Was it consensual? Did I even say no? I seemed to remember everything else. Every kiss, every touch, and all the rest. But whether I wanted it or not…I couldn't say. The fact was, that after it happened, we both sat on the floor in the shower gasping for air. Exhausted.
We sat there for a long time, undressed, the hot water pounding down on both of our heads. Afterwards I found myself wrapped up in a white towel, cradling my legs on his sofa. Waiting for him to come out of his bedroom, and finish doing whatever he was doing. I was sipping something that tasted like orange Gatorade. He said it was to re-hydrate me. I would think myself stupid later for taking anything from him.
"Dry yet?", he said casually, walking out from the corridor, wearing nothing but a pair of black trackies, his hair now dry.
"My hairs still damp", I told him. "This stuff tastes pretty good". I felt so comfortable with him now. Like he wouldn't hurt me anymore, now that he had got what he wanted. A grave miss-judgement on my behalf.
"Drink it fast", he commanded, taking his keys from the kitchen bench.
"Why…are we going somewhe…"
"Just drink it", he again commanded.
So I drank. 3 whole glasses. As soon as I had finished the first one, he poured another., and another one after that. It was only at the start of the fourth that I began to feel tired. Really tired, and dizzy.
"What is this?", my speech was slurring, I couldn't think straight.
Mars put a finger to my lips.
"Shh", he whispered. "Its all going to be fine, just let yourself go."
I lazily pushed his hand away, and made a move to get up, but the whole world was spinning. "Please", I said, "I just want to go to bed, I don't feel…", and this is when I felt my legs go from underneath me, and everything went black.
It must have been a freeway. I could feel the road smooth and straight underneath us. The loud rumbling of the truck. That disgusting music bellowing from the stereo. It was hot. I opened my eyes when I fully came around after a few minutes or so. I looked in front of me and sure enough, we were on a freeway, yet the beach was sprawled out a while ahead of us. My window was open, and my hair was fully dry now, the wind picking it up and dropping it. I moved my head slightly to look at the driver. I had a massive migraine. The sun was so bright, I could barely see. I knew it was him though, from his hair and body. I coughed suddenly, alerting him that I was awake.
"Finally, your awake!", he said cheerfully. "You've been asleep for a day and a half!"
I didn't say anything. I couldn't believe that it was a day and a half later. We must have been far from his place then.
"Are you sure your feeling alright?", he said sounding concerned.
"What…where are we going?"
"To my new place! Remember me telling you that I was moving?".
I didn't remember.
"We are going to start a life together, a new start, where no one can find us."
I started to think of the things I would have said to my friends, to my parents, if I'd known I would never see them again.