Part 11: Fear and Anguish

Dixon knocked softly on the door and opened it to find John in same position she had left him almost an hour before. Chair pulled up closely to the bedside with him bent over with her limp hand in both of his. His head was bowed as if in prayer.

Physically, the doctor assured him that she would recover but he had warned that such a violent attack could leave other non-visible scars that could have lasting effects.

John had been torn between leaving her side and going out to find her attacker but in the end, his love for Margaret overwhelmed his hatred and would not allow him to leave her side.

"Sir, Higgins and Constable Mason are here to see you. And your mother, she still waits to talk to you…"

John craned his head up and turning it slightly towards her, "Let her wait. Dixon will you sit with her while I go?"

Dixon nodded in approval at him letting his mother wait. When she had shown up at their residence it took everything in her to not slam the door in her face. If it weren't for her upsetting her mistress this couldn't have happened. Dixon hated the woman for so many reasons and even though her mistress never confirmed it she was sure she caused her mother's wedding dress to be ruined.

And that Fanny! Miss Margaret had the patience of a saint. But as for herself, putting up with those two would have been a deal breaker in any union with any man.

As Dixon entered the room to see Mr. Thornton draw up her mistress's hand and kiss it tenderly and gently laying it down; well, he loved her a whole lot and it reminded her of the love that her parents had for each other. One could put up with quite a bit for a love like that. But that Mrs. Thornton…

John rose from the chair, "Let me know immediately if she wakes."

"Yes sir. I'll not take my eyes off of her not for a second."

John glanced at Margaret; her long beautiful hair free of all the pins framed her pale facial features in the dim light. He almost lost her forever. There was nothing he wanted to do more than to lay down by her side and bury his face in her long tresses and feel her warmth and steady breathing to further assure him that he didn't lose her.

She was safe now and the need to find who did this to her started to rule his mind.

He put a hand on Dixon's shoulder as she sat down, "Thank you Dixon."

He reluctantly left the room only to find his mother waiting at the top of the stairway, "John, how is she?"

His anger resurfaced, "As if you cared mother. Go back home."

She grabbed his arm stopping him dead, "John, I did it. I ruined the dress, I'd admit it to you now and know it was wrong but I never wanted her to be harmed like this. I know you blame me for this but I never wanted her to be harmed…"

"Mother stop."

John's hand flew up to his forehead and began to rub it in frustration. He glanced at his mother's pleading face. He didn't know what to believe where she is concern but Margaret's words echoed in his head, "I watched you two grow further and further apart and it is the last thing I ever wanted. I wish now that I never told you."

He sighed deeply and calmly he said, "I blame myself. I can't talk about this now. I must go." He detached himself from her grip and walked stiffly away from her.

Hannah couldn't believe it. John's words to her about blame almost mirrored his father's last words to her that day he had killed himself. A deep shiver ran through her. If Miss Hale had been killed tonight, would John have ended up like his father?

Earlier, she had barely gained entrance to find her son on the ground level pacing absently around not knowing what to do. He didn't notice her presence as his thoughts were occupied solely on the unconscious woman upstairs being examined by the doctor.

Hannah went to comfort him but found Dixon blocking her path with crossed defiant arms telling her to stand back or leave. Hannah saw the seriousness in the stout woman's face and froze and remained quiet.

But she could see John in the room clearly. Seeing the way he was when the doctor was upstairs spoke of his deep love for Miss Hale. She never saw him like this.

His face was a mixture of frantic concern and anguish. He kept mumbling that she could have been killed and what would he do without her. Hannah could tell that he was teetering on the edge of losing emotional control.

When he heard the door open to Margaret's room he flew up the stairs two at a time to speak to the exiting doctor. Dixon followed motioning her to not follow. Hannah found herself sitting in a chair in the entranceway.

That had been an hour ago with no sign of John.

Dixon had come down to show the doctor out and kept a watchful eye over the unwelcome guest showing no regard for her until she reluctantly offered her tea to break the awkward silence.

Sitting in that chair Hannah spent that time reflecting on her actions over the past months and wondering what John would have done if Miss Hale had been killed.

Would John have been beyond devastation to not want to live without her? Hannah was led to believe that it was very possible. Hannah hoped and prayed that she would never find out.

Miss Hale was his life line and what had she been trying to do? Sever that life line.

Could she live though losing John?

When Mason and Higgin's showed up at the door and Dixon went up stairs to inform John of them waiting. Hannah followed behind her refusing to be put off by the protective woman any further.

