A/N: Chapter 11! :D I really hope you enjoy it!!! Lol, it gets slightly less depressing as the chapter goes on.
Thanks for reading!!! Review very much appreciated!!! :D
Chapter 11: Falling Too Hard
The next day, Mai was once again surprised how easily Natsuki got up.
"We'll are we going or what?" Natsuki asked, combing her hair quickly. Mai glanced at the clock. It was 7:35, making this the second day Natsuki had actually gotten up on time.
"Natsuki?" Mai asked, raising her eyebrows in shock. "A..are you feeling okay?"
"Tired." Natsuki replied, turning to face her friend. "Is something wrong?" She asked throwing her comb blindly. There was a small bang as it slammed into the wall by her bed. Natsuki winced, she'd get it later.
Mai and Chie exchanged concerned looks. Nao raised her eyebrows as she walked out of the bathroom.
"You don't think... a shape shifter..." Chie started, whispering to Mai.
"Hey!" Natsuki yelled, glaring. Chie and Mai lost all color in their faces, much to Natsuki's satisfaction. She wasn't that bad at getting up. Shouldn't they be glad I'm not making them late?
"Nope it's her." Mai grinned. "You know anyone else who can glare like that?"
Natsuki and Nao exchanged a small smirk. Chie shook her head. "Yeah, good point."
"Can we go now?" Natsuki asked impatiently, watching Mai grab her books.
"In a hurry are we?" Chie grinned, winking to Natsuki from across the room. Natsuki blushed, glaring. Just because she was getting up early did not mean it was so she could see Shizuru.
"No." Natsuki said firmly. "I'm just hungry."
"I bet you are." Chie grinned, stopping when she saw Mai and Nao looking at her strangely. "What?" she laughed sheepishly. "I'm hungry too."
Natsuki groaned holding the door open for her friends. Together the four girls made their way to the cafeteria.
As soon as they got through the door Natsuki glanced over at Shizuru's table. She couldn't help but feel disappointed when she saw Shizuru and her friends already there.
Natsuki quickly pretended like she hadn't even noticed and walked over to get her food. She felt like a baka. What are you a stalker? You shouldn't care where she sits. Natsuki quickly got her usual breakfast and walked over to her table. She was careful not to look over as she walked back.
Shizuru glanced up smiling when she saw Natsuki walking over. She waited patiently for the younger girl to say hello, but Natsuki never looked her way. She felt her chest tighten involuntarily. She wasn't used to being unnoticed. A..ara. Did Natsuki not see me?
Natsuki found it surprisingly hard not to look over. She purposefully sat with her back to their table,decidingthat if she could somehow ignore Shizuru she could ignore her feelings too. Just pretend she's not there. You have your own friends, and she has hers. What was the point of feeling this way if nothing could ever happen?
And how exactly do you feel about her? Natsuki asked herself. She sighed, picking up her fork and starting to eat. I never knew how complicated things like this could be.
Shizuru waited patiently for Natsuki to turn around.
She never did. Shizuru continued eating her food, nodding mindlessly to something Yukino was saying. She laughed periodically for effect, her eyes continually drifting back to the navy haired girl at the table across from her.
Natsuki heard Shizuru laugh. Just don't look. You can't get too close or this will never go away. Shizuru can only ever be your friend. Were they even friends? Shizuru had so many... was Natsuki any different from one of her fans?
Of course she's not looking at me. Shizuru told herself. Why would she? Shizuru hesitated, putting down her fork quietly. She suddenly didn't think she was in the mood to finish eating. Maybe... Shizuru let out a deep breath, calming herself down. ...Maybe if things were always like this it would be for the best. She can never feel for me the way I do for her. Perhaps... if I distance myself things wouldn't be so difficult.
When the warning bell rang Shizuru quickly gathered her books up. She waited for her friend, trying not to watch as Natsuki got up and turned around.
For a second their eyes met, both girl's eyes widening in shock. Natsuki and Shizuru both averted their gaze quickly, pretending nothing had ever happened.
Pretend like nothing is wrong, or she'll know some thing's up. Natsuki silently chanted.
Don't get attached. You have no right. Shizuru reminded herself, walking out quickly with her friends.
