Alex was on her knees, sobbing as she watched her master hang Olivia from the ceiling by her wrists. She wanted to say something, to beg him not to hurt her, but she knew her words would do her no good. So she stayed silent as her master snaked his hand between Olivia's legs.
He smirked when he saw the look of abject horror on Alex's face. He doubled his efforts, thrusting in and out of Olivia as Alex cried and Olivia tried not to.
"Please," Alex finally whimpered. "Please don't."
He did as she'd asked, then handed Alex the gun. "Fine. Kill her."
Alex screamed and screamed and screamed and the next thing she knew, there was a bullet whizzing toward her –
Alex woke up sweating and shaking, trying to scream, but her voice didn't work and all she could manage was a quiet whimper as tears streaked down her cheeks.
But Olivia was there, smoothing her damp hair back from her forehead and kissing Alex's shoulder blade. "It's okay, baby," she murmured, holding Alex close. "It was just a dream. I'm here."
Alex buried her face in Olivia's shoulder as she wept. She wanted to apologize, but she still couldn't speak.
"Shh, shh," soothed Olivia. "Don't try to talk, baby. Just breathe, okay? Just breathe. Focus, Alex. In, and out. In, and out. Good girl," she added as Alex complied. When Alex's trembling had mostly abated, Olivia kissed her again and asked, "Is there anything I can do for you, Alex?"
Alex looked up at Olivia, her baby blues imploring. And Olivia, Olivia who could always read her so well, understood.
"It's okay, sweetie," she whispered. "I'll hold you as long as you want me to. I'm not going anywhere."
Alex sighed. How could Olivia always tell?
The next day, Olivia invited Alex's parents over. She didn't want to overwhelm Alex, but she knew the Cabots were eager to see her, and she was fairly certain that Alex was eager to see them too.
She prepped them in advance, explaining that Alex wasn't speaking at the moment and not to push her to talk or do anything she didn't want to do, but that seeing them would probably be good for her. "And for us," Mrs. Cabot said.
Alex started to tidy up the apartment, but Olivia stopped her. "Sit down, honey. It's okay. I'll do it."
Alex shook her head, but gave up the fight as Olivia gently sat her down on the couch and started to vacuum the living room.
Alex winced at the noise and pressed her hands over the ears to muffle the sound. Olivia immediately noticed and turned off the vacuum, putting it away and coming to sit beside Alex. "I'm sorry."
Alex rested her head on Olivia's shoulder and Olivia pulled the ADA onto her lap, wrapping her arms around her.
"I love you, sweetie," she whispered, holding Alex tight.
Alex curled into Olivia, loving the warmth and safety she felt in Olivia's embrace. She'd waited so long for this, and part of her still couldn't believe it was real.
Alex flinched and tried to compose herself when she heard the doorbell ring.
"It's okay, baby," murmured Olivia. "It's okay. They're not going to push you to do anything you don't want to do." She brushed a few strands of stray blonde hair back from Alex's face. "They missed you, honey. They want to see you."
Alex nodded and clung to Olivia's hand as they went to the door. Olivia opened it and smiled when she saw Alex's parents.
Alex's mother began to cry when she saw Alex and pulled her daughter into a hug. "My baby," she whispered, stroking Alex's hair and holding her close.
It was almost odd to hear that from her mother, who'd never really been one for huge displays of affection, and Alex wasn't a child anymore. But it felt nice to have her mother hugging her like this and she allowed herself to relax as she felt her father's arms wrap around her too, and his choked up voice saying, "It's good to see you again, Alex."
When her parents finally released her, Olivia gently took Alex's hand and led her to the living room. They sat down across from Alex's parents and Olivia wrapped an arm around Alex and tenderly rubbed her back.
They chatted for a little while – well, Olivia chatted with the Cabots, awkwardly, because Alex was just sitting there, silent. She snuggled close to Olivia because she needed the comfort right now, her parents' voices drifting in and out as she thought back to happier times. To their anniversary, when they'd gone up to Niagara Falls for the weekend. They'd gone out on the Maid of the Mist and Alex had been transfixed by the intoxicating beauty of the Falls. To Alex's birthday, when Olivia had taken her to see Mamma Mia on Broadway; even though Olivia herself hated the show, she knew Alex loved it. To their last summer together, when she and Olivia had gone up to the Cabots' beach house. They'd gone out on the sea-doo and went swimming. Swimming. Alex would never be able to go swimming again. She was too ugly to wear a bathing suit now.
Olivia noticed Alex's body tense and gave her a squeeze, kissing her cheek and murmuring, "Are you okay, honey?"
Alex nodded, sliding closer to Olivia and resting her head on her girlfriend's shoulder.
Olivia threaded her fingers through Alex's hair as she continued her conversation with Alex's parents.
Alex closed her eyes and tried to concentrate on Olivia's gentle fingers instead of the pain that was still coursing through her veins. She wanted to ask Olivia to give her one more painkiller, but she couldn't find the words.
"Alex."
Alex's head snapped up, questioning Olivia with her eyes.
Olivia planted a tender kiss on the crown of her head. "I'm going to heat up some chicken for dinner. Would you like some?"
Alex shook her head, leaning back against Olivia.
Olivia gave her another kiss. "I'll be back in a few minutes, baby. I'm just going to put the chicken in the microwave."
Alex wrapped her arms around herself as Olivia got up. Both of her parents were watching her in concern, and Alex couldn't bring herself to meet their eyes.
Then she felt a hesitant hand resting on the small of her back. She flinched, but then relaxed when she realized it was just her father. She looked up, hoping her eyes conveyed her apology. But her father couldn't read her as well as Olivia could, and he didn't understand. "We missed you, sweetheart," he murmured, rubbing her back.
Alex bowed her head as she felt her mother's warm arms wrap around her. Her parents really did love her, and she wished she could tell them how much this meant to her, but the words stuck in her throat.
She felt immediately guilty, even selfish, when Olivia came back into the room to find the three of them like that, and she saw the flicker of pain flash across the detective's face. It was only there for a few seconds, but then Alex felt bad, because she knew Olivia had never had this; a mother or a father who loved her. Alex had always taken her family for granted. And she knew seeing them like that made Olivia sad.
But she also knew Olivia would deny it, and she wouldn't have said anything even if she could have. Commenting on such a thing was a sure way to stir up trouble, and she knew that. Olivia hated seeming weak.
And once upon a time, so had Alex. Now she was too far gone to even notice, much less than care.
Olivia took Alex's hand and managed a smile. "Dinner's ready. I know you're not hungry, but we'd really like your company."
Alex nodded and followed Olivia into the kitchen. She sat down beside the detective and rested her head on Olivia's shoulder.
Olivia smiled, threading her fingers through Alex's hair. "Why don't you come sit on my other side, honey? I can't eat when you're leaning on this arm."
Alex obediently switched seats and closed her eyes as she leaned against Olivia, glad her parents weren't trying to get her to eat anything. She knew she wouldn't be able to keep anything down.
The evening dragged on and her parents finally left. Alex was exhausted, and she let Olivia half-carry her to the bedroom. She lay down on the bed and went limp as she felt the detective's warm arms wrap around her. The detective kissed her forehead and murmured, "I'm so proud of you, honey."
Alex looked at Olivia, her baby blues questioning.
Olivia understood and gave Alex a gentle squeeze. "You're so brave. So strong. So amazing."
Alex wished she could believe her.
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