Hey Guys! So I have been soooo excited about this upcoming chapter and was eager to post it, but first it had to be perfected! I couldn't just type out what I thought was okay, but had to get some help of some internet friends. I'm super excited for this and can't wait for some major reveals! Please enjoy, and thank you again benannahollars47 for your help! I hope this doesn't disappoint and does good to your great ideas!
Chloe remembered the day she met Beca vividly. There wasn't any doubt about any memory she had that day because she felt clarity the day she met Beca that they were gonna be friends. After exchanging names and Beca seeming initially cold towards her though, Chloe had wanted to make it her mission to befriend this young girl, though she wasn't sure where this drive was coming from. Chloe believed in God and that he brought people together, though she wasn't sure that she'd ever imagine just being naturally drawn to someone. She didn't think it would work out with Beca, but everything fell into place.
Suddenly Beca had felt a wave of nausea run over her as the words on her web search blur, struggling to refocus as she held her free hand over her mouth, feeling ready to hurl. She barely made it to the trash near the exit before leaning over to dry-heave over the clean tile floor, and soon she felt a soft hand over her back, and another gathering her hair behind her. As she regained her strength, and the wave passed, she turned, expecting to find Tommy's beefy hand helping her up, but was startled at the very least to find it wasn't.
As Chloe had walked towards the coffee shop that morning, carrying her bag over her shoulders, she watched in horror through the glass display, the young woman who had been quick on her feet to the garbage. She instantly felt a pull, gravitating towards her with a will to help. It didn't ever matter to Chloe that someone was a stranger because she believed that kindness was the best legacy.
The Bella's would come and go, but the one thing she wanted to leave behind from this college experience and in life was being the girl who was kind, and always went the extra mile, for friends and strangers. It was a simple gesture, but she never knew if it could mean the world to someone, or if it could change their lives.
Chloe smiled even as a shiver went down her spine. She knew well the saying "Don't cry because it's over; Smile because it happened." But she still couldn't help but fear what would happen if she hadn't made an effort, or if meeting Beca had been the only time they'd ever see each other. Of course she wouldn't know a difference if her life was different, but she couldn't help but think about the "butterfly effect" theory. If she had gone left instead of right, if she had ignored Beca, or hadn't sought her out after they met.
It was no coincidence that they were drawn together, they just didn't know why. Beca had let her walls down for someone to be her friend, even though she hadn't known the girl for more than a week before she agreed to let Chloe into her life, slowly but surely. But eventually Beca realized that she needed to let her in, because it wasn't only her life but her baby's. She wasn't in a position to shut others out and she learned that friendship and letting others care for you wasn't such a bad thing. Chloe had torn down her walls and Beca hadn't really made an effort to keep her from doing so.
"The coffee here isn't really that great." Chloe had smirked as she helped Beca back to her seat and offered her a napkin and water bottle.
"Yeah, thanks." Beca plainly responded, taking a sip from the water before pushing it aside.
In Kindergarten, you knew a kid for five seconds and you'd go home telling your parents that you made a friend. And the next day you'd make another, but the sad thing was, as you got older, you'd have less friends and it would be harder to keep them. But this time, there was no losing friends, no growing up. It was a leap of faith many adults did not have.
"I'm Chloe," Chloe had exclaimed before Beca distanced her chair from the Ginger's.
Beca had met Chloe and was reserved at first, but they she had slowly realized that Chloe wasn't just a Kindergarten friend. They had more in common than she thought, including David Guetta. There was always one thing that would kick off a friendship, and it clicked that you knew you needed the other person to be your friend, without sounding desperate. Or Cliche.
Beca had thought she had known at the time that any friendship couldn't possibly be a lasting one, because at the time her plans to drop out of college were already in play. She looked over to her browser, noticing the tabs of housing still open, and quickly pulled the cover closed before any questions would be asked by the nosy ginger.
"Look, it was nice to meet you but trust me, I'm not worth your time." Beca assures her politely, before turning her computer back to face only her.
