"I feel sick." Brittany put her hand over her mouth. When she was sure nothing was going to happen, she put it back on her lap. She and Santana were on the way to Susan's Beverly Hills home.
"Do you need to throw up?" Santana kept her hand on the wheel and her eyes on the road. She really didn't want to go to this farce of a reunion dinner and she knew her wife didn't either. Santana needed to figure out a way to get Susan her contacts and work with her only when necessary
"No, I don't think so," Brittany said, "I haven't thrown up in a while. I hope I don't. I hate throwing up."
"We don't have to stay long," Santana said, "Just long enough to repay Quinn and get some brownie points for making nice with a co-worker. If you even want to call her that. All she's done is write a big check and the school is kissing her ass. They're calling her a consultant. It's just all about money."
"This sucks," Brittany said, "I just want to get this over with and go back home and watch a movie."
"You read my mind. We're almost there," Santana said making a turn, "Two minutes."
After the turn, it was only five house in when they spotted Quinn and Sam waiting by their car.
"Hey at least we'll get free food," Quinn joked when Santana and Brittany joined her and Sam at the end of the driveway.
They were startled when they heard someone yell behind them. "HEY!"
The group turned around to see Sugar, Puck, Kurt, Mercedes and Rachel coming towards them.
"Glad you all showed up" Santana said, happy all her friends where here. Well, almost all. "Wait, where are the Changs?"
"Tina called me and said she was sick," Rachel explained, "And Mike is taking care of her. Since this isn't a work function, I can't force her to come."
"Are you kidding?" Kurt huffed, "Lying liars."
"Let's get this over with," Mercedes said. As they walked up the the door, Mercedes turned to Rachel. "So what happened to you at the club? You disappeared most of the night."
Rachel clapped her hands together and smiled. "Well, I met someone. Well, re-met actually."
Brittany scratched her head. "I don't know what that means?"
"His name is Finn Hudson," Rachel said, "Do you guys remember him? He went to college with us."
Santana stopped in her tracks. "Gigantor? You're dating that potato sack?"
Brittany looked at the rest of her friends who clearly didn't remember this Finn guy. "Who is he?"
"Britt," Santana began, "That's that guy you hired to tutor you for English, remember? The one who charged you an insane amount of money to…"
"Oh! I remember!" Brittany chuckled at the memory. "You came and rescued me from being tutored by him. Oh man, I probably wouldn't have graduated if he had….
"Excuse me!" Rachel huffed, "I'll have you know Finn is a great guy. He's not a potato sack, he's a fireman."
Santana laughed. "Well, I am glad to hear he stayed away from anything to do with academics but now I fear for the safety of thousands of Angelenos."
"Shut up Santana," Rachel said.
Once they reached the door, Santana rang the bell.
"I wonder if she cooked or had it catered," Puck said, "And if she carted, who it is cause it better not be Annabelle's Catering. Those bustards suck."
"They're our competition," Sugar explained.
The door opened. "Hi everyone! I'm so glad you could make it." To Susan's credit, she sounded genuinely happy to see them. "Come in."
They all stepped into Susan's house, a house that was twice as big as Santana and Brittany's.
"Wow!" Kurt said, "This is almost as big as Quinn's house."
"Almost," Quinn said smugly.
"Follow me to the dinning room," Susan said as she started walking, "Annabelle's Catering has prepared a great meal."
"I'm not that hungry," Sugar scowled, "I can eat an apple or something."
"Same," Puck groaned.
"Stop acting like babies!" Quinn whispered, "Eat the damn food and stop pouting."
They reached the spacious dinning area which was being set up by two workers. Everything did look lovely and Brittany was starting to feel better. Everyone sat down and were soon served. The conversation was awkward at first but that didn't last long with Rachel and Sugar talking about everything that came to their mind. The food was good, much to Puck and Sugar's displeasure, and the night was proving to be uneventful until Susan brought up the adoption.
"But come on," Susan said, "Do you really need another child? Isn't one enough? Plus you never know with adopted kids, like I said, they could turn out...wrong."
Santana felt like someone had lit a fuse inside her, she was so furious at hearing Susan's words. "We've always wanted a big family," Santana simply said, her tone hard. "And I'd appreciate you staying out of my family business. This adoption... there's nothing wrong with adopting. We're actually flying out soon to meet a girl who wants to give her baby up for adoption."
