"It is during our darkest moments that we must focus to see the light." - Aristotle

It's dark and cloudy the next morning, the sky threatening more snow when Rachel finally wakes up. She's disoriented at first, a kind of hazy awareness that something in her room has changed. Rolling onto her side she looks at Noah's sleeping form, her eyes tracing the lines of his face and smiling at the way his mouth pouted in his sleep.

"Watching me sleep is kind of creepy-stalkerish," he whispers, his eyes opening to look at her. He threads his hands through her hair and pulls her closer, humming slightly as he chuckles at the shocked look on her face. "I'm fucking with you, Rach."

"Jerk," she teases, slapping his arm lightly before letting her head rest back against her pillow. The room is silent and while it's not uncomfortable, they both know that it can't last that way for very long. "Kurt and Mercedes are downstairs," she murmurs.

Noah rolls on his side, his head resting against his arm as he looks down at her. "They left over an hour ago," he mumbles, "after they poked their heads in your room and saw the two of us lying in bed together." There is amusement in his tone and he kind of rolls his eyes a bit as he laughs. "I think Kurt pissed himself and Mercedes looked way too proud for her own good."

"Well I'll be getting lots of calls later," she replies, "and I feel horrible. I am such a poor hostess." He presses a small kiss to her forehead, his hands sweeping her hair out of her face as he looks down at her, his brow furrowing in concern.

"Tell me about your nightmares," he whispers, "and why you felt like you had to hide them from me."

She bites her bottom lip as she thinks, her teeth digging into the flesh. When she finally talks her voice is soft, distant. "They started right after the accident," she lets out a small sigh her eyes closing as she thinks. "I felt like I had lost everything and my world was spinning out of control around me. I was so hopeless, so lost and confused, and I was having trouble sleeping anyways." She clears her throat, her mind whirring with thoughts. "One night it all just kind of hit me; Finn was so distant, Kurt was torn between the two of us, and my Dad and Daddy were struggling almost as much as I was. You were the only one who was the same, Noah, the only one who hadn't changed so completely and it terrified me."

A few tears trickle down her cheeks and she opens her eyes, meeting his as she continues. "And even with all the support everyone was giving me, I was scared and I felt alone." She feels the pad of his thumb as he brushes a few of her tears away and a small hiccup escapes her lips. "Back then my dreams were filled with babies crying, the crunch of metal, and the sound of sirens wailing through the air. It was all things that could be attributed to the accident and I figured that they would go away with time and they did."

"My dreams are different now," she lets out a sad sigh, "more abstract and terrifying in so many ways. They always end the same though, with everything around me spinning out of control and me grasping through the darkness desperate for something to hang on to." He reaches down, his hand weaving through the one lying next to her on the bed and she can't help but look up and into his eyes. "They've been happening less frequently though, so the one last night just kind of caught me off guard."

She watches him digest the information, a kind of sadness marring his features. "How come you never told me about these before?" he questions. He squeezes her hand softly as a show of support and even though she doesn't feel like she needs to, she thinks about it.

"Because," Rachel replies, "I didn't want to worry you when it felt like something I was gaining control over." Her thumb runs along the side of his hand as she continues to speak. "It felt like it was something that I needed to concur on my own, as silly as that sounds. It was like if I could get through this then I could get through anything."

"It makes sense," he mumbles, "but I don't like the fact that you kept it from me. We've known each other for quite awhile now, Rach, and I want you to be able to come to me about anything."

"Then the same goes for you," she tells him, "just keep that in mind." There is feistiness in her voice when she speaks the words and she can't help the small smile she shoots his way.

"Deal," he promises shooting her a smirk in return. "Hey Rach," he mutters after a minute, "I'm going to kiss you now, just wanted to tell you."

She can't help the laugh that escapes her mouth as he presses his lips against hers.

#

As a way to make it up to Kurt and Mercedes, she finds herself meeting them at the local mall later that afternoon. It's a few weeks before Christmas and the minute she sees the packed parking lot she regrets her decision. Before she can even contemplate backing out, she gets out of her car and stomps her way through the snow and into the door leading to the food court.

They eat lunch at Panera, letting idle chit-chat and gossip carry the conversation. She knows almost immediately that the two of them are dying to dig deeper about her relationship with Noah and as frustrating as it is, it's also amusing.

"So that was an eventful sleepover," Kurt muses with a crook of his eyebrow and a small smirk. "I didn't know that we were allowed to have boys over as well." She takes a large drink of her lemonade, her cheeks flushing as she shrugs her shoulders in response.

