This chapter is extra long because I love you all.
"So this is, like, a really big thing?" Kurt asked, looking at his reflection in the mirror of Mercedes' bedroom as he carefully combed his hair into its perfect coiffure.
Santana looked up from the bed where she was applying red lipstick to her lips, Brittany was kneeling behind her, carefully curling her long, black, silky hair with a curling iron.
"Yeah, it's usually only the cheerios who get invited to these, who the hell knows how you losers got invited," she said, eyeing the green tartan pinafore Rachel was wearing. Rachel smoothed down the plaits of her skirt and stroked her hair nervously.
"Do you think there's going to be… alcohol there," she asked in a scandalous tone. Santana rolled her false eyelashed eyes.
"Well, if there's not, you won't be finding me there," she said, raising her eyebrows at Rachel like she couldn't quite believe what she was hearing but, then again, she could because it was Rachel.
Mercedes looked over from where she was trying on different earrings in the corner.
"Do you know who's gonna be there, Santana?" She asked.
Santana shrugged, "Probably just the usual," she said, "You know; the football jocks, the cheerios, Puck's little gang, the skanks, the entire senior student body, that college band that suck, Puck's older brother and his friends," she was counting off on her fingers, then she looked at Kurt, Rachel and Tina, "oh, and you losers, but don't you know if Sam's going?"
Mercedes smiled, "Well he offered to pick me up but I just said I was going with you guys."
Tina giggled from the corner, "You two are so cute together!"
Mercedes blushed a little but it was clear she agreed.
Kurt stood, silently listening to the conversation. Santana had said "Puck's gang" not "Blaine's gang" as he'd usually heard it being referred to. Kurt knew that Blaine wasn't speaking to his old crew, did this mean that Puck had taken over as leader? Was Blaine even going to be there?
Kurt hadn't seen or spoken to Blaine since Wednesday night when they had had their little "row". Kurt's car had been in his driveway the next morning with a little note on the windscreen that simply said I needed to do a thing. Blaine hadn't turned up at school the next few days and Kurt was starting to worry.
He wondered if he could bring Blaine up casually without his friends getting suspicious. He cleared his throat nonchalantly.
"So, do you guys know why Sebastian came into school with all those cuts and bruises yesterday?" Kurt asked as casually as he could. Sebastian has turned up for class late on Thursday morning with his face in the messiest state of purple Kurt had ever seen. Kurt found himself feeling generally unsympathetic to towards the taller boy. He'd managed to hide his bruises from his dad so far but mainly because Burt had become accustomed to seeing Kurt wears scarves all year round, even in the summer months. So during the winter, it would be strange for him to question it, even if Kurt was wearing them inside all night long.
Mercedes frowned, "No, I wonder what happened to him? Poor guy."
Kurt hadn't told anyone what had happened. The only people who knew, to his knowledge, were him, Sebastian, Blaine and Kurofsky.
"I'll bet you fifty bucks that it was Blaine Anderson," said Santana, her eyes lighting up with malice, "He always has that angry look about him."
"Angry, but sexy," said Brittany absentmindedly. Everyone stared at her, Santana raised her eyebrows.
"Haven't he and Sebastian been having this big fight or something?" Said Tina, "That's what I heard through the grapevine and by that I mean Jacob Ben Israel's blog."
Everyone nodded in agreement, they'd also heard this information.
"I wonder if Blaine will be going tonight?" Kurt chipped in as casually as he could.
Everyone nodded again, except Rachel who looked at him sharply, a strange smile playing about her lips. Kurt pretended not to notice.
"So, will I get to see your dancing skills tonight, Kurt?"
…
"Aren't we a bit late?" Rachel asked anxiously as they walked down the road towards Puck's house. He lived quite close by to Mercedes' house, close enough to walk. Mercedes said his house was a bit further down the street but Kurt could already hear music blasting from that direction.
"What time did it start?" Kurt asked her, craning his neck and squinting down the road.
"Seven, I think," said Rachel. Kurt squeezed her hand gently.
