A/N: sorry about delay, I've been unbearably busy lately :( a LOT of work to do ;_; still erm...yea here's the next chapter, thank you to my gorgeous beta for her extra help in this! and erm...yea, sorry I'm very ugh right now, unable to focus blagh! I love you all and please enjoy this chapter xx
...
Blaine didn't sleep more than about three hours, tossing and turning all night. He couldn't get the taste, the feel, the smell of Kurt out of his head for the life of him. How could something that felt so right could be so wrong? Why did it have to hurt so many people? It just didn't make sense. Laying on the bottom bunk, Blaine stared at the pile of clothing he had shed before getting under his blankets. He could see Kurt's black tank top on the top of the heap. Quickly, he reached out and snagged it, bringing it into the bed with him. He stashed it under his pillow, winding his hand through the soft material in attempt to comfort himself. Blaine had no idea he was going to be this bad off in such a short period of time, but he was. There was no question in his mind. He had fallen completely, head over heels in love...with his 'brother'.
The next morning, Blaine awoke to the knock of the bedroom door.
"Wake up, sleepyhead," Dylan said, ducking under the bunk and nudging Blaine with his hand.
"Hrrumpf..." Blaine said from under the blanket. He had just gotten to sleep, or that was what it felt like.
"Blaine, wake up...it's Dad," he repeated, pulling on Blaine's duvet.
"Mmmm... didn't sleep well...ten more minutes," Blaine said automatically.
"Ten more minutes and you just might miss your chance to get a new car. Can't sleep your life away, son..." Dylan said and Blaine's eyes sprung open. He hadn't forgotten.
"Car?" Blaine said hoarsely, peeking out from under the warm covers.
"Meet me downstairs, twenty minutes..." Dylan said with a wink.
Glancing at his cell, Blaine could see it was only just after nine.
"Dad, most places won't be open yet," he said, trying to get a few more moments of rest.
"Tick tick tick tick..." Dylan said as he ducked out of the room. "Twenty minutes..."
When the door shut with a click, Blaine stretched long, moaning loudly as his muscles clenched. He felt almost sore, must have been all the dancing last night.
Opening his eyes, he focused on the springs of Kurt's bed over him. He didn't even want to rehash anything about the night before. Was Kurt up there? Or was he still on the couch downstairs?
Pushing himself out of the bed, Blaine stood up, stretching again with a yawn as he looked on the top bunk. He sighed when he saw it was empty and still stripped of Kurt's pillow and duvet. He hadn't come to bed after all.
Blaine tried to push Kurt and everything from his mind as he quickly showered and got ready to go.
As he bounced down the stairs, he could hear bustling activity in the kitchen and cartoons on the television at a volume that should be illegal before ten a.m. He surveyed the scene and saw that Kurt was nestled in a ball trying to sleep on the sofa while Kaylee was sitting up on top of him, on his hip. She had her blanket and was happily sucking her thumb. It was an awkward position, and from the look on Kurt's face, it couldn't have been comfortable.
"Freya, please turn Spongebob down," Elizabeth said with a sigh, talking to her tween daughter, who was not even attempting to get Kaylee to stop bothering Kurt and let him sleep.
"Spongeybob!" Kaylee said with excitement around her wet thumb. Maddie squealed from her high chair in time almost with Kaylee, and Blaine cringed. And he reminded himself for the millionth time that he would think twice before having children when he grew up.
Blaine tore his eyes reluctantly away from Kurt's half asleep form to meet his father's eyes.
"So I'm gone a week and you've turned into a blueberry, and managed to get into some kind of altercation," Dylan said with a frown and his eyebrows raised now that he could see Blaine in the light.
"I think his hair looks nice," Elizabeth said as she sliced a banana for Maddie, putting it on her high chair.
"If you like that sort of thing," Dylan retorted.
"I caught an elbow in gym, Dad, it's no big deal." Blaine responded as he picked up an apple from the fruit bowl on the table. Maddie held out her hands, squeezing the two slices of banana she had in each hand and giggling when it slipped through her fingers.
"I see," Dylan said quietly.
"You should have seen some of the hairdos I've gone through with Kurt," Elizabeth commented. "This looks like a Harvard prep school candidate compared to that," she grinned, winking at Blaine. "Kurt... get up! Sophie needs her breakfast!" She yelped into the living when the labrador scratched on the back door.
...
Kurt had not slept at all that night. The couch was not comfortable, and there was a particular spring sticking into his back. The entire night he was haunted with thoughts of Blaine and the taste and touch of him, their time at the beach, and that tender kiss before he left for bed. No one had ever kissed him like that, not even Quinn. It was different. Blaine was different.
The young man had only managed to slip in and out of day dreams rather than real sleep and almost on the dot of 7:30 the noise began in the house, like every morning, when he heard Maddie upstairs screaming for food, sobbing and crying out for some nutrition.
This woke Kaylee, of course, who insisted on coming down with her mommy and baby sis and instantly decided that Kurt needed some waking up too. But luckily his mother was pretty good about all this and closed the door of the living room so the girls couldn't get to their brother.