Everyone at the table gasped, then cheered and congratulated them.
"It's just a talk," Brittany said, "We're just going meet her and see if she likes us." She glared at Susan and wished they hadn't come. Brittany wasn't one to hate anyone, but this woman was very close to being the first person Brittany actually hated. "Susan, you should just not talk about things you don't know about."
"I just don't think I could raise a child as my own and knew it wasn't," Susan said.
Santana wanted to get up and smack Susan.
"My cousin adopted," Mercedes said, seething, "And those kids are every bit his as if he had conceived them."
"What's wrong with you?" Kurt asked Susan, "It's like your brain is missing the sensitivity aspect of humanity."
"Maybe we should talk about something else," Sam suggested, "How about ULA's football team?"
Susan just shrugged her shoulders. The cook came out with another dish.
"Good evening ladies and gentlemen," the chef said, "For our last course, we have a delicious Cajun Red Snapper in a bed of rice."
Brittany got a whiff of the food, and suddenly felt sick. The smell of the fish and spices, turned her stomach. She felt like throwing up. "Uh," Brittany groaned.
"You OK, sweetie?" Santana asked, concerned. Her wife had gone pale and after weeks of morning sickness, Santana recognized that look.
"I think I'm going to throw up," Brittany whispered.
"Where's the bathroom?" Santana asked Susan.
"Is she OK?" Susan asked.
"Where's the bathroom," Santana asked again, impatient.
"There's one down the hall passed the stairs," Susan said.
Brittany put her hand up to cover her mouth. She felt Santana help her up and quickly lead her to the bathroom. That smell. She couldn't get that smell out of her nose. She faintly heard her friends asking if she was OK but she didn't have the energy to reply.
They reached the bathroom and Brittany quickly lifted the toilet seat and threw up. It seemed everything she had eaten that day was now in the toilet bowl.
"It's OK sweetie," Santana said gently, holding Brittany's hair back.
"Oh God," Brittany said, once she was done, "That food just smelled so bad."
"It's just morning sickness," Santana said, "Well, night sickness in your case." She reached over and flushed the toilet.
Brittany stayed on the floor for a bit longer, waiting for the nausea to stop.
"You need to throw up some more?" Santana asked.
"No, no," Brittany said, "I think that's everything." Brittany got up with Santana's help and went to the sink to rinse her mouth.
"Here," Santana said handing Brittany a bottle of mouthwash, "Use this."
Brittany took the bottle and rinsed her mouth, the taste of vomit replaced with the strong minty taste of the mouthwash. "Fuck." Brittany wiped some sweat from her brow. "Can we go home?"
"Let's go," Santana said, reaching up to fix Brittany's hair, "Let's just leave then. She can torture everyone else. I'm sick of her making snide comments about our family. I was trying to keep a civil relationship with her because of work, but fuck her. If the board has an issue with me not kissing Susan's ass, they'll have to deal with it."
Brittany put the cap back on the mouthwash. "You won't get in trouble?"
"I'll talk to Will and some of the other board members individually," Santana sighed, "I'll be fine."
Brittany nodded. "Let's get back to the table. I think I'll be OK. We can stay a bit longer then go. But can you take that plate away?"
"Sure."
The walked back to the table and Santana noticed that Sam had already started eating. He was halfway done.
"Jesus Sam," Santana said, "You're like a fucking vacuum."
"It was getting cold." Sam said, his mouth full, "You OK, Britt?"
"Fine."
Santana immediately removed the dish in front of her wife. Sam stretched his hand and Santana gave it to him.
"Brittany, did the food make you sick?" Susan asked.
"I, uh, I'm fine," Brittany said.
"That catering company you hired obviously doesn't prepare food correctly," Puck said with crossed arms.
"I'm sorry," Brittany said, "I'm sure the fish is delicious but I just can't eat it right now."
"OK," Susan said getting up, "I'll have chef make you some tea."
"Thanks," Brittany said, "Without caffeine."
Susan just nodded and went to the kitchen.
"What's going on?" Quinn asked quietly.
Santana and Brittany looked at each other and silently agreed to tell their friends the news. "Britt is pregnant," Santana said.
