Hey there guys! Sorry this chapter's a little short and I'm sorry I haven't been posting a whole lot lately but I've been super busy. I've got school, homework, theatre and I'm trying to improve my art skills as well so I've got a lot going on. Anyway, I'm sure if you've read my previous chapters and if you read them early on then you might notice that I used the First Order in a few different things. Well I have recently realized that I go the timeline rather wrong and that basically the earlier version of the First Order were the Amaxines. So I've fixed everything that had to do with that so don't worry. Anyway I hope you enjoy this chapter and don't forget o check out my short stories for certain characters.

Chapter 10

Nutmeg focused. She tried to chase away any thoughts that threatened her concentration. She pinpointed the object in front of her in her mind. In her mind it levitated a few inches off the ground. Through her closed eyes she snuck a quick peek in front of her… and…

Nothing.

Nutmeg threw her arms down in frustration. "Unum I swear that I was able to do it before!" she whined "Why can't I do it now?"

"Nutmeg you need to be patient with yourself." Unum replied. She took a pause. "I really think it would be helpful if you were to tell me more details about what happened when you-"

"Unum I told you I'm not going to talk about it." Nutmeg snarled, anger and grief taking a stab at her heart.

It had been almost a month since Axle had been taken. There had been no sign of him ever since that day on Diversus, not even an indication he was still alive. Nutmeg's grieving was far from over. She still cried every single night before finally drifting into an uneasy sleep. Unum had taken Nutmeg back to Diversus a couple days after she had arrived at the Republic base to get the Shadow and a few other of Nutmeg's crucial possessions then headed back. Now Unum was trying to get her to replicate, or at least replicate a small inkling of what she had done to the scum that had taken Nutmeg's best friend.

"Nutmeg can you just tell me what feelings you were experiencing whe-"

"I am not talking about what happened to Axle!" Nutmeg sobbed her eyes welling with tears. "Especially not to you, the person who thinks that I NEVER SHOULD HAVE LOVED HIM IN THE FIRST PLACE BECAUSE EMOTIONS ARE BAD FOR ME!"

"Nutmeg I-"

"GET OUT!" Nutmeg screamed.

Unum stood up off of the floor of Nutmeg's quarters and left without another word.

"Hi there Nutmeg, my name's Marissa. Now you can take as long as you want. There's no rush but just know that I'm here to help you, not make this any worse."

Nutmeg remained silent, her knees against her chest in the large armchair. She was unwilling to show anyone what she was feeling or thinking especially this stupid counselor that Unum had made her talk to. She was willing to keep her feelings locked up tighter than Cavern's grip on a piece of meat.

After a few moments of silence Marissa decided to continue. "Sweetheart it's not good for you to bottle up your feelings like this. Just let it all out. You'll feel better if you do."

Nutmeg didn't even blink, let alone even think about moving her mouth.

"Alright sweetheart, you're not ready. I understand. For now why don't you just tell me a little about yourself and we can have your parents come in. Where can I find them?" Marissa asked politely.

"Beats me." Nutmeg snorted indignantly.

A look of understanding suddenly crossed Marissa's face. "Oh honey," she started. "Did they leave you behind? Is that why-?"

"What? No." Nutmeg rolled her eyes.

"Oh," "Well where can I find your guardian if you have one?" Marissa asked.

Nutmeg felt pain flash across her face for a second and prayed that Marissa hadn't seen it. "I don't have one." Unum she hardly considered a friend let alone her guardian and Axle w- was gone. No missing, she corrected herself.

"You must be living here with someone. It's not exactly common for a child to live alone in a government facility."

"Unum Ursa."

"Oh yes I know Unum." Marissa exclaimed. "I'll talk with her later. You may go."

Nutmeg got up and walked out tensely. That was complete waste of her time. Did Unum really expect her to say anything to that wretch of a woman?

She calmed herself down. Nutmeg shouldn't be so harsh. Marissa hadn't done anything directly wrong. She was just doing her job even if she did suck at it.

Nutmeg entered her quarters with sigh. All she wanted was for things to go back to normal, but somehow she knew nothing would ever be the same as it was.

Nutmeg sat yet again on the bed her legs crossed. Her eyes were closed and her mind was focused. The image of the small glass marble that layed on the quilt in front of her was perfectly imprinted in her subconscious. In her mind it drifted upwards and in front of her… Nothing.

She flung herself backwards against her pillow in frustration. At least since she was doing this alone this time she wouldn't have to deal with Unum's counseling about how she was "doing it wrong".

Cavern trotted in with his stuffed tooka grasped in his jaws, a clear sign he was in need of some attention. Nutmeg took the toy from his and decided to try and lighten herself up with a bit of play with Cavern. It had been awhile since she had found time to play with him. She waved it in front of his face enticing him. He growled playfully at Nutmeg, crouching down as he did. Cavern then continued to prance around happily trying to capture the toy back from her.