"Good morning." Shizuru smiled to a group of grade nine girls in the corner.
"Sh...Shizuru-sama." Some of them stuttered, blushing. Shizuru looked down at one of them, her hair a lighter blue then Natsuki's.
"Have a nice day." Shizuru smiled, emphasizing her accent for the younger girl. The girl blushed madly, and Shizuru walked over to join Haruka.
"What was that about?" Haruka asked, raising her eyebrows.
"Just being pleasant." Shizuru smiled, walking out the doors. See, that wasn't so hard was it? There are plenty of other people in the world.
Natsuki paused, having witnessed the display. W..what was Shizuru doing? Natsuki glanced back over at the girls, who were still blushing madly. Her stomach clenched dangerously tight. It's fine Natsuki. She told herself firmly. She can do what she wants to. You shouldn't care. Natsuki walked out the door like nothing was wrong, cursing silently.
Lunch was the same. Both girls pretended not to see each other. Both girls were equally hurt the other one didn't notice.
Even lock picking didn't help Natsuki's mood and she could hardly sit through science class when it came around. Shizuru hadn't looked at her once all through lunch. What does that tell you? Natsuki asked herself. There was no way it could ever happen.
The bell rang suddenly startling Natsuki into snapping out of it. Her stomach tightened even more when she started the quick walk to their powers class.
"Are you okay Natsuki?" Mai asked. "What are you so worried about?"
Natsuki blushed, glaring. Some times it sucked to have an empath as a friend. "I..I don't get the math." Natsuki lied quickly. Well... that part wasn't a lie... it just wasn't exactly the cause of her distress.
"Oh, yeah, me neither." Mai laughed. "I'll figure it out later." Natsuki nodded, stopping when she walked up to the doorway. Trying not to show her hesitation, Natsuki walked in quickly, making her way to the change room.
She quickly dropped her bag and started getting dressed careful not to look over at the corner where Shizuru was almost sure to be.
Shizuru watched as Natsuki walked in, quickly turning around. Don't look. Shizuru told herself, breathing deeply. This probably wouldn't be such a problem if you weren't so physically attracted. Shizuru finished putting on her shirt and walked out, staring at the wall to her right as she walked past Natsuki.
Natsuki saw Shizuru leave, not even glancing her way. She quickly put her shirt on, trying to stay collected. Baka. It's not like Shizuru looks at you the same way. What did you expect?
Even Chie was a little surprised when Shizuru left without glancing Natsuki's way. She decided not to say anything to Natsuki. No need to worry the navy haired girl.
Natsuki waited for her friends, not wanting to sit by herself. When they finally sat down, Natsuki made sure it was far away from Shizuru. At least this way she could tell herself she was just too far away for Shizuru to notice her.
Shizuru watched quietly as Natsuki sat father away from her then she usually did, laughing at something her friend had said. She looked away quickly, biting her lower lip.
"Hello again." Midori waved happily as she walked in. She took a sip of her water and cleared her throat before continuing. "No power sparring today guys. Especially after the mess you guys left yesterday." She grinned, turning to Kaito. "Next time..." She told him. "...we're putting down paper first." Kaito grinned, nodding sheepishly.
Midori laughed. "Okay, now that we've gotten that out of the way, you can get back together with your partner and continue where you left off."
Natsuki got up nervously, glancing past the crowd to see where Shizuru was.
Shizuru walked slowly over to Natsuki, trying her best to appear normal. Stay detached She reminded herself. At least Natsuki wouldn't have to ask her about power sparring for a while.
"What are we doing today?" Natsuki asked.
Shizuru inhaled sharply. Did Natsuki know it was the first time she had spoken to her all day? "I think we should continue where we left off." Shizuru said after a moment, watching as Reito and Mai walked past. Without waiting for Natsuki she starting walking over to their area.
Natsuki blushed, not really knowing why. That was the first time she spoke to me all day. Usually Shizuru had talked to her at least once before now.
Natsuki quickly walked after Shizuru. "You want me to attack you again?" She asked quickly. She desperately wanted Shizuru's attention, even if that meant asking questions she already knew the answer to.
"Yes." Shizuru smiled quickly, getting into her defensive stance. Natsuki took a deep breath, getting into her stance.
