Author: TippierCoffee
Disclaimer: I do not own—nor do I claim the rights to—any of the characters from the show Codename: Kids Next Door. All credit goes to rightful owner: Mr. Tom Warburton.
LTLY series: 1. Learning To Love You; 2. Again; 3. Alone; 4. Ever After.
OBS: I gave Wally's parents names. Mum: Kayla Beetles, Dad: Wilbert Beetles.
Enjoy :)
Truths and sins II.
The night felt cold and ruthless, but maybe it was just his own feeling of guilt playing a trick on him. This was what real friends did he'd been told, so why did it feel so wrong? Other than the fact that he was only here to protect the life of his brother, which Kris—a guy claiming to be his best friend—had on the line.
"Just remember, friend." Cory whispered, placing a hand over Wally's shoulder. "If you hear any sirens, just run as if your life depends on it."
"As if? Jeff snorted. "His life is going to depend on it you retard."
"Hey, shut up!" Kris hissed agitated. "I swear, with all of you yelling like that it won't be the alarms we have to worry about." He went back to skillfully cutting a circle around the tape crossed over each other on top of the window.
Wally looked from the self-proclaimed leader to his little lapdogs, then he started looking around while feeling how he started to sweat underneath his skin. His breath got caught in his throat and all of his body started subtly trembling below him. Why the hell had he gotten himself involved with these types, and how had he ended up here?
"There we go." Kris grinned triumphantly, hitting the spot where the tape crossed over each other inside the circle softly with a small hammer. Then he turned his attention to Wally.
"Beetles, hide out behind the car over there, make sure to hold this close." He tapped his own gun to Wally's with a small clunk, making Wally shiver. "Keep a watch out for anyone and everyone. Remember the signal?"
Wally gave a short nod looking to the gun in his left hand, feeling more nauseous than he could ever remember having felt before. How could he ever forget?
"You're a real good friend, Beetles." Kris sneered, making the two others cackle lowly while Wally chuckled nervously before he went to his post.
He put on the mask and gloves Kris had provided for him—something about identity and fingerprints—and made sure not to touch the car, in case it was one of those hyper sensitive ones which would have an alarm go off by the slightest touch alone. Anxiously he looked from side to side, halfway hoping someone would come, because come to think of it—and quite honestly—firing a gun would wake up the neighbourhood for sure. As if no one would call the cops if he did, so it was a pretty dumb signal, not even very well thought out. Not many things Kris set out to do seemed to be, it was just about him being this stupid fourteen-year-old guy trying to put himself on top of the world. Yet, no one showed up.
Wally kept carefully peeking into the bank where his 'comrades' only emptied what was easily available, as none of them had any idea how to open up the vault, thank God. If the vault was opened the alarm in the bank would definitely go off and if that happened Wally had the easiest way of escaping, even now he did, so why didn't he just run?
-Because Kris knows where you live doofus- He scolded himself softly, looking at the gun Kris had lend him with sickness reentering once again. If he ran Kris would come and kill his brother.
Wally almost wish Kris would just say he'd kill Wally himself, then it would be easier to run away, with no one else's life on the line. Even though the thought of being shot dead was scaring him a whole lot, it still made him feel somewhat calm. If only he didn't have to worry about Joey—or maybe his entire family—being at danger, he would run right now. But he did have to worry, so he wouldn't run.
No one came, the three others succeeded in their mission, and before Wally knew of it, he heard Kris hiss to him—in fits of laughter—that he should run, and he followed troop with the other guys, reminding himself not to squeeze the trigger of the gun he didn't know how to secure. They ran like that for a while, Wally's gut feeling heavy as if it were filled with stone. His mind kept screaming at him that he had now escalated from slacker, to bored smart ass who trash talked cops to a cruddy thief!
They all huffed and puffed when they came to the point where Cory and Jeff would have to go one way, and Wally would be stuck with Kris for a good part of his way home. They all handed over their masks and gloves to Kris, who took off his own stuff too, and put it in the bottom room of his mini-sized hiker bag. Cory and Jeff then walked off with small waves, while laughing about how amazing this whole experience had been, which Kris took as his opportunity to walk off, Wally making sure to stay right next to him.
"See, that wasn't so bad now, was it?" Kris smiled, still catching his breath, while he lay a hand firmly around Wally's shoulder, who stiffened without noticing it. "I mean, have you ever felt this alive?"
"I guess not." Wally muttered, trying to remember how to breathe.
