Disclaimer: I do not own Glee or the world in which this story is based.
Author's Note(s): Bonjourno :-) As always I am incredibly grateful to those of you who have read, alerted, favourited and reviewed the last chapter so thank you! I hope you enjoy this slightly shorter instalment.
No Rest for the Wicked
Chapter 9
"Santana!" Brittany scolds as they get out the car. "Put it away."
Santana's eyes widen and she glances around. "Put what away?"
"You know what," says Brittany sternly. She slams the car door and folds her arms. "We're going to a carnival. Not a war zone."
Unwillingly, Santana pouts her lips. She's been here for less than ten seconds and they're only in the car park but she's already on edge. The childish screams floating over from the amusement park are piercing her brain. "But what if I need it?"
"What could you possibly need a Glock for?" asks Brittany with genuine curiosity.
"Firstly, it's a Smith and Wesson 500. Much cooler than a Glock." Brittany rolls her eyes. "Secondly, you don't know what might happen! Did the Finncredible Hulk not tell you about that killer clown hunt he and Puck did last year?"
Brittany sighs and walks around the car towards her and stops when they're only inches away from each other. Santana swallows a little uncomfortably. "You really need to relax, Santana."
"I am relaxed," she huffs back in protest. Brittany smiles crookedly at her and runs two fingers down Santana's beloved leather jacket. Brittany had told her to wear something she wouldn't normally (to make tonight special) so she's fished out a purple dress from underneath her pile of clothes stashed in her car. She absolutely refused to take off her jacket though.
"You're freaking out," says Brittany sagely. "It's just a date. Pretend it's the same as every other day. Except unlike every other day you're gonna leave your loaded weapon in the car, okay?" Santana frowns. "I promise if we see any killer clowns you can come back and get it."
Santana sighs and Brittany obviously takes this as consent because she grips on side of Santana's jacket and holds it open so she can pull out Santana's trusty gun. "Fine," Santana mutters. "Take it."
She expects Brittany to move and put it in the trunk of the car; instead she raises an eyebrow and looks at her expectantly. "And the other one."
"I don't have a–"
"The other one, Santana!"
"Fine," Santana grumbles. She bends down and lifts up her dress slightly to reveal a small pistol strapped to her thigh. She pulls it loose and hands it reluctantly to Brittany, whose cheeks seem to have turned a little pink. "Happy?"
"Very," says Brittany brightly. Santana hands her the car keys and she practically skips around to the back of the car and deposits the guns safely in the trunk. She can't help but feel a little naked without them. Oh well, she probably won't need them anyway.
With a cheerful smile that makes Santana's stomach flip, Brittany bounds back over to her and holds out a hand which after only a moments hesitation, she takes in her own. It's already dark out now because they ended up spending longer in their motel room than planned so Santana hopes Brittany doesn't notice the blush rising on her cheeks. It was bad enough three weeks ago but now it's just damned embarrassing.
"Ready?" asks Brittany. Santana just nods because she doesn't trust herself to speak and Brittany immediately sets off towards the entrance.
She honestly can't believe she's here right now. With the prettiest girl alive. On a date. Santana doesn't date. She never stays in one place longer than a couple of weeks so dating has never been an option before, and even if it had she's not sure she'd have taken it. She's never really thought herself the type before. Mutually beneficial arrangements, as Puck liked to call it, were more her style of hook-up. Travelling around the country with her father who tended to terrify most people shitless didn't really help her standing with potential suitors either. One time they'd met up with one of her father's friends, Rod, for a hunt. At some point poor Rod must have ogled at her one too many times because ten minutes later her father had accidentally shot him in the leg. An honest mistake, her father had claimed. At the time it felt nice that her dad had protected her; she only later came to realise it was more about him defending his property rather than his daughter.
So, the need to pinch herself lingers in the back of her mind to make sure she's not dreaming. If it is a dream, she really hopes she never wakes up from it. It's just that sometimes she can't help but feel like Brittany is too good to be true. Isn't this what genies do? Trick you into thinking you have the perfect life while they slowly drain your life force? Hm, she'll have to look into this one. Just in case.
They reach the person manning the entrance (old guy, white hair, probably been working at this place since the dawn of time) and she hands over what she believes to be an extortionate amount of money.