"Are you nervous?" He whispered to her.
"A little bit," She said, smiling.
"Me too," Kurt agreed but he didn't want to think about why.
"But nobody's actually going to go at seven, are they?" Santana scoffed.
"Looks like everyone already did," said Kurt as they reached the house. He could see what looked like hundreds of teenagers dancing to the pounding music through the windows of the dimly lit house. Kurt thought it looked sort of magical with the music beating and the silhouettes of a thousand dancing teenagers in the darkness, drunk on adrenaline, or something else.
Suddenly the door to the house was flung open and Puck staggered down the steps, a beer can held loosely in his hand.
"THEY ARE FUCKING HERE!" he yelled to no one in particular. Santana gave him one of her infamous disgusted looks .
Puck ran up to them and pulled Santana into a bear hug.
"All my girls are here!" he yelled again, though his voice was muffled against Santana's shoulder.
Mercedes giggled and motioned to them all to follow her, "Come on guys, let's go inside!"
Rachel followed her eagerly up the steps while Kurt followed suit.
As they entered the house, the hallway was full of people. Many of them stopped to greet them or hug them as they walked past. One guy Kurt had never seen before, who looked, at most, fourteen, stopped him and said, "Hey man, nice hair. Looks strong.". Kurt simply gave him a weird look before being whisked away into the living room by Rachel. He wasn't sure if it was his imagination but he was sure the guy winked at him before he disappeared out of sight.
Mercedes' boyfriend, Sam, was standing chatting to a tall boy who Kurt knew to be called Finn Hudson. Mercedes rushed up to them and kissed Sam on the cheek. Kurt and Rachel followed her, unsure of what to do with themselves.
"Hey babe," said Sam, kissing her back. Mercedes smiled and pulled Kurt and Rachel over from where they were standing awkwardly on the extremity of the group.
"Hey guys, I like you to meet my friends, Kurt and Rachel," Mercedes said to Finn and Sam.
"Hi!" said Finn, he grinned at them both. They smiled back.
"Hey!" said Sam, "Can I get you guys anything to drink?"
Rachel and Kurt looked at each other, then Rachel turned to Sam.
"I'll have a beer," she said promptly. Sam raised his eyebrows and laughed.
"Kurt?" he said, still grinning.
"I'll just come with you and see what there is," Kurt said, not wanting to embarrass himself with his ignorance of alcohol and what was "cool" to drink and what was not. His father had unwillingly let Kurt go to the party, but only because he wanted to Kurt to make friends at his new school. But he had warned him that if he came home drunk he would be grounded for the rest of his high school life. But Kurt was feeling rebellious tonight, the euphoria seemed to be affecting him.
The kitchen was almost empty except for a few stragglers which Kurt found strange seeing as that was where the alcohol was stored.
Azimo was backed up against a wall with some girl grinding against him, her tongue stuck down his throat - Kurt shuddered. A pretty blonde girl was sitting alone at the kitchen table, tapping her fingernails on the table top with a bored expression on her face.
"You alright Quinn?" Sam asked, spotting her as they walked in. She raised her eyes to look at him and sighed.
"Have you seen Finn?" She asked in an irritated voice. Sam pointed towards the living room then turned back to Kurt.
"So, you want a beer?" He asked, opening the fridge and staring down at its contents. Kurt could feel his heart beating, it was funny but this was the first time he could remember disobeying his father and he was going to enjoy it.
"Sure," he said, taking the bottle from Sam and confidently putting it to his lips. He felt the bitter, metallic taste hit his tongue and he coughed. Sam was laughing at his disgusted expression.
"You'll get used to it," he smirked. Kurt was sure he would.
…
"Look me in the eye and tell me that's your natural colour," Kurt said poking Sam in the ribs with a serious expression his face.
Mercedes spluttered, laughing in her cup. Finn watched, grinning from ear to ear while Rachel grabbed his arm and smiled up at him. Sam looked irritated as he eyed Kurt.