"You two sure looked cozy," Mercedes pries, "almost like it wasn't the first time you'd shared a bed before." Kurt lets out a small squeal and she can't help the amused laugh that escapes her lips or the way she shakes her head in response.

"You guys are too much," she tells them honestly. "I'm not sure what is going on between Noah and me, but I will say that I trust him and he makes me happy." She pauses for just a moment, a small smile on her face as she continues. "I think that's all that really matters."

"The return of Puckleberry," Kurt replies with a clap of his hands, "I'm calling it!" Mercedes lets out a bellowing laugh and Rachel can't help but join in with her, a flush lighting her cheeks. "Now who's up for some shopping?"

#

When she pulls into her driveway a few hours later, she's unsurprised to find a truck parked on the street in front of her house. Carrying her purchases inside, Rachel can't help but let out a small laugh at the man lounging on her couch.

"I swear Puckerman," she jibes as she closes the door behind her, "I'm starting to think you're using me as a way to escape your house over break." She turns just in time to see him rolling his eyes at her and she can't help but stick her tongue out in response.

"My Mom is driving me nuts," he replies, "but I thought that with your Dads being gone and all that you could use some company again tonight." He pauses for just a moment, a wicked smile on his face. "And I wouldn't be sticking that tongue out at me if I were you, Rachel." There's a teasing quality to his tone, one that makes her stop for a second to look at him.

A squeak breaks free from her lips, followed by a laugh, and she drops her bags by the door her feet racing up the stairs. A minute later, she hears his footsteps following her. He catches her at the top of the stairs, his arms wrapping around her waist and tugging her to the ground. "Gotcha," he whispers, his lips brushing against the shell of her ear. She can't help the small shiver that makes its way down her spine.

He has this smug look on his face when she turns to look at him, one that makes her smile as well. "What are you going to do with me now that you've caught me?" she questions, letting her voice quiver a bit on the words for effect. They both know she's playing it up but neither of them really care. He lets out a small hum, pretending to think and she chuckles under her breath.

"So many things," he murmurs, his nose nuzzling the hair by her ear.

#

On Monday afternoon her Dad and Daddy return. She sits on their bed and talks with them while they unload their suitcases. They like to use their unpacking time as a way to talk about things they missed or to chat about their trip and it's kind of become a tradition for the three of them. Rachel listens as they tell her all about their trip to Vegas. Between the shows they saw, their gambling, and their shopping she's almost positive they didn't sleep the entire time they were there. When they finish their stories, she tells them about bowling, about having Kurt and Mercedes over for a sleepover, and about hanging out with Noah.

"So you've finally gotten things resolved between the two of you?" her Daddy questions. Rachel can't help but laugh when her Dad shushes her father, shooting her a sympathetic look.

"Stop being such a mother-hen," her Dad chastises with a cluck of his tongue, "we've been home for an hour and you're already questioning her on the status of her relationships." She can hear the amusement in his voice as he speaks and she can't help but smile in response to the two of them.

"Noah and I are good," she tells them both, shrugging her shoulders, "I think we're better than good actually." She can feel the blush flooding her cheeks and she lets out a small giggle, her hands covering her face.

"You owe me ten dollars, Elijah." She looks up at her Dad a mixture of amazement and shock and can't help the sound that escapes her lips.

"You guys were betting on us?" she questions. It annoys her that her voice doesn't sound more indignant.

"It was pretty obvious," her Dad moves to sit next to her, letting his hand rest against her shoulder, "that there were feelings there. We both saw it, didn't we dear?" She hears her Daddy hum from his closet and she can't help but feel like she's missing something. "When we left on Thursday I merely bet your Daddy that something would happen this weekend between the two of you and" he lets out a dramatic gasp, "I was clearly right." She's obviously been hanging out with Noah too much, because she can't help the eye roll she shoots her Daddy.

"There was something else we wanted to talk to you about," her Daddy prompts. He moves from his closet to sit on the bed beside her, a sad smile on his face. "This being home, not doing anything, it's not good for you honey and your Dad and I are just worried about you." She looks between her Dad and Daddy for a moment, her head nodding in understanding. "Now I know you've been spending time with your friends but my secretary at work is requesting some time off and I thought that you could maybe work some of the hours."

"It's a win-win," her Dad pops into the conversation and she can see the enthusiasm on his face , "you'd make a little bit of extra money for when you go back to school and your father doesn't have to hire a temp over the holiday season."

Their request is reasonable and she knows that they only have her best interest at heart. It's not very often they ask something of her and she hates to turn them down when they do. "Of course, I'd love to," she tells them with a shrug of her shoulders. She tries not to think about what the job will entail.

A special thanks to they loyal readers and reviewers. You guys always make me smile.

Until next time,

N