"And this will get us on all the rides?" Brittany questions as the man hands them two rolls orange tickets.
"Sure thing, ma'am," he says with an almost toothless grin. "Now you girls go and have yourself a good time!"
"We will," Brittany calls back as Santana begins to drag her through the gate. She can only look at the dude's hideous yellow and white striped t-shit for so long before it starts to burn through her retinas. She quickly realises as they step into the fenced off area that a brightly coloured item of clothing is going to be the least of her worries.
The first thing that hits her is the strong scent of...sweet. Popcorn? Cotton candy? Whatever it is, it's so strong it's pretty much blocking out all her other senses. Beside her, Brittany squeals with excitement and bounces on the balls of her feet.
"Where should we go first?" asks Brittany with untamed enthusiasm.
"Um..." Santana trails off and moves her eyes from one brightly lit monstrosity to the next. It's kind of hard to think with that cacophony of accordion music blaring throughout the entire area. "What do you want to do?" She waits for Brittany to answer but she seems to have been distracted by a young boy and girl fighting over a bright green frog toy with a harassed looking woman trailing behind them. "Britt?"
"I wanna go on that!" Brittany points, naturally, to the biggest rollercoaster at the carnival. Santana gulps. She can only see the top of it peering over the different stalls and attractions but it looks pretty high.
"Okay," she replies weakly. Brittany beams at her and they set off in the direction of, what Santana discovers along the way, is called 'The Big One'. As they get closer, Santana can't help but noticed that the colour of the tracks, which once appears to have been yellow, seems to have mostly flaked away to be replaced with dingy rust. "Are you sure this thing's safe?" she asks cautiously.
Brittany shoots her a surprised look. "Duh. Of course it's safe." Santana makes a small noise of acknowledgement but otherwise doesn't reply. "You're not scared are you?"
A nervous laugh escapes Santana's lips. "Of course not." Her heart beats this quickly all the time.
"You look pretty pale," Brittany observes.
"It's just the lighting in this place," Santana replies. Brittany's lip quirks upwards into a smirk.
"You're totally scared!" Brittany laughs loudly and Santana feels her face heat up. "Seriously? After everything you've done in your life and a little rollercoaster frightens you?"
"I think you're missing the point," Santana argues. "After everything I've done in my life can you even imagine how embarrassing it would be for me to die because of a faulty fairground ride? I want to go out in a blaze of glory, Britt-Britt. Not falling out of a tiny car five-hundred feet in the air and splattering on the ground."
If anything, Brittany's smile grows wider. "Two-hundred feet," she corrects, and Santana rolls her eyes. "We don't have to go on if you don't want to." Suddenly, Brittany's smile morphs into a pout.
"I...I didn't say I wouldn't go on it," Santana rushes to appease her. "Of course I will." And the smile is back. She can do this. It's just a rollercoaster, right? The likelihood of her falling to her death is really small. Probably.
"Perfect!"
They arrive at their destination and Brittany pulls her into the relatively short queue. Santana can't quite shake the feeling that she's just been manipulated somehow but with that happy expression adorning Brittany's face she finds it difficult to mind all that much. She's looking particularly adorable today in her black shorts and suspenders covering a black and white t-shirt with a large, metallic heart shape on the front. Ugh...did she just think the word adorable? Gross. Or is that allowed now? Brittany is her...the g-word now after all. Kurt and Mercedes are going to be thrilled when she tells them. If she tells them. Mercedes probably already knows though...that bitch.
As they get closer to the front of the line, Santana kicks her foot uncomfortably against the muddy ground. How are all these screaming kids so excited to be going on this death trap?
"Come on." Brittany tugs insistently on her hand. Oh good. It's their turn.
Santana hands their tickets over to whoever it is posted at the controls (she doesn't really see them through the thick haze clouding over her mind) and allows Brittany to steer her to the front row of the car and then push her down into the seat. Brittany laughs giddily but it falls on deaf ears as Santana stares up the hill they're about to climb. Heights...are not her favourite thing in the world.
"It's going to be fine, Santana. You'll have fun!" Brittany tells her.
She's wrong.
Santana doesn't have fun.
She keeps her eyes firmly closed and her mouth clamped shut.
