A/N: I'm sorry this took so long. Most people saying PlEASE UPDATE were logged in as guest and were just inconsolable. Literally. I had no way of telling you guys this fic was still on. I solemnly swear I will not abandon it. I have big plans for our boys. The reviews asking for an update really did help though. Nothing gets me writing faster then begging.

Mike had been curled up on the guest bed for twenty minutes before he heard Harvey's footsteps retreating down the hall. He laid there for what seemed like an eternity. There were very far off sounds of Harvey, just movement- nothing distinct. The sound of running water in the walls told him a sink was on.

Harvey was giving him space.

Mike hated it.

Mike needed Harvey to apologize. Mike needed Harvey to come back and tell Mike that Harvey needed him.

But that wasn't going to happen. An hour and some change passed without Mike thinking in a particularly linear fashion. He started on mulling over the details of him and Harvey's most recent cases but those were quickly chased away. An overwhelming anxiety gripped him and he tried conjuring up the words to any and every book imaginable. When that didn't work he tried for movies. When that didn't work he gave in a little and thought on what was wrong with the room itself. I had Mike's hackles up just being in it. It was a nice space, if a little bare. It was going to be his room.

He hated it.

This wasn't just where he would be sleeping when he was cooling off. This space wasn't just the fight they had just had.

This would be their life for at least a few years.

At midnight he gave up trying to find some kind of inner peace. He opened the door to the guest room violently. He couldn't stay in this room anymore. He needed to find some air.

He trudged down the street heading east- the plan was to pick the closest bar and drown his heart ache in some form of liquor. Tequila would be nice.

The first bar he came across was some pub a few blocks over from Harvey's condo and he ducked in. The place was packed, which was understandable for midnight on a Saturday. Mike took the only empty seat at the bar and flagged down a bartender. "Long Island." The woman behind the bar nodded. The crowd was young- younger than him. He figured he could do his best to remain largely unnoticed despite that. He did have soft features after all.

"Never seen you here before."

Didn't work.

Mike turned to look at the girl. She was blonde, with a nice body, if a bit plain in the face. Her hair cascaded down her shoulders- it even billowed a bit.

Of course no dice. Unlike every other time he had been hit on at a bar, this time there was a band on his finger that itched at the thought. He was getting married.

"First time. Moving in down the street. Needed a drink- ducked in to see how it was." If he sounded disinterested it was because he was.

"Just married?" Her eyes were trained on his hand now.

Mike looked where she was looking. "Soon I will be… Maybe."

The girl's whole attitude changed from disappointment to concern. "Tell me."

Mike laughed. "I don't even know you."

She pouted. "Well, you'll just have to get to know me then." The bartender passed then and the blonde pointed to Mike. "Add anything he orders to my tab, please?" Mike gaped at the girl next to him but she just settled patiently. "Tell me."

"It's a long story."

"We've got time."

Mike debated it. He ran a hand through his hair. "Where do I start?'

"At the very beginning. I hear it's a very good place to start."

Mike laughed. "I mean, isn't it a bit cliché? Spinning my tale of woe to a stranger at a bar?"

The girl shrugged. "If we're going for the ultimate cliché I'm sure we could flag down a bartender."

"No, I'm good…" Mike looked the girl over and shrugged. Why the hell not? Who better to tell all your troubles to then a complete stranger? "So I work at this office, and my boss is… a total hard ass. There are a lot of late nights and weekend hours on my timesheet. Out of all that though… I guess I also had a bit of a thing for him." Mike took a gulp from his drink.

The girl smiled. "A bit or a lot?"

"Okay maybe a lot of a thing for him but I never let myself think about it. We would go out to eat on not dates. I would be at his house and he'd quote a movie I hadn't seen, then he would insist we had to watch it right then."

She nodded, her face serious. "As he should."

Mike shrugged, taking another sip. "I never even thought to try anything. We kept a reasonable amount of distance between us, no bad touching. It was like we were really good buddies."

The girl nodded as he downed the last of the drink and ordered another. "But?"

Mike sighed. "Well, I was falling for him and I wasn't even paying attention."

She laughed, short and surprised. "How do you not notice something like that?"

"Denial? Pretty paralegals to keep your mind off things? Point is, last week he nearly got himself deported. His first instinct is to say we're getting married."

She frowned. "Big step to go from not dating to married."

