Chapter 11

The day that Tom and Haley would meet, I honestly had no idea what to expect. I wanted everything to work out perfectly. For Tom to drop his stupid, arrogant attitude and to welcome Haley with open arms. For Tom to see that spending time with his daughter would be even better if he was spending time with the mother too. For us to live happily ever after. Unfortunately neither of those things happened. Maybe it would take time or something.

I tossed and turned in my bed, trying to ignore the fact that my body was in need of nicotine. Yea I smoked on occasion, but that 'occasion' was at least once a week. I continued to try and ignore my cravings by thinking about today, but it wasn't working. I wanted one and I wanted one now. I glanced at Haley, who was curled up in the fetal position, and decided it would be ok if I let her alone for a few minutes.

I pulled my hair up into ponytail before grabbing my cigarettes and lighter. I know the smoke would still get in my hair, but not as much as it would if my hair were down. I looked at Haley once more and pulled the blankets up a little higher on her body. It was a bit chilly in the room and I didn't want Haley waking up cold. I pulled on a big, purple sweatshirt and stepped out onto my patio with my cigarettes and lighter in hand.

Putting a cigarette to my lip, I was just about to light it when I noticed a figure pacing a few balconies down. I squinted my eyes a bit and finally recognized little black braids hidden underneath a beanie, and a silver lip ring that shined in the moonlight. Tom. He was holding a burning cigarette in his right hand, not even smoking it as he paced back and forth. Apparently Tom had continued to smoke over the years.

I stepped back into the shadows and lit up my own, my eyes never leaving him. I didn't want him to see me. I just wanted to watch him. Haven't been able to just look at him in person for almost three years now, and I didn't know when I would have the chance again.

"Scheisse!" He suddenly cussed aloud, dropping his cigarette that was quickly burning through the filter, and stomped it out. Grabbing the box from the table, he shook out another one, brought it to his gorgeous – I mean lips and lit it. Quickly after, smoke curled from his mouth and he began pacing again. I didn't know why he was doing it, but I continued to watch as I finished my own.

He finally stopped and turned to the rail, throwing his arms down on it and sighed loudly. He brought the cigarette to his lips again before leaning over with his head on his arms. The boy obviously had something on his mind, and I would've loved to find out what it was. Unfortunately I wasn't really in a place where I could just waltz over to his room and ask what was up. That was one of the privileges I had when we were going out, or at least friends.

I took one more puff from my cancer stick before stubbing it out in the ashtray next to me. Looking at Tom again, I noticed his shoulders slightly moving. I heard a sniffle and watched as he lifted his head and wiped at his eyes with his free hand. Was Tom Kaulitz crying? He moved his face to the side and I could see a single tear drop running down his face. Tom Kaulitz was crying! What the hel?! I wanted so much to run over to his room and comfort him, but… I couldn't. He didn't even know I was watching him, and he probably didn't want to be watched, which was why he was crying in the middle of the night.

He continued to sniffle and wipe at his eyes as my curiosity grew. I had to know what was wrong with him! And then a thought came to my head. Was meeting Haley today too overwhelming for him? Surely he had known he was going to. I mean, Bill must've told him that I was coming on tour! Unless he failed to leave out Haley while telling him… I need to talk to Bill.

Tom stopped wiping his eyes, stood up straight and chucked his cigarette over the balcony angrily. He let out a giant huff and turned to go inside, picking up his cancer sticks as he went. As soon as I heard the door click shut, I felt it was safe to step out of the shadows again.

***

Bill had come over early the next morning to help get Haley dressed so I had time for myself. I was shocked that Bill had gotten himself ready so fast. He said it was because he was awake most of the night due to Tom. But wasn't Tom by himself? Maybe Bill had come over later. Doesn't matter really though, because Bill won't tell me why he was with Tom. The only information I got out of him was that Tom just wanted to talk. I have no idea about what though.