"WHAT!?" Kurt shouted, the quickly covered his mouth.
"Shhhhh!" Santana whispered, "Don't say anything. She's about eight weeks along."
"Oh my God!" Mercedes squealed as quietly as she could. "That's amazing."
Brittany wanted to say something but felt that is she spoke, she might throw up again. She really thought her morning sickness was done. She was doing so well but then that fish smell attached her nostrils. "Ugh."
"I thought you were taking a baby break?" Quinn asked, looking very confused.
"It's a long story," Santana said, "One I don't want to get into here."
Susan came back with a hot Chamomile tea and a small plate of crackers. Everyone tried to act natural, they were not doing a great job.
"Thanks," Brittany said, when Susan placed the plate in front of her. This smelled better. She took a sip of the tea, and immediately felt her stomach settle.
"So, tell us more about this adoption." Susan said sitting down.
"No," Santana said in a sharp tone. "You're done talking about my family. It doesn't matter what you think, this is between my wife and me. It doesn't affect you in any way."
"It does," Susan said, "You agreed to help me and by extension ULA. If you're off changing diapers it won't do me much good. Besides you are a gifted writer and you could have been much further along in your career if you hadn't put it on hold to play desperate housewife while Brittany established her own career at your expense. You set back your career years."
"You shut your mouth!" Brittany practically shouted. "Santana wanted to be at home more with our son."
"I'm sure that's what she tells you," Susan smirked.
"Fuck off Susan!" Santana got up, "God, to think I was going to give you chance. You're just as awful as you were in college. Stay out of my life!"
"Alright that's it," Susan said getting up, "I'm not going to sit here and be talked to like this, in my own home. I'm just trying to look out for you Santana but seems you are hell bent on ruining what's left of your career. Feel free to finish your meal, and then see yourselves out. " With that Susan left.
"Well that was fun," Kurt said as he got up.
The chef came into the dinning room. "Are you ready for dessert?"
"Actually, we were just leaving," Brittany said getting up.
"But it's my specialty dessert," the chef said, disappointed.
"Can you wrap it up to go?" Sam asked.
"Uh, sure," he said, "I can wrap up a piece f..."
"No," Sam said, "The whole thing. And wrap up this fish and whatever else you have back there."
"Sam!" Quinn warned.
"Um, OK," the chef answered and went to the kitchen.
"What the hell Sam?" Puck asked, "That's the enemy's food!"
"What? I'm still hungry and I'm not missing out on dessert."
###
"Are you sure you're going to be OK?" Santana asked Brittany through the bathroom door. After leaving Susan's, everyone had gone back Santana and Brittany's house for some answers. Xander was spending the weekend with Nana and Poppa Pierce.
Brittany flushed the toilet after throwing up again. She had arrived home feeling fine, but after 10 minutes, a strong wave of nausea had hit her. "I'll be OK." She went to the sink and began to brush her teeth then opened the door. "Are they still here?"
Santana nodded. "Want me to kick them out?" Brittany shook her head. "Alright, then let's go face the interrogation and get this over with."
When they go back to the living room, the found their friends had opened up all the food containers and had started eating. Brittany's stomach grumbled. "Can you please close that fish box?"
Rachel quickly closed the box. "Sorry Britt. Are you feeling better?"
"A little." Brittany went to sit on the edge of the couch, furthest away from the food. "So I guess you all have questions."
"I certainly do," Rachel said, "I don't quite understand. I thought you were adopting because you couldn't get pregnant and now we find out that you are pregnant and you are still adopting?"
"Yeah," Mercedes added, "I though you guys were on a baby break."
"We were," Santana said, sitting next to her wife, "We did one last insemination before the break." She shrugged her shoulders. "The last one worked."
Brittany nodded. "We didn't even think about the adoption. They told us it could be years so we just didn't think about taking our names off the list. Then Quinn made those calls."
"I…" Quinn got up and paced the room. "I thought I was helping. I mean, you weren't getting pregnant and you were so into this adoption. I wouldn't have got things moving if I had known you already had a baby on the way."
"Quinn, it's OK," Brittany said, "We're going to go ahead with it and meet the girl and see what happens."
Santana gave everyone a small smile. She wasn't 100% sure she even wanted to go met this girl and go through this process but she had promised Brittany she'd have faith. "She may not even pick us."