But something that day had caused Beca to slightly let go of her attitude, and accept Chloe's openness towards Beca. Maybe it was because she was pregnant and she knew she needed people in her corner, but she felt like that sounded like she was using Chloe. So if it wasn't that, why did Beca open up so easily. Chloe had chipped away at Beca's walls so quickly, Beca didn't have time to cower in the corner.
"Wait," Beca called, ridden with guilt, and the Ginger turns slightly around.
"I'm Beca; Beca Mitchell." She forced a half smile, trying to make up for her unintentionally rude behavior.
There are people in everyone's life that you instantly feel connected to, not necessarily romantically, but you feel right away that you can trust them because they give off a certain aura, a disposition like no other. Like you just met the person but you had known them your whole life. The only way to describe it was like meeting your twin that had been separated from you at birth.
Why had something so familiar come from Beca's name, like something in her memory clicked? Chloe had quickly brushed it off because she didn't want to over analyze it, and figured that the girl might not want to be friends, but was worth the effort to get to know. Chloe felt that way towards everyone she met, and it wasn't a 'drawn to you because I knew I would marry you' kind of romantic draw. It was the whole "I've met you before" kind of draw, even though they hadn't.
Chloe smiled before quickly turning, scurrying out of the place with slightly less shame of her "No boundaries" like approach. She smiled to herself, realizing that there was something slightly different about this girl's rebellious like persona that made her unique in Chloe's eyes, someone she could see herself seeing more of.
Chloe left the shop feeling like she had missed something. She didn't know what it was, but she had to figure it out, because she craved to learn more in order to resolve this feeling. But she would forget about it soon, and soon became engrossed instead, in helping this young woman find her footing in the world. She was a lost college freshman drop out, and needed all the support and friends she could get. And honestly, Chloe was surprised when Beca let her in.
It wasn't until she began to learn more about Beca until she decided that she needed to look into resolving the lingering thoughts in the back of her mind. Beca had slowly began to open up to her, letting her into the little details of her family, and the bigger ones like considering adoption.
Beca was never entirely sure of what she wanted until the moment she held her daughter in her arms. She knew what everyone else wanted very clearly, but that didn't influence her, but only confuse her more. She didn't care what everyone else wanted because it wasn't their child, but it didn't stop them from putting in their two sense.
Her dad was passionate about adoption, but Chloe wanted to help her keep the baby, however, overall wanted her to do what's best. She gave Beca the option of staying and raising the baby, but it wasn't her decision. Beca could stay whether she kept the baby, or she could run. Chloe prayed every night that she would choose to stay, and from the day they met she wanted nothing but what was best for the alternative little woman.
Chloe never pushed Beca to keep the baby, but Beca valued her opinion. Chloe would state facts about adoption and facts about keeping the baby to the point where it was like she was an advocate, but it wasn't to change her mind. She wanted to help Beca, wanted to help make the decision easier, because she knew it all came down to Beca.
She vividly remembers having a conversation with Beca that ignited her own interest in adoption, and she remembered something she had found in high school that she decided one day she may pursue, but never really got the right information on, and wound up dropping it. She was now engrossed in helping her friend decide what she wanted because either decision would change their lives, and it made Chloe wonder how differently her life could have gone. She remembers the day their lives took a turning point.
Beca had anxiously tapped the counter with her nails, noting how the prenatal vitamins had turned her brittle and yellowish nails into hard and shiny, firm nail beds. She still gnawed at them despite Chloe' pleas to clip them, worried of infection. Beca would constantly and mindlessly scratch at her itchy stomach, just another side effect of pregnancy.
Beca found it nearly impossible to stop, her itching becoming a nervous tick at triggers such as stress, like when she was searching for hours on end in the corner of the cafe while Chloe was at school, looking for the right adoption agencies, before one day coming home, collapsing helplessly on the couch.
She had every reason in the world to put her baby up for adoption, at the same time she only had one reason to keep it. Then there was Chloe and her opinions. She would say what she thought, but wouldn't expect Beca to consider it seriously. She didn't want to confuse her, just wanted her to know the facts.
