Infinite Shades of Grey:
I'm not quite sure if I've said this, but I do not own General Hospital and no copyright infringement is intended. And on another note. I have to say I am so surprised at how many historical romance Jasam fictions are popping up. There are now four to date (that I know of), mine being one of any case, if you like the whole Historical Romance Jasam, check out Contra Dance by Caitliasm on Trusted Hearts along with Masquerade and Avion by aerrow also on TH. They are great. And now on with the story.
"Is it proper to celebrate something so socially un-norm?" Courtney asked, holding her breath while Carly tugged on the cords to her corset. "I daresay this is rather scandalous, even for Lady Samantha."
She and Carly were preparing to go to go to a dinner party at Countess Alcazar and Lady Cassadine's new place of residence, a Manor which they had acquired after much fuss and a lot of money was dropped. The previous owner was hesitant to sell to two women, even if they were of high standing in society. Nikolas had leant his name and presence, adding a cloak of respectability. After many debates, they had finally gotten what they had wanted.
All of the air left her lungs as Carly pulled particularly roughly, causing her blonde curls to bounce around her head. "I can scarcely breathe, Carly." she snapped.
Her answer was snooty, "Well, if one cannot breathe then one cannot make comments about those they know nothing about."
If Courtney had been able to draw in a full breath, she was sure she would have lashed out, even though a proper bred young lady did no such thing, except with siblings. She would look past it and do it anyway, simply because she and Carly were like sisters anyway. Besides, Lady Samantha was not the only one who could be daring. Perhaps she too would say 'to hell with the ton', swear off marriage, and move in with Carly. Feeling her heart begin to beat rapidly at the mere thought, she frowned and pushed it out of her head. She was not one to snub society. She, in fact, went through great pains to be a proper lady and to completely forgo all of her training and breeding was preposterous. The very thought of being shunned sent coils of fear and anxiety to boil low in her stomach making her feel faint. She just had too accept that she and Lady Samantha were as different as night and day and she was not liable to change.
"I do not understand why you are so defensive of someone you hardly know." she scoffed to her best friend whose eye roll she caught in the mirror.
"I could very well say the same to you, Courtney." Carly said, annoyance clear in her voice. "I had thought that after the lovely time we all had at the ball, you had moved past this silly obsession you have with disliking the woman. She is a lovely lady, which you should know after having spent time with her."
Courtney moved away from the slightly younger blonde and made her way to where her dress was hung. "I do not dislike the woman, as you so kindly put it. I simply...do not trust her around Jason."
Carly interrupted her, "You do not trust her with Jason? Or you do not trust Jason with her?" she asked, "Just because your betrothed is seemingly keen on getting into her dress, does not mean she would allow him to. And even if she did, I personally would not hold it against her. It would be a downright scandal, and you would be hurt, yes. However, let us face facts, friend. You know just as well as I do that once Jason puts his mind to something, it most certainly gets done. And at the risk of sounding crude, if he wants her to get," she hesitated, fearing going to far, but she pushed on. She was tired of Courtney's paranoid comments against a woman she knew so little of, "Done, the she most certainly will get...done."
Throughout Carly's lecture, Courtney had remained silent and as still as one of the statues that surrounded the mansion that they were residing in. She was worried now, because she was still not saying anything and not moving, and Carly had to wonder if she had had, indeed, pushed too far. She went to place her hand on Courtney's elbow, which urged her into movement. She flinched away from her touch as if she could not stand to have her touch her, as if the feeling on her arm disgusted her.
"I cannot belive that after knowing everything you know, after I have told you how Lady Samantha and Jason makes me uneasy that you would say that. Are you not my friend anymore? Do you not care how words like the ones that you just allowed to escape your lips make me feel?"
Carly sighed as if she were annoyed, which infuriated Courtney even more. Before she could say anything, Carly began, "I know how this all makes you feel, Courtney. You know that you are dear to me, my best of all friends, however, we have already discussed this. Men take mistresses. They bed other women for multiple reasons. Would you rather, if he were even to bed Lady Samantha, that he do it now while you are simply betrothed, or to do it once you are married. Many men bed women simply to gain the experience for their wedding nights, to make the experience more joyous for you, their intended."
"I would rather he not sleep with anyone else at all, Carly. Does it not bother you not even a little bit," she brought her forefinger and her thumb together for emphasis, "That Sonny may be one of these many men whom sleep with other women?" she felt a wave of satisfaction as Carly flushed pink, until she opened her mouth and spoke, "I do not worry that Sonny goes and looks for physical gratification. He is more than pleased with me."
