DIMITRI'S POV

I stood there in the gym, completely lost. I'd watched as the love of my life lost any and all composure she'd had left. I didn't know what to do. I debated on following her, trying to do something, anything to make her feel better, but I knew once again, nothing I could say would help. If anything, I would only make it worse. It's usually how it worked. We'd started off so good. We'd been having a semi-civil conversation, and then… I had to go and ruin it by kissing her. I reached up and touched my lips. I could still taste her there. I stood there for a minute, staring at the door. A part of me was hoping, praying she'd come running back in and throw herself in my arms, but I knew Rose better than that. I knew that was never going to happen, even if she could find it in her heart to forgive me. I was finally starting to realize that maybe I had actually lost her forever. Maybe this was the end of us. Maybe there was nothing I could do to make it better, nothing I could say to make it right. She was gone now. I felt the weight crushing me now. I took a few steps forward, staring at the door. It was then that I lost it. I slammed my fist against the brick wall, ignoring the excruciating pain it caused when I heard the bones in my hand pop and snap. I felt the tears of agony now running down my face. I started out of the gym, and across court going back to my room. When I was safely inside of my room, I lost it, slinging things every which way, tearing my room apart as I took out all the aggression and anger I had for myself. Finally, I gave up… hitting my knees in the center of my room. I'd never really cried, but in this moment I found myself sobbing. I closed my eyes, and cried myself into unconsciousness.

ROSE'S POV

The moment I was out of the gym, I found myself heading for the front doors of court, knowing there was no way I'd be able to make it to my room without being noticed by someone. The moment the sun hit my face, the tears began streaming down my face like a waterfall. I didn't know what to do. How was I supposed to hate him? How was I supposed to give up on him, when he was everywhere? How was I supposed to move on when he was everything I'd ever wanted and more? How was I supposed to walk away from that? I stared up into the sky, wondering why God felt the need to put me through this hell. It was then that I realized that he loved to watch me squirm. I'd killed so many, and felt no remorse. Regardless of them being undead, I'd killed. I put my head in my hands, and let out a hard sob that shook my entire body. I heard the door open behind me, but I was scared to turn around, scared of who I'd find.

"Rose?" I heard. Corey. What the hell was he doing awake at this hour? The moroi world should have been asleep.

"What?" I murmured, trying to hide the fact that I was crying, although I was pretty sure he'd just seen the hard sob that had rocked through me.

"Are you okay?"

"I'm fine, Corey… Please, just go." I murmured. I heard his footsteps approach. Of course he wasn't going to listen. He was too much of a gentleman for that.

"Are you sure?" He asked. I felt his hand touch my arm. I turned then to find his face full of concern. My face was probably streaked with black from my make-up, and I probably looked like I hadn't slept in weeks. I shook my head.

"No… I'm not sure, because I'm not okay." I whispered. It was the first time I'd ever admitted it to anyone. It felt good, but at the same time, it put a weight on my heart that I wasn't sure how to deal with. He grabbed me, and pulled me into a hug, allowing me to sob into his shoulder. I wrapped my arms around his neck, as he wound his around my waist. I wasn't sure how long we'd stood there, before I forced myself away.

"I'm sorry. I just ruined your shirt." I mumbled, wiping my face. He shook his head, and smiled.

"I'm not worried about my shirt. I'm worried about you. What happened?" He asked. I just looked away. I wasn't sure how to begin to explain what had happened. I just shook my head. Another set of tears started streaming down my face. "Hey… Shhh, you don't have to tell me. I'm sorry."

"No… It's not your fault. Don't apologize." I told him, sniffling. I could see him getting really uncomfortable out here in the sunshine. Moroi weren't very fond of the sunshine, being vampires and all. "I need to go, and you need to get inside. What are you doing up anyway?" I asked, wiping my face. He shrugged.

"I was with Jesse and some friends, hanging out. I was heading back to my room when I saw you come out here. I was worried." He told me.

"Come on…" I said, taking his hand, and leading him back inside. He relaxed the moment we were sheltered by courts roof. "You shouldn't have come out there. You know sunshine is bad for you."

"I didn't care. I was worried. I wanted to make sure you were okay."

"Thanks." I murmured. I started to walk away when he called after me.

"Are you going to be okay by yourself?"

"I'll manage." I whispered, before walking away.

"Hey, maybe I should come with you. You know… to keep you company. Keep your mind off whatever it is that's got you so upset." He tried. I turned back to him and smiled slightly, hoping it looked genuine, because I meant the next words I said.

"That'd mean a lot to me." I murmured. He smiled as he walked over to me, and laced his arm through mine, as we walked back to my room. When I got there, I sighed and shut the door.

"Make yourself at home." I said, as I walked over and sat down on the couch. I put my head in my hands and shook my head, trying to pull myself together. I felt him sit down next to me, and put his hand on my back.

"If you need to talk, I'm here."

"I don't know what to do anymore. I'm starting to think coming back was a mistake." I whispered, rubbing my face.

"I'd have to disagree. If you wouldn't have come back, I would have never met you." He murmured. I looked up at him out of the corner of my eye, and smiled slightly.

"That would have sucked for you, huh?" I teased. He chuckled.

"Ouch." He said, feigning to be hurt. I sighed. He sat back and pulled me over to lay my head on his chest. I cuddled into him, and sighed as the tears continued to stream.

"I don't know what I'm going to do." I whispered.

"You'll figure it out. You're smart."

"Not when it comes to things like this." I mumbled as I wiped my face. "I'm an idiot when it comes to things like this. When it comes to what's best for me, I haven't got a clue. When it comes to what's best for other people, I always know. I'm a wreck."

"You're not a wreck… You're just… a fender bender." He tried. I turned to look up at him.

"Nice try." I muttered. He chuckled.

"I'm taking it that this has something to do with Belikov, correct?"

"Everything in my life has to do with him." I whispered, defeated. There wasn't any way around it anymore. My life revolved around him, regardless of how much I wanted to think otherwise.

"You love him." He said. He wasn't asking. He was stating it.

"More than anything."

"Then why aren't you with him?" He asked.

"It's a long, drawn out story, that I don't think I'm capable of discussing." I murmured. He just nodded, as he ran a hand through my hair, twirling it around his fingers.

"You have beautiful hair."

"Thank you." I mumbled. He chuckled.

"Things will eventually get better for you, Rose. They can't stay bad, like this. It's impossible. You're to amazing of a person for them to stay this way." He said.

"I'd like to believe that, but I doubt it's true. I don't think things are ever going to get better. I might have to ditch again. I'm starting to think it's the only way I'm going to get on with my life."

"I'd be sad if you left." He informed me.

"I can't leave Adrian and Lissa again though. They're the only things holding me here now." I murmured. He nodded.

"You love them too. They're your world as well. If you in this much pain and you stay because of them… you must really love them."

"I do. They're everything to me. I left them twice before. I don't think I can do it a third time." I told him.

"You'll do the right thing, I'm sure. Just promise me something?"

"What?"

"Promise you won't leave until you've let me accompany you to the party next week." I couldn't help but chuckle. He was seriously wanting to go to this party with me, and I hadn't even fully agreed to it yet. I just smiled.

"I promise." I finally said. He chuckled and kissed the top of my head. I snuggled closer into him, and felt myself slowly slipping into unconsciousness. I tried to keep my eyes open, but it wasn't working.

"Get some rest, Rose. I'll be here when you wake up." He assured me. He wrapped his arms around me, and held me close, as I allowed myself to give into the exhaustion.