"Hey Bill?" I stepped out of the bathroom, securing my hair in a ponytail. "Did you tell Tom that I was coming?"

Bill was messing around with Haley's curls, trying to see if they could do something else. "Yea. Why?"

"I don't know, it's just he seemed surprised to see Haley."

He looked up and smiled. "Well you'd be surprised too if a two year old suddenly attacked you out no where. Specially when its your two year old daughter that you've never met before."

"Well ya but… why didn't you tell him?"

"Tell him what?"

Looking in the mirror, I was satisfied with my appearance and joined Bill on the bed. "Tell him that Haley was coming along with me.

"Why would I have to tell him?" He asked. "Isn't it obvious? I mean why wouldn't you bring Haley?"

I shrugged. "I don't know. It just seems like he was uh… surprised."

"Why are you repeating yourself?" Bill laughed.

"Never mind."

***

"Tom!" Haley screamed at Tom with a bright smile. She stood in front of him and lifted her arms and made a grabbing motion with her hands. Tom groaned slightly and scooped her up into his arms. He didn't like to show or admit that he liked having Haley here, but I know he did. His whole attitude changed when she came around. Usually he wore a bored expression unless he going at it with the boys, but when Haley would ran up to him, he suddenly seemed happier. Even though most of the time he didn't know what the hel he was doing, he seemed to enjoy it.

I've been here for a few days now, not a whole lot has changed, except that Tom is hanging around Haley now. I think Bill gets jealous sometimes. He will be playing with Haley and as soon as Tom enters the room, she bolts to Tom, leaving Bill by himself. Bill tried to act like it didn't bother him, but I know it did, and I completely understand. The past few months, he's been the one there for Haley, and not Tom. So as soon as Tom enters the picture, Haley drops him for Tom.

Haley giggled and hugged Tom as soon as she was in his arms. Tom laughed but then frowned, picking at something in her hair. "What's this? A French fry?" He examined it before throwing it away and checked out her hair again. "How'd you get a fry in there?" Haley's hair was a mess of curls today. Normally they were nice curls, but Haley screamed any time anybody went near her hair with a brush today, so we left it tangled. She's going to suffer the consequences later, when I have to brush out the knots. I guess in a way it's my way of punishing her without yelling. She'll find out first hand that it's better to listen to mommy then be stubborn.

"I don't know." Haley laughed and threw her head back. "Spin me!"

Tom looked surprised. "What?"

Bill groaned. "Spin around really fast but make sure you are holding on to her back and legs."

"Umm… ok." Tom did as Bill said and began to spin Haley around. Haley laughs was infectious and soon Tom was laughing with her. "Ok… ok. I'm done." Tom said as he slowed down, tired and sat her on the ground.

Haley and I were watching the boy's photo shoot for a German magazine. Speaking of magazines, ever since I arrived in Europe my name has been mentioned in almost every article written about Tokio Hotel, specifically the twins. Nothing bad was written. Just the usual like how the boys are hanging around with me again, and that I've been MIA for almost three years. The magazines want to do a photo shoot with Haley and I, but I refuse. I will not let take pictures of Haley for money, nor do I want pictures to be taken of her. If the photographers get any picture of her, its when we are walking or going somewhere with the twins. Never directly at the camera. It still amazes me that the media has not accused the twins of being the father. Haley's face is very close to Bill and Tom's. It's a good thing though. I don't have to deal with rumors… for now.

***

"Animal crackers or goldfish?"

"Both!" Haley smiled, looking up from her tower of blocks she had just made.

"Ok." We came back from the photo shoot a few hours ago and had eaten dinner with the boys, but Haley was still hungry after eating a nice sized portion of spaghetti.

I had just grabbed both boxes out from under the TV cabinet, - we used that as storage/pantry – when I heard a knock at the door. I put the boxes on the bed before going to answer the door. Looking through the peephole, I could see Tom, standing with his hands in his pocket. I wondered what he wanted. "Hi." I said once I opened the door.