Elizabeth decided that after his exciting night of performing yesterday, he mustn't have been able to sleep a wink. She was proud of him; he was doing what he loved, which was more than his mother did with her life.
Peace didn't seem to last long, or at least not long enough for Kurt, and the young man was tormented just over an hour later when Freya opened the door dressed in her horrific Twilight nightshirt and pink slippers, cereal in her hand and began to watch Nickelodeon full blast, leaving the door open for the invading four year old, Kaylee.
Peace was not something Kurt got an awful lot around here, and he had to savor any moment of quiet, but he wasn't getting that now. His head pounded from the alcohol and pot from last night, and his heart still ached every time he thought of Blaine, and the fact that the shirt he wore was his brother's, and the scent of him was not helping matters.
He tried to swat Kaylee off his body, but the young girl grinned and bounced on his bony form, yelling "BOUNCY, BOUNCY, BOUNCY!" She didn't like that her big brother was asleep and wouldn't play with her. She begged him to play 'hoppy-tal', she even had her stethoscope around her neck, but when Kurt covered himself more with his duvet, rather than lift up his shirt so she could listen to his heart, she grew frustrated.
Dylan's arrival just added to the noise, and then Blaine entering was the icing on the cake. Kurt really wanted to disappear now, sink into the folds of the couch and never appear again. He covered the duvet over his head as his mother screamed for him to feed the dog.
Sighing, the young man stood after easing Kaylee off his lap and stretched. He waited for some moments, just laying on the couch before he got up and sauntered through the kitchen to get to his dog. He didnt even acknowledge Blaine.
Sophie jumped upon her owner, trying to lick him with gratitude, but Kurt just swore to himself as the stupid, loyal pup still panted and darted around him happily.
"Stupid dog." Kurt mumbled, getting her a bowl of kibble and walked back into the house. He felt like shit, and knew he needed a shower. Elizabeth looked back to him, some waffles on a plate in her hand.
"Kurt," She said gently. "Please, have some breakfast with us."
"Errrr…" Kurt mused, looking into the cabinet above the sink for some painkillers. "I already ate before you got up." His lie was downright pathetic, and Elizabeth rested the pancakes on the table before resting her head in her hands. She didn't know what she'd do with him. "I'm going to have a shower," Kurt said, kissing his mother's cheek and walking off, not seeing the worry written all over her face.
Blaine was relieved to have some quiet when he folded himself in the car with Dylan shortly after breakfast. It was too much with all of the girls in the morning. He honestly didn't know how Kurt managed. He looked ahead as Dylan darted around some mild traffic toward the car dealership. His father prattled on about what he had read online about the car dealer, and what cars he thought would be appropriate for Blaine's first vehicle.
Pretty much set on getting a Jeep Wrangler, the young man still felt like he had to convince his father. He knew Dylan thought Jeeps were extravagant and more of toy than an actual car, but he was going do his best to talk him into it.
...
Quinn was texting Kurt like mad all morning long, and when it hit straight up noon, she decided to call him instead. She started to freak out when he wasn't answering his phone, and after leaving the third voicemail with no response, she gave up and headed over to the Hummel home.
She dressed in jeans and halter top, walking the three streets over in her flip flops. She always tried to dress more conservative when she went to Kurt's, as she was already quite aware of how much Elizabeth disliked her. But she was not about to sit home and let Kurt ignore her for one second longer.
...
Dylan knew Blaine had his heart set on a Jeep, but he really wasn't pushed on the idea. He believed a more practical car would suffice, but he also knew as soon as they got there, Blaine would beg and plead, reason, and argue to get that Jeep.
They reached the garage, all the cars new and shiny displayed in the windows on pedestals that held them in strange positions facing upward and sideways. Dylan pulled up the car and watched Blaine get out, eyes wide like a kid in a candy store. He closed and locked his own car and smiled at his son.
"Excited?" He asked remembering the thrill of his first car.
...
Kurt saw Quinn coming up the driveway from his room, but just laid back in Blaine's office chair and ignored her. He wasn't in the mood for her shit right now.
His mom was out shopping with Maddie, and Freya was downstairs with the hyperactive Kaylee, he was here if she needed help. He could hear Freya downstairs opening the door, probably unsure if she should be talking to the 'bad influence' that was Quinn. Still, that didn't stop the young woman storming up the stairs and bursting into Kurt's room. He wasn't impressed.
"Gee... you'd think after an entire morning of ignoring calls and texts you'd get the message." He said sarcastically, flicking through some of Blaine's art books, marveling at how incredibly talented he was.
...
"Big time," Blaine said, puffing out his chest as he looked at the high end versions of the car he wanted on display. "Look how cool it looks, Dad... how can I get anything else?"
"Blaine, it's just not practical..." Dylan began.
"You two have your eye on something?" the salesman walked up to the father and son team, introducing himself as Scott.
"Well, he does," Dylan said looking at Blaine, who was busy walking around the brand new Jeep in the show room, running his fingers along the perfect paint and peering inside.
...
"Kurt... I have been worried sick! Why do you always ignore me like that?" The pink haired teen exclaimed, pushing her tiny form between Kurt and the desk.
