Chapter 11 Best Day of the Year

Sucky chapter names, I know...Hopefully the chapter itself isn't as bad! ;)

Enjoy!

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"...'Lena? Ohh, 'Lena?" Who else but Reno?

"Shut!" Came Elena's tired mumble.

There was a snort. "Shut? Shut what, 'Lena?"

Naturally, the first thing she heard from awakening was the sound of his irritating voice. But, wait...Awakening from what?

"Eeek!" Elena bolted upright, her heart pounding a mile a minute. "You, he, and you, and then...Oh crap-"

Reno placed his surprisingly sturdy hands underneath her body to prevent her from fainting again. "Ah ah ah, no more fainting, 'Lena."

Going pale, Elena slapped the redhead's hands away. "Don't touch me with those corrupted paws of yours!!! Your disgusting!"

He beamed at her. "What'd I do this time?"

Elena's fierce brown eyes snapped into his gaze. "Don't act all innocent on me! You know perfectly well what you were doing in that room!"

Surprisingly, the following chortle of laughter came from Tseng, resulting in several stares from each of the Turks. "What?"

"You were...'Kissing', in more polite terms..." Elena continued, turning red and wondering if she really should be discussing this with her superiors.

Reno sighed and ruffled his fiery red mane. "Ya caught me out, 'Lena. I don't know how you knew, but I got a good excuse. It was only once, and only on the cheek. And only when Rufus used the Double Smash on Tseng's stupid elf chick and whooped her fat ass...Literally, hehe."

Elena wasn't sure if she turned red, green, white, or any other colours of the rainbow. Not that it mattered-she felt all the same, nauseous. She should have known, of course, especially being a Turk."You were...Playing a game?"

Rufus shifted uncomfortably in his standing position. "Childish, I know...But, really, we had to let our inner cihld run wild at some point."

Reno nodded. "It was tryin' to escape. Wait a second..."

Reno began to giggle uncontrollably as he realised what Elena was implying. "Yo-You thought we were...We were..."

The crazed laughing wouldn't stop. "Dirty minded child!!! Ahahahaha!"

Everything up to the tips of Elena's ears went bright red with embarrassment. Perhaps it would have been wiser to research into the situation before judging it so critically. Now even Tseng and Rufus were stifling a laugh and concealing a smile.

Determined not to look any more foolish-although really, that was near to impossible now-Elena went on. "What game were you playing? And why was Yuffie here?"

Rufus answered then, after clearing his throat. "Yuffie was caught in a water gun fight with Cid, and got soaking wet. For some unknown reason, she ran up to my office and just...let herself in. Then I gave her some dry clothes and asked her what was going on...And somehow, in the end, it led to her introducing me to this game. Fantasy Dance Pro Version 2.0. Not a bad game, actually. Shame it was only 2 player. Would you...Like a turn? It's alarmingly addictive, though, let me warn you."

Elena was staring blankly now, as if they were all a bunch of high-on-sugar school children. "No, thank you Sir."

Rufus shrugged nonchalantly. "Your loss."

Turning towards Tseng and Reno, Rufus suggested, "Boys? To Seventh Heaven, my treat!"

As expected, Reno's aquamarine eyes lit up cheerfully at the mention of Tifa's bar. "Whoop! Yeah! I call dibs on Tifa!"

The 'Turks' exited the corridor and began to make their way to the carpark, leaving Elena alone again-not the first time that day. "Must be a guy thing." She mumbled, shaking her head and making her way down the staircase-she could use the extra time to be alone with her thoughts.

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Staring blankly into the junk filled cupboard, Rude attempted to search for something a rather obese bird would eat.

Trying his luck, he asked it (unsure of its gender), "Uh, you like bread?"

"I $#^ on bread! SQUAARK!!!" Came the creature's impatient reply.

"Suit yourself you bad beaked pile of..." He mumbled to himself as he threw the contents of the cupboard onto the ground. "Hope Reno likes cleaning..."

"Squark." The colourful bird flew into the loungeroom and underneath the sofa. It looked like it was about to pop. "I want chips."

"And I care...?" The very next moment, a bag of chips whacked into Rude's threateningly darkening face.

"Squark. Yes you do. Squark!" The now very-close-to-getting-murdered bird was beginning to fly circles around Rude's bald head.

"One more word, and I'll-"

"One more word." The bird had perched on top of his head and was now looking down inquisitively at the bald man, who swore he could see Reno's grin forming on its beak.

This must be Reno in disguise. Rude decided with a quick nod.

"Eat your chips. And...Do you like to swim?" He asked, a plan being concocted in his bald little head of his.

"SWIM???!!! NO!!!! SQUAAARK!!!" The bird began to claw at Rude's head, who was now ditching any logical plans and patience and instead going for the simple tactic of fighting. He pulled his gun out-fists were going to be of no help in this fight, and aimed it at the bird's bright red feathered skull.

"Damned vermin!" Rude muttered his battle cry as he shot a bullet at the flying creature, missing its target by less than a centimetre.

This only sent it into a rage, causing it to shoot down the man's stained white shirt, scratching and clawing all the more at his back.

"Ouch! You son of a redheaded bitch!!!" Rude cursed, grabbing the plump murderist that was inside his shirt, before hurling it across the room.