A shocked gasp escaped her mouth at the implication. "Are you implying that you are already bedding my brother, despite the fact that you are only betrothed?"
She watched as Carly straightened her shoulders in defiance, her eyes flashing dangerously, "We do not all hold to society's near impossible rules like you, Courtney. He wanted me and I wanted him just as much. As you can see, it has not affected our engagement, we are still to be married."
She watched as a contemplative look came over Courtney's face, she could in fact see the wheels of her entirely overactive brain turning. "So, you are saying to keep Jason from bedding Lady Samantha, I should allow him liberties?"
That was not at all what she was saying. "That is not what I am saying at all," she narrowed her aqua eyes at her friend, "You are hearing me, but you are not listening."
"Au contraire. You have been a ton of help, Carly." a genuine, brilliant smile exploded onto Courtney's face. "Tonight, after the dinner, I shall welcome Jason into my bed."
Carly knew by the determined look on Courtney's face that there was no talking her out of a sigh, she turned her back on her friend, looking over her shoulder, "Lace me up?"
"Are you ready?" Elizabeth asked, sticking her head into Sam's room. She easily could have sent a maid, but she would much rather have one on one interaction with Sam. She did not want want to live with her friend only to have all of their conversations to be through servants.
"I am." Sam nodded, rising from the seat of her vanity to show her periwinkle gown. "You look amazing, Elizabeth." she said, gesturing with her gloved hand to Elizabeth's teal gown that set her eyes off perfectly.
"Thank you." she smiled, coming in to the room and collapsing most unlady like on to Sam's bed. "I do not feel so amazing though."
Fastening a pair of pearls around her neck, Sam turned to look at her, "What is wrong?" she questioned, picking up her gown so she was able to move more swiftly to sit on the bed next to her friend. "Are you ill?"
"I am no more ill than I have been every other month since I was in my twelfth year." Elizabeth assured her.
"Are you sure?" Sam asked. She never liked it when her own periods came, it was a messy, completely unnecessary process, but it could not be helped. It was the curse of being a woman.
"Quite. Nothing I cannot handle." she said patting her hand softly. There was something swirling in the back of Sam's mind, like a not fully formed thought, tickling the edge of her subconscious. "Are you alright?" Elizabeth asked.
Sam simply nodded trying her damndest to call up the front of her mind what she was trying to remember. Giving up after a few moments, she shrugged, "I have a feeling that I am forgetting something." Elizabeth looked down at her bare feet, back up at her friend and arched her eyebrow, "You're forgetting your shoes, Sam." she said. Looking down at her own feet, Sam laughed, wiggling her toes.
"So I am."
Rising, she went and slipped on the shoes she had had laid out for the night and turned to Elizabeth. "Shall we go greet our guests?"
With a huge smile, Elizabeth rose off of the bed, "Look at you. Getting ready to greet your guests, as if you were a real lady and a hostess."
Sam scrunched up her face, "Indeed. Do not tell my mother. It might get her hopes up."
They had only invited a few of their closest friends, Sam's family, and their new acquaintances in an attempt to keep it fairly small. After they had greeted everyone that had come through the door-the greeting between Lord Quatermaine and Sam being rather stilted and awkward-, they were shown into the parlor for pre dinner drinks. Sam mingled with Carly and Emily, noticing that Lady Courtney was staying rather close to Lord Quatermaine, which led her to wonder if he had told her about their tete a tete.
"The place is lovely, Lady Samantha." Carly said sincerely, her eyes roaming over the large room. It was large but still intimate, a fire crackling merrily in the fireplace lending warmth to the room.
"Thank you." she smiled, "Elizabeth did most of the decorating, in fact much of this is from her former home. She will be pleased that you like it." She turned her attention to Emily who was looking past Sam completely and ignoring the conversation at large. Sam turned to see what held her attention so raptly, and was startled to see a pair of blue eyes trained intently on her. Flushing, she turned her gaze away from Lord Quatermaine's and turned back to Carly. Before she could call up any piece of social nonsense to say, Emily spoke, "Is it just me or is Courtney acting particularly strange tonight?"
Sam watched as Carly's eyes practically did a complete turnabout within her skull. She could not have rolled her eyes more drastically if she had tried. "She is acting strange because she has completely and utterly lost it." she scoffed.
Emily finally tore her eyes from her brother and his intended. If she wished for answers, she was certain that she would get them from Carly. The woman was Courtney's best friend and her fiance was Jason's best friend. She was bound to know everything. Besides, she was truly concerned for Courtney. She was behaving in a most unCourtney way tonight.
"She has somehow gotten it into her skull that in order to keep Jason and make him remain faithful is to sleep with him. Tonight."