The bar tender brought Mike another drink. He took a sip and shrugged. "Yeah, well, I didn't want him leaving the country and if he left there is no way they'd keep me on. As much as some of my coworkers like me, most hate my boss enough to fire me just because I'm associated with him."

"Ah, that makes sense."

"Yeah, so we make up this crazy life we've been living behind everyone's backs. You want to know the weirdest part about it? No one thinks it's weird. The only one who does is a friend of mine who hears all my complaints about my boss. He's my best friend and I just… I hate lying to him- to everyone. But if I lost Harvey I'd-" The sentence died on his lips. Mike didn't know what he'd do, so he took a few big gulps of his drink. No words seemed big enough and it was terrifying.

It was so easy, spilling out his woes to her. He just wanted to tell her everything. Once it was laid out in a neat, delicate way, it was easier to understand. The clock was on the wall in front of him and he checked it periodically as he spun his tale. The girl was a very good listener.

The girl nodded as he began to wrap up his story. "It sounds like you really love him."

"I don't want to let him down. I want him to be able to depend on me. But he just makes it harder, you know? Then there's the thing with my friend."

"In Harvey's defense your 'friend' was a total jerk to you."

Mike nodded. "I know but Harvey didn't have to be that way. I mean, he just brought it all back around to be about him- said that Trevor could put us both in jail for fraud. It's always about him. I just… I was tired of it." He blinked rapidly, the bar suddenly out of focus. "I mean, so what if he's hot and can keep up with my quoting things… and his hair is, like, perfect."

The girl- he really should have asked her name by then- frowned. "Doesn't sound that way to me. Might just be my outsider perspective but he sounded like he was worried about both of you- not just himself."

Mike groaned. "So you think I was too hard on him."

"Maybe just a little. Give him time. If he's as emotionally constipated as he sounds, he may need some time to adjust." Mike didn't believe that Harvey would ever adjust. The girl looked at her watch. "Shit, it's nearly two. I should go. You okay to get home?"

Mike nodded. When she went to get up, he grabbed her elbow. "I'm Mike, by the way."

"Jilly."

Mike grinned. "I like that name."

"Thanks. See you around. Good luck with Harvey." She waved and left, meeting up with some guys by the door. One looked a little angry but she seemed to sooth him with a few words. Mike watched her until she was gone. After a moment or two, he pushed himself to his feet... and fell back onto his stool.

Well, shit.

Mike hit seven on his speed dial without thinking. "Mike?"

"Hey Trev. You bar tend in upper Manhattan right?"

"Where are you?"

"I didn't read the sign. Something about a doctor?"

There was an irritated sigh on the other end. "Doctor-? Oh. Fine, be there soon."

When Trevor showed up, Mike had made the mistake of ordering another drink. The world was all fuzzy and spinning like when he had just road the old tilt-a-whirl at Coney Island.

"Trev!" Mike pulled his friend into a clumsy hug. Trevor patted his back.

"Come on buddy. Let's get you home. How you wandered so far from it is beyond me." Trevor hoisted him up and pulled roughly him out the door.

"No! Harvey's place is down the block. Take me there. I came here after the fight."

Trevor tensed next to Mike. "You fought?"

"Well yeah, he hates your guts, bro. Doesn't want me talking to you. But I do and he gets all ME ME ME. And I just go blah. And then go get drunk." Mike laughed. "Jilly thought I was too hard on him. But you know what? I'm sick of his shit. He won't trust me when I tell him you've changed. You're different now, Trev. You're changing and you're changing for the better. Look at you! You're already acting like the responsible one- dragging my drunk ass home."

Trevor grinned. "Well I owe you. I owe the both of you. There was no way I would have gotten out of that kidnapping if it weren't for you."

Mike grinned. "See? Changed. Suddenly, you're acknowledging you owe me big time. How is that not an improvement?" The world was going fuzzy around the edges and he let out a soft, humorless laugh. "He doesn't want to marry me."

Trevor snorted. "Of course he does-"

"No. He doesn't. But I want to marry him. I want to marry him so bad I can taste it. This is the most I've ever been in love, like, ever in the history of forever." He felt Trevor's grip tighten under his arm, but he kept going. "And you know what? He probably barely noticed I was gone. Probably doesn't even feel bad about what happened. He's so into himself. But God his hair and those eyes and his… ASS! Sweet mercy, he is such a tool though. Bastard doesn't even know it. "

Trevor growled. "Well, I'll just have to remind him."