Realising it was headed for the vomit contaminated fish tank, the bird let out its now signature 'Squark', and flew upwards mere millimetres from the rim of it. Satisfied, the rather dumb bird slumped onto his master's soaked sofa, unaware that a pistol was being aimed at its head once again.

I don't give a damn if I'm about to kill Reno's stupid pet. In fact, I'm doing it a favour by killing it quickly before it dies from obesity and disease in this hell-hole. Rude was satisfied with his theory, so he pulled the trigger and...

The front door opened rather casually-Rude was half expecting the newcomer to shout out "Honey, I'm home!". Instead, a familiar redhead was headed for the loungeroom, a forlorn expression on his face, and a mop in his hand.

It must be spring cleaning today. Rude thought sarcastically, the pistol still in his hand-realising it a little too late.

Reno saw the gun and was quick to react."NO!!! DON'T DO IT!!!"

He dropped his mop, dived towards Rude like a cricketer, and knocked the weapon from his grasp, panting heavily.

Rude remained in his same position, looking at Reno with a dumbfound expression on his face. Since when did Reno care so much for a bird?

"Since when do you...gasp, wheeze...kill a person's pet with...gasp, wheeze...out their permission?" Reno was still in a state of shock-now all he needed to do was fall to the ground unconscious and the situation would be a perfect escape route for Rude.

With a knock to the head using Rude's trusty fist, Reno collapsed onto the kitchen floor, and the last thing he saw was a blurred image of legs running past.

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Slumping down onto her soft, cozy queen sized bed, Elena let out a sigh. Whether it was a sigh of relief or a sigh of discontempt, she was unsure. All she could think of for now was getting some rest before the next week of hell-aka work-began.

Her eyelids began to flutter, no longer focusing on anything anymore, but the eternal, comforting peace that was just out of reach. The feeling came closer, until finally, she drifted off to her perfect sanctuary of slumber-the only place she ever felt safe.

Was that a magical unicorn she saw, soaring above her head? Or a field full of butterflies of which she was now standing on? Oh, such happy dreams...

Then the nightmare began. Her field of vision turned red, a picture perfect colour scope before her eyes. The red blended with strange swirls that were now forming, and together they became flickering flames that were becoming greater and greater by the second.

She could have sworn she saw Reno in those flames...

...Was that...The chocobo theme song she heard?

Moaning and covering her head with her feather soft pillow, Elena attempted to block out the painful, torturously cheerful music that was entering her body. Surely, that wasn't her PHS ringing...

After three attempted rings, Elena finally managed to gather up the will power to reach for her PHS on her bedside table.

"Hello?" She mumbled.

"Hello! Is your refrigerator running?" I wonder who?

Beep.

Five attempted rings later...

"Greetings, hero! You have been called upon by Count-"

Beep.

Ten attempted rings later...

"Can I speak to Amanda Huggenkiss?" He had the most cheesiest, most corniest jokes that had ever been-and should never have been-created.

Beep.

One ring later...

"He-"

"Shut the hell up right now before I hunt you down and-"

"Elena?" That wasn't Reno...

Going pale, Elena stammered, "Oh! Tseng, Sir! Yes...Sir?"

"Look, I don't know what you're on about, but I need you to come into work now, please. Is there any particular reason you are an hour late?"

"An hour, Sir? It's only 7am." Elena replied, frowning as she peered over at the clock on her wall to make sure the time was correct.

"It's 8. Daylight savings...Ring a bell?" Tseng sounded quite amused by her.

Elena went from white to red within a split second-luckily no one was there to see. "Oh, of course, Sir! Terribly sorry, I'll be in as soon as possible."

"Thankyou, Elena."

Beep.

The week of hell had already begun.

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"What took ya so long, 'Laney?" Reno with a purple bruise on his face asked the frazzled young woman who had just entered Tseng's office, looking like she had just ran a marathon.

Elena cast an evil glare at the irritating redhead, not bothering to ask how he had recieved the bruise. "Shut up. Oh, and thanks for all those lovely phone calls you sent me this morning, by the way."

"Oh, you-" Reno began, only to be interrupted by a hit on the head from a certain yellow plush toy.

Tseng smirked, a smug look on his usually stern, serious face. "We can't go forgetting the 'Talking Toy' now, can we Reno?"

Punching the chocobo in the happy looking face, Reno replied between gritted teeth, "His name isn't 'Talking Toy', it's 'Dead Toy Walking'. Aka Mr DTW. I'd say your goodbyes now, though, 'cause I don't think he'll be sayin' hello for much longer. At least, not with that beak.

Elena snorted. "Your such a kid, Reno."

To avoid further argument, Tseng continued, "So, Elena. I trust you set your clocks all to the correct time, yes?"

Smiling proudly, Elena nodded. "Yes, Sir, I did. Thankyou for the correction, by the way."

A smothered giggle came from behind Elena. She spun around to face the producer, and of no surprise, found Reno.

"What's so funny? Tell me now." Elena demanded, an angry and determined glare in her eyes.

Still giggling like a 6 year old, Reno managed to answer with a rather satisfied expression on his face as he looked towards Tseng. "April Fools, 'Laney."

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Ah yes, Elena's favourite day of the year. Really, you've gotta feel sorry for the poor girl, having to start the Monday being April Fools-especially having Reno around. But Reno's not the only one she's gonna have to deal with this year...

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