Out of the corner of his eyes he saw Kris fish up a pack of cigarettes, which his brother had bought for him no doubt, and his parents hadn't cared about it at all. Maybe Kris' parents weren't so amazing after all; who didn't care about their own children anyways?
"Want one?" Kris asked, offering Wally one as he met his eyes. Wally shook his head a little, still trying to calm his mind and his nerves.
"Come on." Kris sneered, practically pushing the package in Wally's face "You know you want to."
Wally eyed the package a little, feeling second thoughts rushing through his mind. He wasn't entirely sure this was a good idea, but maybe it was just Kris trying to bond with him, or prove to him he hadn't completely lost his mind. Wally chewed his bottom lip a little, but he still didn't take the offer.
"It helps with the nerves after all, you know that." Kris said, letting out a cackle. "It's just this one, I promise. Come on Beetles."
Wally saw how Kris lit up a cigarette for himself, then offered one to him. He still felt doubtful for a moment, although part of him also knew what Kris would do if he said no. If he said no he would be called a pussy or something, and he kind of disliked the idea of being teased, so he accepted the cigarette and shoved it into his mouth. Kris guided his lighter towards the cigarette, which already tasted sort of odd on Wally's tongue, and he found nothing happened when Kris lit it.
"You have to suck in while I light it." Kris muttered, his mouth holding onto his own cigarette.
He went to light the one in Wally's mouth again, Wally inhaling carelessly and almost immediately started coughing and spitting because of the toxic smoke falling into his throat and tearing at it. This reaction made Kris laugh his head off in hysteria.
"You're not supposed to swallow it you idiot!" He snorted, holding his hands to his stomach. "You need to blow out again, like this."
Kris effortlessly put his smoke to his lips and inhaled, then opened his mouth in a weird o-shape while exhaling, fumes sneaking out of his mouth and nose. Wally looked doubtfully at the object between his fingers, then mimicked Kris carefully, although still failing to really pull it off, and he still had to spit a little to get the aftertaste out. He wrinkled his nose and tried again, still not succeeding at all.
"Come on Beetles." Kris muttered, smoke in mouth, the he put it in his fingers and exhaled quickly, almost as if spitting out his air. "Think of it like sucking through a straw when you have a soft drink, and then you want to spit it at someone just because."
Wally tried again, mimicking the way he would suck through a straw, then blew the smoke out, this time more correctly, though it could probably still use some work to be quite honest. It didn't seem to bother Kris all that much that Wally was probably a complete noob in his eyes, but Kris did roll his eyes, as subtly as possible—which wasn't very subtle at all.
"You'll get the hang of it." He said, shoving his cigarette into his mouth, then taking off his bag pack. "Take off your bag and get your share." He then muttered.
Wally wasn't sure, because as far as he was concerned, right now he technically was only an accomplice to theft, but if he took this offer, he would be carrying stolen money with him, which made him no better than the ones who had actually been doing the crime. He shuffled a little in his seat, taking another inhale of his cigarette for God knows which reason; almost as if it was reassuring him—calming him.
"Hey!" Kris said impatiently, pointing his fully loaded gun at Wally's template. "Hand over your bag and get your share, unless you want your brother to die."
Wally turned his eyes, meeting those of Kris. They were cold, ruthless, and seemingly lifeless too. Wally started taking off his bag pack with trembling hands, frightened because of a thought he had in a flash. If he still had the gun Kris had lent him, he could be duelling Kris, seeing who would pull the trigger first.
A shiver came over his spine, his mind and himself not believing he could ever have those kind of thoughts, but maybe it was just because he felt that much pushed into a corner, and it seemed like it would be the easier way to solve his main problem—probably also the dumber way to solve his problem. He handed his bag over to Kris, and watched as Kris put a bunch of wrapped notes into his bag pack. It seemed they had somehow succeeded to get at least a thousand dollars each, which was more money than Wally would ever feel comfortable just carelessly carrying around; especially when they were stolen.
"Here you go." Kris concluded chatting Wally on the shoulder. "By the way, I secured my gun ages ago, idiot."
Wally tried laughing a long with the joking laugh of Kris, but it was difficult because it didn't take a genius to see that Kris was spiralling downward and this was just the beginning.
Present…
"The beginning of what I didn't know back then though." Wally said, looking to his hands in his lap. He had leaned away from Kuki a long time a go, and now she was just listening with big eyes. "I mean, I wanted to back out, but what was I supposed to do? He was threatening me with killing my brother, and a part of me just felt like he wouldn't cruddy stop there. He would go for my entire family if he could, that's how I saw it.
