Well, I just found this and realized I hadn't published it yet. I've got another one, too.
This was after Gideon had left - boy, that is such a long time ago, lol.
Anyway, enjoy!
It hurt.
That was the simple truth – what it all came down to in the end. What really mattered. Maybe the old wounds of his father leaving were ripped open again, maybe it was because he had lost a father figure again – it didn't matter. All that mattered is that Gideon was gone, he was not coming back and even more so, he didn't have any reason to be angry at Gideon for doing so. He could understand only too well. He'd struggled himself – hell, they all had. And Gideon was so much older than he was, he had seen so much more it was a miracle he had survived the BAU for so long.
Rationally, he could explain and understand it. He could not blame Gideon for his actions.
But emotionally… he was confused, angry, hurt, disappointed, all in one and he knew that while those feelings were normal, he didn't want to have them.
The bottle of Dilaudid seemed all the more attractive now. Just a little bit and he could forget all of it for the moment…
But he knew he couldn't. He'd made a promise to himself, he owed it to himself and to others. He was not that weak. He had survived his father leaving, he could also survive Gideon leaving.
And he had friends now. The team would be there for him, through their own problems they would help him. Probably not even consciously, but they would try to make him smile and to make him forget about the bad things. It was what they did: he had become used to it by now, and he found himself appreciating the small gestures more and more.
It was just something else he would overcome. He would definitely miss Gideon, miss the fatherly attitude, the games of chess and the subtle suggestions the man gave to everyone. Everybody would miss them.
But eventually he would turn his attention to other things. He wouldn't forget, but he would remember less often.
He was already looking forward to that time.