Ronnie carefully lifted the bacon from the pan, placing it on the plate next to the rest of the food. She started to arrange the food into the shape of a smiley face, using a fork to slide the bacon, eggs and sausages around. It was only a silly gesture but Ronnie remembered when she had done it before for Danielle, her daughter's face had lit up at the sight before she started laughing at how sweet and silly Ronnie had been. Ronnie looked down at the now re-arranged plate, hoping it would once again bring a smile to Danielle's face. Even though Danielle was a fully grown adult Ronnie was determined to mother her and look after her, even if it meant treating her like a child at times.
She carefully lifted up the tray and balanced it on her arms before turning on her heels and heading towards Danielle's bedroom. "Sweetie" Ronnie whispered softly as she taped her free hand against the door, careful to keep the tray balanced. Ronnie listened intently for any noise or movement behind the door but it was silent, an eerie silence. Danielle had always been an early riser so Ronnie wasn't used to her daughter sleeping in till 11am.
Ronnie cautiously pushed open the door, poking her head through the gap. Ronnie almost felt relieved to see Danielle lying peacefully in her bed, her fingers clenched to the top of her duvet as it wrapped tightly around her body. Ronnie carefully placed the tray on the floor and walked over to Danielle's bed, sitting on the mattress next to her sleeping daughter. She couldn't help but run her fingers gently down Danielle's cheek, even after two years together, one glimpse of Danielle melted Ronnie's heart, she almost had to catch her breath as she admired the young women that lay before her.
Ronnie once again found herself lost in the presence of her daughter, her hand resting on Danielle's warm and sweaty cheek. Ronnie snapped out of her thoughts when she noticed Danielle fidgeting amongst the sheets, her brown eyes now beaming up at her. "Morning" Ronnie said sweetly. "Morning" Danielle replied, still waking up and slightly confused as to why Ronnie had been staring at her blankly with her hand locked on her cheek.
"I bought you some breakfast" Ronnie said quickly when she noticed the bemused look in Danielle's eyes. She picked up the tray and passed it to Danielle, who had now dragged her body up until she was sat upright against the headboard. Ronnie took her seat back next to Danielle on the side of the mattress. She had expected Danielle to ravage the plate and food after not eating dinner the night before. But instead Danielle eyes were fixed on the plate, Ronnie noticed how she seemed almost scared of the food, her back pushing against the headboard as she tried to retreat.
"Eat up then" Ronnie nagged, she was completely lost by Danielle's reaction so her mind and mouth decided to steam roll past the awkward and worrying situation. "I am not hungry" Danielle muttered coldly. She was trapped, each object felt like chains constraining her; the sheets, the bed, her room, the flat. There was no escape from the food or Ronnie, Danielle found herself unable to look at either out of fear and panic.
"But I made it especially, your favourite, eggs, bacon and sausages" Ronnie said, her voice echoing the hurt of Danielle's rejection. She sounded like a small child, desperate for the person they loved to praise and acknowledge them. Danielle forced a smile before the mask fell. "I am sorry" Danielle replied as she pushed the tray away, this time her answer was less cold as the guilt seeped in. Once again Ronnie was making all the effort to reach out to Danielle, but all she could do was push her away. Danielle had felt more relaxed around Ronnie at times over the last few weeks but now, faced with food, Danielle's guard shot up and no one, not even her mother, was going to break through.
As the room filled with an awkward silence Ronnie made the first move, stepping back away from Danielle and leaving the room. She didn't slam the door in anger or frustration, emotions that were bubbling inside of Ronnie but instead she slowly closed the door shut and paused on the other side.
With her hand still clasped around the door knob Ronnie could feel the upset and hurt spilling out, pushing aside any anger or frustration that lingered inside of her. Her daughter may have only rejected breakfast but yet Ronnie felt crushed, it was another small yet significant step back in their already fragile relationship.
She had tried to stop it, she had tried to hold back and stay strong but the emotion was too much for Ronnie as the tears now streamed down her cheeks. She let go of the door knob and dropped her head in her hands. Ronnie realised how delicate their relationship was when even the smallest thing could lead to a breakdown.
Danielle had the tray resting on her knees, the sight of a cold breakfast still sat before her. Danielle pulled her legs back, holding them close to her chest as she wrapped her arms around her legs. She could hear Ronnie sobbing on the other side of the door, the sound of her mother's tears and hurt caused a single tear to roll down Danielle's cheek.