After their brief meeting John left her leaving her at the top of the stairs.

She heard John's voice speaking to the two men who came a few moments previously. Normally she would be right by his side and included in every aspect of the investigation. She would have been the one that reassured him and…

Then it occurred to her as tears formed in her eyes. That she had already did lose him. And it was all her own doing.

John walked into the room to see a clearly concerned Higgins standing with cap in hand nervously twisting it, "Master, Miss Margaret…"

"Resting Higgins. She has yet to wake but doctor said she will recover." John held his hand out to the other man in the room, "Mason."

Taking the hand offered, "Sir I am deeply sorry for what the young lady gone through. We got men immediately on the investigation and asking if people saw or heard anything. I was hoping to speak to Miss Hale but since she is resting, I will ask you what you know."

John nodded and proceeded to go over the details of what had occurred just hours ago, "I regret it isn't much as I came upon Miss Hale after her assailant had vanished."

"Hopefully the miss can give us more details about her attacker."

"In that regard Mason, I will question her being I am closer to her." John also didn't want Margaret to be reminded of Mason questioning her about the Leonard's inquiry.

"I understand sir."

"I'll let you know what I find out but in the meantime, I want to be kept informed of everything."

Mason nodded, "A sack was found that we believed was used. It had holes cut out where the eyes and month would have been. There was also some of the Miss Hale's blood on it."

John gritted his teeth. He managed to control his wrath and settled to questioned more about where the mask was found and footprints etc. As Mason answered assuring him that they would not rest until the coward was identified and brought to justice.

"Mr. Thornton, can I ask you, does Miss Hale have anyone who might want to harm her?"

Higgins piped in, "No one could ever want to harm Miss Margaret."

John immediately thought of his mother but had to agree on the most part with Higgins answer.

"And you sir? Anyone who has it out for you?"

John hated the thought of Margaret being attacked by someone who sought revenge against him. He had enemies but for them to stoop to such cowardly actions against a woman was just so unbelievable. He was sure it was just a random act but he gave names of business associates as well as past workers that may wish him harm.

Mason left leaving Higgins and him in the room alone. The strain of the past few hours was etched painfully on the tall man's face.

"Master, sit."

"Higgin's you don't have to call me master anymore especially when not at the factory. We are to be on equal footing."

"Alright, Mr. Thornton sir. Sit."

John's lip curled up briefly at the new address and to Higgins surprised, John complied and sat in the nearest chair. He was obviously too exhausted to spar over proper addresses with him.

Higgins then poured him a deep glass of brandy and handed it to him, "Drink up and don't worry. If I know anything about Miss Margaret, she is a strong one. Full of strength in that small frame of hers; she keeps a cool head about her that one."

John's head dropped and shook his head, "Higgins if you could have seen how terrified she was; what he did to her..." John put the untouched drink on the table and covered his eyes with his hand and his body began to shake with a sudden release of powerful emotions. He looked up at his friend with moistened eyes, "She came so close to being killed. Higgins without her I…I..." His head dropped again; he couldn't finish the thought.

Higgins put his hand on his shoulder not knowing what to say for that moment. He waited until John got control of his emotions then he asked on how she came to be out in the dark alone.

It was then that John told him everything about his mother and Margaret, the cottage, the dress and the argument at dinner. Everything.

"I wish you would have told me all this sooner as your friend, it would have done you good to unburden yourself."

John nodded, "Unfortunately for me, I am unused to having friends Higgins. Thank you for your friendship. It is the best besides Margaret's father that I have had."

"So are you going to drink that good brandy or must I for you?"

John grinned and gave the glass to Higgins and stood up and poured himself another glass and both men raised their glasses to their lips with Higgin's blurting out, "For medicinal purposes."

John down it two gulps and let the alcohol shock his system and spread renewed energy and warmth through him.

At that moment Dixon came running in, "Sir, she is waking."

John dropped the glass shattering it on the floor as he shot out the door leaving a stunned Higgins and frowning Dixon in his wake.

Margaret felt herself screaming loudly but not heard as she watched as a hooded man plunged the double bladed knife in John's back. John shouted out her name and crumpled to the ground. She couldn't move…couldn't go to him. The man kept stabbing and stabbing with a wicked laugh emulating from under the hood. John! John!

Then he started to slowly approach her with knife raised but all she could see was John's lifeless body. She had to get to him but she couldn't and slowly the sinister man approached her. She didn't care. Not without John. John!

