Leave Me Out With The Waste This Is Not What I Do. It's The Wrong Kind Of Time To Be Thinking Of You. It's The Wrong Time For Somebody New. It's A Small Crime. But I've Got No Excuse. Is That Alright Yeah? You Throw My Gun Away When It's Loaded. Is That Alright? If You Don't Shoot Then How Am I Supposed To Hold It. Is That Alright With You? No.-" 9 Crimes", Damien Rice.
Potions lessons that week were painful. Sephie didn't say a word to Sirius, and he didn't do anything but stare at the back of her head. He didn't listen to a word Slughorn was saying when it came to potions, but as soon as he came over to Sephie and commented on the friendship blossoming between her and Jack he felt the words carve through him like a knife. He wanted to apologise to her more than anything for what he said, he agreed with Remus and James that what he'd shouted was a tad bit harsh, but he didn't want her to think that he was happy about what she did. He wanted her to be sorry for ditching him again, but not speaking to her was getting hard. And lonely. And was making her closer to Jack. He cornered Lily in the common room that evening as she left them to go to bed and asked her what was the deal between Sephie and Jack. Lily gave him a sad look as she said they were getting close. That they were spending alot of time together now she didn't come visiting them in disguise. That Miranda had said they often stayed up talking well into the night. Like her and Sirius used to do. But her and Sirius used to have fun, he thought to himself. They could go out as dogs and stay out and play around, swim, talk. They didn't talk about things like politics or transfiguration. They talked about the universe. About what they believed. What they wanted. Sirius lie in bed that night hoping Sephie would come wake him up so they could go out, but she didn't. He did it every night. She never did. She was too busy talking about facts and figures in the Ravenclaw common room. Sirius lie there imagining what he and Sephie could be doing. Swimming in the lake. Visiting the Centaurs. Anything. Why did he always put his foot it? All he had to do was sit there. Then he could have told her he was upset. But this was him. He mentally bashed his head against a wall. He couldn't tell anyone anything. Sephie said it herself-I think that's the most complimentary thing you've ever said to a girl and meant it.... Sirius was angry at himself in his sleep. He woke up knowing he had to apologise. He had Potions that afternoon. He scrawled the words down-Meet me in the entrance hall in our free period. Please. X. Sephie didn't look around, but she did look at the parchment. She didn't write anything back. She just folded it and put it in her pocket. He sighed. He went there anyway, not believing she was going to turn up. It was ten minutes into the free period and there was no-one around. He was going to go. He didn't want to look like an idiot. He'd already done it for her enough times. But there she was. It was the last lesson of the afternoon, so she'd already changed out of her robes and into a grey cardigan over a black dress and tights. And the little white brogues. He smiled sadly as he saw them. She didn't make any eye contact. All she said was "What?" as she crossed her arms. Sirius grabbed hold of her wrist and pulled her outside. He was careful not to tug to hard. He didn't want to be too forceful. She followed him up the stairs, through a few corridors, through a maze of doors and walls until she saw a corridor she'd never seen before, and into a room she didn't know existed. It was empty aside from a few old chairs and broken tables, some moth eaten sofas that looked ancient yet magnificent.
"Wow," Sephie said. It was a giant store room. Sirius closed the door and sat cross legged in one of the sofas, waiting for Sephie to join him as she looked around at the furniture. She seemed to forget why they were meeting as she plonked herself down on the sofa. "Seph.." he began, and that brought her back. She scowled at him and picked at the sofa. He sighed. "Look, Persephone. I honestly don't know what got into me. I just...I went to the party with you. I expected us to hang out and have fun like the others were, but you ditched me to talk about stuff I don't even understand. I guess I was trying to piss you off. I guess I was trying to wind you up. I just..."
"Wanted some attention," Sephie finished, looking at him. He nodded and looked down in shame. "Sephie, I'm so sorry. I just...I don't know what else to do. Getting girls is all I can do. I don't know anything fantastic about some thing, that's Moony. And I don't play Quidditch, that's James. All I'm good at is getting girls."
"That's not true," Sephie said quietly, looking back down at the sofa. Sirius waited for her to go on, but it was silent for a few seconds before continued. "You're more than just some slut, you know you are. You tell me that all the time. And now you're telling me you're not when you know you are. I know you are.". Sirius closed his eyes and layed his head back. Sephie looked up at him. "Sirius, if you want to be taken seriously you have to really..stop...it. Stop doing it." Sirius nodded. "Look, I know you don't tell anyone anything. I Know you only let me know all this cool stuff about you. I'm guessing James doesn't know your theory on how the world began? And I'm sure Melissa doesn't know you want to be a Curse Breaker. But I do know. Not even McGonagall knows this about you." She leant over and put her arms around his chest and curled her legs under her. "You're a lot better than you think you are, Sirius.".
He ran lifted his hand from around her back, and keeping his eyes closed, ran his fingers through her hair. They sat in silence for a few minutes. Sirius opened his eyes, half thinking Sephie was asleep as her breathing had become deep and slow. She was awake.
"Do you mean that?" he asked. She looked up at him, lifted her head and looked into his grey eyes.
"Of course I do.".
And before she could say another word, her lips were covered by his.
She didn't protest. His fingers tangled in her hair. He couldn't believe he was kissing Persephone. It felt so familiar...he didn't know why. Maybe it was the feeling of knowing more about his kissee than just a name. Maybe that's why he felt so much more connected with her. His fingers and toes tingled. He leant her back onto the sofa, her hands on his back, up his shirt. Gripping his chest. His other hand was holding her small face, his thumb firmly on her cheek. She held the back of his neck, held him to her. Neither wanted the other to stop this. Sirius could smell the coconut of her shampoo.The raspberry scent of her perfume. He could feel her hawbone. Her cheekbone. He could feel her curls crunching under his grip. He felt her hands across his ribs, her fingers gripping at the skin, the others massaging his neck. Her hand left his chest and pulled up his shirt, breaking the kiss for a second to slip it over his head. Their eyes opened and caught each other for a few seconds, drilling into each other before her hand pulled him back down. The other gripped his upper arm now, felt his muscles as he held himself above her. He unbuttoned her cardigan, moving his weight into the hand beneath her hair. Slipped it over her shoulder. Moved his lips to her neck. She breathed, stitlted deep breaths out as his own breath tickled her neck warmly. His fingers traced her collar bone, ran down her arm...She stiffened suddenly. Sirius stopped. "What is it?" he breathed into her ear. Her fingers left his skin. Pushed him slightly. "I can't..."
"Why?"
"Me and Jack...We're...together.."
Sirius felt his face drop. He let her push him off and mutter "I'm sorry," before she left him. Alone. Again.
Persephone was by the lake with Jack. They were cuddling. She'd told Sirius in a note in Potions not to tell anyone. She didn't talk to him after that. But that didn't mean she didn't think about him. If she was honest, the only reason she brought Jack here was because of Sirius. It was were he brought her on their walks out. She missed it. It wasn't the same with these arms around her. They weren't long enough. His hair wasn't shabby enough. His eyes too brown. His face not blessed with the model looks that attracted all the swoons of girls. When he kissed her he didn't crumple her curls in his grip or stroke her collar bone. His arms didn't fit right in her hands. His chest was too broad. His lips didn't want her enough. Not like Sirius' did. She closed her eyes and tried to imagine.