"So I went with it as we started mocking gas stations and such, we were almost caught a couple of times. I think I was the one who was almost caught the most times, because I really wanted to be caught, at least then it would end. But I guess I just kept on running because my parents were already pissed at me, and if I ended up in juvenile detention I was convinced my parents would never talk to me again. They'd deny me.
"Kris found it funny that I was worried about juvie, because he wasn't. He was convinced that if we were ever caught we would make everyone our bitches, although he was also convinced we'd never get caught because Drew erased our traces if we were ever close to getting caught. From the inside.
"I started fearing that someone would get hurt really badly, because Kris was tipping over the edge, even Cory and Jeff knew that, though they enjoyed being with him a lot more than I did, and they still found everything cruddy amusing. Then, two weeks after that stupid bank it happened."
2005…
March 19th, 12pm.
Wally, Cory and Jeff were waiting outside in the woods near an abandoned small cabin; or rather shag. Kris had showed them this place only the day before and informed them to meet him here on this day at this time, and he'd have something really great for them. Cory and Jeff had seemed genuinely excited about whatever it was Kris wanted to show them, but Wally wasn't so sure. He still felt unnerved and on edge whenever Kris was around, it had become impossible to know what that guy was thinking.
Wally had also found he wanted to stay in school more, wanted to learn, wanted a future. Everything he thought was pointless ever since he turned thirteen, everything he had hated, everything that had bored him half to death, he wanted it now. If he had just cared to listen to his parents, however strict they had sounded, he probably would have never ended in this situation. After all they just wanted what was best for him.
"What do you think he wants?" Cory asked, obviously bored, mostly because it felt like ages since they came even though it had probably only been two minutes.
"How should I know?" Wally scoffed, putting light to a cigarette.
This was one of the things he hated the most; the way Kris had gotten him addicted to cigarettes and he found whenever he was stressed, anxious or just feeling pissed, he had to inhale the toxic tar to calm himself down. His mother had been extremely mad when she had found out about his new habit and had started tossing a tantrum, or so it seemed back then, but thinking about it now she had probably just been very disappointed. Wally hadn't exactly been nice to her, and insults had been flying back and forth until his dad had come home, then suddenly there were three arguing, which turned into his parents arguing who might be more at fault for Wally's behaviour, though the only one who could ever take blame in his actions was himself.
In the end they had reached a compromise. If Wally raised his grades by attending more steadily, then he would be allowed to smoke, but only outside. Even though his attendance still wasn't the best in the world, he had made an effort to raise his grades, and so he had been allowed. Though mostly he would be smoking out the window in his room, because as far as he was concerned that was outside.
"I hope it's worth the wait." Jeff said annoyed, kicking the hard ground and sending frost and rotten, frozen leaves flying. "I swear it's too cold for this crap, who even heard of five degrees* in March?"
"What'd you do with your money?" Wally suddenly found himself mumbling, remembering how, after he had come home, he had shoved his bag pack as far underneath his bed as possible and finally broken down, crying hysterically into his pillow while muttering Joey's name, over and over. He would never use those money.
"New stereo." Jeff muttered. "Not too large tough, my parents would just get suspicious."
"Saving mine for college." Cory stated shortly, catching Wally's attention. Cory was hardly ever at school, Wally had never thought he even cared about it.
"Pf! As if you, I or Kris have a chance at that." Jeff snorted, chuckling lightly. "We hardly ever meet. The only one with just a bit of a chance to make it to high school and then proceed to college is goody-goody Beetles."
"If you were in my shoes you'd meet up too." Wally stated. "My mum's screaming can make anyone's ears ring, and I just prefer not having my head explode because she's having a temper tantrum."
This made the two others laugh while trying to mimic Wally's mum, who neither of them had ever met. Even though Wally partly found it extremely hilarious—mostly because they called him Wally or Beetles—part of him also felt like knocking them over for mocking his mum like that. He might not always agree with what she did, and he most definitely had been under appreciating her lately, but he loved her nonetheless. He was still trying to win over at least some of her trust and respect by trying to dose her with respect and love, although he wasn't exactly amazing at that, but he did try.
"You know what?" Jeff suddenly stated. "If Kris is not here in at least five minutes I'm getting the hell out 'a here, it's fucking cold!"