"Hey umm I, I mean Bill wanted to know if you wanted to go a club with us tonight?" He looked past me to see Haley on the floor.

"Why couldn't Bill just come and ask me himself?" I leaned against the doorframe with my arms crossed.

"You know Bill. He's getting ready to go. Could take ages. Gotta find the right shade of black."

I cracked a smile. The right shade of black, well according to Bill there is all different kinds. Onyx, coal, black patent etc… "Oh that's true huh… Um…" Clubbing actually sounded pretty fun at the moment. I've been so concentrated on Haley for the past few weeks; I haven't really gone and done anything for myself. Speaking of watching Haley… " You know I would love to go, but I can't. Someone's-"

"Georg will watch her." Tom finished for me.

"What?"

"You need someone to watch Haley right?"

"Yea."

"Georg will. He doesn't want to go clubbing tonight. Something about not feeling up to fending off girls or whatever. Like that would happen anyway." He smirked.

I laughed. "Oh he will? That's so sweet of him! But um… I mean is he even qualified to take care of a toddler?"

"What's could be so hard? Bill told me it's almost her bedtime anyway. All he has to do is get her ready for bed right? And then put her in the bed, and then he's good."

"Well, it's not quite that simple…" There was a lot more to it.

"Aww come on. Georg can handle it." Tom sounds like he actually wants me to go!

"Well, I uh… I guess I can go."

"Great!" He smiled, brushing past me into my room. Tom and I were beginning to talk, if you haven't noticed already. We weren't anything like we use to be, but I guess Tom realized that it's easier to be nice to me. A few times a day we would make light conversation, no texting though. If we talked, it was only in person, and very brief.

"Tomi!" Haley exclaimed when she saw him. "Look what I made!"

He squatted down to her level. "Oh that's a very nice uh castle!"

"It's not a castle! It's a dinosaur!" Haley pouted.

"Of course it is!" Tom looked back at me and raised an eyebrow. I just shrugged my shoulders and shook my head. "I was just kidding." I think Haley needs a teacher.

"Oh." Haley giggled and got up to give Tom a hug. She was a few inches from him when her left kicked the "dinosaur" sending the sculpture tumbling down. She started at the mess, her eyes welling up and then let out a big wail. "My dinosaur!" She cried and crashed onto Tom.

He tentatively wrapped an arm around her little body, and let the tears soak up his expensive looking, dark blue Pea Coat. "Umm… it's ok Haley…" He slightly turned around again and looked at me.

"Help her fix it." I mouthed.

He nodded and said, "Hey let's put it back together. Ya?"

Haley pulled away, rubbing her watery eyes, and sniffed. "Ok. She sat on the floor next to him and started stacking the blocks as Tom handed them to her. In a matter of moments the "dinosaur" was back. "Thank you Tom!" She jumped at him, this time missing the blocks and hugged him.

"You're welcome Haley." He smiled, but it didn't last long. Haley turned her head and planted a tiny kiss on Tom's cheek, which I could tell instantly shocked him. His whole body seemed to tense up, and his smile left. He started to get up, so Haley let go, and turned to look at me with wide eyes.

"I told you she likes you."

Tom stood there for a few more seconds and mumbled some agreement, and before I knew it, he was out of my room. I think Haley is starting to get to him.

***

With Bill, Tom, Gustav, David and a few bodyguards at our side, we entered the crazy nightclub, which held one of the last people I wanted to see.

Hmm… why was tom crying? I think he likes Haley. What do you think???

And what can happen at a nightclub when you are under the influence? Some crazy things, or some not so crazy things, or nothing crazy at all…

I was telling the people on twitter, one of the reasons it takes so long for me to post is because I'll have the chapter typed up, and then BAM I'll be hit with another idea and have to change the whole thing. It can be very frustrating at times. Thanks for sticking with me guys! I LOVE YOU!

And I love your reviews too :D