The trek through Lanayru was proving to be a more taxing journey than Link had anticipated. He panted, wiping the sweat from his brow with the back of his hand. Maybe he shoulda brought some water… or something… since y'know, it's a motherfucking desert. Finally he made it to the caves, the dragon had to be somewhere through here; this was the only section of Lanayru that hadn't been explored yet. As he proceeded through the caves, a strange chill ran up and down his spine. He froze, oh no… not…

He turned slowly… okay, nevermind. It was only David Bowie. He sighed in relief. For a second he thought that…

Wait a minute…

Oh fuck.

"You seem lost, sky child." Ghirahim purred, slithering out from the shadows like a snake that slithers. Link immediately drew his sword, sheathed it, and drew it again.

"You… what are you doing here?" He growled threateningly. Ghirahim only offered a cruel smirk in return, not bothering to answer since his intentions should have been made clear by now. He strode over to Link, who backed away step for step. Apparently it had slipped his mind that he could just use the Master Sword to skewer the demon's ass faster than he could say 'rainbows.'

Soon his back was against the wall and Fi appeared from the sacred blade, "Master, there is a 300% percent chance something incredibly homoerotic is about to happen and a 2000% chance I will watch it. And enjoy it." She briefly flashed a me gusta face before exploding along with the sword. Now weaponless and incredibly, totally and completely helpless, Link pressed himself flat against the wall, as far away from Ghirahim as he could.

"What…" Link started, before the demon lord reached out and twirled a lock of his hair around his gloved finger, "G-get away from me!" he stammered, turning his head away.

"You know… it just saddened me immensely when you left…" Ghirahim mused lowly, completely ignoring Link as the hero latched onto his arm and started gnawing on it, "We didn't even get to finish our time together, so I guess we'll just have to make up for it now." He suddenly grabbed both of Link's wrists and pinned them to the wall above his head with one hand.

"I'm not telling you where Zelda is so just leave me alone!" The captive hero shouted and Ghirahim shrugged.

"That wasn't what I was talking about but whatever floats your boat."

He seized the hero's jaw with his free hand as he tried to look away, "And do you really think I want her?" he grinned. Link was greatly disturbed by the sensual lilt put into the demon's tone.

"What…? I don't…" he was blushing furiously for some reason. Ghirahim scoffed and flicked his hair out of his face.

"Oh please, sky child, are you really so dense…? Foolish boy…" he crooned, leaning in so close that him and Link's lips were only millimetres apart, "Couldn't you see all of my torturous advances were just my way of saying…" he suddenly grinned.

"We're no strangers to love."

"What." Link deadpanned.

"You know the rules, and so do I." Dear lord, where was that music coming from? And why did Ghirahim suddenly have a microphone? What the hell was a microphone?

"You-you're not making any sense!" Link shouted in exasperation.

"A full commitment's what I'm thinking of…" Ghirahim sang, eyeing Link seductively as he moved to the beat of the song. He stepped back as a spotlight fell on him.

"Wait, what?" Link asked dumbly, then it sank in, "OH MY GOD NO I'D RATHER EAT GLASS!"

Ghirahim ignored him and thrust his hips as the song picked up more. Kikwis started appearing, joining in. They were so cute it almost made the visual of Ghirahim dancing tolerable for Link.

"You wouldn't get this from any other guy." The demon lord spun as Fi floated by lazily, the sword spirit was drooling, "I just wanna tell you what I'm feeling… gotta make you understand." He winked at Link, who then proceeded to gouge his own eyes out with a spork.

"Never gonna give you up! Never gonna let you down! Never gonna run around and desert you!" Ghirahim danced like never before as the chorus hit. Everything within a five mile radius turned upside down and imploded. The Imprisoned was awakened, ate some people, then went back to sleep. Zelda busted out of her crystal with a Spartan kick, "YO, I HERE A PARTY'S UP IN HURR."

She teleported to the caves and bitchslapped Link. "I didn't know you were cheating on me with… that!" She gestured angrily at Ghirahim who was still singing and dancing unperturbed. She ran away crying and Link merely blinked. Fi started licking her master's face.

"Never gonna make you cry…" the demon lord continued.

"Ahem." Link angrily gestured towards chapter 7, he was ignored.

"Never gonna say goodbye…"

"I wish you would say goodbye!" He shouted, he could feel his mind shattering as the he bared witness to Ghirahim's big gay dance even though he had no eyes.

"Never gonna tell a lie and hurt you…" the demon lord FINALLY finished. Everything went back to normal in an instant – the Kikwis disappeared, the lighting faded to its usual colour and Link's eyes reformed. It was as if it never happened. Ghirahim stepped forwards and put a hand on Link's shoulder.

"Nah, I'm just kidding, Link, I'll be back in a few days when the author decides to stop being a lazy fanfiction serving dog and actually finishes the chapter." He rolled his eyes.

"I heard that you asshole!" A voice boomed from the sky. A comet was then launched down from the heavens and blew Ghirahim up into little bite sized pieces. Link was showered with a spray of rainbow glitter and body parts, by this point he didn't really care.

"Fuck this, I'm out." He said, saluting as he walked away, "Later bitches!"

Fi twirled by, smiling drunkenly, "And happy April Fools day!"

I'm sorry, I'm so sorry. That was horrible even for intentionally being horrible xD *Goes to impenetrable fortress and hides there* Haha! They'll never find me!

Seriously though, real chapter will be up soon!