chapter eleven: crossroads

At last the door was opened, letting lukewarm light slip inside. Rom was standing there, his face as emotionless as ever. "We have docked," he grunted. "Her Excellence requests that you accompany her."

I followed him out of the ship. We were docked just outside the stone gates of a town. Maleficent was waiting in front of the ship. "There's my little space waif," she greeted. "This is Traverse Town, child. The crossroads of many universes. I have some business to attend to here, and I thought you might like to come along."

I only glared at her in response. I was still too shaken and shattered by my period of dark solitude to speak. Even if I could have, I'm not sure there would have been enough words to express the loathing I felt for Maleficent just then. I noticed soon that I was shivering, uncontrollably. I wrapped my arms around myself.

"Oh, honestly, child. You're a wretched mess." She reached inside her cloak pocket and pulled out a vial of her infamous black liquid. "Here you are then, this should straighten you out."

I snatched the vial from her hands quicker than I could think, and had swallowed all of its contents whole in seconds. Maleficent turned and lead me through the gates into the city. The cobblestone square and neon lights gave me the sweeping sensation of deja vu. I could not remember ever being there before, but somehow it all reminded me of Sora.

We went up the steps, past a strongly familiar building with a smoking chimney. We left the first district and entered the second. "There's a hotel just up the street," said Maleficent. "I have a room waiting for us."

The hotel was small, with only a single narrow hallway. Mismatched paintings and wilting flowers lined the walls. Maleficent stopped at the front desk to pick up a key, and then unlocked a door with the number four on it.

"Here we are, this is splendid," she said, shutting the door behind her and tossing her small black satchel on to the bed. She threw back her head and sighed, indicating that she thought the room was not splendid at all. "Ringing any bells, Riku, dear? Recognize anything? Nearly anyone who's traveled the universe has crossed paths with Traverse Town at one point or another."

"No," I said, not looking at her. I focused my attention upon the chipping blue paint on the walls. "I've never been here before." I paused. "How do you know my name? I never told you my name." I didn't want her to know it; it frightened me to think that Maleficent could know anything about me at all. I wanted to remain as unconnected to her as possible.

Her lips twitched, suppressing a grin. "I doubt that there is a soul among my crew who doesn't know your name by now, my child. You certainly spent enough time screaming 'I am Riku' at the top of your lungs." She then shrugged carelessly, seeming somewhat bored. "Shame. If you'd ever been here, there might have remained some clue to your past. Someone might even recognize you."

"There is someone," I said, speaking before I really considered what I was telling her. My thoughts spilled out before I could stop myself from divulging. I wanted to keep as much hidden from her as possible, and there I was handing over my most secret desire. However, I could not resist the temptation of her assistance in this matter. Perhaps Sora and Kairi were right there in Traverse Town, searching for me just as I searched for them. Her eyes gleamed with interest as I continued. "I have these two friends from... from back home. They're looking for me. I have to find them."

She stroked her chin and looked down at me with dark contemplation. "Looking for you? How lovely. But... how can you be so sure? When did you last see these friends of yours?"

There was cruelty in that question, for she knew as well as I that I didn't know when I'd last seen them. "Look, forget it. Forget I said anything." I turned away from her and sat down in a dusty blue armchair. I rested my chin on my hand and tried hard not to let her see how angry I was. How much she got to me.

She snarled. "Fine then. But if you're going to pout, I want you out of my sight. I have work to do and I don't want your childishness disturbing me." She retrieved her satchel from the bed and sat down at the small table on the other side of the room. "Clean yourself up or something. You look dreadful."

I would have liked to bring up the fact that I looked dreadful because she'd locked me up in a dungeon for several days, but I wisely held my tongue. Instead I did as she said. I went into the small bathroom and left her alone to work. The thought of spending another second in the same room with her was unbearably suffocating.

I turned the nozzle over the aged ceramic bath tub and let scalding hot water sprinkle out of the showerhead. I shed my clothes and tossed them onto the floor. It occurred to me that this was the first time I'd bathed in weeks. I let the water wash away weeks' worth of sweat and blood and loneliness and carry it down the drain. To be clean made me feel just a little less burdened. I thought of Kairi and Sora again, and hoped I would be with them soon. I could not stand much more of being Maleficent's prisoner.