Quinn sat back down. "I have to admit, I thought you guys jumped the gun on adoption. You only had a handful of failed attempts. Who brought it up?"
Brittany looked at Santana. "I did," she said, "I just…I really thought I just couldn't get pregnant." She took a breath. "When I was in Vietnam, there was this orphanage in the village we were filming and there were so many kids without homes. They were such sweet kids and I thought that maybe we could help a kid without a home."
Santana was speechless. This was the first time she was hearing this and things made more sense. Brittany always had a big heart and it was obvious these kids had affected her. Brittany had mentioned some of the village kids she had met, but she didn't mention they were from an orphanage. "Why…why didn't you tell me those kids you met were from an orphanage?"
"It was just too sad." Brittany shrugged.
Sugar took a sip of her water before speaking. "So you're collecting babies? You're going to be like that crazy Duggard family that has like 20 kids!"
"No, we're not," Brittany protested, "Look, we're just going to go talk to the girl. If she doesn't pick us, then we are removing our names."
"Right," Santana nodded, "There are four other couples who will probably get picked so there's nothing to worry about."
Brittany furrowed her eyebrows and looked at her wife, wondering what Santana meant with that statement. Before she could think too much about it, Rachel got up.
"I don't recommend 20 kids," Rachel said, "It would be entertaining, but chaotic." She grabbed her bag. "I have to go. I have photoshoot tomorrow but I have to thank you for such a dramatic night. It'll really help if I ever book a family drama."
Santana rolled her eyes. "Glad our life can inspire you in your craft."
"Thank you," Rachel said with a smile, missing Santana's sarcasm. She went over to Brittany and hugged her. "Congratulations. Please let me know if there's anything I can do."
"Thanks Rachel," Brittany smiled.
Rachel then hugged Santana much to Santana's annoyance. After Rachel left, the rest of the group fin shied the food and cleaned up. Almost half an hour later, they were all gone. Santana locked the door and turned to her, very tired looking wife. "Should we talk?"
Brittany shook her head. "Yes, but not now." She got up and headed to the bedroom, Santana close behind. "I'm so tired and I want to go to sleep before I throw up again."
Santana sighed. "Fine. Let's go to bed."
###
Early the next morning they got a call from Peter at the agency asking if they could fly to New Mexico tomorrow to meet Janice. They had made a commitment and so agreed to go meet the girl. On the ride there, Brittany finally asked her wife what she had been wondering since that night of the dinner. "Are you hoping she doesn't pick us?"
Santana gripped the wheel and kept her eyes on the road. "What? Why would you ask me that?"
"Because you don't seem as excited about this," Brittany said, "You were really into this adoption idea before I got pregnant. Now, I don't know, it just feels like you don't want this as much."
Santana sighed. She exited the highway and turned right. The GPS informing them that they were only ten minutes away. "I'm here aren't I? I'm driving us to meet this girl to convince her to give us her baby. Why would I do that if I didn't want this?"
"So if Janice says she'll give us her baby, you'd be happy?" Brittany knew Santana often avoided telling her real feelings by answering questions with questions.
"Of course," Santana said, "I'm just trying to be realistic and so should you."
Brittany shook her head. "Maybe we should go back to the airport and go home."
"What?" Santana turned into the street where the girl lived. "Brittany, we're here. We didn't come all this way to not see her."
"You don't want this," Brittany sighed.
"Don't tell me what I want," Santana snapped. She parked the car one house down from Janice's house.
"Then tell me the truth!" Brittany snapped back.
Santana turned off the car, unbuckled her seatbelt and turned to face Brittany. "Fine, you're right. I thought this would be a great idea before you got pregnant. I mean, I was confused why you were so hell bent on adopting but after hearing your story about the orphanage, it makes sense. You should have told me that. But Brittany, you did get pregnant. You're carrying our baby and, like I told you the other night, we should be concentrating on him or her and not trying to convince an irresponsible teen we are good people. So yeah, part of me really hopes she doesn't pick us."
Brittany bit her lip and unbuckled her seatbelt. She kept her voice even and turned to look at her wife. "You should have told me your feelings sooner. You're always saying that I keep things from you and that I shouldn't do that cause we should tell each other everything. That works for you too. I told you I was OK with not adopting. You should have told me you didn't want this when I asked you." Brittany got out of the car and started walking to Janice's house.
