Authors' Note: America sure does love his hamburgers!
England took another sip of his tea as he stared the younger nation down.
"America, don't be coy now – do you have feelings for Russia?
"…I like the female Russia…but the male? I'm not too sure. I couldn't say I loved her yet, but I could definitely say that I like her. We do more than just screw, there are nights when we just sit and talk and to be fair, I prefer that to what we used to always do."
"If she was real, would you have a relationship with her? Like, a serious one?"
"Well yeah. But that's never gonna happen England – no matter how optimistic I am."
England gave a small smirk.
"You could be wrong there, America…what if I found a spell that could separate the female Russia from the male?"
America looked up expectantly, like a child who learnt that Christmas and Birthday had all come at once.
"You found one already?"
"No, but I will look as soon as I can."
The younger man had small tears threatening to spill at the corners of his eyes.
"Thank you so much dude! I can't tell you how much this means to me!"
"It's quite alright – I think this is a good thing for both of you. Russia gets his much-needed companionship and you finally get a girlfriend."
"Okay, okay, yikes, so I haven't had a true girlfriend before. But I've gotten laid countless times! Like this one time where I had this beautiful blonde-"
"America, if this is the story in which you took her back to your house and ate hamburgers off of her naked body, then I've heard it three times before."
"Naw dude, this is the other story in which I-"
England gave America a cold stare.
"I think I better be going now, I have to start looking in my old magic tomes and Lord knows that will take ages. What are you doing the rest of the day?"
"I might go visit Russia."
"…Just be careful and don't say something stupid."
"Will do! Uh, I mean won't do? Fuck you know what I mean."