It...it's almost like she's ignoring me. Natsuki thought to herself. She started her attack, going through all the motions, but finding it very hard to concentrate. Natsuki noticed Shizuru, once again, had no trouble blocking everything Natsuki threw at her. Shizuru never has trouble concentrating around me. She told herself bitterly.
Natsuki threw everything she had into the attack, hoping to at least get some reaction out of Shizuru. She picked up her speed, through she could feel herself wearing out quickly.
Shizuru could tell Natsuki was pushing herself. She found it extremely hard to focus on the attack and not on the girl delivering it. Natsuki hadn't said another word to her after the first two minutes of class.
The only time Shizuru talked to Natsuki was to correct her form or to warn her to keep proper balance.
Natsuki blushed when ever she did. She pushed herself harder, trying to get something resembling praise from the older girl.
"Great job girls." Midori grinned at them when she walked around the classroom. "You two seem to take this very seriously."
Natsuki and Shizuru turned to look at each other before muttering their thanks. Wordlessly they continued, each getting increasingly worried.
By the time Midori told everyone to pack up, both girls were physically and emotionally exhausted.
"Natsuki." Shizuru called before Natsuki walked away. She didn't think she could stand it if Natsuki continued ignoring her. Natsuki turned around hopefully.
"You did very well today." Shizuru smiled, searching for any hint of emotion on the younger girl's face. Natsuki's heart sank. That was all Shizuru had wanted to say? Everyone said that sort of thing to their partner.
"Thanks." Natsuki replied, turning and quickly walking to the change room.
Shizuru felt almost as if she'd been stabbed. She numbly walked to the change room, wanting out of the class as quickly as possible. Why doesn't she look me in the eyes anymore?
Both girls left wordlessly with their friends. Natsuki insisted to Mai that nothing was wrong and they started walking back to their dorm.
The next day played out in a similar manor. Natsuki got up early again, hoping Shizuru would be able to sit with her. Everything had been so perfect two days before. By the time Natsuki and her friends got to the cafeteria Shizuru and her friends were already seated.
Natsuki sat once again with her back facing Shizuru. She didn't think she'd be able to stop herself from looking at her otherwise.
When first period came around both girls were even more worried then they had been the day before. Natsuki understood even less math then usual, slamming her book shut in frustration when the bell finally rung.
"What are we doing in operations?" Mai asked Chie as they walked out.
"How should I know?" Chie laughed.
"I thought you knew everything that went on at this school." Mai replied, grinning.
Chie huffed. "Everything interesting Mai. That doesn't involve classes." She replied defensively.
Nao smirked, walking into the classroom first. Natsuki sat down in her desk, grateful for the distraction when their teacher started talking.
"Good morning." Yohko smiled brightly at her class. "As I'm sure you're all aware, a large portion of the work you will be doing... if you choose to be deployed as members of the FANG unit that is, will be stealth operations. A large part of your role will be to asses potential threats, tail suspects, and deliver or receive intelligence information. Who knows what the key is to a successful stealth operation?"
A boy in their class put up his hand.
"Yes?" Yohko nodded in his direction.
"Uh, stealth?" He asked, making the class laugh.
"Exactly." Yohko grinned. "And that's exactly what we'll be working on today and for the rest of the week."
Natsuki listened carefully as their teacher went through different squad formations, tactics for successful following, and various methods to loose a suspected follower. Natsuki had to admit is was interesting. Almost, but not quite interesting enough to get her mind off of Shizuru.
When their teacher had informed them that tommorow they'd be trying out the tactics on the school grounds the next day she let them out a few minutes early.
Tomoe stayed away from Natsuki at lunch. Natsuki glanced her way from across the cafeteria. It was almost as if she'd lost interest in her. She felt oddly disappointed. She was definitely in the mood for a fight.
Then Shizuru would finally have to talk to you. Natsuki told herself. She glanced back over at Shizuru's table, not surprised when she saw Shizuru laughing at something Reito had said.
Natsuki quickly looked back at her sandwich. She'd suddenly lost her appetite.
Shizuru glanced over at Natsuki one last time before the bell rang. Natsuki met her eyes, quickly looking away. Baka! She's going to think you're staring at her! No wonder she won't even look at you.