Santana leaned back in her seat and let out a frustrated groan. "Fuck!" She got out of the car and followed Brittany. She had hoped to reach her before Janice saw them but no such luck. The teen and her mother greeted them and lead them inside and after a few minutes, the conversation stalled.
"So, uh," Janice had said almost gawking at them, "Sorry. I don't really know any gays."
"Any gays," Santana repeated. She took a calming breath hoping not take out her current frustrations on this girl. She and Brittany were sitting next to each other but it felt like there was a mile between them.
"I mean, I've got nothing against gays, I think it's great!" the young woman said, "I mean love who you want and all, right?"
"Right," Brittany said with a forced smile.
"Don't talk so much Janice," the young woman's mother said, "Don't scare them off. You need to find a good home for this baby, we can't afford it."
"Him! It's not an 'it' Mom!" Janice almost yelled, "It's a him."
"Sorry," the mother had said. She turned to Santana and Brittany who were sitting in front of her, "I almost had a heart attack when she told me she was pregnant. She can't raise this kid, she's 16!"
"We understand," Brittany said gently. She looked at the young girl and found her to be very pretty. If this baby looked like his mother, he would be beautiful. Brittany tried not to picture the baby because she knew she would never meet him. Her wife's words echoed in her mind. She was mad but she knew Santana had a point about concentrating on BPL. They would have two gorgeous babies and maybe a third one was too much right now.
"Do you two not talk to each other much?" Janice asked, "There's like a weird vibe happening here."
"We talk lots. We're just tired from the flight." Brittany reached over and took her wife's hand knocking her purse to the ground. Before Brittany or Santana could lean over to pick it up, Janice was already putting the contents back in the bag. "You don't have…"
"I got it" Janice smiled, "I may be pregnant put I'm still pretty fast." Janice handed Brittany back her bag. "I gotta say that I'm a little excited that celebrities want my baby. I mean, I read your file then Googled you at the library. Can I get your autographs before you go?"
"Uh, yeah, sure," Santana said.
"Awesome!" Janice grinned.
They had spent almost 90 minutes with the teen and her mother and while they were a little out there, they were nice people. Santana was surprised that she had gotten a little attached to the unborn baby. She looked at the rundown house and knew that the young girl and her mother would struggle and the baby would not have a carefree life. That thought mad her sad and she understood a bit more her wife's motivations for adopting.
After the meeting they headed back to the airport for their flight home. There was still tension between them but they wanted to wait until they were home to really talk and not in front of strangers at the airport. As soon as they walked through their front door, Santana's phone rang.
"Hey," Janice greeted, "Sorry for bothering you but I just wanted to tell you you were the least boring couple I met."
"Oh," Santana said, unsure of how to respond, "Uh thanks?"
"I'm just calling cause...I think I want you guys to have this baby."
"Really?" Santana said, frozen in place, "Are you sure? I mean, don't you have to talk to the agency or something?"
"Yeah. I'm calling them tomorrow. I just wanted to give you a heads up." Janice's mother could be heard in the background calling for her. "Gotta go. We'll be in touch."
Brittany had tried to piece together what was going on. From what she could hear it was about the adoption. "Who was that?"
Santana walked to the couch and sat down, putting her phone on the coffee table. "That was Janice. She wanted to give us the heads up."
"About what?"
"She said she's wants us to have her baby."
Brittany began to smile but then quickly stopped when she saw Santana's stoic expression. "I'll call the agency tomorrow and have them talk to Janice so she can give the baby to one of the other couples."
Santana stood up quickly. "What? Why would you do that?"
"We can't adopt this baby if we both don't want him." Brittany stepped close to her wife and took her hands. "I was thinking the whole trip back and you're right. It's too much. What if your publisher sends you on a book tour? What if I have to go back to work for some reason? Or you? School starts soon. It's too much."
"Britt…."
"….But then I think we should go through with it because that'd mean we could just have the big family we wanted, now. And the I think about how much trouble I had getting pregnant that what if I get sick like you did? What if lose BPL and what if…."
"Whoa Bitt, stop!" Santana brought Brittany's hand to her chest. "Don't think like that. That's not going to happen."