When I returned to the room, Maleficent was packing her things away. She did not turn to look at me as she spoke. "Ah, there you are. Don't you just feel fresh as rain now?" she said without conviction. It was interesting to me that she could say the sunniest things in her dark, viscous voice. She didn't even pretend to be sincere. "I have to be running along now. People to see, deals to make. You can stay here and try to rest yourself, dear child." She paused and looked at me, almost threateningly. "You know, I'd be more than willing to help you find your little friends. But you have to accept the possibility that maybe your friends aren't even coming for you."

Anger bubbled within in me. I used what little strength I possessed to keep it inside. I said nothing.

She then reached inside her black bag and pulled out my wing-blade sword, the sword I'd dreamt of in my time of isolation. She tossed it carelessly onto the bed. "Here. You'll need this if any... undesirable guests show up. I shall return in half an hour. Stay out of trouble."

She left without so much as another glance at me. I snatched up the sword immediately, savoring the familiar warmth of the hilt. To have it in my possession again was overwhelmingly rejuvenating. I could hardly believe that she had left me there all alone with it, with no other instructions besides, "Stay out of trouble." I strongly doubted my luck was this good, and wondered where the catch was. I walked over to the door and tried the handle. Sure enough, she'd left it unlocked. Surely Maleficent hadn't been so foolish as to leave me free to walk away, weapon in hand? I pushed open the door and took a tentative step into the hallway; I was half-certain one of Malifcent's goblin guards would be waiting to pounce on me. But nothing happened. The hall was deserted. Down the hall, the clerk snored softly at the front desk. I grinned. Maleficent had strongly overestimated my obedience to her, it seemed.

I wasted no time in getting as far away as possible. I stumbled along the stone walkway past the shops until I reached the stairs to the lower level. The district square was empty and ominous, with no other sound but the gentle splashing of the fountain on the north side. I could hear the hollow echo of my own footsteps on the stone as I wandered.

In the back of my mind I heard the dull rumble of familiar whispers. I knew that they were coming. Black spectral Heartless appeared out of thin air, closing in on me like storm clouds. They stared me down with their dying-fire eyes as they pounced, filling me with iciness as their flesh touched mine. Darkness, darkness. They filled me with a seething pain that forced me to the ground. The harsh whispers grew louder; they were breathing right on my face. Every one of them that touched me had a story. I was overwhelmed by the images of people I'd never met, places I'd never seen. Entire lifetimes of thoughts and existences, speeding uncontrollably through my brain.

I squeezed the hilt of my sword tightly, letting its warmth feed me and fight off the darkness. I screamed and it echoed throughout the abandoned district. Slowly I tore them off of me; they moved like liquid but they felt heavy as stone. I teetered on the edge of giving in to their toxic power, but I drew just enough strength from the sword to resist. I sliced through the horde of them without thinking, just focusing on escaping that suffocating darkness.

All that remained when it was over was the rising iridescent smoke that the Heartless left behind. I stared at the edge of the blade in my hand, which was now stained with shining black. I smiled at it with a strange sense of satisfaction. It was almost uplifting. I turned and continued to meander through the alleyway of the second district until at the end of one path I spotted a door. I went through it and found myself in the next district. Unlike the other, though, I knew that this one was not abandoned. I heard voices not far away.

I saw him turning the corner and for a moment thought I was hallucinating; that wouldn't really be unusual for me, at this point. But Sora was really there, mere feet in front of me, solid and breathing, after so long of dreaming of him. I could have fallen at his feet right then. "Save me, my friend," I would have said. "I've lost everything and you are all I have left." But then I noticed his face more clearly, so full of joy. Carefree, as if he had no troubles in the world. I saw strange animal creatures walking loyally at his side. Maleficent's words started ringing in my ears, making me feel sick to my stomach. And the voice again, in my mind, spoke in serious tones.

Look at him. Look how he acts like nothing even matters. Do you honestly believe he's been searching for you? He doesn't even care that you exist. He knows nothing of the pain you have felt.

But that can't be true, I thought. We promised to stay together. I don't know much, but I remember at least that much. Sora wouldn't forget about me.

But look, he already has.

How can you know for sure? I asked. Why can't we just ask him?

I know it because I see it in front of me. Sora has betrayed you. Do not disgrace yourself by asking for HIS pity. You must show him no weakness. You must owe him nothing. Be strong.

I nodded to myself. I took in a deep breath, ignoring my wounds. I walked with a confident swagger to where my best friend stood and approached him as though this was a casual encounter on the street. I would not lower myself to the level of letting him know how I was falling apart inside.

"There you are," I said, calmly. I smiled at him, hating him all the while. And yet, I desperately wanted him to grab hold of me, tell me he cared. "What's going on?"