"Tsk, tsk, tsk, Jeff." Kris' voice came from within the trees. "Have you no patience at all? I just needed some extra time to pick up a little treat."
He shoved a girl in front of him, who was taller than him, but with his gun pointed to her template she looked terribly small. She wore a light beige dress, white stockings and shoes that reached just above her ankles. They weren't exactly winter boots, but they matched the rest of her outfit pretty well, holding a light beige colour. On top of her dress she had a while zip-up hood sweater, which was quite thin, but no jacket—Kris probably hadn't let her take it along with her. Her hair was blood red, her eyes deep blue, and her pale oval face with the small somewhat pointy nose looked almost flawless, safe for the tears streaming down her cheeks.
Jeff and Cory let out whistles while eyeing her up and down with lusty looks, which made her body tremble that much more, but Wally couldn't believe his eyes. What was Kris doing right now, and why had he called this girl a treat? Didn't he know she was a human being, and a scared one at that? He was frozen to the spot, unable to do anything, probably just as paralysed and frightened as the girl, although she probably was a lot more terrified than him right now. All alone in the middle of no where with four psychopathic little boys.
"Why don't you tell us your name, pretty?" Kris growled at her, an evil smile upon his face.
"Ro-Rosalind C-Claudine." She stuttered, so silently Wally could barely hear her at all.
"Please speak up." Kris whispered to her, though loud enough for the other guys to hear him too. "Not all of us caught that."
"Rosalind Claudine." She cried, faltering in Kris' hard grasp. "My friends call me Rose."
"Ooh, like the flower?" Kris mocked, licking her neck which made her let out a small whine while she started trembling more vehemently.
"Beetles!" Wally looked to Kris, worry in his eyes. "Aren't you a lucky little guy? Because you keep making me uncertain I give you all of these special prizes, this is just one of them." He pushed Rose into Wally's arms, and Wally by reflex caught her and held her as steady as he possibly could.
"I want you to go in here and have a lot fun with her." Kris sneered making a subtle thrusting motion with his pelvis, before opening the door to the shag, and Wally almost panicked when he saw that the door was opening outward.
"Remember." Kris sang, waving his gun around while he shoved both Wally and Rose inside. "We can hear you out here, and if I find out you didn't do her, you know what's gonna happen."
He made a little motion with his gun, then the door closed on Wally who stood pinned to the spot, feeling like he was going to vomit. Did Kris really want him to do what he thought he wanted him to do? But Wally was only fifteen-years-old, and a virgin! He couldn't just do that to a girl he'd never met, who sat trembling on the ground, pressing herself up against the wall to get as far away from him as possible. He couldn't; but if he didn't…
A flash of Joey dead on the ground made tears spring into Wally's eyes, and before he knew of it he found himself walking over to Rose, kneeling down in front of her and covering her mouth; unsure which one of them was trembling harder, him or her.
"I'm sorry." He croaked, moving closer to her, while he felt her tears fall onto his hands. "I'm so sorry, please don't be mad. If I don't do this he's gonna kill my baby brother."
He could feel Rose shaking even more violently than before as he started working his right hand up to rid her of her zip-up. He could feel his own heart betraying him and itself as it sank deep into his stomach while still managing to make his chest ache. He could feel his stomach turning and his throat trying a knot on itself, making him unable to breathe. He was blinded by tears pressing closer, only making his hyperventilation worse; at this point he would faint. Though he might just prefer dying, rather than touching her bare shoulders and realising, he really couldn't do it.
"I can't." He sobbed, making Rose cry even harder, probably from relief. "I can't do this. Fuck!" He had never felt so desperate, scared, wrong and filthy all at once as he felt now. "Fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck!"
Wally pulled away from Rose, though scared to uncover her mouth, and then he sat staring into the floor while trembling and crying. Carefully he met her eyes, just as scared as his, just as confused as his, showing that she was just as longing to go home as him. Go home and forget everything, bury themselves under their duvets in each their home, while forgetting everything around them, forgetting the world. Maybe Rose could live, move on, be better, but Wally might just want to rot away in his bed, let go of everything and die; finally have peace.
"You need to help me." He found himself saying lowly, in a groggy voice while desperately trying to swallow air. "I'll uncover your mouth, but you have to be quiet, okay?"