Shizuru inhaled sharply, knowing that look. It was too close to the one her parents had given her. She quickly excused herself from her table.
Natsuki watched as Shizuru said something to her friends, smiling as she got up from the table. Natsuki wanted desperately to go after her. You know you can't. She reminded herself.
She would only wind up making Shizuru uncomfortable.
Natsuki and Shizuru ran through the same exercise in Powers class for a third time. Shizuru seemed to be pleased with Natsuki's progress. The two said as little as possible and by the time class was over Natsuki felt ready to scream.
Shizuru told herself it was for the best. She knew from experience it would hurt less if she didn't get attached. The problem was... she was already so attached she didn't know how to stop.
When Natsuki reached their room she walked over to her bed, wishing desperately that she could be alone. She couldn't handle talking to her room mates about how awesome their partners were and the new stuff they were learning.
"I'm going to go for a walk." Natsuki said decisively, getting up.
Chie studied the navy haired girl's face. Something was clearly wrong, and she had a feeling it had to do with a certain student council president. "Do you want me to come with you?" Chie offered, hoping Natsuki would let her help.
"No, but thanks anyway." Natsuki smiled genuinely. "I'll see you later." Natsuki grabbed her key and walked out, a destination already set in her mind.
"Who's cooking?" Haruka asked as soon as Shizuru walked through the door.
"I believe you are Haruka-san." Shizuru replied, carefully putting her bag down.
Haruka groaned. "I was afraid of that." She sighed, having no clue what to cook. "So, how are things going with ice-girl?" She asked, rolling over on her bed.
Shizuru hesitated. She didn't want to think about it.
"She's improving very quickly." She replied, trying to find a way to change the topic without being too obvious. "What are you going to cook?" She asked quickly.
Haruka grunted. "How should I know?"
Shizuru smiled. She glanced down at her bag. She had some homework, but she was too exhausted to get anything done. Not that she could get to sleep if she tried to.
"If you'll excuse me Haruka-san I think I'm going to go to go for a walk." Shizuru smiled, walking towards the door. She already knew where she'd wind up.
"Everything okay?" Haruka asked, watching Shizuru carefully.
"Of course." Shizuru smiled, walking out before her room mate could say another word.
Shizuru reached the pond a few minutes later, lying down beside it like she had before. She allowed herself to slowly close her eyes.
Natsuki walked slowly through the small forest, glancing around at the fallen twigs and leaves. She reached the other end of the forest quickly, walking towards where she knew the pond was. When she got close enough to get a good view she stopped. Someone was already there, lying down beside it.
Natsuki slowly walked towards the pond, wondering who it was. She stopped a few feet away, shocked. Is... is that Shizuru? She asked herself. What would Shizuru be be doing out here? Natsuki carefully walked closer. She stopped before she got too close, listening to the older girl breathe softly. Was she asleep? Natsuki quietly walked the rest of the way over, turning so she could see the older girl's face.
Shizuru was sprawled out on the grass, her head resting peacefully beside her arm. Natsuki watched her for a moment. She looks so beautiful. Natsuki caught herself thinking. She knelt down beside her, slowly reaching her arm out.
Natsuki took a deep breath, moving Shizuru's hair gently off of her face. Blushing, Natsuki quickly stood up, taking one last look before she started walking away.
"Na..Natsuki?"
Natsuki froze, turning around slowly. She blushed furiously.
Shizuru lifted her head up slowly, shifting into a sitting position. Am I dreaming? Shizuru asked herself, as her vision cleared slowly.
"I...I'm sorry Shizuru..." Natsuki stuttered. Shizuru smiled softly at the blush on Natsuki's face.
"I just.. I was going for a walk and..." Natsuki trailed off. "... you just looked so peaceful..." She blushed even more. "I'm sorry... I'll go..." She started to walk away. Baka! What the hell were you doing!?
"Please stay." Shizuru said softly. Natsuki stopped, shocked.
"W..what?" Natsuki asked, meeting Shizuru's gaze.
"Please?" Shizuru repeated, praying Natsuki wouldn't look away.
Natsuki was drawn in by the look in Shizuru's eyes, suddenly finding it a little hard to breathe. She nodded after a moment, not trusting herself to speak.