"Beca, you can't give up this easily, especially when you know it's the best thing given your situation." Chloe reminds her, gently rubbing her hand in gentle circles around Beca's back as she lay sideways on Chloe's lap.
Situation? What was Chloe's situation, or more importantly, things that had happened to her in the past? Did they shape her into who she was, how would her life be different if things hadn't happened the way they had? A spark had lit itself up in her brain, intriguing her interest into things even more, once again. Was her past influencing how she was talking to Beca about adoption? Did it have a hold over her and how she looked at and felt about adoption? She was definitely overly passionate about Beca's adoption.
"Doing the right thing hurts, especially when I have all the reason in the world to be hesitant. Don't you see this baby as a second chance?" She sighs, turning slightly to stare up at Chloe behind her.
"Beca, your parents not working out was no fault of your own. But this baby is coming into a single mother home, so really despite all the love you give him or her, they'd be better off in a home where the parents don't have to work two or three jobs just to support them. Don't you think that will make him or her feel unwanted?" Chloe infers.
Beca fixed her glare back to the ceiling, refusing to make eye contact as she bitterly turned from Chloe and crosses her arms over her chest, her lips unintentionally forming into a pout. She doesn't speak nor make eye contact, secretly hoping that Chloe would know just what to say.
"There's someone out there that can't have a child who wants a child, who has every right to care for and love a child, even if it isn't through flesh and blood. I promise, even though it hurts, you're doing the right thing by giving them and this baby a chance." Chloe adds after a few minutes of dead silence, Beca's glare fixed to the ceiling as tears stung the back of her eyes, widened with hurt and angst.
Looking back, this did seem like it was coming from a place of experience and knowledge in her heart, and maybe not knowing very much about herself and her past made Chloe want differently and better for Beca's baby. Her own confusion about her past and growing up not knowing who she really was made her only want to dig into Beca's adoption more because she felt like she had the control, the knowledge to give to Beca. But at the end of the day, everyone's life was different, and Beca shouldn't have to live out what Chloe shouldn't have if she didn't have the means to keep a child.
"Chloe, I don't want to put this baby up for adoption because that's what everyone thinks I should do, but because it's what i'm thinking is best, and right now, I'm not so sure."
She shook, her lips quivering as she bit back the tears, her walls being torn down by the most life changing events in her life, but she still had refused to show Chloe that at that moment, she was completely vulnerable and soft hearted, aching for someone to step in and take control.
"If only everyone could have their life together, this world would be an easy place, but it's not and now I'm pregnant and alone, clueless how to raise a baby, but torn between adoption and wanting a second chance to have my own family."
"Do what you think is best, the decision you won't regret, and don't hold yourself up to everyone else's standards or beliefs. Most people jump to the conclusion that adoption is necessary the minute they find themselves unexpectedly pregnant because they think it's the reasonable thing to do and they're afraid of what their family or society might think of them. They don't consider what they want, just what everyone else says is right." Chloe consoled her, running her fingers through the brunette's frizzy, two day old, curly hair.
That was it for Chloe, her aha! Moment. The moment that she realized that there was something about her past and what she did know from her parents that bothered her. That she was adopted because her biological parents couldn't keep her because they believed that that was what everyone else wanted to do.
They made the decision out of fear, and Beca was considering the same because she believed there was no other option or hope. She was too distracted on that thought that everyone believed that adoption was the only option and began to believe so herself. She was too distracted to realize that it was ultimately her life and the baby's life that mattered, and what they would endure. How it would change their lives, and whether or not Beca kept the baby, or would pursue adoption but still want to be in the baby's life. If she'd leave it up to the child to come find her one day.
She wanted to believe that her parents, whoever they were, pursued an open adoption because they did care to know her in the future and see who she had become. To see and be reassured that the adoption was the right thing when they hopefully met her one day. They took a leap of faith with only a hope that she'd come back.
