I'm so sad this is done buuut the sequel will be coming soon I've left the name of it at the end of this so make sure to read my little note and since I haven't managed to make this chapter as long as I had hoped I've left a few possible spoilers down there for you all aswell.. THANK YOU ALL for reading, there would be no stories without the reviewers so a special thanks to everyone that reviewed, for all the kind words and encouragement. This has 1000% been my favourite story to write and I look forward to showing you all what comes next, enjoy xxxx

Chapter 11

Ste's point of view

He had phoned so many times, I tried not to listen to his voicemails or look at his texts but we all know what happened to the curious cat don't we?

Brendan- 00:32

Are you okay?

Brendan- 00:47

Whats wrong?

Brendan- 01:22

Can you just let me know you got home okay?

Brendan- 03:57

Okay I shouldn't have touched you I get it just let me know your safe.

Brendan- 04:02

You know how I get around you, sometimes I can't stop myself from doing these things

Brendan- 05:33

I swear I'll send a car round, your acting like a kid now

Brendan- 05:47

Seriously Steven?

So yeah I'll admit it, maybe I am being childish but it's more that now I've came to terms with my feelings for him how am I meant to act or even look at him in the eye ever again. I haven't slept, just sat watching pointless TV and tried to stay away from my phone but I knew I had to face the music at somepoint,

Message Sent 05:55

Dont u ever sleep?

The reply was instant,

Brendan- 05:55

I do when I'm not worried about someone leaving my sisters without even telling me

Before I even get the chance to answer the text he's phoning,

"Ya alright?" I ask when I answer having no clue what else to say,

"Do ye know how worried I've been? Jesus the thoughts that went through my head." He sounds as if he's slurring a bit,

I huff a little just wanting off the phone, I know I sound like I don't care that he's been worried but I've just figured something out that's pretty life changing it isn't every day you find out your in love with the man who's paying you to be his fake boyfriend so the press will get off his back about having some sort of playboy lifestyle. Honestly I don't know how my life ended up like this.

"Are you still drinking, honestly get to sleep and sober up you've got work soon."

He's silent for a few minutes before he speaks, "That's all you've got to say?"

"Listen I'm sorry about worrying ya Bren, I felt sick and told Cheryl to tell ya. As soon as I got in I fell asleep on the couch." Okay so maybe I can lie sometimes.

"Well I'm glad your okay." He says after another bit of silence, "So I didn't freak you out with being all touchy feely?"

I laugh at his choice of words, he didn't freak me out it's more my response that's done that, "Bren I think I'm used to your touch by now."

"Mmmhmm, ye should be." He mumbles,

"Alright get to sleep, ya can give me a text later."

"Ye know I realised that night we shared my bed, it's easier for me to sleep when your here." He mumbles again, I'm not sure if it's drink or sleep that's making him so honest.

"Is this your way of trying to get me into your bed?" I can't help but ask,

"What if it was?"

The sane part of my brain makes me come to my senses before I answer, "Then I'd say you need to get to sleep for work in a few hours."

"Your no fun." He huffs and I can't help but laugh at the thought of him sitting in a huff with a petted lip.

"Alright, goodnight Bren."

"Night Steven." He says sleepily before hanging up.

Its then that Sinead comes in looking sleepy as she lets out a yawn, "Everything alright?" She asks,

"Yeah fine." I send her a fake grin hoping she buys it but obviously not,

"Right come on then tell me." She says while lying on the couch opposite me and stretches out, "Ya haven't slept yet and I know how much ya love to sleep so it must be somethin important."

I roll my eyes as the light conversation pushes out my mind and I remember my recent discovery, "I think I'm in love." She looks at me with her mouth gaped open, "I am in love with Brendan Brady."

"Sakes Ste I knew you cared about him but love? Really are you sure?"

"I've never felt like this Sinead, I can't even explain."

"So what ya gonna do?"

"What do ya mean?"

"You gonna confess to him? Tell him how you feel?"

"Ya think I should?"

"Don't see the harm in it you've already fallen for him, if you don't tell him your gonna lose him eventually anyway. At least this way you won't have any regrets."

"Suppose your right yeah."