"I don't dye my hair dude!" He said exasperatedly as the rest of the group burst out laughing. Kurt took another sip from his cup, he had no idea what he was drinking anymore but he felt wonderful.
They were standing in the kitchen, which was next to the garden and people kept running through to throw up outside. Kurofsky was sitting alone at the table, every so often his eyes would flicker up to where Kurt was standing but Kurt was having too much fun to notice.
They'd been interrupted several times by different announcements. Artie had wheeled into the kitchen at one point and declared that Mike and Rory were about to have a drinking competition and that they'd better place their bets. They could hear people cheering from the living room and it sounded like everyone was chanting "RORY!" over and over again.
Kurt could feel the music pounding in his head and he felt like dancing, he hadn't been able to dance in a while. Just then, they heard Puck's voice from the door.
"Jesus Blaine, how many have you had?" Puck was half carrying, half dragging a bedraggled looking Blaine into the kitchen, he plonked him down on a chair and turned back to the party. Blaine looked up blearily and scanned the room, his eyes met Kurt's for a brief moment. Kurt could see he'd been crying but his expression was impassive.
Blaine's eyes eventually landed on Kurfosky, they narrowed. Kurfosky, sensing Blaine's gaze, looked down at his hands.
"Surprised you'd show your face in here, Kurofsky," Kurt heard Blaine say quietly, his voice sounded dangerous.
Kurofsky said something back in a low voice, Kurt saw Blaine clench his fists then he drew back his head and spat right in Kurofsky's face. Kurt felt himself shake and Rachel glanced at him.
"Are you alright Kurt?" She asked in a worried voice.
Kurt's answer was drowned out by the sudden raises voiced that filled the room. Everyone's heads snapped round to where Blaine was holding Kurofsky up by the collar. Blaine must have been strong because Kurofsky was a big guy but he couldn't seem to free himself from Blaine's grasp. Blaine was facing away from them but Kurofsky looked scared and was scrabbling frantically.
"Don't you dare say you didn't do anything!" Blaine hissed at him but it was loud enough for the silent room to hear. Kurt was paralysed with fear and he couldn't bring himself to pull Blaine away.
Suddenly Blaine threw Kurofsky to the floor, turned and charged straight at Kurt. Kurt's eyes widened in fear as Blaine reached for Kurt's neck. He yanked down his scarf and Kurt heard Rachel and Mercedes' intakes of breath as Kurt's bruised and cut neck was exposed. He winced.
Blaine pulled Kurt over to where Kurofsky was backed up against the wall. Kurt wanted to yell but couldn't seem to make his voice work.
Blaine yanked off Kurt's scarf and titled his head roughly towards the ceiling. Kurt winced again while Kurofsky avoided his eyes.
"See! You could have stopped this, you little shit!" Blaine shrieked in Kurofsky's face. He flinched.
"I just did what Sebastian told me-" Kurofsky started.
"He could have fucking died!" Blaine screamed, his grasp was getting tighter on Kurt's jaw and Kurt couldn't open his mouth. Finally Kurt managed to shove Blaine's grip out the way. Blaine gazed at his hand momentarily with a horrified expression on his face.
Kurofsky took this opportunity to run and then he was gone.
Blaine snapped out of his trance and turned to the stunned group in the silent kitchen who were all staring at him appalled. Blaine gazed from one face to another, then he balled up his hands into fists and kicked the wall angrily.
"Fuck this," he said and ran out the room.
Kurt looked at his friends who were all staring at him with scared expressions. He grabbed his scarf from the floor and followed Blaine out into the crowd.
The living room was a sea of heads. Kurt tried to spot the curly head but everyone was moving and it was dark. He tried calling Blaine's name but his voice was lost among the booming music. Kurt's head began to spin and he felt the music pounding in his ears. It seemed to fill his head, consume him and he couldn't see where he was going. People shoved past him pushing him this way and that. He needed to get out of there.