"You don't know that," Brittany said softly.
"Yes I do," Santana said firmly, "I do Britt. You are going to be fine, and so is our baby."
Brittany nodded and felt herself calm down at her wife's confidence. "There are four other couples who have probably been waiting years who don't have any kids. "
"What if those couples aren't good enough?" Santana asked, "Janice met them and something made her not chose them."
"So, you want this baby now?" Brittany was confused. She and Santana were all over the place.
Santana covered her face with her hands and groaned. "I don't know. Janice and her mom are in a shitty situation and we can give that baby a good life." She put her hand down and sighed. "I had hoped she wouldn't pick us and now that she has….I don't know what I want."
Brittany pulled Santana into a hug. "I'm sorry we fought. I pushed you to do this."
"No," Santana pulled back and cupped Brittany's face. "I should have told you how I was feeling. You've always wanted a big family and I just wanted to give give that to you. I didn't want you to hate me."
Brittany shook her head. "I could never."
Santana suddenly felt exhausted. "I love you Brittany. I love Xander and all our future kids. We're lucky that we don't have to do everything on our own. We have our friends, our parents and we can get that nanny Quinn keeps trying to make us hire."
"What are you saying?" Brittany needed Santana to want this adoption too. This whole process had caused so much trouble between them that Brittany was starting to regret she ever brought it up.
"I'm not saying no," Santana said, "And nothing is official yet. I'm exhausted and I know you are too so let's go to bed and see how we feel about this in the morning."
"We're done fighting then?"
"Yeah," Santana smiled, "We're done.
###
Santana had been awake since 6 am looking through family pictures. After a night's sleep and the long trip behind her, she thought about the new baby. She turned the page on the album and came across a picture of her Abuela back in her village. Santana smiled and got the sudden urge to call her.
Brittany reached for Santana but was met with empty space. She yawned and slowly open her eyes to see her wife sitting on the bed looking at pictures. "What…are you doing?"
Santana turned to Brittany. "Oh, sorry. I didn't mean to wake you." She lifted the album. "I'm looking at pictures of my Abuela. She had nine children. Nine!"
"I know." Brittany yawned again and sat up. "That's why you have like a hundred cousins. We needed extra tables at our wedding."
Santana laughed. "My grandparents raised nine kids without much money and resources. It's amazing."
"Please don't tell me you want nine kids." Brittany said, slightly panicked.
Santana laughed and shook her head. "No. Looking at these pictures made me realize I was thinking too much. We have more than enough to raise three kids. We always said we'd have at least four so, like you said, why not do it now?" She pushed the album away and moved over to Brittany and laid her head on her wife's stomach. "Little BPL can have two big brothers waiting."
"Are you sure?" Brittany ran her hand through her wife's hair, smiling. "What if I have twins?"
Santana went rigid. "Oh God." When she heard Brittany laugh she relaxed. "Don't even joke about that."
"Sorry," Brittany giggled. "Oh man, my parents are going to be so excited. You know they're already bugging my sister about having kids. I mean, she just got married less than a year ago. I think my dad wants to start a little league team."
"Your dad would," Santana laughed.
"So now what?"
"Now, we wait for the call."
###
Two days later, Peter from the agency called them in to his office. They sat in his office waiting while he dealt with another case.
"Quinn says we can stay at her house if construction gets too noisy," Brittany said.
"The contractor said he'd start next week, right?" Santana asked, shifting in her seat.
"Yup." Brittany looked at the door expecting it to open. Peter wouldn't tell them Janice had chosen them over the phone which she figured was some sort of security thing. She and Santana had spent last night taking out all of Xander's baby clothes and toys out of storage and they had started putting things in their Amazon Wish list to get later. Santana had gotten more excited about the adoption in the last couple of days and Brittany felt like they were going to be just fine.
The door suddenly opened and Peter came in. He sat down and took out two folders. "I'm sorry to keep you waiting."
"That's cool," Brittany said with a smile, "I guess you have some news for us?"
Santana chuckled. "We know already but I guess you have to make it official."
Peter cocked his head a bit. "You know?"
"Janice told us," Santana said, "So what do we sign?"
"I'm sorry," Peter said, shaking his head, "I'm confused. You two seem in a really good mood."
