Don't know if anyone's interested to know, but here's a tiny bit of trivia: whenever I'm stumped writing Chuck's and Carina's characters, there are two songs that I listened to; 'Should I stay' and 'Give me a little more time'. Both songs are sung by the British singer, Gabrielle. Not everyone's cup of tea probably, but the words from those songs usually let me get a feel of the characters' state of mind and I just go from there. And if you guys do listen to them, feel free to drop me a line about what you feel the songs represent.

Anyways, thanks for reading.

Disclaimer: Chuck's not mine.

Raindrops streaked down the window of his room. Outside, the sky was painted a dull grey, the relentless downpour refusing to let up for five straight days. From the tourist populated streets of London, to the gritty back alleys of New York, and finally back home to the wide open spaces of Burbank; three different cities, the same gloomy weather.

None of that mattered anyway. No amount of sunshine could inject a much needed dose of levity in their house. Even Casey, with his brand of sarcasms and his own patented grunts, had mostly kept to himself whenever the four of them were under the same roof. There was no cause for cheer. No laughter to be shared amongst them even when they were closer now to the truth. Closer than ever to completing their mission.

Just the dismal cloud hanging over their once lively camaraderie.

And Chuck couldn't help feeling that it was all his fault. If only he could turn it all around. If only he had control of his own heart. If only he hadn't come back to Burbank. If only he hadn't been so compromised. If only.

The two saddest words in his life right now.

But he was helpless against the tide of misery that threatened to sink all of them. He wasn't a superhero like in his comic books. He couldn't give joy at the push of a button. He was just an ordinary guy, albeit with a supercomputer in his brain and a fairly capable skill set to help him survive in the cutthroat world of espionage. He was just Chuck.

The only little comfort he could take was that despite the team not bonding like they used to outside of mission, Sarah's and Carina's friendship didn't seemed to be affected. It was true what Carina had said once, that her friendship with Sarah had gone through many a turbulent times. And every single time something happened to shake it, they had come out of it stronger. Closer.

Yet the same couldn't be said about his friendship with Carina. The more he tried to talk to her, the more she began to pull away. It was as if she had shut him out completely.

Nonetheless, he was clinging on a tiny piece of hope. He knew it wasn't just wishful thinking. Knew it wasn't one-sided. Because he understood where she was coming from. And he knew he had to keep breaking those walls if he were to get her to listen. Still, it didn't mean he wasn't affected. That all that wall of non-emotion wasn't wearing him down.

But was it selfish of him to pursue her knowing that his continued effort could possibly jeopardized Carina's relationship with Sarah? Was he so self-centred that he was willing to ruin that bond just for the preservation of his own heart?

Yet every time he took a step back, it had hurt him. Hurt him terribly. He sorely missed what they had back in D.C. Felt that aching emptiness in his chest from the loss of their warm companionship.

It was a constant struggle for Chuck. Not knowing what was right or wrong anymore; his head in perpetual war with his heart.

The clap of thunder broke him out of his brooding. How long had he been staying in the semi-darkness of his room with only his despair for company? He got up from his bed and padded out. Carina's door was wide opened, and a peek inside showed it empty of its occupant. No movement could be heard coming from above either.

Flipping the switch, he blinked momentarily as his eyes adjusted to the flood of light that lit the living room. Barely three steps in, he heard Casey's voice behind him.

"Where the hell have you been?"

"I came in quite some time ago," Chuck said, as he sat down on the couch. "Where are the rest?"

"Walker's at Castle. She's been trying to call you. Didn't you get her message?"

"No,' he frowned. "Phone must be set on vibrate. Why? Anything wrong?"

Casey didn't reply as he walked over to the kitchen, and rummaged the fridge. Pulling out a carton of orange juice, he drank straight from it, inviting an indignant protest from Chuck.

"Casey!"

"What? It's finished," he tossed the empty container away, crossed the room, and sat on the opposite couch.

"It's mine."

"Well it's gone. And you have to pack up. You're going to the Cayman Islands… with Blondie."

"I thought I was going with you. And why so soon? That wasn't what we planned."

He smirked. "Turns out our shady banker is flying in with a friend. Tonight."

"And?"

"Marko Gomez. Recognize him?" Casey showed a picture of said man from his cellphone. Chuck shook his head. "Well, Carina and I had a brief but very bruising encounter with him in Prague. Used to be a double agent and now he's apparently just a bodyguard shadowing our man wherever he goes. We can't have him meeting me, can we? Come on, Chuck. It's a simple enough op." He sank in his seat. "Besides, I thought you'd be pleased. Oh wait a minute, the situation is different now. You got the hots for a different C.I.A. skirt." When Chuck shifted uncomfortably, Casey said, "What- is that supposed to be some big secret? You might not do or say anything in front of us, but the way you looked at her is a dead giveaway."