Kurt spotted the door and reached for it. He managed to slip through into the nearly empty hallway. His head was spinning and his heart was beating frantically. Suddenly he spotted Blaine disappear up the staircase. Kurt's head seemed to clear and he frantically rushed after him.
When Kurt reached the top of the stairs he was faced by at least ten closed doors. Puck's house was huge and Kurt was sure there was another floor, Kurt proceeded to peek in a couple of the doors but he kept seeing things he didn't want to be seeing. Then he spotted a door at the end of the hall which was slightly ajar. He made his way over to it.
Kurt slowly opened the door and peeked his head in. The room was dark and appeared empty but Kurt noticed a small, hunched up figure in the corner of the room.
"I've been looking for you everywhere," Kurt said in a quiet voice. He made his way over to Blaine and sat down on the floor next to him.
Only silence greeted him. Blaine was gripping his arms tightly and had his legs drawn up to his chest. His head was lain on top, face down. Kurt sighed.
"Stay away from me," came Blaine's voice, it was barely even a whisper but Kurt felt goosebumps rise all over his skin.
"I don't think I can," he whispered even more quietly. Blaine may not even have heard him. He was staring straight ahead, not daring to look at Blaine.
Suddenly Blaine turned to Kurt and grabbed his hands. He was staring straight into his eyes. Kurt could see he'd been crying, he had tear tracks down his face.
"But you have to!" Blaine said urgently, " You saw me downstairs, I get so angry I lose control of my actions. I really don't want to hurt you Kurt but I'm my father's son, I know I am, and that doesn't stop him. But it's just when someone hurts you, it just makes me so mad, so angry that I can't, I don't- Kurt you're just so perfect and so fucking beautiful and I don't want to ruin you. When I'm around you I just lose control of everything and you just, I just-" his voice broke.
Kurt was gazing at Blaine. Both boys had tears in their eyes. Blaine was staring at Kurt and their faces were close. Blaine reached up and brushed a hair away from Kurt's face with his thumb. Kurt closed his eyes and leaned against Blaine's hand, breathing slowly.
Suddenly their lips connected.
Blaine's lips felt soft on his, soft and wonderful. Kurt breathed as they deepened the kiss. He felt Blaine's teeth bite against his own lips anxiously, hungrily. His tongue was exploring Kurt's mouth. Kurt reached around Blaine's neck and clasped his hands there. His heart was pounding and his whole body was tingling with pleasure. His whole body.
Kurt suddenly felt Blaine's hands slide down his back and around to his hips. He was fumbling with the button of Kurt's jeans. Kurt froze. He began to panic.
He was drunk, at a house party, kissing a boy he barely knew who'd practically just assaulted someone, a boy who smoked and rarely turned up for class and Kurt was half in love with him.
Kurt suddenly pulled himself away from Blaine. His vision was blurred and he could barely see. He untangled his legs from Blaine's and sat up, he'd practically been lying on top of him.
"Kurt?" said Blaine, propping himself up on his elbows, "I'm sorry, I-"
Then Kurt was gone.
Kurt came out the room and almost ran headfirst into Quinn who's eyes were also red as if she'd been crying.
"Are the coats in there?" She asked in a shaky voice. Kurt shook his head and continued down the stairs, wiping his eyes as he went. He needed to find Mercedes or Rachel - he wanted to leave.
He looked up and found himself face to face with Sebastian. Sebastian glanced up at something behind Kurt and then looked back at him, his bruised face contorted with rage. Kurt screamed as Sebastian suddenly lunged himself at him. Kurt shielded his face preparing for impact.
Suddenly something leapt over him like a lion pouncing on its prey. Kurt looked up to see Blaine land on top of Sebastian and they toppled down the stairs each trying to hurt the other as much as possible.
Kurt quickly dodged past them as they crashed into the living room door and he heard people gasp as the fighting pair burst into the crowd. Kurt needed to find his friends but his tears were blinding him and he couldn't see where he was going.
The living room was now more crowded than ever as everyone packed into it to watch the fight. Kurt pushed through the crowd, trying to locate the kitchen. He could hear Sebastian and Blaine's incoherent screams at each other, the crowd was screaming, everything was screaming.