"Duh," Brittany said, "Why wouldn't we be? So anyway, is there more paperwork?"
"No," Peter said gently, "The reason we wanted to meet with you is because there has been a development with the adoption."
"Development?" Brittany asked.
Santana didn't like the tone of Peter's voice.
"Janice...Janice chose one of the other couples," Peter said, "I don't know what she told you but there must have been a misunderstanding.
"What?" Brittany shook her head and leaned back in her seat. "No, she told us she chose us."
"When did she decide?" Santana asked.
Peter smiled softly. "The day after you met with her."
"But why?" Brittany said, her voice cracking. They were getting things ready, Brittany couldn't believe this was happening. Santana reached out and took her hand.
Santana clenched her jaw and shook her head. She had let herself think this was going to work. This is the kind of thing she didn't want to happen. She had read many articles on people waiting to adopt a baby only to have that dream dashed at the last minute. She felt a mixture of sadness and anger all at once. "Fuck"
"I'm sorry," Peter said again, "Not that this is any help, but it happens. This happens more times than you think."
"So just like that, we lose the baby," Santana said, wiping away a tear. This is what she wanted, right? She had hoped Janice wouldn't pick them and now she got exactly what she thought she wanted. They why do I feel so sad, she wondered.
"We placed your names back on the list and hopefully you'll get another..."
"No, no," Santana interrupted, "We're not doing this again."
Brittany took a shaky breath and rubbed her eyes. "No. Don't put our names back…" She was so sad for losing something she never had but she had to be strong.
"I know you had hoped for a newborn," Peter said, "But there are many kids, already born, who need a family. They might be a little older, but..."
"I can't," Santana said, her voice shaky, "We're done." She got up and began to walk around the office.
"Did she say why?" Brittany asked, "Did we do something wrong?"
"She said that she read in your file again and that you already had a son," Peter explained, "She also mentioned something about baby vitamins in a purse and that probably meant a baby. I'm not entirely sure what she meant by that."
Brittany thought back to the day at Janice's house and how the teen had picked up her purse. She had her prenatal vitamins in there. "Oh."
Peter continued. "She said you were great people, but after thinking about it, it didn't feel right. I'm sorry. The couple she chose didn't have any children. They have been on the list for almost two years."
"Two years," Brittany repeated softly, "Are they good people?"
Petter nodded. "They are."
"Good," Brittany said with a teary smile.
Peter got up. "I'll leave you two alone for a bit. I'll take your names off the list but if you change your mind, let me know. I am truly sorry things turned out like this."
Santana stayed silent and continued to pace. Brittany thanked Peter as he left.
"At least they're good people," Brittany said.
"How the fuck do you call someone, tell them you are giving them your baby then change your mind?" Santana practically shouted. "What kind of cruel joke is that?"
"Santana…"
"No Britt! She played us. I bet she just did that so we'd give her our autographs which she is probably going to sell online now. We got played!"
Brittany got up and stopped Santana from pacing. "She got our autographs before she told us. I know you're sad, I'm sad too…"
"I'm pissed!"
"And sad."
Santana sighed. "Fine. I'm sad too."
"The baby is going to a couple who have been waiting years to be parents," Brittany said, "I'm sad but at the same time, I'm happy for that couple. We cut in line Santana."
Santana crossed her arms. The more Brittany talked the more her anger subsided. "She told us…"
"We cheated and got on the list before we were supposed to." Brittany was slowly accepting what the universe had handed them. They weren't meant to have this baby. "We cheated and cheating is never good."
Santana shook her head and smiled despite herself. "How are you so mature about this?"
"Because," Brittany said, putting her arms around Santana's neck, "We have a son and in seven months, we are going to have another baby. And when we go for baby number 3, we won't rush in to things."
"I just," Santana began as she put her hand on Brittany's waist, "I just didn't realize I wanted this baby until now."
"I know honey." Brittany took her wife's hand and walked to the door. "Let's go to lunch and talk. I'm craving a Brittany Special."
Santana stopped and turned Brittany around. "I'm sorry this happened. I know how much you wanted to adopt."
"I did, but it's not meant to be right now," Brittany said, "In a few years, maybe we can try again."
"In a few years," Santana said.
-tbc-