Kurt was still gazing down at the drawings. Nude drawings. And they caused him to chuckle softly as he imagined an awkward teen Blaine trying to draw the human form. For a moment, he considered if he modelled for him, but then he remembered last night, and how he was still pissed off at Blaine. Quinn was talking to him with an air of hysteria in her voice and he shook his head, looking up to her.
"Am I not allowed some 'me' time?" He asked. "Don't tell me you have never ignored my calls, Quinn…especially when you're….you know….on your 'moody time'."
...
Dylan frowned and looked at his son examining the Jeep with such enthusiasm. His first car had been a hand me down from his big brother, but he loved it. He contemplated having Blaine learn the value of a dollar, and doing the same by getting him some old banger, but he wanted his boy to have the best of things as well. And there was no denying the spark in his eyes as he gazed at the car, and caressed it like a fine woman.
Blaine glanced over at his Dad talking to the salesman and hoped that he looked pitiful enough for his father to give in. He had seen a dark red Jeep on the front lot which was beyond sweet. He decided leaving Dylan with the salesman was the best plan as he opened the car door and hoisted himself inside behind the wheel. 'It's so fresh and new-smelling,' he thought with a smile as he adjusted the rearview mirrors to fit his height. He wanted a five speed though, and knew his Dad would have to teach him to drive it. It seemed just too girly to have an automatic car.
...
"Oh, fuck you, Kurt... you know that's not what this is about!" She climbed up onto the desk and knocked the sketchbook Kurt was thumbing through aside. But before it moved all the way across the desk, her eyes fixed on the drawings. "Is that Blaine's? Are you going through his stuff now?"
Kurt looked to Quinn and back to the book she knocked from his hands. He picked it back up and rested it upon his lap, closed, and shrugged, looking to her with a bored expression.
"It's my room, too." He said, hands in the air as the chair he was sitting on spun slowly around with the help of his foot. "No secrets in my room." Quinn stretched out and stopped the spinning and he glared at her. "Okay, Quinn…enlighten me…what do YOU think this is all about?"
...
Dylan spoke in a hushed tone with the sales rep about the price of the jeep and there was no denying it was pricey. It wasn't like he couldn't afford it, but he wasn't sure if he should just splash out $28,000 on his son like this. He asked for some time to think about it and walked back to where his son was, but he wasn't there. Instead, Blaine was in the dark red jeep, trying it out, and the moment Dylan saw his face, he knew this would be the car Blaine was getting.
...
"Just cut the shit, Kurt. What's going on with you and Blaine?" Quinn said, putting her foot on his chair so he couldn't spin anymore. She stared hard at him, wanting him to look her in the eye and tell her nothing was going on. But the teen didn't say anything, only pushed out of the chair and walked over toward the dart board he had on his closet door, taking the plastic darts out and backed up to throw them.
Quinn watched him carefully, seeing how he was avoiding looking at her. She knew what this meant. It was way worse than she thought. He was definitely crushing on Blaine. She had seen it before. Although it was the worst case of crushing she had seen to date.
"You're in love with him, aren't you?" she croaked, her voice cracking. But her question came out just as he threw the dart and Kurt's aim took a wrong turn and went straight into the wall next to the closet, missing the board all together.
Kurt's mind completely slipped when Quinn accused him of loving Blaine. Love? No, no way. Love was a stupid word people used to get laid, it didn't mean anything. Look at his mom, she had been in love plenty of times and every time she just got more and more hurt. He didn't want to confront this, not this feelings. Anything but them.
"God dammit, Kurt, answer me!" Quinn snapped, and he looked over his shoulder to the young, pretty girl and shrugged.
"I want to fuck him!" He said, voice a lot stronger than he expected. "The same way you wanted to do it last night, it's nothing more, Quinn. I don't do love!" He could see her go to protest and he sighed, turning around. "Look...I love you…as a friend! A friend! Nothing more, and you don't love me as anything more either because we've both cheated and we've both lied. You're my best friend, Quinn, so I'm not gonna sugar coat it. You and I have no romantic future…and neither do me and Blaine!"
Quinn huffed as Kurt's words hit home. The truth was, he was wrong about her loving him. Being in love with him. She was and would always will be. But she knew very well that he could never reciprocate the kind of feelings she knew she had for him. She had always known. Not that it helped, or made things easier.
Big tears welled in her eyes and dropped down her cheeks. He could deny a million things but Kurt, bottom line, was a horrible liar. And what she had seen last night was a perfect example of that.
"Well, fuck him then," Quinn said, sniveling and pissed off at herself for getting upset. "What are you waiting for?"
Kurt knew what he said was pretty much cruel to the young girl, and he did love her, but just not the way she wanted. Quinn was his best friend, nothing more and he was tired of her following him around like a puppy at times. It was time to stop stringing her along. He didn't want to lose her friendship, but he didn't want her hoping someday he'd love her and getting hurt if they continued whatever this was.
"Quinn, maybe you should just leave." He suggested, looking to her. "Evidently I'm not exactly in a social mood." He collapsed back on the seat and pulled back Blaine's sketchpad as Quinn just stared at him, teary eyes, unable to say another word before she rushed out of the room.