He looked at her begging eyes, looking at his begging eyes. Like they were two small children looking for comfort in each other even though they didn't know each other, even though one of them was terrified of the other, yet she found herself nodding and Wally felt a weight lift off his shoulders while he became able to breathe just a little better. He carefully removed his hand from her mouth and she stayed quiet as a mouse.
"Okay." Wally whispered, scooting a little closer to the girl who in response pressed herself harder against the wall. "If we simulate they won't know the difference, and they'll leave you be, I'm sure of it."
"How old are you?" She suddenly asked, breathlessly and still very frightened.
"Fifteen." Wally answered, feeling extremely embarrassed for some reason.
"What about the guy with the gun?"
"Fourteen."
"Jesus Christ!" She sighed, relaxing her body a little. "What the hell are you guys thinking, and if you don't want to do this, then why are you even with them?"
"Because the guy with the gun is going to kill my brother if I don't do as he says. I can't cruddy do this, I don't want to, I just want to go home."
"And I don't?" Rose hissed, new tears—this time of anger—streaming down her face. "I was just minding my own business when that jerk just came along!"
"I'm sorry." Wally muttered, as if it was going to fix anything when both of them knew fully well that it wouldn't.
"You're awfully quiet in there!" Kris' voice broke through. "Is something happening or not Beetles?"
"Yeah I just…" Waly quickly looked to Rose, making up something dumb on the spot. "I bound her shirt around her mouth so she wouldn't scream. I don't like noisy girls!"
This made the three outside laugh hysterically, yet some sort of approval seemed to coat their laughters too, and Wally found he mentally drop kicked himself while looking to Rose with very apologetic eyes, feeling his face burn up by the sight of her shocked expression. She was blushing too, so it made him feel a little better, at least he thought it did.
"What do you say?" He asked lowly, looking to her with begging eyes, feeling like his face would explode any moment soon from embarrassment, but it looked like hers would too. "Fake it and no one will get hurt. Not you, not my brother, not anyone."
"And they'll leave me be?" Rose asked, a tint of hope sneaking into her voice, her shivering body finally fully relaxing. After all, this Beetles guy did seem genuine and he'd just made up a lie to keep the other guys out.
"Yes." Wally sighed, bowing his head, seemingly in defeat, but it was in gratitude and relief.
"Promise?" She asked, looking to him, her eyes sparkling with something he couldn't really place.
"I promise." He said, confidence in his eyes, which made her smile brightly, before they proceeded to faking something that wasn't even supposed to be made fun of, but it was for the sake of her, and for the sake of his brother.
Present…
"I think that's one of the most awkward and embarrassing things I've ever done." Wally chuckled, his expression nothing but sadness. "But we went through with it, me screaming for her to shut up at random times while punching the wall, and her crying out here and there. I'm not really sure which one of us was blushing more, both of us were definitely feeling really awkward, but it was worth it. Or so I thought."
Past…
Rose sat for a while, looking at Wally who had opened his flier and unbuttoned his pants, as well as loosened his belt. She let him come over to her, while muttering a silent apology, before letting him gruff up her hair and make it look like torn bed hair. She couldn't help but giggle a little at his actions while looking to him as he had his tongue fixated at the corner of his lips.
"There." He muttered, leaning away from her and ruffling his own hair a little. "Just, if you see me don't call out to me or anything, you hate me and you're scared of me because I cruddy ruined your life."
"You're sweet." Rose smiled, stroking his cheek softly which made him freeze. "I really hope you find a way of getting out of this bad company soon, you're better than this, I can tell."
She gave him a smile which made him look down nervously. He'd never really been called good or sweet, much less too good for someone. He wasn't a smart kid, he was head strong and made stupid decisions that always ended up getting him involved in things that were hard to get out of. Things like this.
But then she did something completely unexpected, something he would never think anyone would ever do to him, because people often connected him to negative things, like his temper, or bullying, or Kris' gang. After having torn at her dress and stockings to make it all seem believable, and wiped all of her lip gloss in her zip-up before tossing it to the floor, she grabbed his cheeks and softly kissed his lips. It was just brief, and to her it was probably nothing incredibly special, just her way of showing him her final gratitude; but to Wally it was his first kiss ever. A kiss given to him by a girl—two years older than himself—who he'd been supposed to rape and scar for life but hadn't been able to.
She helped him to his feet with a little smile then took a deep breath and turned her mood one eighty, crying out so realistically Wally started feeling sorry for her, but she was faking this for him, just like he had been faking the rape for her. She then let him roughly push her out of the cabin, onto the ground, and let him sneer at her.