"I think he'll love you back." She grins at me and grabs my hand, "I might not approve but nobody in there right mind wouldn't love you and plus your gorgeous."

"Enough of that, else I think you might be in love with me."

She rolls her eyes, "Life would be so much simpler if you were straight."

"Yeah what makes you think you'd be my type then?"

"I'm everyone's type."

"Modest too aren't ya? No but seriously has somethin happened with Freddie again?"

"It's not so much something's happened it's that something hasn't happened. I've been with him for three years and still don't really have a commitment with him, he's probably still all wrapped up with Lyndsey an all."

"Your both still young there's plenty of time for the dead boring commitment stuff." I laugh at myself, "I sounded like a proper dad there didnt I?"

"Back in your day yeah?" She laughs,

"Nah but seriously your amazing and if he's all bothered with the boring nurse then that's his problem not yours. Want my advice? Don't pay him attention, he'll notice soon enough."

"Don't you think it's weird though? I'm round his house most of the time but he's never mentioned about getting our own place or even me properly staying at his."

"Trust me I'm a man and if anything I'd say he's probably just too scared to put anything out there incase you don't think the same."

"But all the hints I've dropped.."

"Freddie's a pretty face but he's sorta slow int he? I'd say you either go for it or back off and let him come to you." I smile at her, these are my favourite times with Sinead, both of us fighting to get comfy on the couch and giving advice, "Anyway I'm gonna sleep, got work soon."

"Same, I'll get a few more hours then make ya some breakie for getting up."

"Ta." I say while giving her a peck on the cheek and getting comfortable again, "Ya not goin to move then?"

"Nope." She says before elbowing me in the rib,

"See you just ruined our nice friendly moment there." I huff but we both don't talk after that as we drift to sleep.

Little did I know what else the day was going to have in for me. The restaurant kept us all ran off our feet I barely get a minute to myself my full shift and when I do get the chance to have a quick look at my phone I see a text from Brendan asking me to go to his office. I can't stop my heart from leaping and the grin that splits across my face, I know not that Sinead was right and I'm going to need to tell him.

I've always been really close with Sinead and it feels like a weight has been lifted, one that I hadn't even realised I'd been carrying around. Anytime something was bothering on me I could always go to her and vice versa, I could go to Tony about some things but Sinead was a lot less judgy and it's still carried on the same the older we've gotten.

"You've pecked up a bit." She murmers when I walk past her to give a customer there order, on my way back I grin at her,

"I think your right, I'm gonna tell him." I tell her with a nod,

"It's the right thing to do, no matter what he says back." She gives me a small smile and a pat on the arm.

Tony breaks the moment between us, "Right both of you back to work, you seen how busy it is?"

"How could we miss it Tone?" Sinead says back with an eye roll before getting back to it,

"What's been up with her lately?" He asks dumbfounded,

"Nout, don't think she slept well last night is all." I tell him,

He easily buys it before he perks up, "We need to talk about the expansion, I've got the business plan all set up, how do you feel about going over it all tonight?"

"I've got somethin on after I finish Tony." I huff not knowing how long things could take with Brendan since normally we spend the rest of the night together but I don't normally meet with him as early as this, "I'll get back to ya, just gonna make a phone call first."

I elbow my way through into the back room and I'm glad to see it's empty so I pull my phone out and select Brendan's number pressing the phone to my ear, it doesn't even ring and just goes straight to voicemail.

He must be busy so I decide to give him another phone when I'm leave work before I head to his office and just tell Tony that I'll be back by the time his shift has finished and help him closing up so we can go over it.

Sinead gives me a wink and whispers good luck to me when I pass her to leave the restaurant, I smile in thanks because I can't really trust my voice enough to talk. When I phone Brendan back and his phone still isn't on I can't help the dread that settles in my stomach.

I think about phoning Cheryl to see if she knows what he might want to go to the office for but decide against it since I don't really want her to bring up my confession last night and the words she used flash in my mind again, ' I don't know if he'll ever be capable of loving ye back. '

It's like a slap on the face and getting hit with freezing cold water all rolled into the one, that's when the doubt starts to creep up on me. Work had been so busy that I didn't have much of a chance to think about what would happen after I told him. I've only thought about blurting the words out to him, didn't let myself think about what he would say or more to the point what he wouldn't say.