When the ride is over and Brittany can feel the warm rush of adrenaline coursing through her veins, she spares a glance at Santana and her smile drops. She's so tense she doesn't even seem to realise they've stopped moving. Oh...she really thought Santana would enjoy that once it started.
The restraints holding them in place are released and Brittany sees Santana's eyes shoot open in panic. Her skin looks paler than Brittany remembers it being.
"It's over," Brittany says. Santana turns to look at her uncomprehendingly. "The ride...we can get up now."
Santana's mouth forms an 'o' shape and she looks left at the two boys impatiently waiting at the side for them to move so they can take their place.
"Come on, honey," Brittany prompts. She jumps to her feet and holds out her hand to Santana, who still looks dazed and unfocussed. "Up!"
Santana reaches up and let's Brittany pull her forward and towards the exit. Brittany can't help but feel horribly guilty...but come on. How was she supposed to know Santana was gonna be a giant fraidy cat? She like...actively searches for things that want to kill her on a daily basis. Being in a really fast car (that goes upside down and super high) shouldn't even be a blip on Santana's fear factor radar. Personally, Brittany loved being able to see the whole fairground from really high. It made all the multi-coloured lights look even cooler. Like a mostly yellow rainbow that's not really shaped like a rainbow.
Brittany leads Santana over to an empty corner; the rollercoaster is right at the back so they're right near where it's all fenced off from the outside world. They stop and Brittany waves a hand in front of Santana's face.
"Are you still in there?" she asks curiously.
There's a short pause and then: "Of course," Santana squeaks in a voice Brittany has never heard her use before. She looks like she might cry. "That was...um...fun."
"Yeah?" Brittany asks, suppressing an amused grin. "You wanna go on it again?"
A look of sheer terror crosses Santana's face making Brittany feel guilty again. She opens her arms and pulls Santana into a tight embrace. As always, Santana hesitates just a little before wrapping her own arms around Brittany's waist like she's not entirely sure how to respond.
"I'm just kidding," Brittany says as softly as she can while still being overheard by the loud music being played throughout the area. Santana laughs a little hysterically at this and pulls back. "I'm sorry I made you go on."
"It's okay," Santana shrugs. The colour seems to have returned to her face which is a relief. "It wasn't so bad." A blatant lie but Brittany nods anyway and smiles lightly. "What do you want to do now?"
Brittany thinks for a minute; after she's just forced Santana to do something she obviously didn't want to she needs to think of something to make it up to her. Something that she'll definitely enjoy...
"Let's go look at the game stalls," says Brittany cheerfully. Santana just nods and allows Brittany to grip her hand and pull her away back towards the entrance.
The atmosphere in this place is so awesome. Everyone is so uninhibited and cheerful in a way that's totally infectious. Well...except for that little boy she can see vomiting into trashcan next to the Hook-a-Duck stall. He's probably not all that happy anymore. Gross. He seems to be gripping a hotdog wrapper in his hand so she'll make sure to keep away from those. Not that she wants one anyway; she's still full from her delicious dinner of spaghetti and meatballs. It had been a nice change from the cheap diners they usually eat at.
It takes a couple of minutes for Brittany to find what she's looking for and it takes all of her will power not to run to everything she sees (she's definitely going on those Teacups later and she wants at least two sticks of cotton candy) but when she does she feels her eyes light up and she shoots Santana a pleased look.
"Found something you wanna do?" asks Santana lightly. She seems more relaxed now that they're further away from the epic rollercoaster of epic.
"Yep," she replies happily. She squeezes Santana's hand and pulls her over to a brightly lit red and blue stall with a background of moving targets shaped like ducks and birds. The lanky brown-haired man behind the wooden table eyes them impassively. He has a name tag that says 'Blade' on it. It must be a carnival name or something because Brittany doesn't think anyone would actually name their baby 'Blade'. Unless he was a vampire hunter.
"Step right up, ladies!" he deadpans when neither of them speak.
"A rifle range?" Santana asks with evident surprise. Brittany smiles and swings their hands between them.
"I want a unicorn," Brittany informs her, scanning the cuddly toy selection hanging from the netting along the side walls.
Santana chuckles, obviously now fully recovered from her earlier scare. "Sure." She then turns to guy running the booth. "How many do I have to hit?"
"Five out of eight, ma'am," replies the guy with an easy southern drawl. A small smirk crosses Santana's face as she hands over the money and Brittany knows this was a good idea. Giving Santana the opportunity to show off is a genius plan even if she does say so herself.