...
"Like it, don't you?" Dylan asked, startling Blaine's inventory of the car. Blaine was grinning like mad.
"What's not to like, Dad? It's perfect. Exactly what I wanted," he said, his hand sliding over the vinyl steering wheel.
Dylan smiled and watched his only son light up with excitement. It had been a long time since he had seen Blaine this happy. He knew it had been hard on him, moving, leaving his school and friends, all for his happiness. How could he not buy this for him?
"I'm gonna go settle up..." Dylan said, consenting to the gift.
"Seriously, Dad?" Blaine said, his voice squeaking a bit.
"You've more than earned it. Although, I hope you aren't gonna make this blue a permanent change," he gestured to his son as he winked.
"No, sir," Blaine said with a large, animated smile.
"Well, don't drive off or anything. We still have to get it insured," he told him as he walked away to find the salesman.
Dylan would spend quite some time on the paperwork, but he knew it was worth it. It had been so long since Blaine smiled, he deserved a little happiness. From what he understood, Blaine wasn't exactly getting along with Kurt, and he didn't have many friends in school, so he thought he'd spoil him this once and get him the extravagant car.
It took about three hours to complete all the paperwork for the new vehicle and call the insurance agent to add the car to Dylan's policy before they could leave the dealer. Dylan took Blaine for a burger in his new car afterwards and the two sat inside the fast food joint and talked.
It had been a long time since they had spent quality time together like this. But Blaine knew it was because of the huge purchase his father had just made for him. Dylan enjoyed buying him things, always had. But the elder man had a bad habit of holding things over Blaine's head, and using guilt for all his gifts to control his son. Most of the time, Blaine didn't mind, but it was something that irritated the teen. It almost took away the joy of the gift in the first place.
Blaine had managed to forget Kurt, as well as all of his other issues, for a brief period while purchasing the car with his father, but now that they were heading home, he could already feel the dread. He texted Brad and Rob to let them in on the new set of wheels Dylan had bought him, and he also sent a text to Sam, inviting him to the movies tonight. He wanted to show off his car, even though he couldn't drive it yet. And he really didn't want to be home, or anywhere near Kurt.
Elizabeth, Freya and Kaylee were in the front yard when Blaine and Dylan pulled into the driveway. Freya's eyes were huge when Dylan broke the news about Blaine's new car, and Elizabeth hugged Blaine's neck, congratulating him on his first vehicle. She wished that she could have indulged Kurt with such a great first car, but the teen had been dead set on buying his own wheels with his own money. She hoped her son wasn't too jealous as she cast her eyes up to his window. Even though his blinds were closed, she could see him peering down at them. It hurt her heart to think about how much Kurt would have loved a car like that. But hopefully the boys would come to enjoy each other's company like proper family, and could have fun together in it.
Kurt gazed out from upstairs, peering down at the group below. For a long moment, he only had eyes for Blaine, and his heart gripped. That smile on his face was so beautiful and genuinely happy; and why not, the vehicle Dylan had given him was incredible. The jealousy was only overshadowed by the longing as he looked to Blaine smiling. He never saw him smile like that, and he realized that Blaine was a person who liked material things. Kurt couldn't even afford himself a fucking guitar stand for his baby. He could never make Blaine smile like that.
Then he looked back to the shiny red jeep, lingering on the paintwork, which was totally new and shimmering in the sun. He remembered how his own came with chipped spots and such. He would have loved a car even one tenth as nice as Blaine's, but he only had his jalopy. It hadn't exactly been a case where he wanted to get his own car, but he could have never taken his mother's money. She needed that for the family. Before Dylan came, she was the woman who cut out vouchers and coupons, and knew how to save.
Now, Dylan was just able to get her everything and make her smile, like Blaine, with his money. He wasn't used to getting it for himself, usually most of it went to his mother, but she didn't need it now, she didn't need him anymore. He was fucking useless now that she had Dylan to pay for things, and Blaine to be the perfect son.
Come this summer, he'd be back working; and he really didn't know what he would do with the money. He felt the hot saline brim underneath his eyelids, and he moved from the window and laid on Blaine's bed, simply because he was just too tired to climb the ladder. He didn't even feel the usual arousal of being surrounded by the young man, but just curled up and closed his eyes, wishing he could be anywhere else.
...
Blaine would never even have known Kurt was home if he hadn't seen his car still in the garage. Jogging up the stairs, Blaine walked into their bedroom without knocking. He found Kurt laying on his bed, curled up on his side.
"Hey..." Blaine said quietly as he took a seat in the desk chair and leant down to pull off his shoes. "You ok?" he asked, his eyes searching Kurt's between the slats of the ladder.
Kurt wished so desperately that Blaine wasn't here. Oh God, this was so horrid. He didn't want the boy in the room with him. Remaining silent, he recalled how he had constantly wished Blaine out of his life, but now…now Blaine was what he longed for, and he hated it. He hated that he…that he was beginning to fall for Blaine.