Sam felt shock course through her veins turning her blood to ice and causing her to flush simultaneously. She felt sickened to her stomach at the mere thought of Lord Quatermaine bedding another woman so soon after he had bedded her, even if the woman was to be his wife. She took in a shuddering gasp, her hand rising to clutch at her throat, a nervous habit that she had learned from her mother.
She saw Carly look at her critically and she somehow knew that despite all of the woman's idle chatter and social nonsense, that she knew. Somehow she had figured out or heard what had transpired between Jason and herself, and she knew.
"Lady Samantha, you look flushed. Shall we take a brief stroll outside so you might get some air?" Carly asked, offering her hand to the brunette. Emily took the obvious cue and excused herself to go speak to her mother. Sam took Carly's outstretched hand. She caught Elizabeth's worried glance from across the room and shook her head, discreetly indicating that she was fine. She let Carly maneuver them through the small crowd and out to the small door leading to their garden. It was nowhere near as grand as the Quatermaine garden, or even as large as Elizabeth's old mansion's garden, but it was still a nice size and come spring would be filled with various eye popping beauty. Once the door was safely closed behind them and they had made a short way down the path, Carly had released her hand, and turned a look onto her that penetrated her.
Sam was at a loss of words. She had no idea to say to the best friend of the woman's betrothed she had bedded. None of her mothers tedious lessons had covered this.
"While you are obviously scrambling for something to say, let me speak." Carly said, continuing to stroll leisurely down the garden path. She took Sam's silence as an acceptance. "I overheard Jason and Sonny speaking in the Corintho's library on my way up to go see Courtney. I will be the first to admit that I have a slight problem of listening on in conversations that I have no business overhearing. Jason was saying how the two of you had exchanged certain...liberties at the Masquerade ball thrown by Countess Alcazar."
There was no point in denying it and insulting the woman's intelligence, so Sam simply nodded. Seeing her confirmation, Carly shrugged and continued talking. "I have not told Courtney, nor do I plan to. Jason had his sights set on you. Twas obvious from the first time I met you, when he caught you so you would not fall. It was so," she paused trying to figure out a suitable enough word. "Intense."
Sam decided to interrupt her then, a question flirting with her mind, "If you do not mind me asking, why will you keep your knowledge a secret? Especially from Lady Courtney who is to you what Elizabeth is to me."
Carly shot her a sharp, incredulous look. "You would deliver news that would achieve nothing but heartache to your best of friends? Courtney would be devastated. She is already almost insane with insecurity as it is. I shall not be the one to add to it, though I must say that the conversation that we had earlier this afternoon did not help matters. I am afraid that she got the idea that bedding Jason was the way to go after she learned that I have had liaisons with Sonny."
This was another, though slightly less, shock to Sam. She had assumed that Lady Carly was as much as a proper lady as Lady Courtney and would not entertain the thought of engaging in intercourse before marriage.
"I did not bring you out here to condemn you, Lady Samantha. But to let you know that I would not reveal your indiscretion. I know Jason almost as well as Sonny does. I know that once he sets out to acquire something, it usually becomes his, and he wanted you. It was almost as if he wished to covet you. It is hard to say no when you have those blue eyes trained on you, the word never even enters your mind."
This made Sam look up sharply, eyeing Carly critically, "You seem" as if you speak from experience." she hedged, her voice taking on a harsh edge.
"Certainly not." the blonde laughed with a wave of her hand. "But I am a woman with a pulse. I can appreciate men. I just cannot act on any urges that I may have."there was another pause while Sam shot her a cynical look. "He is my betrothed. It is different." she defended herself. The two women exchanged a smile. They finished their stroll around the gardens before deciding to head back in.
The dinner passed in a flurry, Sam too lost in her own thoughts to be much entertainment. Elizabeth had continued to shoot her questioning and concerned looks throughout the night. She was happy when she was able to escape later that night and slip in her bed. The dinner had been uneventful for the most part, though she could not have given anyone that statement on her life. She was too much in her own head. So much had happened in such a short span of time that she was unsure how much more she could process. She knew she would have to ease Elizabeth's mind soon as her friend had a tendency to assume the worst in almost all situations. Loosing her husband had turned her once optimistic friend a little pessimistic, though she kept her kind heart.
Snuggling down into the warmth that her blankets. With a sigh, she attempted to turn her mind off. She felt the elusive edges of sleep come to her, her mind drifting into the wonderful dark place inside her head that led to dreams. Almost completely submerged, she shot back up in her bed, her heart beating rapidly against her chest. She began taking deep shuddering breaths, trying to calm down. There was no way. It could not be possible.
Her curse was two weeks late.