They weren't afraid to meet her, they were only afraid how she would react. They wouldn't be there to see her find out she was adopted, but they would be there when she would seek them out. They hoped that if she had decided to look into her past she'd be grateful her parents didn't leave an empty page, something necessarily missing. They could've taken off that day, left her nothing of them, but they were gracious enough to leave her something.
Chloe didn't actually know if she had ever wanted to seek them out, a very broken piece of her wondered if they cared even to meet her. She wondered why they didn't want her other than the fact that they were young. That was all her parents told her; They were two teens from broken homes, and gave her away.
Her parents adopted her and the rest was history for Chloe. But there was more, she could feel it, or maybe there wasn't. But something about Beca reignited that interest in knowing. Maybe Chloe knowing more about herself could help her connect and talk to Beca. But Beca couldn't know because she didn't want her to feel guilted into keeping it or to think Chloe was trying to sway her or influence her decision with a guilt factor.
"As much as I'm open to the idea of raising this baby, this is not how I'd expected to do it. And after graduation, where will we go?" Beca had wondered.
"Here, of course." Chloe chimed in before Beca could finish her thought. "Joining the Bellas and using music as an escape. It's changed my life, I swear." Chloe winks.
"Chloe, I'm scared, and clueless; I'm a mess." Beca began to sob, shamefully burying her head into the pillow beside her.
Beca hated to admit when she truly needed help, but Chloe had already known, and accepted her despite the fact that Beca herself felt like dead weight around the house. She didn't believe Beca was dead weight, in fact she was a blessing. God brought her into Chloe's life to spark that interest, and open a few doors along the way to bring peace to Chloe and her past. So Chloe went ahead and decided to pursue it after that day.
Chloe had been acting weird for weeks, and Heaven only knew what Chloe was up to. Beca was told she was going out her mind just like Aubrey, going to and attending different meetings to see if she could recruit anyone. She'd bring a bunch of flyers, go class to class, or interrupt meetings to announce that the girls were holding auditions that fall. She was under a lot of stress lately, not entirely distant, but not entirely "all there" either. After Aubrey had puked again at the finals, things were not looking up for the girls.
"Are you sure you're gonna be okay here, while I'm gone? I know Aubrey can seem cold sometimes, but that's just because she feels like everything in her life is out of control right now. It's not you, I promise."
"I'll be fine." Beca grabs her laptop from the floor, logging in as she plops back down on the couch with Chloe's assistance aiding her large belly down.
Beca wondered what was so important the day that she had been in labor with Penelope that Chloe had wandered off to. She was sure Chloe was going to have a nervous breakdown if she couldn't get anyone to join the Bella's the next fall because then they'd be over as an organization. But she still had four months before auditions and before they could technically practice (though they could hold team meetings during the summer and 'boot camps') for the next season. What was the hurry? Was it Beca and the baby? Was there a reason like they couldn't live there if Chloe wasn't on the team? That didn't seem logical but Beca dismissed it as another crazy Chloe tick. It decided wasn't weird or suspicious, it was just Chloe obsessive.
Now that Penny was two months old and Chloe's camp was about to start that night, she wondered if she could do anything productive in her meantime while Chloe was away. She wondered if she could help organize anything, or if she would just mix samples for Chloe to determine if she wanted in the set. She had agreed out of pure boredom, (and the fact that it pained Beca to see her amok in the house after practice) so that maybe the aura of the house could go back to somewhat normal.
Beca herself had been feeling a little hormonal after becoming a mom and often faced mood swings that would feel debilitating at times when intense frustration at the fact that Penny wouldn't eat would turn into sadness. Beca had felt so angry that Penny wouldn't take her milk and so guilty as if she was doing something wrong, that she had spaced herself from the little girl. Beca had set her in her pack n' play and set out the front door and down to the curb, locking herself out until she calmed down.
She felt guilty because she had reached the point of rage where she had needed to step away, but she also knew she had done the right thing. Every parent grew frustrated, especially with sleep deprivation factored in. She had heard stories of women shaking their babies in anger and had resolved her frustration simply by going outside. Beca would never hurt Penny, there was no doubt in her mind, but she would feel very angry where she had come close to shatter the glass bowl in her hand on the floor.