Santana is given the rifle and holds it with a moment of confusion. Brittany guesses it's not as heavy as she's used to or something. Did Santana really think they were going to give her a real 'gonna be able to kill people with this' gun in the middle of an amusement park? She doesn't complain though, much to Brittany's surprise, and aims easily and shoot, one, shoot, two, shoot, three, shoot, four ducks are down.
"These are corks," Santana mutters under her breath and Brittany laughs at the disappointment in her voice. Santana's unholy attachment to her weapons has been a source of endless amusement (and mild horror) for Brittany. Last week she'd realised that Santana was actually keeping a handgun under her pillow when they slept; she appreciates how dangerous their life is now but that is a special kind of paranoia. They'd ended up compromising with the gun being stored in the drawer next to their bed so it's easily in reach but Brittany is less likely to accidentally get shot in the head. Santana was not happy about it though.
Looking a little surprised, the man behind the counter hands her more 'bullets' and Santana reloads her 'gun'. "Just one more and the prize is yours," he tells her.
Santana offers Brittany a smug grin and a wink that makes Brittany's heart beat just a little bit faster.
Then shoot, five, shoot, six, shoot, seven, shoot, eight.
"And we have a winner!" the man announces loudly. Brittany bounces up and down in glee before throwing herself into Santana's arms.
"Yay!" Brittany yells and Santana laughs. Like, actually laughs instead of that vaguely reserved chuckle she usually does. It gives Brittany a thrill of joy and right there and then she decides to make it her life's mission to do whatever she can to make Santana laugh like that again.
They separate and Brittany points at one of the white unicorns (it has a sparkly gold horn which is pretty much the coolest thing ever) and the man smiles lightly and pulls it down from the wall. "Congratulations, ma'am," he says as he hands the prize to Brittany.
"This is so awesome," she gushes. Then she leans forward to capture Santana's lips in a brief kiss. "Thank you."
"You're welcome," replies Santana rather bashfully. In moments like these Brittany feels like she catching a glimpse of what Santana could have been if she hadn't been thrown into a life of death and danger. Still kind of a badass but just a bit softer around the edges. Maybe even a little bit of a goof.
"What should we call him?" Brittany asks, threading their fingers together and pulling Santana away from the stall to meander along with the noisy crowd.
"Call him?" Santana repeats, her eyebrows scrunching together in thought.
"Yeah. He needs a name, Santana," Brittany says, clutching the unicorn to her chest with her free hand. "How else will he know when we're talking to him?" Santana looks a little dubious at this but nods her head anyway. "We could name him after Kurt because he's a unicorn too."
"Veto," says Santana firmly.
"I don't really like Veto."
"No...I mean...I don't think we should call him Kurt," Santana clarifies. Brittany chuckles; it was worth a try. "How about Wesson?"
"We're not naming my unicorn after a gun manufacturer," says Brittany. She gives Santana a light shove which earns her a small grin. "You seriously have a problem."
"I do not!" Santana protests weakly. Brittany raises an eyebrow and shakes her head.
They continue their way through the brightly lit carnival until Brittany spots bright pink stall with the words 'Cotton Candy' scrawled across the top. She grins and tugs Santana in it's general direction. It's been like twenty-four hours since she had her last massive sugar hit so it's time to stock up. They'd gone to a nice restaurant for dinner and had ended up being two hours late because Santana decided they should make more use of their motel room first. Brittany didn't want to miss the carnival so they hadn't had time for dessert much to her devastation.
"What can I get you, ladies?" asks the kindly old woman behind the counter. Brittany's eyes flicker down to her name tag. Hermione. Hm.
"Cotton candy, please," says Brittany happily. Out of the corner of her eye she sees Santana look at her fondly.
"One or two?" asks the woman.
"One," Santana says and Brittany pouts at her. "What? I'll just try some of yours."
"But it's so pink and fluffy," Brittany whines.
"That's what scares me," says Santana. Brittany rolls her eyes. Santana is super weird sometimes. She forgives her though when Santana pulls some money from her pocket to pay for the tasty treat Brittany has just chosen. The woman thanks them and Brittany spins around so they can continue their exploration.
