the spot, half sure Kai wanted to be as far away from him as possible. When Kai looked around at him he actually took a step backwards.
"Max." Kai's firm voice seemed to hit him right in the heart, reminding him that this was a direct order from his beloved team captain.
Max trailed along after Kai, leaving a generous distance between them as his thoughts weighed him down. They would still be friends somehow, right? Kai tended to hold his grudges as tightly as a bear trap, but they were friends. Friends forgave and accepted and worked around old sore spots, didn't they?
"What are you doing?" Kai wanted to know. He stopped to look back at the slowly widening gap between them, and Max stopped as well. "Do you want to stay out here until you freeze?"
"No?" Max could only gaze at Kai, as hopeful as a lost puppy asking to be taken home.
"Then hurry up."
Max tagged along when Kai started off again, increasing his pace so that he was slowly gaining on Kai. Apparently he didn't catch up quickly enough, because Kai got fed up once again. He actually turned and strode back to where Max was, grabbed him by the arm, and started to pull him along at a hard pace just short of breaking into a run.
Max's heart was pounding far too hard for their brisk pace. Kai was staring straight ahead, so Max couldn't catch his eye. Not that he should be trying to. He had to concentrate on not stumbling over the hard ridges of snow and falling into Kai again.
There was an unexpected joy taking him over, just from Kai's brisk attitude. He should have known Kai didn't like him, but this made him equally sure that Kai didn't hate him either.
He hadn't realized how far they had gone. In the tense silence their walk back seemed to take hours. Even when Kai dropped his arm a minute or so after seizing it, trusting Max to keep up, it was okay. Max didn't need a verbal promise or that continued hard grip to know Kai wasn't abandoning him now.
No matter how angry he had made Kai, or even if he had ruined his one chance to explain how he felt, it was enough for Max to know that Kai still wanted to bring him home.