He froze, as his two companions stared in confusion. "Riku!" he cried, reaching out and touching my face.

I pushed his hand away. His touch was not as welcome as I thought; it only made me angrier. "Hey, hey, cut it out."

"I'm not dreaming this time, right?" There was such childishness on his face. How could he know anything about how awful dreams could be?

"I hope not." I flipped my hair back as I pretended to find this whole situation slightly boring. In a scary way, I reminded myself of Maleficent. "It took forever to find you..." Forever, and now it seemed all for nothing.

He grinned, and emitted my name from his lips as a sigh of relief. "Riku."

I tossed my shoulder to indicate that he should follow me. "Come on, let's walk."

He trailed behind me somewhat reluctantly, while his friends eyed me with uncertainty. I wished strongly that they would just go away. Why were they even here?

"Wait a minute, where's Kairi?" Sora asked suddenly.

I turned around, and my heart raced. "Isn't she with you?" He hung his head. He had not found Kairi, either. I nearly lost myself for a moment, seeing flashes of Kairi's haunting presence in my dreams, wondering how she would survive alone out there. But I didn't want Sora to see that I cared. "Well, don't worry. I'm sure she made it off the island, too."

Except I wasn't sure at all. I began to doubt that she was even still alive. Perhaps her painful messages to me were merely her ghost. I turned these thoughts around, made them into something happy. Something that would fool Sora. "We're finally free. Hey, she might even be looking for us now. We'll all be together again soon. Don't worry, Sora, leave everything to me. I know this-"

I had been concentrating so hard on weaving my lies that I hadn't noticed Sora wander off. A Heartless had appeared, and with the gleaming golden key he carried he cut through it in one clean swipe. I felt sick with envy at the sight. The power radiating from the weapon was incredible. It blinded my senses with its mystique.

Sora grinned, a smile that seemed strongly familiar from our childhood. A smile of competition. "Leave it to who?"

"Sora, what did you-"

"I've been looking for you and Kairi, too, with their help." He proudly nodded in the direction of his two friends.

I peered down at them with apathy, and they looked back at me with the same. "Who are they?"

The smaller of the two, a duck, stepped forward. "Ahem. My name is-"

Sora cut him off. "We've visited so many places and worlds, looking for you."

I watched the duck's eyes fall on Sora. Jealousy burned inside them as he tried to grab hold of Sora with only his gaze. Bitterness filled inside me. "Really? Well what do you know? I never would have guessed."

The other one, an oversized dog, spoke up. "Oh, and guess what? Sora's the Keyblade Master!" His voice was teeming with cheerful naïveté.

"Who would've thought it?" the duck added. I could feel my envy burn deeper, as I watched Sora clutch the Keyblade in his hand. He beamed with pride as his two cronies lingered lovingly at his sides, enamored of him. It made me sick.

With playful anger, Sora turned to the duck and pouted. "What's that mean?"

I wanted it. I wanted that blade more than anything, more even than I had wanted Sora and Kairi in my times of darkness. I needed it. Come to me, I thought, as I longed to feel it in my hands. And strangely, as I thought it, it quickly turned to nothingness in Sora's hands and reappeared in mine. I almost laughed. "So this is called a Keyblade?" I asked, knowing its name at once. I moved it through the air to test it out. It was almost too much for me. Its glorious potency was overwhelming. It tinged my skin.

"Huh?" said Sora, slight hints of worry in his voice. I could imagine how it might feel to lose control of such a weapon. I enjoyed the idea of Sora's anxiety. "Hey! Give it back!" He fumbled and fell to the ground as he reached out for it.

For a moment I thought I would never be able to let go of the Keyblade. But then I looked at Sora, flat on the ground. And I remembered that I didn't want to show him that I needed him. There was no way I could be interested in his pathetic Keyblade. "Catch," I said, disgust in my voice. I tossed it carelessly back to him.

"Whoa! Okay, so you're coming with us, right? We've got this awesome rocket..."

"No," said the duck in an offended tone. "He can't come."

Sora and the duck quickly engaged themselves in a childish argument, but I already felt my feet marching away from him. This wasn't anything like the way I wanted it. I saw my last hope crushed before me eyes. I truly was lost. I had no link to anyone, no hope of a past or a future. Sora was like a stranger, and Kairi was likely dead. I went back through the door from which I'd come, and didn't stop until I was sure he was completely no longer within my sight or earshot.

