For My Entertainment

I Want To Go Too

Dr. Julien

The level of grief that I felt was almost too awful to bear.

My son was dead...

And my wife may as well been just the same...

They both left me behind to wallow in sadness with my five year old daughter, who seemed to be taking this whole situation in better stride that I.

I cried myself to sleep every night. And often I would question my desire to keep living...

It just wasn't the same when I didn't hear my family playing together merrily...

But I had to stay strong for Elena...if I were to just snap and break then she wouldn't be able to survive.

I heard a knock on my door, reminding me I had been sulking in my lonely room for hours...

"Daddy..." Cooed the angelic voice of my daughter. "Can I come in please?"

I smiled, probably looking a wreck. "Of course dear, come on."

She wasn't quite talk enough to properly reach the doorknob yet so when she opened it she was standing on her toes, holding her hands high above her head so she could grip the knob.

"Hi honey..." I greeted, gesturing her over to me. "What's the matter? Can't sleep?"

She walked up to me and I lifted her up onto my lap, where she sat staring at me for a moment before her porcelain features broke and she hid her face in my chest, crying loudly.

I took a deep breath, I had to stay strong...

"What's wrong with you, love?" I asked again, petting her hair gently.

"Zane isn't here." She wailed softly. "Where is he?"

I cleared my throat, covering a sob. "He...he is in heaven now honey, looking down at us."

"Well I want to go see him." She said.

And thus the bomb had been dropped...

I hugged Elena tight. "Baby...where...where Zane is...we can't go..."

She sniffled. "Why not?"

I cleared my throat again. "B-because...because he...if...if we went...we wouldn't be able to come back..."

"Well I don't WANT to come back unless he is here!" She cried, breaking down and giving in to tears once again.

And I followed suit this time. I needed to let it out...

I knew how she felt...

And she was so young...

No one smith at young should have to suffer a trauma such as this...

But then...

I realized there was a way to bring him back...

"Elena...sweetie...if...daddy could bring Zane back...would you be willing to help?"

She looked up at me expectantly, eyes wide and sparkling blue. "Y-yes..."

I smiled at her. "Because I have a way...but it will take strength..."

She nodded, a determined look crossing her face. "I can do it! I can help you, I promise."

I ruffled up her hair. "Good girl. We will start soon...I'll go get my shovel..."