Chapter 11
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Arianne took a flight straight from New York to Las Vegas that Monday, because she had to be on a meeting as ordered by the Chairman himself. And because it's his birthday, they had to make the show extra special.
Randy tried calling Arianne but she wasn't picking up her phone, so his calls were all getting redirected to her voice mailbox. He assumed that maybe she was busy or just out of coverage area.
They were all supposed to stay in the same hotel anyway, so he was sure he was going to see her when he gets there.
The truth is, she just didn't want to talk to him at the moment. Staying with Cat made her think about their relationship. She made her question a lot of things, like where she expected things to go and how she would be so much better off having a relationship with someone else who's not a married man.
Cat made her think if Randy actually really has feelings for her—if he actually loves her and not just using her to satisfy his needs and desires. He's never said those words to her. Never. Not even when she says it first, and she had said it a lot.
She defended him, telling Cat that he's taking a risk being in a relationship with her. But Cat told her she was the one who was making the bigger risk by not only putting her job and reputation on the line, but also her future and what could have been.
But what if all of what Cat had insinuated was true? She dismissed all of it outwardly, but it kills her silently inside when she thinks about it. She didn't even heed to her suggestion to entertain Richard, the guy she met at the bar.
She gave him Cat's number instead of hers just because she didn't want to be cheating on Randy in any way, but what if that was her chance for redemption—for real happiness in the arms of someone else?
Happiness. Is there such a thing when all her heart was screaming for is the only man she can never have completely?
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Finally, Randy arrived at the arena they were staying. After he got settled in his dressing room, he went out and looked for Arianne and found her just as she was coming out of the conference room after a meeting with the Creative Staff.
She was with Stephanie when he approached, but she was about to leave.
"There you are!" He said to Arianne. "Stephanie." He said, acknowledging her.
"Randy." Stephanie said back, as she stood up. "I'll see you later, Ari." She said to Arianne.
"Okay." Arianne said.
Randy sat down beside her. "Been looking all over for you."
She sighed. She wanted to hug him right then, feeling like something was gripping at her heart, but she kept herself from doing so.
"Well, you found me." She said, as un-emphatically as she could, barely glancing at him.
She turned her laptop off and closed the lid, and then put it inside her bag. Randy was just trying to read what her mood is, but he couldn't. She was almost like a wall of ice, too cold and too blank to read anything.
She stood up and started heading out the room. He got up and followed her to parking area inside the arena where her rental car is. She didn't tell him to go away, which she would have no problem saying if that was what she wanted.
He looked around making sure no one was there before he spoke again.
"I missed you last week." He said, trying to get a reaction from her.
"Really?" She said, in the same manner as before, coldly. "I'm sure you did."
"Okay, what's going on?" Randy asked, confused because he just then realized that she was mad at him and he didn't know why. "Talk to me."
"I don't want to talk about it right now." She said.
"Did something happen to you in New York?" He turned to her and put his hands on her shoulder. "You know you can tell me anything."
She looked at him and just like every other time, when he looks at her with his eyes so mellow, she feel her walls breaking down. But she just doesn't want to tell him about it.
"I know…Nothing happened." She said, taking his hands off her shoulders slowly. "Not in New York anyway."
And that's when it finally hit him. "Is this about…Sam?"
"Randy, please." She sighed. "I really don't want to talk about this right now."
"When are we gonna talk about it then?" He asked.
She touched his face and she wanted so much to kiss him, but she can't. It all just hurts too much right then.
"Soon." She said, "Just…just let me get over this for a while. I'll come to you."
Something told him he shouldn't force the issue, and let her go. He figured maybe she wasn't ready to talk about it because she's confused.
Besides, he doesn't know how he was going to feel or if he's ready to hear it if she happens to be having second thoughts about their relationship. He doesn't even want to think about it right now.
He hated that feeling. It was like when he was trying to avoid her and push her away, except now he feels like she's the one pulling away from him and it seems to hurt ten times more.
She got on her rental car and left her stuff there, then she headed back to the lift and he let her go without a word. He stood there like he was planted right where he was, watching her walk farther and farther away, even though he wanted so much to go after her, until the elevator door closed.
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Later that night…
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"Are you and Arianne fighting again?" Cody asked.
He, Ted and Randy were in the dressing room after the show, getting ready to leave the arena. He'd noticed that Randy and Arianne barely spoke to each other since they got there. They barely even look at each other, and he just had to ask.
"Why would they be fighting?"Ted asked.
"I don't know." Cody said. "It's just so obvious that they are."
Ted looked at him, as if he just asked Randy to kill him, like he can't believe he just said that.