"Beca?" Chloe asked, backpack on her shoulders as she prepared to walk to the lecture hall that evening.
"What's wrong?! Where's Penny?" She feared, looking back inside and wondering how she could've missed that Beca wasn't there.
Chloe set her bag on the curb, sitting beside Beca and pulling her into her arms. Beca had been sitting with her head in her knees for at least fifteen minutes and felt terrible that Penny was in there, crying herself to sleep in anger. She had been trying to get that stubborn little girl to sleep for about two hours, but couldn't figure out what else could be wrong. So she threw her arms up in defeat and walked out, cursing herself for being so sassy as as child and for the grief she gave her parents because now, she felt like this was karma. Beca was in tears at the edge of the curb, the passersby-ers staring as they made their way to extracurricular activities.
"I'm just feeling overwhelmed, because nothing I do is making that little girl stop crying." She sobbed, feeling a little embarrassed even though she knew she shouldn't.
"Beca, it's okay; It's completely normal to feel that way, not just because of hormones, but because of everything you're keeping inside. It's a lot to take on as a new mom, and no one is expecting you to know all the answers, but if you don't tell us what's wrong, we can't help you."
Chloe pulled Beca into her lap, rubbing her back as she let her heavily sob for a few more minutes before looking at her phone. She then helped Beca up, supporting her weight as Beca leaned on her shoulder, walking in with Chloe's arm around her waist. She was exhausted to the point where she fell asleep the second her head hit the couch pillow, and Chloe covered her up with the duvet on the back of their couch.
Aubrey was in the other room studying, headphones blaring where even Chloe could hear them over Penny's crying. Chloe wasn't sure if Beca was trying to let her cry it out or if she was so tired she didn't hear it, but she knew if she woke up and Penny was still crying, Beca wouldn't forgive herself for falling asleep. So Chloe went into the bedroom, picking her up from her crib and covering herself and Penny with her favorite, pink textured blanket, slightly worn from the church donation center, but still in perfect condition for a hand me down.
"Shh…" Chloe cooed softly, knowing that babies responded best to shushing because it simulated the loud sound they'd hear in the womb.
Chloe felt herself relax as Penny started to calm, fighting sleep but not Chloe as Chloe offered her her nuk. She adored how someone so tiny had such a hold on her heart and emotions, how she could have such a tiny little hand wrapped around her finger. It amazed her to think this beautiful little being came from something so dark and ugly and twisted. It just proved to her that God made something so ugly so so good.
"C'mon you little stink bug, we've gotta get going." Chloe bounces her in her arms, not wanting to let go to set her down.
Beca snored loudly in the other room, which only proved to Chloe how out of it she really had been. She was emotionally exhausted, not only from being a mother, but from being too stubborn to make up with her dad. Chloe heard the angry phone calls at night, where Beca would argue and cry because she didn't know how to cope with something she had been going through, and she didn't know how to talk about it either. Her father had seemed like a (mostly) sensible man, once he got over the initial shock of something.
Whatever was bothering Beca, Chloe wished that she could try to help with instead. But she only heard one side of the conversation, the side in which Beca seemed frustrated and hurt that such a thing had been kept from her, whatever that thing was. She and Aubrey spent many nights discussing it long after she went to sleep, but Aubrey was usual half asleep when they talked about it, and Chloe was left alone with her thoughts.
Of course Chloe had a lot going on too, so she didn't get much sleep at night. The summer camp would be the only thing that helped her let go a little bit. Not that she didn't love having Beca around, she just hated seeing Beca upset and not being able to help her. Chloe would suggest many times for Beca to talk to her dad, but Beca would dismiss those thoughts, always pretending to be occupied with fiddling with baby bottles as she struggled to clean them.
But after seeing Beca crying like that, it was the final straw. Chloe had to pick up her phone and make some calls. She had to help Beca but the only way to do that was for Beca to want to help herself. She wouldn't push Beca to talk to her dad, but she wouldn't sit back and watch her cry most of the day, everyday.