"I don't have the hots for her alright."

"You just wanna get in her pants."

"Don't talk about her that way."

A strange expression replaced the big man's smirk. Regarding the nerd's words as he propped both feet up on the coffee table, Casey said, "That's the least of it you know. Are you going to flare-up every time someone says something negative about her? It comes with her reputation, Bartowski."

"Yeah, but I don't have to hear it coming from you," he said, getting up.

"You really do like her, don't you?" Casey shook his head. "And here I thought it's some geek's infatuation. Quit it. You're just wasting your time.

"It's my time to waste," Chuck looked at Casey with a quiet resolved. "Does Carina know I'm leaving?"

"Even if she does, it's not like she cares. She's out on a date with some guy."

His eyes lifted to the ceiling with a sigh. "It's Marc, isn't it?"

"How did- Where the hell are you going?" he hollered.

For too long he had put everyone else before him; placed their needs, their feelings first. So for once, Chuck didn't allow his head to rule him. Didn't leave any room for introspection. He hastened to his room, grabbed his jacket, cellphone, and his car keys, and he walked over to the front door.

"Moron! Your flight's leaving in two-" Casey didn't even get to finish his words; the sound of the door slamming cutting him off.

The downpour had slowed to a light drizzle when he entered the building. Lush music vibrated around the walls of Burbank's popular nightclub. As he made his way in, crossing the packed dance floor, she stood out almost immediately to him. Sitting at small round table with her companion, Chuck could easily recognize her even with both their back towards him. There was only a moment's contemplation on his part but as soon as Carina's date leaned in close to whisper something in ear – what looked to Chuck like an intimate gesture - jealousy won over reason.

With a purposeful stride, he went over to where Carina sat, took a deep breath, and said, "Carina-"

"Who's the cutie?"

Chuck's head whipped towards Carina's date, his eyes widening. "You're not Marc."

"Why would he be Marc?" Carina asked in an accusatory tone.

"I'll be whoever you want me to be, darling," the man replied smoothly, saving Chuck from a potentially embarrassing situation.

"Don't mind him, Chuck. He's gay."

Chuck gaped at the impeccably dressed man. "You're gay?"

"Gay and proud of it," he said, in his clipped English accent.

He stared at the man again, noticing his perfectly coiffed hair; his dark brown hair merely accentuating his emerald green eyes. The strong cheekbones, pillowy lips, and his shaped eyebrows completed his model good looks. He is one very pretty man, Chuck thought. And he's gay. Chuck couldn't help the relieved laughter that followed as he gave the stranger a bear hug.

"Chuck?" Carina spoke, this time in confusion.

"Frisky little tiger," the man said. "Normally I'd introduce myself first but since we're already getting physical, let's skip pleasantries and head up to my place."

And he's like a male Carina, Chuck observed, as he took a tiny step back.

"Back off, Julian," Carina said.

"What? I saw him first," Julian winked at Chuck, pulling a chair for Chuck to sit on. "I call dibs on him."

"No you don't. He's not gay."

"He could be," Julian directed a sweet smile at Chuck, who was getting a little uncomfortable by the blonde's appraisal of him. "Aren't you, darling?"

"Don't encourage him, Chuck. His ego doesn't need any more inflating."

"Actually," Chuck interjected awkwardly while he sat between them, "he's really pretty."

"Oof," Julian pressed a hand dramatically to his own chest, "a man after my heart. Hear that, Carina?"

"Go ahead and date him then," Carina turned away from Chuck, who quickly backpedalled. "But Carina's definitely way more gorgeous."

"Hey," Julian protested. "I'm letting this one slide because she's my dearest friend."

Smiling apologetically, he extended a hand to Julian. "I'm Chuck. Nice to meet you."

Julian took his hand. "Julian. My offer still stands by the way."

"Julian…"

"Oh don't get your knickers in a twist." He directed his attention to Chuck. "Is your girlfriend always this possessive?"

"He's not my boyfriend."

"Not yet," Chuck muttered avoiding the murderous glare from Carina.

"Bloody fascinating," Julian said slyly. "By the way, Chuck, since she's unavailable… I am."

"I can see why you're friends."

"What is that supposed to mean?" Carina asked.

"Err… means that you're both… ermm… well you're not reserved. A quality I find very endearing in-"

"In a man?" Julian asked hopefully.

"In Carina," Chuck said, looking at her.