Ronnie aimlessly walked around the square; she had left the flat with no direction or intent, simply needing time away and fresh air. She found herself sitting alone on Arthur's bench, the cold wood offering some support as her legs started to ache. "What's wrong with you? You got a face like a slapped horse" the voice barked. Ronnie looked up to see a frustrated and flustered looking Bianca standing before her, her hands on her hips. Before Ronnie could reply Bianca had sat next to her.
Ronnie looked at Bianca, confused as to what she was doing. Did she want to start a conversation? The pair had never got on before; Ronnie remembered several arguments between the pair when they clashed over a dirty look or snide comment. "So what you doing out here, all on your own" Bianca asked. Ronnie couldn't make if she was trying to make small talk or if she was digging for gossip, but she didn't like the almost gleeful emphasis that Bianca had put on the words 'all on your own'.
"Just needed some fresh air" Ronnie replied, careful not to let too much slip even though her emotions and feelings were close to the surface. "From that girl of yours?" Bianca asked instantly. Ronnie wanted to shout at Bianca for how rude she had sounded, it was Danielle, not that girl and why did she assume her relationship with Danielle was the problem? But she thought better of it and instead gave a small nod.
"Not easy with kids is it?" Bianca replied honestly, one mother to another. Ronnie looked distantly at Bianca, her mind has drifted off as Bianca's voice seemed of little importance to her. "Whitney" Bianca said, slightly annoyed that Ronnie wasn't fully paying attention. "She is a handful at times that girl but I love her. She may not be mine, biologically I mean, but that girl means the world to me, even through the terrible times" Bianca admitted.
She was unsure why she was opening up to Ronnie Mitchell, the ice queen who constantly looked down her nose at her, yet Bianca found the words kept flowing. Ronnie was offering an outlet for her emotions when she couldn't talk to someone she loved or felt close to out of fear of hurting them. Neither Bianca nor Ronnie really cared what the other was saying and the minute they parted they would purposefully forget they ever bonded, yet they both still talked.
"How do you do it?" Ronnie asked desperately. "I mean when they shout, scream, cry. How do you support them when you are so scared yourself, terrified you might lose them" Ronnie continued, searching for an answer. "That's the whole point. You are a mum, you are supposed to be there even when they shout, scream, cry, hit you and call you names. I don't know how, but you are just supposed to be there for them" Bianca replied, telling Ronnie whilst partly convincing herself.
Ronnie offered a weak smile to Bianca, some of her words had got through. She was right even if Ronnie didn't like to admit it; she needed to be there for Danielle and not sitting on a park bench exchanging pleasantries with Bianca Jackson.
"I didn't even ask why you were here?" Ronnie asked, trying to keep the exchange civil and friendly. "Tiffany threw Morgan's breakfast at Liam so I needed to come out and buy some more chicken nuggets" Bianca said as she stood up from the bench. "Chicken nuggets for breakfast?" Ronnie asked, slightly confused and shocked by Bianca's admission. Bianca gritted her teeth and nodded before walking away, but as she did Ronnie distinctly heard Bianca mutter "stuck up cow" under her breath. Ronnie managed to smile at Bianca's comment before deciding to take on board her advice and head home to her daughter.
Danielle had heard her mother leave, she was alone within these four walls; unable to work out if they felt like a prison or a shield. Danielle sat alone, lost in her thoughts for a few minutes before heading to the bathroom. She gently pushed open the door and closed it behind her. Taking one step at a time, Danielle reached the toilet and crouched down, knowing what she was going to do next.
Ronnie arrived back at the flat, careful to not make any noise in case Danielle had gone back to sleep as she turned the key in the lock and made her way up the stairs. Ronnie noticed that whilst Danielle's bedroom door was open, the bathroom door was shut. "Sweetie I'm back" Ronnie said quietly as she walked past the bathroom door but she paused for a second when she heard her daughter coughing and spluttering loudly, the sound very painful and uncomfortable. "Sweetie, you ok?" Ronnie asked; concerned by what she was hearing. Again Danielle didn't respond or answer. Ronnie hesitated before gently resting her palm against the bathroom door to push it open, her eyes catching sight of Danielle crouched over the toilet.