Head tossing from side to side she screamed out his name.

"Maggie. I'm here! Open your eyes. I'm here."

Her eyes fluttered and slowly she focused on his striking blue eyes just inches from hers as he sat on the edge of the bed with one arm on her other side and his hand touching her feverous brow.

"John!" Her arms went around his neck and she buried her face in his chest and started to cry with relief.

His hand moved to the back of her head and fingers threaded in her silky hair as his lips kiss the top of her forehead and lingered. His voice was heavy with emotion but strong as he soothed her with words of love and tenderness.

He let her cry; glad for her healing release of tears on his breast; and after a while her crying turned to sobs and then a few minutes later she just clung to him in silence.

Thinking of her wounded throat and how painful it must be, "Margaret, take some water. Here drink."

She looked up to his face and he caught her beautiful eyes with his as he held the glass to her lips and sipped. Higgin's was right. What he saw was strength. He lowered the glass and kissed her lips gently in its place. Her smooth soft lips moved with his and the both found comfort in the union.

Raising his mouth from hers he whispered, "Better?"

She nodded and he gently pressed her head back to his chest choosing his next words carefully, "Can you talk about it Margaret." He gingerly laid a finger on the bandage wrapped around her neck, "Are you able to talk without pain?"

Her voice was barely audible, "Yes John, I can talk."

He pulled her closer into his arms and cradled her head back so he could look into her face to see the truth in her statement. He saw a determination written all over her still ashen features, "Can you tell me what happened? Let me know if you need to stop."

"He…he wanted to rob me. I had nothing but he didn't believe me and…threatened me. That is all John. I'll be fine John."

At that she started to move to get up but he strengthened his hold on her, "You're staying here with me. I'll not let you get up." He waited until she gave in and he questioned, "Did you see the man who attacked you?"

"No, he wore a sack with holes."

"Can you tell me anything Margaret about him?"

She shook her head and she stuttered out meekly, "It was so dark John and he…he barely spoke." Her eyes shifted away and couldn't meet his.

"Margaret?"

"He smelled very bad."

At least that was true. She couldn't control the tears welling up in her eyes. She hated lying to John. It went against every fiber of her being. But the nightmare of John being stabbed was so fresh on her mind and the moment she woke she knew she couldn't ignore the man's threats.

"Margaret. You're not telling me something."

"John, what more do you want me to tell you? That is all I remember. Please can I have more water?"

He immediately picked up the glass and offered it to her. Her eyes still avoided his as she took the glass.

He studied her and came to a conclusion rather quickly.

"You're lying Margaret." He accused calmly.

Margaret said nothing and rose up in his arms and put the glass on the table. If she was offended by his statement she gave no impression that she was. Instead she chose to lie back down on the bed and turn sideways with her back to him, "John, I am tired. Please can we talk about this tomorrow?"

"You just confirmed my suspicions Margaret." He reached down and pulled the cover up and over her with his hand lingering on her shoulder.

Bending closer over her form he brushed some of her hair from her face, "Remember, I know that you spoke falsely when protecting your brother. Who are you protecting this time?" He bent down closer to her ear and whispered, "Luckily for me, you're a terrible liar. You fooled Mason about Leonards but you can't fool me." He kissed her cheek, "Sleep now. I'll not leave your side."

"I want you to go John."

She'll have to leave him. He couldn't be there when she did. Dixon, she had to speak to Dixon. Where's Dixon? Her mind raced under her calm exterior.

"I won't. Go to sleep Margaret."

He then got up from the side of the bed and pulled up the chair and sat in it and crossed his arms not letting his eyes leave her still form.

He knew who she was protecting and love swelled up in him and over flowed. The nightmare, her calling frantically for him and her reaction when she woke to find him there; he knew she was protecting him.

Whoever harmed her must have threatened him harm if she told. Somehow he knew that if it was her that this monster threatened, she would have told him and everybody else everything. He knew her. She cared not for herself but for everyone else.

It terrified him that she was so self-sacrificing. Just look what she went through for her brother and now for him with his mother. She was the most unselfish and remarkable woman; and she chose him. His eyes began to blur as they moistened.

"John?" Her soft voice drew him out of his thoughts. She still had her back to him and did not move.

"Yes."

"I'm glad you stayed." There was a brief pause and she added, "I love you."

He grinned and allowed a sigh to escape him, "I love you my Maggie." Soon her breathing became slowed and she slept.

He knew what he had to do. No grand ceremony and no more waiting.