Kurt reached the kitchen door and opened it. His mouth fell open in shock and he suddenly pictured Quinn doing the same thing as few minutes before.
Rachel and Finn were making out, they were slobbering over each other, practically licking each other's faces off. Kurt felt genuinely violated just watching them. He turned to see Santana staring at them with another one of her most disgusted expressions. She turned to share this with Kurt but then she noticed his face.
"Oh my god, Kurt! Are you alright?" She asked, rushing over to him. For the second time that night, Kurt's answer was drowned out.
The door of the kitchen burst open and Blaine fell through the threshold and landed, back first on the floor. Kurt felt a sudden lurch of fear in his stomach. Sebastian then entered, glanced around madly, then threw himself on top of Blaine, punching every piece of him he could find. A few people were trying to pull Sebastian off but he was too strong for them and just swatted them away like flies.
Blaine's face was twisted in a sort of rage that Kurt had never seen before, like it physically hurt him to be that angry. Sebastian's nose was bleeding and, he too, looked furious.
"I told you not to fucking touch him, I warned you!" Blaine screamed wildly. Sebastian pushed his arm up against Blaine's neck, blocking his windpipe, he smirked and laughed hollowly.
"Well, isn't this adorable." Sebastian said snidely, loud enough for the whole room to hear, "You trying to threaten me, when I've got you in the same position that I had your little boyfriend in two days ago!"
Blaine seemed to grow with anger, he screamed and grabbed Sebastian's arms, forcing him of himself. Sebastian's smirk changed to that of shock as Blaine picked him up. His face was angry with such an intensity that no one dared stop him. Then he threw Sebastian through the patio door and he fell with a dull thud onto concrete outside.
The glass splintered into a million pieces and everyone was screaming again. Suddenly the sound of a police siren filled the room and everyone was moving. Panic filled the air and everyone was shouting and pushing and yelling.
Kurt somehow found Blaine's hand and pulled him out the door. He followed him limply, seemingly unable to know what was going on.
Kurt put his hand in Blaine's pocket and found his car keys. He turned to Blaine.
"Blaine," he said urgently, "listen to me, where's your car?"
Blaine looked up at Kurt, the cut down his mouth had split open and blood was dripping down his chin.
"You can't drive, you've had too much to drink," he slurred.
"I've only had a few and that was a couple of hours ago," Kurt said, trying desperately to pull the dazed boy along. The police sirens were growing quieter but Kurt still knew they weren't safe.
"It's just round the corner," Blaine mumbled.
Kurt didn't know what Blaine's car looked like but thankfully Blaine pointed to it once they had reached it. He piled Blaine into the passenger seat then climbed into the driver's seat and turned on the ignition. As soon as the engine came to life, Blaine seemed to wake up a little bit. Kurt glanced at him worriedly then drove off into the night.
Kurt had lived in Lima his whole life so he knew the streets well just not the people having been to private school for most of his school days. However, when Burt's business began to fail, he found that he couldn't afford to send Kurt to Dalton anymore and Kurt got sent to McKinley.
Kurt had been driving for about twenty minutes when he suddenly stopped the car. They were on a road that Blaine didn't recognise but Kurt was sure that they were as far away from the police that was safe.
Kurt didn't say anything, he just sat numbly, willing himself not to cry. Then Blaine broke the silence.
"I'm so sorry, Kurt," he said, his voice was still slurred slightly.
Kurt's thoughts were spinning uncontrollably around his head. He was so angry at Blaine, he always had to put himself in danger but he would never just talk to Kurt. He wouldn't tell him what was going on. Why he had scars on his wrists and why he turned up for school in the morning with new bruises every day. He was also angry at himself for running away in the bedroom after Blaine had tried to unbutton his jeans.
He didn't even know how he felt about Blaine. Blaine had said that he lost control around him but what did that mean? The kiss had just sort of happened at he didn't even have time to think about whether he wanted it or not, he didn't even have time to think about it after it had happened. Sebastian had deserved what he got but they'd just run away. He could be in hospital right now, or worse and they wouldn't even know.