"Plenty left if you feel lonely." He heard his own voice say coldly, making even himself scared.
Then he watched as she got up to run away, his friends laughing and whistling after her, Kris padding his back harshly, his face full of approval and amusement.
"I knew I hadn't lost you." He triumphed as he watched Wally zip up his flier, button his pants and tighten his belt. "How was she, huh?"
Wally already knew which answer Kris wanted, he could see it from the playful, yet devilish tingle in his eyes, to the way he was practically bouncing up and down like a little child in amazement and excitement.
"Treat." Wally said, keeping the coldness to his voice, which made his own spine crawl with shivers, while licking his mouth.
Present…
"You know." Wally said, heaving heavily as he watched Kuki's terrified expression while she was hugging his pillow into her, silent tears falling down her cheeks. He felt so bad, wanted to embrace her, but he was scared she'd push him away, call him a monster or a freak, or worse; tell everyone. Including Amber.
"I really thought they'd leave her alone, I did. That's why I promised her, but I couldn't even keep my promise."
"I don't want to hear anymore." Kuki whined, her voice so twisted from her cries that Wally hardly recognised it.
"But I need to finish this, it'll be short, I promise." He watched Kuki as she looked away still crying her bitter tears then she gave a nod and buried her face into his pillow once again.
"The next day I went to school." Wally continued with a sigh. "I had decided I wanted to get serious about my education and my future, I wanted to get away from Kris and the others, I wanted to go back to Cleveland and start anew, but I was still so scared to tell anyone. I got a note that day in my locker, it was from Kris, I recognised his sorry excuse of handwriting right away.
"It said he thought Rose had sounded so good the other's just had to have a go at her and if I wanted a retry I could find her at the same place we were yesterday. I could practically feel my heart fall apart, like in those cruddy girly movies when they break up, except I felt like I had betrayed her. I promised her."
Past…
Wally ran as fast as he could back into the woods, not caring that his jacket wasn't closed, or that he'd left his bag pack and his books at the school. He needed to try and get out here, maybe it wasn't too late yet to step in and stop them. Who was he trying to kid though? Kris could have left that note hours ago as well as just a couple of minutes ago, and maybe it was already too late and she would be sitting in the shag and hugging herself tightly with tears streaming down her face, infuriated with him. He promised!
He came to his desired destination but what he saw there made everything within him sink and shatter, and he found his knees give after and send him falling to the ground. He couldn't believe this, the way she was lying there, sprawled across the ground, her hair lying in messes around her, looking like a cascade of fire against the still frozen ground. Her striped T-shirt pulled up, her bra pulled off, her pants and panties tossed off her, her body full of stab wounds.
He turned away from the sight, feeling so sick he couldn't believe it, and that's when he saw what made everything within his stomach turn. An abandoned tripod parallel to her and a note stuck under one of the feet. They had been filming it!
Wally suddenly felt all of his breakfast and lunch leave him and fall to the ground, almost choking him as it did so. He had promised her, he had sworn to her, he had said they wouldn't come after her at all, and now she was… She was. More fluids came out of his mouth, tearing harshly against his throat—graining his throat—and smelling foul in his nostrils.
He broke down crying in despair and fear. If she came back as a spirit she would haunt him for the rest of his life, because he had promised her and she was dead, and they had filmed it and left a note for him.
-The note!- He looked up with a frightened expression, still feeling like he was being swallowed by the earth, but he had to know what it said. If it was them boasting and giving details, or if it was something else.
He dragged himself over to the tripod and tore the note away from under the foot, trying his best to ignore the corpse he could constantly see in the corner of his eyes, and even though the rational part of his mind knew this was just his guilt playing tricks on his mind, he could have sworn he saw Rose turn her head to look directly at him with angry and hurt eyes. He was shaking so much from the feeling of her watching him like that when she was dead, becoming paranoid that each rustle of the winds causing dead leaves to move was her standing up or dragging herself toward him. With trembling hands and blurry vision, unable to breathe and shake the feeling of Rose closing in on him, he opened the note and felt his heart sink.
-No…- He kept looking, kept trying to convince himself he was reading wrong, but it was there, black on white. Kris' handwriting.
Your brother is so lucky Beetles.
With trembling legs he got up, shaking Rose's artificial ghost—made of his mind—off of him, while he started running as fast as he could; which, at current point, was not that fast at all. If anything it felt like he had cinder blocks tied to his feet, but he was not going to let Joey down too, not if he could prevent it.