"I've picked a name," Brittany announces after she's taken a chunk from her fluffy ball of sugar.
"Oh?"
"Hermione," Brittany tells her. Santana looks at her, confused.
"I thought you said it was a boy."
"He is a boy," replies Brittany. "He's transgender."
"Transgender," Santana repeats faintly.
"Uh huh," Brittany agrees, pulling Hermione close to her chest once more. "She identifies as a boy but still really likes her given name."
"Um...right..."
"Santana," Brittany scolds. "You should be more supportive. When you use that tone it hurts his feelings. He's our unicorn."
Santana's eyes widen like she's really not sure if Brittany is being serious or not right now. Brittany just smiles innocently and presses her tongue against her cotton candy, enjoying the way it melts in her mouth. Santana visibly gulps and Brittany makes a mental note to text Mercedes about this later. She still hasn't told her that Santana agreed to be her girlfriend yet and she promised to keep in touch. Or maybe Mercedes already knows? She is psychic after all. She'll text her anyway just in case she hasn't heard yet.
Before Santana can think of a reply (Brittany assumes that she's going to apologise to Hermione but now she'll probably never know) a loud ringing sound distracts them both. Brittany gazes at Santana in confusion; she's never heard that phone she carries around in her jacket pocket ring before. Looking equally confused, Santana pulls out the phone and looks at the screen. When she sees the name her eyebrows shoot up.
"Who is it?" Brittany questions. Santana told her a while ago that she only gives out her number to other hunters or people she's helped who might need to contact her again. She said that the second group of people never call her but it helps them to feel safer knowing they can contact her whenever they want just in case they get attacked by ghosts again or some other creepy creature. Brittany thinks that maybe the phone belonged to Santana's dad but she's never said so out loud.
"Nobody I want to speak to," Santana replies coldly. She presses the little button with the red phone on it and the ringing stops.
"Isn't it half past ten? Why would someone call you now? Is someone in trouble?" Brittany asks rapidly. All the joviality from earlier seems to have leaked from Santana's body and it gives Brittany a sickly feel in the pit of her stomach.
"It's Quinn," says Santana in that same toneless voice. "Not really interested in why she's calling."
She pockets her phone and Brittany eyes her warily. She doesn't like Quinn either but she can't help but feel like she wouldn't call unless there was a really good reason. Unless she's just calling to apologise for yesterday; somehow she doesn't think that's likely though. Brittany is optimistic though so maybe she really is just sorry.
"What do you wanna do now?" Santana asks. She sounds kind of annoyed.
"We could–"
Brittany is cut off when Santana's phone starts to ring again. "Fuck off, Fabray," Santana mutters darkly and Brittany pulls her unicorn closer to her chest.
"Maybe you should answer it," Brittany says tentatively. Why would Quinn call twice unless it's important?
Santana lets a long puff of air from her lips and shakes her head with annoyance. The mood between them has already dropped so the rest of their night is going to be less fun anyway regardless of whether or not she answers the phone. Once again, Santana withdraws the phone from her pocket. Obviously she's not the only one who feels like Quinn wouldn't call unless she had a very good reason.
Santana shakes her head in annoyance and brings the phone to her ear.
"What do you want, Fabray?" she barks into the receiver. Brittany flinches at her harsh tone even though it isn't directed at her. There's a pause and Brittany studies Santana's face for some kind of clue about what's being said to her. She almost doesn't notice the way she pales and clutches the phone just a little tighter between her fingers. "If this is a joke it's really not funny." A beat. "No. That can't be right," Santana says. "It's fucking impossible." Brittany really wishes she could hear both sides of the conversation. "Then tell her to stop screeching like a banshee!" There's a longer pause this time during which Santana begins to shake her head in disbelief. "I'll be there in an hour."
Santana disconnects the call and looks at Brittany with large, bewildered eyes.
"What's wrong?" asks Brittany, a horrible feeling of foreboding rising in her stomach.
It takes Santana a moment to collect her thoughts, and when she finally does it doesn't even sound like she believes what she's saying. "We need to head back to the Roadhouse. Now."
Author's Note(s): This chapter is a bit shorter than previous chapters have been I'm afraid. This was the most natural break in the story though and I wanted something nice to happen before less nice things happen! I hope you enjoyed it nonetheless. Thank you for reading :-)