Castle had always marveled at Beckett's strength and compassion when she had to inform a family that their loved one had been murdered. This was one notification she couldn't handle. But they went anyway. The four of them.

They were supposed to stay to give their statements to IA. They knew they'd catch all kinds of hell for leaving the hangar, but they couldn't be there anymore. Uniforms secured the scene. Castle and Beckett left. They met up with Ryan and Esposito and rode together. Through tears, they told the boys everything that Roy had said and done.

One of the Montgomery girls saw the headlights in the driveway and opened the door before they knocked. Detectives Ryan and Esposito in front. Detective Beckett and Mr. Castle just behind them. They were holding hands… but not affectionately. More like supporting each other. The girl was trying to make sense of the sight. She knew as soon as she saw Detective Beckett's red, swollen eyes.

"MOM!"

His wife came out from the kitchen. She saw them at her door, still 30 feet away. They saw it on her face when she realized she was no longer "wife," but "widow." "No. No, no, no. He's retiring in a month. NO!" The other daughter came down the stairs.

This was more than they could take. Kate stepped forward and went to Mrs. Montgomery and held her in a tight embrace. The girls both cried at their mother's side. The men stood, tears rolling down their cheeks.

They knew the dreaded questions were coming, and weren't sure how they would answer.

"How?" "Why?" "Who?"

Castle told Montgomery's family that he took down five professional assassins single-handedly. That they were sent to kill Detective Beckett by whoever had ordered the murder of her mother and at least six others. That he was a hero. He hoped it would give them some comfort. Or at least some pride in his sacrifice.

xxx

They went back to the hangar to give their statements. IA was furious. Castle took the man's flogging without a word.

But when the man lit into Beckett, Castle shoved him and growled, "Fuck off. She'll give her statement when she's good and ready."

He wrapped his arms around her protectively and led her away. The man's partner had to talk him down from arresting Castle on the spot. The partner conducted the rest of the questioning.

Castle stayed at Kate's side through the entire interview. He knew it was unprofessional, but he kept one arm around her and used his other hand to cover both of hers, folded in her lap, the whole time. If she'd minded, he would have moved it. But she seemed to need him there.

When she was done with her statement - which left out Roy's confession of his part in past crimes - Castle said he needed to check in with home and waved Ryan over. She just nodded. He kissed the side of her head and excused himself when Ryan took a seat on Kate's other side.

He called home, hoping Martha would answer. No such luck. "Hey Pumpkin. …I love you. How was your day? …. That sounds great. …. I'm fine, Sweetheart. Rough day is all. … Yes, I- I'll tell you about it tomorrow. Is Grams there? … Hey, Mother. Just checking in. … No, Mother, I'm fine- no, I'm not fine. Montgomery's dead. He killed the men hunting Kate, but he didn't make it through the shootout. … Okay. …. Okay, I will. … I love you too. Kiss Alexis for me. I need to call Kate's dad. ... Okay. 'Night."

His daughter and mother knew from his voice that something horrible had happened. He knew he had to tell them something before they saw it on the morning news. They needed to know he was safe. He hoped his simple stammering let his mother know that it seemed to be over, and that she would explain it to Alexis.

Two hours later, Castle took Kate back to her apartment. He wanted to take her to his loft, but she didn't want to process the night in the presence of Martha and Alexis. She's so predictable, he thought when she insisted on going home. She was surprised to see her father waiting outside her door.

Rick let go of her hand - he'd been holding it nearly all night - for her to hug her father.

The older man didn't try to hide his pain of knowing what happened tonight and relief at holding his baby girl, safe and sound.

"Thank you," Jim said to Rick as he led his daughter into her apartment.

Rick followed, briefly, and stopped in the doorway to tell Kate he needed to go hug his own daughter. He kissed her forehead and said, "I'll be back soon."

Rick shook Jim's hand and left. He could hear Kate asking her father how he knew as the door closed. He could hear the deadbolt click and knew that the answer he couldn't hear was, "Rick called." Leaving her building, he paused to look at the two fist-sized holes in the wall. His mind reeled at all that had transpired in the 30 hours since he showed up here, trying to tell her to just let it go.

Though it was the wee hours of the morning, he was greeted by his mother and daughter jumping up from the couch as soon as they heard his key in the lock, rushing to hug him. He gave the obligatory admonishment that sounded stupid even to him, that they should have gone to bed. Without any thought, he collapsed on the couch, sitting and staring into the very blackest edge of the universe. He told them everything that had happened that night, omitting only Roy's confession, and very nearly broke down. Alexis snuggled close to his side, and fell asleep sitting there with him. He finally succumbed to weariness and slept with his head leaned against his daughter's.

He didn't sleep well, and he didn't sleep long. Gunshots echoed in his dreams: Six… two… one. Kate's sobs. When he woke, it was almost dawn. He carefully laid Alexis down on the couch and went to shower. As though a shower could wash away the terrible truth. The warm water cascaded over his tired shoulders.

Roy had known all along. He knew Pulgotti went to prison for a death he was responsible for. He knew who had orchestrated the cover up. How could he know for all these years and ever look Kate Beckett in the eye? Why did he keep telling us to "find that son of a bitch," when he was the son of a bitch? Did he want us to figure it out? After Raglan and McAllister, did he believe himself to be next? Why didn't he call in the whole team and let us fight at his side? Why had he made it a suicide mission?

Rick was enraged and heartbroken over what his friend had done. His lack of answers was infuriating. He wanted to punch another wall.

The only answer he had was in the first thing Montgomery had told Kate: "I can't go to jail for this." The opening line to his confession mingled with Rick's memory of their conversation after Roy recently brought down his friend, DA Lou Karnacki, for withholding evidence and knowingly prosecuting an innocent man:

"Lou screwed up, but that doesn't take away from the good he's done." I told him that the only thing people would remember about Karnacki was this one bad thing.Was that what made him go in alone without his vest? It had to be.

The irony that Castle usually loved made him hate himself at that moment. Hidden evidence, framing a thug, being found out, all the good being forgotten because one bad thing.

Would it have been different if I had said something else? Instead of pointing out how he ruined his legacy? Rick felt sick.

It was too early to wake his mother, so he left her a note. "Checking on Kate." He knew Alexis should be waking for school, so he went to the couch and kissed her cheek. "Lexie? Wake up."

She rubbed her eyes and sat up a little. "What's wrong?"

"Nothing. I'm just going to go check on Kate, and I didn't want you to worry when you woke up."

She nodded.

"Look, you stayed up late worrying about me. If you need to stay home from school today, you can. It would be justified." He knew she wouldn't cut school just because she was sleepy. He knew she would need permission and justification, but would still make the decision on her own. She just nodded again.

Then she reached up and hugged him. "I'm so sorry, Daddy."

xxx

Yeah, I know that was a downer, but you knew it was coming. I mean, you already saw the episode. The next chapter starts headin back towards fluff.

And sorry for the bad words - I don't talk like that IRL. I kept changing it, but then kept changing it back.

Please review - reviews make me happy!