When I emerged from the back alley, Maleficent was there, standing in the middle of the second district square, engaged in hushed conversation with a sour-faced elderly woman. The woman was tightly gripping the arm of a young girl whose wrists were bound by rope and whose mouth was gagged with a dirty cloth. The girl was dressed in a shimmering blue gown, and would have looked somewhat royal if she weren't so worn down and disheveled.

"Well, she certainly fits all the credentials," Maleficent was saying, touching one of the blonde tendrils of hair that had escaped from the girl's sophisticated up-do.

"Absolutely. Cinderella worked her way up from servant-girl to princess of all the land," the old woman told Maleficent. She made these remarks with an unmistakable bitterness, and spat them right in Cinderella's face. "Until, of course, the Darkness came. And then she found herself very much in my clutches again. She worked for me for many years, I have no doubts she'll suit whatever purpose you have in mind."

"Yes, she will do just fine..." Maleficent's words fell off at the end as she turned her head and spotted me. A mischievous grin spread across her lips. "All right then. My ship is docked at the third port, it's the R.L.S. Legacy II. Take her there, and my servant Rom shall give you the payment we agreed upon."

The old woman nodded and bowed to Maleficent before giving Cinderella's arm a fierce jerk and leading her away. Maleficent strolled casually toward me, clanking her long staff against the stone with each step. "There you are, child," she said. "I was just on my way back to the hotel. Did you find what you were looking for?"

My hatred for Maleficent strongly overpowered my current disappointment in Sora. I could never let her see how much I was hurting; she preyed too much upon my weakness already. "Yes," I said. "I found my friend Sora. And he and his new friends have a rocket, and they're taking me with them. So it looks like you and I won't be seeing each other any more." I turned quickly and started running away, worried of what she might do to make me stay. But instead of attacking me, she used the absolute worst of her powers: her words.

"New friends, do you say? Oh, dear. I certainly hope there will be room for you. I hope he hasn't... forgotten you."

I wanted to keep running, back to Sora, where I could escape. But I had to stop. I had to turn around and face her, show her I was stronger than her. "You don't even know what you're talking about, okay? Sora and I are friends. We stand by each other no matter what. I know someone like you couldn't understand that, but that's how it is." I wanted to convince myself as much as her that Sora had not really betrayed me.

She grinned cruelly as she drummed her bony gray fingers against the staff in her hand. "That may very well be true... most of the time. But let me tell you something you might not understand, child. In the real world, harsh times force friendships apart. Loyalty becomes next to worthless. You and your friend have been separated for some time now, and you have both faced many troubles in these dark times, I'm sure. Your friend has obviously given up on you, and found replacements to be there for him in his travels. What use could he possibly have for you now?"

"Shut up!" I clenched my fists together at my sides. "You don't know anything. You wouldn't understand." I swallowed hard. Deep down, I was frightened that maybe she understood all too well.

She laughed slowly and coldly. "My dear, sweet, foolish child." She took the sharp crimson nail of her index finger and grazed it lightly beneath my chin. "Let us simply see for ourselves."

She raised her great staff into the air, mumbled a few words, and suddenly deep gray smoke surrounded us and I felt cold all over. Seconds later, the smoke cleared and we appeared somewhere in the third district, right outside a window of a small house, lit with golden light. My stomach did turns. Sora was inside with his new companions; not only the duck and the dog, but several others, all of them talking excitedly. My disappearance did not seem to have upset him in the slightest. He was carrying on just fine without me. I was overwhelmed. I could not decide whether to lash out with rage or sink into despair.

"You see?" Maleficent boasted in her dreadful croon. "It's just as I told you. While you toiled away trying to find your dear friend, he quite simply replaced you with some new companions. Evidently, now he values them far more than he does you. You're better off without that wretched boy. Now, think no more of him, and come with me. I'll help you find what you're searching for."

I seriously doubted whether or not Maleficent even knew what I was searching for. But that was honestly irrelevant. I knew what she was getting at: a bargain. We were going to make a deal. I would give her what she wanted, and she would give me what I wanted in return. All I had to do was turn my back on one of my best friends. Not so big a sacrifice, when it came down to it. Not after what he'd done to me. The voice within only reassured me.

You have no need for this traitor. Sora has clearly cut all ties with you. Do not belittle yourself any longer by believing you need his help. Maleficent has power, power of which you cannot fathom. She is the one who will get you what you want.

"All right," I said, softly. "Hook me up with some more of that black stuff of yours, and then we'll sit and talk about our next move."

Maleficent smiled. "Excellent choice, my child."