"I'm fine..." He said gruffly, not wanting Blaine to see the threatening tears, and definitely not wanting to see that smile. He desperately wished he could afford nice things, and not only for himself. For his mom, his sisters, and yes, even for Blaine, but all he could ever offer was himself ,and that just wasn't enough, as Blaine so blatantly showed him down at the beach.
Blaine's phone sounded indicating a text, and the young man stretched into his pocket to see what the message was.
"Guess we're going to the movies?" Blaine said, his eyes sliding over to Kurt. He huffed when the boy didn't answer him. The text was from Rachel saying that she was on her way to get them and would not be taking no for an answer. Blaine quickly texted her back saying that he didn't think getting Kurt out of the house was going to be the easiest of tasks, especially when he now knew Blaine was going.
Blaine was exhausted, and honestly, he would rather take a long nap instead. He sent another text to Sam, telling him he would be riding with Rachel, Finn and Kurt, and they would go pick him up too.
"Your friends are really bossy," Blaine muttered as he pulled off his jeans and fell onto the bunk with Kurt. "I'm fucking exhausted," he said, pulling his shirt off before pulling his pillow to his chest and bundling it under his head. He could feel Kurt squirming to get over on the bed, making room for the half-Irish man. "There is no way Rachel is going to take no for an answer," he said around a yawn as he twisted on his side, looking back at the ex-brunette.
Kurt was laying on his side facing the opposite direction now, as far away from Blaine as he could be on the small single bed. Neither of the boys were large in stature, so it was quite comfortable lying like that.
"I really want to just get along, Kurt..." Blaine said, his breath easing from between his lips in a soft sigh. "Can we just try? Let's just forget all that other stuff.. forget about last night... and start fresh ok?"
When Kurt still didn't answer, Blaine turned over to face him. He reached his hand out and applied pressure, trying to turn the teen toward him.
"Please?" He said, trying to make him meet his gaze. Kurt stiffened when Blaine touched him and the elder just slid closer, raising up on his triangular elbow. He looked over Kurt's shoulder, watching as the ex-brunette ignored him and examined his fingernails. "Please, Kurt..." he whispered again, quietly. Slowly, Blaine lowered his forehead so that it made contact between Kurt's shoulder blades.
Sighing, Blaine slowly inhaled, his eyes rolling shut at the smell of his 'brother' so close. He didn't know what was worse: Kurt all over him, or Kurt ignoring him. It was bittersweet. On one aspect, he hated when Kurt made him crazy with his sly remarks and teasing behavior, but on the other, it made him want to pull every hair out of his head one by one when he ignored him like this. There had to be a happy medium…somewhere.
Soon he realized the boy wasn't going to respond, so he rolled onto his back, putting his arm behind his head while his hand rested on his bare belly. This was misery.
Kurt was a bundle of nerves when Blaine got on the bunk with him, talking about his friends, about how bossy they were, but Kurt could hear the fondness, and he knew that this was another aspect of his life he would be replaced in. Rachel said he was musically talented too. He could just imagine it.
Ten years time and Blaine, being the model son with his art and his money, Dylan still caring for Elizabeth, Blaine in the band, Quinn on his arm, everyone just forgetting about the loser Kurt, who spent so much time trying to protect himself from being hurt, he didn't let anyone in and lost them all.
Blaine spoke about them maybe getting along, and Kurt closed his eyes, inching away, trying to ignore him, but Blaine just pressed in closer and buried his forehead against his back. Kurt almost sobbed. He wanted Blaine so much, but the teen didn't want him, not in that way.
Eventually Blaine gave up. But one thing he said hung over Kurt's head-forgetting everything, including last night.
"Just forget?" he asked, turning around to Blaine so they were staring to one another. Slowly Blaine nodded. Tears filled Kurt's eyes. "Well news flash, Blaine..." he took his brother's hand in his own and pressed it to his chest where his heart was thudding madly, "I can't forget this."
Blaine didn't speak, just stared where his and Kurt's hands were resting on the singer's bony rib cage. Kurt was gazing at him. Even when serious, Blaine was so beautiful. No matter what, he was always immaculate.
"God damn," Kurt whispered to himself, closing his eyes and pressing their foreheads together, hands still joined. Their noses touched, side by side, their mouths almost touching as a tear transferred from Kurt's eye to Blaine's soft cheek.
He suppressed a sob, and for a few moments, both made occasional moves as if to kiss, but there was a struggle on both sides, as well as a hesitation. Kurt began to shiver.
"I can't..." he whispered "I'm not strong enough..." he was shaking violently as he tried to crawl over Blaine's body to get off the bunk.
Blaine reached out, and grasped his t-shirt, not allowing the other boy to go anywhere. His heart was pounding, too, and what he had just seen in Kurt's eye-his expression was so raw and pained, there was no way he could let him go.
"Wait," Blaine said, pulling the boy toward him, but Kurt just pushed his shoulder, sighing and turned on his back. Blaine scrambled to be closer to him, his body half laying across Kurt to keep him stationery. "What are you saying?" Blaine rasped, his voice shaking with emotion. He focused on the salty tear making its way from Kurt's eye down his own cheek. "You are the strongest person I've ever met!" He whispered softly. "How can you say that?" Blaine echoed, his hand moving to trace away the tear that fell down the side of Kurt's face with his index fingertip. "Don't you know how hard this is for me, too?" He said, emotion pouring out. "What are we supposed to do? Our parents are married now. It wasn't our choice. But really Kurt, what are we supposed to do?"
