Chapter 11

Ezra came to in the hospital, his head throbbing like a son of bitch. Fuck, that fall had messed him up pretty good. He'd suffered a broken wrist, a dislocated jaw and bruised ribs, and a bad concussion. One half of his face was swollen, leaving his face lopsided. It was his fault.

He'd allowed Aria to get to him. It wasn't right to place all the blame at her feet. She'd gotten to him. He'd let her rile him up. He'd played right into her hands.

Well, at least she called 911, a voice in his head said. She had. He supposed he could thank her for that. She'd gotten him help. How much longer did he have stay in the hospital? He felt Aria's eyes on him but he ignored her entirely. It was best if he didn't look at her. He didn't want to see pity in her lovely big doe-like eyes. Man, when had he become so pathetic? No, he wouldn't glance her way.

He thanked the nurse and swallowed down the pain pills with the glass of water she'd given him. He just wanted to be left alone. He didn't want Aria around him. She angered him. He was too fucked up to deal with anymore of her shit. He finally glared over at her, not missing how she moved closer towards the bed.

Aria blamed herself for Ezra's fall. Watching him go down had been scary. He could have died. She should have left when he'd told her to get lost. She'd been so stubborn, so unreasonable. She'd done this to him. It was her fault. She knew it.

She could hardly recognize him with his face swollen the way that it was. What had she done to him? Why couldn't she let him go? Why couldn't she be without him? Why hadn't she remained in New York City? Being around him was so complicated, their relationship was complicated. She never wanted to cause him pain. She couldn't seem to stop screwing up her life along with his. She wished they could start over. She wanted to be friends again.

She sat down on his bed, being mindful of his many injuries. She observed him quietly. Even though he was banged up, he still was a very attractive man. Heat ignited inside her at the look in his eyes. He couldn't deny it, he wanted her too.

Aria leaned over and kissed his mouth ever so sweetly, her tongue venturing out to taste him. She moaned. He tasted good. She pressed harder against his lips, willing him to respond to her. He didn't. Sadness gripped her insides and she pulled away. She had to think. She needed him to listen. Would he?

"I know you won't ever forgive me for taken away our daughter, but I thought I was doing what was best for her," Aria explained soulfully, her big brown eyes glittered with tears. "I wasn't looking to punish you. I just wanted Maddie to have it all".

He stayed quiet and listened to what she had to say.

"I was wrong," Aria apologized as she chewed numbly on her top lip. "I'll understand if you hate me for the rest of our lives".

She deserved his hate.

How could she make it right?

Was it too late?

She hoped it wasn't.

Tears ran down her gorgeous face fiercely and he used his uninjured hand to wipe them away.

Showing her compassion didn't mean he'd forgiven her.

"Maddie knows you're her father, I never wanted to keep that from her," she told him and brushed the inside of his palm with her lips. He shivered. "Josh never cared that Maddie wasn't his. He loved her all the same. He's been good to her".

Ezra's heart constricted.

Maddie knew that Ezra was her dad?

He didn't know what to say.

He didn't know how he felt.

Here he thought Madelyn was calling Josh daddy.

She wasn't.

She knew the truth.

How did she feel?

Did she hate Ezra?

"Josh knew about our affair from the beginning but he didn't say anything". She wanted to come clean to him. She didn't know why she mentioned Josh when he didn't like him. She felt his body tense when she said Josh's name. "He wasn't threatened by you because he knew I wouldn't choose you over him. Or in his head, you wouldn't choose me over Bethany".

Aria didn't regret her marriage to Josh, but sometimes she wished she'd stayed unmarried, unattached. She'd brought Josh into all her drama. She knew she had changed him for the worse, made him into the man he never wanted to be. Often, there were somedays when he looked at her with resentment. Aria wasn't fooled; she knew that she made him very unhappy.

She knew the real reason Josh had kept up with their marriage. It had been for Maddie's sake. He loved that little girl, and Maddie loved him back in return. Aria never wanted to ruin their step-father and step-daughter relationship. Maddie needed a male figure in her life. She knew she was selfish in keeping Josh tied to her. She knew that Josh deserved a real marriage, a marriage where his wife remained faithful, and a marriage where his wife didn't love another man. She had to do right by him. She had to make it right.

"Don't get angry but I told Bethany months ago about our affair," Aria said him softly, gauging his silent form. Questions materialized in his blue eyes before his handsome face went blank. "I was tired of all the secrets between our two families. I figured it was time to stop all the lies and living double lives. Bethany and my parents aren't speaking to me".

To know that his ex-wife and ex-in-laws weren't on speaking terms with Aria pissed him off. The affair wasn't just Aria's fault, it was his as well. They should blame him too. He knew what he'd been doing when he'd carried on with his affair with Aria. Why hadn't Bethany told him she knew about the affair between him and Aria? Why hadn't she blown up at him? She pretended as though the affair between her baby sister and husband hadn't existed.

The painkillers were making him drowsy but he fought to keep his eyes open, trained on her tragic face.

"Bethany is still in love with you," Aria admitted, her voice sounding far away as she traced a finger down his strong jawline. He really did have great features. "She hasn't said anything, but she wants you back. She never wanted your marriage to end. She thinks I'm to blame for it fallen apart. She thinks I stole you away from her and she's right. You guys never really had a chance with me around".

Why did she take all the blame?

He didn't like to see her cry.

When she cried it made him feel useless.

He didn't like feeling that way.

He wanted to be strong for her.

They were in this predicament together; they'd always been in it together.

"No, that's not true. You never had a chance with me around. I ruin you for other men", he said, finally choosing to speak. His voice sounded rough from lack of use. They both knew it to be true. Sometimes he wish he could go back in time and stop himself from sleeping with her, stop himself for being attracted to her, and stop himself from noticing her. But now wasn't the time for any regrets. They had a long history together. "I was older than you. I took advantage of your naivety. If anyone is to be crucified, then it should be me".

She gave him an incredulous look.

She didn't agree with him.

"I was never gullible," Aria argued passionately. "I knew what I wanted from you, and I knew what I was getting into. You never coerce me. We both wanted the other. We both acted and put our desire first and threw caution to the wind".

They both had different opinions on the matter.

"You were alluring, so fucking sexy and wild, that I couldn't stop myself from wanting you, wanting to fuck you hard and long," Ezra said huskily as he scratched his stubbly face, his sharp blue gaze locked on hers. "I tried to deny the attraction I felt towards you and fought it as long as I could, until I couldn't anymore. I had to have you".

He couldn't get a hold on his emotions. They were all so confusing.

"I know you need more time to sort out everything that's going on with us, with our daughter, and with our situation," Aria said, reading the unsaid words on his face. He usually wasn't so easy to read, but he found that he was valuable at the moment. "Space is what you need, especially from me".

Aria got up to leave. She leaned down to kiss his forehead, lingering for several seconds and just breathed him in. Her nostrils flared as she inhaled his natural masculine scent. She hated to leave but she had to give him time. They had to be worlds apart until he was ready deal with their problem. She had to make some decisions on her own. She wasn't sure where she wanted to go from here. Did she want to be a part of his life once more? Did she want to end her long-term marriage to Josh? Did she want Maddie to know her true father? Did she want to be with Ezra? Did he want her? Did she want him? Could they really make a relationship work? How would it affect their families if they became serious, a real thing? So many questions roamed through her mind. She had to think.

Sorry for the long wait you guys. I hope you haven't forgotten this story. I really do love writing it. Do you think they can make it work? Can they really build a life from an affair? Is that even possible? Stay tuned to find out :).