What if I tell him and he just laughs in my face, or what if he does say it back? He's said so many times that relationships aren't his thing and even if he did decide to be with me would I even want that? After seeing the way things would be for us with all the rumours and the way the papers all go on around him and anything that connects to him. I don't really know if I would want to properly be with him.

I decide that I'm still going to tell him how I feel because I need to know if he feels the same. With that in mind I make my way to his office.

Brendan's point of view

"Listen Brendan the press are convinced, you don't need to keep Ste around anymore." Cheryl says with a sad smile on her face while sitting across from me,

"I thought we weren't meant to finish up with him until next week?" I ask desperately trying to find an excuse to keep him around, only an extra week but I'm sure I'd be able to make some excuse up to keep him around for longer, but what good would that really do? I'd be keeping him from his own life longer and I'd be getting even more attached to him than what I already am.

"Originally that was the plan yeah but everyone's bought it, we don't need to drag it out any longer." I know she's speaking sense and I can't help but wonder why I'm not jumping on this, I should be happy that I could get back to my normal life. "I know ye have both grown close together, I actually think ye would both be happy together for real."

"Happy together as friends or.. more?" I ask while looking down,

"I've seen how ye both are around each other and I'd rather say friends but I know it's more than that." She smiles sadly, "Could ye not just give it a chance love?"

I huff and finally make eye contact with her, "I can't Chez.. I'd just let ye both down, I'd let ye down and I'd let him down, hurt ye's both as well."

"I feel like there's a but in there somewhere?" She mutters and I look down again,

"But I want to be selfish with him." I say out loud, in my full life I've always put everyone else first even as I kid it has always been the same.

"As I've said I think ye could make each other happy." She looks at me with a glint of hope in her eyes I'm about to tell her not to get her hopes up but she interrupts, "If ye disagree then I think it's only right that ye let him go."

I nod while holding onto the bridge of my nose hoping that will release some of my stress, "Yeah Chez your right." I admit, "I think ye should leave now."

She looks unsure while she stands, "No, Brendan." She sighs while she tries to reach out towards me, "Don't push me away."

I shake my head and pull back slightly, "Please." I whisper pleadingly trying not to look at her before I clear my throat, "Please can ye just go." I hear her sighing and that's when I look up to see her moving slowly to the door before she turns back to me which makes me look back to the floor.

"I've seen a different side to ye recently and we both know it's down to him, please can ye do what's going to make ye happy?" I can tell without looking that she's sad, the emotion cracking in her voice, she always did wear her heart on her sleeve, "Just don't do something that you'll regret, we're all allowed to be selfish from time to time love."

It's silent for a moment while I process her words before I hear the door click shut and I finally let out a breath, one I feel like I've been holding in for longer than I actually have. I spin my chair around and take in the view from my office window, the other sky rise buildings around this one, the reflection of the clouds on the office the opposite from mine. Looking down towards of the people down below, mulling around doing their own thing, they look so small from up here.

I huff while I pull my office phone up and call through to tell my personal assistant to cancel my meetings and to leave after he's sent Steven through whenever it is that he turns up, in the short space of time I've known Steven I've cancelled meetings and not turned up to work more than I ever had before in my life, even when I went through the rebel stage when I was a teenager I had always worked hard in school and university. All I ever wanted was to escape that's what my motivation had always been, even now I'm still the same burying myself in work to run away, escape from my own mind most of the time.

I go over to the blinds and shut them, to stop the small bit of sunlight from getting through, surrounding myself in darkness I turn on the small light to bring a little bit of light into the room and send Steven a text to tell him to meet me at the office when he can before I turn my phone off and lock it away in the drawer of my desk.

Drinking isn't the best idea at this time because I know I need a straight and sober mind for what I'm about to do but irregardless I still find myself pulling out a bottle of scotch that a client had got me for helping them out one I had always said I'd never open at least not unless I was celebrating something big. I don't know if I'm celebrating or drowning in my sorrow.