"I see," Julian tapped his finger on chin. "Not women in general. Not even a specific type, but her- just the one. Boy you are impossibly direct. And you called us forward?" Julian stole a glance at Carina, smirking at her attempt to appear indifferent. "Ugh, I don't know what you see in her. Aside from the fact that she's incredibly gorgeous, has exquisite blue eyes, a to-die for body, immaculate fashion sense… really there's nothing else going for her."

Chuck began to chuckle but stopped instantly at Carina's look.

"So," Carina said, "other than to annoy me, why are you here?"

Julian cast a cheeky smile Chuck's way, observing his sudden unease. "He's here to crash our date, aren't you cutie-pie?"

The reddish tinge that crept its way up Chuck's cheeks confirmed what Julian had surmised.

"Because you think I was on a date with Marc?"

"It's not my fault. Julian's hair looked like Marc's from the back."

"Why would you think I'd ever go out with him? I told you he's nobody."

"How would I know that? You don't tell me anything now, do you?"

"Obviously I did. But you don't trust me."

"Well do you?"

"About what?" she asked, the cool façade finally cracking as her calm voice climbed up a notch.

"That it's over," Chuck burst out, his admission stunning them both into silence. He didn't need to elaborate. Judging by the look in her eyes, they both knew what he was referring to.

Julian leaned back comfortably in his seat; his eyes sparkling with mirth as he watched their intense exchange. Carina has a lot of explaining to do, he thought. "How passionately hot," Julian remarked. "All this unresolved sexual tension. But you're right… I believe that you both are not dating."

That seemed to snap her out of her daze. Directing her attention for a minute on the dance floor, she took a sip of her drink before she talked about needing some air and she rose from her seat, and walked away from their table.

"See you around," Chuck said to a pleased-looking Julian, and he quickly caught up to her, as they squeezed their way through the crowds.

"You've never spoken about him before. How did you meet him?" Chuck asked, attempting to steer the topic away from the tense situation as they reached the bottom of the stairs that lead up to the exit.

"Julian's the younger brother of someone I used to work with. Short story – we bonded."

Chuck took it in while they ascended the steps. "Long story?"

She didn't answer. As always.

The rain had ceased and the cool air as they stepped outside the establishment was a much welcome reprieve. Away from the pounding music, Chuck found it easier to think. His nerves less of a jumbled mess unlike moments ago. They continued walking without speaking, moving away from the queue that formed outside the club. Turning a corner and entering an alley, they took a few more steps in before Carina stopped, and stared at him. "Why are you really here, Chuck?"

"I'm going off to the Cayman Islands with Sarah in about two hours."

"So?" With nothing else forthcoming, her eyes narrowed. "That's all you wanted to tell me?"

"Actually no," he sighed, suddenly feeling frustrated. "I don't know exactly why I came here. I just heard from Casey that you were out on a date and I just-"

She scoffed in incredulity, leaning her shoulder against a section of the wall of the building that jutted out. "So you got jealous… of Julian?"

"That was before I found out that he was gay. And at least I admit I'm jealous."

"Excuse me?"

Chuck took a step forward, putting him within touching distance of Carina. Though she didn't budge from her spot, her posture remained defensive. He didn't care. He had her where he wanted her to be; trapped between a wall and his body. "How long are you going to keep doing this? Shutting me out. Pretending like there's nothing between us."

"Who's pretending?" Disbelief displayed on her expression. "And do you really think now is a good time to be talking about this? Don't you have somewhere you need to be?"

"There never seemed to be a good time anyway. Either you avoided me, or you simply refused to listen to what I have to say. So now is as good a time as any; limited as it may be." He opened his mouth to speak again but the persistent buzzing from his cellphone distracted his train of thoughts. Reluctantly pulling the device out from his pocket, the change in his expression told her exactly who was on the other line.

Carina smiled tightly, "Answer that, Chuck. Now is as good a time as any." Pushing him aside, she tried to move past him but she was held in place by his arm locking around her waist. She held back a protest, seeing Chuck with the phone pressed to his ear.

Let go, she mouthed to him.

"Hey, Sarah," he spoke into the phone, shaking his head silently at Carina; his eyes pleading for her to understand. "Yeah, Casey told me… uhuh…" he continued, never tearing his eyes away from Carina. "… no, I understand… will be back soon… bye."

Chuck slipped his cellphone back in and wrapped the other arm around her before she could leave.

"Yeah, Chuck," she said flatly, rolling her eyes. "How can I possibly extract myself from your strong grip now."

He didn't know what it was that amused him. Maybe it was her words. Or the way she'd said them. Or maybe it was the need to diffuse the tension; but he started chuckling, thus provoking her annoyance.