-Please!- He begged desperately in his head. -Please let him be okay, please don't let me be late!-
Present…
"At some point I reached the elementary school ground and saw Kris and the others beat up some random kid." Wally said, swallowing hard.
"Wallace Foster?" Kuki asked groggily through her cries. Wally nodded bitterly.
"I think I lost it when I saw it. He was just a kid around my brother's age, maybe one year older, and they were beating him up because they thought he had a funny name.
"It was the last straw for me, the thing that tipped me over the edge, and somehow I found myself battling the four of them, knocking them unconscious although I took some pretty hefty beatings myself, and nearly fainted because Kris hit my template. He even fired his gun, but he ended up shooting Cory's leg because I was moving too fast for him. Lousy shot if you ask me.
"Guess someone called the cops somewhere in between, but after I'd knocked them out I tried to revive Wallace, but I was too late for that too. Police came, Drew was there, I screamed up about his corruption, which he denied of course. They needed me to cooperate, and I guess they believed me enough to actually look into Drew and see for themselves.
"I told them everything then and there. I didn't care anymore, Kris was going to be locked up, my brother was safe, there was nothing left to fear, and nothing left for me to lose. I had already lost it all. My family, my future, my trust in myself, other people's trust in me. As far as I was concerned they should just put me in the electric chair then and there, but seeing as I cooperated, and seeing as they found my share of the stolen goods from the bank and the gas stations, which I had never used, they gave me a lot less time than the others. I always deserved more though. I did; because I promised her. I promised her."
He couldn't stop himself anymore, couldn't hold it back anymore. He had needed to tell this so badly, but now he was breaking down from reliving it, and breaking down because he could sense Kuki's fear. Even though he trusted she probably wouldn't tell anyone ever, he would definitely lose her, because now she knew. She knew what kind of monster he was, which disaster he could have stopped but never did because he had been too God damn scared to. She knew how dangerous it could be getting too close to him, what it meant.
His past which he tried so desperately to bury behind him, but it kept haunting him in the form of Rose visiting his nightmares, blaming him as he blamed himself. He had promised her, but she had still died, and he hadn't been held guilty for it. He hadn't even been charged for it, when everyone knew he was just as guilty as the other low life murderers who just deserved to burn in hell, and the world would have been better off if someone like him had never been born.
He was guilty as they came, vicious and disgusting, a monster in disguise, losing everything all over again, but then he felt a soft embrace removing the world around him, burying him in a safeness he didn't deserve. Kuki's embrace, Kuki's hand stroking his hair, Kuki holding him steady and giving him compassion.
"Don't blame yourself." She muttered after a while, letting him cry into her while she too cried on his behalf. What a cruel fate he had been tossed into. "This would have happened even if you weren't there, and you were being black mailed. You need to stop blaming yourself so much for everything Wally. Forgive yourself and move on, because it's not your fault. You're not a bad guy."
Wally felt himself breaking down even more. Not a bad guy? Of course he was, he had to be, because why else had he ended in this? He must have done something bad that had ended him like that.
"You're not scared of me?" He croaked, a hiccough escaping. He felt so helpless and vulnerable.
"No." She hushed, making him feel so safe, so loved, so trusted. Almost like how Rose had made him feel, but it was more than that, because Kuki actually knew him. Mostly good, but now also bad. "I'm terrified of your story, and I never wish to meet Kris or the others. But I'm not scared of you, because I know you. You're a good guy who ended up in an unlucky and bad situation, but even if you hadn't been there, and I know I just said this, this would have happened anyways. Kris and the others didn't do that to Rose because of you, they did it because they found it entertaining and they wanted to."
"But his note said I made her sound so good." Wally sobbed, trying to really listen to Kuki because of course she was right, she had a tendency to be.
"Without you she might have died one day earlier because she felt so good." Kuki gave a little shiver. "But this is not your fault, and you need to forgive yourself. You're a good person, who's trustworthy and fun to be with, who will protect his friends because he knows they're worth it if they truly make him feel good. You're not bad."
2013 Rewrite. Originally written between October 21st 2010 - March 31st 2011. I hope you enjoyed this rewrite.
Criticism and/or advices on improvement is/are highly appreciated and welcome :)
A/N: Truths and sins used to be one chapter, but I split it up. Otherwise it would have been a 12,000 words chapter xD
~*~TippierCoffee~*~