"I don't know." Kurt sobbed in utter helplessness and shivered madly as Blaine brushed his tear away. "Please, don't ask me, Blaine, because I really don't know, okay?" He opened his eyes and looked to his brother's eyes. There was no blood relation or ties, but this was still so hard, far too hard, and it was beginning to eat Kurt up inside. He had known Blaine for little over a week, and already his world was turned upside down, and he was falling for the young Californian.
"Strong…" He almost laughed at the thoughts that Blaine found him strong, that everyone seemed to think he could take care of himself, and was happy to do so. The truth was…inside the adolescent, he was a mere child; and sometimes he just needed to feel like someone was there. Someone like Blaine…but now…Blaine was confusing him, and unintentionally hurting him. It made him regret letting his guard down to the beauty.
"You told me I was an insensitive prick…" He said quietly. "You called me selfish…..and I thought you were a spoiled preppy brat….what happened Blaine? Why am I falling for y…" He stopped, it was just too much, the emotions, the fears. Blaine's smile had long faded, and Kurt hated himself for taking his happiness away. He struggled, needing to get out of Blaine's grasp. "Please!" He begged. "Please Blaine, please let me go..."
"Falling for...what Kurt?" Blaine said looking confused, stopping him once again. It seemed like all the other teen knew how to do was run from him. And he was getting tired of watching the ex-brunette skulking off in a huff. "Fine...I won't ask you what to do! I was hoping we could figure it out together! It is a miserable situation for both of us here," he said in a rush, feeling panicked when his 'brother' attempted to get up repeatedly. "You want to go? That's it? You want me to let you go? So you can run like you keep doing?"
Kurt stilled his movements, and Blaine felt it. "If what you want is me to leave you alone...if what you want is me to disappear...look at me, and tell me that," Blaine urged, his voice high pitched. His heart was beating in his ears and his chest was already tightening with the thought of Kurt saying yes to his questions. "Don't you feel this?" he whispered while waiting for Kurt to look at him like he asked.
What Blaine wanted most of all was to just clutch the boy to his chest, to kiss and lick his tears away, to see that smile he had fallen so fucking hard for in less than a week. As much as he hated to admit he was like his father, he had to. Dylan had said nearly the same things after he had abruptly met and married Elizabeth. Blaine sighed when the other didn't answer, nor look at him like he asked.
"Fine...if this is what you want...if this is how you feel...then I will honor your wishes..." Blaine said brokenly, not having a clue how he was going to do that, but knowing his word meant his word. Blaine bit his lip as tears stained his own cheeks now. "Tell me again...one last time... you want me to go...and I'm gone..."
Kurt was shaking so hard, but with every word that escaped Blaines mouth, he just couldn't move. He was rooted to the spot, tears running along his cheeks. This hurt his heart so badly, he hated this so, so much. He hated being the reason everything around him was ruined. Blaine had said it himself. Everything Kurt touched broke, and he was right. He was so fucking right.
"I don't want you to go..." Kurt said so hoarsely that he wasn't sure Blaine heard him at all, but he looked back to Blaine, who looked so upset and he hated that. He hated that he caused the sadness and confusion the young man was feeling. It was never easy to discover attraction to same sex. Kurt had been terrified when it first happened, but slowly came to terms with his bisexuality. But now…with Blaine…it had never felt so right to be in the arms of another boy. When Blaine kissed him and held him and just…just looked at him, it spread warmth through his body.
"I don't want you to go." He repeated and fully turned to face him. "But I'm tired of being the reason you….you stop smiling…" Kurt knew he sounded stupid, but he really was sick of this, he was sick of himself and how he had pretty much mistreated Blaine the last week. "So I'm going to save you the hassle of asking and I'm going to go. I'll be totally out of your hair, you won't have to run into me so you should get what you wanted." And with that he left.
Blaine flipped over on his stomach as the door closed behind Kurt and beat his fist repeatedly into the thin mattress until he was breathless and had burst into sobbing tears. He felt like a three year old right now-so weak, so miserable as if he had lost his best friend, and he had not even known Kurt long enough to call him that!
'Out of my hair? What the fuck is he talking about? We share a fucking cell sized room! We go to the same school! We are even hanging in the same crowds! What did he expect to do in order to disappear?' Blaine allowed himself to mourn the loss, still feeling the warm place where Kurt's body had just been, clutching the duvet in his hand as he let the tears come.
He should be happy. He was nearly in his senior year of high school, he had a brand new car, he was most likely going to be accepted on scholarship to the art school of his choosing in New York City. Blaine had no reason at all in the world to not be walking on air! Even despite the fact that he had to leave the home, school and friends he had ever known...move in with perfect strangers and call them his siblings. Outside of that, his life was pretty much perfect. But in the course of a week… eight days as of tomorrow, Blaine's life as he knew it had shattered like a pane of glass.