Nutmeg laughed for the first time since Axle had left. She felt a swell of genuine happiness which brought tears to her eyes. She dropped the tooka and embraced Cavern tightly. It wasn't like he could hug her back but at least he was there. Cavern seeming to sense Nutmeg's feelings of sadness and happiness intertwined had begun to lick the tears off of her face only bringing more to her eyes. Nutmeg squeezed him tighter and she knew that he could take it along with much more given massiffs extremely muscley nature. Axle had given Cavern to her when she had turned seven. She had immediately been very fond of Cavern but only now did she realize how much she really loved him. She sighed and wiped the mixture of massiff saliva and tears off of her face and let Cavern go. Nutmeg smiled weakly to herself and grabbed the tooka toy once again.

Unum sat down at her desk chair looking out the window. She had yet again just had Nutmeg explode on her. Why couldn't she understand that Unum was worried about her? Unum did know how it might come off. She had said to Nutmeg once, something she definitely shouldn't have. She had told Nutmeg that the jedi did not believe in personal attachments or anger and grief. While it was true Unum knew that it was the wrong thing to say now at the time it had seemed appropriate. Now Nutmeg hated her.

Genuine concern for the almost nine year old drove Unum to try and make things better for her. Nutmeg needed support from someone other than her choice of pillow to cry into. Axle had been everything to her and now there was more than a good chance he was dead now. Unum knew that Nutmeg wanted nothing to do with confiding in Unum so she had tried to set her up with the base's counselor and frankly that wasn't the only reason. There was a good chance of Nutmeg becoming clinically depressed because not only was she grieving and going through a loss but as far as she was concerned she was doing it alone. She needed someone but Unum could only be there for her if she let her.

Nutmeg was one of those kids that if you upset her or if she's sad or angry or suffering unless you knew what was going on or weren't extremely perceptive you might never know because she tries to bottle everything up. She doesn't want to let anyone see she's suffering unless they already know. Except when you keep everything down and trapped it will over time or in Nutmeg's case not so much over time explode out of you violently and more powerful than ever.

Unum sighed to herself sadly. She really wished that Nutmeg would allow her to try and help. Maybe she just needed time. She wouldn't bring up Axle or whatever had happened on Diversus again. It was probably for the best.

Nutmeg stroked Cavern's head as her eye's skimmed the page of her book. It was the book that she had nearly finished before her time alone on Diversus was over but only now had she found time outside her grieving to actually continue it.

Her focus was suddenly interrupted by the sound of her comn's beep. Who in the Universe could be calling her at this hour? It was nearly midnight standard time.

She hastily closed her bookmarking the page with her finger and picked up.

"Hello?" she said expectantly.

"NUTMEG!?"

The book dropped from her hands and hit the floor with a thud.

"AXLE!?" Nutmeg screamed hysterically.

Nutmeg from the other end heard Axle's own sobs of joy.

The moment lasted only a second.

From Axle's side of the transmission there came footsteps then yells of different men. There was then the sound of a struggle.

"Axle?!" Nutmeg yelled frantically. "Nutmeg! Take care of yourself kid. I don't know when I'll see you again" Axle yelled as the sounds of struggle ensued. "I love you." There was then the sound of a blaster bolt. And the transmission cut out.

"Axle! AXLE!" Nutmeg screamed at the top of her lungs her voice cracking.

Unum suddenly entered her quarters probably hearing Nutmeg's screams. "What's going on?!" She exclaimed.

Nutmeg's chest heaved violently and her whole body shook with each sob. Her comn link was held against her chest as tightly as she could muster.

Unum had rushed over to Nutmeg and gently placed her arms over her, a new gesture on her part. Nutmeg without truly thinking burrowed into her robes.

The next few days continued on without any other sign of Axle, which most likely meant he had either been recaptured or killed.

Things had begun to continue as what was now considered normal again. The only differences now where that Nutmeg found herself thinking more about Axle and she had begun to grow less maliceful towards Unum.

Nutmeg over the next weeks had begun to think about work. After all taking on bounty hunter operations was not new to her and it wouldn't be a bad idea to try to collect some credits. She would need to stick to jobs that the Republic gave her for now because that was her only nearby source of work.

Her first job that she was able to land was to help contribute to a supply run to a Republic fleet in need of ammunition. It hadn't been a very exciting nor well paying job but she had to start off small and work her way up until she gained some credibility first.

The next job that Nutmeg was able to fulfil was as a messenger from one base to another while communications were down. That job had been even more dull than the first and with almost as little pay.

She took a few more dull jobs before she needed a break. Unum had started to try and teach her more about the Force instead of just jumping straight to trying to levitate things. All of it resulted in Nutmeg's break being one of great relief. When she went back to working she would have a supply run waiting for her when she got back but for now she could relax.

It was almost a month until her birthday. She wondered if anyone would even know she was turning nine, not that it mattered but still it would be her first birthday alone.

Nutmeg sat in the captain's seat of the Shadow gazing out at deep space. She debated whether or not she should just stay there on the Shadow alone for awhile or go anywhere specific. She had neglected to figure that out before she left.

Suddenly Nutmeg's comn beeped. She picked it up, disgruntled at her thoughts being interrupted.

"Hello?" she said

"Shadow4?" asked a heavily modulated voice. Shadow4 was the code name she had given herself for missions.

"Yes?" she replied

"There has been a change in scheduling we're going to need you by the end of today on Irus."

Well, so much for her vacation...