"Look, Codeman…" Randy sighed. "I know your heart is in the right place, and you're just being a good friend." He zipped his bag then, and looked at Cody. "But I don't believe that's any of your business."
And then he up and left. Cody and Ted just stood silent for a few seconds after he got out of the room.
"They are, aren't they?" Ted asked. "It's so obvious."
"Yeah…" Cody said, "I swear, it's like dealing with quarreling parents, except they aren't."
That week ended without the two of them resolving their issues. Randy went home and kept himself occupied. He spent all his time with his family, and busied himself with hobbies, keeping his mind off Arianne as much as he could.
But when he's by himself, he can't help but think about her. What was she going to tell him when she finally decides to talk to him about it?
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Detroit, MI August 31, 2009, Monday
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The last couple of days, Arianne and Randy still hadn't talked about their problems. She eludes him mostly, knowing that if he talks to him—if he so much as touches her, that she would lose her resolve. But after days of mulling it over, Arianne finally decided to talk to Randy.
She sent him a message after that night's house show asking to see him and to meet her at the hotel she's staying in. He left the arena after the show, and drove there as quickly as he can and almost got a speeding ticket. Luckily for him, the cop was a fan and let him go with a warning.
She was talking to her friend Cat over the phone when he got there.
"I'll talk to you later, Cat." She said over the phone. "He's here."
She put the phone down and got the door. As soon as he got inside, Randy grabbed and kissed her before she could even close the door.
"God, Ari, I missed you." He managed to say.
He felt like his heart was about to jump out of his chest. He missed her in ways he couldn't even explain even though they see each other all the time.
He missed holding her in his arms, the touch of her skin, the smell of her hair, and the taste of her lips. Arianne feels the same way, but there were matters she needed to bring up first.
"We need to talk." She said instead, taking his hands off her face.
He doesn't know what it is, but those four words made him scared, like it's some kind of bad omen. He stood there at the middle of the room, not even knowing where to sit. Normally, he'd be sitting on the bed, but Arianne pulled out a chair for him instead.
"Take a seat." She said.
Randy sat down and waited for her to speak. It's like every second made him more scared, and he can feel his heart beat go faster, until he couldn't keep quiet anymore.
"Ari, just tell me what this is about…"
"About last week…what happened in New York…" Ari started to say before her phone rang again. "I'll just…excuse me."
She stood up and went to balcony to take the call. Randy just sat there, trying to relax. He saw Arianne's laptop on the bed and decided to tinker with it for a while.
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At the balcony…
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"Cat, what is it?" Arianne said on the phone. "I said I'll call you later, Randy's here."
"It's important!" Cat said, "I accidentally sent you something on your email!"
"What? What did you send?"
"Remember Richard?"
"Richard…? Richard who?" She asked.
"You know, that guy you met at the bar last week." Cat said, "You can't possibly have forgotten about him already, even if you're dating your wrestler!"
She remembered then. She gave him Cat's number instead when he asked for hers. "Okay, so what about him?"
"Well, I saw him the other night and he asked about you." Cat said, "He texted me before and I told him I'm not you."
"So?"
"So, he should've gotten the point that you weren't into him if you gave him the wrong number, right?" Cat said, "But he's still interested in you."
"Shit! Did you give him my number?"
"Hell, no!" Cat said, "I know you won't talk to him anyway…especially when your wrestler's around. That guy could hurt you!"
"He's not gonna hurt me, he's not like that!" Arianne said, defending Randy. "That's just his character on TV, he's not that way in person."
"Fine, whatever."
"So what did you accidentally sent me?" Arianne asked, getting exasperated.
"Oh, right that…" Cat said, "The picture of the two of you talking really close at the bar…It was on my drafts and I was supposed to send it to you last week, but I changed my mind…but I accidentally hit send…"
"F**k!" Arianne said.
She wasn't really listening to Cat anymore because she remembered she left her laptop on at the bed and Randy was there.
"I'll call you later…"
She dropped the call and hurriedly went back in the room where she saw Randy tinkering with her laptop with a grim look on his face that made her nervous.
He was looking at her email, and he opened the one that had just come in because it said "NYC pic", and he got curious.
"Randy…"
"Who's this guy?" He asked, in clenched jaw.
"It's nobody…" She said. She took the laptop from him and closed the lid.
To her surprise Randy stood up and grabbed the thing from her and threw it back on the bed, before grabbing her arm.
"Is that why you've been avoiding me? Why you've been cold to me?"
"Randy, let me go!" She told him, "You're hurting my arm!" She pulled her arm off from his grip but he just grabbed her again.
