Hi guys! So this is a bit more of a serious chapter. It is a bit personal in a way. I have suffered through a PTSD situation before and gone through similar to what Sarah goes through at the end of this chapter.
Emily will be going through the same thing but Sarah and Alison with some help from the other girls will team up to help Emily. However Sarah is going through issues of her own. Next chapter A will be back and Sarah will get her first A message.
Enjoy the chapter guys and don't forget to review :)
"Wait so she just full on jumped away from you?" Hanna says on the phone to Alison. Aria and Spencer are with Hanna listening to the conversation on speaker phone. "Yeah, she freaked out. It was scary, I have never seen Emily so scared in my life." Alison admits quietly trying not to wake up Emily who is asleep on her couch. She changes the subject. "So have you guys spoken to Sarah after what happened?" Alison asks. "No we haven't but we have been trying to call her so we can talk." Aria replies. "We don't know what happened to her either. She freaked out too and Aria just happened to be there." Spencer added. "I watched it all happen, she didn't mean to do it. She was spooked and just reacted." Hanna confessed. "Are you guys still coming around later?" Alison asks on the phone. "Yeah, of course." Aria answers. "We will swing by Sarah's first and pick her up then come to you. Be there in an hour?" Spencer asks. "Yeah, no problems." Alison says before Spencer hangs up her phone.
"Sarah?" Hanna called out as she went to open the door. There was no reply but the door was unlocked. Aria, Spencer and Hanna stepped into the dark cabin. "I don't think she is here." Aria whispers. The girls turn as they hear the bedroom door shut. "Hey guys." Sarah murmurs as she rubs her eyes. She had been sleeping. "Sorry, we didn't mean to wake you but we wanted to talk to you about today before we go see Emily." Spencer says as they all move to the couches. Sarah speaks up first. "I know what you are all going to say, I know I was too harsh and I'm sorry. I was just spaced out and you scared me-." Sarah went to continue but Aria interrupted her. "Sarah, we know, we came to say that it's okay." Aria smiles. Spencer and Hanna do the same. Sarah is surprised. "Really? Normally I would get called a freak or something." Sarah admits. All the girls shake their heads. "Trust us, we know what it's like to be scared of our own shadows sometimes." Spencer says. All the girls stand up. "Wow, thanks guys." Sarah pulls them all in for a hug. "Now come on, let's go see Emily." Hanna hurries us out of the front door. "I'll meet you guys there. I left something inside. I'll just take my bike." Sarah rushes back inside as the others pile into Spencer's car and head to Alison's house.
"Where's Sarah?" Alison asks as the girls walk in. "She is on her way." Hanna confirms. All the girls head into the living room where Emily is awake and lying on the couch. "Hey!" All the girls smile as they make their way over to Emily. They all exchange hugs as they hear Sarah's Kawasaki pull up out the front. Alison heads to the front door and lets Sarah in. They exchange hugs. "Hi Emily." Sarah says as she walks into the living room and joins the rest of the girls. "Glad to see that you are okay." She adds. "Thanks to you." Emily replies. They smile at each other. Emily pulls her phone out and texts using her one free hand. Sarah receives a text. 'I need to talk to you.' Sarah looks over to Emily and nods. Emily goes to stand up but is pushed back down by Alison. "No, no, no babe. You are not moving from this couch." Alison chuckles a bit as Emily tries to argue. "I just want some food! I am more then capable of getting it myself. Besides Sarah can come with me so she can save my life again if I need it." She smirks at Sarah. "Sure." Sarah grabs Emily's free arm and helps her to her feet. They leave the room and head out to the kitchen.
"What's up?" Sarah asks Emily as she starts to cut an apple. "Something happened at the hospital earlier. When Ali came to get me. She touched my ribs and face and it ached like I was in agony. I remembered back to the attack and before I knew it I had jumped away from her like she had punched me again." Emily confessed the earlier event to Sarah. "Em, it's normal. Your body just isn't used to being touched again. You were stuck in that place for a couple of days and the only times you were touched was physically painful. Your mind is associating touching to pain. It's like a minor PTSD symptom but it goes away." Sarah reassures Emily as she places her hand on Emily's good shoulder. "What about you then? I went to touch your scars and you didn't want to be touched. Your kidnap was three years ago." Emily replies. Sarah hears the tinge of anger in Emily's voice. She tightens her grip on her knife. "I was held for eleven days and brought through hell and back. Only not all of me came back. I told you that I lost a part of myself back then. It's still lost now. Being put in a situation like that for so long. It does things to you. It breaks you, your mind, your spirit." Sarah feels the tears rise but she pushes them back. "But we are going through the same thing!" Emily continues. Sarah slams the knife down so it sticks out of the chopping board. "No, we aren't! Do you have nightmares every single time you close your eyes? Do you have anxiety attacks during the day at random times? Do you drink or take pills to numb the pain that is swimming inside your stomach but also to shut everything up in your head? I never stop thinking about those days. I can't It's surged into my brain. Whenever I sleep, I am there. Whenever I am awake, I am there!" Sarah yells back. She noticed that she had let the tears fall. She turns around and wipes the tears away. "Sarah. Don't hide your emotions from everyone." Emily says touching her shoulder. "I am here, I am always here for you and I know that you are so tough and brave to have lived through something like that plus having both your parents die." Emily adds. Sarah turns around and hugs Emily. "I'm sorry, I shouldn't have snapped." Sarah pulls out of the hug. "I'll help you get over your PTSD but it's not something I can do physically. It's all you. It's all mental." Sarah says as she gently pokes her temple. Emily nods. "Thanks." Sarah turns to leave but Emily stops her. "Sarah?" Sarah stops and turns to Emily. "Have you been with someone since your attack?" Sarah shakes her head. "I told you that there are two types of people who go into a crucible, the ones who grow stronger from the experience and survive it, and the ones who surrender and die to stop the hurt but there's a third type. The people who learn to love the fire, they choose to stay in their crucible because it's easier to embrace the pain when it's all they know anymore." Sarah turns and leaves. Emily is stunned by what Sarah said. Was she talking about herself? Emily thought as she walked back out to see the girls. They were stunned too. "What happened? Sarah just left." Alison asks Emily. "She embraced the pain." Emily whispered to herself as the girls patiently waited for an answer.
Sarah opens the door to her cabin and rushes to the bathroom. "Stop!" She yells as she puts her hands on her throbbing temples. She flashes back to her kidnap. She grabs at her sides as she remembers her ribs being broken. She scratches at the base of her throat where the cold edge of the knife was held, touching her skin, cutting into it slightly. Sarah walks into her kitchen and opens one of the cupboards. She grabs a bottle of Vodka from the cupboard and places it on the kitchen counter. She grabs a shot glass and pours the clear liquid in it. She skulls the drink then pours another shot. She calms down as the alcohol numbs her flashbacks.