"Okay," was all he said.
Blaine's face filled with sorrow and he looked like he wanted to comfort Kurt but was scared of taking it too far again. Kurt wondered if he would explain to Kurt now about his father, now that he was drunk and less able to keep his guard up.
"Blaine?" Kurt asked in the silence. Blaine raised his eyes to Kurt's, hopefully almost, that he would talk to him again.
"Where did you get that cut?" Kurt whispered, tracing his finger from Blaine's septum to the bottom of his chin. Blaine jerked his head away angrily and clenched his bloody fists.
"A fight," he muttered.
"What fight?" Kurt asked gently. But Blaine didn't say anything, he just turned away and folded his arms, his face hardened.
Kurt sighed, knowing that Blaine was not about to tell him everything. He started the engine and headed back into town.
As they turned into Blaine's neighbourhood Blaine suddenly sat up from where he'd been resting his head against the window.
"You can just drop me off here," he said, pointing randomly. Kurt stared at him.
"Blaine, your house is like two streets away!"
"So? I can walk," he argued back, swaying slightly as he tried to open the door. Kurt rolled his eyes.
"You can barely even stand," Kurt snapped, batting Blaine's hands away, "I'm taking you home."
Kurt slowed as they reached Blaine's street and halted outside his house. Blaine opened the door and got out, almost falling over in the process.
"Okay, bye," he said.
"Wait Blaine!" said Kurt hurriedly, "I need to walk home now, so here's your keys." He leaned out the window and tried to hand them over to Blaine but Blaine tripped over and fell on the hard pavement.
"God sake," muttered Kurt and jumped out the car. Blaine tried to get back up but couldn't. Kurt put his arm around him and helped him up.
"Just go Kurt," Blaine said in a slightly alarmed voice. Kurt shook his head, still holding on to Blaine.
"No, I'm making sure you actually make it to the door before you pass out," Kurt sighed as Blaine tried to fight him off with no avail. Kurt pushed open the old garden gate and winced as it creaked eerily in the darkness. He noticed how derelict the house looked, it was almost as if no one lived there.
"Kurt please," said Blaine urgently as they made their way down the path. Kurt ignored him.
Suddenly the old battered front door was flung open and a man was standing in the doorway. He was a tall, thickset man with little hair on his head. His face was covered in a black, straggly beard and thick, dark eyebrows. His eyes, small and beady, were the same colour as Blaine's and they stared down at the two boys sternly. Kurt felt Blaine freeze in his arms.
"Blaine," said the man in a low and dangerous voice, "what the fuck is going on here?"
Kurt cringed but he was sort of expecting this from Blaine's father.
"Blaine just got in a little fight, sir," Kurt said carefully, "But he's fine now."
The man turned his attention to Kurt, looking him up and down. His lip curled into a sneer exposing his yellowing teeth.
"And who might you be?" He sneered down his nose at Kurt.
"Kurt, please," Blaine whispered pleadingly.
Kurt's heart was hammering against his heart, he felt genuinely scared for his own and Blaine's safety. So this is what Blaine had refused to share with him.
"Kurt?" The man snarled, turning back to Blaine, "Kurt, wassit? So Kurt is your little fag, is he?"
Kurt felt the hair stand up on the back of his neck. Blaine was suddenly grabbed away from him and the man threw Blaine into the house, literally threw him. He turned back to Kurt and grabbed him roughly by the shoulders. Kurt flinched. He could smell the man's breath, it was putrid - a mixture of smoke and alcohol. He bared his disgusting teeth in Kurt's face.
"Stay away from my son you little faggot," he growled, his voice tainted with malice as he spat out every syllable. Then he dropped Kurt on the ground and retreated back into the house. Kurt heard a yelp before the door slammed behind him.
Kurt didn't know what to do, so he ran like he always did. Ran and ran and he didn't think he'd ever stop.