"Tell me who the hell that is and why you're with that son of a bitch!" He was getting angrier by the second. "What? Is he better than me? Are you f**king this guy now? Is that it? Tell me!"
She just lost her temper then because of what he said, and slapped him really hard on the face that knocked him down to the bed. But she suddenly realized what she did.
"I'm…I'm sorry…I didn't mean to…" She sat down beside him, and tried to aide him.
"Don't!" He said, holding his cheek. "Don't touch me!" He stood up then and started towards the door. "If you want to get out of this relationship, go right ahead!"
"That's right, walk away! You would like that, wouldn't you?" She yelled. "You've been waiting for a way out!"
"Me? What about you?" He turned around and charged towards her angrily. "What about you…and that bas***d in that picture! That's why you've been different since you came back from New York, isn't it?" He screamed down at her.
"It's not even what it looks like!" She said. "We weren't kissing! We were just talking…but you'd rather believe what you're thinking!" She started to cry then. "But you know what? You're right…I was different after I came back from New York. Staying there made me think of a lot of things about this relationship!"
"Yeah? Well, fine then!" He said. He turned around because he didn't want to see her crying, and also he was really still pissed off. "Run off with that a**hole if that's what you want!" He walked towards the door again.
"It's not what I want!" She cried after him, "Don't you get it? There's nothing between me and that guy! I just met him there! I didn't even give him my number! I want to be with you…and I don't even know if you feel the same!"
Something she said caught his attention and made him stop on his tracks. What did she mean she doesn't know if he feels the same? He wanted to ask, but something inside him was making him hesitant to do so.
But he didn't really have to ask.
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"See, Randy, I know where I stand." She said. "I know I can't have you completely. And that's okay because I love you. I'm giving everything in this relationship even though I know we might never have a future together. I'm sacrificing that right now!"
She slumped on the bed, "And I'm contented with whatever you can give me…I make do with anything you could give me, no matter how little because I love you, and I thought it would be enough…but I don't even know if there's really something I'm holding on to when you're so ready to jump at the opportunity to end this!"
She paused for a second to catch her breath, and look at him still standing by the door.
"Randy, I don't even know if you love me or you're just keeping me around to keep you company…to satisfy your needs." She said.
She covered her face with both her hands then because she was tearing up so much. He turned around slowly to look at her and saw how miserable she is.
He walked towards her uncertainly. Every part of him wanted to hold her and take her into his arms at the same time he was unsure if he should.
"You know I do..." He said, softly.
"No, I don't." She said, "Not when you can't even say it back when I tell you I love you. You can't even say it now!"
"You know how I feel about you…" He insisted.
"What? That you want me? That you need me?" She asked. "Because that's all you ever tell me!"
"No!" He said, frustrated. "Not just that! Come on…"
"Then tell me…I need to know, Randy." She said, taking his hands, almost pleading to him. "I need to know if there's something I'm holding on to."
"I…" He started to say, but he couldn't say it. He was holding her hands, trying to find the words but it just won't come out. "Arianne…I…"
Arianne just felt more hurt with his hesitation.
Here was his chance to say it, being put in the spot and he still couldn't say the three words she wanted, needed to hear. And that was it for her. It was like a slap in the face, only a hundred times more painful, more scathing.
She pulled her hands off his slowly. It was like the hardest thing to do because it felt like it was her heart she was taking back. And that's what Randy felt to as he felt her hands slip away from his hands, and him being powerless to stop it.
"Please leave." She said softly.
"Ari…"
"Just…please…go."
Her voice was shaking as she said those words, trying to at least maintain her dignity—what's left of it. Randy slowly stood up and walked towards the door, with each step he's taking making his heart heavier, and each sound of his footsteps felt like a sharp knife striking at her heart.
He heard her sobbing softly behind him. But he couldn't turn around. Not when he knew it was his fault and there was nothing he could do to make it better. He gripped the door knob and he felt like he couldn't breathe.
He squeezed it tighter; his hand turning pale from the lack of circulation, hoping it would relieve the pain in his chest to no avail. He could feel his body starting to shake then from the effort he was exerting.
If he gripped that door knob tighter he could've broken it. He opened the door and stepped out of the room and let the door go—like he let go of her just then.
She heard the door close slowly on its own, with a click as it slid in its place. A click that sounded like a scissor snipping at a string that was connecting her to him—and that was when she cried her heart out.
A/N Admit it, you cried. lol Anyway, I just want to thank you all again for reading. And to the new ones who have recently subscribed to the story, I would love to hear from you as well. Let me know what you think. Thank you all! :)