Shizuru smiled softly, relieved. Natsuki couldn't help but grin as she lay down beside Shizuru.
"So...what are you doing here anyway?" Natsuki asked after a moment, tilting her head so she could look at the older girl.
"I..." Shizuru opened her mouth to speak, hesitating. "I needed to think." She finished carefully.
"About what?" Natsuki asked, meeting her gaze once again.
Shizuru laughed quietly shaking her head. "It's nothing." She smiled, closing her eyes and lying back down on the grass beside Natsuki. Natsuki was with her now, that was all that mattered.
Natsuki turned her head the whole way so she could see Shizuru's face. She blushed at how close together they were. Shizuru was only lying down maybe two feet away.
Natsuki's eyes followed the way Shizuru's hair cascaded down her face, blushing when her eyes finally fell on the older girl's lips. Natsuki bit her bottom lip, breathing deeply.
"You're getting grass in you hair." Natsuki laughed quietly. Shizuru smiled, eyes still closed as Natsuki carefully picked it out for her.
"Arigato." Shizuru whispered, shifting so she was a little closer to Natsuki. She could feel her warmth from where she was lying. Natsuki blushed, studying Shizuru's face as carefully as she could.
Natsuki watched Shizuru until she was sure she was asleep. Natsuki felt her eyes softly close too. It was like everything she had been worried about had just disappeared. She'd had no idea how peaceful the pond could be.
"Natsuki." A soft voice spoke.
Natsuki heard the voice faintly but didn't want to open her eyes. She felt a hand gently brush her hair off of her face.
"Natsuki." Shizuru whispered a second time, her hand brushing dangerously close to Natsuki's lips. Shizuru glanced down, biting her own lip to stop herself from loosing control.
Natsuki slowly opened her eyes to find Shizuru leaning over her.
"Shizuru?" Natsuki mumbled, getting up slowly. Shizuru carefully let her hand fall from the younger girl's face. Natsuki looked around, it was a little darker out then she remembered.
"It's five thirty." Shizuru smiled, seeing the look on Natsuki's face. "We fell asleep."
Natsuki blushed. "Sorry. I didn't mean to." Shizuru laughed gently, staring into Natsuki's startling green eyes.
"It's quite alright Natsuki." She smiled, blushing faintly. Natsuki rubbed her eyes sleepily, startled when she realized how close they still were.
The two girls stared at each other for a long moment. Shizuru found herself startled by the intense look Natsuki was giving her. Is everything okay?
"So..." Natsuki cleared her throat, glancing back over at the pond. "...really, Shizuru what were you doing here?" Natsuki turned back to face her, searching for some hint of the answer in her eyes.
"That's a very complicated question." Shizuru smiled softly, looking away. "...One I unfortunately don't know how to answer."
Natsuki hesitated. "Okay." She said after a moment, strangely satisfied with the answer.
Shizuru turned back, grateful Natsuki was so accepting. "Why did you come here?" Shizuru asked, studying the younger girl's face.
"I don't really know." Natsuki replied truthfully. "I like it here."
Shizuru smiled, knowing exactly what the navy haired girl meant. "So do I." She nodded. It reminds me of you.
The two girls stared at the pond in silence. There wasn't any need to speak.
After a moment a thought occurred to Natsuki. "Shizuru?" She asked.
"Yes Natsuki?" Shizuru replied, turning back to look at her.
"Please don't make me attack you tommorow. I'm sore enough as it is and it's really not good for my ego." Natsuki grinned.
Shizuru laughed. "As you wish."
Natsuki nodded, quite pleased with how that had turned out.
"Tomorrow I'll attack you." Shizuru grinned, making Natsuki whirl around in panic. Shizuru laughed, falling back onto the soft grass.
"That's not even funny." Natsuki grinned.
"Of course not." Shizuru nodded, smiling. "I'm serious Natsuki, you need to learn how to defend yourself."
"W..what?" Natsuki asked, raising her eyebrows.
"I'll begin slowly." Shizuru laughed.
Natsuki groaned, though she couldn't help but laugh.
"And then when you get good at that we can move onto sparing." Shizuru smiled.