When he thought about things like this, he could hardly believe it was all happening. He even sometimes expected to wake up as if having a bad dream and realize that all of it had been just a terrible nightmare. But the scent of Kurt in his nose, the warmth of his body, which still clung on to the duvet next to him, was more than a reality slap. He was in love, for the first fucking time in his life, and the situation honestly couldn't be worse.
Blaine finally dried his tears and tried to pull himself together, blowing his nose on the hem of the T-shirt he had been wearing earlier. Blaine could count on one hand how many times he had been reduced to tears in his life. And three of them occurred this week alone! If this is what being in love meant, he hoped that he never fell again. Sighing, the teen stared up at the springs of Kurt's top bunk and groaned, hitting his bare fist against the bed again. His lashes were still wet, tears clinging as he tried desperately to hold back.
It was the first time in Blaine's life that he wanted to run. He could just get in his car, once he figured out how to drive it, and drive until he couldn't drive anymore. But he couldn't do that to his father. They both had suffered the loss of his mother back when he was a child. There is no way Blaine could be been so selfish as to escape just when times got tough. And these were tough times.
His phone blew up next to him, indicating that Rachel was on the way. 'How am I gonna do this?' he wondered as he moved from the bed to change. 'How am I gonna behave normally around him?' He just didn't know.
...
Kurt was so frustrated with himself right now because this really was all his fault, he was hurting Blaine and it wasn't fair on the young man or himself. He never cared for people like that. Even with his family he tried to keep them at a distance, but Blaine easily broke down all the barriers he had taken so long to build up, and he was being driven mad by the young man.
He slipped out the back door where Sophie began to yelp to him to play, but the Kurt ignored her and just rushed to the back fence, clambering up the wooden picks and landing on the street corner. He rubbed the tears from his eyes, furious with himself. He was tired of hurting everyone he came in contact with.
He ran down the road, not really with a destination in mind, no wrong turn because there was no wrong way to nowhere. He just ran like Blaine said he would, as if he could physically outrun his problems instead of facing them.
He did stop, however, but it was sheer shock when someone blared their horn and he spun around seeing Rachel's head sticking out of Finn's passenger window.
"Someone's excited to see us," she laughed, waving her friend over. "C'mon we're gonna be late." Kurt just stared at the young girl and shook his head. His friends, Blaine's friends were calling him and he just couldn't move, couldn't go. He knew where they were headed, and he didn't want to go, didn't want to see Blaine and cause him even more pain.
"Just fuck off Rachel!" he cried, rushing away. Rachel was stunned, but Finn shrugged and drove off, mumbling Kurt was a prick.
"Finn!" Rachel snapped. "He's our friend!"
"He's a fucking drama queen that's what he is!" Finn said as they drove to Blaine's.
...
Blaine pulled on a dark baseball cap as he left his room when Rachel and Finn pulled into the driveway, hoping that it would help hide the redness around his eyes. He had a feeling that Rachel would know when she saw him, but he had already planned on saying that his allergies were bothering him to get out of it. He wondered if Kurt had already walked out of the house to meet them as well. He was fairly sure that Kurt had the red nose, blurry eyed, clown face too. There was no way the intuitive Rachel wouldn't pick up on it.
"Hey," Blaine said as he climbed into the backseat of Finn's car, plopping down with a squeak of vinyl. Kurt wasn't inside as he had expected.
"Who owns the kick ass ride?" Finn said immediately as he caught sight of the dark, cherry red Jeep in the driveway.
"It's mine." Blaine stated simply as Rachel turned around wide eyes on him.
"Are you kidding?" she exclaimed.
"Nope. Just got it today," Blaine explained, picking at something on his jeaned leg.
"We are so taking it out for a spin," Finn said, his eyes playful and excited.
"Can't," Blaine said with a shrug. "Waiting on the insurance to come through, plus I've gotta learn how to drive a manual," he told them matter of factly. "Maybe by next weekend?"
"Definitely. We should go camping," Finn suggested. "We can head down to the beach and camp out. We'll get a huge group. It'll be fun!"
"Sure," Blaine said, not overly excited.
Finn pulled out of the drive and started down the road. Kurt had not come out. How had he gotten out of this?
"Kurt's not coming?" Blaine asked, unable to help himself.
Rachel turned around, her eyes on his.
"We kind of thought you could fill us in on that one," she stated.
"Me?" Blaine feigned innocence. "I know the least of anyone in this car," he muttered, slouching in his seat.
Rachel bit her lip, desperate to say something, but Finn cast her a warning glare. She cringed. She wanted to confront all this, she couldn't help being a busybody, it was just the way she was. She was especially interested on the boy's issues. In her mind, she romanticized it. It was like Romeo and….Romeo. Star-crossed lovers obliged by families, their love doomed. It was so romantic, but every time she tried to open her mouth, Finn would look sideways to her and she'd frown, slouching back in her chair, sucking on her plump lower lip.
"So are we still picking up the art f…" Finn looked to Rachel who was now giving him a dark glare. He sighed. "I mean Sam?" Blaine nodded and he changed direction to where the new addition of their group said was Sam's address.