Beca needed a mommy support group, an outlet where other moms could understand,and Chloe knew they had that on campus, so she would pick Beca up some information in the way home. Of course she wasn't gonna force her to go, but maybe she needed reassurance from someone who was a mom, and maybe if she tackled one thing that she was upset about, she would be more encouraged to fix her problems with her dad.
"Oh, we've gotta go Punchkin." Chloe suddenly notes as her phone alarm vibrates, warning her that she had to leave or she'd be late.
Chloe swaddled Penny in her blanket and set her into her swing out in the living room so that Beca could hear when she woke up. She prayed that Penny would stay asleep so Beca could catch some rest and Aubrey could study, and she wouldn't come home to Beca crying, Aubrey being crabby, or them arguing. Then she made off down the street, engulfed in her thoughts as she wandered through campus. Classes were done for the day, and the streets and pathways were busy, the quad now consumed with busy bodies chanting and screaming, laughing in humor as they hung out in their own little spots. Chloe was saddened to think that Beca would never have this experience if she didn't put herself out there, but she knew Beca was also more reserved and wouldn't be caught dead in these kinds of friend groups anyways. So Chloe instead focused her thoughts on the contents of her bag, recalling if she had everything until she finally reached her destination.
Beca snorted as she woke up suddenly, frantically looking around as she tried to recall the events leading up to her falling asleep on the couch. She knew she had been upset, and had needed space, and Chloe had given her that. She didn't exactly know what the had talked about because she had been engrossed in her all encompassing tears.
She saw her phone on the table, lighting up with notifications when she finally turned it on. It was one from her dad that had finally caught her eye that she had been neglecting to open for a week now, and before deleting it, she had thought of something Chloe had said.
"We're your family Beca, we're all you've got and hopefully all you need. We want to help you, but you need to help yourself. You don't have to have a relationship with your dad, but it sure will help to have him on your side. But first you guys need to talk, and understand your differences, try to work them out. He wants what's best for you, he wants you to understand that. He was never trying to upset you, only help you see the bigger picture, whatever that may be."
Beca believed that maybe her dad had good incentive why Beca should have put the baby up for adoption, or maybe he was stuck in the idea that what worked for him would be great for her. After all, he did end up attending college and marrying her mother, and now her father was a professor and had allowed Beca a free ride. She had felt like the minute she was pregnant that she had to give that up, even though it was free. She wondered if she had to work for it if she would have appreciated it more.
Beca knew her dad wanted her to attend college even if that wasn't what Beca initially wanted. He had given her an ultimatum to eventually move to L.A to pursue her dreams but had given that up because she believed she couldn't be a mother and a producer. She seemed to think very little of herself and pushed away people that had tried to show they cared, and it was very lonely. She hadn't realized how lonely it was to the full extent though until she had felt isolated as a mother.
Beca opened the text from her dad and typed at least eight different responses in her head before finally deleting it and opening her email instead. Inside she found that Chloe had forwarded her info about a mother group on campus that Beca thought was pointless and out of her comfort zone. She didn't want to surround herself with a bunch of mothers who would complain about exhaustion when most of them had planned for their babies, so Beca believed they should have known what they were getting into.
Chloe hoped Beca's perspective would change when she went to at least one session, but Beca really was on the fence. She needed a different perspective on motherhood and it would probably feel good to talk about the root of her problems. But her issues ran so deep she didn't know where to start, so she decided to start with her dad. She would take him up on his offer and come over to sit down, to ask him what she should do moving forward.
She knew deep down Chloe was right, and if Chloe knew about the whole adoption thing, it would be easier to talk about it. But Chloe didn't know about it, Beca wasn't even sure Chloe knew she was adopted. And Beca thought it would be best to come from her father on what to do, to see if he wanted to talk to Chloe about it instead of Beca. Or maybe he would have advice on how to talk about it. She knew her dad would know what to do, but he also didn't really know Chloe that well. It didn't hurt to talk about how she felt about it, then asses the situation from their.