"You know there is no good compared to you, right?" Natsuki asked making Shizuru laugh.
"Ara, I'm flattered." She blushed faintly.
"Shizuru?" Natsuki asked, her voice taking on a more serious tone.
"Yes?" Shizuru asked, her voice doing the same.
"Why do you hate using your power so much?" Natsuki asked, watching as Shizuru turned away quickly.
"I wish you wouldn't ask that." Shizuru smiled softly, her stomach clenching nervously.
"You don't have to tell me if you don't want to." Natsuki said quickly, sorry that she'd made Shizuru so uncomfortable.
"What would you do with my power?" Shizuru asked, turning to face the younger girl.
"If I had your power?" Natsuki asked, clarifying. Shizuru nodded, waiting patiently for a response.
"I don't know." Natsuki laughed softly. "You could almost do anything you wanted to."
Shizuru smiled. Did she really believe that?
"Well, not legally." Natsuki admitted. "But you could get out of trouble using it, you could have anything you wanted..." Natsuki glanced nervously down at Shizuru. "...anyone you wanted."
Shizuru laughed, trying not to sound bitter. "Do you really believe that?" She asked, looking Natsuki in the eyes.
"Well, couldn't you just tell someone that they were in love with you?" Natsuki asked, grinning.
"Would you be satisfied with that?" Shizuru asked smiling faintly. She studied Natsuki's eyes carefully as the younger girl decided.
"...No." Natsuki said quietly, thinking about it. "I wouldn't be." To know someone only loved you because you made them could never make you happy.
"No." Shizuru repeated quietly, looking away.
"But you can still make people fall for you the old fashioned way." Natsuki argued.
Shizuru smiled, shaking her head. "I wouldn't be too sure." She said quietly, studying the grass.
"Come on Shizuru." Natsuki laughed. "Half the school's obsessed with you."
"Have you ever tried to confess that you love someone when they're too scared to look you in the eyes?" Shizuru asked quietly, knowing the answer. She turned her head away, so Natsuki wouldn't see how vulnerable she felt admitting this to her.
Natsuki stopped, her smile fading quickly. She remembered the first day she'd found out about Shizuru's power. She'd accused Shizuru of trying to use her power on her when she'd gotten too close. Natsuki remembered the hurt look on Shizuru's face. Shizuru had only been trying to help her.
"I...I'm sorry." Natsuki whispered.
"It's not your fault." Shizuru replied quietly, refusing to turn and face the younger girl.
"Would you give up your power if you had a choice?" Natsuki asked softly.
"In an instant." Shizuru replied, smiling faintly. Natsuki slowly reached out, carefully holding the older girl's hand with her own. She blushed when Shizuru turned to face her. There was a faint blush on the older girl's face as well.
Shizuru glanced down at their joined hands smiling softly. Natsuki locked eyes with her, not understanding how anyone could look away.
"You should never have fallen for a baka like that." Natsuki grinned. Shizuru laughed, tracing her thumb gently down the back of Natsuki's hand.
"I always fall for the wrong person." Shizuru replied, her eyes never leaving the younger girl's.
Natsuki felt her stomach knot as she nodded. "...Me to." She said after a moment, forcing herself to look away.
After a moment Shizuru got up, gently untangling their hands.. "We should probably get back Natsuki. Our roommates are probably worried."
Natsuki laughed. "You're probably right." She stood up slowly, hesitating. "...Arigato." She said quietly. "...For telling me."
Shizuru smiled, feeling as though an enormous burden had been lifted off her entirely. "Arigato for listening." She replied, meeting Natsuki's gaze once more. Both girls blushed faintly.
"I'll see you tommorow morning." Shizuru said quickly, glancing towards the dorm.
Natsuki groaned. "I don't think I cant take getting up early again." Shizuru laughed, turning and walking in the direction of the senior dorms.
Natsuki started walking towards her dorm, blushing as glanced back over her shoulder.
Shizuru smiled faintly as she walked away, though it didn't take long for her to crash back down to reality. Natsuki was a friend. And to her that was all she'd ever be.
I always fall for the wrong people. Shizuru repeated to herself.
This time I think I've fallen too hard.
Thanks for reading!!! Please review! :D