...
Kurt was down at the beach, strolling along the sand with his boots. It was quiet, but there were quite a few people on the beach, including a dog, who looked a lot like Sophie, catching tennis balls. Kurt remembered how much he used to bring her down to the beach and he promised himself he'd do it again some day.
He watched some young girl and her boyfriend in the water laughing and splashing and he smiled, imagining himself and Blaine in that situation, for just a moment, before shaking the image from his head. What was wrong with him? He didn't do romance or relationships, especially with his 'brother'. It was sick and it was wrong, and he was disturbed by how much he wished it could happen.
...
Finn elbowed Rachel at least three times on the way to the theater. She was obviously having to bite her tongue not to have a go at Blaine. She was so dead curious about what was going on between the pair. Quinn had called her crying, but she had given very little information in the matter. There was definitely something going on between the two boys.
Sam was ready and waiting when they picked him up for the movie. The blonde popped into the vehicle in the back seat with Blaine.
"So where's Kurt?" Sam asked as soon as they were headed down the freeway.
"Who cares!" Blaine muttered as he leaned forward on the seat. "Can I bum a cig?" he asked Rachel who had a pack of smokes in her purse on the seat.
"You don't smoke, do you?" Rachel said, making a face.
"Just gimme the damn smoke, Rachel," Blaine bit out with annoyance.
"Somebody is pissed off," Sam said with a smile.
Blaine ignored him as he took the cigarette from Rachel and leaned forward for her to light it. He leaned his head back, spiraling smoke out of the cracked window.
Sam, Rachel and Finn carried on conversation on the way to the theater about the movie they planned to see while Blaine just watched out the window, wondering what Kurt was doing. As much as he hated to admit it, he longed for the teen, wished he was sitting next to him instead of Sam.
It was obvious something was up with Blaine, and all three of his friends were concerned about it. There was something happening, and although Finn and Rachel had some form of an idea, Sam didn't, and was relentless in asking Blaine again and again until the young man practically yelled at him to shut the fuck up and finally did just that. They arrived at the cinema, jumping out. They wanted to see Avatar, apparently it was 'epic'.
The entire way inside Sam kept talking about the film and art aspects, and Finn rolled his eyes. He just wanted to see a lot of action, not hear about how it was made, that was boring. Once inside he burst out laughing at who he saw behind the popcorn stand. Dave Karofsky.
"He looks so different without make-up." He laughed, and Rachel looked to Blaine.
"That's Dave Karofsky." She told him. "He used to be a good friend of ours, hung in the group and stuff, but he kinda turned goth, and now he's like some leader over the goth kids." She giggled and looked to the young boy in the red, pinstripe shirt. He looked so funny and so bored. She bought the tickets for them all and Finn walked with the others to get popcorn.
"How come he turned into a goth and left?" Sam asked, and Finn laughed.
"Got his heart broken." He told them and Sam looked incredibly curious.
"Who?" He asked, suspecting Rachel. She looked little like a heartbreaker, or maybe Quinn or one of the girls he saw at the party?
"Kurt." Finn answered, leaning on the counter and smiling to the young boy. "Four popcorns, Karofsky!"
Blaine's eyes popped as he looked from Rachel and Finn back to the abnormally large teenager. At least he appeared so to Blaine.
"Kurt?" Sam questioned, his face screwing up with confusion. He had had many classes with Dave. He would have never have suspected the boy was a queer.
Slowly, Blaine looked the teenager up and down. Kurt fucked him? He wanted to shake his head. He wasn't even attractive.
"He doesn't even look like Kurt's type," Sam said as he sucked down a soda that Finn had just handed him. "The kind of guys Kurt likes are skanky and drug-addict looking."
Finn looked back to Sam and raised an eyebrow.
"Am I 'skanky' and a 'drug addict?'" He asked to the suddenly awkward teen, and Rachel approached him.
"Well, you're not ADDICTED!" She corrected him and looked to Sam, a warm smile on her face. "Sam, Kurt has different types and not all are based on appearance or social status…and he also dates girls…if you're a homophobic, I really suggest you find another circle to run." Sam's eyes were wide and he shook his head.
"N-no, no I didn't mean…I'm sorry, I didn't…" Rachel smiled and rested a hand on his shoulder.
"Sam, it's okay." She grinned. "It can be strange at first, but I'm also sure Blaine wouldn't like you talking mean about his brother."
Blaine was staring off in to space. He had heard all the talk about Kurt and what Kurt liked, but he didn't comment. He knew he wasn't Kurt's 'type', but he didn't want to think about that. It was already more than obvious with Kurt that no matter what Blaine wanted, Kurt would never look at him that way. He just didn't want him the way he wanted others. It was plain and simple. It didn't change that it hurt him, or that it made him feel rejected and depressed, but it was the truth.
"I don't think Blaine likes Kurt too much," Sam said as he cast a glance toward Blaine as the group started to walk toward the theater.
"Actually, Sam, I think he likes him too much." Rachel whispered and Finn nudged her. She glared at him, but followed Blaine into the cinema along with Sam, who she knew was going to be one of these guys who would never shut up throughout the movie.