After their fight, Harvey felt like a tool as Mike shut the door to the guest room.

It was a new feeling, the mixture of anger, guilt, and something else boiling up inside him. The emotions tasted bad in his mouth, like orange juice just after brushing his teeth. It was horrible. If he ever felt like this ever again he was going to have his emotions removed permanently.

He stared at his own guest room door, silently fuming.

He wasn't angry at Mike. No, he was far angrier at himself. Today was a major day for him in the emotion department. Never before had he looked at himself and thought maybe it was him. He had been a jerk before but… somehow it never made him feel like he was wrong for doing it.

If his mother could see him now, she would delight in this.

Harvey had tried harder than ever to be understanding. That's what people did in marriages. It had come easier than he had thought it would. What he was angriest about was that he had to hear about these things after the fact. He learned Mike still called Trevor from Louis of all people. Then he has to overhear that Mike was in love with the guy. It was the secretive nature of it all that made Harvey get defensive. He had TOLD Mike about Canada. Maybe not about the gritty details and maybe he had to be prompted a little, but Harvey had told Mike to his face. Harvey had given Mike that chance when he had found out from Louis.

Harvey didn't like how Trevor made Mike lie to him. Well Trevor didn't make the kid do anything but Mike seemed to lie about Trevor a lot more than other things. Mike was supposed to be honest with him. That was the deal.

He pried himself away from the door, because hadn't he caused enough grief for one night? Mike could use the space. He went back to his room and didn't sleep. He acted like he was going to, went through the motions like he would, but he didn't fall asleep. Instead, he stared at his ceiling, hoping it would allow him some sort of insight into the brilliant black hole that was Mike Ross' mind.

The ceiling stared back blankly. Clearly, it did not realize who it was dealing with here. Harvey turned onto his side to get a second opinion from the night stand.

He heard the guest room door open around midnight. Bolting upright, Harvey listened as footsteps drifted away and another door slammed shut…

The front door.

It had to be the front door.

But it couldn't be.

Harvey waited another couple of minutes before he got up to investigate. The door to the guest room was open.

Mike was gone.

The thought twisted in his gut like the slow turn of a knife.

Harvey fought back calling Mike. Obviously, the kid wanted space. It wasn't hard to figure that much out when considering the whole leaving thing. The apartment was way too quiet though. Without his family or Mike to fill the space, it felt too big.

Harvey decided to go over his case files again, since sleep wasn't happening, but he couldn't focus. The words were in front of him but none of them stuck. They might as well have been in Romanian. All he could think about was the look of disappointment on Mike's face.

He threw round the idea of calling Mike again.

He decided against it.

If Harvey saw Trevor again, it would be a miracle for Harvey not to punch him. Still, Harvey's distaste for the ex-drug dealer was no reason for him to snap at Mike. Harvey had just been mad at the sound of that loser's voice on the other end of Mike's phone.

Harvey managed to stave off madness for a few hours by burying himself in his thoughts. His musings kept him from constantly checking his phone. He didn't go to hit Mike's number on speed dial. He just quietly wasted time around his apartment. He put on a Peggy Lee record. Before he knew it, it was three o'clock in the morning and he wasn't even tired, every nerve was awake and aware of Mike's absence.

He was starting to worry.

A knock at the door had him rushing to answer, not checking through the peep hole. "Mike-"

"I'd keep your voice down." Trevor stood outside the door, face hard and sour. Mike's arm was slung over the taller man's shoulders as Trevor helped keep his friend upright. Mike's head hung forward as if asleep.

"Mike!" Harvey rushed forward and got on Mike's other side without thinking. He helped Trevor hobble Mike into the living room and onto the couch. Harvey slapped Mike's cheek lightly as he knelt next to him. "Mike. Hey, come on. Mike?"

Mike's eyes opened a little and he smiled. Harvey let out a sigh of relief. "Harvey… I got drunk."

"Idiot," he whispered. He kissed Mike's forehead and Mike laughed weakly.

"Every time… Every time you're… a dick, you do something so sweet and I just… forget. You're a jerk."

Harvey nodded. "Yup, I'm a jerk."

"You can't just… just do stuff like that."

"Like what?"

"Agree with me. I want to be mad at you."

"Sleep. You'll feel better."

"Okay." Mike let his eyes drift shut. From behind him, Harvey heard Trevor clear his throat.