"And now he laughs. Great." But it was too late. The amusement had filtered through her eyes despite her irritation. As his laughter died down, he gazed at her, just a moment longer, stretching whatever remaining seconds left before he loosened his hold.

"I have to go," he exhaled reluctantly.

"So go," she said, her voice straining a little.

He wanted to say more. So much that needed explaining.

Instead he slowly released her. "I think someone's spying on us."

"Yup," she said. "A lousy one at that."

A light chuckle emanated from his throat. Then he let out a deflated sigh. "I really have to go."

"You said that already."

"I know," he said, running weary fingers through his hair. "It's really over, Carina. You have to know that."

"Chuck, just go. Don't make Sarah wait too long for you."

Not knowing exactly what she meant by that, he nodded grimly. "Two days. Three days top," his conflicted eyes holding hers a second longer before he left quietly, his head filled with more questions than answers.

"Who's Sarah?" Carina heard Julian's voice behind her moments after Chuck was out of sight.

"Done with your stalking?" she sauntered off without waiting for him, her pace unhurried.

"I wasn't stalking," Julian matched her stride for stride. "I was just worried about my best friend."

"Please, Chuck wouldn't even hurt a fly if he had a choice."

"If he's so harmless, then why are keeping him at arm's length? Clearly you fancy the bloke." He jerked his thumb towards the entrance of the club they'd just passed. "Aren't we going back in?"

"And listen to more of your ridiculous nonsense?"

"Darling," he clucked his tongue, "nonsense by definition is something that doesn't make any sense. Of course it's ridiculous."

"Julian…"

"Hmm?"

"Shut up and just walk."

His silence only lasted exactly one minute. "Are we talking about that pretty blonde who was at my Marisa's wake? Your other best friend these days?"

"You just can't shut it, can you?"

"Asking me a question you already know the answer to is obviously pointless. So, is it?"

His question was met with a wall of silence. And that was enough of an answer for him.

"Are they dating?"

"No."

"Engaged?"

"Nope."

"Married?"

"No."

"So?" he looked at her in confusion. "What's the problem?"

"Who said that there was one?"

"You are acting really strange." He chewed on his bottom lips thoughtfully and suddenly gasped. "You have genuine feelings for him."

"Again," she drawled, "nonsense."

But Julian would have none of that. Her attempts at indifference could have fooled many. Not Julian. He had known her long enough to pick on her tell-tale signs. "Three times I've flown here, on business class I might add, and you didn't tell me anything about it?"

"Are you trying to show off your wealth?"

"Of course, darling. Although it's nothing compared to yours. My bad," he quickly moved to placate her upon seeing that familiar resentment materializing across her features. "I can't believe you're keeping secrets from me."

"I've always kept secrets from you."

"About your job," he retorted. "Not about the men you've been with. The way I see it, you like him. He likes you. I don't see why you're not together already. Aren't you people a little too old to play the 'will you, won't you' game? This is not some television show you know."

"The what game?"

"Oh forget it. He's right by the way." He ignored the annoyed glance she gave him and continued, "You have some serious trust issues."

"In case you haven't noticed, it comes with the job."

"That's a lot of poppycock. You don't get to try that with me. It's not just about the job and you know it."

Looking away, Carina let her gaze drift absently as she seek an excuse to not say anything, waiting for him to fill in the silence. But unlike Chuck, who would let her get away with her usual evasion, Julian had never afforded her with that luxury. And unlike Chuck, she knew that Julian would hound her for a satisfactory answer until he got one.

"It's easier to live this way," she said finally with a slight shrug of her shoulder. "To not get attached to anyone. Not have any expectation. Spares you from having to deal with people."

"Don't you mean spare you from disappointment?" he paused. "Such a lonely existence you've got there."

"People don't live that long in my line of work. Just look at Marisa-" she darted her eyes towards Julian, immediately regretting her thoughtlessness when she saw the cloud of hurt behind his eyes. And just like Carina had always done on so many occasion, she watched as he draped the emotion and replaced it with a vacant stare.

"You want to use her death as an excuse?"

"Julian…"

He regarded her with contemplative gaze, seeing the pained look in her eyes. Sliding an arm under hers, he muttered, "Come on, darling, you're coming to my hotel room and you're gonna tell me all."

"You know I'm not gonna tell you anything."

"And you know I'm doggedly persistent. So now you shut it and come with me," he said, turning her around, and dragged her towards his car.

In spite of her objections, she let herself be coaxed by him; too tired to make for the other direction. Maybe it was what she needed. Time away from their house. It might take her mind off their mission for a while.

It might even allow her to forget about all the possibilities of the next three days.