So Beca pulled on her boots and army green jacket over her crusty, spit up stained pajama top, and gathered Penny's things and carrier too. She gently hoisted the sleeping baby from her swing and into her carrier, bundling her up with blankets that she tucked around the tiny girls body to keep her warm in the cool spring night. Lastly, she picked up Penny, sliding her carrier on her arm and made her way down the walkway to her dad's house.
Her heart palpitated in her chest, anxiously rehearsing in her head what she would say and simultaneously praying that he wouldn't be there. She knew that he was, that wishing he was there was only wishful thinking, but she didn't know how to start the conversation, especially since he wasn't expecting her to show up since she hadn't any other time he offered, and the text had been from a week before. But today felt different, like she was finally reaching the bottom of the hole she had been digging, and the only way from then on was up.
When she reached his front door her hands were hot and clammy, despite the weather being cold, and her arm ached from carrying Penny across campus. She heard footsteps approaching the door and soon saw his surprised, bearded expression before turning into a warm, kind of nervous smile. He was pleasantly surprised to see her,
"Beca," He drawed out, trying not to make it obvious that he was surprised.
"What are you doing here? I mean, not to say I'm not glad to see you, but I'm definitely surprised." He added to cover up her nervousness.
"Dad, I know I've been distant lately, and haven't really been listening to what you've needed to say, and that's kinda unfair. But I'm hear, so let's hear what you've gotta say so that we can get this awkwardness over with a be civil."
Beca hadn't meant to sound so obtuse and insensitive, but she had felt a little strange standing unannounced at her father's doorstep near sunset. And he certainly hadn't expected it either, causing dead air between the two.
"Look Beca, I'm glad you came, I really am. But with finals and all the papers I need to grade…" He began to concoct and Beca sighed, feeling a stinging embarrassment.
She had felt silly for even trying to make up with her father, and even more foolish for showing up unexpectedly. She got it, he was beginning to give up on her and she wanted better than that. She would just go home and curl up, snuggling Penny as she silently cried in anger. He really didn't want to talk it out with her, it might have been too late.
"No, I get it… I shouldn't have come." She admits in defeat.
"No, it's not that Beca. It's just a bad time. We'll talk, I promise. How about tomorrow for dinner? You and Penny and your friends can come? Bring Chloe!" He feigns an enthusiastic smile and Beca backs off.
"Um, okay? Tomorrow then." She agrees, turning as he closed the door.
Beca wasn't satisfied with that answer, wasn't satisfied with the visit at all. She had gotten them to have a dinner and sit down with him, yet something unsettling about sitting down, especially with Chloe, made it weird and made her feel uneasy. She wasn't satisfied with talking tomorrow when she had told herself today, she wasn't gonna settle for tomorrow only to chicken out and change her mind. So she did something a little bold and turned back around, demanding more of what she came for. She was gonna corner him in his own home and get answers. Why wouldn't he answer now? Why wouldn't a good father put down his grading papers to talk?
Beca pushed open the front door with more aggression than she had intended, a very obnoxious announcement of her arrival inside, as if she was leading an army. She saw her father around the corner of the hallway, pen in his hand as he was going through a file of papers, and he really was going through grading his work. She felt defeated, embarrassed, and now he would have a dent in his wall where Beca had pushed the door open.
"Beca?" He looked shocked, glaring at her over the rim of his reading glasses.
"You really were grading papers?" She deadpanned, her voice shrinking she prayed she would disappear with it.
It was then, the biggest turning point in her life equal to what a climax in a movie would be. As he approached her and handed her a folder and offered her to sit down at the table. But when she got to the table she couldn't breathe, couldn't feel anything anymore, and it felt as if anything he was saying was muted. She couldn't hear a thing except for her heart pounding in her chest as she shakily opened the papers in the folder, matching her exact suspicion and expectations.
It was a sudden phrase uttered into the air though that had brought her back…
"Beca, why didn't you tell me that we were sisters?" She heard the familiar voice ask and her heart had felt as if it had been shot by the ginger's innocence.