Harvey snapped around because, oh right, Trevor. Harvey glared at him. "He called you?"

"Yup. Must burn to know that he called me twice in a week. Obviously he is still completely smitten. You should give up." Trevor didn't look amused. He was matching Harvey's glare with one of his own. It made Harvey want to punch him. "You know what he wouldn't shut up about?"

"I-"

"He kept saying that you don't want to marry him." Trevor's eyes accused Harvey of so much more though.

"Dumb kid." He whispered. Harvey looked at Mike and he sighed, lightly running a hand over Mike's forehead. "Help me get him to bed, would you?"

Trevor sighed too but slung Mike's arm back around his neck. "Fine."

Together the two men got Mike into Harvey's room and tucked him in. Harvey and Trevor went back out into the hallway and Harvey shut the door behind them gently. "Now get the hell out of my house."

Trevor ignored the demand. "Look at me and tell me you love him."

Harvey's eyes snapped up, angry again. "I don't have to tell you anything."

"I know you don't like me. I know you're jealous that Mike-"

Harvey held up a hand. "Whoa, whoa, I am- I am not jealous."

Trevor shook his head. "Well, I know you are, so you can let go of the act, buddy. Mike told me how you don't like me calling him, and how you bristle at the mention of my name. I get it."

"No, that is not why I'm like that with you. You don't deserve his friendship- his anything."

Trevor nodded but Harvey wasn't paying attention. The sheer loathing in his voice just then had been a bit terrifying.

Okay, Harvey could be an adult.

He was jealous.

He was jealous that Mike let Trevor get away with murder. Trevor was allowed to simply try and if he failed, well, he did his best- give the man a gold star. So what if he nearly got Mike arrested? So what if his harebrained math test scheme nearly got Mike thrown out of college? So what if he needed to be bailed out of jail? So what if he nearly got Mike kidnapped? So what if he got himself kidnapped and held for ransom? So what if Mike had been in love with him for years and Trevor never noticed? That's what Trevor does.

Mike deserved better than Trevor.

But if Harvey was being completely honest, Mike deserved better than Harvey, too.

Harvey was trying to do as right by Mike as he could, and all he got was a door shut in his face. Mike hadn't even put forth the effort to slam it. So yea, Harvey was a little jealous.

"I love him."

Trevor shrugged. "Okay then. Just wanted to be sure."

Harvey frowned. "What?"

"You might want to work on convincing Mike though. If it were me, I'd be worried that he could doubt it."

Harvey shook his head. "I don't-"

"If you can't convince him you want this then you should head back to Canada because Mike deserves more than some half-assed-"

"Don't lecture me on what Mike deserves. You treat him like shit. You've always treated him like shit."

Trevor sighed. "Yeah, but he expects it from me. He doesn't go out and get shitfaced when I screw up because he has absolutely no expectations of me." Trevor stepped forward. "But he worships the ground you walk on and you hurt him."

Harvey ran his hand over his face. He was suddenly tired. "Just leave," he whispered.

"Whatever. Just take care of him." Trevor headed back down the hall, and disappeared from sight.

Harvey listened as the front door slammed shut. It was like all the anger had drained him of his energy and left him hollow. He went to the front door and clicked the lock into place before dragging himself back to his room. The light from the hall spilled in when he opened the door, causing Mike to stir a little. Harvey walked over and knelt beside the bed.

"Harvey…" Mike breathed out.

"Yeah, Mike?"

"There's this really… great pub down the street from here. I plan… to make it a regular spot."

Harvey smiled and brushed a hand throw Mike's hair. "Whatever you want, kid."

Mike nodded. "You know it." The associate snuggled deeper into the sheets and Harvey's chest tightened. "Now come to bed. This one is way comfier than the guest one."

Harvey openly stared but the kid's eyes were close without a care in the world. Seriously? Did he just-?

Harvey let out a huff and got in on his own side, trying to keep his distance. It wasn't like Harvey was scared, he just wasn't sure Mike would want to wake up with Harvey curled around him again like a-

Harvey stopped mid thought as Mike rolled over and scooted closer. It took every ounce of willpower to not fidget.

"Stupid kid. Do not barf on me or my bed."

"You're warm," Mike whispered sleepily.

"Excuses."

"Yeah… Excuses."

Mike nuzzled Harvey's shoulder and let out a contented sigh.

Harvey didn't sleep for a long time after that.