I know I can't let myself dwell on my situation with Steven because I know I'll change my mind and I can't let that happen no matter how much I would love to. Cheryl was right Steven has brought out a different side to me and I know I probably won't be like that around another man again, definitely not anytime soon.

I pour out a glass for myself and count out the money before stuffing it into an envelope and sitting it on the desk. I just sit there waiting for him with my eyes closed, trying to shut off my brain of thoughts of anything, especially Steven. When Steven does appear he looks flustered, I feel my heart start to thump in my chest, I can't stop my eyes from roaming all over him taking him in, it's as if I've been starved of him.

How am I meant to let him go? How am I meant to go without seeing him?

"Is everything alright? I tried to phone but your phones off." He says and I can see he's unsure, his Adam's apple bopping.

I plaster a fake smile on my face don't know how I manage with what I'm about to do, "Yeah, of course Steven everything's great." I try not to spit the words out as I beckon him towards me.

Before I can help myself I step around the desk and pull him towards me. It's as if I'm possessed and my lips find his, he stands rigid at first before he melts against me, his warm silky mouth opening under the pressure of mine as my tongue slips in, mingling with his. I feel like this is what it would be like to have an outer body experience as my grip tightens at the nape of his neck as I press him closer to me, leaving no room for space between us.

He pulls away looking up at me through his long full lashes, bright bewildered blue eyes shining up at me with his brows furrowed in confusion, "What were that for?" He asks,

I shut my eyes and lean my head against his, allowing myself to bask in this feeling and remember everything because I know it'll be the last time, "That was goodbye." I tell him as I pull away and pat his chest with my two fingers, pushing him away lightly.

"What?" He asks in disbelief but still fighting a smile as if he thinks I'm playing some sort of joke on him.

"Were done." I tell him, my cold composure slipping on as I reach for the envelope and put it against his chest holding it there until he grabs it with his hand and looks down, "Ye done a great job but I don't need ye anymore."

His hand flys to the back of his neck where my hands recently vacated as he rubs it as if to soothe him while he looks around in disbelief. I have to turn around because I can't look at his face any more, I hear him about to argue, stuttering a few times before he lets out a breath of defeat after that the only noise that follows is a few shuffles before I hear him reach the door, he might have said goodbye but I couldn't hear him through the thick fog in my mind.

I can't shift the feeling like I've just lost something precious, feel like I'm at the end of some romantic comedy this would be the do or die moment and I would be out the door chasing after Steven and pulling him towards me before the end credits would roll, but this is real life and sometimes in real life you have to sacrifice things that you didn't even know you had, I'm not that man, know I never can be, I won't ever get that happy ending.

So instead I finish off my drink hoping it'll wash away the look on his face when I told him we were done and gave him the envelope filled with cash and turned away from him, the crushed look on his face plays over in my head taunting me as I close my eyes and take a deep breath to calm myself. I spin around and peek through the blinds to look out the window, seeing all the people moving around below me looking like tiny ants, knowing that he's one of them before I have to look away.

The tumblers already flying out my hand and hitting the office wall before my mind can even catch up with itself as shards of glass fly back at me.

Sooo that's part one of this story finished. Even I don't know who to feel more sorry for, Ste or Brendan? Here's a few spoilers of what miiight come up in the first few chapters of the sequel which will be called 'Too Late To Say Goodbye' So keep your eyes peeled for that! If any of you feel like I haven't covered something properly give me a wee message or if anyone wants me to add anything in then let me know and I'll try as I'm open to suggestions. Thanks again to everyone for reading and reviewing, you are all amazing people.. LGx

Brendan arrives back in England after going back to Dublin to clear his mind of thoughts of Steven.

After the way Brendan brushed Ste off do yous think he'll take Vinnie up on his offer and seek some good ol' revenge?

Ste and Tony make plans of opening a new restaurant but Ste can't stop thinking about Brendan.

Will we finally find out what has went on with Nate and Brendan?

Sinead is going to have a massive dilemma on her hands.

& Cheryl is playing the in between with being friends with Ste and being Brendan's sister, will she be able to handle the guilt of knowing why Brendan treated Ste the way he did? And the part she played in it?